How to know you're bad in bed (& how to get better)

💋MY GUIDE TO LASTING LONGER IN BED💋
www.caitlinvneal.com/come-whe...
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00:00 Start
01:00 Most women won't tell you that you're bed...
02:42 Sign #10: She doesn't initiate
03:38 Sign #9: She rushes you
04:34 Sign #8: You F&*K Like a Porn Star
05:17 Sign #7: It's the same EVERY time
06:08 Sign #6: You Don't Communicate
07:05 Sign #5: She is not comming EVERY time
08:10 Sign #4: You don't laugh or cry
09:17 Sign #3: You are disconnected to your pleasure
Sign #2: You Finish TOO Fast
Sign #1: You Lack Confidence
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________________________________________________________
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#CaitlinV

[@lordsalisbury1]

Unfortunately a lot of women are bad lovers too. The problem for men or women is usually the same: ego or entitlement (or laziness).

[@buckministerjoe]

A women doesn't have to do anything for good sex but to just be hot. Giving good head is a plus but i typically don't date women that don't like to do it on the regular

[@Ronin-um6lc]

It's a sad fact of life, that some woman are not great in bed, and take offence when you suggest they take some initiative. It's a total partnership, which implies in this case the input of 2 people, not just one

[@skinnygumbo9555]

Sex is not only a you thing. The quality of sex is sometimes partner dependent, whether it is him or her.

[@isaacmettle]

The fact that you’re trying to improve makes u a winner

[@staLkerhu]

Really?

[@M4miata]

I love your radical honesty. Please don't ever change!! You are going to make this world so much more fun than it is now. Cheers from California!

[@mikehunt.1609]

The fact is all sex is totally crap unless both parties are being proactive. As a man it doesn't matter what you do if she is just going to lie there through out like a dead fish!

[@rabidgator6473]

Well….this video proves exactly what I thought, about how I am in bed….. I’m worse than I thought, I knew I was bad , I just didn’t realize how bad I am. I relate to each point, and not to mention what I was told; I was told just after we finished, I said something and then her response was “don’t worry you’re fine”. We all know what it means when a woman says “fine”, it means it ain’t fine, good, or even capable of getting better.

[@briangaribay2854]

I’m with you bro. 6 out of the 10 points hit me square between the eyes. The “using her body to masturbate” line was brilliant and perfectly true. Ouch.

[@rabidgator6473]

@@briangaribay2854I recalculated, and I made a 15 out of 10.

[@krisp1969]

I’m convinced that my boyfriend uses me to masterbate. 😞

[@larsegholmfischmann6594]

Production value has really taken a step up in your vids! Love it, looks super good :)

[@andreiadetavora8471]

I know i'm not a guy, but i really needed to hear what you've just said about getting off every time. I never could, although i can reach an orgasm by being alone, in 3-5 minutes! Its crazy. I always thought it was my problem. And i was very afraid to tell my past partners this (i only had 2 partners in 10 years). What i wanted to tell you is: thank you!! I will try to comunicate more with my next bf and will try to think differently about it! New sub for sure

[@Snarge22]

Just recently I was listening to a relationship channel (Sarah Dawn Moore) who mentioned that having conversations on the subject long before the bedroom was extremely helpful. Just this simple suggestion was like getting punched in the chest for me So very simple, yet it never occurred to me. There's a lot that's bad about the internet, yet there are some incredible gems that can make one's life so much better.

[@smokehashxuriahjahvid]

The crazy part is mentioning anything about sex is the quickest way to get ghosted or to never get laid or get a second date... If women could be more open to sexual conversations we could TALK about it and know preferences or things to avoid... But women are so closed off sexual that these conversations don't happen we just go at it blindly 😂😂

[@gavster023]

​@@smokehashxuriahjahvidyeah agree my gf doesn't come I say what are your fantasies what do you like, what's gets you off alone what do you think about when you mastabate, nuthing ,she like it's fine. She doesn't like foreplay won't let me go down even kiss her and seems to want it to end quickly. What doesn't make sense is she been promiscuous before cheated on all her exs high body count (100ish) and seemed to love sex

[@eber.rodlop]

I love how authentic you are on this video!! Thank you for sharing all this human aspects of the sexual expression. ❤

[@Snarge22]

40 years ago this information just wasn't as available. In fact, most people didn't know to even ask questions, or worse yet really communicate about this subject with their partners. It feels like such a loss to me being so clueless for so very long.

