How to Ignore Narcissists the Wrong/Right Way When Living w Them

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#narcissisticabuse #cptsd #codependency #toxicrelationships #lifecoach

[@annandall9118]

Covert narcs are the hardest to deal with because they invalidate you in very subtle ways. Also, their timing is usually impeccable. They seem to know the exact moment to deliver their poison to catch you unawares. I've known quite a few of them over the years 🤣

[@roxanneschmidt8192]

If that isn’t the truth !! Highly agree !!!!!!

[@sarahw7616]

Horrible. After dealing with a covert narcissist brother who abused me for years and my family enabled him, I went NC. He can abuse them if they love him so much. They can enable their own abuse. Narcissists watch you so they abuse you at your most vulnerable moment. Disturbing people.

[@stylist62]

Yes extremely damaging painful😢

[@sblong07]

I’m so lucky my narc soon-to-be ex husband lives 60 miles away. My No-contact is working so well. I’ve blocked him fully. I don’t even work with him on the divorce proceedings. He has to go through my lawyer! He has tried everything: Hoovering, flying monkeys, tears, promises. I took my freedom back by setting very hard boundaries ! I’ve been sober for 7 very difficult weeks ! I’m giving my self the respect I deserve to grieve and move on the healthy way. He lives in hell already because his narc mother still lives with him. 😂😂😂😂

[@sylviaking8866]

Well done. I am in the process of doing exactly the same thing.

[@astrialindah2773]

You got this girl...!

[@gate7551]

I did this as well 2020

[@jolyn841]

I think it is especially hard with a narcissistic mother, because one can fall into the "If my own mother doesn't love me, I must be unlovable" pattern of thinking. Just realizing that she is a narcissist is a huge step. I'm going to try your suggestion, hope it works. Thanks!

[@gracebe235]

@jolyn841……Yes, I’ve done that. But what made it more believable, was that my father had nothing to do with me, and I no longer have anything to do with my narcissistic psychopathic siblings either. It also doesn’t help that there had been a string of friends since childhood, that turned on me too. I had looked at each situation individually, look at what I did and what they did, and if I am honest with myself, I attracted a mess of narcissists in my life. Explains why it seems like everyone abused me….then left me. But when it is a majority of people who have done this to me, it’s very easy to look at myself and say that I MUST be the messed up person in all of this….I must be ‘unloveable’. I am approaching my relationships much differently now. I don’t assume that the other person is an open book and is as friendly as they appear. No. I have my guard up much higher now. Oh, I’m still polite and friendly, but not so forth-coming with personal details about myself anymore….as these are things that abusive, narcissistic people keep a mental checklist of…..to use against you later. I wonder if there are more narcissists than empaths anymore? Sure seems like I have been out-numbered most of my life! I have ONE really good friend…..but she lives VERY far away. I’ve known her for about 20 years. So I know that there are some nice people in the world….I just don’t personally know a lot of them.

[@lizm9115]

'Observe don't absorb' I luv that! Thank you Michelle!🙋‍♀️🙏🕊🎯

[@paulstewart238]

Best strategy

[@kleomenis456]

Good choice

[@melissamaldonado1701]

@@kleomenis456 to ooo

[@whatsgoingon6256]

Drop expectations: Expect to observe: "malignant, emotional abuser" behavior Don't expect: "Healthy, reasonable, normal" behavior

[@marka.8535]

I wish my narc gave me the silent treatment; that would be like a vacation.

[@teresatillery7501]

LOL! I definitely can relate!

[@babdullah5025]

OMG the same. My dream was when I went no contact she'd just leave me alone and not come back acting nice then start the psychopathy all over again. The psycho was my husband's sister in law.

[@mirrormirror3414]

Mine does every now and then....I laugh inside and go gray rock...which he thinks means I'm depressed and he's punishing me... because I ignore it like it's perfectly normal....it doesn't happen often, but it's so nice! And it's really hard not to let the amusement and relief show on my face.😂

[@ajseuol1864]

That's what I'm screaming. Lol

[@mikeburrello4396]

Being ignored intentionally when youre a child doesn't make you any healthier.

