Autism and Sleep | 5 Common Challenges and Practical Remedies

[@MrDaydreamer1584]

Two suggestions: 1. When you lie down to go to sleep, have your mind made up that simply lying there with your eyes closed is almost as good as being asleep. Have your mind made up that it almost doesn't matter if you fall asleep or not, because it feels good just to rest with your eyes closed. (This will make it much easier to fall asleep.) 2. Have your mind made up that once you crawl into bed, you will not make eye contact with any clock until your morning alarm goes off.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Thanks for sharing this 💓 I also try to just take in the feeling of my bed through all of my senses. And tell myself it doesn't matter if I'm sleeping, I can actually relax and be safe right here in this moment with all of my comfy things around me.

[@MrDaydreamer1584]

@@MomontheSpectrum Yes! The number one thing that prevents you from falling asleep is the fear of not being able to fall asleep. What I described-- and what you described-- is how you eliminate that fear. Dogs and cats have zero difficultly falling asleep. The reason is that they have no fear of being unable to fall asleep.

[@aka.roryyy]

yes! the clock thing! i can never resist looking at the clock/fitbit when i wake up @ night (last night it was like 4 times. 1am, 3am, 5am, 8am... and then i said screw it, i *guess* i'm awake now. but i normally tell myself *do not look @ the time, it never helps anything* 🫠

[@3SeasonsUSA]

In Winter I have no concept of when it's time to get up and I know I might have wakened too early and just need to go back to bed, so I have to look. This has been a real problem just this year. I am getting older

[@heedmydemands]

Wow smart those sound like some good rules

[@amandamills6181]

I'm sitting here struggling to stop watching KZbin & go to sleep. I do this all the time.

[@yesterdaydream]

I keep wondering if my parents have known this whole time and chose not to tell me, even well into my 30s?? As a kid, I was like, why do I have to lay here in the dark for x hours and try to turn off my brain when I'm not tired yet? And how am I supposed to turn off my brain when moonlight shows behind the extra sheets pinned over my dark curtains, and the air conditioning sounds like a tornado, and I can't stop picturing what Satan might look like. I woke up my parents nearly every night because I kept hearing a tv on, even though it wasn't. Or because I became increasingly upset that I wouldn't be rested enough for school the next day and I couldn't cope with missing anything in school. I didn't know...but the more I learn, the more I question how much they've known.

[@yesterdaydream]

ALSO my parents eventually gave me sleepy pills (something over the counter like Unisom) and they did NOT help.

[@robochelle]

Careful not to judge others based on only your perspective. Yes it can happen, and only you can keep or change your own opinion, but intentional malice is exceedingly rare. It's possible that your parents were uninformed, or were overwhelmed, or even convinced themselves that you were normal because admitting a child is not normal can lead to societal blame on the parents.

[@MikeOfNotts]

@@3SeasonsUSA Drugs are not a permanent solution. Your body eventually becomes immune to them and they stop working. If you need them now, then use them but you must also have a plan when to stop.

[@3SeasonsUSA]

@@MikeOfNotts These are homeopathic. I used to use Moon Drops, but these have Belladonna in minute amounts. It might have had Melatonin as well. Melatonin affects some people's memory. Calms Forte is wonderful, been using it for about 4 years, no ill affects. I am sure the parents of the child I am concerned about will struggle with just what you said. There is no drug that is the final answer, especially for children. Switch meds from time to time?

[@shasita3361]

My parents always thought I was a bit odd. They knew I had some problems, but they didn't know where to look for help. And my issues were never quite big enough to pursue it. Wasn't untill I hit burnout at 30 yo that we acknowledged something had to happen. Got my diagnosis 2 years later. I don't blame my parents. And back then, I probably wouldn't even have gotten the diagnosis anyways. They weren't as good at diagnosing it in girls back then. No use looking back. Try to change things with the knowledge you have now

[@krovidae]

A common reason I find it hard to go to bed is that I find the prospect of everything I have to do each day so overwhelming (even though I don't work so all I have to do are basic household/survival tasks) and in the evening after dinner is when it's finally all done and I can actually relax, that I don't want to transition to the next day because then I have to do it all over again. I suffer with depression and the mood/energy I have upon waking up is pretty variable, so when I'm enjoying my evening activity and feeling pretty good, it's really hard to bring that to an end prematurely because I take so long to get my mood stable and spend so much of my day feeling irritable and stressed out that that peace feels really precious. So instead I often end up procrastinating going to bed until I AM irritable again so that I'm not losing anything, and then it's hard to get up at a decent time because I need a lot of sleep to function and my sleep routine can just never settle into a healthy pattern. I'm sure these kind of sleep troubles are experienced by a lot of people, not just autistic, but it's such a constant internal battle it can be really demoralizing.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Wow I really appreciate how you put this cycle into words. This is very similar to what I experience too but I haven't had the words to put these thoughts together.

[@LM-uq9nv]

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

[@amemabastet9055]

Exactly. And even worse. I did have a shift job, so I have been taught not to respect the clock. "Last night" lasted until 8 am this "morning" which happened at about 12:30 pm. I'm now struggling with the idea that I might at least go ahead and change into night gown and brush my teeth so I'm prepared for bed when I feel drowsy. But writing this is so much more fun. Normally I succeed in getting into be about 1-2-3 in the morning, sleeping to 10-11-12. I now have plans on how I will rebuild my bed environment to make it more attractive, so I want to go there.

[@shasita3361]

Same. Except I do have a job. Been partially sick for almost 2 years due to burnout, and am now about to lose that job. The whole having to jobhunt while being exhausted and overstimulated, and still trying to perform at work, makes it so much harder to go to bed. I do not want to start the next day at all. And when I do go to bed, everything is too much: the feel of the pillowcase on me, my hair, the sound of my partner sleeping. If only the cartoon mallet to knock someone out worked in real life...

[@roweme]

This 100% Thank you so much for sharing - it's so validating. I'll get so frustrated with myself that I'm eating into tomorrow's energies and positive mood by staying up late, but I'm just trying to squeeze every last drop out of the peaceful, no-pressure, relaxation time that the evenings bring because, as you say, it's so precious 😢

[@vslifeofcycles5415]

Me during the intro: "Oh. But I don't have any sleep issues. Maybe I'm not actually Autistic???" Also me: Literally breaks down crying when you say the most common issue is transitioning into bedtime routines. I feel so validated. I have been so down on myself lately because I keep getting to bed late and getting to work late because I just can't start my bedtime routine on time. Thank you so much for this video!!!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

You’re so welcome! I know, I’ve also written off so many issues in my life until I found the autistic community and have been able to make sense of SO many challenges.

[@esm1817]

I struggle with that too, big time!

[@heedmydemands]

Me too. I didn't understand why I was being so resistant to the idea of going to bed even though I really am quite tired

[@thedawnpatrol7139]

@@heedmydemands me too. I told myself I was acting like a petulant child for not getting to bed on time

[@heedmydemands]

@@thedawnpatrol7139 lately I've been doing worse because I'm watching a very exciting show and I get to the end of the episode and I'm like I have to find out what happens next and will sometimes do it again too lol

[@samanthabeaty4578]

hahaha, I always thought that the fairy tale of "The Princess and the Pea" was about an autistic woman 😆

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Hahaha great point!! Never thought of this

[@3SeasonsUSA]

That's definitely me, sadly

[@judymurray191]

I always related to that story since childhood. I’m just learning, at 75 years old, that all these weird things about me is probably Autism. Better late than never, I guess.

[@marycooney303]

The tiniest crumb can feel like a razor on my skin. I always related to that particular princess, the only one, actually. 😂

[@lish8591]

​@@marycooney303Exactly! I will vacuum my bed.

