How To Make Your Family Respect Your Space: Boundaries 101 | Psychotherapy Crash Course

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

This is so hard to do most times. Is it difficult or easy for you?

[@Homoclite]

This FAR from easy for me personally due to having what I feel is an overwhelming amount of narcissists and sociopaths in my family. So I opted to NOT deal with ANY of them a short while after my mother had transitioned. Please believe me when I tell that I'm not losing ANY sleep over my decision to not interact with any of them. Great video!

[@gonthebeat88]

It’s hard, but necessary.

[@riseabove7233]

I had to set boundaries with my toxic narcissistic family and cut everyone off. I felt terrible because I went super nova but I had to protect my children. Boundaries are extremely important along with self respect. When dealing with a toxic person you can’t react because, toxic people especially a narcissist/ sociopath will say hurtful words to get you to react. You need not to respond, explain or justify yourself. Satan will never change. The narcissist/ sociopath has a demonic spirit sent to destroy God’s chosen. So many innocent lives have been ruined. Joseph in the bible dealt with toxic family members. Joseph’s anointing caused envy among his brothers. Sometimes a toxic family member hates you for no reason because of the gift God has birth in your spirit. They antagonise you because the spirit in them has no rest. Always remember who you are and never lower your boundaries. Be okay with having no contact. Your not a bad person because you have boundaries. God bless you.

[@KilifiKing]

Mine broke all boundaries and beyond so had to go No Contact - Amen

[@ladennayoung2939]

I finally went no contact with my mom for the moment. I have been feeling led by the spirit of God for awhile, and I finally did so on today. I sent her a text message prior to do so. But I basically asked for some space and time at the moment. I just don't need or want the drama at the moment.

[@thebeliever78]

Thank God for your comment. I finally found someone I can relate to! I feel that the spirit of God led me to distance myself from my mother and most of my siblings. They are all toxic and only want the worst for me. I feel so free without them. I went on another spiritual fast and my mother was so mad. She felt that I was ignoring her when I was simply trying to get a deeper relationship with Christ. She totally cut me off. I warned her that I would completely be done with her if she did that again. I feel so much inner peace now. I pray that you feel inner peace as well. God bless you my sister in Christ.🙏🏽❤️

[@Melissa-cc5gb]

I’m trying to set boundaries with my family. I’m not so worried about feeling guilty (though that’s part of it). What I’m more nervous about is that when I lay down boundaries, it can often make things more explosive - lots of anger, yelling/cursing, mocking me, or purposely violating my boundaries even more. Even if I hold firm, sometimes several family members will team up against me. This is also why I’m avoiding seeing them. Do you have any advice for situations like this? Thank you for all of your videos. They’re very helpful 🙏🏻

[@ladennayoung2939]

Probably just go no contact with them altogether at the moment. You have the rest to tell them no. They DON'T own you or your life. God created this life to live, and you need to live it as He see fit. You don't need to let anything or anyone steal your joy or peace. The devil is a lie. Living the way that you are currently living is NOT living at all. Constantly worrying about what someone will say or how they will say it is not fun or pleasant at all. Nor is it fair to you. Be fair to yourself, and love, and respect yourself. Blessings to you and yours in the mighty name of Jesus. Amen and Amen and Amen and Amen and Amen. God love and cares for you, and so do I. Give yourself that love that you need. You are the love that you need.

[@pennyc7064]

@Melissa I can relate to your situation. Avoiding seeing them is probably the best way to go.

[@staybalancedn]

I had to set some boundaries, it the most distance I've ever set in a long time. It's liked operating in the dark but I know it's for the best. God Bless everyone who going through it. I appreciate you speaking on this. Many therapist try to avoid this option.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

This is great and well said!! Thank you. 😊

[@ladennayoung2939]

I pray your strength in the Lord as you continue to take this new journey in life in Jesus name. Amen and Amen and Amen and Amen. God love and cares for you, and so do I. 💜💜💜💜

[@MODISHYE]

The title of this video is so relevant every day, but especially in a pandemic. I can't wait to listen to your tips.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

😊 Thanks for watching!!

[@angelacasein7059]

It’s like my sister is particularly low boundary as an adult she’s in her forties acting like she’s not able to respect another’s autonomy or basic judgement. She’s got my mom wrapped around her finger and uses that to attack me on a regular basis I’m 33, I’m not sure she even grasps boundaries or respect. I worry for her kids because they’re pretty childish for their age and it’s her controlling behavior that causes that.