[@Revelation18-4]

Provoking me was his favorite past time. 😤🤯

[@one_ice_cold_chiq]

We lived with my narc FIL for a year and I went no contact with this man in his house! It's possible. The day we moved out, still said not a word to him. You don't have to take someone's abuse cuz you live with them.

[@audrey1258]

👏👏👏

[@WhiteAngelLovesEarth]

silent treatment for me is a breath of air, it hurts only if you are still fooled by them

[@petertran8968]

I have try that before, that is also a way of them training you to put up with their abuse, because you can’t even get upset when you are upset, if you do you will fall into their trap by having people think you’re the problem. Is a lose and lose situation, I’m have flashback just by taking about it.. if you get mad, upset then you are the problem the crazy person if you don’t then it means you have no sanity because you allow them to treat you the way they do, you can not WIN the narcissist. On top of that the people that are around when the narcissist are nice to you are mostly is their friends or their family they are not gonna validate you. Also remember the narcissist is gonna deny everything do lying to people right in front of you knowing that you know the truth, because they know how upsetting that can make you.. 2 years with the narcissist teach me valuable lesson, mistakes that I will never make again. There is no easier way around you have to go through a person like this to become your best self...

[@westcoastvibes1193]

Well said. I went through this. The only way is to get out. I found that staying silent just brought on more abuse to provoke me. When I finally left I was a tired emotional wreck. Never again will I tolerate someone’s BS like that.

[@chasnme13]

yes I, too, tried this along with any other way and by not "reacting" and "acting" like I didn't care I lost myself and felt just as emotionally drained !

[@chetpomeroy1399]

If possible, it's best to get toxic people like this out of your life.

[@kaajalhirji3365]

I think of it as a form of mental self-defence. Blocking everything they throw at you. (I found it helpful to imagine I’m wearing a labcoat and just studying them, and not to interact to avoid getting biased results). And you have to expect it’ll get worse at first. Because their aim is to provoke you. But if you stick to it long enough, eventually they’ll get bored and leave you alone and find someone else for their supply. And like Michelle said, you acknowledge how you feel inside but don’t let them know. And don’t let your guard down. That’s the hardest part. Find someone you can talk to later. It is definitely a temporary solution though.

[@petertran8968]

@@kaajalhirji3365 this was my experience in the past, I only shared it because I know a lot of people are confused by the behavior of this types of people. People are mistakenly taken abused and thinking is love, but those days are over for me I’m longer tolerate people and things that are no good for my life EVER again. Also whoever dealing with a narcissist need to deeply acknowledge that they are pathological LAIRS, and that is their choice, they deserve ZERO sympathy from anybody.

[@BellaVita1890]

This is so so so helpful because most videos I see will say "go no-contact" or "just get out of that living situation" but those aren't really viable solutions because it isn't always possible to leave or go completely no-contact. So thank you for making this video. I appreciate it so much and I'm sure many others do as well. ❤️

[@Coco-og7zw]

Wow! Thought I was the only one who thought/felt this way. Some of us are married to these people and leaving and going no contact is not always the solution.

[@NewBeginnings413]

One that sticks with me the most is “Respond DO NOT react!”.

[@chetpomeroy1399]

Although it's not a permanent solution, that's a *very good* way of covertly and surreptitiously forcing them to take their inappropriate behavior and their "dark cloud" elsewhere, compelling them to make *somebody else* their emotional and psychological dumping ground. *EXCELLENT* strategy! It's really best to get toxic people like this our of your life *permanently,* though.

[@AgendaInMind]

My co dependent mother has been expecting my covert father to change for 50 years, and she’s willfully ignorant in learning otherwise. I am not my mother.

[@GODLYBEAUTY7]

Love on your mom in front of your dad. Validate her, teach him what true love looks like and teach her that she is loveable. It starts with those of us who know better.

[@saragarofano6471]

@@GODLYBEAUTY7 it's not her job

[@charleshope8856]

@@saragarofano6471 It's not her job to love her own mother?

[@mandolaa4855]

I learned from a young age to do this, without even realized it's a tool to protect yourself from a narc

[@semasariyildiz4346]

These tools cannot survive with cronic provocations . No contact is the way.

