How to Help a Loved One with an Addiction | Loving An Addict, Loving Yourself

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lovewithboundaries.com australiacounselling.com.au Do you know what to do if you have a loved one in the grips of addiction? During a recent interview with Clinton Power, I shared my insight, as an Addictions Counsellor who counsels the loved ones and family of addicts.

[@td05771]

I love someone very much who has unhealthy habits and addictions. I'm very sad about ending the relationship, but I feel it's out of my hands. He's ignoring me now, I dream of him and can only pray for him. :'(

[@its_miriamdawg]

It’s so hard to be with someone with an addiction. It’s sad. I finally left after 6 years. It’s heartbreaking.

[@audoremus]

Thank you for this. Very timely.

[@lindahowell4018]

I understand your pain

[@Shodeen1]

Thank you so much! We need more education

[@tersiabeukes6680]

Its really hard because in South Africa, there are so many who want to come out of addiction...but the rehabs are so expensive..it is not possible for them to go there..and the other that they say can help..of the state..you just go on long list..and if you look at just how our hospitals look, you can know...there is no help for that..its really sad...and there is hundreds of deallers who stand in the street with that rubich to young people..and mess up there lifes..

[@CandacePlattor]

I'm sad it's so hard for you there, Tersia.

[@amberscott576]

What I really liked is that I can take an active role in MY recovery from the addict. I live with a high functioning meth user, who hid it well, until my detective skills proved my gut feelings about something being off, were right. Then I couldn’t figure out why the stupid habit continued after my lectures, I became increasingly angry that I was so gullible, resentment, shame of my choice in men, jealousy of “normalcy “... leading me for answers on a productive solution to end my crazy cycle of mood swings and insecurity. I like that I can be nicer to myself validated that his addiction is something I need to recover from and love love love that my results will be a direct reflection of my actions

[@melissastafford508]

DVD dcxxxxxxxxxxcccc

[@sherrijohnson9692]

I started implementing these boundaries...and the addict I loved punished me for it. He died not speaking to me. Even that was my fault. I still love him...and I have to forgive him for his last round of punishment.

[@CandacePlattor]

Hi Sherry - I'm so sad that it happened this way for you - and glad that you can see it as the manipulation it seemed to be. Please be gentle with yourself and take as good care of yourself that you can.

[@sherrijohnson9692]

One day at a time Candace. I am taking care of myself. Our last fight was about using. He was given 6 months to a year to live with esophageal cancer and still wanted his crack. He said to me..."Don't tell my sister I am using it would kill her" That made me very angry...not only did he ask me to lie...he disregarded how it made me feel. I told him a million times that I did not want to be around him when he was using and he still expected me to enable him to kill himself sooner. Frankly...I really did not care too much about what it would do to his sister given the fact that she handed him money constantly to feed his addiction. He is gone now and I am sure he is finally free from the noose around his neck. It is just too bad that he had to die to finally hit bottom. I learned a lot from him...and I will always love him for that. If anyone has someone they love in active addiction...don't give them money...or do anything for them. It may seem cruel but...so is death. If you continue to enable...the addiction WILL NOT STOP.

[@CandacePlattor]

@@sherrijohnson9692 Addiction is such a difficult thing to deal with, and your son't illness and his determination to continue to use made it so much worse. I understand your frustration and heartbreak - and I'm hoping you're finding a way to move forward.

[@mtinsfsd]

Candace, if the addict has a warrant out for failing to continue with coda-phone, should a loved one turn them in?

[@ashleykent8832]

Guys.. I’m an addict. I spent more than half my life addicted to opioids. I haven’t taken a pill in about 7 years BUT I’ve been on suboxone. So I’ve stopped one addiction for a less dangerous addiction. But I can maintain a lifestyle and I don’t know how much more I can do right now. And I’ve got a way bigger problem now- About 3 years ago I tried Meth for the first time- at 31 years old. I’m 33 years old now and managed to dip in and out without any major materialistic loss. However, I damaged my mental state for life and ruined my marriage. We were both getting high and new to the game. The devil in meth is a real thing. It did something to us y’all.. I swear it did. Anyway- we got lucky and got out. We look at each other differently and the deep love is lost because of the things we thought was reality then. But we aren’t giving up. Now my big problem is this. I new back when I tried it that my mom had been messing with it. But we don’t live near each other and I had no idea how deep she was. I just left her house In KS and on my way home to Texas. She’s gone, she’s 10 years in and nobody else in our fam are addicted to it or understand it. They’re all clean. So nobody is holding her accountable. Or noticing what other users notice. I’m sick, she’s like 99 lbs and looks 30 years older than she did 10 years ago. She’s ridding on the high horse- like she’s not doing anything wrong. The lies, the manipulation, the way she’s so good at being the victim, the way she’s thrown both myself and little brother under the. Is when her husband found a massive amount of meth in their home. She let him throw her 18 year old son out and blame him for the dope. Her husband makes bookoo bucks! I mean he’s like a top dog for ConocoPhillips and brings home over 200k a year and doesn’t have a dime for a pack of cigarettes... she wipes him out all the time every chance she gets. I decided to start pushing a little about rebab and she is of course acting like she doesn’t have a problem. She’s so oblivious to everything that’s destroying our family every day. so I’m scared that she’s chosen the meth over everything else. Please someone send advice. [e-mail]

[@AYe-ly2yo]

It's very obvious to me that you are obsessed over your mom's addiction while you should be working on your own addiction.

[@monicapyle]

Work on your sobriety first