How to Love Family When You Disagree

[@judakimberly6551]

From the bottom of my heart, I sincerely appreciate your advice, Dr. John! I'll write back in a couple of months with updates.

[@dudeofdudes678]

Your story truly touched me, I am trying to accept who I am and work through my anxiety and attention issues as well. I have tried the stimulant prescriptions, and they can help, but recently I've had some negative side effects that have taken me off of them. So thank you for stepping up and calling Dr. John. :)

[@Susq15]

I'm uncomfortable with the blanket term "toxic" and the idea of cutting anyone with flaws out of your life, without following the admonition to "examine the log in your own eye." Instant, white-hot rage seems like an issue that should have been followed up.

[@zeal4god402]

Don't fuel the toxic conversation, divert it when you know the conversation will be fruitless anyway and...love the person anyway

[@Onehottherapist]

It’s a book called “Set Boundaries, Find Peace”. Get it, read it and apply the boundaries of ‘hey I totally disagree with your views so to keep me in your life…let’s never bring up these topics”. A person that loves control also loves to control your reactions. This person is getting a thrill out of seeing you rage. It fuels the hate and sadistic seed in his heart. No reaction, set a boundary, and be ready to walk away if you have to. You are not stuck in this relationship. That’s a lie.

[@starlingswallow]

Wonderfully said!

[@b.1162]

I can't even fathom talking to anyone but my husband every day (and even with him, sometimes it's nothing more than a brief recap of the day). What Dr J said is so so so important. "Choose guilt over resentment every time."

[@starlingswallow]

I love that saying too...although I'm not a big fan of guilt!!

[@susiestara0387]

To the caller who called about calling grandma everyday…I agree you do need to set some boundaries. But be gentle. And remember your grandma won’t be here forever. I was in a very similar situation with my grandma before she died. I lost her ten years ago and would give anything to have her back even when though it was difficult especially when I was in college and grad school and was also her main contact and social stimulation. Good luck. I know it’s not easy. Maybe try calling once a week with some letters or postcards in between. She will still know you love her.

[@oppt4u]

Thank you for this episode! I just ordered Scattered Minds to pursue this possibility in my life.

[@arcticbull8845]

I wish we had context on how the person is a bigot or racist. Those words are very objectionable these days and the person may be nether but just a difference in opinion and those words are used sometimes out of place.

[@ingramwifey2016]

I was wondering the same things. Words like bigot and racist are thrown around waaaaaaaaay to freely these days and totally diminishes the meaning of those words. It's seems like everything is racist. So, the person in question could actually be a racist or he could just be normal and this dude is offended by everything 🤔

[@kimberlysmith7625]

Agree. When individuals disagree, many immediately default to the racist narrative in an effort to shut down the other person's perspective. This nonsense needs to stop so that we can get back to having conversations as adults instead of behaving as petulant children.

[@starlingswallow]

Great point! I wish John would have pressed for more details 🙃

[@Susq15]

That was my thought exactly. Maybe John has more info than is offered to listeners. But when math tests, PB&Js, and being on time are labeled racist, people stop believing in the term anymore. I don't accept it at face value anymore...I need evidence.

[@amypeterson1969]

Awesome broadcast today; I love the way you ended the show by singing the chorus. That is soooo something I'd do! 🤣

[@jenniferjohns5087]

Awesome Episode. Thank you. I've got an upcoming conversation with someone important to me about boundaries. I'm not looking forward to it, but I also know I will feel so much better about myself after.

[@starlingswallow]

It sounds to me like this family member is "kind, giving, family oriented, loyal" as a tool and tactic to manipulate. 😞

[@starlingswallow]

"Put up with my bigotry, join me in it...and I will give you my love."

[@user-so1wr2oh1t]

Basically had to stop taking calls from my parents cuz they meddle too much and hang religion over my head. I asked them to stop doing this more than once and they won't so I had to put up the boundaries for my own peace.

[@gotemfishing2190]

Read the book “how to have impossible conversations” by James Lindsay.

[@margaretwitt1434]

Grandma needs to take up Pickleball!

[@CoachRedRochelleStrauss]

What if Megan in Knoxville just organically stopped calling daily. And she just called whenever she feels like it? If her Grandmother throws a guilt trip, validate her feelings and make no excuses.

[@apontelit]

Re: ADD: meds changed my life for the better. No addiction issues.

[@strangeaslife]

Thank you Doc

[@vegangoddess9019]

How do I get to call the show with a question 🙋🏻‍♀️

[@troyspears6470]

Check the description of the video, has the directions to call in

[@vegangoddess9019]

@@troyspears6470 can I send it in writing??? I am too embarrassed to call 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ I have a serious issue in my house 🙄

[@troyspears6470]

@@vegangoddess9019 yes, check the directions

[@vegangoddess9019]

@@troyspears6470 thanks 🙏🏻😊

[@starlingswallow]

@@vegangoddess9019 yes ma'am ♥️ the link sends you to a website where you can call or send an email 🤗

[@whitneyw.7919]

I think it's wrong for someone on the radio to try to convince someone who doesn't want to ex communicate a family member to excommunicate a family member. On the first call, That guy didn't have desire to cut off the bigoted brother and john tried to convince him that was the only way.

[@neodaltiair8624]

I like the show but that’s it. The banter before the show needs to stop or at least be changed.

[@France149]

That's th thing about that 😈👻

[@whitneyw.7919]

When I heard the first call, the guy that he was talking about seems like Dave Ramsey, extremely controlling, maybe minus the bigot part.

[@altx7]

The opening to this episode was too cringe I couldn’t even make it to the calls. So I’ll just leave my normal PSA here. DON’T LISTEN TO DR. DELOONYBIN!!!!!

[@starlingswallow]

What's your issue with him? I've seen multiple comments of yours here on this show. I'm curious. You just don't like him? Or you don't agree with his advice? Maybe you could start your own broadcast YT show and review his show and give your advice....

[@tinam761]

Why add negativity? That’s who you want to be in this world? I’ve seen your comments too; I won’t reply again because this seems like an attention grab and a way to bring more negativity into this world. I won’t read your comments anymore either. You have one life, putting in this kind of energy is not beneficial to YOU or anyone else.

[@user-so1wr2oh1t]

Someone's jealous.