How to Make Friends

[@purrrrrpleful]

0:56 "share really intimate things about your broken-ness with" I've watched a few videos on how to make friends today and this is one of the best lines I've heard, a really great way of summing up friendship.

[@kkilinahe]

I met my best friend in elementary school. Me, a lonely third grader, and my now best friend, a new student from another school. I was assigned to show him around. We got into an argument, and spent more than a year calling each other names and resenting each other. Then, one day, my friend asked for it to stop. I said why not. And like you said, Hank, you have to ask each other difficult questions. And that's what we've been doing ever since.

[@Novjuly]

I'm starting to realize that in the transition from high school to college to serious-college I've lost all my friend friends, and now all I have are acquaintances. I would like to change that, but it takes a lot of time and effort--which I don't have because college. Lonely. :(

[@quakquak6141]

+Erica Bourland I was lucky, I found really good friends right after I was left in a similar situation, if you find the right persons you will become friends in less time than you think QUAK

[@Novjuly]

+quak quak thanks, man! :)

[@quakquak6141]

you're welcome

[@aishwaryam6244]

Erica Bourland I feel that too .... It feels nice to have some good friends !!

[@yPGzRicardo]

I'm going through the exact same thing right now. I am holding on to the hope that it's going to get better soon

[@abidoran3439]

For the longest time, I have been telling my friends who insist on having boyfriends their freshman year of high school to find someone who loves them because they are different, not despite that they are different. And now, almost two years after this video was posted, I find that Hank thinks the same thing.

[@TheOtherKT]

"When you don't have good friends, it can be really hard to find them." This has been my personal experience these past couple years.

[@JonahPleatherbooth]

You know this video was exactly what I needed to hear. I've always been kind of standoffish and have difficulty getting to know people. I have a fear of intimacy that is so bad I couldn't even shake hands with people without gritting my teeth for years and run like hell whenever a girl shows interest in me, even if I'm also interested. I have a very hard time being close to anyone.

[@veenbeen]

Hank, this video meant a lot to me. I've been going through some really tough times with close friends I simply don't get along with anymore, and "breaking up" has been really hard and made me quite depressed for a few months. To hear you say that "breaking up" is ok means the world to me. Now I can move on.

[@RilianSharp]

My bestfriend and I met in 2008 because our moms knew each other, but all we said was Hi. Then in 2009, I fell on the stairs and sprained my ankle and when I was screaming at the top of my lungs, she was the one who found me and got me help. Then in 2011, we had a class together, and I saw that she was reading artemis fowl, which I had never read, but I knew about it, and it's a kids book, so I thought, "Hey, another college student who reads kids books! I can talk to this person!" So I timidly said to her "I like to read kids books too...." and then the next class day, I sat next to her, and then like a day later I went over to her house and we talked for hours and hours about everything we could think of and we had so much in common and now we're best friends : ) ^_^ :D ILY

[@ZoggFromBetelgeuse]

Thank you, Earthling! Another priceless contribution to my field research on your planet. Human social mechanics are anything but easy to understand for us alien visitors.

[@NatalieLeeNorment]

It's easy to make friends, it's just harder to keep in contact with some of them when differences come between them. I used to think it was impossible to make friends because I was often an outcast. And those who I did remain in contact with somehow grew distant from me. For years, I was lost without any connection to the real world. And I had to deal with being useless and helpless to my family. Because I had no job and I was poor. Eventually, I made friends again during my late 20s and beyond. Some stayed with me and some left. Overall, I was happy. And I couldn't be more happy to have more friends and acquaintances in my life.

[@devonk8766]

We Need a tee-shirt saying "imagine complexly"

[@LastOneToVlogWins]

I agree that sharing personal stories and experiences brings people closer together. I try to be open and honest with everyone as a way to connect with people. It's the people who reciprocate that become my best friends.

