Why Modern Dating Is Such A Mess & How To Find Love That Lasts | Dr. John Delony

Dr. John Delony is a two-time #1 national bestselling author, mental health expert and host of The Dr. John Delony Show. John has two PhDs and over two decades of experience in counseling, crisis response and higher education. He is the author of the bestselling books Own Your Past, Change Your Future, Redefining Anxiety and most recently, Building a Non-Anxious Life.
Today on the show we discuss: Why John believes so many relationships are failing today, effective ways to get the most out of your relationship, how to make intimacy and connection last, harsh truths about why short term relationships are becoming the norm in today’s society, how to know when it’s time to end things, how to fight for your relationship and navigate conflict correctly and much more.
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[@romyvv8258]

I hope every person who's working on themselves to be a better partner will get the same thing in return , a person that can matches their energy.

[@utubefreshie]

Gawd. More people need to hear this! Im a Gen Xer but I grew up in a different country where relationships, family and community are still valued. So I grew up with a different value compass. I've finally met someone that seems to be working out and will work out long-term. But yeah, dating here in America is a nightmare! People treat each other horribly like they're disposable commodities. It's a lack of valuing the other person and mostly because people also don't value themselves. People have so much trauma they're carrying around and imposing upon themselves and others. American culture needs to take a pause, reflect, and heal itself so it doesn't keep going on this self-destructive downward spiral.

[@Beautytrends77]

I’d like to ask which country because my ex was from El Salvador where they were very family oriented and he still seemed to be dating and relating like American culture. He’s been here for at least 15 years which isn’t long so I believe it’s the person and not where they came from!!

[@utubefreshie]

@@Beautytrends77 I'm from the Philippines, where we're still mostly Catholic and traditional.

[@sarahmacdougal2117]

Well said.

[@8thhousealchemist600]

I fail at feeling enough or worthy. When I get a man's advice, it's the same answer. You got to be young, beautiful, confident, caring, nurturing, fun, plus have something special other women don't have. It's exhausting. I spend all this time meeting the baseline while not getting anything I require in return.

[@nmc5657]

Can I ask how hold you are?

[@IndigoHazelnut]

Generally speaking (and this is a generic statement that might not apply to all) most broken families ended up so through emotional dysfunction.. And rather than looking inwards and asking 'what was my part in this', most decide that 'this person was wrong for me'.. Without realising that dysfunction was on both sides. And as long as we point the finger outwards instead of healing that dysfunction, the problem is recurring

[@VioletEmerald]

This is very insightful as part of it. But both people need to be interested at looking at their own part of it. It's always both of them and it usual isn't an even 50/50. Often the problems are 75% one person and 25% the other.

[@singmomalways6262]

I think it’s important to make a distinction between being loyal and being too loyal. I tried so hard to maintain my covenant with my partner that I totally lost my identity. I didn’t talk to anyone l, I accepted behavior that I never thought I would. I was married and I was promised that there would be a re-build and a change. It never came and it’s 20 years later with 3 kids. Everything is harder now. I’m not saying I disagree with what is being said, but I think there are some of us who try too hard for something that destroys us.

[@susancassels5887]

My husband had an addiction. That fact had me believing that my life, and our marriage, was toast unless he quit the addiction and changed. We finally began attending classes that dealt with addicted folks and their spouses and families. In the first class we attended the instructor said, "You cannot change another person, you can only change yourself. Other people tend to change in response to your change." I thought, "Wow, my living my best life is in my control." From reading your comment It sounded as if you may be trying to please and/or make your husband happy which I know from trying is frustrating and impossible. What do you want? Go for it. I wanted to know what love is, and I found my Creator. He has taught me and guided me ever since. ❤ Blessings from above as you press on to discover what Our Father has planned for you. ❤

[@PlayfulJoyful]

Podcasts show how much you like to gossip amongst each other about women.

[@gabrielachavez2781]

I agree bc there is a balance we should have for everything. Best of wishes to you!!

[@kaili1094]

"How can I love you this week?" I love that Dr set up a meeting to discuss/review the week. That's very beautiful to see some of the families doing this.

[@jenniferleigh9275]

So good!

[@jenniferkelly5753]

It says You are Myne and I want to Serve You

[@user-yj7tb5sd3u]

Design something new in a marriage through the various seasons....what a beautiful way to express this.

[@leslieboles6439]

Wow! Where are some more men like this guy?!!

[@CaliCoast805_lovin_life]

Check out his show Dr John Delony show....its full of advice that helps with many different situations. It is helpful and often healing for myself.

