How To Love Yourself When It Feels Hard To

www.heidipriebe.com
Musicbed Sync ID:
MB01XD2ZZE7MZKK

[@tizoned1]

I have watched this 5 times in a week. Have never been this way, thank you a hundred times over for this content, your delivery and all that you are doing. Working on breaking that conditionally acceptance and holding my little guys hand and saying, we can do this together. I am THERE for you.

[@chloechristophe2755]

QQq

[@SaraPerez-kx1hx]

God help you and holy Mary and bless you and heal you

[@onplanetbanana]

I am also on my several-th time as well & just pausing every time something comes up & actually just processing through it. Wooooof

[@Cowface]

That point about the puking baby really resonated with me. I’m 42 and doing lots of work on myself lately and I frequently criticize myself for not learning this stuff like 20 years ago. But I feel like I’m weaponizing my efforts at self improvement against myself

[@hgcalben8241]

You're going to live for another 40 years easy if you take care of yourself. It's not even half time. I'm 42 and working on myself too. Try to look at it from the perspective of I'm glad I can become more of my true self now than discovering it when I'm on my deathbed. Be thankful you get to work towards being your true self while you're young enough to enjoy the next 40 years. Working on your true self, it is a gift be on this journey. So many people don't even get the chance or realization it's an option.

[@ChannelMath]

not your fault. probably you weren't exposed to these ideas earlier.

[@benf1111]

Yep. The ego mind is pretty creative at appropriating even self care and self love to use it as another whipping stick .

[@ConsciousEvolution13]

Same

[@Twistedcrystalcustom]

43 and exactly where you are. I started crying at the beginning of this video and it’s almost over and haven’t stopped yet lol

[@Ciskuss]

As a therapist this is one of the best videos i have ever seen. Thanks a lot

[@datingwithelsa]

I honestly don't know how I would survive the ugly chapter I'm in without you. Thank you for all that you do to heal the world. You have a gift with explaining complex conceps like I've never seen before.

[@Danid2023]

Are you doing ok?

[@datingwithelsa]

@@Danid2023 yes. Thanks for asking. Heidi’s taught me so much about myself and thanks to her, I sought out a therapists who specializes in attachment theory.

[@ChannelMath]

I hope you are (or get) better. You can come here for commiseration and encouragement.

[@tonelove14]

I think there is a true challenge of comparing yourself to a version you thought you would be by now, whether it is owning a home, starting a family, or just simply having your shit together. And often times, we don’t hear the struggles nearly enough of those who helped raise us. Those stories can help us understand more beautifully this thing we call life while helping us recognize how far our caretakers have come and how much effort it does take to get us to the point we currently are.

[@theladyamalthea]

As soon as you began the baby metaphor, I teared up. I have had three babies, and I absolutely loved them unconditionally the second I saw them. They had only caused me pain at that point, but I loved them beyond description. So why don’t I treat myself like that?!

[@randallsmerna384]

Wait til they're teenagers and young adults twisted by lies of the ex demonizing you to the point that they say the ugliest things to you that any human has ever said to you the point that you question whether you all lived the same lives. Then tell me about unconditional love... Ugh!

[@theladyamalthea]

@@randallsmerna384 I don’t have to wait, I’m living that right now. I do still love them unconditionally, because they have been brainwashed by my abusive husband AND my parents and his. It’s not my kids’ fault.

[@Herosoyyo2]

I relate to the immediate impact of this concept. I personally heard it first from Jordan Peterson ("Treat yourself like someone you're responsible for helping") and I also teared up the moment I heard it. It's so obvious, right? And so easy to miss for an entire lifetime.

[@samaramalawwethantri2910]

​@@theladyamaltheaI hope you are doing much better now and I hope they realize how blessed they are to have you as their mother❤

[@theladyamalthea]

@@samaramalawwethantri2910 Thank you. I am doing better, but my kids have not changed at all. I am told it often takes years, not months.