[@rebeccacohen2349]

Watching this makes me feel like I only have 2 "friends." Now the reason I put quotations is because those two people are the only people I've shared my deepest darkest secrets with. Sure, I have others that make me laugh and i like to talk to and sit at the lunch table with them, but they don't know the stuff that those other two don't- or at least I don't think they do. Also I found this video really helpful- and a little nerve-racking. I hate talking to new people+making friends and I get so nervous that I'm gonna say something stupid. But watching this video just goes to show that you can't feel like that, or at least try to ignore it and TALK. Not so hard. We all have mouths. ✌🏼

[@EllotusFreeholy]

Thank you for making clear that i'm not the only one who feels that way.

[@meaggggan]

You made this video at the perfect time for me. I was just having a conversation with my mom about how my supposed "friends" don't really care enough about me and she too said that it is okay to break up with friends. Thanks hank for always making the best videos at the best times. (:

[@doodlepony2]

"The process of Betting two people together had become an industry," says the man who modernized Jane Austen's Emma by making Emma a professional romantic relationship person thing.

[@prcat9]

Thank you for this video. Most of my life I've felt like I'm not very good at making friends because I have trouble with vulnerability. But lately I've realized that I have some of the best friends ever - I've never had to deal with any backstabbing drama that some people deal with. And this is because I'm very picky about who I choose to be my friends, and that lets me have the best people in my life when I need them the most. What they say is true: it's not about the number, but the quality.

[@Ursikos]

Don't cry over the lack of friends. If you have one friend who is there for you, for your tough times, to help you feel better, to listen to your troubles, to actually care for you, that is more than enough. There is no minimum or maximum for friendship. When I realized I can count my close friends on my fingers, I cried because I have close friends :')

[@munkeeface]

i moved for a job 6 months ago and basically have no friends in town. i feel like the older you get, the more you get to know yourself, and the more you know yourself the harder it is to find a person with whom you connect completely. it has been wearing away at me, i am often alone which makes me often sad. i know i need a change and i am encouraged to do so! thankful for this comforting video, thankful for this awesome channel.

[@JustinRVitez]

I feel like it's hard to make friends.

[@roxylamour1119]

I agree

[@NoOne-pk3go]

Heyyy! I think i can help the both of you...

[@SongHarmonizer]

OH MY GOODNESS SO FRENCHING HARD

[@verity3616]

Nine years and later and, somehow, it's gotten even more difficult!

[@JustinRVitez]

@Verity I used to feel like that best I don't really worry about it much now also forgot about that comment

[@WhitestWaters]

I always think I'm really anti social because I don't make friends easily but with your definition of friendship I've come to realise that it's a good thing because all my friends are people I trust and can share my "broken-ness with" and they with me, and we are still friends. I thank God for that.

[@BeeNaaa5]

Now in 2016, i still very much thank you for this video.

[@OAmoretNoctis1Izzy]

+

[@EllieElectric35]

This video came at exactly the right time. Just been divorcing some friends. Always a painful process but necessary for a healthy life. Thank you, Hank, for making me feel a lot better about the process. :)

[@peregrination3643]

I find potential friends show their irreverent side once you bring up serious things. If it's not casual academic banter (for intellectual potential friends), "what have you been up to?" kind of regular conversations, or task oriented people shrug it off. And ultimately, what I've noticed over the years after my childhood friends grew apart and I had to try befriending people that I didn't grow up with, they don't let me into their "inner circle." They aren't jerks, but they have their childhood friends, church friends, family friends, and whatever else they have. They're nice to me and occasionally hang out, but ultimately my efforts for a deeper relationship are ignored.

[@fizzylimon]

That whole idea of "it's okay to break up with friends" was something that I didn't realize for a very long time. I kind of expected friendships I didn't like to mutually die out, but some people really needed to be told "you are not a good influence on the kind of life I want to have, so we shouldn't be friends anymore." It's okay to do that!

[@midorishimiz]

Yeah, my late father used to say that a bestfriend is someone thts going to be your life partner.. when i was young i didnt admit it bt now i can see it ;)

[@FaeytynnZayn]

So know you already had one?

