How To Never Run Out Of Things To Say In Conversation (Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy)

[@lk1286]

great conversation cares about 1. not linear but interesting 2. structure is not the most important thing 3. add your life and experience 4. stimulate your own mind

[@nichole8609]

This is one, if not the most difficult areas I have always had trouble with. And not just with men but anyone including family and people I haven't seen in a while.

[@lesorellastre2785]

Me too, but with practice it becomes easier...And I'm a real freaking introvert! : ) Silvia

[@lexiemaep7930]

Just genuinely listen to the other person and ask questions. Stop thinking of things to say

[@scarlettk2019]

I think once you meet the right person, conversation just flows. You never run into that, "weird silence." Not to mention you want to sit and just talk for hours

[@moonstruck562]

Scarlett K sometimes i enjoy the silence. we try so hard to always find intersting things to say we forget about just how important silent moments can be. jmo

[@scarlettk2019]

You're completely right :) There are times where it's nice just to enjoy each other.

[@daliwood12]

Scarlett K I don't think he is solely talking about a romantic partner

[@frenchfries2378]

Scarlett K I dont mind weird silences. Just means i get to fall asleep for a minute.

[@Sarah-fj8ju]

Scarlett K ya its true.and its not about perfect partner .there are many ppl who wl enhance the conversation and many ppl who will end it up with two lines.only 1 person cant make the whole conversation until the other person puts that much effort to move it forward. i believe that talkative ppl know how to create best conversation. they knw how to make ppl listen them

[@almabustinza643]

When you have a British accent, so no background music is necessary.

[@crystallizebowie4958]

Alma Bustinza 👌 😂

[@laurajoy1180]

Thus every movie of the 1900`s

[@paolashiadani1046]

Alma Bustinza cool*** hahaha

[@Helybely1]

Alma Bustinza nice

[@drizzy6855]

Alma Bustinza lol!

[@juls228]

Love the tennis vs. basketball analogy! Perfect real life example of conversations. As a speech therapist, I appreciate hearing this description! :)

[@sandhyavijapurkar3567]

When I'm around people I don't feel like talking.. when I'm alone I want someone talk to.😐

[@sebastianbarton2790]

sandhya vijapurkar I guess that’s what all people do:)

[@nofybn7794]

Same.

[@movingforward9555]

Matthew is like the older brother I always wanted. A guy who could give you good real advice without wanting anything romantic in return.

[@roseholub8199]

To be quite honest I just have a date tomorrow and I've been watching these videos for like an hour because I don't want to screw things up lmao

[@marsuliman6515]

sometimes even when you try to converse with them they won't have much reaction or don't talk much .

[@jocomola304]

Marwa Suliman then share this video

[@besknighter]

5:06 "And I don't care what you're doing in life, there's excitement to be found in every life if we know where to find it." I used to think this was the hugest BS ever but after paying attention to my day to day, I realized I've never been so wrong.

[@EdzDayuha]

This is why keeping a gratitude journal is essential, because you get to record every interesting thing that happened to you every single day. You are wise far beyond your years, Matthew!! Much love and respect to you ❤️❤️❤️

[@mariannap4181]

This is such a difficult subject for me bc i am naturally a shy person and it takes me a while to open up so this is one of my biggest fears bc everyone says dont pressure yourself the other person is going to help with the conversation but i always end up with people that dont and i just keep trying to find stupid things to say to avoid the silence and its my worst nightmare

[@kailahw7206]

Marianna P I'm also shy but also have dealt with social anxiety for years, but something I always found helpful is asking if they have pets, people love talking about their pets or what pets they want to have. Also just finding a common interest will help tons too.

[@IPoopOnYouEveryLastOneOfYou]

Randomly pull out and chew food. Then you don't have to talk, and there is definitely no awkward 'silence'. Enjoy your instant soulmate!