[@MrsHuff16]

I feel like I’ve exhausted EVERYTHING I possibly can to have the best “sleep hygiene” for myself, however since stumbling on this idea that my insomnia (and a plethora of other bizarre/unexplained and impossible to treat symptoms) could all be related and potentially linked to a missed autism diagnosis….just KNOWING there are actually other people out here with these same experiences, is a huge relief. Not that I wish these struggles on anyone, but I have felt so alone and crazy, and almost wanting to “check out” of life. Not end it, but basically given up on even trying because there are road blocks to everything for me. I felt cursed…now that I’m learning there are other people out here with these same life experiences, gives me some new perspective and feelings. I can’t describe them, but I can say it’s positive

[@ChrisBigBad]

Yes. I learned the phrase "I took the foot off the break" from Gary Go's song Refuse To Lose. And every now and again I feel like taking the foot off the break and all just let it... go.

[@r.1599]

Transitions...that makes sense. Not only for sleep, but for just doing things throughout the day. It takes me three hours from the time I get up, to be ready to go out the door, and all I have to do is make breakfast, feed the cat, dress, and leave (I shower the night before). But it's like I freeze and the minutes tick by as I sit there, unable to hoist myself up to go onto the next thing.

[@barn_ninny]

For many, many years, before I had an ASD diagnosis, I called my sleep problem "sleep inertia": if I'm awake, I tend to stay awake, and if I'm asleep, I tend to stay asleep. This was eventually diagnosed as Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder, which is a circadian rhythm disorder. That was also before the ASD diagnosis came along. Not sure of the relationship between those 2.

[@capriquarius9861]

Ooooh I've never heard of this, ty for the info. This is me to a t... gonna look into it more.

[@Fidram]

I’m undiagnosed, but I’m hot-faced crying right now, because you just gave me so much validation. Every point. Thank you. I don’t mean to sound poetic, but I feel saved. Thank you so much. 😭😭😭❤️

[@bolinhong2598]

I used this doc herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it

[@DhhskkHehdis]

So glad I got the best treatment for my autistic son who is only 4 years old I've been using Dr Oyalo Herbal medicine and it has been really helpful,💯 his speech has improved completely

[@tinahatch7440]

After years of being diagnosed as OCD, highly sensitive, ADHD, possibly bipolar...my new therapist diagnosed me as on the spectrum. Everything makes sense now! What you said about challenges with transitions has blown my mind. I've always struggled with that but didn't know why. As someone who struggled to feel and act "normal" for 48 years, I deeply appreciate voices like yours.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Thanks so much Tina and congrats on your dx. That changed my life so much! I hope it continues to bring you clarity and self compassion!

[@CK_SiQue_MT-BC]

Hey! Me too. And once I was cycled off many of my high-dose meds for bipolar disorder my brain started to focus and some of my OCD was easier to manage. Being misdiagnosed for 48 years is both painful to look back at, but a life-changer for the future.

[@kathyborthwick6738LakotaEmoji]

It’s such a relief to finally be diagnosed accurately! 🌿💚🌿

[@lovepeace11]

Same here - at 60! But I'm loving this new discovery and connecting the dots of years long "weirdness".

[@bolinhong2598]

I used this doc herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it

[@sueannevangalen5186]

It is REALLY HARD being an autistic parent to autistic children because EVERYBODY has sleep disturbances and they never line up with each other. If I have a lot of trouble getting to sleep and don't get there till after midnight, and then my son wakes up ready to go at 3am, I'm in for a BAD DAY the next day.

[@resa31802]

Everybody! My husband is the only one who gets any sleep around here.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Yes! I take a while to fall asleep, and then almost as soon as I close my eyes, my son comes in to sleep with me. (Also my cats decide they hate each other and start fighting!)

[@sueannevangalen5186]

@@MomontheSpectrum Yeah, cats can be so noisy at night. I'm not even sure what that's all about 😸

[@3SeasonsUSA]

@@sueannevangalen5186 This is really been a problem when I sleep over at my daughter's home. They have 3 cats. It's getting easier, if I use white noise. The neighborhood is the real problem, if there is street racing, fireworks or someone drives into the complex with music blaring, car alarm, etc. Before Covid-19 lock-downs, things used to be quieter.

[@jimwilliams3816]

@Mom on the Spectrum ....nooooo! Triggered! Our cats (litter mates, for cryin’ our loud) have been coming and going on whether they hate each other, and last week was a bit of an eruption. We had gates up around the house most of last year. 😾

[@Brantithor]

To get to sleep with minimal difficulty, I need to have a ton of things set just so: 68°, blackout curtains, one or more fans, ear plugs, weighted blanket, nighttime mouthguard, properly aligned bedding, no wrinkling of the sheets, at least one of my pets, and the list goes on! I wish I had a proven system to make myself "ready" to start transiting to bedtime. That's where my biggest shortcoming is. Doesn't matter how tired I am, how long the day was, or how early I need to wake up the next day, it might be 1am before I finally "feel ready" to go to bed. Transitions are hard 😖

[@MomontheSpectrum]

sigh... yes transitions can be so difficult to manage.

[@bolinhong2598]

I used this doc herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it

[@ABC-jq7ve]

I love that you don’t add music or film outdoors. I find myself distracted with unnecessary noises in videos.

[@samanthabeaty4578]

Man, it sure is nice to know why the heck I always just sit in my car for a long time before I do anything. I've always called it "glitching out" haha. It makes sense now.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Glitching out is a great phrase for it!

[@corafishy]

it absolutely feels like glitching out.

[@mazzystarr7078]

I'm going to try this rather than rushing into places. I will sing some songs in the car.

[@lauranilsen8988]

My kids and I laughed when she takes about sitting in the car. 😂 That’s the #1 reason they sometimes don’t want to go with me to the store.

[@taylorwild7624]

I always wondered why my partners hated waiting for me and wondered what I was doing. I am preparing for whatever has just come and whatever is coming next I think. Becoming a mother has shortened the time I spend doing it because kids don't always have the capacity to wait! 😊

[@Respectable_Username]

5:33 Oh hey, here's me sitting on my couch watching this at 2:30am so absolutely completely exhausted and sleepy but can't go to bed because lying down won't allow the burps to vent out 🙃

[@JAZZYGIRL1988W]

Speaking of having different/opposite reactions to medications, I actually participated in a genetic study that was testing how autistic people metabolize different psychiatric medications! I sent a saliva sample to the research team at the hospital and a few months later got back a report about what medications I metabolize faster, at a normal rate, and slower. Now my primary doctor can make recommendations based on my specific metabolism. Really cool stuff imo!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

This is awesome!!

[@toes3286]

I'm working with my doctor to get this test done!

[@madams3916]

It would be great to have this done! My reactions to medicines are usually outside the norm and it's hard to ever be on anything because if it does work it's usually for a limited period of time (placebo probably?) and then the wheels falls off again. I didn't even know there was a test for this, if you see this comment do you have a name for what this test is called?

[@nicolebeaumont8549]

The medication bit is interesting. Do you have a video about that and serotonin levels? I woke up in the middle of having my wisdom teeth removed. I could hear the dentist scraping and talking about a park picnic with family. It was weird. Birth control worked, but also messed up with my system. I went to a women's health store they recommended a book that teaches how to chart and observe your cycle. This and protection worked great.

[@seahorse251]

I had an eye doctor test me for dry eye by putting little strips of paper on mt lower eye lids. He then left the room. I began to pass out. I had to yell for help. He said that test sometimes causes that reaction but he never mentioned that to me before he did the test. I felt so ill after that test and had to ride the bus home feeling ill. It was awful.

[@Anotherhumanexisting]

The sleep deprivation, body pain, gut problems, sensory, mood dysregulation, etc, etc. are what make this illness so miserable for me. There’s no amount of societal change/acceptance that would make those symptoms tolerable. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. I’ve known since I was a kid that I refuse to inflict / pass this down for anyone else to endure.