[@satanvoll5005]

Wow I never realized that my love to myself was not love but conditional acceptance. You really opened my eyes! This is a big breakthrough for me THANK YOU

[@ellenlevenson7831]

I can't believe how much more productive it is for me to listen to your videos than it is to sit on a psychiatrist's couch and talk to myself. Thanks for making the effort to pass your clear thinking on to us.

[@lailakhan8892]

Istg

[@julietteferrars3097]

💜

[@user-qx3zv3hy1i]

I realized after struggling with self love is that I never saw it in anyone around me , nobody loves themselves and they don't know what love is but they say it they try to act it out they "perform" joy and love and compassion but nobody is there there when you need them. I feel stagnant, suffocating from everyone including my close companions and I realized that love was care. just caring generally and learned it from a colleague at work the thing is I was very happy feeding of her expression of love but when she went on vacation I was emotionally poor again. I didn't know how to cultivate care for myself towards myself and Im still struggling with this. I feel good after eating a healthy meal but suddenly think that I will not do that again because I didn't deserve to feel good .... I reached a new low and really appreciate these videos. please make more about self love many of us are screaming silently

[@ChannelMath]

yea, "quiet desperation" as the saying goes. You deserve to eat well and feel good.

[@oldjakers5020]

Your description of people around you is reminding me of 85% of the population of Maine where I live. It is hard being surrounded by emotional disconnect and masking for your entire life, and it takes a toll. Keep going and remember that even when surrounded by something like this, you have options, you are worthwhile and worth love.

[@katherinegordon8088]

Im 62, (troubled upbringing-mixed with many mistakes) Im going to keep going and love myself. Thank you Heidi.

[@joannamilano3542]

🌷

[@aprilozuna4402]

Heidi, do not apologize for not consistently making videos. We need you whole and healthy, doing what is best for you! We celebrate you and are excited for the work that you are doing! ❤️

[@wechoosetogether]

beautiful!

[@Jam-m7m]

Thank you. You don’t know how much I appreciate you and I needed this. ❤ 😎. Love Sent I’m 70 years old now

[@AaronAlthaus]

I found this self love, and my life changed as radically as in a rom-com. I needed to be on an antidepressant for 7 months to get there, but now no one can take it from me ^____^

[@rosieone4533]

Would you be willing to share what activities/lifestyle changes you did to reach this stage?

[@dannydiablo.]

I'd like to know too!

[@sheex410]

To me, it's like playing a sport. Some things in life are going to be out of your control and potentially even against you. You're not going to make every play that you have the opportunity to make; your opponent is also going to make plays. This follows the mantra of "bend but don't break." You have to have a short memory and move on to the next play and work to do better, even if you just made the most recent play. The game isn't over until it's over. Likewise, your goal isn't over until you decide it is. Otherwise, you have potentially your lifetime to keep moving towards loving yourself and achieving your goals and living your most authentic life. No one play or missed opportunity defines the outcome of the game; it is the accumulation of the work that you put in, just like the eloquent example of the baby puking. Great video, and maybe my sports analogy helps further conceptualize this idea for those that may need to see it from a different perspective!

[@Oystermato]

I’m seven months into suicidal ideation, starving myself, doing the bare minimum household work, abandoning my physical and emotional needs, hating myself every day. I used to take showers every day and now it’s about once weekly. It’s beyond cruel.

[@plantlovea.7841]

It’s like going into a deep hole that gets darker but I hope you do one thing like take out the garbage and start from there 💖

[@Coriiiina]

Hold in there! I bet you are a kind and loving person, just start with yourself! And remember u don’t have to go through this alone. A therapist can help you navigate this darker period, you are not alone here. A big hug for you! 🤗 and sending u some strength from Spain!

[@makitty_makeupxo]

I’ve been exactly where you are many times in my life. It gets better I promise. Just hold onto younger you and present you❤ I hope you’re doing better than when you posted this. Sending so much love and healing your way.

[@Baptized_in_Fire.]

Been there. Ik this won't help, but it can get better. I hope you find your way. Stay here with us

[@ENSO-wildsound]

Remember to celebrate the things you ARE doing. Like watching amazing KZbin videos to help you grow and heal, leaving vulnerable comments on KZbin, getting out of bed and eating food, putting on clothes. These are great things too 😊

[@hakimchulan]

When you mentioned about conditional love with the baby I cried :( Edit: I cried many many times in the video, thank you so much for showing how we can be kinder to ourselves. You're an amazing youtuber!