[@lioydwilliams1850]

Sema Sariyildiz, you got a lovely smile

[@Brownmahfun]

Agreed. No contact is the only way.

[@thatjtyp]

The title says.....when you live with them, so this is about situations when you can’t go no contact.

[@Brownmahfun]

@@thatjtyp Yes that is the ONLY way you can't go no contact because other than that, as an adult there is a choice. Most children don't have that choice.

[@kristeandreatujague7016]

Truth. 💕

[@djhrecordhound4391]

Never mind the same roof...mine are family in the same city. This all still applies, even though I've lived on my own a long time.

[@Burbankelly]

“Observe, don’t absorb” By Ross Rosenberg is a great concept and advice!

[@jc7636]

I'm in the middle of the silent treatment now, I'm looking forward to putting this advise into action . I have always reacted and was sucked in. Thanks Michele for your help.❤️

[@moniquejackson7741]

Excellent video. We need more examples of Grey Rock and Observe Don't Absorb. It very much depends on the type of Narc (there's like 7 types), and it depends on the situation. The bottom line is they will always try to destabilize your emotions and/or get a rise out of you for Supply, so this is a way to deny them Supply and protect your mental health and self esteem. I love how you brought out that it's not a permanent solution, but a tool for coping when you can't go No Contact. Thank you!

[@johnpaul2285]

Definitely , don't sweat the small stuff and have an awesome day every one Thank you Michele

[@EscapingTheMadness]

So hard to ignore someone who you have a child with.....BUT living with a narcissist is something else 🤢

[@sblong07]

Get a divorce. Your child will have a better chance of growing emotionally stable by seeing you strong. There is not other way but leaving him and get a narc lawyer! He will bully him like there is no tomorrow. I went though it and I won. Sending blessings and positive thoughts

[@tdr_paraadvisor3996]

Right there witcha going on 15 years can't just leave with nowhere to go and a child! For those of us that can't just "leave" these are great tools!!

[@barryosullivan3428]

It's such a pity that I wasn't watching these videos this time ten years ago when my Mother was dying, it would have made losing her that bit much easier...

[@triplekids3]

12 weeks free and I’m loving it

[@taralynn1475]

Good for you!! It only gets better. Enjoy your weekend

[@truecrimes1435]

When the narcissist is in the midst of framing me with false accusations, it's best for me to just ghost them or correct them depending on the severity of what it is they are doing; rather other low IQ family members think I'm crazy or not. If they are that incompetent, we shouldn't regard them anyway. I just don't have the energy to accommodate their envious psychosis by taking their abuse or walking on eggshells, that's for their flying monkeys to deal with. They should be grateful that we are as humble and kind as we are because their behavior wouldn't survive another narc.

[@gunchief0811]

My Ex wife is the most Psychotic, verbally and mentally abusive person iv'e ever met. she gives new meaning to the word Narcissist. she was really really something to see when she got going, deceptive, Cruel, mean spirited and really down right just a scary person. she reminds me of Jodi arias. very very conscious of her image around others but behind closed door a virtual monster hell bent on destroying her target. "at that time it was me" but she wasn't able to complete her mission I was like this woman is nut's we lived together for 3 years and it was horrible, very bad relationship probably the worst one iv'e ever had. but I'm better now because were all free she can do her thang I can do mine.. thank God. peace to all of you.... :). learn grow and keep Love in your heart for yourself as well as others. forgiveness is a good thing for our own salvation. it's must have list of items to service this life and transition into the next one. Jesus is Lord.

[@bollywoodtalks3043]

I loved the way you explained things in details ...I get this ... ... Malignant Narcissist..they Bring Pain .. only need drama and emotions... Do not React to Crazy...if they label or abuse respond saying - Really ???Oh ,Thanks for letting me know!😎😎😎😎 I have reached stage of staying Grounded and I understand things that's It's not Me it's ThEM... .... Learning Journey continues ...thanks...

