How To MOVE ON, LET GO & LEAVE Your Past In The Past | Julia Samuel

Subscribe to Friday Five for my popular weekly newsletter - my tips, my experience, my inspiration, what’s working for me. A high five from me to you: drchatterjee.com/fridayfive
Why does family matter so much to us? Like it or not, we all carry our upbringing into our adult lives. Our family is wired in us genetically and it shows in our responses to life, our beliefs, and the ‘fault lines’ that trigger us in daily life. Could finding out more about our families be the key to knowing more about ourselves?
Caution: contains mild swearing.
#feelbetterlivemore
-----
Connect with Julia:
Website juliasamuel.co.uk/
Instagram / juliasamuelmbe
Facebook / juliasamuelmbe
Julia’s books:
Every Family Has A Story: How We Inherit Love and Loss amzn.to/3q6oY3P
This Too Shall Pass: Stories of Change, Crisis and Hopeful Beginnings amzn.to/32tYzkR
Grief Works: Stories of Life, Death and Surviving amzn.to/33ycupt
#feelbetterlivemore #feelbetterlivemorepodcast
-------
Sign up to my new newsletter - Friday Five drchatterjee.com/fridayfive
Order Happy Mind Happy Life. UK version amzn.to/304opgJ, US & Canada version amzn.to/3DRxjgp
Feel Great Lose Weight is available to order in the UK amzn.to/2W6bsOE and in the US & Canada amzn.to/2GWPgls
Dr Chatterjee’s book Feel Better in 5 is out now in the UK amzn.to/2G0XK7l and in the US and Canada amzn.to/2EB2oM0
Order Dr Chatterjee’s book The Stress Solution amzn.to/2MZ8u8h
Find Dr Chatterjee’s 4 Pillars of Health in The 4 Pillar Plan available via amzn.to/2yGfpuB
The US version, How to Make Disease Disappear is available via amzn.to/2Gj1YEL
-----
Listen to all previous podcast episodes on drchatterjee.com/podcast or via these podcast platforms by searching for 'Feel Better, Live More'.
Apple Podcasts - podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast...
Acast - www.acast.com/feelbetterlivemore
Stitcher - www.stitcher.com/podcast/feel...
Spotify - open.spotify.com/show/6NyPQfc...
-----
Follow Dr Chatterjee at:
Website: drchatterjee.com/
Facebook: / drchatterjee
Twitter: / drchatterjeeuk
Instagram: / drchatterjee
Newsletter: drchatterjee.com/subscription
DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

[@janeplanner7159]

‘You cannot fix what you don’t face.’ Never heard this before. So true & such a clear way of explaining why addiction/self-medicating, numbing behaviours don’t work.

[@northwestcoast]

I know what you’re getting at but the insidious power of addiction comes from the fact that it does work in the immediate short term. Russell Brand said something along the lines of ‘reality is the problem, addiction is the solution’

[@jsi4064]

It's a very old and very common expression, I'm glad it resonates with you.

[@jsi4064]

@@northwestcoast What are you trying to say? I don't think RB was advocating addiction by saying it is a solution. He overcame addictionS.

[@mariasalvador3976]

@@northwestcoast it Oil mi Jiji in n my bio kill Nikki I kk lol I IMO on k jijiji I hi I j

[@nicolekotras9059]

Vvv

[@user-vd5uj1ue2d]

This book changed my whole perspective if my life. My behaviour and its consequences. With 3 suicides in my direct family, an overwhelming sende if fear and abandonment had permiated every inch of my physical and mental self. Currently suffering with depression, anxiety and chronic fatigue/fibromyalgia, its so much more clear now that i have to come to terms with so many things to give my whooe system any chance of recovering. I think my family dynamic had basically meant I have felt permanently cast out of the tribe and wandering the earth in my own. Connection is so key but im just not wired for it without thr use of self medication to help me through. At almost 40 life I thought was suspposed to get eaiser. I have a feeling its about to get a whole lot harder.

[@leshreddur]

Very true. I had my parents divorce when I was 2 and they both found other partners and had one child each, so I have 4 parents, and a little half brother from one side and a little half sister from the other. I have been told I am wise well beyond my years, but have multiple PTSD from the conflict between my 4 parents, because I got the dirty end of the stick between their fights. In hindsight they didn't think, oh how will us continuing this feud effect me? They simply went on and tensions only grew worse, well my step dad and step mother stayed out of it, but my mother and father would not make peace to set me at easy. My mother sort of instigated, oh 80% of the problems, my father would retaliate and fill up the other 20%. As time went on my father grew and became a much more compassionate person than he was, grew up and could take anything my mother threw at him and not let it bother him. My mother degraded and drank too much, lead on to her paranoia and old judgements of whom my father was 20 years ago. No he was a much more collected person, honestly with no doubt thanks to my stepmother being such a good logical influence on him and me as well. Dealing with family turmoil is unspeakably difficult, if not, impossible for some, because of those old grudges. Twice as wise maybe, twice as messed up too. At 38 I feel blessed to have them all, all things considered. They did their best to love me, and teach me all they know, part of life is being told, you will suffer the worlds abuse and lose unfairly when you actually won. Lies will be spoken about you and people will believe it. You will suffer pain and grief and sadness and remorse, but you have been given enough knowledge and love to withstand it all and prevail against anything. The people I love, love me back. The people who don't love me, leave me alone. And almost everyone loves me in life, family and work, so, Life is Good!