[@mysterrieous]

Heidi i got my masters degree 25 years ago but recently dived into attachment theory. Until watching this video today I didn’t realize you are not a PsyD/PhD. I’ve grown even more in my relationship to myself. I’m inspired to become an attachment therapist. Hearing you mention that you are working on your degree encouraged me to know that I’m good enough to start working on content while in my PsyD program. The context of this lesson opened me up to realize what’s been holding me back. Thank you thank you thank you! You’re work is so important! Keep showing up for your own needs and making content when you can. ❤❤❤❤

[@TwoBlackRings]

Priebe, you are an absolute genius. The basic message of this video is so vital. Taken at face value, the words sound positive. A deeper look will move a thinking mind to see them as life-saving. The concept of not giving up on ourselves nor others in the process of growth is not only challenging but yields rewarding results and ultimately true strength and compassion.

[@riggo44able]

It kind of blows me away, how we can get to the bottom of what’s bothering us, by just sitting with ourselves for a little while. I’m so thankful for your channel Heidi. Such a helpful video. Keep up the great work.

[@Song-rh2oi]

Heidi, your comments about sitting in a room with yourself and liking your own company has sent me on a path to find peace with myself. I’ve been trying to sit with myself with no distractions at all, and it has been such a surprising experience. I love it and am finding a way to prioritize it in my daily life. Amazing!

[@covert_warrior]

That hit close to home when you spoke about go live with your aunt. Every time things got tough at home my mother always sent me away instead of trying to figure it out and be the mother she should have been.

[@AlannaKingrose]

"Love is to witness and holding space for the entire spectrum of who someone is and what happens to them throughout their lives". This is beautiful ❤

[@Illustrious_Print]

I unexpectedly started crying in the middle of this video because it hit home so much. Thank you for putting out all of this information for free!

[@joannamilano3542]

🌷

[@meenalsingh6388]

i never really understood the concept of self love! thankyou for explaining it so clearly!

[@ariannavargiu9487]

Love you too, Heidi! 🖤

[@samaramalawwethantri2910]

I am on the 9:15 mark of the video and I couldn't stop the tears. I am at a really truly bad place right now in my life. The lowest I've been. And right now is the time I need all the love I can give myself. I am not going anywhere, I love you and I'll be there with you through this. I hope to come back to this comment and thank myself for the progress I am about to start making and genuinely feel grateful for how things turn out.

[@tugceuludag7366]

You got this 🌸

[@Bcke14304]

Gosh, this is so fantastic for learning how to not JUDGE yourself. I’m realizing I do this like, a LOT (judging) - of others, but even worse - to myself. If I can’t stop lashing myself and accepting myself where I’m at, how am I going to stop judging others? Such a refreshing video, in all its non-condemning ways😅. Perhaps, maybe just perhaps, I can put my weapons down and be OK with myself, wherever I am at.

[@lindyn4]

Thanks!Wow I'm speechless wow you are Soooo good this is a gift aaah I feel so filled by this God bless don't know how to thank u.I'm going through something and I feel rejected and I told myself I have to love myself in my brokenness and I found this video

[@thebooksgirl]

from Mayo clinic: What causes spitting up? Spitting up is common in healthy babies. During their first three months, about half of all babies experience their stomach contents coming back up into the esophagus, a condition known as gastroesophageal reflux, infant reflux or infant acid reflux. Normally, a muscle between the esophagus and the stomach (lower esophageal sphincter) keeps stomach contents where they belong. Until this muscle has time to mature, spitting up might be an issue - especially if your baby is relatively full. thanks for the opportunity to reflect and grow!

[@Ghuern]

I am wondering though, if the babies that throw up are securely attached to their parent, or if it's a stress reaction to the insecure attachment style of the parents...