[@LPersFromNowhere]

I go to a school where people aren't judged by looks, but by personality and character. It's different from a regular high school. Therefore, because I have such a complex and "charming" character, I tend to make friends very easily. One of my main interests is the psychology of human interactions, and most of my knowledge of humans stems from... well... KZbin. Therefore, thank you for making these videos. -Rinion of LPers from Nowhere

[@modernlacuna]

The ad on this was for a dating site. ._.

[@bugly1]

Ah, thank you! Well, I've been dealing with 3 friendship break ups of my my own over the past 3 or 4 years, and I know how it feels when the people you thought were meant to be your closest friends...end up not being. I just want people to know it does get better.

[@skyosam]

r u from scishow?

[@katied.1130]

That's one of their other chanels.

[@SorathMyoijin]

No, scishow Hank is from vlogbrothers. =)

[@phoenixarizona8470]

Katie D. Only Hank does SciSchow and Only John does Crash Course. They only have one shared channel, vlogbrothers.

[@alannar.8701]

***** But Hank works on mental_floss.

[@jigwan6009]

I really like your analogy, Hank. You could totally make a whole other video about how we're all broken, rusty sculptures. I've never heard my idea of how to make friends put into words so succinctly--the whole "consistent unplanned interactions" thing is dead on, I think. Thanks for that. For me though, the toughest part has been keeping those best, closest friends after we've gone separate ways in life (ie different colleges, moving away, etc). Anyone have specific recommendations for that?

[@kittycuties9948]

I think im loosing a best friend. :( help

[@DoctorWhoFan93]

I don't know anything about you situation, but here's what I learned when I felt like I was losing my best friend: DON'T CLING. Don't ever just give up, but don't cling. It could be your relationship with your friend is changing, you're changing, your friend is changing, or all of the above. It could be the two of you had a fight, or one or both of you is having problems that have nothing to do with the other person. That's all OKAY, inevitable, a part of life, but it doesn't mean you have to lose your friend. Just be honest and open, allow the change to happen, embrace it, learn from it. If you're fighting, work through the fight. If your friend is having problems, offer support, but don't force it; just be there for him/her. If you're having problems, be honest with your friend, let him/her be there for you. But most importantly, if things are changing for either one of you, don't cling to the past.

[@xLilypotterx]

COMPLETELY agree. With friends I think there is no social convention of 'breaking up' with them, and if you have to do it then it feels like you're in an extremely weird situation. I've done it before, and in hindsight, I wish people had told me it's absolutely fine to do it - 'breaking up' with that person was one of the bravest things I've ever done. And my life is so much better because of it.

[@jordifaxon2839]

So quiet…

[@bugly1]

Coming from a similar experience, I understand how you feel. And I've done some crying of my own. But don't just keep crying. That won't get you anywhere in the long run. You've learned that those people weren't as loyal as you thought they were, and now you know what to look for in friends a little better, so you can start afresh with new people. Just because others weren't there for you doesn't mean no one will be.

[@chibillama24]

I know EXACTLY how this feels. I've commuted for three years and it feels impossible to make friends, but when you least expect it you will find some of the most beautiful people in this world. Just don't be afraid to start conversations. :)

[@megjuneau]

This is the best advice I have ever seen on the internet. And I am cultivating a new friendship now, in which we are randomly getting together, sharing weird thoughts, and accepting the weird rusted out love machines. Cheers to friendship!

[@Cary0G]

This made me smile more than I expected it to. Because it pretty much sums up why my absolute closest friend is someone I've only known a year and a half. We spent probably 5 out of 7 nights a week just driving around talking. So we got incredibly close and comfortable with each other. I miss her. She moved to the other side of the country. :(

[@storyofsarah]

The thing about letting people help you... I struggle with that. Yesterday, I was skiing with one of my classmates' little brothers. My ski popped off and I was having issues getting it back on. He had to come up and help me. It was really sweet of him, but embarrassing for me, because I do struggle with being helped. I was super awkward. This video helped me remember it's okay to let other people help me. :)

[@MyFriendIrene]

"That's who you really like. The people you can speak out loud in front of." :) One of my favorite quotes of all time!