[@sixpackmum5955]

Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. So personal and I can only imagine what kind of hardship and difficult emotions and circumstances you got to deal with from such a young age. I can feel your courage and kindness and compassion as I read your story and it’s very inspiring. I hope everything goes well for you and have a beautiful life. All the best with everything 👍💪☺️

[@wastedanalogues8991]

Wow yes thank you, using the steps we've been given, because they were given to us for a reason.

[@mirandaandrea8215]

Lovely doc and guest! But my god I think the vast majority of us do not get seen heard or treated with compassion from the Dr's! I never have! 😢

[@littlelulu4107]

A beautiful conversation... Ty I had PTSD while serving in the military that I know was passed on to my second child. She came out with this anxiety and couldn’t sleep very well. She was attached to me to the extreme. At 4 weeks old, she cried when I left the house and nearly drove Oma crazy bc she wouldn’t stop, hours later, until I walked in the door and she heard my voice. The next three years were very difficult for her and I. She is now 31 years old and still suffer sleep issues, food issues, etc.

[@ABCD-si7px]

It is normal for a four week old to panic without their Mother.

[@EmbodyYourDivinity]

love this discussion and am in total agreement. As a food addiction expert who helps women get free from whatever addictions or obsessions are holding them back, I share your philosophy that it is only by facing what we have been hiding and distracting ourselves from, that the path of true liberation and freedom can begin. thank you for the powerful work you are doing.

[@ReligionAndMaterialismDebunked]

Nice nice. #GoVegan 🌱💚🔥😻 For health. For tastes. For the animals. For ending world hunger. For the planet.

[@ReligionAndMaterialismDebunked]

I'm 50% Euro Jewish, according to my brother's DNA. Hehe. ^_^

[@meggrotte4760]

I don't know I spent 8 years in counseling. I've done inner healing in prayer through Christianity which was very helpful and finally Deliverance which really made a massive difference Not everyone that is physically or mentally or sexually harmed as a child or all of the above as a child develops demonic issues but sometimes they do But she is right about this it doesn't heal if you don't face it and talk about it and there's a particular therapy that I really found helpful it's called EMDR therapy If you're suffering from PTSD or complex PTSD like me this really does help but everything in that I mentioned is really helpful providing you have the right people helping you

[@veronikathornley6516]

It is an absolute pleasure to listen to this conversation. I am a mother of two, started my healing journey with intergenerational trauma healing through my first pregnancy. I knew deep down this is the only way to secure my children 's mental, emotional, physical, spiritual well being. It would have hurt so much if they had to tap into these traumatic experience in their lives. Thank you very much for the podcast and this conversation. ❤

[@ArtByHazel]

How beautiful it is when we can make sense of our transgenerational traumas, pain suffering and finally have wisdom. Life is all about experiencing emotions without judging or making it wrong. I get it now. It takes courage to break the cycle of 5-8 generations. Course correct and take on the work to heal within. This is a beautiful conversation. The powerful message of: ❤️ Gratitude ❤️ Forgiveness ❤️ Sparkle ✨ ❤️ Secure and loving attachment with self ❤️ Hope to live ❤️ Finding meaning and still love from a place of wholeness, unconditional love. Ahhhh! Life is a gift. And exchanging stories from one generation to generation authentic, beautiful resilience of the human spirit and more. ❤️

[@suzannadwyer3706]

Can so relate to those impacted by lockdown. I was a child born in WW11 in southern Holland and had a panic attack early on when in a closed room with others and on one person became angry and started to shout. I just fled and ran. took a couple of hours to quiet my breathing. We definitely carry our past.

[@16Elless]

How fascinating that things like anxiety etc can actually be passed down in the womb to the next generation. I’m 60+ & have always been quite an anxious & also very risk averse person. Exactly like my mother was. Maybe her mother too. I don’t have children but I wonder if my tendencies would have been passed on if I had. Regarding choice in life, it’s great to have, especially for women but today there’s almost too much choice in some areas which can be overwhelming. Less can so often be more.