[@GODLYBEAUTY7]

I was in a situation where, my husband played this invalidation game. We have 8 children together. He always tried to make me feel like I wasn't doing enough although I was the one doing the most, working, helping establish, maintain and grow a business, birthing, nursing, cleaning, disciplining, especially keeping everyone of the mindset of connection, closeness, care and respect for the family circle and dynamics, always trying to grow. If you know how hard it is to keep people's, especially children's minds focused, then you know what that looks like.🤪 Now my husband was really slack in the mental department, as in, if it took critical thinking skills or even intentional commitment to something, he took the "ride the band wagon" approach, because that's how he's been able to get by. For example, he'd push me into making the plans, organizing, speaking up, etc, so that if it went well, we'd both get the glory, but if it went bad, only I would reap the consequences and he would allow me the spotlight of shame all to myself. So, because of this he would get my children on board by only being the fun parent and not the disciplinary of the home. He would disengage most of the time, but chime in with funny, exciting stories, and treats when something was started by someone else besides him, sort of like a lime light thief. He allowed me to make all the tough decisions and then accused the children of not respecting him enough and me of being a dictator, mean girl, wanting too much control in the relationship and because of this my children, although admittedly, I became frustrated and lashed out at times, seemed to only see things the way he was presenting them, I was so lost as to how to redeem myself. I'm on the road to recovery, yet he's out of the picture and in the worst way, like not taking care of his financial responsibilities, side barring my children with petty change and gifts, the same way he did during the relationship, just a lot less now, because he's only allowed to get so close, I set boundaries. It's amazing how he still continues after seeing how much damage he's caused, I believe he's convinced himself that I'm the problem.

[@FaithfulandTrue949]

8 children, you deserve a medal. I pray they know the Truth and are a comfort and blessing to you. Well done for getting away, Jesus loves you, Love is stronger than death.

[@pjmrees]

Your comment about taking the credit really resonated with me. Before I knew about narcissism I was so hurt by this action and didn't understand it. If a situation went well he took the credit even if he wasn't involved but if a situation went bad it was "our" problem even when I wasn't even part of it!

[@freerobuxcheckmychannel2521]

Oh Lord, I have six kids. Married 25 years. Finally made him leave. How ling were you married and how did you wake up?

[@kaajalhirji3365]

Sounds like you lived with 9 children. That is tough 🤗

[@GODLYBEAUTY7]

@@freerobuxcheckmychannel2521 We Were together 18 years, married for 15 of those years. I chose to seperate around this time last year, because we were fighting a lot, not on the same page about almost everything and our children were witnessing the chaos. I thought we would just separate for a bit, get our thoughts together and realise that we could work it out with counseling, but while separated, he committed adultry. He tried to move back in by staying one weekend at the house because it was my daughter's birthday and he "wanted to be with her for her day." I went to sleep and dreamt about the adultry, I woke up the next morning and asked him about it, he denied, but my intuitive side said different and that's when I found the evidence of it all. On my daughter's birthday.😩😑😌

[@user-qv9nw1dq2f]

Knowledge is power. When we know that the narcissist regulates their emotional state by dumping their garbage onto us and steal our peace and calmness in the energetic exchange, we can start protecting ourselves. Thank you for brilliant advice Michelle ❤

[@cwm9638]

These interactions are so painful you’re right- validating my own pain is such a helpful thing - thank you

[@MattxtianUniverse]

It’s somewhat hard when your mom and your sister are ganging up on you with these traits. After the death of my dad (who was the last person I believe genuinely loved me). Praying this all gets better for all you guys and anyone who has to deal with this.

[@Godlywoman88]

My sister made a nasty comment to me out of the blue and I didnt say anything. I just stared at her, but not responding led to future resentment that I didn't respond and set some kind of boundary. She is always brooding and negative and mean, but accuses everyone else of being narcissistic and acts like a victim and isn't self aware to realize the way she treats and talks to/about people. When I still lived with toxc sister and dad, I stayed in my room or out of the house alot.

[@michaelbarber5651]

Thank you. Differentiating "no contract" which is not done out of "anger" but out of "not being manipulated" is different than "ignoring someone" as a means to "get back at them or manipulate" someone. Malicious malignant narcissistic manipulate children using narcissistic alienation techniques and the end goal of the narcissistic is full "emotional break and no-contact" from the targeted parent. So children learn this "mal-behavoir" from their narcissistic parent. So narcissist parents use no-contact as proof to reinforce their diabolic manipulation. Someone needs to rescue our kids from these nut cases.