[@ira_herself997]

Oh wow, yes, I thought self-love will make me lazy and yet, I wasn't doing much even without loving myself. I am now doing a daily journal in excel to see what I do daily for my business and what I do for myself and others. Thank you for explaining the conditional acceptance.

[@ijordo]

Sharing love to you for sharing so much of your insights with us people who need to hear the same lessons you have learned.

[@spytechchronicles]

You are making great videos. When children are growing up they should have you as a teacher. That will build a strong foundation and we will not need to fix ourselves later

[@ashleymiller873]

I just want to say that after coming out of a long beating a dead hoarse kind of relationship.. Loving myself holistically is super hard for me. There are so many expectations that I have put down for myself and truthfully when I don’t have the emotional stamina to do those things it is so so hard.. I really relate to everything you said and I appreciate your videos so much regardless of when you make them or for how long because they are the most authentic and precise guidance I have ever gotten from videos. 💛

[@susanchaplik3577]

This video is brilliant and should be shown on all mental health channels... You are gifted in how you explain the human psyche, toxic narratives and the gift of self acceptance while also fostering accountability and hard work..Your videos has helped me tap into my sense of well being on a whole new level...thank you. grateful

[@jessvb992]

I really needed this, thank you very much. I was in a really intoxicating relationship that the person would tell me to change some things about myself because it wasn't working. The thing is, what I needed to change was the self-love aspect and the fact I was in a relationship that I was trying to adapt myself and receive less than I want was affecting my self-love and making me commit the same mistakes towards me and he other person over and over. The truth is that I am looking for some type of comforting sensation that this person would cause to an extent to make me accept less than I know I deserve and want, even making me feel like I was doing something wrong for being myself.

[@Give_Thankss]

Love love love this video. Love the illustration/analogy of the cleaning up the childs puke versus shaming it

[@WilsonAcres]

Willingness to fight for myself. It feels strong and protecting and firm. It's an acknowledgement that it's not passive, it is active. There are forces for whatever reason, other people, circumstances, etc, that are pressing in and we must actively fight for ourselves against all of this.

[@emmahefferon5958]

This is changing lives and I cannot quantify how much it means to me because this will echo forwards through time. Helping me in the future.

[@crisrodriguez8890]

This video has made me emotional - I love your videos, find them very informative and logical but this one was special - Thank you !

[@banglittlechan]

I just want to say that this was uploaded on my brithday. 🥺 Thank you Heidi for everything you do and everything you are. I hope I can look back on this video one day and be able to say that I love myself fully. 💖

[@Freyr94]

🫂

[@crazyladytracy]

Lol, I love your swearing, it makes you so much more human to me! Anyhow, I believe babies puke because an air bubble gets trapped under food and when it's released, some food gets pushed out too. :) not totally certain that's it but I found when I forgot to burp, EVERYTHING would come up but when I burped gently, only spittle came up. I adore your content, thank you so much for creating this valuable information for folks like me who can't afford actual therapy. I understand it's not a replacement for it, but it definitely helps me understand myself so much more! You're amazing! Thank you thank you!

[@Leto85]

Thank you for this message. KZbin did not recommend me this; I've looked it up. I especially love the baby nourishing comparison. That to me makes a whole lot of sense. For the past 3 days I start the day by looking in the mirror and saying one time to me that I love you before continuing the day. It feels strangely motivating indeed. Thank you for uploading!

[@sebastiendeloumeaux7372]

This is the first video about self love that makes sense to me. Your videos are answers to my prayers. So grateful you took some time from your dissertation to do this one. Take care of yourself too.

[@Freyr94]

💯. all self love videos seemed to be somehow superficial, but Heidis just resonated with me, that atleast I can say "I will be there for me, even at my worst."