[@matfryns3300]

Great video. Learned so much from it. Here's a small recap: 1. Answer the question you would like to have been asked; dribbel with the question. IF it's a general one. Never looks like a smart choice to avoid an important question asked by your loved ones. 2. Edit your story. How annoying to answer plainly to a general question like how was your holiday? Prepare interesting snippets about your holiday in experience in advance to never miss out on sharing your favourite experiences with your friends and family! 3. Use your mind in a creative way. Get excited about your routines. What imaginary world are you creating? E.g. it's not sitting at a laptop when you are creating your next movie, clip, or book. You're creating your dream.

[@reneewiebe8857]

probably the best advice I have ever received. Lmao. Knowing how to carry conversations is a skill that will seriously make your life better.

[@Do2494]

Living in france taught me to talk about my weekends. It is so normal for french people to just talk about their weekend and ask each other about it! I think it is a litterary culture so you learn how to kind of write an autobiography on the go and make anything sound interesting

[@AfricaGS-hz6fl]

I don't mean to be weird, but I feel bizarrely attracted to his facial hair.

[@JewelWood16]

Africa GS a lot of us are bizarrely attracted to him lol

[@drizzy6855]

Africa GS same!

[@faithaymr]

Africa GS He reminds me of Harry Potter.

[@VictoriaHatzson]

Africa GS I'm always "bizarrely" attracted to every hot man's facial hair. Facial hair is hot in general

[@MsSmashone]

Its not bizarre he's fine as hell!

[@RadioChass]

Ugh, I needed this. Thank you so much!!

[@SavannahLSullivan]

Wow. So many little nuggets of wisdom in this video. I'm a bit of a writer, so I "edit" my life all the time in my head... but I'm also really bad at giving the boring answer to small talk questions. I think somewhere in my teenage years I realized people thought my narratives were boring and I felt they felt I talked too much. That left me feeling like nothing I had to say was really interesting when my insecurities were already at their peak. A part of confidence is learning when to speak and when not to speak... and speaking intentionally when you do speak. Those are things I've learned from that coming of age experience. 👍🏼

[@jameskile5113]

I really like this guys attitude about life, it’s very uplifting and contagious

[@AnyaAroha]

This makes so much sense! The number of times I've kicked myself later after making some of the most exciting things in my life sound like a snore-fest ... I need to take mental snapshots of everything that sparked a fire in me. Thanks for the vid Matthew 🔥

[@ConejiithaCyT]

Hola amigo! Mexican Viewer here. Happened to find your channels content truthful and real. It has really gotten me thinking about what's real and what isn't. Thanks a lot!

[@Swanky95472]

I read a new book every couple of weeks, and would love to find a guy that likes to read too!

[@skrrtskrrt9453]

I read books about powerpuff girls. Lets fuck.

[@IPoopOnYouEveryLastOneOfYou]

I just read your comment, let's make out profusely!

[@JS-xo6qj]

"Great conversation doesn't care about structure, it only cares about what is interesting." Thank you! Finaly someone who mentioned it. It's So annoying, sometimes boring to go streight on and on, like an interview or worse... at the police station. It's so full of life and emotions to let the conversation flow, drift, rise, sattle and rebuild in a natural way if it is interesting. It not even is important to have the same knowledge about the topoc because it don't get boring if one tells the other passionately about their interest. A good conversation is a gift and enriching. (If that's the word. I am german and obviosly english is not my native language at all. Let's laugh about it together and tell me my mostakes. Thx. ^#^)

[@bhagaskevin4231]

When u r trying to make a good convo and the person dont bother to ask back.... Yep, feels like an interrogation

[@sierrahultgren945]

I do a lot of these tips already because I'm a very socially aware person. But that tip about editing out parts to highlight what's interesting was brilliant and I'm definitely going to do that!

[@jadawilliams2657]

5:22 when he says "OK ! that's it for now" = so cute...