[@MysticButterfly22]

Thanks Michele this video is just what I needed to hear. I'm currently living at home with mom and she has become more toxic as she has gotten older. I'm going to use these tactics to keep my peace for the next few months I'm with her.

[@melonyjones9776]

Did it work

[@zengreen7]

Neutralize the Narc, stay CALM stay CENTERED.

[@dougarnold7955]

Thanks. 7:32 I had to do that so much and while I did react badly sometimes, I started to recognize this as I got older. It is a big challenge realizing that the training for behaving badly was trained into me from the time I was young, before I can remember.

[@iracircosa8890]

Thank you for these self help talks

[@martefact]

This is a brilliant articulation of the projection game ! Brilliant! N.e.v.e.r. feed that shit! 'Observe don't Absorb'

[@007Tinkins]

I have come to a place in my own growth where I’ve been able to do this now for the past 6 months and it’s made ALL the difference. I’m going to send this video to my therapist because you describe it so well.

[@douglasmiller1212]

Interesting comment because I'm learning more from videos like these while my therapist failed to even recognize that the encounters with my plus one that I was puzzled about fit those of someone with NPD. Why are therapists unaware of this pattern of behavior?

[@DockClock-rp2ro]

This video helped a lot. My mother is likely Covert Narc, and does petty little things to annoy me -- no matter how many times I ask her to stop. She has been doing this to me and my sister our whole lives. My sister is fully in denial, and I have become the scapegoat, because I would often get frustrated and become angry. Learning to healthily control my anger has been hard. I grew up in a very explosive household, and my Dad has never had emotional regulation. He would often be violent and destructive. My whole family associated anger with violence, and I had to work to adjust this. I used to just stifle my anger and immediately jump into "intellectual repair mode", as a result of my family becoming aggressive whenever anger appeared. As I got too big for physical aggression to be an issue for the rest of my family, verbal aggression became the tool. Spite and disgusting venom - especially from my sister. When I couldn't fix whatever issue was occurring, I would just become anxious. I developed an anxiety disorder as a result. I have worked to fix this. I try to he angry in a healthy way. This has worked with my Dad, but my sister still resorts to aggressive tactics; insults, shaming, guilting, talking over, etc. I have trying to avoid talking to my Mum as much as possible, because then she takes this as reason to assume everything is fine. I am planning to move away ASAP.

[@gamersonly510]

Choosing to hang around someone malignant and pretending it doesn't bother you does not work. Ultimately you will have to break ties with the malignant narcissist. Keeping toxic people in your vicinity will affect you no matter how much you try to pretend it doesn't.

[@friendoflife2416]

You have helped me so much. My son is getting married in 1 month and I will be seated with my ex- the narcissist. I suffered for 10 years AFTER the divorce but have been healing since 6 months of no contact. Thank you for this video!

[@mister_oj_zen7345]

Family members who act like this, are people we grow up with teaching us there harmful and negative way's. Is a main reason we grow up a bit jacked up in the brain, which takes us years to fix. It makes me think at times why was I even born, or why was I born to a family like this.

[@dennyangel7155]

🥰🥰🥰 I'm dealing with this now! Thanks for info

[@shusain7233]

me two. its been 25 years.

[@mariezapata24]

You go Michelle. I love how you are able to break down all the stupid crazy making actions of these Narcs. And you are on point this is exactly how they behave and how they continue to keep control over you. But this is a exactly right in order for someone to break away from this craziness, they need to remain calm and true to themselves and not allow anyone to shake them up. Thanks again

[@alimccreery755]

If I have nothing to say then I don’t say anything. You’re right on point about provoking.

[@maynardbecker4613]

I have a technique..it works like magic against someone criticizing you.. I just say “you’re right” or “wow you don’t know the half of it” “I’m a failure squared” you watch the look on their face when you agree with them.. it destroys them. They get so frustrated when you’re not upset. It’s a way of not going into resistance to what they’re saying.. it’s sort of an Aikido move

[@Newsbirdie]

I understand what you are tying to get at but ignoring and keeping it short without being upset is the way to go.