[@michaelcortez9954]

Great video. This so applicable for everyone

[@kerryfaden94]

Heidi I listened to this again The best bedtime story of all! To love not only my inner child But the part of me that can’t love myself - or accept myself as I am That part is wounded too! Best looking forward

[@dubsax1668]

This topic is becoming more and more important to me. I appreciated your input. You have so many wise, honest words on this topic. Thank you for recording, posting, & sharing your knowledge, wisdom, & experience🥰

[@CassandraHouse]

It’s really hard to love yourself when the only person in the whole world that loves you completely unconditionally is your mother. It’s also really hard to love yourself if you’ve always felt adrift in this world and just going through the motions you see everyone else doing. I don’t even conditionally love myself. I know all of my successes are only temporary and only because other people got me there. I’m so out of touch with myself that don’t even know what I want from life other than to keep breathing. I have no expectations for myself because I’ve always failed at expectations. I’d like to say I’m numb but it’s more like grief and heavy sorrow. It’s exhausting cleaning up messes when your whole life is a mess

[@monicaalistari1043]

I relate to this so much! And I feel less alone.. 💔

[@Freyr94]

sometimes even mothers cant SHOW you love. You need to be grateful for the love which already is in your life.

[@furrosama]

thank you so much for this video. It really helps that you share examples of how you struggle in this aspect as well for me to understand and accept that I need to love myself. If you were like some other coaches who just tell us how to love ourselves without them having the experience of these hardships, I would have more of a hard time to trust your words. So thank you

[@adriannag8101]

The way you have defined love here is the best way that I’ve heard it explained. This also is applicable to the love we show and profess to others. “I’m not going to abandon you while you stumble your way through learning these life lessons. It’s ok if you fail. It’s to be expected.” It begs the question, am I abandoning myself and my needs, wants, and desires to demonstrate true love to others by not abandoning them?

[@the.emc33]

"Clean up your damn puke with self love" Heidi nailing the metaphors once again. :-]

[@skibnmope2891]

Gosh you’re so brilliant! I really think you should look into writing a book about self love ♥️ You’re videos are so insightful but they’re also super practical. Makes my brain happy 😍

[@srijanaregmi9583]

First video I watched of you and I absolutely love it. Your warmth and genuineness is so palpable throughout.Thank you . ❤️

[@edwardgreacen1833]

Thank you for sharing this video. It strikes home with me this very day. I've been working with "emotional dumping" and "red flags," and this video on self-love just ties it all together. It gives me a goal. A goal I can accomplish. A goal I can be proud of. Time to clean up the vomit and encourage the child to try again, and again, as many times as it takes, that I'm going to love him. (I almost said, "all the same," but that is conditional self-love, and I am better than that. I'm going all in - full self-love). Whew!! It's like solving the Wordle of the Day on the last try. Pretty soon I'll be ready to go back to figuring out my former attachment style - I've already started to practice secure attachments - it's painful sometimes, isn't it?

[@HealthyPersuit-sj3fr]

Listening to this a year later. Very informative and helpful. Thanks!

[@akaHobbs]

I don’t think I’ve ever heard the word “puke” this much 😂 Love your videos, Heidi!

[@benjamintice6400]

I mean I love all your videos, but sometimes you have this realness that slaps so hard and is so relatable. This is one of my favorites. Your comments on sphincters had me cackling out loud.

[@charlalauriston5576]

I watch your videos over and over. Thank you for making them! You're doing important work.

[@soulfulexpansions]

Is it because we are both infps? I cNt get over how much better your videos are then ever bodies I've ever watched before is . Full if relevant content to me! Before I felt like I was sifting thru bla bla bla for a little inch of relevant to me. I love you soooo much . ThNk God for you and thank you for posting!

[@lindyn4]

Wow I'm speechless wow you are Soooo good this is a gift aaah I feel so filled by this God bless don't know how to thank u.I'm going through something and I feel rejected and I told myself I have to love myself in my brokenness and I found this video

[@f.bender3591]

This was very impressive and relatable. Especially the having to puke metaphor will probably stay with me. Am currently cross-reading ENFP-Survival and the Daily Stoic which kind of set the course for researching self-love/eudaimonia. So thanks for this one.