[@sueannevangalen5186]

I have a much better night if I spend about half an hour rocking in the rocker-glider before going to bed. I just seem to need it. RE: reading at bedtime... I can read fiction at bedtime but not non-fiction. Non-fiction gets my mind whirling for some reason while fiction calms me right down. Does anyone else find that? Also, I am SO GLAD my husband and I aren't the only couple who sleep with separate blankets. We are each so high maintenance about what we need in blankets that it's just better if we each have our own. It's really hard to buy sheets, though. What we need is a queen size fitted sheet plus two twin size flat sheets. I always end up using the flat sheets from my oldest son's sets (he doesn't like the texture of them). My sheets have airplanes and dinosaurs on them 🤣

[@MomontheSpectrum]

That does sound like quite a predicament with the sheet situation but I do love the dinosaurs!

[@esm1817]

I'm the reverse. I can't read fiction or I get hooked and I am up all night.

[@sueannevangalen5186]

@@MomontheSpectrum 🤣

[@sueannevangalen5186]

@@esm1817 Oh, that's so interesting 🤔

[@mercuryistired7191]

Oh my god. The trouble transitioning- why has no one ever told me about this. This sums up my struggles I deal with everyday

[@MomontheSpectrum]

I know - once I saw this for myself it was life changing! When I get stuck in the car now and can’t transition into the next thing I just kinda laugh and give myself more time. So strange, these patterns! But I’m glad I’m learning to understand them.

[@jamesfv1]

All I want is a weighted blanket, weighted eye mask and a fan for my bus where I live. Insomnia has been in my life since I was a kid and I take a lot of medication and still wake up. Ear plugs are great and I sleep with my dressing gown covering my face. I can’t have my face uncovered, makes my feel too exposed. I hope I can buy a few things this year so I can finally maybe sleep.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

I sleep with my hands pressed against my face! I forgot to mention those types of things. Thanks for sharing.

[@ryn2844]

ahaha... Watching this while I've been procrastinating on going to bed for a couple of hours now. I feel called out. Alright alright I'll go to bed.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Hahaha. You can do this! One step at a time.

[@saraadams1391]

Never knew I was autistic, found out 2 days ago. I have exhausted myself having coped for all my years, being unaware, and undiagnosed. Fitting for autism awareness month. Feel like I can rest in the knowing and thrive now. I masked less today, really to conserve my energy and embody my true self. It’s a great feeling to know that I finally found out what my deal is. I can forgive myself and others. Understanding mostly how poor I am at maintaining relationships and how difficult it can be to be my friend.

[@bolinhong2598]

I used this doc herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it

[@writerious]

One thing I notice is that some of the "sleep hygiene" things don't work for me. Having a bedtime routine is okay, once I can get myself off of the couch. No TV in the bedroom is fine, I don't even have one in the house, and screens do keep me awake. But there's the advice that if you can't get to sleep in 20 minutes, or wake up and can't get back to sleep, get up and do something quiet until you're sleepy. Ahhahahaha, no. If I get up and turn on a light to read or something, it will be hours before I'm sleepy again. It's much better for me to just lie there and play stories in my head and not worry whether I'm asleep or not. They also say not to have a clock that you can see because every time you look at it, you'll be more stressed that you're not asleep. For me, it's the opposite. If I can't see a clock, I worry about what time it is. If I wake up at 3:00 am and I have to get up at six, I'm not frustrated that I'm awake at three, I'm thinking, "Oh, good, I still have three hours to sleep."

[@MomontheSpectrum]

thanks for sharing your experience!

[@kirstynmcleary4963]

Oh this so much! If I get up and wait for the sleepy feeling I’ll be waiting anywhere from hours to days. Knowing I have more time to sleep or rest is relaxing for me. When I’m struggling I’ll listen to audio books as I’ve learned a lot that if I can’t sleep, resting is nearly just as good. So lying in bed in a dark room resting gives me many of the chemicals my brain needs from sleep that I wouldn’t get if I got up. Resting when I can’t sleep also makes it more likely that I’ll be able to sleep.

[@rachaelb9164]

I thought I was the only person that procrastinated bedtime even though I was completely exhausted and had work the next day. That makes sense. I used to work nights and got used to sleeping with earplugs, eye mask, and blackout curtains. I can’t sleep without all that and I also have a CPAP and it’s taken years to find the perfect mask. I’ve been wanting to try the Manta mask for a while. Good excuse to use your link :)

[@MomontheSpectrum]

I hope you love it as much as I do! 💤 😴

[@515aleon]

I couldn't adjust to CPAP. I would lie awake for the two hours I was supposed to wear it--and then try and fall asleep. The place I got CPAP didn't really allow me to try different masks. I wonder if that would have helped.

[@Respectable_Username]

10:23 My mum always needs the TV to fall asleep. On the other hand, I _can't_ fall asleep when there's noise, especially human voices. Was always a royal pain in the backside on family holidays as a kid when everyone shared a room as I was somehow expected to fall asleep in an unfamiliar place when I wasn't tired and the TV was playing. I was just supposed to deal with it though as parents' preferences came first

[@kackmalwieder]

Holy shit, she is talking about ME. It blowes my mind. I wish, I had been aware of all this decades before...

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Hi! I’m glad you’re here. Thanks for your comment.

[@BrazenNL]

Finally someone else that needs to hear something to be able to sleep (a "comfort show on tv"). For me, it has to be a subject that interests me, so my mind doesn't race between various interests, and the voice needs to be calming. Without that, I have a very hard time falling asleep with my mind still trying to solve problems or process situations.

[@reginalutz3680]

I usually can't fall asleep to a show but Ancient Aliens is one that I can absolutely sleep to. No loud transitions and the voices are all similar and soothing in tone.

[@Amara262]

All this time I thought I was just an irresponsible person who couldn't get to sleep on time. I never thought about bedtime as having a difficult time with transitions and it is so validating! I use body doubling all the time with tasks!! I never even knew that it was a thing, I just always knew if I could get my husband to "help me" that I would be able to do the task, even if it was a task I could do by myself. When I was younger I had very specific bedtime routines, but after I started living with my husband I had to adapt, and it went poorly. My way to deal with bedtime is to just keep going until I get so tired I pass out (not healthy, I know). I'm so excited to start trying some of these to see if they help! Thank you so much!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

You’re so welcome! And re: body doubling, isn’t it interesting that sometimes our bodies just instinctively know what we need?

[@bolinhong2598]

I used this doc herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it

[@DhhskkHehdis]

So glad I got the best treatment for my autistic son who is only 4 years old I've been using Dr Oyalo Herbal medicine and it has been really helpful,💯 his speech has improved completely

[@princesspiranha]

Thanks for the explanation on delayed processing/trouble turning off your mind at night! I tried to describe this when I went for an autism diagnosis. I so often go through conversations (or even presentations) in my head and indeed change how I reacted or what I said. Or say anything at all when I wasn't able to join a conversation earlier. Sometimes these conversations are from months or even years ago. I just can't help it, but it somehow feels like good practice to me haha. Sadly, the woman who did my assessment kept asking follow-up questions like: "So you're anxious about what you said?" "You worry about what other people thought?" things like that! I tried to explain SO hard that I wasn't worrying about the memories. They just pop-up, I think about them, adjust it. It goes on autopilot and it feels more like what I can do in the future, instead of being super anxious about is. But it really felt like she didn't want to take a no for an answer and she kept pushing it towards anxiety.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Hmm yes it does kind of sound like she had an idea in her mind of what she wanted it to be. I’m glad the delayed processing concept was helpful to you. Total game changer for me as well! Thanks for your comment.

[@thatonecordelia]

The first psychiatrist I went to for my ADHD fixated on the fact that I said I used to be depressed and anxious in the past, though I believe it was connected to my ADHD in a way as well. He kept going back to depression & anxiety and it was just not the vibes. If possible I'd always recommend looking into different people if someone doesn't click with you. My current psychiatrist took 2 sessions with me and diagnosed me with ADHD, and is currently working with me on an ASD diagnosis because he believes I deserve to know if I have it or not, and understands that the two sometimes go hand in hand. It's exhausting that it's so normal to have to go through multiple doctors to find someone who will genuinely listen to you, and I wish it wasn't so, but it's the best thing one can do for themselves despite it being extremely draining at times.