[@DaRyteJuan]

Goodness gracious, Michele, our parents give birth to perfect children, no deformities, ailments or afflictions and they can’t even give us a few crumbs of kindness and validation. So wicked.

[@okiemmarty337]

Normal person from the outside would ask why are you upset, because normal human being knows that no one is upset for no reason.

[@rosaliemccabe7629]

I totally agree, you've explained it so well although I admit it isn't a permanent solution as ultimately you need physical separation too but nonetheless great clarity, thank you

[@reikimaster1756]

I learned, when I have to deal with narcissist, like we all have to sometimes, they are everywhere, I let them to talk. I know, they are not able to do conversation, they don't listen, they don't care too, what we say. What is point than, having any conversation with them? If we have conversation with them, will happen unhappiness quickly on both sides. They can't stand different believes, opinions. They are always right, they are perfect people they believe. I let them just to talk, that is what they want. They always crave for attention. When I can't listen anymore, I find way to stop them talking, I say, I have to go. But telling them, you hurt my feelings, I don't like how you treat me. Does not work because they don't care anyway, some they do care in moment and in moment will make them to feel bad but than after they will switch like, was our fault anyway. Is best way just to stop conversation with abusive narcissist. Like experts are saying, using Grey Rock, is best way to deal with them. And to learn how to be immune with them. But is different story living with narcissist. I have that experience. Using Grey Rock works for narcissist that are not dangerous. If you ignore abusive narcissist and you are not he or she wants, will be problem.

[@MW-zk9zc]

My In-Laws have tortured me my entire still ongoing 20 year marriage to my husband and one of their favorite things to do to me is: to whisper to one another whenever my husband leaves the room. Of course my husband is never around to be a witness to any of their childish & rude behaviors. 🙄 Your videos have helped me tremendously & of course enlighten me too in giving me the tools to having to deal with them. So grateful 🙏💙 to you for your videos & expertise!!! Many many thanks 🙏💙 for helping so many of us - your videos have been extremely healing & liberating for me - a real 🎁 💝 gift which I needed desperately.

[@ivypatrick6459]

It works. I've been under this situation for decades and within the last 3 years I'm feeling amazing strength and peace. Therapy continues to help. Listen and try to implement it. You will grow daily. Thank you for the reaffirming of my personal self and values. Growth is empowering and oh so peaceful.

[@marymrtzmztrbs]

I think that its sad and that a person has to learn their stupid games and learn how to counter balance their crazy crap because they can totally Sabatoge your reputation to others, especially when they do it in your face to others 🤦‍♀️ Your information is helpful. Thank You! If we didn't learn how to counter balance their craziness it could really hurt the innocent person.

[@ignoranceisnotatrend4669]

Good video, so many people speak on this topic as if you're supposed to just run and get away from them, they never touch on the reality of living with a narcissist, having kids by one and buying a home together , like one is supposed to just leave and forget about the fruits of their labor because of a type of behavior they have

[@alimccreery755]

When Thing Two told me that my character was bad I realize now that he was projecting. I get it.

[@edgreen8140]

You don't react to the statements they make. Realize they would do this to anyone. So its their issue not yours. Observe their behavioral and statements but don't react. Make mental notes of their behavior patterns. They will repeat their behavior. Repitition compulsion they repeat what they learn growing up. Show no emotion give a brief answer so it looks fine to those around you.Because those around you don't know what they did behind close doors.

[@rosinastrippoli7768]

Great strategy ..one if my favorite life coaches...the absolute best and knowledgeable when it comes to narcissism

[@edgreen8140]

She is correct . i use oda all the time. I don't react like i use to- the gaslighting has stopped because they get no reaction which is what they are looking for. You distance yourself and make mental notes about their behavior and statements. Life gets better.

[@Cinemagoer_64]

Thank you that is so positive and truthful!👍

[@cecillepoblete2075]

talk, talk, talk, stop!