[@jodisherland5335]

Heidi, I want to let you know how helpful you very well presented knowledge has been. I have come through a very hard climb out the abyss and here you are waiting at the top explaining exactly what I need at the exact right time! I especially related with the video on limerince (spelling?) Your the first person whose ever introduced that concept to me and it's EXACTLY what I did in my relationships! My sister and I would discuss my reaction to break ups or get together a as the holy godly miracles or tragedies LOL. Listening to the explanation of what was really happening was so eye opening!!! In fact it may be the key to me losing my fear of romantic intimacy. I'm not pushing myself on rushing this because my inner child and I need our well deserved time together. It's so amazing not to look for outside of me for comfort. It eliminates the clingy fear that comes from finding happiness in another. Now I'm able to enjoy interacting but as soon as I feel overwhelmed I come back to me. I am in a position to put myself first all the time and it's a much needed healing relationship that I didn't know was with me all this time. Becoming homeless and being homeless in the streets for 5 plus years on the street really helped me find myself. I am now home wherever I am. Im in a shelter and getting my first apartment that is just mine. I move in this week more than likely. And I'm going to be starting life in society all over with an autonomous mature attitude. I have thoroughly enjoyed this process of learning who I am. When people ask what I do for a living I now respond with a smile, "I breathe. 24/7. Never take any time off I just breathe" Or if I'm asked where I live, "wherever I am" I even made a joke.....Do you know why I am homeless? Because I'm not home MORE!!! LOL!! A few years ago I couldn't bare waking up without meth. Now I wake up happy everyday and have a support councilor I'm working with to ween myself completely. My dosage is miniscule....it's like a pacifier after giving up the baba. I'm not doing enough that quitting completely is going to make much of a difference but it's not wise to cold turkey after heavy daily use. It can cause psychosis so Friday was my first appointment with my therapist. It's a phone appt and he knows I want to be able to work ( I won't lie and get clean for a test) I stay authentic with myself, never shame myself by lying about me. Thank you so much for your videos they are perfect for helping me step into my new life of self love and care. Your awesome!!!

[@SeeCSeesCC]

In October of 2021 I made a conscious decision to only speak positive to, for and about me to for and about me. Im not perfect at it, but its an easy way to manage, a simple direction to grab and a solid foundation to do better and to be better. for me❤

[@redmoonvisual]

Your videos are so helpful. Compassionate, but also very straightforward and honest. I gained a lot of insight from this talk, thank you thank you thank you

[@lisachoochoo2445]

Thanks Heidi… I love all your videos 😊 watching them helped me a lot, to be nicer to myself. I realized that I’m often nicer to my friends than to me 🤔

[@brandonhemoi3853]

Thank you, Heidi. Your videos are very comforting. Love.

[@MDanimations44]

Wow Heidi, the timing of this video in my life is incredible! Thankyou soo much!! 🙏💙 Self love is definitely the answer!

[@maianhv6668]

Thank you, this video comes at just the right time for me.

[@brunscus]

7:00 That was extremely enlightening for me. I am in a loving relationship with a safe partner, and I feel pushed away from him, by some part of me. There's many things going into it, but there was this part that I hadn't been able to identify. Thank you ❤️

[@sandbothe1]

I relate to your experience, so much. How lucky I am that you’re putting all of this on video

[@yurihaji3121]

Woow !.. This video hits really hard.. You put your hands on the wound that has giving me a hell of a pain for a really long time.. Thank you to the moon and back 💜💜🌸

[@AprilValentine]

Ooof! this resonates so good. The upward spiral is an elevator. Self-Love ... in an elevator! ugh 😅 (wholesome connotations only) 😌💗 nurture your inner (love) child. Okay, I may have been listening to The Supremes and Aerosmith before watching this. But, Seriously! this video is pure enlightenment. Honest and vulnerable. Very special sageness ✨ inner-reflection, reflective awareness, reflective consciousness, and outer positive projection 🌟 The space for LOVE is greater than the entirety of your shining lightness and consuming darkness. The gifts you send out into the world are like mental yoga 🧘🏻‍♀️ Here's to chronic personal growth, and cleaning up all of life's puke. Thank you again! ❤️ back at you

[@katrinastobie3324]

Thank you, I have struggled with this My whole life. I am watching this several times.