[@nancynahnigoh3550]

Beside listening to this type of talks or affirmations other things that help me feel positive , confidence and happy is I become a vegetarian for the past 30 years , now I am older young than your age as a number , I never depend on medication , I take natural remedies that grown around us whether foods from grains , fruits , leafy green or herbs , that are my medicines , past 30 years I didn’t see doctors , I hope you do the same start today onwards , good lucks to you and another on is the techniques breathing from Wim Hoff , I love his methods of breathing to cure any sickness in early stages

[@ciaranperry4677]

It's not exactly true, genetics can determine your propensity for anxiety but it's development comes from experiences and inherited behaviours, once identified you can absolutely work on and change your perception and reduce the bodies stress response.

[@16Elless]

@@ciaranperry4677 so a bit of nature & nurture I guess.

[@padmar3034]

@@nancynahnigoh3550 What is that type of breathing and how can I learn it?

[@nancynahnigoh3550]

@@padmar3034 you must from the iceman , he is a founder of technique breathing , that is Wim Hof from Poland , I watched his video almost everyday without failed you will amazed by his technique breathing , please watch his video , there is a beginner breathing properly , yes please learn for healthiness

[@rshah3771]

"love and connection....". Sums it up for me... phenomenal conversation 💐🌸💞

[@dionzoe6716]

❤

[@kamleshkapoor8623]

This is so real and natural conversation, Dr Rangan. Love this. Anyone can resemble this with some of their experience specially immigrants from India where we have a culture of living in such a big joint families and have specific authentic way of maintaining relationships with elders. Children who come here, most of them don’t have interaction with their families except parents.

[@Tortise02]

'Mum, and who's doing what' really resonated with me. Except now there's only me, and Mom's beyond having conversations, and we were never a family who talked about the things that matter.

[@happyday868]

The really really expensive therapists in northern California treats people look into the ancestors for treatment. I've looked into my own family. It is so true. Problems started so way up and I thank a friend for making me aware.

[@mariaware8445]

Wow this has really hit with me about my family and how loss has affected us and how we have all dealt with our grief. My mum was the matriarch of our family and the.last of that generation. When she passed, me and my siblings are the last tier in the family tree. The effect on our relationships has been hard. Great discussion and i will be buying her book

[@gayamaya1506]

I felt so much love and compassion as you understand the human condition that were conditioned to forget who they are!! Our human family is amnesic an alien!! I'm also in the wellness coaching to bring people to live from light, it's so amazing indeed, we have so much potential. I'm author of the Sacred message for Mankind and the extraordinaries experiences of the crop circle 2011, the Illumination of our divine DNA 2013...My return to India to reconnect from my past life prove that we are not dying!!!

[@karenohanlon4183]

My mum was orphaned at 7. Traumatized in an infamous religious institution. She did not like to talk about it. From what I gather it was dreadful. She was very smothering, with us her words not mine.Her sister from whom she was estranged committed suicide.Her brothers were sent to another country. Conversations were always strained. The trauma was passed down and chaos was the order of the day. The advice is great if you are middle class and you can afford the introspection. The sitting round the table was shooting the breeze did not exist. So it was her up and get on with it motto. Ain't nobody there so you have to survive and keep going.

[@paulwade4322]

What about those who don't have a family? Yes, there are many of us out here. Many people raised themselves and are shamed by experts like this, she should realize this unless she serves a very limited population.

[@19lorelay]

Everyone had some people around them to learn from, to gain experience with and create patterns in their attitude, except you were in the jungle. Even if you dont have a family same things apply to people who surrounded you or the missing parents in your life, their lack could be the trauma itself. Most people have families so for me expressing this in this way is a part of your trauma that you had to take care of yourself on your own and something you can start working on to find peace with this situation in your life

[@paulwade4322]

@@19lorelay so are you saying that those 'people around them' are family? they may be paid caretakers, teachers or even blood relatives who simply don't care. Are you saying one should consider them family?

[@19lorelay]

@@paulwade4322 the only thing I wanted to say that everyone we grew up with formed the way we are. Calling them family in this interview is easier since most people grew up in a family. That doesnt mean that there arent abusive and unloving families as well. In this video they just want to say we have to face what happened to us in the childhood no matter what the circumstances were and to work on finding peace with it and learn to self reflect ourselves so that we do not suffer from subconscious patterns our environment in the childhood created for us. The fact you feel offended by the wording shows only that you struggled somehow and that you believe that growing up in your biological family would make your life better, so you need someone to name extra your case as well, because you need someone to acknowledge your suffering. But they just use the term family cause its the most common case - not always the happiest - for example i was abused in my own family.

