How to Fix the Roads | Don McMillan Comedy

Take a right up here and catch that Pokemon.
#donmcmillan #standupcomedy #comedy
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🤓Don’s Bio🤓
America's #1 Nerdy Comedian
What do you get when you cross an Engineer with a stand-up comedian? You get Don McMillan. This former chip designer has been doing his one-of-a-kind, PowerPoint-Driven comedy show for audiences for over 20 years. In his show packed with graphs & charts, Don will show you the funny side of your world that has been sitting right in front of you - you are just too busy working to notice. Don graduated from Stanford University with a Master’s Degree in Electrical Engineering. He then went to work at AT&T Bell Labs where he was part of the team that designed the world’s first 32-bit microprocessor. He then moved to Silicon Valley where he helped launch the start-up company, VLSI Technology. Then after 15 years in the tech world, Don quit his job to become a stand-up comedian. That year he won $100,000 as the Comedy Grand Champion on “Star Search”. Don’s been seen on “The Tonight Show”, “HBO”, and the “Comedy Central”. These days, Don spends most of his time writing and performing customized corporate comedy shows for companies like Google, Apple, Amazon, Microsoft, Ford Motors, and Exxon/Mobil. Don has performed more than 800 corporate shows in the last 20 years and he was named the #1 Corporate Comedian by the CBS Business Network.

[@magicmulder]

"I'm sorry, I interruped your heckling with my act. Go on." was so polite and yet so savage. :D

[@aaronwilcox4376]

It's like the line; "I'm sorry that the middle of my sentence interrupted the beginning of yours."

[@funlovingvoyeur]

I immediately paused the clip to check the math - it was correct, I would not have expected otherwise. When I press play again I hear you ask: are you checking my math..... Yes, of course I am....

[@utswriter]

I gonna guess...... engineer?

[@JustAJosuke]

Found the mechanical engineer

[@Smeik100]

​@@utswriter An engineer doesn't have to check this. He sees it and knows it to be right or not

[@zevfarkas5120]

Confused by all this high-tech jargon? Let me make it simple: Mechanical, chemical and electrical engineers design weapons. Civil engineers design targets.

[@TannerJ07]

Perfect description

[@BaldAndCurious]

Civil engineerings design the silos where the weapons fly out from.

[@zevfarkas5120]

@@BaldAndCurious And those silos are prime targets for the enemy. QED ;)

[@BaldAndCurious]

@@zevfarkas5120 True

[@briankinsey3339]

And Aerospace engineers design the best delivery vehicles. 🤓

[@rexturner8208]

Luv this guy's comedy. He is smart enough to be able to be able to work a crowd totally clean & be funny or bring out some edgy stuff if needed. Yes I am an electrical engineer, what of it?😂😂😂

[@mikek0135]

I'd give you a thumbs up, but I'll let someone else ruin your 69.

[@bikeny]

The road test suggestion I think has become the way of the world in some places.

[@liwojenkins]

It's part of the Florida culture but I wish they would enforce it. The people that don't understand and drive the speed limit in the left lane mess it up for everyone.

[@hummel6364]

Love how the separation by speed is basically what we do in Europe and it works so well. You can only overtake other cars on the left side, and trucks generally have to leave the far left lane open. This way the slow drivers are on the right most of the time, and in Germany specifically, the guys going 120+mph stick to the left lane.

[@chaoslord8918]

This is how it's supposed to be in the US, but nobody here knows how to drive. I see big rigs trying to go uphill in the left lane, going right past a sign that says "Slower traffic keep right" all the time. Yeah, there's a healthy market for bumper stickers that say "If I pass you on the right, you're an idiot."

[@Smeik100]

​@@chaoslord8918 It is dangerous to pass on the right

[@adamperdue3178]

@@Smeik100 It is. Which is why if you're being passed on the right, then you're an idiot for making the road less safe. The left lane is* for passing, so if you're not passing somebody, get back into the right lane. Too many drivers have some sort of fucked up pride about being in 'the fast lane' and refuse to get over, forcing people to get into the right lane to get past them, which is unsafe.