[@amandalee2930]

Every time I watch one of your videos, my insides get calm. I connect with everything you say. Its a bit like magic☺❤

[@jamiecee4960]

Kind of hard to when you've been through things I've been through in the last 12 years. I don't feel like myself anymore. Mental abuse is wrong. All abuse is wrong. Controlling others on how to be is wrong. Don't let people take away from you. Take away who you are. I have support all around me in real life and good friends I made. And sometimes you feel like giving up on a lot of crap.

[@mykarmaisdogma]

I've listened to some of your more recent videos, and they are awesome. But I love this one so much because of your honesty and your swearing. For real!

[@richmondcorporatevideo7695]

Heidi you are so in-frequency with so many of us! I love your delivery, message and demeanor! Please continue to… you give so much help and understanding where for me there wasn’t before… you are my hero!❤

[@kydoification]

I definitely needed to hear this right now. :) I was sitting here watching your video and while consuming a plate of chips. 😂 Not that there is anything wrong with that but I’ve definitely developed a pattern. I’m self soothing and clearly I’m due a few conversations with my inner child.So thank you very much! Also all the best with your dissertation. :)

[@AlexisTwoLastNames]

i like hanging with myself until i start thinking abt what others might think of me. deep validation and acceptance from others is really important to me right now because i was raised with tons of praise and personal attention and i got that praise and attention with very little effort or discomfort on my end, because whatever discomfort i had had praise waiting at the end. i just rarely failed, and if i did fail, it was in an area i could then ignore. it feels like i am not allowed to love myself without constant reminders from others, and if i do, i am cocky and delusional and feel as though people are laughing at me for thinking i could even have a good time. as a kid i felt like i could never wear skirts or be traditionally girly in a "popular kid" way cuz otherwise i'd be laughed at. but i was never bullied or teased as a kid. just constant praise. i don't understand why i think others are looking at me so much. i think i have a massive ego and think that others have me on their mind a lot more than they do. in a similar vein, i struggle with sometimes thinking all men are into me. i had a "glo-up" and went from ignored to followed around stores and in my car to be hit on. it has made me believe my only worth must be my appearance cuz the switch happened during the worst parts of my depression when i was isolated from people who valued me as a person. i have become much more obsessed w my outward appearance and it sucks so much. i feel as if being conventionally attractive as i am means that if i continue to work on my personality to be how i want, then i am somehow "trying too hard to be perfect" and people will have disdain for me. it always comes back to what others think of me, and idk how to ACTUALLY combat these feelings so i am hoping to find some more information that actually resonates. all this to say i hope to achieve a bit more peace within myself in the next five or so years. i just wanna stop feeling like i'm always doing the wrong thing if i am not being praised for my actions.

[@avp6730]

This resonates with me...I feel alright on my own but all the problems come up when I have to interact with people. It's like I think I'm an alright person but I'm never really sure so I need people to validate me. It's very exhausting to always try to act nice. Did you find any other resources that helped with this external praise problem?

[@quizbrennan1939]

Damn that first paragraph felt like you were reading my mind. It all goes back to the way others view me. I thought to myself the other day "if no one saw me, saw what I was doing, if no one cared or said anything, if no one would find out about it, what would I do with my time?" And tbh I did not have great answers for that. Not sure where to go from there but it sounds like you and I struggle in a similar way. I'm sorry you went through that growing up. I hope you're doing better now. Finding Heidi's vids has certainly helped 😊

[@DUNELANDER]

I’m so glad I stumbled upon your channel. I manage an online support group for Estranged Mothers of Adult Children and have shared several of your videos with them.

[@g.s.9272]

Thank you Heidi. This is truly foundational. This is my new favorite channel and I plan on bingewatching (in a healthy way). Providential timing... thanks again for putting in the extra work when you obvioisly have a full schedule. 🕊 Peace

[@majamierzwinska5543]

I really loved this video, and I hope your course is going smoothly and that you're doing well. I'm looking forward to the next videos!:)

[@riddhimanna8437]

Thank you for this Heidi! Made me happy just by seeing that you posted and the title of the video!

[@aoibartholomew8847]

I love the way you speak with your inner child. I’m now considering doing that with my inner child. Thanks for another spectacular video!