[@shakeelriaz8234]

Awesome reader , earth Angel for human being

[@stylist62]

You are exactly correct, they will upset you extremely, then in public pretend nice Yes whole goal to hurt upset you💔🥵 They won’t give up all day until you blow up, then blame you They are masters at humiliating and intimidating you. It’s really hard to do that, especially in a relationship everyday it’s a toxic game

[@licksnkicks1166]

I give my narc the silent treatment whenever he deserves it. Idc anymore. I am strong, super resilient and will never ever let him make me fold. He will before I do. I also started microdosing psilocybin and it’s made a huge difference in the way I deal with things in a clear and concise matter. He doesn’t like it! He loves drama. Me, I walk away!

[@creativemindsonja]

It is sooo hard to stay calm when they operate 24/7. They literaly have to do that because they have no way to produce their own energy, so they have to find a way to steal it from us (through poking all the time). When I moved, I literaly started breathing normal again and I think this have been only way to save myself. Now I am in the process of recovering.

[@ai172]

Thank you for yet another terrific content, Michelle. I have been living with a malignant covert spouse and this has been my mantra " Do not ignore him, but ignore his crazy making" ! Along with gray rocking(which includes limited and necessary interactions) and journaling, this mantra has helped me stay sane, hold my truth and at the same time manage the narc and his outbursts. Much love and light to all💞

[@His.Heart.]

How does journaling help? And my husband don’t stop when I abserve he just keeps going until I pop.

[@ai172]

@@His.Heart. The narcissist will never stop until you pop. They want that reaction from us. Do not give it to them. You have to be strong enough to just listen. Listen carefully. Everything that they say is who they are. Journaling helps me express my truth. It helps me stay sane with my emotions, my reality. That way no matter how much crazy making the narc does to you, you are able to stay in touch with who you are.

[@deb2319]

family life is a responsiblity and a map...use your gifts for a happy healthy life. Peace. Be Well.

[@carolstanhope4717]

Sooo true!! Thank you for being clear and concise. Some of these videos on this topic,ramble on too long and put me to sleep.I'm subbed.🙏

[@yandiraaguiar8418]

Thank you. I set a clear intention to be aware of this.

[@stephb4ever]

Yeeessss! You are sooo smart Michelle! Thanks for this info. It is spot on accurate!!!

[@DenverChiropractor]

It's called "No contact"! so you can heal

[@melinda9188]

This video came in my feed at the right time - thank you. 🙂

[@DeeDee-zo7rv]

Your videos are invaluable! They’ve helped me so much!

[@RippleDrop.]

You have got to KNOW YOURSELF so you can discern if what they say is just spiteful utterance or helpful advise.

[@pearlsandstars829]

Thank you for an excellent video, with real life examples and examples of application!!! This is incredibly helpful!

[@annac6778]

The example of inner dialogue is really fantastic!!!! I think it helps me a lot to have some sort of script or template!! I don't even know how to start talking to myself in a beneficial way and I make mistakes (talk too positive and try not to feel the emotion underlying the response I should not give > that's a big one). It's great to hear a concrete example!!!

[@gracesunshine6716]

Thank you, this is the message that is helping. I may have to listen to it daily for a little while.

[@lifetimeactor6789]

I guess there's just certain people that we can't be authentic & vulnerable around. Some folks yes, people who have healthy empathy, but not everybody. Some people are like hungry lions smelling fresh meat if you try to be too real around them.

[@sarahwaldrop192]

Awesome video. Thank you for your time and advice in this matter and explaining is gentle and simple. Love your work! BIG FAN

[@drebugsita]

Wow if only I had seen this video years ago. I think not doing the silent treatment and not being curt with them is very important information - which a lot of otherwise very helpful channels on narcissism do not include or simply say to go "grey rock" or cut them out. Unfortunately those techniques don't really work a lot of the time, for the very reasons you explained. I got exhausted by my narc mom and sister and began to distance myself to the point of estrangement only to be met with a barrage of angry emails, calls, etc. When I caved and responded my mom's narrative quickly became, "she only responds to anger" - like what?! What a twisted takeaway. But it reflects your point. And in many of those written exchanges she does look like the reasonable one. It feels so disenguous to have to pretend to be ok with them but I think that it comes with accepting that you cannot interact like you would in a normal healthy relationship.

[@davidl5504]

Hi Michelle, thank you for this. I now realize that some of my responses were correct and healthy. I just wasn't sure until now. Before I was using trial and error that wasn't effective. It actually added to the confusion.

