How to Know If Your Wife Is Committed to the Marriage

[@jaywagner2321]

Wife says “I’m sorry” = a blank slate as if it never happened, free to resume behavior immediately. Husband says “I’m sorry” = confession of guilt, restitution must be made

[@spliff_craven]

@@jaywagner2321 Sounds like "recycled heartbreak" tied into narcissistic survivors guilt. Be the best you and demand nothing less than what you offer. Just remember you get what you give; so don't dish out punishing scenarios but don't accept them either. Nothing gets under the skin of a sinner more than happiness of a Saint. Even a Saint knows when someone is content to drown in a pity party... Truth be told: If you can save yourself; only they can do the same... Sometimes it's the comfort of knowing (victimhood) something familiar... Keeping them stuck. Rather than finding happiness (thrivivorship) in the unknown self. It's the fear of that change and self-rediscovery that keeps people in the 40 miles of bad road...

[@TchallaUduku]

Or:”Your apology means nothing to me.”

[@John_Wood_]

she says it, just before she cracks you over the head with a hammer, just like before, or similar.

[@arturoescorcia]

Holding grudges over perceived offenses is the woman's ultimate weapon and whenever she feels she is losing an argument she will bring back things from the past and use them to turn the tables on you. Every. Single. Time.

[@OfSoulAndSin]

Restitutions that last for years/decades.

[@drumsnbass]

My ex-wife was never accountable for anything. Not the lying, not the cheating. I heard “I’m sorry” but it was perfunctory. I was married to an adult child.

[@Savage_Thinker]

Yeah dude. I had to let this girl go cuz all she said was "I'm sorry". No real action to show that she meant it.

[@theclockworkcadaver7025]

I don't think "perfunctory" means what you think it means.

[@VikingMan44]

@@theclockworkcadaver7025 "Perfunctory"... Webster says... characterized by routine or superficiality. I think he knows exactly what that word means.

[@tonyg9255]

She's not sorry if what she did yesterday to prompt the "sorry" is repeated tomorrow.

[@whoodiniiam]

​@@Savage_Thinkerhelp she even choked me told me wish I die I called her mom told her I will bring her things over sent her a voice record while her daughter was screaming to back up my claims didn't side with me and now gf refuses to leave my house...

[@NicoleK8]

The tricky thing about accountability is accepting we (wives) did something wrong, even when we don't FEEL like we did anything wrong. We demand husbands apologize & change even when they didn't think they did anything wrong because our feelings were hurt, but we're very reluctant to do that for them. Probably the hardest, most humbling experience of my life was sincerely apologizing (followed with change!) for something I did but didn't view as "wrong". But I owned it (eventually) because I was hurting my husband!

[@poopingwhilestanding5801]

Wow...if just a fraction of married women had that same reaction....think of how many marriages would be saved and children would have a father in their life. Well said and well reflected.

[@spliff_craven]

@@NicoleK8 When you own yourself and master "YOU" can you share that happiness with those around you. It's truly that transformation that scares the heck out of people...

[@tropicalblessingsph]

Very well said. I am learning that too as a future wife.

[@isaiah6659]

🤔 the thing is... Typically, when the wife does something wrong? Its ACTUALLY wrong... Not just cuz your hubbys "feelings were hurt". Why? Cuz typically, his qualms are based in PRINCIPLE. Whereas you wifeys get upset because he didnt let the toilet seat down... Now hes "wrong"? GTFOH 😅 For example; Not letting the toilet seat down ⚖️ vs you dressing like a shlut and going out for "girls night" are two TOTALLY different things. But i digress. Its our job to ALWAYS be the bigger person right? 😂

[@isaiah6659]

@SchittStane-c4tfacts 💯 but think about it. The answer is BOTH. Whamen are extremely averse to accountability, yet at the same time, Men are PUZZIES for their daughters these days. Men are literally trained to treat their daughters like a "princess", lest he be deemed a "dead beat Dad". How many times have you heard a woman say "my DADDY NEVER says 'no' to me" 😔 In essence, those who are supposed to instill morals and values (men) have been slacking, simply due to FEAR of being labeled a "bad father".