[@Smeik100]

@@adamperdue3178 Wouldn't be the safest to queue in the left lane?

[@adamperdue3178]

@@Smeik100 no. It's more dangerous because you would end up causing a congestion for no reason other than one person being too selfish to move over. And the congestion is more dangerous than passing on the left. (And it's also unreasonable to boot to say that if somebody is just plodding along in the left lane, that now everyone on the highway now has to conform to their speed)

[@biaberg3448]

This is how the traffic works on German highways. No specific speed limits, but you can’t drive past the car in the line on your left side. So the speed gets higher the more to the left you get.

[@ryankelly9032]

It’s supposed to be similar in the US, but with the speed limits. Unfortunately, we get a lot of people who like to drive slowly in the left line, which screws it up for the rest of us.

[@HenryMidfields]

@@ryankelly9032 I think some of this can be solved by Don's idea. Not the "go for it", but say leftmost lane or two allows 75 or even 85mph, the middle lane(s) can be 65-70mph, and the rightmost lane (both the main one and any entry/exit lanes further right) only allows 55 mph (like in the not so good old days, but more reasonable).

[@ryankelly9032]

@@HenryMidfields that’s effectively how it works now, but some people don’t care. It might help if it were officially the law, but until then, most drivers are inconsiderate of their fellow drivers and do whatever they want, regardless of how it affects other drivers.

[@toaddotexe9504]

The fact that i broke at the hexidecimal joke... i was laughing the entire time but dammit for some reason thats what broke me, had to pause the video so i coupd breathe again lol

[@christopheld1]

You are hilarious and actually found the best way to fix the traffic in California with the line by speed! 😂😂😂

[@mwm48]

Civil Engineer here…I literally lol’ed at your Civil joke. 😂

[@spencerhenstrom9344]

Civil engineer here as well, I died at it

[@Fix_It_Again_Tony]

@@spencerhenstrom9344 I lost it at the counting in hexadecimal reference. That says all you need to know about me.

[@relwalretep]

May you be uncivil on Friday night!

[@cetitanenthusiast776]

​@@Fix_It_Again_TonyI'm still trying to type the numbers into my calculator. Unfortunately my system only works in Octal. I may have missed a few software updates.

[@garybarnes4169]

The British Yellow Pages used to have an entry "Boring: See Civil Engineers" 😂

[@mikek0135]

😮😠😂

[@pictureel5863]

More people need to discover Don’s comedy!!

[@SilverSidedSquirrel]

"Is that my sweater? It's horrible..." - Jeremy Hotz

[@jakeg3126]

I always thought they should do lanes as how many exits until you get off so there’s less merging.

[@TroyVan6654]

Until you get stuck behind a truck going 40 mph 3 exits out.

[@markuhler2664]

Damn it, he caught me! I did pause to add up the numbers.

[@Yohann67]

My dad is mechanical engineer and I am in the medical field but I still have engineeritis so yeah, I laughed at a lot of those harder than maybe I should have. LOVE the texting/driving test idea; fail them all lol, let them know how bad they suck(but then they will still drive). So how about requiring some sort of large LED sign that illuminates the words CAUTION! MORON DRIVING when the phone is active. For most of us it wouldn’t be much of a surprise tho…….

[@petertaylor4980]

My physics and electronics teacher taught me a mnemonic for the phases in reactive components with alternating current: CIVIL: current leads voltage in capacitors and lags in inductors. The mnemonic for the mnemonic was "civil engineers are the least intelligent engineers, so the mnemonic is chosen to be easy for them to remember".

[@setharnold9764]

"FOAD" -- his story checks out, he's clearly a computer engineer.

[@michaelplowman8674]

As a fan of RCE, I now want to see that these two meet.

[@1bc003]

I don't know if it is still this way, but Colorado I-25 was 75-65-55 back in the 90's.