[@SweetheartMorada]

I love your analogy of appreciating each others' broken sculptures, Hank. About a month after my boyfriend and I got together, he said something to that affect (albeit not as artistically). After he responded to my query as to why he was in Nerdfighterlike with me by saying "Other people suck," I felt it necessary to inform him that I suck too, even if he hadn't seen my sucky side yet. To which he said so very eloquently "But I like the way you suck" (Context is everything). Yep, he's a keeper.

[@bugly1]

Learning is a life long process. That includes learning about love and friendship. I certainly hope I never stop learning about them and getting better at them.

[@ReichelThorin]

I had that same problem with so many people in my life. Its hard, and some people just don't understand and never do even when its over. But in the end it was for the best and I moved on and am much happier for it.

[@justkalise]

So weird that this was your video literally 3 days after I realized I was trying to push people away without realizing it because after being hurt by so many friends, it has become hard for me to make them and I JUST started opening up and letting people see my 'brokenness' and now I have found people in college who are actually LIKE me and I don't have to feel awkward

[@ThePurpleMarionette]

Thankyou, Hank. This was just perfect. I've always been pretty insecure and terrified of being judged (on age, gender, background), so I got scared of even meeting awesome people online, like, where you can just walk away if it's not right and there's little/no chance you'll meet awkwardly again. You motivated me to change that and be a better person and meet new people. Thanks again, and DFTBA. :)

[@FlorescentInk]

Can I get an amen to the fact that yes, people can /break up with their friends/. Somehow many of us have the wrong idea that we should stick with friends no matter what because "that's what friends are for". That's not true. It's ridiculous to see friends try to hold together their friendship when they have started to emotionally abuse each other. Have the self-respect to push people that hurt you out of your life, whether it be a friend or a lover.

[@LeGranElephante]

this is so amazing! i love thinking about and studying the relationships in my life(in a healthy non-over-analyzing way). hank is very right. it takes time and work to develop any sort of closeness with another human being. i can't wait to someday marry my best friend:)

[@paranshizaveri2003]

"don't make friendship a means to an end but an end in itself" blew my mind

[@Sehrafina]

First of all, that half-assed thrusting motion you did was hilarious. Secondly, I currently am pursuing a new friendship with someone at a job I just started at a few weeks ago. Having moved away from what was my home for 12 years, I am now 500 miles away from the 2 very close friends I had kept from high school. I've lived at my location for nearly 2 years and have just now found someone who is similar to me enough that I would want to make her my friend. It's not easy, but definitely worth it.

[@Evoral]

I know the feeling. In internet I basically tell my life story to random people while in real life its much harder to show the real me. Here I met my boyfriend also who really knows who I am and accepts me. I wouldnt say I have social anxiety anymore thought because those feelings have decreased so much. It ended after I took a depression medication for half a year about 2 years ago. Much love!

[@abbythewasteland5841]

I wish i can one day show hank green how much he has and continues to make such a great impact on my life

[@faithy_j]

I agree, Hank has a way w/ words. I'm dealing w/ a similar situation (my oldest friend) I find truth in his statement that a frindship is made of unplanned interacions. It's hard for frendship 2 feel organic when u struggle to find time & schedual every encounter. I think Hank had some good advise: dont think of every ineraction as a means to an end, talk about meaningful things & feel free to embarass urself because ur human. Most important, admit if it's not working anymore. Hope that helps

[@rocknrollette666]

I've found my favorite Vlogbrothers video that aired since I discovered these guys a year ago. Seriously though, you've described everything that I believe in and helped me to understand how to get there. Thank you Hank.

[@TheBirdiebnd]

They are most definitely your friends!!!! Physical interactions are not what is important in a friendship, it is maintaing the emotional connection that makes them so important to you. If you give them secrets and they give you theirs in return with trust and love then they are the best kind of friends anyone could ever ask for :) and they are most definitely your friends.

[@incandew]

I just finished reading Paper Towns by John Green, and I think it's a wonderful book on friendship and expands on what you said in this video. Highly recommend to anyone watching. To me true friendships are not hard to make, but exceedingly difficult to maintain. You have to put in so much effort and time. In the meantime stop criticising flaws in you see in people, but focus on moulding yourself into someone you'd want to be friends with.