[@leontsiaousis2610]

Never heard one apology from my ex wife, during the marriage or after it ended. Cheating or insults, she has no remorse. Glad she is gone, it was hell.

[@t-dogg115]

My wife doesn’t apologise she just says I’m sorry you feel that way

[@samozhivnik]

😅😅😅

[@John_Wood_]

or "we'll agree to disagree" when it is obvious she screwed up!

[@nomansland6376]

See.. this is where I would do something fucked up and say the same back. Sorry you feel that way.. with a, how’s that make you feel? Unloved, right? Something her father never did to correct her as a child. I have no patience for that manipulative crap.

[@waynemaglinger8364]

Same here

[@lieutenant9796]

I recently found this channel. Oh my hell! I've thought I was alone and crazy for thinking I was alone in this struggle in my marriage. Thank you so much for these wonderful messages. I love my wife of 18 years but I've found myself feeling like my efforts have and will be in vain. It's been a great marriage yet a very lonely and unappreciated marriage. Weird to say both of these things in the same sentence but it's hard to explain.

[@johnryan3374]

You're not crazy. Hang in there. Pray for your wife. And, best of all; ask her to consider these videos.

[@eeL_rM]

"I'm sorry you feel that way" is even worse. Instead of taking accountability and expressing remorse for their action, they word the "apology" as if you're wrong for your feelings in response to their action. This is in fact a further insult; they think you're not smart enough to realize this is not a genuine apology.

[@mylesleggette7520]

"I'm sorry," when used in that context is not typically meant to be an apology. Being "sorry" can mean a few different things, and in addition to referring to an acknowledgement of one's mistakes/failures, it can also simply mean feeling badly for someone else's situation. You can feel sorry for a dog that got its tail stepped on even if you didn't hurt it, and you can feel sorry for your spouse feeling badly, even if you did not do something that hurt them. I use "I'm sorry you feel that way," often with my wife. It acknowledges that I see she is upset, and do not feel good about her being upset, but also that the reason she is upset is not because of something I did wrong. Of course, one CAN use it insincerely also. It really depends on the person and the situation.

[@eeL_rM]

@@mylesleggette7520 The video is people lacking remorse for their actions. I commented in that context.

[@spliff_craven]

Sharp tongues cut deeper than knives...

[@jaywagner2321]

Yup. I’d rather get in the ring with Conor McGregor than get verbally assaulted by my wife. With the former no one would mind me defending myself

[@rgc3529]

Thank you for your great videos. You helped me to understand what happened to me is real. My ex wife and her mother turned my family and friends against me. My ex wife's best friend and her husband were the only ones who stood by me and called her out on her and her mother's evil. Her mother was married 8 times and wanted to control her daughter the same. I spent a Christmas in my car. I cried like a little kid for 5 years behind closed doors. After my wife had an affair, her mother wrote letters to All my friends and family saying I was the one having affairs. I was innocent. They cleared out our joint bank accounts. Nobody believed me. My family turned against me. I fell to an eating disorder. I am now, 16 years later a diabetic. I am now with a lady who loves me more than anything and I am learning to live again.

[@Ifixxthings]

My wife of 35 yrs walked out on me six months ago. Found someone else to torment. I never ever heard her say anything appreciative about anything. When things got tense her trademark comment was " I do love you, I just dont know how to show it" for 35 yrs she never learned how.

[@tiger05rtc]

That’s because she didn’t love herself.

[@ShellyManne1]

If I point out something to my wife while we are having a disagreement, if she takes accountability for what I’ve said she will only reveal it years later in an argument as a positive character trait that she took accountability. But at no point will she tell me this remotely around the time of awareness, but only to throw it at me as some kind of weapon in an argument. I’ll ask her, you never mentioned this to me when it was brought up x months/years ago. Then she might add that I don’t recognize her changes in behavior. Anything regarding accountability is like the plague to her. And this seems to be a theme with the husbands I know. Note: it might go the same way for women about their husbands but I’m not having these types of conversation with women. Just don’t want to be labeled as being biased.

[@funcygames]

There's a reason why your experience is familiar to many husbands you talk to. It is very common.