[@janswimwild]

I’m sorry about the sense of loss that gives you. I had the structure of a family but was outside of it and I find listening to some of this painful, knowing that trying to have a ‘family’ discussion would have resulted in cold polite civilised dismissal. There is an assumption here of a family structure but we all know that some are raised without any semblance of that. I haven’t read Julia’s book yet but I know that she had a difficult background herself. I hope you can find someone to talk with regularly who could give you a sense of being connected and having safe space.

[@patriciagriffin1505]

It’s unfortunate and sad for those of us that grew up in a home of narcissistic and psychopathic parents and relatives. They sure don’t want to listen to anything other than their version of the family story my siblings grew up to harm many many others and can’t listen to the reality of this.

[@thelightworkercoach]

Thank you so much - this has been one of the most powerful interviews from your work that has spoken to me, my past, trauma & healing journey. I appreciate you, your guests & all the work you to to raise the level of consciousness. Namaste!

[@kelleymcfadden9675]

Please allow me to share my best friend's story with you. This family knows where to turn in times of grief. Family Story Little did our family of six know that Friday evening, September 24th, 2021, would be the last night our family would be complete. We laughed together, played games, sang, and enjoyed listening as our 16-year-old son, Ethan, played the piano for us. I packed a lunch for Ethan for a church mountain hike he was going on the following day. My mother (who was visiting from out of state) and I woke early with Ethan on Saturday morning. He hugged me and smiled, never pulling away or rushing me. He got in the car, waved, said he'd see me later and he loved me. It was hard to watch my "new driver" heading out on his own that morning. As Ethan pulled out of the gate, I turned to my mother and said, "It's just so hard letting go." Little did I know how much "letting go" I was really doing. That was the last time I saw Ethan. He did not make it home that evening. That afternoon, a friend tried to contact my husband, leaving an urgent message to call him back. He tried several times to return the call to no avail. As we were preparing supper, an overwhelming feeling of deep concern for Ethan filled my heart. I quietly blinked back tears. I glanced out the window, half expecting to see a police officer pull up to the house, but no one arrived. However, within a few minutes, a patrol car DID pull into the driveway. In my heart, I feared the worst. My husband and I went out to meet the officer, who confirmed our fears. Hesitantly, he told us our son had fallen off of a bluff and had succumbed to his injuries. Our hearts were crushed; they still are. Yet, in all of our brokenness, deep, continual grief and loneliness, our family has such a blessed Hope and assurance that we will see our dear son and brother again. You see, when Ethan was a young boy, he was saved; he put his faith in Jesus alone to forgive his sins and to take him to Heaven when he died. He realized some very important truths from the Bible that he would want to share with you. His Story Everyone is a sinner. Sin is any violation of God’s Law. God is holy, just and righteous, and He cannot allow sin in His presence. Ethan realized that he - like all of us - had sinned; and his sin separated Him from God. “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; ” (Romans 3:23) “Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned:” (Romans 5:12) He understood that, because of his sin, he deserved to spend eternity in Hell. “For the wages of sin is death;” (Romans 6:23a) [Wages: price] “But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.” (Revelation 21:8) Ethan believed that Jesus, God’s Son, paid the price for all sin when He died on the cross - because His sinless sacrifice was the only thing that could satisfy the just demands of a righteous, holy God. Jesus was buried in a borrowed tomb, but He arose the third day, triumphant over sin, death, and Hell. Jesus is alive today! “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16) “For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9) Ethan was sorry for his sin, repented (turned), and received by faith the free gift that God offered to him. “For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13) “...but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” (Romans 6:23b) Because of this great salvation, Ethan lived his life serving Jesus. He worked hard to spread this Good News to the world. He is alive in Heaven with Jesus today; and because of this great HOPE in Christ, we know we will see him again soon - not because he was a great kid, but because of his faith in the great Saviour! “And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.” (John 10:28) Your Story What about you? What if you had fallen to your death that day - What if you were to die today? Where will you spend eternity - Heaven or the Lake of Fire? There will not be any parties in the Lake of Fire. It is a place of eternal torment for those who reject God's Son. The Word of God is very clear that there is only One Way to Heaven. “Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” (John 14:6) We did not know that Ethan would step into eternity that day; however, because he put his faith in Jesus alone for his salvation, Ethan was ready to go. Some day - perhaps today - you will take your last breath here on earth, and you will step into eternity. Where you spend eternity is determined by what you do with Jesus Christ. Will you accept Him or reject Him? You are not promised another day or another breath. Eternity begins soon - Are you ready? “...Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved…” (Acts 16:31b) “For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13) “(...behold, now is the day of salvation.)” (2 Corinthians 6:2c) ****************************** This testimony has been made into a tract form as well, so if you or your church are interested in having them to pass out, please go to libertyfaith.net and you will find the contact info there. God bless! Tribute to Ethan Lakey kzbin.info/www/bejne/e5nSk5aHj5uEmJo

[@Scepps]

Exactly 👏 everyone needs to be aware of this!