[@rebeccamay6420]

"Ruminating" is one way we process experiences. I notice that I recall unpleasant moments that occurred when I am in either the same place or a similar place that the moment first occurred. Ex: a traffic light or intersection where the other driver was a jerk. I replay and rewind and rewrite my responses "for next time." I also noticed something I didn't know was A Thing with autistism, the "self soothing" habit of softly sighing or humming with or without melody. I may recall the anxiety that I had in that moment, and I may feel the emotions again. I'd connect it to "processing" but not necessarily to an anxiety disorder.

[@lauranilsen8988]

I relate so much to this. I replay conversations analyzing the whole thing but NOT worrying. It does seem helpful, like practicing. I will also imagine and practice for conversations coming up. 😆

[@bolinhong2598]

I used this doc herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it

[@Sasha8611]

Had the most unexpected reaction to your explanation of body doubling, I completely teared up because I felt so validated by that and everything else you’ve discussed. I’ve suspected that I’m autistic for a while (I’m currently in the process of seeking a diagnosis) but it’s just such an incredible feeling to hear my experiences and struggles mirrored by others. Thank you so much for providing information like this, it’s invaluable to people like me!

[@bolinhong2598]

I used this doc herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it

[@DhhskkHehdis]

So glad I got the best treatment for my autistic son who is only 4 years old I've been using Dr Oyalo Herbal medicine and it has been really helpful,💯 his speech has improved completely

[@Alirosa937]

I 1000% have to trick myself into the bare essentials of my bed time routines- flossing & taking off makeup while watching my shows- or it NEVER happens. Then I can focus all my energy on just trying to get into bed & going to sleep! Not being able to do the majority of maintenance most people do at night has had a bad effect in my health too. Not to mention difficulty with falling asleep once I get into bed. This whole issue is such a huge problem for me!! (Adhd & autistic)

[@heartsmyfaceforever8140]

I do yoga and deep breathing for about an hour before beds. Melatonin gummies too.

[@AlwaysLime]

The transition from sleep to getting dressed is SO hard for me. I usually put everything including my toothbrush beside my bed does help. My husband always gets a bit frustrated because I am really really bad at making my kids do their bedtime routine and go to bed. That’s what I thought of when you mentioned sleep issues.

[@eph2vv89only1way]

I could ask someone to body double, but I don't think my dog or cats will cooperate. But it is a great idea for people who don't live alone

[@MiljaHahto]

Some Discord servers for autistic people have voice channel specifically for body doubling.

[@heatherdwilliams]

Wow. The hyper-awareness of little things (damn red light on some electronic item just STARING at me!!! lol) and the textures/sounds/etc. needed to get sleep 'right' or it's impossible is my life 100%! Thanks for this (and the dozen of other videos I've watched of yours in the last few days since my doc suggested looking into a ASD diagnosis) ... as an adult who's been 'weird' and awkward all my life, the discovery that people saying "Heather's always been quirky" (accompanied by THAT look, if you know what I mean) is possibly because of ASD has been such a relief. I really appreciate how you explain ideas and that there are lots of suggestions for handling issues that are adaptable for our specific experience. Thx again!

[@asha-lily]

OMG I have this!!! I HATE that little red light!! Hahah get it offf!!

[@shga7897]

Body doubling!! It’s amazing there’s a term for that. When you were talking about autistic inertia it occurred to me that that used to be such a problem for me, but not since I’ve been married-it’s SO MUCH EASIER getting ready for bed with someone. But-if I’m ever in the middle of a task and he fully goes to bed before me, I’m doomed. I’ll even think, “oh no he’s almost in bed, I better hurry and catch up to him or I’ll be up until 2.” That mask looked amazing. I’ve slept for years with a buff as an eye mask. Even before I knew I was autistic, I identified that the gentle pressure it placed on my eyes is as important as the black out effect. I can’t sleep without it. Journaling: I made a template in the day one app that allows me to summarize my day easily and thoroughly. It starts with “quick notes” where I list what I read, studied, cleaned, exercise, errands. Then I have the following headings, where I just make quick notes of anything notable: conversations, physical, emotional, mind’s preoccupation, prayer, gratitude. I usually fill it out in ten minutes or less and it’s been so helpful. I feel so relaxed after doing it, and it helps me be recognize how emotions play out in my body, how conversations (or lack of conversations for days on end) impact my emotions-it’s just increased my general self awareness.

[@coffeebeforemascara]

Would you be willing to make that template available publicly? Is that sharable? Highly interested in daily Journaling prompts like this! 👍

[@bolinhong2598]

I used this doc herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it

[@MiljaHahto]

I agree with that "if he fully goes to bed before me". For me the treshold is "if he falls asleep before me" - if my partner is still awake and waiting for cuddles, I try to rush to make it!

[@palomaaviles5998]

My mom told me last year that I was diagnosed with Autism. I'm 27 and I've had challenges with my mental health my entire life. I was in special education classes as a kid. (Idk if people call them that anymore so I'm sorry if that's offensive) but when I was in there no one told me why I switched from my old class. So I didn't think anything of it I just thought I was stupid because other kids always said I was in a class for stupid kids. And I dropped out of school by the time I was 14 and to this day have never returned. I wish I knew earlier so I could've learned how to help myself and tried to seek a therapist sooner. I could have avoided so much pain. I have been loving watching these videos and feeling extremely validated and less lonely in the world. So thanks for the content.

[@wildmoonchild8210]

oh boy, the amount of times I've cried from the overwhelm of the TV being on below my room when I'm trying to sleep. I wish my family was more understanding and let me have a quiet environment at night

[@caritalandsberg6807]

One thing that helps me is the alphabet method... Pick a topic like fruit and vegetables... Then start A- apple B- banana and so forth... Usually I don't get to the end of the alphabet but on bad days I finish and just pick a new topic and never finish the second round. It's like my brain just shuts off. It's the staying asleep that I've been struggling with. My 3year old daughter has to sing herself asleep to be able to sleep😅

[@rainbowconnected]

This works so well! I didn't believe it would work the first time I tried it, but I was amazed.

[@Evilfairy04]

I've had great success with rain sounds. I have adhd as well so I allow about an hour with my phone to just feel tired, while playing the rain sounds playlist. I also have tinnitus so this background noise helps stop that from being noticeable.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Thanks for sharing your tips with us!

[@eliza_kai]

Yes! I have a Nest sound machine that also works for my autistic child

[@louiseyoung1231]

I have CPTSD, but relate in many ways. Taking magnesium at night is super helpful to help me relax and relax my body if I'm struggling with restless legs. I trigger a lot with anxiety at night, so I use my skills to calm myself down. My husband wakes me up with snoring and kicking. I can struggle with getting back to sleep. If I can't, I will sleep downstairs. I also have super vivid dreams or nightmares & that can wake me up and disturb me. If so, I'll use my skills again.

[@philly8184]

I absolutely love Triple calm magnesium on Amazon!!!

[@MiljaHahto]

Have you checked your iron levels? Not just hemoglobin but ferritin levels. There's solid research about the connection between restless legs and deficient ferritin levels - you may need to get it a high as above 70 for it to ease. (Around here the average ferritin is just around 40-50!)

