How to Heal From Abandonment Trauma

Whether it's a breakup, divorce, rejection, passive aggressive avoidance, family separation, a neglectful family member, an absent parent, a disloyal friend, or even being fired from or turned down for a job, abandonment trauma is a near universal experience that we will all go through at times in our life. Even the passing of a loved one can leave us feeling abandoned.
It's just part of the deal with living on this planet. People will be hurt, they will hurt others, they will hurt us, and we too will at times unintentionally hurt others. People in their pain are unable to be there for the people they love and care about. People unhealed can't show up for others with the kindness and compassion to help them heal. When we are suffering immensely, we pull away, we retreat, and we try to hide our pain from the world but only end up abandoning everyone we love. Unconsciously, we want to bring people down to our level, and so the cycle of pain continues.
But, we can break that cycle. We can stop spinning that wheel of pain. We can heal and heal others. We can create those spaces for our loved ones to feel secure so that no one we care about feels abandoned ever again. We can understand that when people withdrawal, it has nothing to do with us and we can remain peaceful and loving. In today's KZbin video, I talk about how to heal, how to help others, and how to stop letting other people's wounds wound you.
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[@oldogshudnobetter498]

Once again, you hit so close to home. Your wisdom shines light on all willing to listen.

[@paulbolton2322]

All betrayal trauma institutional, family, or friends is a cut to one's very soul. To forgive & recover & still help others with meaning makes sense. & I plan to make it happen 👍

[@julietfenner7286]

The more and more I understood my parents lives in all their detail and pain, I understood why they were the way they were. It took me years to let go of my feelings of abandonment. I am so much happier as I understand the flawed human description of humans. I have experienced many close people's deaths and have found the differences that each death brings. As I continue to grow with compassion I find that the relationship I have had with a deceased close person continues to change and grow within me. So even in death there is learning to be had in the living. Thank you Todd for your power of communication and the love you show in sharing your truth. When one begins to grow there is no turning back. I am so pleased I pained enough to find a better way of understanding life and death which I am hurdling towards.🎉

[@Janet-xw7du]

Wow Juliet!! Your response to Todd’s video is as powerful as his video. Thank you!!❤‍🩹💖

[@susanwood829]

Thank you Todd Like an answer to prayer or even some kind of divine synchronicity - your video came up when I most needed it and imagine for countless others too. Your words are beautiful and a great comfort x

[@ToddPerelmuter]

Glad it was helpful! 🙏🏼

[@melissatoni8633]

“There is an infinite wellspring of strength within each and every one of us.” ❤ Beautifully said, and as a personal practice, I find it important to always stay connected and tapped into this strength.

[@annekathleen4498]

I was abandoned by my father when I was six. He dumped me with his neighbours and I lived next door to him for 2 1/2 years until he moved half a mile away.

[@traceyomalley3797]

Forgiveness is the way forward thankyou Todd you always have grwat messages..blessings Namaste 🙏🏻 💚

[@goodlife5D]

I love the way you say "we"🎉😢

[@evieraine7135]

This spoke to me in ways I can not speak .I fell into a big dark whole over Xmas in complete despair in humanity . The selfishness and the self centeredness i was witnessing . Bout I reflected on my own states over the years. Now after years on the spiritual path I know i need to deepen my compassion even more. May every being have peace love and happiness including myself . I have been so abandoned in life but I can still love and forgive. Thank you from my heart for this video that i am watching on my retreat with my dog from the world

[@melissatoni8633]

This is beautiful work. Your genuine heart and wisdom always shines through. End of life realizations always help me out with this kind of big stuff, with both letting go AND pulling those meaningful people in. I wonder if anyone else has these. Tonight, I had one about my boyfriend-a mental vision of him old saying how he always knew I loved him even though I put him on the back burner. That end of life realization helped me balance back what’s most important, opening my heart a bit more toward him and the present moment. Great points with: 1) The importance and serious care of abusive-tie let-goes 2) The importance and LOVE in allowing yourself and others the time to recharge/self-care 3) Understanding and opening within, to let go of fear, and in fact welcome (rather than resist) these natural flows

[@natureisallpowerful]

Forgiveness is the key.