[@mossy-river-rocks]

Hank, thanks so much for making this video. Lately I've been struggling with my anxieties and paranoia centered around friends and this video just really made me feel good about the true friends I have and really appreciate. You're really good at this stuff.

[@LuneFromage]

That's a fantastic point! I think some of the KZbinrs are able to reciprocate it. They do so at gatherings and through messages/comments/video responses, but you're right that much of the time there is a sort of unrequited friendhship happening. There is a sort of "inner circle" of KZbinrs who all seem to know each other and who are all friends and so many others who just want to be a part of that circle. Oh my science, it's high school all over again!

[@feralnerd5]

As someone who made a comment on John's video about how I'd rather learn about becoming friends than more-than-friends, I really appreciate this. I don't generally have much trouble finding people to date, but the lack of a concept of friend-dating in our culture makes it really hard to find people to just call up on a Friday night and be like hey let's watch a movie and eat fro-yo and complain about/attempt to explain the "opposite" gender to each other and that's what I really want, y'know?

[@Surrha182]

I'm so glad you made a video about this! In high school all some people care about is their boyfriend or girlfriend. I'm 16 and still single so I don't get all the hype just yet, so I just have really close friendships with my 2 best friends. I feel like in our culture, the importance of friendship just isn't stressed as much as it should be. The problem is that the world's obsession with romance has led 14 year olds to think there's something wrong with them if they're single.

[@iamafridgedealwivit]

I know I'm moving soon and I feel like I am going from this safe blanket of friends to an unavoidable depth of emptiness. Friends ARE underrated, everyone is rapped up in finding a bf or gf they ignore the far more important people, friends.

[@Tigermond1]

I totally agree with Hank on everything he says in this video, but it leads me to the question what kind of relationship we as viewers and fans and, well, Nerdfighters have to them. I mean... I know I'm defintely not Hank's friend because he doesn't even know that I exist and he absolutely doesn't know anything about my "brokenness", but I know a lot about him, right? I watched nearly 1000 vlogbrothers videos now and I got to learn more about their brokenness and dreams an hopes and their way of thinking about the world than I learned about many of my friends'. And also, of course, I really try to imagine them as complexly as I can and I like them the way they are. So, what kind of relationship is this? I guess I just have to get comfortable with the fact that they aren't my friends and will never be. And I think I am. But it still sometimes feels weird.

[@nergee]

differently broken, semi-functioning, rusted-out love machines = probably my favorite definition of humanity of all time

[@kathryno2032]

I think that people should wait to reveal their "brokenness" until they feel comfortable doing so, or realize that in doing so, it will make it easier for them to deal with. Merely talking about it due to obligations won't actually help anything, and part of the reason to make friends is to help yourself grow positively.

[@hopeforlilli]

This made me really irrationally happy because the average amount of close friends is 2-3 and I have 5. Like actual proper I could have deep emotional talks with all of them 5. I usually feel like I don't have many friends because they are the only people I really talk to so, thank you for making me really happy.

[@TheObsessiveNerd]

A couple months honestly. Between work and school its been a long haul, but so worth it.

[@definitelynotadragon]

I like this :) especially when you said that there is so much focus on being in a romantic relationship. I just like hanging out with my friends. The only thing I sort of disagree with is that you don't have to force the conversations about deep things, because then it can get awkward sometimes, the best deeper conversations happen naturally (and often late at night, randomly)

[@AuthorRebekka]

I love my best friend. I can be JUST me without her thinking that I'm wierd and she can be JUST herself without me thinking that. I really appreciate our friendship, and I am so happy that I met her. It was our shared passion for Harry Potter that made us talk to eachother. ^^

[@Bassmonkey5215]

its so much better to tell them than to hope it dies out or just ignore them entirely.

[@LamanKnight]

Wow. :) Ever since I moved to the USA in September, I have had next to no friends at any given time. It's been a long time since I've heard these reminders, and that finally gives me the encouragement to keep trying to make friends. Thanks, Hank!