[@kennethbaker5223]

It takes a lot to admit that you can improve at something that you believe you're good at! Great video!

[@EddietheBastard]

I think I'm pretty good - but work on improving every time - I've even taken up desiging sex toys where I can't find a product/technique that will do what I want.

[@gamealholik]

random forplay tip assuming your comfortable with your partner you could always try humming a tune(might want to double check which one with her) while nibbling on her downstairs can be a nice way to switch it up assuming it works for you the way it does for me

[@blisssenseripzyzz4evermiri176]

not really, all it takes is being a man, a beta male doesn't recognize weaknesses nor ignorance, that's 60-70% of males in the world. Real men on the other hand recognize everything and work hard to improve at it because of self improvement, not because of trends or fashion.

[@alexanderosborne3877]

Great video! I know what points I can improve on. Thank you!

[@michaelcushman]

Great video, and the guys who need to hear this the most aren't watching videos like this.

[@546Scott]

Ya know I watched a few of your videos and just subscribed. I truly love all of your information even if I may disagree a bit, you always bring up IMPORTANT points for both sides. Thank you!!

[@samcotten2416]

This is all so incredibly useful. Thank you, Caitlin.

[@HomeRunRealEstate-xi3rm]

You should have more subscribers, your a very high vibration... Changed my perspective and educated me...

[@chrismontgomery3396]

Do you have tips on getting your partner to communicate? I've been trying to get my wife to open up more for the past 10 years...

[@SatyreIkon]

Same. I don't need communication lessons in themselves anymore, I'm decent at talking about my and others' likes and dislikes, but someone who won't open up can be VERY hard to deal with and it would be good to get some tips there. Like, I've been trying to talk to my ex-wife about her preferences for YEARS, but all I got back was "I won't give you a f***ing manual for my body, give it some effort, I should be worth you doing the work, show me you love me!" And I have tried, oh how I've tried, lots of things. Some she actually enjoyed, some she was like "wtf you think you're doing there?", and she dragged me into full-blown fights about it (mind you, all of those were acts not centered around MY fantasy, which might warrant such a reaction, but HER pleasure). In the end sex was just becoming an unwelcome chore. But since then we've settled our differences, had a divorce, remain good friends (we can even talk openly about our sex lives now, look at that!), and now that I'm with new partners I realize how valuable and effective good communication is when it comes to sex. They are open about their likes and dislikes, I can approach them with scenarios they or I would like to try, I can actually talk to them DURING sex without "ruining the mood"... wonderful. 😌 So yeah: Everyone should communicate, and it would be great to get some advice on how to create a space where your partners feel comfortable to open up when they are shy or unwilling to communicate.

[@marcusdarkallius1194BC]

Loving your content!

[@danielalbornoz2441]

Im loving your new look Caitlin 👀

[@michaelmclaughlin1958]

Am I the only only guy who thinks that if we had a woman like Caitlin as our lover, we’d have no issues with sex?

[@johnn.marshall4566]

💯

[@sam56094]

Yeah until she starts doing exactly what they all do once that honeymoon phase over

[@ammasophia4663]

Sadly, there are men who really don't want to know how to give a woman pleasure. Hard to believe men cannot be enticed into wanting better sex, but if HE only thinks about what he wants and is convinced all women just want lesbian sex (no penetration) there is no hope.

[@RAvery-cy2ei]

Thank you for all, and special for the amazing work you’ve done on this video.

[@davidchristian2368]

Fabulous stuff Caitlin

[@tangamanga94]

Thank you for making this video. It gave me a different perspective of my intimacy with my wife.

[@kimalexanderolsen1744]

10 years since last time (and also first), i'm certain i would be terrible under the sheets. But after following this channel, and learning quite a bit, maybe next time (if there will be one) it will be much better than expected.

[@neveridle]

dont be eager for that my man, its the tip I can give you. Everytime I get eager to have a relationship or even just sex, things get fucked up. The best relationships and sexes Ive had were the ones that came out of nowhere (meant I wasnt trying hard to get those). Trying hard is for games only. You need to take it easy on relationships. Easier said than done, I know, you'll realise that by yourself. Also there is no shame in seeking help with therapy or other relationship related stuff, but BEWARE for scam and courses. Legitimate help will have private sessions to cater to your specific needs. Courses are generic and counter intuitive (IMO) towards helping your specific case.

[@DangerBear365]

I love your video ❤ they are always so amazing.

[@akadirnilavane2861]

Useful tips!