[@OtsuDC]

You gotta be married to a narcissist

[@markdatheist9179]

You aren't crazy. It is a woman thing - a lot more common on one gender than another

[@marke219]

I love this gal!!! I was thinking that there are a hundred channels with this message for men but this seems revolutionary for women! I could only think of a couple of women that would not have a meltdowns if they watchefd this channel. I know women that couldn't get through this 5 min videos for 100 bucks!

[@elebeu]

Unfortunately the premise is flawed. Before she will even consider accountability she has to be persuaded that 10 Amazon packages a day is unusual.

[@damforlife433]

If you want to be a better woman/wife accountability is a must.

[@spliff_craven]

True words! Thanks so much for your videos. Finally I'm not alone...

[@marsewolfe3989]

You definitely are not alone, it's amazing how many men come out of the woodwork!

[@hendrikventer4182]

Good morning Karyn. Thank you so much for you video's and advice. This is not to get back at my wife, but to understand her beter and how to journey with her to a better life, beter herself and a better marriage. Hendrik Venter from Pretoria South-Africa.

[@randydavis7718]

Absolutely accurate, thanks for your help and support.

[@adameboge5270]

A few months ago my wife started listening to Sheila wrestling Gregory. What are your thoughts and response to what she is teaching? After listening to her my wife wants to end a 20 yr marriage, I've been accused of abuse in almost every way, I haven't been a great husband in many ways but I'm not perfect. But there was so much hate that started after she listened to those podcasts. I heard don't touch me, don't huge me, don't say I love you to me, don't say you understand or you are sorry and more. For 20 yrs I've been reading so many books on how to be a better man and it now gets turned upside down. But I've never forced my wife to live submissive or many of the things Sheila Wrey Gregory attacks.

[@Billy-the-Kid]

Just read your message. Who is Sheila/Gregory? Anyway, whatever, she decided to flip the switch against you. You are both not perfect, nobody is. There is not a lot you can do really but to accept it's over. Only thing you can do is prepare yourself.

[@davek2003]

Oh boy. Sheila Wray Gregoire fancies herself a Christian, but I've never come across more unbiblical teaching. She's a piece of work.

[@CushRayman]

I don't know that, but yes evil women deceive women and it's evil, they are even better at deceiving men because why would a man want to be around hell on legs and for any price? It's one reason women hate the men they can control. You'll be alright, middle aged men have a chance to start again, middle aged women do not.

[@teresamccoy3821]

So glad your channel has grown so much! Keep bringing out helpful truth!

[@Mr.Quibble]

A good wife is hard to find. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.

[@fivebooks8498]

The problem is a woman can be a good wife for many years. She will be a good wife as long as you are her best option. Then one day the right guy comes along and she thinks he’s better than you and she cheats and leaves.

[@Jer20.9]

My experience is, if she rarely or never apologises, you are in a really bad situation. Everyone sins, and if someone denies that it must be a big red flag. She would sometimes admit "I'm not perfect ", which says nothing.

[@terrymeadows1827]

You are such a welcomed voice of reason of how we are to love others for their own sake. Thank you.

[@michelchalmers]

Thank you for confirming my feelings

[@EncounterWithOpenHeavens]

Some Wives and apologies, is like the difference between oil and water, they never mix! Mercy

[@rmorales3718]

Quick summary. Before we got married the plan was to sell her place and move into mine. Mine was newer, bigger, could fit us all comfortably and it was about to be paid off. After we got married, I asked about debt. She had about 20k in credit card and car note debt. We agreed id pay it off for her, not as a gift but a free loan. We talked about it so that she could start saving and have a sense of freedom. 1 year later she still hasn't sold, 16 months later still hasn't moved and states that I made her take the money, that I forced her. Says she doesn't have to pay it back. Beyond that, never a thank you, never a compliment, and to this day of separation never an apology. Every hateful thing she has said to me was, " well I said that because you did this, it was because of you, you made me react that way." I love my wife and want her back. We married for a reason. I miss you SSM

[@John_Wood_]

they want it both ways always. I'm going thru a divorce with children and dealing with someone just like that. You can imagine the hassle, and of course the lawyers are having a field day due to her nonsense and greed.

[@APHill-ip8qt]

You deserve what you tolerate.