[@Kyermemehtar]

I had a friend/mentor dump me a few years back, straight up told me I was dead to her, and it really crippled my ability to make new friendships. I was never quite sure why she did it, whether it was something I'd done, or something I hadn't. I guess all I want to say is, if you do find yourself unable to remain friends with someone, make sure they know exactly why. You can really mess a person up. It still hurts to think of Rebecca, but after 5 years I finally made a new friend last month :)

[@bugly1]

Snail mail, email, texting, phone calls, gift packages, random visits, a journal to send back and forth, all are good ideas. Once you're already friends with someone (not just acquaintances who randomly see each other at the mall), that's when the actual 'work' of the friendship starts. Unplanned interactions are where friendships start, but they aren't how friendships are built. You have to be willing to put in the effort to maintain the friendship (that is if you want to keep it).

[@misti-step]

i met my best friend on the first day of 6th grade when we were sitting at opposite sides of our homeroom table. i love her, and i dont think i would be able to live without her. when i recalled this memory to her recently, she said that at the time she was afraid to speak to me because she thought i was going to beat her up.

[@DandilionFireworks]

I am right there with you, 100% absolutely. Sometimes I sit back and wonder to myself about how I even got the friends I currently have, 'cuz I'm no good at making new ones, but really it's just that the few I've acquired are really good solid people to know. They've given me no drama of my own, and they've been patient with me when I'm not being my best and brightest self. I couldn't ask for more ^_^.

[@boudicathebrave]

I broke up with a friend a year ago. It was so awkward because she didn't see it coming and it's so much harder than breaking up with a partner because it's so much more of a value judgement. I still feel a little bad that I surprised her, but getting out of that toxic relationship was one of the best things I ever did for myself.

[@TheLRobs]

Never take great friends for granted. I live in the UK and one of my best friends has just moved to Australia for the foreseeable future and i have no idea when i will see her face to face again. You never realize how much you rely on or love someone until their gone which i guess is a very typical thing. But seeing it in movies or listening to it in songs and experiencing it in real life are 2 very different things. And i guess the next hardest thing is maintaining that friendship.

[@bugly1]

I say keep doing that if that's the type of person you are. Just be aware not everyone is like that, and they won't all feel comfortable with it. And when they do seem uncomfortable, be respectful of that. Don't then continue to pester them with personal questions they don't want to answer.

[@bugly1]

Sometimes you kind of have to practice being open. You have to be open even when you don't want to. Because if you just wait until you're comfortable, you'll never reveal anything about yourself to others. Brokenness doesn't feel good, and it doesn't always feel good to share it with others. But that's ok. The more you do it, the easier it will get, and the better you will feel about it.

[@Leftistattheparty]

Vlogbrothers is one of the things that has no idea what point my life is in and yet still gives advice appropriate for my life.

[@pinktangerine11]

I love this because my parents have a little plaque at their house of an 'encouragement' shall we say, that says "happiness is being married to your best friend."

[@NameWithoutNumber]

Of course the person you marry don't have to be your absolute best friend in the world! I think saying your spouse has to be your best friend is yet another way of over-romanticizing (yep) romantic relationships. I agree with you, that different people fill different roles. But usually the person you marry is someone you will live with and share most of your life with, so it's extra important to get along. Though you can live and share your life equally with several people if you want to...

[@vindelanda]

I think it can be good to meet people when there's not always that unplanned interaction, though. Like my best friend right now is someone I've consistently been good friends with for 10 years, and we had little in common other than the fact that we were both homeschooled and loved writing (not really unplanned interaction). But I think that's why we've lasted so long, we've always had to make the effort to keep in touch, so we didn't just lose contact when we started doing different things.

[@paperdialup]

I once became good friends with someone because she asked me for a ride to her AA meeting. We had been talking in class once an awhile when she said "I know this is really weird but..." and she asked me for a ride to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. She told me she was broken. She asked for help. Had she not done that, I don't know if we would have been friends at all. I'm glad she did. She made my life better.

[@savanafaye79]

This is brilliant. I've never thought of friendship in this way, which is a shame because it's beautiful and true.