[@ToPlease]

Thanks for your service. 🤘🏾

[@shanewilder3638]

Thanks for the videos❤

[@walzy1981]

I think it’s great to learn and it’s good to think you are not good and to always want to be better for your partners and especially if it’s your life partner

[@fishingwithfilitsa]

Great video👍👍

[@aelfredrex8354]

I heard it once described in a perfect word, "Cliteracy".

[@jerrychubb6168]

I'm not a bad lover, but I know I have work to do. Thanks Caitlin!

[@Hector34562]

You should always be open to improve even if you’re really good

[@hetapolski]

honest and good video

[@malcolmgibbs2296]

Thanks for the advice

[@gregorycampbell9967]

Oh my! I’ve got LOTS of work to do!

[@Pewpew1789]

I will never have the opportunity to anything you talk about but I still find it interesting thanks for all the hard work making these videos

[@sircorkysriley4904]

may i ask why???

[@Pewpew1789]

Well some people are good at meeting girls but I am not very social. And I can’t exactly afford to go out and find someone it kinda sucks seeing people happy around me so I just stick to my home

[@sircorkysriley4904]

I know and understand. I am not very social either. I live in Canada and it is so expensive now no one can hardly feed themselves. Where do live?? 👣👣@@Pewpew1789

[@cassu6]

@@Pewpew1789 What a self limiting belief...

[@Pewpew1789]

@@cassu6 what?

[@terencehernandez9646]

I wish I knew a girlfriend like Caitlin V who is so very knowledgeable on this subject!

[@terrywilliams2349]

Great video!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@Nnmtes]

Communication IS key.

[@Karxar1as]

There is always room to improve

[@steventwiddy3402]

I have always been build for comfort and not for speed and have always had low self esteem so I would watch or read anything I could find to be the best I could be in bed so that I would get invited back for more and always make sure she always gets hers first !

[@shanecabbage2187]

Hmm, I can see that first bit of advice causing some problems. While I agree that most people do not seek out mediocre things but often do seek out awesome ones, claiming that to be the main reason women do not ask for or initiate sex is way more complicated. The No. 1 reason women at my work give is that they are overwhelmed. They work a full-time job, then go home to another full-time job. The burden of cleaning, laundry, preparing meals, etc. simply overwhelms them. Sex is a luxury. And at the end of a long day, they have lost any interest. It is also my opinion, based on recent studies, that as women age, their testosterone level drops (just like a guy's), and that has an effect as well. A few women, I know, who are receiving testosterone therapy, say their desire has come back to when they were in their 20s. Now, in no way am I implying that men should not follow your teaching, quite the opposite. I just hope men aren't only working on improving their game when getting those chores done would make a bigger contribution.

[@briangaribay2854]

Thank you so much for this video on this topic. It has opened my eyes and helped me realize a lot of hard truths. 6 out of the 10 points hit me square between the eyes. The “using her body to masturbate” line was brilliant and perfectly true. Ouch. My wife has no sex drive, and now I know why. I have felt, for a very long time, that she was only having sex with me out of obligation. Performing her wifely duties. And this now backs up that point.

[@ryaningold953]

See you guys next week!🎉🎉🎉

[@steveco1800]

Takes two to tango, if she doesn’t know what she wants and doesn’t guide or give feedback, then how am I to magically understand how it feels to her (without being same sex).

[@andreiadetavora8471]

Yes! Communication is key! Just talk with each other :)

[@dr.hugog.hackenbush9443]

Listen to her body. It will tell you what it wants if you know how to listen to it.

[@peterharrell7305]

Just read her mind. Duh. You're supposed to just know every trick and pick the right one at the right time, everytime. Chop chop, bitch!

[@bradthurkle7217]

One 100 percent but. Besides,they mite not be as good in bed as they think they are or just maybe they couldnt give two squirts of goats piss.some women are just money driven and lazy.

[@kbanghart]

Explore

[@robertdeen8741]

If I'm too turned on and want to last longer, I do my times tables in my head. May sound odd or funny but it works for me.

[@Brnkid13]

I used to think about baseball

[@rcaminos]

Now do a list of signs if you’re a great lover

[@nhearts]

I've had a few lovers who couldn't make me finnish. It goes both ways

[@PapaRunebeard]

i missed the part on how to improve her bedplay

[@JessicaChastainFan]

Making a woman come repeatedly is not unique to dudes, nor are they born with the knowledge of it. All that skill comes from women, who are the best teachers. Each one feels differently, and probably doesn't like what you tried on a previous woman. You always adjust to each individual woman to learn every trick of the trade. Drop the ego and have your tongue take notes. Great video! 👍

[@bradthurkle7217]

Its a two way street dont forget that.