[@derrickmcwaid8217]

I really enjoyed this video. This was my situation a year ago after my separation. You can find strength in yourself. Even if it seems dark. The light will shine again. ❤ Thanks Todd.

[@marypaulosky2214]

So beautiful and timely. We warriors of love continue to evolve toward our mission of healing the world. Todd - your voice calms and centers me. You're one of my favorite teachers.

[@flyingrhinofilms]

This struck so many chords....lovely 🙏

[@user-mo8ou6cv6e]

Much love to you too ❤

[@lisalarson8889]

That was so beautiful . I love starting my day listening to a video of yours. This really spoke to me and i’m Grateful I came upon it . Thank~you for sharing your enlightenment 🌅

[@ToddPerelmuter]

Glad it was helpful!

[@sidoughty428]

Much Love to you also. And Peace Love and thanks for your kind words and encouragement.

[@bobreemsnyder5540]

Amen ! Thanks

[@user-uv4nh3ry4l]

So glad I found you on you tube Todd you have been a gt comfort to me ,as my partner bwants to end our relationship and its breaking my heart Sometimes I feel strong but mostly not Anyway I fly out next week so that will be the last time I see him I will keep watching and listening and try and move on Thank you Todd everything you say makes sense ❤

[@SeattleGirlMakesGood]

Breaking these cycles by beginning the honest healing within ourselves. I especially love this talk. It's more like prayer, a mantra. It's a wonderful idea for this New Year. Thank-you ❤

[@jia-yuyang5721]

Thank you so much for the message❤️ Really needed to hear those, especially today🙏🏼

[@katiepougher734]

Another inspiring video showing understanding of abandonment from all angles..thank.u

[@paulasalladay2722]

What I needed at this time. Thanks for all your insights.

[@janhvibreath]

Needed this

[@Janet-xw7du]

Beautiful!! Your words so benefited me today. I so resonated with EVERYTHING you said. Thank you

[@JoSpring]

Have I told you I love you lately?

[@lyncorrin]

beautiful and so much needed love your work, thank you, thankyou, thankyou ❤❤❤

[@sabinamock4799]

Thank you for your wisest words.

[@katrinawilson935]

Really needed to hear this today. Thank you❤

[@tarawilliams2484]

Truth

[@faridabedrabbo1544]

Hello from Perú

[@mariaapisa1993]

When we loose someone and is still alive - is like a Death...maybe , even worse because is done by choice.

[@Aquachick65]

A timely message. Thank you 🙏❤️

[@BATgirl57]

I loved this video so much! Where is this beautiful place? Thank you Todd🙏 Much love to you❤️

[@ToddPerelmuter]

It's Thailand ❤️

[@noellefinn8255]

❤❤❤

[@jitskewadman5825]

❤

[@Sage555n]

The message was excellent today. However; I find that the rolling photographs uploaded here of an eastern country where you probably visited and lived albeit temporarily, is a huge distraction because you live in New York! WHY you choose NOT to showcase your true home environment is still a mystery. You would benefit by showing your REAL-TRUE home environment instead of images from your past. Please consider it.

[@ettecram]

What is wrong and distracting by seeing beautiful views? Would the site of a mass of buildings, traffic, people etc etc be more conducive to absorbing Todd s wisdom? Peace to you ❤

[@ElisPalmer]

🌟🩵🌟

[@Sage555n]

Todd, would you consider revealing your own personal life experiences related to abandonment trauma instead of speaking in generalities about it? Everything is a 'teachable moment' and YOUR personal life experince story... would be a benefit to those that need to hear it. General philosophic principles have their place, but not like the REAL story!

[@KikiGmz]

Jesus is King 👑 17:13