[@andyjones3304]

My ex (gf) of over 2 years wanted me to build her a house on her dad's property, with my money, without my name on the deed! When I declined and said we needed our own space, I "wasn't trying".... Sometimes as men we turn our logical brains off because we "love her", but it almost always ends badly.

[@rmorales3718]

@@andyjones3304 you are absolutely right. We and you thought with you loving, husband, team for the combined future mind set. The goals for the marriage and family versus selfish and individual. We loved and lost ourselves. Thank you.

[@OtsuDC]

Narcissistic abuse man. It’s not your fault that she abused you.

[@gort5583]

While in general most women have a strong commitment to themselves and their children they have little commitment to their husband unless it has been forced upon them as it was prior to divorces. Most see husbands as resource objects that provide a means to an end. Like any resource, its usefulness or capacity can diminish or deplete thereby becoming less necessary and more a burden as most of what women do in a relationship is emotional labor.

[@douglasvirtue3575]

I just found your channel. I am now subscribed. I did not realize so many people are suffering like this. Do you have a pod cast? I would love to speak with you. My (lady) has been gaslighting me, bad mouthing me to everyone who doesnt know me and pretty much just doing all the horrible things you talk about throughout all your videos I have watched in the last couple of days. She wanted me to do something today and I said sure but I want something in return. She says, I am not having sex! I laughed, I said I want sex or you watch this 13 minute video. I actiually got her to watch your video because I required her to keep her part of the bargain(this time) because I would only do what she wanted then. The rest of the day was quite pleasant. I think she is really nasty because not only am I a good man but a strong man and I will not allow her to emasculate me. I laugh at her bs antics ang gently mock her while still being kind and supportive. My kindness is the cruelest response I can think of and it really pisses her off. Your videos are truly well thought out and presented in a way that makes us men realize we are not alone and hopefully encourages all these broken unhappy women to look inward and hopefully help them get started on their journey to healing and happiness. God bless you

[@waldenmathews8059]

You nailed it again.

[@Brody.W]

Thanks again.

[@ckelly5141]

I’m a husband and not a camper at all, but I have to tell you that I am definitely a believer in camp-take-responsibility for my wife. I am optimistic that this will improve over time.

[@JerkoFlapdoodle]

Great video. My ex apologized but never changed her destructive behaviors (including dressing up my son as a girl when I was not around, and racking up $10k in excess credit card debt multiple times). She doubled down within two weeks to two months after every apology. Granted, she might have a personality disorder and be unfixable, but she also might not, and if you're a man in a similar situation in a marriage, you often don't know. But if more and more women *publicly held* views such as yours (they made accountability an important *feminist* or *feminine* value), the odds are higher that my ex or many other women would have the husband confronting his wife's behaviors as valid, and even urgently needed, because the necessary social proof would be looming in the background of her mind.

[@ytbenavraham9553]

I'd love to talk with you. Your wise. With my wife twenty-five years, she never apologized. Never. Happy wife happy life is idiocy

[@rougebaba3887]

I came to an emotional breaking point where out of me poured incident after incident where my wife treated me in some very horrible ways - emasculating, disrespectful and oft times contemptuous. And what was her reaction? There where a few different ways she acted... - She claimed to not remember them, going so far as to say I was having "false memories", and acting concerned about my mental health. - She brought up my failures, times when i reacted to her on going emasculation, disrespect and outright emotional abuse (not to mention, complete sexual rejection of me) by looking for satisfaction outside the marriage. It has always amazed me - if I truly had zero desire for a woman I was with (I do mean she had ZERO desire for me sexually) I wouldn't be with that person. And I sure wouldn't give a crap what she did with herself. So what and who cares? Go knock yourself out. - She focused on minor details that I recalled wrong - "That wasn't on New Years. That was on your sister's birthday." Or, "I remember talking to you about that necklace, but it wasn't that morning. It was later in the day." As if that makes any difference whatsoever on how vile she behaved. Oh, and I put all this stuff in writing, pouring my heart out to her in a series of text messages that i later regretted sending. Why did I have regrets? Well, because she saves that shit. Hell she has seen comments I made hear on KZbin and taken pictures of them to store away as ammunition for later use. Hi honey, make sure you get a clear shot of this one!