[@barbarascheck6519]

Wow I don't know if I'm autistic, but I can relate to 90% of everything mentioned in this video, especially with transitions and sleep resistance. This video was in my youtube line-up, and since I stay up way too late all the time, I thought I'd check it out. Great info! I'm realizing that my bedtime routine is both exhausting and energizing - just showering, brushing teeth, putting on PJs, but I often wish I could just jump into my bed and sleep. So, duh, I probably need to get my routine started earlier! Also, I have learned that when I'm on a car-camping trip (alone), it's easier to get to sleep earlier and wake up earlier because there's no artificial light and no internet so no screen time. Being in natural light for 4-5 days helps re-set hormones and other brain chemicals. And when at home, I try to remember to dim my lights after sunset, and keep off screens or use blue-blocker glasses/programs on my devices. Too much blue light at night makes your brain think the sun is rising again and messes with your hormones. More sunlight during the daytime helps me sleep better at night too. Crazy complicated bodies we have!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

I like how you phrased it - “exhausting and energizing.” Yep

[@joycebrewer4150]

​@@MomontheSpectrum I like this comment. I can't tell you how often I have gotten sleepy while in my easy chair, only to wake up when I got up to start bedtime routine.

[@bolinhong2598]

I used this doc herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it

[@brittanypratt5919]

@@bolinhong2598interested to hear what herbs he’s using!

[@DhhskkHehdis]

So glad I got the best treatment for my autistic son who is only 4 years old I've been using Dr Oyalo Herbal medicine and it has been really helpful,💯 his speech has improved completely

[@humanwarm]

For years I couldn't sleep. Getting myself to sleep was so complicated, I couldn't stop anything in the middle, every little light bothered me. Family and friends told me to try not to think about anything and not to move. How can you not move and not think at all? It's impossible. Until I was able to sleep I would wake up in the middle of the night and not be able to go back to sleep. Every night I'm sleeptalking and sometimes I also sleepwalk. When I realized I was autistic (in general) it was amazing because all the pieces suddenly fell into place. Today I know to sleep with earplugs and a blindfold, I imagine specific stories and characters before bed and it helps and also makes me look forward to bed and I get into bed before going to sleep and work there to ease the transition.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Thanks so much for sharing your tips here!

[@mazzystarr7078]

I have a hard time getting into deep sleep, the transition from awake to deep sleep is a big issue. And I have such vivid dreams that once I'm really deep, it's hard to come back. Weird.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Interesting!

[@mazzystarr7078]

@@MomontheSpectrum thank you for this discussion, at least I'm not alone in these issues.

[@dawnmulder3540]

YES to all of this!! If I could just go to the bedroom and crawl in bed, I would be asleep earlier, if I wasn’t in the middle the middle of something I couldn’t stop doing. 🙂 And, the bedroom has to be a certain temperature, completely dark, no sound and no touching/snuggling or anything lightly touching my face (sheet, pillowcase, hair). Like sensory deprivation.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Yes!! 🙌🏻

[@writerious]

My sleep issues go back as far as I can remember. My mother always had strict bedtimes for my brothers and I, which didn't vary ever, so in the summer I often had to go to bed when it was still light out. I'd lie there and listen to everyone else watching TV, then my brothers went to bed, then my parents watched the news, and finally they went to bed and the house was quiet and I was alone in the dark. To cope, I made up stories that were usually wrapped around me having adventures with my favorite characters in books or TV shows. I'd sort of dissociate into these fantasy stories, and then the stories merged into dreams. Sometimes. Other times it just got my mind all wound up if the stories were too exciting, and I'd have to stop the story and think of something else. Now, as an adult, it's hard to give myself a strict bedtime even when I need to. It's that transition problem, plus some ADHD time blindness. I need to be in bed by 9:00 because I have to get up early for work? Okay, sure, it's 8:30, I can keep doing what I'm doing. And now it's 9:00 and I should have been getting ready for bed, but I'm still okay, I'll just watch this one three-minute video and now it's 10:30. Again.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

thanks for sharing your experience here

[@lauranilsen8988]

Yes. 🤦🏻‍♀️ Every night I say, “how is it already 2? It was just 12:30 a min ago”.

[@LaurasYouTube]

I had such similar childhood experiences! I had some pretty fantastical recurring storylines. I also remember that when I was very young (4-6?), I often used to cry myself to sleep. My mom heard me one night, tried to comfort me, and asked me why I was crying, and I couldn’t tell her why.

[@Speakup117]

Haven't even watched but reading the comments wow I don't feel so alone. I wake up all the time frustrated and then get more frustrated because I'm too amped to sleep and now tomorrow will be hard cause I'm sleepy...sigh

[@buttercxpdraws8101]

Reading out the comments and giving mentions is a great way to engage your subscribers. I find it really interesting to see the techniques you use to manage your channel as well as appreciate the info you share about autism. The correlation with GI issues and sleep disturbances with autism is a really great point. Get well soon Belfry (hope I got the name right) 😻

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Thanks for the feedback!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Oh and his name is Beltre. It’s SO weird I know. Our daughter named him when she was 3, after her favorite baseball player at the time who she now cares nothing about!

[@buttercxpdraws8101]

@@MomontheSpectrum Cute 😻

[@bolinhong2598]

I used this doc herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it

[@DhhskkHehdis]

So glad I got the best treatment for my autistic son who is only 4 years old I've been using Dr Oyalo Herbal medicine and it has been really helpful,💯 his speech has improved completely

[@MxSae]

I’m not diagnosed with anything but man I didn’t realize I had problems with transition until I watched this video. I’ve been like that my whole life.

[@MattStrom1]

Restless leg is the biggest challenge for me. I am twitching all night. As such, I have been taking Ambien nightly for years now (if you know anything about Ambien, that is not normal). It's the only thing that gives me any relief from RLS. Thank you for mentioning RLS. I have never been able to find much information or studies about RLS and autism, but I knew it had to be common among autistics.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

I was honestly surprised to hear so much about it from the community while I was researching. Very interesting to me, and I wouldn't be surprised at all if it's connected to overstimulation of the nervous system. So sorry you struggle with this. Sounds miserable! My dad has RLS too.

[@thedawnpatrol7139]

RLS is horrible. My cat wouldn't even sleep with me. I take Mirapex which helps tremendously

[@3SeasonsUSA]

Dr Berg on KZbin has something to say that might help. I think our digestive system tends to prevent absorption of certain nutrients. I don't have RLS, but I recall he used to

[@jimwilliams3816]

@@3SeasonsUSA I've wondered about that. I've always thought I had no real digestive issues, but I...process things quickly, and I've thought food must be moving through too fast for optimal nutrient absorption. I'm quite sure it's related to my overactive nervous system. And of course restless leg is one of the long list of things I get (in this case, on and off), that hint at but are not determinative of being on the spectrum. It has the bad taste to show up on some night when my cat decides to sleep with me, and I'm trying to keep the darned thing still. (And yes, my father too.)

[@markp8263]

My RLS was never that bad, but I started using magnesium supplements before bed and this is going to sounds nuts, but I started electrically grounding myself at night. I know it sounds nuts, but I read somewhere it can help you sleep better, so I gave it a try. Got some cheap aluminum tape, put it on the bud (under the sheets) and plugged it in to the ground ($15). It was like a week or two later before I realized that my RLS was mostly gone, the wife noticed it too. Went on a longer vacation (2 weeks), didn't think about it, and by the time I got home things were worse again.

[@annienamaste8283]

Ohh tears in my eyes.. I feel so seen. I think a lot of these issues contribute to poor self esteem as we can get so down on ourselves for not managing to get to bed and sleep like apparently the rest of the world does so easily and expects us to do just as easily.. I've had issues with it for as long as I can remember and have beaten myself up about it for just as long.. I think the transitions one is massive and also the sensory and delayed processing. And also that night time is more sensory friendly with very little light and sound and demands compared to the daytime, so the ND mind is perhaps more comfortable and at ease and better able to think and be awake at night. Thank you for this really important video and your wonderful channel 🦋♾💖

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Absolutely! Great points. Thanks for sharing and glad the video helped you feel seen.

[@stuart959]

Thank you so much for rebalancing the sound and eliminating the brightly colored transitions! It is so much easier to focus without background and transitional music. Thank you! thank you! thank you!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Glad it was helpful! It’s something I’ve been working towards for a while and I’m still learning. Always open to feedback.

[@catherinecummins2847]

Sound is a huge issue for me and in videos, the presenter's voice is crucial. Taylor, your voice fits me to a T😊thank you!