[@queennchronicales7815]

Hello ,you are so right we have to set boundaries and stand by them no matter if it's family. I am learning this too. Have w wonderful rest of your Sunday 🌞🌻🦋

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

😊Thank you and you too!!

[@pennyc7064]

Great video! I've taken notes! My question is how to deal with a coworker who does not want to follow the rules even though she has been advised and her lack in doing so affects my part of the job? Do you have a video on this type of situation?

[@CherylSlane-lh2cy]

Oh and another issue with them , when I try to set boundaries with anyone, then they start making false accounts, and fake pages to do all the bidding. It gets really old after a while. Just had to put that out there as well. There are days when I honestly feel there’s no way around these things especially in an age where everything is electronic and social media based.

[@NaTashaBLMFT]

Thank you 🙏🏾 needed to hear this! Great tips. Can you discuss setting boundaries with parents.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

You're welcome. Absolutely!! And thank you.

[@janinebean4276]

What do you do if someone just like…pretends nothing happened after you set the boundary? Doesn’t really respond, then just shows up to the next family thing and says nothing about it?

[@taraarrington2285]

They will never respect me I'm pretty sure no contact is the only option at this point

[@maggs8964]

Love your videos on family dynamics, thank you for sharing your wisdom 🦋

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Thank you so much! Glad to hear they are helpful.🙂

[@taraarrington2285]

Can you answer why the flying monkeys are always so angry

[@CherylSlane-lh2cy]

For me I’m scared of setting boundaries leaves me broke with no cash, it gets took from me. It’s hard because you either listen to them so you can get your $500 that month or if I back talk it gets reduced, given late, or cut off, because I’m not working his family and my husband gets to hold stuff like that over my head. I’m scared to say anything to them to the point, my mental health is deteriorating. To get a job in this day n age, clean resume and 36 I’m sure “not saying it’s impossible” but will difficult to get hired, and it was never an issue until now, 17 years later. It’s really hard. Then they make u feel wrong because your less worthy.. I really have been able to get it. For years I try to say nothing.

[@destroyraiden]

I set boundaries of don't do this or don't touch/use my stuff and they still do it a million times retelling them later & they keep doing it and I explode then maybe they'll respect them for a few months unless I explode around a stranger then they'll be good for whole year but I shouldn't have to be driven to explode or near homicidal rage for them to get the point! It's just plainly deliberately & malicious that they can't abide by this rule for me but will gladly do the same thing for someone in the "click".

[@dontworry3826]

What is your advice if youre stuck too? Like I WISH I could set real boundaries and stick to them but im also disabled and on SSDI. So if I actually do it, im easily on the street again. Idk whats worse. I keep going back and forth about it. Ive TRIED for years to get them to go to therapy too to no avail. Idk what else to do.

[@TheSaigonSaint]

I want to set a boundaries because I want to focus on my wife and kids first, and basically have enough that everyone dumps their problems on me like if I am still a child and only there to listen and listen and listen… But I am always the first to be left alone when I need help cause I overreact, I am a snowflake, have problems with everything.

[@gonthebeat88]

Wow. Great topic, I need to apply this to my life with pushy/dominant family members.

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

It is difficult when the narcissist honors the boundary at his convenience(most of the time). So frustrating.

[@afromama9089]

Thanks 😊

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Welcome 😊

[@Waiting4Friday]

Thanks

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Welcome!

[@ellemaio8186]

I am often told that I am stepping over boundaries. Apparently I drive people crazy, to suicide or put them in rage. People then attack me personally since they want to see me being affected by their mood. And to not give them that satisfaction, I stay indifferent. I may lie, attack them where it actually hurts or point out things they have done in the past that they now regret. I don’t feel like I am stepping over any boundaries, I just don’t want to be disrespected and as long as that is a given I don’t cause any trouble. I get that I leave the people defeated and that is exactly what I want. except: They don’t manipulate me or attack me personally. I am creating an advantage for myself by not stepping over a boundary. Maybe this helps with understanding people that are manipulative. I am trying to change this, since I want to get people to trust me so I can use them more easily and to not create any disadvantages for myself.

[@angelacasein7059]

Lol ok… so you’re openly admitting to wanting to use ppl ? Sounds kinda psychopathic