[@davidmorrison7323]

Thanks for making this video. I’m benefiting from a lot of your content but this one specifically hit a nerve with the inner child screaming out. Thanks for your dedication to these topics.

[@stephaniem2743]

I recently found this channel and I absolutely love it. Thank you so much for this amazing guidance and for sharing your own experiences 💚 and some great analogies like baby puke 😀

[@jan1cem]

thank you Heidi. this video is sooo helpful. never understood about self love and what it looks like and how to do it. after much work, this video makes sense to me now. i understand it now. whereas if i wouldve watched this years or months ago, i wouldnt have understood.. i suffer from pain in my body and im loving that part of myself too. not rejecting or hating it. its hard but im on it.

[@jimmysroom5132]

The baby is not an empty template for programming, they have their own identities inherent to them and you can teach many things but you cannot overwrite their identity to match what you want it to be. Of course, the video is very educational and I am learning a lot so thank you.

[@jasonweber225]

Thank you Heidi! I have lots of blessings but I always feel like I need other people to to approve of me and reassure me. Its been a struggle my whole life. I have no self love or self worth. I always self abandoned, I am staying more present with myself now a days. Its hard it is very challenging some days.

[@katherinee2389]

I really enjoyed this! I'm an ENFP and I'm devouring your videos and seeing myself in them. I'll probably keep this one for a rewatch when I'm down on myself.

[@amandalynjones4892]

Thaaaaanks, Heidi!!! Once again, so helpful!!! I’m working on this and feeling better already!

[@philhob4317]

Wow, I really needed that! 🤹‍♂️❤ I met somebody in the park yesterday while taking a walk in Berlin. There was a nice warm peaceful connection at first. But I immediately became super intense, needy, self-judgemental, scared, desperate... I got so overwhelmed by my own emotions that there was nowhere to go but say our good byes. I dragged my last remnants of dignity back home and felt miserable... that was a serious serious wake up call to show me in what state I was in. 😢

[@ceciliainnes2586]

Heidi your output is remarkable, so on point. The content of this episode is exactly what I needed to hear.. You are blessed with a great talent. Thank you for sharing this with the world

[@lawlandlong2226]

I've listened and heard this over and over again. Finding that inner peace and dealing with the mother's wound/father's wound and this offering makes all the difference. Help and support that inner child that needs to be loved unconditionally. Rely on yourself and others can love you but ultimately its you and when you do that you are authentic and thriving no matter what. Self-love. NO jumping ship. I sought others to love me from looks, smart etc. when you love yourself then you are WHOLE. Life in full color and true.

[@TrainerLiz1]

Thank you so much for this comment!

[@qonitasyahira7042]

Geez heidi. I'm almost ugly cry at cafe rn. But also thank you, for opening my eyes ☺

[@oliviad1450]

Just discovered your channel and am really learning a lot! I have watched other videos on attachment styles but never really got it, but you’ve got a way of explaining that clicks with me so thank you! Do you have any videos on how to sit and deal with those scary/uncomfortable feelings? I have some destructive coping mechanisms that I want to be free from! Thanks for sharing your knowledge and experience :)

[@jodifuller7249]

Idk if you will still see comments this late after the video aired. Your content is truly spot on and honest and well worded. You have brought so much information to me that I needed to hear and know and presented it in words I was ready to hear. I have learned so much since I came upon your information. THANK YOU Heidi for being you ❣️

[@yogeshbhojwani2530]

I’m on the journey to be with and love myself. I love you Heidi for being so vulnerable, clear and open with sharing all that you’ve learnt❤️

[@xrexbi7095]

Your content has helped me so much. Thank you for all that you do. I listen to your videos, replay, and jot down pages of notes to help me through life. I've experienced a lot that has put me through the ringer from such a young age. This content has helped me gain and experience life in ways I could never imagine. Thank you❤

[@meredithe1361]

Love Muna!!! She opened for Taylor some shows. I really appreciate this video

[@Sarajevo2000]

Thank you Heidi, I admire you so much ❤️