[@jennasink8743]

This video is so relevant for me right now. I am trying to make some positive changes to my routine, but sleep struggles have been tripping me up. I can’t fall asleep, I can’t stay asleep, it’s a whole mess. I’m going to have to take a look at the sleep masks! Also, the breaking things into tiny steps really helps me.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

So glad it is helpful! Thanks for your comment. And I hope you love the sleep mask as much as I do! It’s a part of my routine that almost instantly calms me.

[@skillit32]

I’m with you on the falling asleep and staying asleep issue. The mask with Bluetooth sounds like a great idea, especially with the idea of using white noise.

[@hollyw9566]

I'm SO GLAD I don't have paradoxical reactions to medications. If not for Benadryl and my anxiety meds, I would NEVER sleep, because shutting my brain off is impossible. I can read all night. But reading is absolutely essential for me, it helps me think about something other than what's going on in my head. It's a delicate balance.

[@jimwilliams3816]

Most things apply, though I can’t really figure out where they fit into my neurodivergent profile, if you will. Many I’ve thought of as ADHD related. I appreciate you talking about the central nervous system, because mine has never performed to NT spec, and whatever else I am, that’s a core feature of my being ND. I need to work through comments and see what others have said about response to meds or similar, because the thing that tracks best with ADHD and sleep for me is that I’ve responded decently to meds that help quiet my mind and help me fall asleep. I can often fall asleep pretty quickly thanks to one, which I have never done. That said, waking in the middle of the night and processing is still a big problem. As is my amygdala getting it’s way with me while my PFC is offline. I’ve always had the “can’t respond right in real time/ruminating-reviewing later” issue, but in my case if I process in the evening that will wake me up big time. Same with journaling, I just found. Moving slowly is something I've taken up, though I still always bristle at the term “mindfulness,” and I am finally realizing it’s partly because I perceive it as a demand, I am certainly PDAish. By the same token, doing bed prep using muscle memory and habit will keep my mind from going hyperactive better than thinking about the steps, at least when I can pull it off.

[@nee-na6874]

Its SO hard... 65°, shop fan on speed 2, Howard Leight ear plugs, certain pillow, certain covers, stuffed animal adapted, certain PJs, etc etc etc etc etc... plus I have gastro issues and chronic joint pain so its hard to get in a comfortable position, also panic and anxiety and PTSD, and I don't have control over the housing because its not my home. So I rarely get any good quality sleep. And I can't take drugs either. I have to start before 8pm just to get ready to get in bed. Also I live in a high stress dysfunctional family environment. I'm 67 and my Aspie grandson is 14, so I don't feel like I am alone with these difficulties, he has a hard time too here. I'm always working on trying to find things to improve my body, mind, life in general. Thank you for sharing your life experience 💖

[@whitneymason406]

I'm hypersensitive to sound so earplugs have been so helpful. My son is struggling to fall asleep ever since the holidays. We've used melatonin in the past but I don't want to rely on it. He's also hypersensitive to sound but too young for earplugs. Hypermobility causes me pain in my hips and getting comfortable is hard. It's tough so thanks for tackling the topic! 💞

[@laurenhebert4245]

I got really sick with a respiratory virus over the holidays and my earplugs started to irritate my ears so bad they hurt too much to leave in…I’m hoping they’re healed up now so I can try again tonight. 😢 I love my earplugs.

[@laurenhebert4245]

Oh I didn’t even finish reading that you have hypermobility too. I have undiagnosed Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. My oldest daughter is in the process of getting diagnosed. I wonder if hypersensitivity to sound is related.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

@@laurenhebert4245 i hope you feel better!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

@@laurenhebert4245 interesting idea about the connection! 🤔

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Hyper mobility does sound very difficult to deal with at night!

[@IceNixie0102]

It's the first autism thing I DON"T HAVE. I have several chronic diseases/disabilities, and am ALWAYS tired. I get into my pajamas literally the minute I walk in the door from work. I can (and do) fall asleep at the drop of a hat. I do sleep best (my bedroom is set up for) complete darkness, with Loona sleep app giving me either quiet music or a soft story to fall asleep to - something to focus on so my mind isn't racing.

[@Wyldyflower]

This is so interesting to me. I’m just now realizing all the things I do and why I do them. It’s like wow okay this all makes sense now. And this video just makes me laugh a little because, my go to bed routine is so true with many of these. If it does not go as planned I do not sleep right away or not at all. I find when I’m dealing with insomnia really bad sometimes I just have to have everything off have my dogs with me and basically tell a story to myself in my head to fall asleep. Like I will make up stories until I am sleeping. If i keep my phone on i will not sleep at all. It has to stay on my table.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

thanks for your comment lacey! Glad you're here and I hope that the video helped you understand some of your challenges a little bit more! Or feel less alone. 💓

[@Torby4096]

Diagnosed in my late 50's. Even as a small boy, I realized that I had a lot of inertia. I must go to sleep sometime in the night, because I wake up.

[@BeeWhistler]

Years and years ago I was given a “mild sedative” in the hospital had a panic attack. It was like it suppressed whatever I was using to handle the situation and left me exposed. And journaling winds me up. So does conversation.

[@rachelmitchell2144]

Same with journaling! It helps and hinders. It helps process, but then can kick my brain into high gear.

[@3SeasonsUSA]

Ohhh! Glad for the warning. I forgot that about myself. It brings up too many memories. I have heard that journaling in the morning is also great, before you are too much awake and your subconscious is telling you things, before coffee.

[@pyotrpustota1053]

Same here on both accounts. Anti-anxiety medication causing anxiety 🙄

[@otterwench]

I can't sleep without reading BUT never anything new. I have to carefully choose a book i have read before. The rhythm of the storylines i have enjoyed before really helps distract that part of my mind that otherwise will be seeking out stimulation. If i read a new book, i never get sleepy enough. I stay up until the book is fi ished and then i still need to quiet my mind before i can sleep.

[@Emma.H06]

Omg I never knew that paradoxical reaction to Melatonin could be related to autism… i would have full blown panic attacks or meltdowns from how absolutely uncomfortably restless I would become when taking melatonin. It would feel like my whole body was squirming from the inside and my skin was crawling. This was super helpful to learn, thank you!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

you're welcome! I know, I remember my psychologist telling me this about paradoxical reactions and I was like WHAT?! WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THIS? Explains so much. 💗

[@bolinhong2598]

I used this doc herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it

[@sonyagibbens2182]

I recently got a weighted eye mask. I don't know what I would do without it! I also have to listen to "sound" to sleep. 4-7hz works really well for me. I also really enjoy 110hz, I can feel the vibrations in the sound throughout my body, which feels sort of like a special kind of stim. I love a fan on my face. My husband and I have a tempurpedic split king bed that we purchased almost a year ago, and it made a HUGE difference. I can't share covers with him. We can snuggle, (not too much - it makes it harder to fall asleep), but then he is literally on his bed, and I have my bed. The vibration function helps. And being able to move it into a position other than flat is helpful. But the transition to get into bed is extremely difficult. Thank you for this video! ❤

[@MomontheSpectrum]

You're welcome! And thank you for sharing your tips as well! These are very helpful.

[@headgieslife4177]

Oh my gosh...YES!!! I rarely sleep. My mind goes on and on. I'm laying on the couch now (where I often sleep) and watching these videos as I have to wind down my brain. I often fall asleep on the couch and then go to bed. The process of brushing teeth and removing clothes and any wrinkle/sand/fuzzy literally ANYTHING on my sheets stop me from sleeping. I am so exhausted when we travel as it isn't my routine or space or whatever. The night time is my calm down/alone time as my husband gets up super early and often times I'm going to bed once he gets up at 3:30 am. I too once I'm up, I'm up; no matter how much sleep I've gotten.

[@tamaradavis2276]

I remember getting sick as a young adult and using Nyquil for the first time. About an hour after taking it and going to bed I woke up with the bed spins, wide awake and nauseous. I tried it again years later with the same result. Never again. 16:30 Hi kitty!