[@fiftyshadesofgrey1991]

My narc mother recently was exposing how she was sweet and loving in waiting before the window for her narc son as my younger brother

[@aboutnoise2335]

You're videos nail it every time! It's no refreshing❤😊

[@jamiestumps6146]

Great Video, this information can be very useful at times, having several plans makes things easier. Thank you!

[@gvintage]

My husband did this to me all the time. Then he used it against me. It's sick. 2 of my children started treating me differently because of how he used my reactions against me. I haven't reacted in a while. Him disgarding me and moving out has helped me greatly. I am no contact as much as possible but he is emotionally abusing my young daughter.

[@blrenx]

Thanks Michele .. I don't live with my narc but it's like I do. She plays games right in front of my face . As you advised me I started writing down every conversation. After a few months I have noticed she has a timed table you could set your watch by . I see the same days the same time she calls. The length of calls are always the same ,right down to the minute.The last time we talked she started very nice and loving , it quickly turned into , I don't know if we should see each other because I'm messing with her head.. Can you believe that BS ? I'm messing with her head . lol wat a joke. Without thinking Michele just popped out of my mouth seamlessly. It was a calm emotionless reply. I said , you know I was thinking the same thing, I said you don't make me happy I don't make you happy , we should part ways for awhile. she blew up and went into a tirade of insults. I just stopped listening after the first insult. Then she turned into the perfect woman in the blink of an eye. I told her I need time to think and I'll call you when I get my thoughts together . that was one week ago . This is the first time I've been able to seperate from her for more than one day in 2 years. She still tries to get my attention.. Her monkeys and what she calls putting shit in the pipeline. I didn't know how hard it would be facing the facts with time to think.

[@yokai_G]

sometimes the only thing you can do is exactly that, “go silent” just so you don’t damage your mental health completely 😌. Naturally, it’ll reach a point where you just don’t wanna talk to them, period! 😌😌

[@getrudemwaura946]

Thanks Michelle for the Video 🙏 I am moving towards being self reliant expecting nothing Observe and not absorb not forever 🙏🙏💞💕

[@Ihopeitsshittyattheblackdog]

This advice is extremely helpful...thank you

[@haimbenavraham1502]

This is invaluable information and positive strategies for millions of people. Thank you.

[@8no1likeme-infinitestar65]

So greatful for this and all ur videos...thank u

[@Cinemagoer_64]

Thank you Michelle they really work and it allows me to get on with my day and my life. I am able to work on my goals and myself. Thank you!

[@suzannechadwick6162]

You are a God sent. Thank you. I finally have an answer to brain fog. I thought I was developing dementia.

[@warrencardwell6706]

Thanks for another informative video Michele.

[@footsteps247]

Well thought out, thanks

[@EsotericOccultist]

Noticing instead of absorbing. I like that 👍

[@LION-on4gd]

Really the Best keys to lock them with their manipulations projections and the key to unlock our selfestime confidence happiness well being authencity ..

[@williambuckley1185]

I have a partner like this. I started this technique today and I already feel better even though she is still needling me I am looking at it like a challenge but still letting her know that I love her periodically. So far it is working

[@normadeluna3349]

Thank you so much. I am going to try it. 🤗

[@MsLTbeliever]

This is was great cause this totally helps with what I have to deal with. I can't do no contact so this really works. Their words go in one ear and right out of the other. I no longer absorb their words nor believe them. In my mind, I tell myself, remember this person is crazy and their words mean nothing. I just had a friend out of nowhere text me and gaslight me cause she hates herself and decided to project it on to me and instead of allowing it to ruin my day or self-esteem, I totally seen through it and was like wow she is crazy.

[@treecloser]

Action = Reaction Set Clear Boundaries, Don't be emotional in your response, Explain Yourself Only Ones. Response but do not react. Work on yourself

[@ahrush575]

Distinct and additional tools used toward myself would certainly also include 'obfuscation' and the tactic of not hearing or responding with answer so as to engage in heightened anxiety within a conversation through these 'mini' silent treatments - Thanks for all of your great advice Michelle. 👌

[@OneSockFellOff]

You inspired me to look up obfuscation! Cheers for that, and please take care.