[@NameWithoutNumber]

I think most people enjoy having friends. For a lot of them it is also a necessity. Sometimes they (we) simply forget not everyone is the same way...

[@nanarosemay]

This video is creepily relevant to my life right now... I recently moved. Actually, not that recently. like 5 months ago. I havent had to make new friends since my last move 6 yrs ago. you'd think thats something you'd remember how to do, but i think it gets tougher as you get older. but i feel like high school should be an easy place to make really good friends. i mean, everyone's trying to figure themselves out, shouldnt we want to open up to eachother? idk. lifes weird. thank you for this!

[@j1t94]

i love this video because i watched it after spending the entire day with these people i love and while we have our differences and while we, sometimes, rarely see each other, we are all accepted, broken machines or not :)

[@joshgoldenberg4398]

Hank. I love you. This is incredible

[@girlaxia]

it's true, being married to your best friend is awesome. and maintaining really true good irl friendships isn't always easy, but it's very much worth it.

[@alexandergifford]

That is probably the best idea I've heard in a long time. People don't appreciate friends enough.

[@jordanpaigex1]

Well this video could not have come at a better time. I find myself with only 3 real friends, two of which exist many thousands of miles away from me. And my one IRL friend treats me like I don't exist when she goes back to school 40 minutes away from where we live. So I guess I'm sorta in want of more irl friends and didn't know exactly how to go about it and DUHDOY it seems its a lot easier than I was making it out to be in my brain. So thank you, Hank. This was very helpful.

[@amberbydreams1]

My friends and I have what we call 'the honesty basement', which is the fairly sound-proof basement at one of our houses, where we gather for most hangouts and especially sleepovers, and at 3 in the morning when we're all feeling a bit off, we'll openly talk about literally anything, especially embarassing or awkward things, and it's definitely one of the best places in my life.

[@bugly1]

So true! Those are not the only people you will ever meet! You will meet more people!! You will make more friends!!!

[@ClaireF_]

"Bizarre, broken sculpture" - what a beautiful description. Hank, you have such a wonderful way with words :) 3

[@ForeverxDagora]

I really enjoyed this video but I thought I should mention that your ability to talk super duper fast is one I admire.

[@geesealyse]

It took me a VERY long time to learn how to make friends. I'm lucky now to have a few amazing friends that I'm going to sharing my life with, including the one I married :) I think one of the most important aspects of making friends for naturally shy people is to be unafraid of taking risks. Go out with some people! Tell something about yourself that makes you a bit uncomfortable! It will be worth it in the end. And, if it's not, you just found the wrong people. Keep searching!

[@bugly1]

I think most friendships just aren't meant to last. People are always coming in and out of your life, and that's okay. You may find a few here and there that stick around for the long haul, but if you don't, you shouldn't feel like you've done something wrong. That's just the nature of friendship. And it doesn't make those friendships any less valuable or meaningful. My advice? Just enjoy the friendships for however long they last, and don't build up unrealistic expectations. Be here now.

[@kaitlynkessler]

I've done it. All 1,042 videos. Thanks for introducing me to Nerdfighteria, "french the llama" as an exclamation, and the interrabang. You make it OK to be an unironic nerd and to hold intelligence to a higher standard than designer shoes. John and Hank, thank you for reminding me to be awesome.

[@emilyjohn6689]

Watching this I now feel really lucky to have so many great friends who I can share things with. I didn't know these people where here until I took the first step, it is embarrassing and slightly awkward but it's so worth it :)

[@wrappedinpeace]

I know I'm friends with someone when I can share a comfortable silence with them. Doesn't mean every silence is comfortable, but when it can happen, that's when I know. I'm lucky enough that it's sort of happened for me lately.

[@Americanbadashh]

I don't think a friend "has" to be a person who share 100% of your broken edges with. I think there is more than one way to form that bond.

[@JulezNerdify]

I met one of my best friends when we were just chatting as strangers and found we liked youtube a lot she then said 'I'm gonna see how cool you are..." Then she did the nerdfighters sign and I screamed and hugged her and now were really close friends.