[@laurenhebert4245]

Same here. Makes my insomnia so much worse and gives me restless legs as well.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

I am very sensitive to most meds and I tend to have more side effects than others do.

[@anacastillo9247]

😮I definitely struggle going to bed in a timely manner. And I hang out in the car before going in the car, and like wearing my earbuds as ear protection.

[@MakeYourLifeaWorkofArt]

Omg this video made me feel so much less alone 😭 my whole life has finally imploded once I can’t mask anymore, and I’ve finally lost the energy to “pretend” I’m just “fine”. I was homeless, I’ve ruined my business, lost ALL my friends, became a victim of a narcissist in a romantic relationship… I don’t know how I’m still alive, but being aware of this and getting professional help is putting me on a better track. I’ve been so scared to stand up for my true self, but it’s getting better. Thank you!!!!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

You're welcome. And thank you for sharing some of your journey here. I'm so sorry to hear about what you've gone through. Narcissistic abuse is an awful experience with lots of long term effects that can be confusing to navigate. Give yourself so much grace and patience. So glad you are finding things that help you feel more supported and less alone.

[@MakeYourLifeaWorkofArt]

@@MomontheSpectrum yes! And today I finally organized myself with any assessments I’ve found to talk to my psychiatrist about it, so we’re making a plan to help me integrate into the world easier. The meltdowns and inability to understand how neurotypical people act in the world has been so mentally exhausting for so long. I’m so thankful we have a place to share these days!

[@chickadee893]

Oh my goodness, the paradoxical reactions thing was so crazy to hear! I have that happen with Benadryl. Sometimes instead of making me sleepy, it makes me really keyed up. It can feel like anxiety or panic, or can cause restless leg. That’s interesting that it’s common in asd

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Yes! Isn't it wild? When my psychologist told me that I was like WHAT?!?! Why is no one talking about this?

[@LaurasYouTube]

Hmm… I have the opposite with Benadryl - I’m too sensitive to it! I take less than half the children’s dose (I’m not small, either). The adult dose would definitely be an overdose for me.

[@ellenoregaard7394]

Not diagnosed yet, but I’m wondering if anyone else can’t fall asleep if you’re physically touching someone or they’re touching you. Spooning is a no-go. I’ll be up all night.

[@timpeters7852]

Normally, once I lie down here's very little that will impede my sleep. However my mind will randomly dig up moments where I feel i mishandled a social interaction. This will keep me up all night going through the dialogue over and over not coming to any conclusions.

[@leafbladed]

i took melatonin for two months and it didn't make me sleepy a single day. in the middle of it i randomly listened to a podcast episode where the host said he slept through a like 7.5 earthquake with a smaller dose of melatonin than i was taking. i felt so so so frustrated because i had read so many instances of autistic people's insomnia being magically cured with melatonin, and for two weeks i was actualle hyperactive at night right after taking it. so glad it's being researched, i'm gonna look more into it because it sounds fascinating, even though it's an exhausting thing to experience

[@MomontheSpectrum]

yes i have been so frustrated about it, too, because I know some people who take it and pass out with a deep night of sleep. I've never had that experience with it.

[@mch1811]

Thank you for this. Feel seen and understand now that I can be kinder to myself when I experience autistic inertia around bedtime. I get so frustrated with myself! Also, massive fan of the eyemask, earplugs, white noise and electric bed sheet on cool over here! Have recently started sleeping separately to my husband and it has been an absolutely game changer for both sleep and intimacy. Highly recommend.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Oh great suggestion! I appreciate you sharing it here. Thanks Mischa.

[@3SeasonsUSA]

I agree, after years of marriage and suffering the snoring issue. Also, when they move around, turn over, get up to the bathroom.

[@heedmydemands]

I feel bad because I'm pretty sure I'm terribly annoying to sleep with lol. I go to the bathroom like a million times and do toss and turn a bit too. Sometimes I apologize but my husband doesn't even notice lol. It certainly is hard sometimes to get a good rest with someone else in the bed

[@bolinhong2598]

I used this doc herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it

[@DhhskkHehdis]

So glad I got the best treatment for my autistic son who is only 4 years old I've been using Dr Oyalo Herbal medicine and it has been really helpful,💯 his speech has improved completely

[@chesneymigl4538]

I love your videos. It makes sense now why I sit in the car after work playing on my phone rather than driving home. It feels like too much energy to do.

[@rkgomes3875]

I never knew there was a word for what I find helpful for myself! BODY-DOUBLING!!! Yes! Just having someone sort of ‘bearing witness’, if you will helps me TREMENDOUSLY especially with transitions, etc. I love it!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

So glad!

[@rachaelahern-ro8fs]

Some things i find help is sleeping on a towel because its like.. prickly but in a good way, so I dont feel each little crumb or fabric pill on the bed, and also just giving myself permission to have a seperate bedroom. My husband has ADHD and uses a CPAP, and we are also both overweight so we run HOT. So basically sleeping in the same bed is a sensory hellscape 😂😂 i resisted the seperate bedroom thing because i thought it might affect our intimacy etc but it hasnt at all. I think we like eachother more now because we are not both exhausted and grumpy all the time!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Thanks so much for sharing this! And that’s so interesting about the towel.

[@HH-ig3ck]

Hi Taylor, thanks for this. I've learnt how important it is to move. I get stuck and find making food or going for a walk impossible so rely on a lot of help from my partner. It means I can go days without leaving the house and I find getting myself to do yoga, even though I enjoy it, can be mostly impossible.

[@MoodyAby]

I feel the same about yoga. I LOVE it! It makes me feel so much better! But can I get started? Can I even start with 10 minutes a day? It's so difficult even though I know I will feel so much better; during and afterwards.

[@lauranilsen8988]

I looove being in the garden and have so much to do out there but get stuck inside some days and get so upset when I realize I never made it out there.

[@bolinhong2598]

I used this doc herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it

[@kimili1989]

oh my g**! I've been strulelin soooo hard to being able to sleep for as long as I can remember. The part about médication and paradoxal effects of certain drugs is so so true for me! I'm in the dignosis process at the moment an I really didn't know until now that it is in deed a thing for an autistic person to have such issues with medication. Talking from experience: I was prescribed a "serotonin based antidepressant" and I had the WORST paradoxal effect (my psychiatrist actually used that particular word !) possible, left me nearly traumatised! thanks for your video, very enlightening!

[@sixbirdsinatrenchcoat]

I was diagnosed autistic and adhd a few months ago, at age 40. I have really twitchy, “buzzing” legs, especially at bed time. I found that taking a supplement of magnesium and/or zink can really help. Just be aware that magnesium can have a laxative effect as well. Also, a little bit of hard exercise can help calm hyperactive muscles before sleep. I like to do 10 or 12 squats with a heavy dumbell and then stretch. 2. I get a paradoxical effect from the antidepressant (specifically for seasonal depression) Agomelatine. It has one of those “do not operate heavy machinery” warnings and you are advised to absolutely only take it at night. If I do that … yea, I’m not sleeping.

[@crystald3655]

Sounds like me. Benadryl for example makes me hyper and I was warned about Wellbutrin being stimulating but it knocked me out.

[@KMx108]

I have the twitchy, buzzing legs while resting also. I found 1g of folate, in addition to magnesium, to be really helpful with calming that down.

[@alexandratremayne8448]

I am new to autism for myself and the transition inertia just hit a nail on the head so hard... 🤯 - how did I not see it??! I tend to skip some of the bedtime routine and just go to bed... and that's because I suffer with chromic pain - it's more important to me to find a comfortable position, and get the right sensory levels than perform any self care. Thankfully for me my husband's presence is comforting!