[@patrickplummer1027]

Caitlin is 1 beautiful Lady, inside and out

[@martincote6499]

It is 07:32 hrs, 12 December 2023. I haven't watched the video yet, but I will. I wonder what Caitlin will say about communication... MTF

[@kazadikashama6098]

Waoh ! That's tough to watch

[@vincemilley2124]

My confidence is up and down...lol

[@santiagocantuborjas9060]

I'm not going for skill I'm just trying to make it pleasurable for both of us.

[@benperry2412]

"Your body made a fart" LOL I think it's called a Beaver bark! (There cute once your into each other)

[@Lonewolf21371]

Why is it there are always videos about men being bad or needing improvements. In my lifetime ive met some women that could definitely use improving in the bedroom. Women need to work on things too.

[@smokehashxuriahjahvid]

What nobody is realizing and nobody ever mentions in these videos ALL WOMEN ARE DIFFERENT there is times i perform great because me and a woman have natural good sex chemistry.. Other times me and a woman dobt have so great a sex chemistry so i dont perform as well. Yea experience is one thing, comminicating with your persons sexual needs is another. But the biggest factor of it all is natural sexual chemistry thats the main deciding factor 💯💯

[@John-eo2bq]

(0.5 + 0.5)/10 - so room for improvement!

[@earlejames8475]

Hey There Catlin. What's the code to making an older women 69 & 1/2 interested again. She has pain during intercourse . And due to a medical issue she can only take limited estrogen (suppositories) We do use lube but due to to her condition (pain with intercourse) sex is very limited . Any suggestion on other things to try. I'm deprived

[@Pault3788]

I'm sure I would be terrible💯

[@alexlackner1945]

Laughing during sex... works & is important during foreplay and aftercare, but when it gets really hot & nasty i don't want it.

[@markwalton3982]

Yep, except that when you try all the ways to improve and they still don't want to change. At all. Ever.

[@sitvisjes]

You know, some woman are starfish just laying there. It can make a man very uncomfortable to have such a passive bedpartner and ofcourse he will be ''bad in bed''. The wilder a bedpartner is the better i perform, it's all about chemistry and connection.

[@johnn.marshall4566]

Yep 💯

[@cur244]

What makes it difficult for guys is women often have a ton of shame about sex so they just flat out refuse to talk about it. If women communicated about it things could be really good. Instead guys have to figure it out from other women on KZbin.

[@peterharrell7305]

Cool, now do women. Im tired of being the only one in the relationship who is required to constantly improve.

[@Eric-gt7jz]

There are posts like this for women, quite a lot actually and not just for sex. You know what you see in the comments, women complaining about being the only ones improving and their partners not caring about their pleasure. Focus on yourself, you can’t force others to change. Maybe what you need to improve on is how to find someone with a growth mindset.

[@skinnygumbo9555]

I'm with ya, man. A lot of content makers send the message that we are idiots, and perpetually under performing. I don't think they do it on purpose. Caitlin is pretty good about keeping it equal

[@Sir_Scrumpalicious]

She did a video two months ago about how women can be better in bed.

[@kbanghart]

It never takes long for insecure guys to get triggered😂

[@AllSeeingThai]

You’re a serial hater on this channel bro lol. Your last comment on this channel is literally “these tips are all only about how to help women” like bro choose a side

[@user-uj1dz4de5p]

What if my Testosterone is low will the doctors on the website work with me to get my levels up

[@TJ-Studies-and-Plays]

Oh I like you🎉

[@tonymarinelli7304]

I’m Italian, it’s in our DNA, no fantasy land here.

[@jaydavidson6736]

I’m very bad at it 😢

[@cheesyrobman]

Disconnected to your pleasure: yeah that's known as being on SSRIs (aka anhedonia).

[@herrchamping96]

teach me all please.

[@v8interceptor134]

Being told to tell them when you’ve finished could be taken as a sign you are bad in bed

[@kbanghart]

But also It works the other way around, too. Me and my wife tell each other when we finished and it's fun

[@BCSchmerker]

+caitlinvictoriousx *Ye forgot two* (prehaps three) *timestamps!* 10:10 *2. You finish too fast* 10:52 *1. You lack confidence* 11:51 *Outro*

[@kennethhawkins2651]

This is great for increasing my anxiety with sex.