[@mimmycal]

Wise souls- deeply needed information. I’m watching similar scenarios in the family I built -with my 2 adult sons now the toddlers/my grandchildren. Their father who is shut down & now a grandfather. I broke the cycle 21 years ago-on my end by not living with this shut down behavior. I see today 2,000 miles away -my sons avoiding the unavoidable. 1 acting like his father& grandfather - the other blowing up like his maternal grandfather. I pray they go deeper and break the cycle. 12 step work woke me up in 1986. But I have no control over others.

[@lynda.d]

My mom lived through the war as a child. The Russian invasion of Ukraine has brought back strong memories of the war. Some of her friends are surprised by the same feelings. Similar to Katie being triggered by the COVID shutdowns. Specific triggers.

[@barbaralynch5119]

I totally agree, we do not allow ourselves time out on our own. A lot of the time people are afraid to face what it is that has unsettled us. We can also feel guilty for taking time for ourselves! Love this episode, thank you 😊

[@alid3424]

Such lovely work from both of you❣️ I believe you're making the world a better place just by having these discussions, nevermind all the epiphanies & changes within the lives of those of us listening. Gratitude and blessings to you both 😊

[@robini.1338]

Hello… I love this show and watch it often! Today’s discussion was fascinating!! Thank you! Robin🤗🌺

[@valbyrne8946]

This conversation has been excellent and so helpful.

[@bettinazwerdling9158]

There are times when 'family of origin' is SO toxic and deeply wounding, clueless, deadened or lost, or have such f'ed up boundaries and crazy-making ways of handling the inevitable challenges and ups and downs and requirements in life or a handle the desire to say 'the unhelpful, unskillful patterns I would like to 'stop with me/us', that it seems best, wisest, sanest to choose to surrender to this fact (and perhaps grieve and then LET GO) of these realities. And go on to find and make 'love and connections within oneself (or to put it in IFS therapy approach terms, Self/selves) and with OTHER, more conscious, imperfect but willing/capable to grow people. Some people are simple not conscious enough, are WILLFULLY ignorant and 'comfortable' in their (often narcissistic) patterns of living, or are so destructive (to others, to those they 'assume' relationship with because 'you are family' and 'owe them' bottomless engagement, etc -- that it is best to understand that one is not forever in need to negotiation with THEIR 'limits', their lack of CORE strength (the so called hole in the soul) and their repeated refusal to own ANY of this (yes, they just 'see' or experience it differently) -- that the choice to survive and stay sane and not forever triggered or subject to bottomless negativity, neediness and frustrated engagement -- is to word on oneself -- and to 'LET GO' of one's deeply dysregulated, unhappy, maladaptive and IN DENIAL family or origin. At the same time, one can acknowledge and learn about the impact of 'family of origin, early childhood and wiring or just living with these other people experiences --within oneSelf/selves (to use an IFS term for oneself), and appreicate and 'work with' how one is prone to 'carry those energies', habits and patterns -- unconsciously and consciously -- how this paints our 'assumptions and beliefs' and can instill our triggers and boundaries and sense of possibility. And how one can, unexamined life or over-fixated and tied to the past life, tend to repeat or overcompensate for some of it. To ruminate around it. I am struck by how this....'facing the pain' thing is still essential -- not necessarily alone, but WITHIN oneself. But one does NOT have to do it with the actual family of origin -- if that has revealed itself to be too challenging, endlessly hampering, and/or impossible. We are mortal beings -- and time, energy, heart, learning and living are all precious in our human and limited lives. I just thought that this was important to say.-- If your experience of family is so toxic or dysregulating to one's brain, body and existence, and sometimes families that look more functional are actually NOT for at least some of the original members -- the path to a healhier experience of 'love and connection' is a meaningful, real alternative, and the appreciation for the gift of Life and self-responsibility being to 'Life itself' (sanity, health, joy, wiser/life-enhancing, less destructive & unhappy ways) vs. 'family' of origin per se, etc.

[@dianawitty9628]

I couldn’t agree more…I’m sick from defending my version of reality about their persistent stale boring bad behavior… just a waste of time all in the name of Love, because we’re family….if you had behaved in a loving manner and not been spoiled and then expected the same from others we wouldn’t have a. Problem… and don’t let me get started about the lies and gaslighting and the forming alliances. And then there’s the stealing…just can’t subject myself to that anymore. Alcoholics! They have to find their own way out of that and you staying in their lives just aids them in not doing that!!!

[@pernillegabel-jrgensen4079]

What an amazeing discussion between two sympathic and very Wise persons. Thank You very much for bringing so Importent themes in a nice manner To humanity.🙏😊🌹

[@kristahertz2690]

So needed this today . !!!

[@kianleyon6613]

Thank you for another wonderful and helpful video, what you are doing on youtube is so incredibly valuable.