[@mariagates473]

Pretty early on in my new relationship but I think I may have found one ❤

[@bobbiemichaelsNyc86]

John has so much wisdom and insight for his age he's helped me through a lot of confusion and relationship issues in the last 4 years. Awesome you bought him on your channel 🗽

[@Mmmmkaaay]

Relationships only lasted longer in the old days because women didn't have any choices. If they lost their husband or left their husband, it would mean financial ruin and poverty. Why is this so hard for people to see?

[@questiona7]

😂what makes you hate women so much?

[@Mmmmkaaay]

@@questiona7 I am a woman. I don't hate them. Why would you say that?

[@LionessKing-k6b]

That’s not 100% true.

[@questiona7]

@@Mmmmkaaay because you’re not 100% correct

[@crystalbee9706]

This comment is true!

[@Blacknight6577]

IMO, our society has been taught to be more selfish than caring for each other and knowing how to please the other person. Of course wanting our own happiness is important, but when ur in a serious relationship that’s not what it’s all about. I believe that’s the main reason why besides every other problem we have

[@flashthecorgi2053]

Thank you for having Dr. Delony back on. I always learn from him. He’s the BEST!!! You asked him some really great questions too.

[@smallhouseinthemeadow6131]

When the other person holds contempt for you is when it is time to leave. Besides that, try to stick it out;especially if there are kids involved. I left my ex and screwed up my family and it has haunted me ever since.

[@johannacampos85]

This hit home so much. After 14 yrs my husband just stopped. Stopped trying, stopped wanting, and even starting saying I was controlling. He is right when having the feeling of a home and being safe with your person is important. This has been the most hardest time of my life, and he choice his job over his family. It sucks, but ce’ la vie

[@tishataray]

Great interview

[@mcawesomest1]

I wish I could just watch people.. like healthy relationships just to see what they look like

[@VioletEmerald]

Befriend happily partnered people! You then get to witness it firsthand. It's truly amazing to witness. And inspiring to see in action.

[@jenniferkelly5753]

Love listening to Dr John These points are such good morsels to help navigate relationships together. I Statements Wow so we can explain how I received vs attacking with you’re NOT…. Creates Safe Space to Talk it OUT as “One” ❤❤❤

[@dallasscott2317]

So so good.

[@yvonnepittman7525]

I loved this soooo much.

[@athenamurphy1317]

I, as a true fan, can TOTALLY handle Pantera at 5 am. You are welcome at my house!

[@CynthiaHutchinson-c1m]

I'm a true fan too, but I cant handle heavy metal at 5AM. Sorry, dude!

[@JudithRandall-vz1zk]

You have to BE the person you want to marry before you can attract that in a mate. Why would you deserve a partner like that, if you aren't like that?

[@savannahbrewer6161]

Hallmark copyright struck this comment.

[@monikaleszko5343]

Exactly 🎉

[@julieevans3110]

ive heard that before. Honest sentiment, however; if it were true, then 1/2 wedded people, would still be single.

[@monikaleszko5343]

ppl make each other better together ! ❤

[@crystalbee9706]

So, I have to be a bread winner, financially well off, kind, forgiving, mild, assertive, loyal and loving in order to attract a man like that? Ok. I am all of those things so why am I single?

[@renew9016]

John you are right... It's aligned with the Bible.

[@Nonfiction.Reader]

Wonderful advice when you are already in a relationship. How do you find that relationship?

[@golnazkhazeni9976]

This is incredible

[@heathernewman3804]

Excellent podcast

[@CertifiedBookkeeping]

He should ask who’s ending these marriages and why.

[@JusticeSleuth]

28:18 powerful statement.

[@kirthijankypershad8583]

i like how John mentions that men are still banging their heads on the same wall.

[@kimmoussa4994]

People don’t trust that they can be honest with themselves and can’t trust their own feelings enough to be ok so they settle until they see bitter

[@JohnSmith-ij4xe]

Well I have better luck in person than online but 20 years ago it was the reverse. But I let them pick me then I agree or I don’t. Since I get lots of attention I have options so it works. I don’t do social media other the KZbin. I prefer deep conversations so for women it’s hard to keep my attention. Most are not used to guys like me where I give them 0 attention and I’ll just walk away. Looks only good so far but if I don’t feel anything am out or if you rub me the wrong way you can’t fix it.

[@Vi_k_torija]

❤

[@Tyler-Al]

7

[@Sclilcougar]

I disagree soulmates are real