[@BRSmith182]

All this video did for me was kill the little bit of confidence I had. I know I'm not perfect and there's always room to improve, but damn. Being told I'm BAD in bed because some of these apply to me isn't very encouraging and very disheartening.

[@kbanghart]

Try not to get too discouraged. When I heard the very first one listed, about her not initiating, that happens with me and my wife all the time and we've been married for many years and have a good sex life

[@AverageDIYDad]

So 2 questions…. What if almost half of the listed tips may be true and number 10 is by far not the issue! Would sending this video to her be a big mistake or help?

[@samwheller]

I will learn what you want, are you willing to learn what I want though? I mean, if you supposedly want it as much as I do.

[@holderofpots]

I don’t seem to have any of these problems

[@johnnewnam7775]

Not every woman is orgasmic for many reasons. Here is where the experts need to be narrating these videos and not lay persons (no pun intended). . The guys or gals that are willing to stay in those relationships where there may be physiological or psychological barriers need to ignore these types of videos. They don't need someone telling them they are not good lovers. They may be the greatest lovers in the world and more so the greatest partners in and out of bed. This lady needs to end her videos with a disclaimer. She is no expert.

[@stop.juststop]

Whataboutism

[@neveridle]

lol I came here thinking I would feel bad and aside from acknowledging Ive been a little stale lately, everything else doesnt relate to me! Im feeling better after the video hahaha. Time to get more creative.

[@andressaltos633]

😂 dang I have work to do ..

[@joebloggs1321]

And I taught my job was stressful,

[@charlesbradford7233]

like the video, but nothing here applies to me, women many times have told me I am a great lover. It is a quality they don't see by looking at me, only if they are open minded are they amazed.

[@sam56094]

Love this video and how a women can help shed the truth . However This video is prime reason why men are better with option or have no care to commit . Sex for men is a 1-2 process while for women it’s like going to back to highschool /college all over again, the most frustrating part is women are the bad lovers cause they fail to communicate what they like/dislike , but men get the blame for doing a bad job while thinking they are doing fantastic cause their spouse is misleading and lying the entire time . 😂

[@fyren8]

So how to get confidence if you are bad in bed…

[@ryaningold953]

Benefits the winter marriage. Stability 22% better. Satisfaction 20% better. Sex 15% better.

[@offairhead]

👍🏻

[@levihorn299]

I always think I’m bad. But my gf says I’m good so idk? 🤷‍♂️

[@Guythatsometimescomments]

10. Maybe, not always. 9. Maybe, not always. 8. Maybe, not always. 7. Maybe, not always. 6. Yes, absolutely. Cannot be emphasized enough. 5. Maybe, not always. 4. Seems like hyperbole, but ok. 3. Maybe, not always. 2. Maybe, not always. 1. Maybe, not always.

[@kygrazing]

I was 10 out of 10 and I know my wife is a liar!

[@DeviN99de]

For sure, but most women are horrible as well. I only hear about men being bad, though.🤔

[@magdebates2697]

im so good in bed that whan im finished the neighbours have a cigarette lol .

[@princewuz]

As much as i liked this video and it gave me a chance for some introspection, I feel it was specifically directed at men. Is it possible a similar vodeo could be done aimed at women? Whilst i feel there would be some crossover for the reasons, there ate likely to be other causes for why men develop a lack of interest for sex...

[@CaitlinV]

I do have a video on the same subject for women :)

[@princewuz]

Lovely thanks

[@Ed-fb7zn]

A key point in almost every point Caitlyn made, is communication. Quick question. Which one of your videos focusses on communication only, and how do I get my wife of 30 years to communicate her needs to me. I have been initiating for 30 years and at the point where I don’t even enjoy sex anymore. Yes I have asked her to initiate in the past. Happens once or twice then nothing. Do I have to be completely blunt about my current feelings and all of a sudden she’s the “victim” I’m convinced that the majority of women will not even watch any videos on how to communicate with a man. I guess I have initiate for sex, and initiate for communication and just deal with the fallout that I’m a bad person for suggesting such a cray thing. Thank you for letting me vent.

[@danielbeiersr3642]

My wife never has, never does initiate anything involving sex, talking, foreplay, physical! Never!

[@jonaslafleur2429]

Ouch,deal with a pro.

[@HeMakesGirlzPoop]

🎉🎉😅