[@aquickstory2196]

part of adapting to a very difficult truth..is denial. powerful

[@janetmatte7991]

I listen to this and wonder what you would say to those who have no siblings, no parents, just a long line of foster parents and care homes? What do we say to them and how do you help them? They are usually the most at risk, no education to speak of because they go from school system to school system. Low paying dead end jobs. What can we do for them? I am really glad these people can get the help they need.....everyone does.

[@dr.gordonshumway7116]

Needed to hear this. Thank you

[@shirleymoodley5019]

Extremely powerful 🇿🇦

[@carolynclitheroe3588]

I have huge respect and admiration for this woman.

[@babettejennichan9228]

I love your podcast!

[@mariselamoreno5787]

Thank you both for bringing us this valuable insight into family trauma. 🙏👍

[@javadivawithdog]

Amazing discussion! THANK YOU ❤️

[@kamleshkapoor8623]

This is incredibly useful for them. Great examples👍🙏🏾

[@timw4369]

Easier said then done. The mind is a powerful thing

[@shirleymoodley5019]

This is what I needed to hear🇿🇦🙏🏻

[@yeshonestly4268]

Forgive someone to heal your gut.😎

[@enfermeiranomade2695]

I finished watch it now and I am so amazed. Thank you

[@margaretlangton5349]

Thank you so much .amazing xx

[@user-jy4dn5ym8e]

Very deep and inspiring

[@enfermeiranomade2695]

" I am doing it differently because you made such a bad job " 🤣 I was really thinking to say it ...ok I will not anymore🙃

[@veronicarodriguez2095]

Wonderful to listen to this and look into my own families and family chains Woww love this !! ❤🙏🏼👌🌟

[@Daniel-ct8zv]

"ram das" what he said is nerrow!!! You can live an entire life time without your family and get the same experience!.. And in some cases you get a second chance/new lease on life, with or without them... This revaluation ALONE blessed me with FREEDOM!..

[@tjohnson1091]

Great learning lessons

[@gayamaya1506]

Great interview!!

[@pokuaokra]

Great interview

[@Abbyramrosy]

Very valuable insights

[@Melinabellisima]

Omg the commercials

[@shirleymoodley5019]

Dr I have been through-traumatised hell and back

[@Dean-zi5bj]

Thank you brother and greetings from Charlotte Nc. When you coming to the US man?

[@user-nz5dl1fd5n]

This was incredible for me. I think everyone should give this a listen.

[@marzymarrz5172]

And you have to never stop working on forgiveness. It is not easy

[@MsSylvana63]

Fabulous relevant content ✨👌🏾

[@ellensteens7368]

Very interesting. What about descendants of slaves. My grandfather was born 3-4 yrs after slavery was abolished. My grandparents were also traumatized by then reconstruction era.

[@llkellenba]

Which book of hers are they referring to? Nice information though I’ve heard it all and tried very hard to work with my fragmented unattached family. They are not interested. In fact hostile to my interest and efforts to engage. I moved to a city after parents died and my retirement where two of my sisters and family live. Their disengagement worsened and hardened against me during the latest political and pandemic/world catastrophes. Family lots of addiction and cult like religious involvement. I’m truly alone. I’ve always tried to find answers, problem solve and create family connections but here I sit In near total isolation with all of my illusions stripped bare. Extremely frustrating and painful. Family indifference seems impenetrable. Society itself is Fractured.

[@raewynurwin4256]

Kia ora Laura, I'm hearing you Sista. This planet earth is our landing and learning we are here to partake in life lessons none of which were/are accidental. On a soul level they are vital. Your soul has obviously progressed sooner than your siblings. We can take the ducklings to the waters edge but can't make em drink. Your thirst for inner/outer peace wants satiation, many live in denial of emotional hygeine. A big bunch of hand picked love I'm sending your way. Inhale and exhale you got it. It's the gift we give ourselves and share with others. Arohanui from NZ.

[@llkellenba]

@@raewynurwin4256 many thanks ☺️ my patience, internal accountability and radical acceptance of “what is” a work in progress … 💗

[@julivictoria4501]

@@llkellenba you seem well on your way, Laura. This you tube poster clearly is helping many of us find a way forward to our best lives. May peace & enlightenment be yours 🙏

[@yourenough3]

I would like to know the name of your book and also is it available on audible ? I listen to audible while I work out and while I'm going my red light therapy. Love this man's channel and his passion ❤️

[@One-2-3-4]

Godddd.. thank you both. For your sharing your Love & Connection. Greeting The Nethetlands :-)

[@car.d.8886]

Would love to hear the male therapist talk about his thoughts with thinking words. Not everything is a feeling. “I think” is fine too.