[@zevfarkas5120]

...hike!

[@andrewthomas7109]

They've added another lane each direction, so now it's 85-75-65-55

[@johnmckown1267]

Only 20+? 44+ in IT,on IBM mainframes.

[@MyVanir]

It's not a dick size contest, bigger number does not mean you necessarily win.

[@zevfarkas5120]

I missed his (apparently amusing) translation of Valencia. Anyone help me out here?

[@NONO-hz4vo]

He said it was Spanish for Magic Mountain which is the name of the Six Flags theme park there.

[@zevfarkas5120]

@@NONO-hz4vo Thanks!

[@JamesTDG]

Hey Don, what's your thoughts on microelectronics engineers?

[@jakeg3126]

Probably thinks very little about them

[@Fix_It_Again_Tony]

@@jakeg3126 Their contributions are rather small.

[@zevfarkas5120]

Size doesn't matter.

[@Hoshimaru57]

I passed the right turn while catching Pokémon part. Actually the irony is I was distracted in my last accident. But NOT by my phone, by the driver next to me. I’m driving to work first thing in the morning groggy and we get into high speed heavy traffic. I’m stuck in the left lane. At some point I go to get over right and notice that the vehicle passing me is a large RV with a Tow Mater trailer. I try to move up to move in front of it and notice that the door for the auxiliary port is open. And I think to myself “why is their auxiliary p-“ I look back just in time to see myself careening toward the car in front of me and swerve left hoping to dodge in the left breakdown lane. No good, it’s too thin too late. I take off the guy’s left rear quarter panel, peel my right front corner of my car like a banana, rip my right front tire off breaking the axle, bounce off the Jersey barrier on the left, and come screeching to a halt 200ft down the guardrail. I’m having flashbacks describing it.

[@simonp.5964]

The lanes he suggested are sort of how the Autobahn works. Quite rare to have five lanes at the same time though.

[@jenniferpearce1052]

Pretty normal for a west coast American city

[@HolySoliDeoGloria]

4:00 missing a plus sign. Bad engineer.

[@RevokFarthis]

Oh... "Go for it" not "It for *Go* "

[@jmwadding]

Quality engineer. WTF is that ?

[@russcudney1469]

Overpaid broom pusher

[@zevfarkas5120]

Someone who makes sure that no more than a particular amount of quality goes into the product.

[@jmwadding]

@@zevfarkas5120 In my world (pharma) somebody who makes sure no batches go out the door because "I've got a non-data related feeling something is not right".

[@anzaca1]

4:52 Isn't this how the autobahn works?

[@DiMono]

What's the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets. Thank you, I'll be here all comment.

[@josephconway6122]

Loved the older version where Cuss words was not part of the act.

[@MyVanir]

Ye, it was fucking awesome.

[@rgnestle]

Never heard you use the f-word before. I'm a little sad to have heard it now. But you are still hilarious!

[@alexrechkin7]

Please read "Breaking comedy' DNA" by Jerry Corley and come up with more fresh material easier.

[@jerrysinclair3771]

Don, F-bombs and s--t language is not your style. Kids watch these videos and think it is cool to talk like a drunken sailor. My wife walks by and cannot understand why i would watch or listen to this. Don, I thot you had more class.

[@NerdyCatCoffeeee]

First of, it's thought, second off, engineers without cursing is like Vikings without pillaging and advanced government. That doesn't exist, friend. (ask me how i know)

[@jberzin3]

Probably you should not listen to this….

[@kiddailey]

Yeah - I’ve shared a lot of Don’s stuff with friends, family and kids. Guess that’s the end of that for me sadly.

[@jerrysinclair3771]

@@jberzin3 The point was that his previous videos did not stoop to such a level. Now that I have heard the worst...maybe he will change his ways. But me think, proably not.

[@jerrysinclair3771]

@@NerdyCatCoffeeee I never heard his videos get vulgar and nasty before.