[@Leslie-es5ij]

Because she signed the til death do us part clause !

[@Brody.W]

Thanks! For becoming my only biological mother in Christ Jesus of Nazareth. Amen and amen.

[@chuckgoodman3828]

Accountability is women’s kryptonite.

[@J0nnyTheJ3w]

I really think many women (and men) need to read Fight Right by the Gottmans. I've never been married, but reading it has made me not only realize my own shortcomings when it comes to conflict (avoiding issues, giving in too easily), but how one-sided and kinda toxic my previous relationships were at times. I was expected to know what's going on in her head and feelings, and when of course I didn't because I'm not a mind-reader, resentment grew. Even when I did jump that avoidance barrier and try to have a meaningful conversation, I was always met with "I don't know" or "I'm fine". Men may have some trouble putting words to their own emotions, but we're not stupid. We know when something's up. More people need to take accountability for not only voicing their needs calmly and clearly, but to how they treat their partner. Voicing needs shouldn't be paired with ridicule, blame, or contempt.

[@arniep740]

My ex never ever acknowledged her part in ANY of our problems. Totally defensive and completely unwilling to be accountable or willing to change or apologize for ANYTHING! EVER! So grateful that she is now my EX. Good luck to her next victim!

[@nosotrosloslobosestamosreg4115]

Wahman are committed to their whimps and feelz only.

[@mattg1889]

This is all just How to be a decent human being 101. Why do women not think that basic decency and respect applies to their marriages like it does the rest of their relationships?

[@nomansland6376]

Absolutely this! Sadly, I had to end my last relationship because of these very things. I wanted to marry her so badly.. but knew I couldn’t without these very traits 😞

[@denhams9743]

Amen!

[@allinfortheKing]

My wife spent $8000 on a phone game while in charge of our family finances when we had limited income and 4 young children. No apology, ever. Somehow it was still my fault

[@TheKingsComingAlefTav]

I wonder if this woman is going to be hated as much as the Transformed Wife

[@jaywagner2321]

She’d be in good company with Lori. 🙂

[@TheKingsComingAlefTav]

@@jaywagner2321 maybe they need to get together do some videos some collaborations to stir the satanic spirits

[@nerychristian]

She should collaborate with Pearl too

[@RameshRangarajan-r8m]

So a bit unrelated but is it wrong that I don't like my wife dining, houng out for lunch, coffee dates with her boss/co worker/client of the opposite gender during business trips as well when she is working in the office? Office lunch or dinner with more collegues of both gender for an occasion im fine with it as long as it's not too frequent and overly friendly. I find this very much inappropriate much more during business travels with her male boss or male client or male coworker . It feels like a date. I don't buy the reason about discussing business at a lunch or dinner outside their office or client office. Because i believe there is no business topic that you would potentially discuss that couldn't be discussed during your work time or during meetings in the office or client office. If it was an office cafeteria or client cafeteria that's a different thing but would prefer if it was still strictly business/work related talk and maybe casual stuff but not some friendly or the whole 'getting to know that guy personally' BS. I just feel this way because these things are all outside of work and i see no for her to go out with another guy. Edit: people say i need to trust her that she won't cheat or flirt or give unwanted attention to another guy but its hard to trust when she gets in to these situations. Also sure they are her client, boss or co worker but to me those other dudes she wants to talk & spend time with outside of work related reasons.

[@wbtittle]

Yet another place my wife does okay. She doesn't spend money on a lot of things. But she is the epitome of not understanding time is money. She is the Director who is driving to Walmart, the Dollar Store and Goodwill to minimize the cost of the stuff she needs to run camp. Things I cannot quite point at. The big circle is around # kids who are serviced by the camp vs # husbands not serviced by wife. Anyone triggered by the word serviced probably needs help.

[@stephenyoho148]

Why would my wife apologize she's never done anything wrong it's all me

[@Brody.W]

Thanks! For being my only biological mother in Christ Jesus of Nazareth. Amen and amen.

[@kat-601]

My wife is trying l'll give her that but she still cant say lm sorry or she was wrong.