[@melissawhitfield9990]

Where is the full interview please. I really enjoyed this bite size. Thank you

[@MusicaAngela]

28:42 “You cannot fix what you don’t face.”

[@NewBeginnings2.0]

What happens to those of us who lost their mother's and have father's who are not emotionally interested in family when it comes to excavating untold stories?

[@wambuialice957]

so profound

[@Hero-yl8fu]

It's astonishing how many people are prepared to turn their arm into a pin cushion

[@mybeautifuljourney7540]

Which of the books had the family stories? You listed 3 books and one is not yet out. Thanks for replying.

[@shahara3053]

Although I question the Holocaust, this was a great discussion. Thanks

[@jenniferkilleen9642]

What is her book called, would live to read it.

[@kgt9925]

The worst is to grow up in a family in which the individuals have no voice and, therefore, no collective voice.

[@snazzie-designz]

Wow! What a wonderful and enlightening discussion. How refreshing to see an interviewer who has actually done their research beforehand and is asking such pertinent and informed questions at the perfect time with sensitivity and understanding allowing their very knowledgeable guest to express such wisdom and enlightenment in such a relatable way.

[@user-nx6ji9tk8i]

Puts me in mind of Susan Jeffers I read in the 1980s : ‘Feel the fear and do it anyway….’

[@maxwatson801]

This made me wonder if some of the conflicts that are present in our world are actually caused by the experience of previous generations lived out in the anxieties and fears of current events. It may seem obvious but does epigenetic inergenerational trauma transfer have a part to play in Russia, Israel, Northern Ireland.......

[@LightRenowned]

Please dear Lord God, work with my family to heal multigenerational trauma, I have six children, and my mother is currently alive though very ill. A life of constant stress, dysfunctionalism... I’m called to share my wisdom!!

[@jenniferkilleen9642]

Absolute insight into covid, so sad.

[@garyrobertson3645]

💪🏼💪🏼 👍.

[@jdestef]

More clickbaity thumbnails. Why do you do this to yourself? Your videos are good enough to stand on their own. You do yourself a disservice by using cringy thumbnails and video titles.

[@susanbyron6499]

AA acronym to recognize signs of a distressed system HALT: Hungry Angry Lonely Tired

[@elisesing5630]

I saw this therapist work with Helena Bonham Carter. She is really brilliant. I hope she more properly attributes her ideas about inherited trauma though to Mark Wolynn and Bert Hellinger. She literally says It Didn’t Start With You… the name of Wolynn’s book….but does not clearly attribute those ideas to Wolynn. When she speaks without making her sources clear…. It sounds like these are her personal discoveries as a decades long psychotherapist. But many of her insights in this interview are not her original ideas. 🙏🎈🌈

[@sandybrown3879]

It's when you ate in your 40s and parents still think you should not be heard

[@namthomson1124]

🥰🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

[@meggrotte4760]

Well that's true if you don't have Christ but I've always gone back to my family and if anything I feel stronger and more able to not be affected by them because my identity is in Jesus not my family It doesn't mean that I don't love and respect them of course they do but I look to the one who brings healing to all aspects of life

[@hei7586]

@meg grotte , the first part is true and I think, an intimate and trusting relationship with God can help to fill in a lack of love and trust from your family. But nevertheless you cannot and must not simply deny your own family's impact but have to face it and reconcile or integrate it into your life.

[@meggrotte4760]

@@hei7586 well that was the easy part integrating my family life. Compared to the other stuff that happened outside of my family that was much worse from the ages of 9 to 13.

[@triplet9213]

Its not that simple! You people only see one side! You don't see my haters side. They are reinforcing their hate. If I am on the internet, they already know my buttons and they trigger them with videos and ads, If I go out they have people walking around on purpose to trigger me with many different things. Oh God! I don't know what to do about all of this.

[@hei7586]

Dear Triple T, you sound to me as if you might be having an issue with the reality you experience. If you are suffering from this situation, please go and find psychological help. Your GP could be a first help, too.

[@ReligionAndMaterialismDebunked]

Early. Hehe. I saw it earlier, but waited to click.