[@bolinhong2598]

I used this doc herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it

[@johnzimpelman9018]

After taking years of "Benzos" for my anxiety and sleep I finally quit using them five years ago which correlated with my diagnosis I found that Valerian Root Extract works for severe insomnia. I tried Melatonin many decades ago and it was ineffective as well. I just reduce the noise and light before I actually try to sleep and having the company of my cat greatly helps!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Thanks for sharing about the Valerian root!

[@lauranilsen8988]

Yes! I’ve used that too and mix it with other herbs like Passion flower and chamomile (in a tea).

[@CanCricket12345]

Holy moly. I’ve suspected for a while that I’m autistic. In the 80s, when I was going through school as a young person, people just weren’t diagnosed, particularly girls. I’m such an expert masker that I don’t even know who I am. But… wow. I had no idea my issues with severe restless leg syndrome, sleep problems, and gastrointestinal issues were related to autism. And I have exactly the same reaction to things, like melatonin, that are supposed to me make sleepy… they just make my mind race. I’m so glad I discovered your channel. ❤

[@AJansenNL]

This video explains so much. I already had an inkling, but I'm only just realising I might be autistic (after 50 years), so this is really validating. I'm going to experiment with lavender oil. I bought a necklace with an diffuser hanger, so I can surround myself with this soothing smell all night.

[@jrosebud2021]

I am also discovering this after 50! Everything is making so much sense about myself!

[@MoodyAby]

I am 48, and I've been wondering since my daughter was diagnosed at age 7 (she's 15 now). My son (13) also has Autism. And I wonder about my husband too!

[@dreamarcher4018]

@@MoodyAby I am not diagnosed but am pretty sure I am I also think my highly strung Daughter and anti social son are plus my husband! I think we gravitate towards one another. I have just after 68 years found a true female friend who I suspect is also on the spectrum. My whole immediate family constantly misunderstands one another and my daughter thinks we are toxic. I now realize we are just different and most very likely on the spectrum. I have restless legs, can’t stop talking, have “special” interests bad sleep patterns, non stop mind noise and ear worm music in my head plus tinnitus for over 40 years! And they all wonder why I am stressed.

[@VideoChasca]

The "everything has to be right" part went to a whole next level once I started sleeping with a free willed cat that I need on my face.

[@rrebecca3149]

I am on the road to self diagnosis and the first three points I didn't really feel like they applied to me but then I looked back in time. And it just blew me away. When I was in 6th grade I would get up an hour earlier than needed to read a book. For a long time I had to be in bed by 9:30 pm. As in start brushing my teeth at 9:15 to 9:20pm and it would work out. Then it settled down, however I just knew that I needed 8 hours of sleep or more. Heavy blankets: Was visiting my grandma over New Year's and I just couldn't sleep that well and tried out my mum's blanket when she left earlier. Got out of that bed after approximately one hour and just went to the okay setup that I had. The next night I slept in the bed with my heavier blankets and it worked out better. At home I use two blankets, one of them yak wool which I'll get off me during sleep. I recently moved out from my parents and at first it was difficult to get to sleep because of the different noise levels, and the light of the oven that I can't turn off. What has helped me fall asleep over the past few years is to have a scenario - with a few variations and it is absolutely unrealistic - that I play every night. Keeps my mind off all the embarassing things from the past 10 years that my brain would otherwise put on repeat for me.

[@Serenity_yt]

Same I also play szenarios in my head before bed time they can even be relativly realistic for a while I really struggled with MaDD so its kind of a leftover from that. And I cant ever sleep without my blanket I have a really heavy one and a thin summer one and it's always a struggle to transition to the summer blanket even though I know Ill sweat to death otherwise. What also really helped is a retainer I never had braces but I do have bruxism so it's a protection for my teeth but it helps so much biting down and releasing or just kinda dragging my teeth over it I just cant sleep without it now and I don't get Killer neckpain anymore. Although setting a time to go to sleep is just impossible for me I work in a 3 shift system so my sleep time changes all the time as long as Im putting my retainer in Im good to though If I also brush my teeth before Ill call it a win. Just now listening crumbs und some sheet fabrics are big no no though same as another person in the same bed or a to hot room temp. But my bed is my space even during the day at least when Im at home it's hard to relax and wind down in any other space (sometimes the Couch if it's right atm)

[@normantouchet4185]

Thank you, help me see I'm not the only one, How can I live 58 years without anyone , seeing I'm this way all my life. Reading wakes me up.

[@Fred-ff6bv]

i was diagnosed at 37 i am now 46. i find that i fight sleep in a similar way to babies and young children.

[@Brfreud3]

Thank you sooooooooo soooo much🥹 Beginning journey here❤️🤗

[@KatrinaM1234]

Rhodiola is a supplement that is supposed to help energize people and help them be more productive. For myself, it helps the brain turn off the "extra activity" so I can focus on sleeping.

[@loridenise5639]

I do a few things that help. Maybe they will help someone reading? When I’m laying down, trying to sleep, I first do slow, deep breathing through my nose. Then I connect with my body, while trying to feel really relaxed and connected, paying attention to the sensations in my body, instead of the thought in my mind. Then, I go into an imaginary “brain room” where I visualize the room & I visualize myself getting “healing treatments” that make me feel relaxed and tired. The pretend treatments I get are IV’s, special teas, supplements, etc. I see myself getting these things until I fall asleep. The other thing I do is I visualize about the life I do want instead of thinking about what went on in the past or what I have to do in the future. These may sound weird, but they do work fairly well. Not every night. But they do help. And they are 100% natural!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

These are great! Thanks so much for sharing.

[@hannahreynolds179]

I need to get one of those masks for my husband. He needs total darkness and I like light and the TV. Maybe I won't end up on the sofa so much!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

I hope you love it as much as I do!

[@BrookieHearts13]

omg yes for the brown noise. I've never heard anyone else say they prefer brown noise but its just the right amount of noisy and static-y but soft enough that it doesn't make my skin itch.

[@bananas1425]

You Taylor are simply amazing! No one in my surroundings, not the health care, not my family etc - has helped me more to understand and accept myself - you give me so much insight on myself and give me more love toward myself. I cannot thank you enough! I share your words and your wisdom with anyone who I think might need it. You are a godsend 🙏🏻 I think you understand when I write especially when you are vulnerable. Not that I ever wish you struggles, ever. But it comforts to know that even someone so insightful can become “un-glued” because it’s Part of our dna and who we are ❤️

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Thank you so much for your kind comment and taking the time to share this with me. I'm glad you're part of the community here.

[@Yoonjiyoonsstrawberry]

I have high functioning autism and adhd, going to bed is literally the hardest part of my day. My brain thinks that if I go to bed I'm not actually tired and I don't have to sleep so I stay up sometimes really late and can't wake up the next day. Also my emotions distract my sleep.

[@jamesnicoll8415]

For me it’s getting up and going in the morning but I’ve also always been very aware of not wanting to go to bed either. I just can’t make the transition to bed even although I love my bed and as I’ve said, I find it difficult getting up in the morning. This video has hit it on the head. It’s all about transitioning! Wow 😮. Thanks.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

You’re welcome! Thanks for your comment.

[@MiljaHahto]

One thing I try to do is making stuff in advance. Like, cleaning off any makeup way before bedtime, (it actually also helps me relax), and packing my bag and lunch for the next day early - sometimes as soon as I get home from work. Then at bedtime I only have the minimum left: some snack while updating my calendar (may include journalling, but even just the calendar helps me turn off my brain), washing my teeth and taking meds, and then just clothes off and to bed.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

ATTENTION: MOMONTHESPECTRUM code glitch is now fixed! Thanks for your patience. You can now enter this code at checkout for 10% off. Please use the link in the description.

[@barbyoungberg]

Blackout blinds with blackout curtains for starters. Moonlight wakes me up along with any little noise like my husband breathing. My bedtime routine follows with my husband's routine so getting to bed is not a problem. Getting my brain to shut off is the problem. My Dad use to say he was tired in the morning because he was working all night. I totally understand and conclude that both of us are undiagnosed autistic people.