[@nate6103]

Can you do a video on minor porn addictions? (Once a week usage, not life impacting) My wife is convinced it’s willing unfaithfulness and we are separating because of it.

[@davidgold5961]

If it is only once a week, it is not an addiction. And it does have a useful place in a man’s life from time to time. It is not 100% evil.

[@nate6103]

@@davidgold5961 unfortunately I can’t change my wife’s feelings. She is willing to throw 18 years of marriage with three kids away over that “boundary”. Everyone else I talk to says she’ll regret it but I’m done trying to get her to let her walls down. Starting to look forward to separating.

[@nerychristian]

If you are married, why do you need porn? Just have sex. Or just use your imagination when masturbating

[@quartermainegames]

Are you denying her intimacy because of your usage? Otherwise she's just looking for an excuse to leave you. I'd say let her go.

[@nate6103]

@@quartermainegames no issues with intimacy, in fact I ask frequently and get rejected every time until she is ready. My usage has had no impact on our physical relationship.

[@mchlhwrdjnsn]

thats hilarious... a woman being accountable. #notgonnahappen

[@mrs.kpbailey]

❤

[@BrolyPowerMaximum]

This channel directs this at women, but it might as well just be about toxic people. Maybe it’s good though, because there really has been a concerted effort in our western societies that men are inherently bad and women are inherently good, and men are always perpetrators, and women are always victims

[@dirkhamilton2709]

10 Amazon packages a week? Between my wife and sister-in-law living with us, it’s more like three a day

[@red7fifty]

Shana, take the wax out of your ears! *To Kathy also!

[@CushRayman]

Please stop being mental and enjoy life, ladies.

[@nikhileshasanvigyan7908]

One needs to meet you to actually believe you are a real woman or this is all an AI generated video stream?

[@KnightLight4444]

Why is this rare, humble woman not a Christian? Or is she?

[@themancuniancandidate2744]

The notion that being a Christian somehow makes someone a better person is laughable. The more pious a person is, the less I trust them.

[@b.d.hooten1785]

@@themancuniancandidate2744 So you honestly can't see that she's preaching biblical principles on the roles of husband and wife?! Thats cute. All ethics and morals are founded in God's word and law - anyone saying different hasn't yet found their authentic self.

[@themancuniancandidate2744]

@@b.d.hooten1785 really? Ok. Sell me your children then. God expressly condones slavery in the Bible (Lev 25:44-46). Tell me more about those good biblical morals.

[@JasperElvenSky]

​​​@@b.d.hooten1785 no. Ethics and morals are rooted in evolutionary biology and culture. Reciprocity is an obvious algorithm for any social species. Attributing all this to alleged communications by "God" in written form, at this point in history, several centuries into the scientific Enlightenment era, is willfully ignorant. As any scholar of biblical texts who isn't a radical fundamentalist cult victim will tell you, "the Bible" is a collection of texts written by human beings, the purposes of which were about gaining power for a priesthood. They aren't "words of God." And if you insist they are, then read Matthew 15 and ask yourself if you're an Israelite. Christianity was plucked from obscurity by the megalomaniacal Emperor Constantine and his henchman Eusebius and imposed on the Greco-Roman Empire in 325 CE even though the religion was made up by Jews, for Jews. It was never meant for non-Jews, and that's plainly stated in multiple texts of "the Bible," including everywhere in the ethnosupremacist Old Testament as well as in Matthew 15 in the NT. Read Russell Gmirkin's books, Richard Carrier's books, and RG Price's book "Deciphering the Gospels" to learn more. The fact is that "Jesus" is an imaginary archangel promoted by the Apostle Paul, who was the real founder of Christianity. It will take you some time and reading to understand the scholarship behind that assessment. There's also an excellent scholarly website called vridar.org you should check out, and if you're able to put up with an unpleasantly caustic tone, Jesusneverexisted.com is very good on summarizing the scholarly evidence. Free your mind. Let go of illusions. The world isn't controlled or directed by an angry, genocidal Jewish man behind the sky (the OT "God"), nor by a milquetoast wandering preacher from two thousand years ago. The Gospels are works of allegorical fiction (and that is well understood by scholars, and indeed by many of today's priests and pastors). The priests who told that tale were power-hungry con men, nothing more.