[@bella-wt6xo]

Too much annoying advertisements

[@jdmosaics]

Dr just shut down the comments here as many are not related to your interview 🤪

[@philotown]

I do watch, listen to your uploads and I found this disappointing. Too much stating the obvious. I am a still working old soldier, born early 50s, blue collar/working class. Old school. You are both "middle class". You cannot have an understanding of my mindset. You cannot walk a mile in my shoes. Truthfully Julia Samuels sounds a bit glib. Romany

[@shamirarose5]

H A L T ...hungry angry lonely tired

[@turkanakdeniz4447]

To late to cover all this …

[@meggrotte4760]

Sadly a lot of problems don't come from family they can come from friends or people you think are friends or any other person for that matter The problem with humanity is that we are not good we have the ability to do good but we choose not ro There's nothing a person can do to remove their inherently sinful nature and accept Christ Of course there's some truth to what this woman says but it's not the complete the truth

[@angelakrynauw168]

Ciicccccccccccccciccc hi

[@BUBBLESPOGO]

I detest my relatives Nasty and abusive. Life is much better without them in the picture

[@ReligionAndMaterialismDebunked]

Nice nice. #GoVegan 🌱💚🔥😻 For health. For tastes. For the animals. For ending world hunger. For the planet. I'm 50% Euro Jewish, according to my brother's DNA. Hehe. ^_^

[@elokubano]

Or go carnivore for good metnal health and sex drive :)

[@englander2265]

*Investing in crypto now should be in every wise individuals list, in some months time you'll be ecstatic with the decision you made today*

[@leeann8091]

Some people worry so much about stimulus check, government empowerment, gambling,etc while there is enough room to make money in crypto investment•

[@commerceusa]

I've heard alot About Mr Chris Lawrence trading service.. I'm little Surprised you guys mentioned and recommended him here too, his service are awesome💯💯💯

[@raewynurwin4256]

Is this the place to leave a speel about crypto. Just asking can't find a connection.

[@jdmosaics]

@@raewynurwin4256 it’s all a scam and should be blocked from this site!

[@janetbarnes9196]

I will never stop saying thank you #DrEdeSpellCaster for bringing my ex back to me with your powerful love spell. Thank you sir you are forever recommended.

[@upendasana7857]

I don't think this woman has anything new to say that has not been said by every other therapist or new developments in trauma treatment or addiction etc or things like non violent communication. For instance that tip she gave about asking the other person to repeat back to you what they heard comes from NVC and other therapeutic techniques..honestly she makes them sound like they are hers somehow or that she thought of them...she didn't,they come from training and things developed and created by other people. I find this woman very disingenuous as she does not give credit to those she has learnt these techniques from and makes it appear as if they are her own ...I find her quite dishonest in that regard and self promoting. I don't care how many books a person has written it often does not make them the best therapists or practitioners..in fact some of the best practitioners are so busy doing their work or working to make sure people have access to services or therapy that they do not have time to write books.

[@raewynurwin4256]

Sorry you feel this way, I'm 74 yr old retired nurse and find her most helpful. Does it matter where her info comes from it's the delivery that counted for me. Can I add that intellectual entitlement is so tied to money and prestige its saddening. There is nothing new under the sun, all has been before in some other shape or form. Knowledge should never be considered a preserve of few, especially if it has potential to improve our human condition. Dr Sam Vaknin does give credit to his source of supply. However it is academia flexing her muscles and squeezes the human beingness into a fruitbowl of words. When in fact our main drive towards good mental and physical health is influenced via our emotional engine. That's my experience, fear of expressing ones emotions causes unnecessary trauma and on into future generations it marches without apology.

[@julivictoria4501]

@@raewynurwin4256 well said!

[@raewynurwin4256]

@@julivictoria4501 thank you Julie, love this old adage,'When the student is ready the teacher will appear.' It's rung true many a time for me and from some unlikely sources. My children and grandchildren included.

[@upendasana7857]

@@raewynurwin4256 Absolutely ,,too often education or certain intellectual capital is too often the preserve of the few or certain people's knowledge is considered more valuable or is listened to more than others.I would suggest this woman is maybe coming from precisely this kind of privilege where her access and her voice is given more weight that many who do not maybe come from her class or who have been given the same platform. This is why I say it because I have heard and expereinced these ideas and insights but from people who come from much less privileged positions and I find it somewhat disingenuous that when certain people say things that people think they are somehow more valid.I have difficulty with the fact she does not give credit or mention at least some of where these ideas and tools come from.I find it a little intellectually dishonest personally and makes it seem like it is somehow her own unique knowledge and insight rather than coming from a collection of sources or her training. Also I am only too well aware of the effects of intergenerational trauma and the effects of suppressing and repressing emotions and think there is nothing more important than the need we have to express emotions and find ways to communicate feelings more effectively.I appreciate that she is one amoung many who are doing this...but I also think there are many many others who do not have her privilege and access and who are working tirelessly in diffuclt situations with few resources and who rarely get to be heard.I am a bit tired of predominant middle classness of this health and wellness industry and wish we could have more diverse voices especially when people talk from their own raw experiences which I always find the most powerful. ..also not sure what you meant by the "when the student is ready the teacher will appear...an addage I am well aware from...did you mean it in relation to me? because if you did it just further exemplifies the kind of presumptuousness and patronising that is all too common simply when people question certain things or privilege....its not good to make assumptions !!!!!! I am glad she resonates for you and you are ready to listen to her message :)