[@catche85]

Absolutely loved this video. My educational background and work is in communications and it's the thing that fascinates me most about dating. It's also the thing I find the most frustrating, because so many men (probably women, but I wouldn't know) don't know the basic skills of conversation. I've been trying some Hussey-esque techniques to set my standards of conversation. E.g. If after 3 of my questions they have given short or one word replies, I switch from "that's interesting, etc" to "okay" or "cool". That seems to shock people into their own one word responses. I also say "If you have time to chat more freely later on that would be great" which again, shocks them into realising their convo is crap. Ultimately though, I don't persist if they don't make effort!

[@LovetoLearn16]

You are such a blessing to my life, Matthew! I love how you continuously open my mind to new things I had never thought of before, it keeps me motivated to better myself everyday

[@Xoxosofiagirl]

Matthew your videos ARE my mental stimulation!!!

[@ericasambogna1528]

Rolled my eyes when I saw this reccomended to me, thinking it was just going to be another video all about "Ask questions about the other person, because people like to talk about themselves. Make sure they're open ended!" But I watched any way, and am wonderfully surprised. Finally some tips that are actually helpful

[@donutminion8881]

I have actually bookmarked this video specifically just because I need help on stimulating conversations. This guy is amazingly helpful.

[@KSMoore2010]

How do you recover from a conversation with someone you see often and have wanted to talk to for a while when you think your nerves made you display your personality poorly?!

[@SaraConstancePersonal]

I don't normally comment but dang, that was brilliant. Even the way you marketed yourself was so subtle and smart. Great content. I want more 👌🏻

[@SC-rt7bq]

I was supposed to study but bam, it just coincide with your video. Before I watched, I tought it's just human communication, what is it to learn? But I'm just really surprised by the things in your videos. I guess, I was being preconceived. I'm also really impressed by the book you read as a biologist. Here seems like a good channel, keep it up!

[@CarlaSophieMar]

"Great conversation isn't tennis, it's basketball." 🏀

[@irockalot3211]

here b/c matthew is a genius

[@_braune_]

Went on a date that went poorly today and now I've been binging Matthew's videos for hours... save me oh hot British savior.

[@marceleti3447]

This guy is a genius. He has help me so much

[@JennnSaidWhat]

Stimulate yourself before you can stimulate someone else is probably the best general take away!

[@thatanonymousidiotkaur8127]

Flirting video: "giant sloths Did you know those existed?"

[@michellewong7664]

This is such unique advice, Matthew. Point 2 is so true - going to work on this from now on.

[@avpthegreat]

Wow, I swear you give the most relevant advice ever. I’m glad I found this channel.

[@VictoriaHatzson]

How the hell is he always so on point and specific on everything he says and ends up being an actual life coach??

[@laineywhite2382]

Matthew, I adore you and it sounded a bit like something stepped on your manbits when you said the word "conversation" or perhaps you held back a sneeze. I still adore you and love this bit of advice. I had always used the tennis analogy but you're so right - the best conversations have these wonderful tangents and sense of someone flexible and who can keep pace. Love you dearly and Happy New Year! Thanks for all you do. XO.

[@DearSybersue]

Great topic Matthew! I have always said that diversity is the key to happiness! If you don't want to date someone boring don't BE boring. Do something different every day & when someone says "what's new?" you will always have a great answer. People will want to be around your contagious energy!

[@lexiemaep7930]

People dont know how to have a conversation because they dont really listen. Just genuinely listen and ask questions. Be genuinely curious about people. It's so easy. Stop thinking of what to say. Just listen and ask questions.

[@tnscrapchick]

Thanks, Matthew! Can you please, please do a video on how to get rid of guys that aren't the right ones in a classy way!

[@alicia696]

Thank you so much, Mathew! This video is super helpful because I always have a hard time trying to find the topic to talk about with people, and it is so easy to get into an awkward stage that neither of us has anything to talk about and I am even boringing myself. After this video, I will start to view my life in an exciting new way and collect the fun things that I experience. Thank you so much for helping me become a far more interesting person!

[@neillroberts4019]

great advice, I happened to take notes of my day day activities and build an interest with others who relates

[@rosegarcia2371]

You stimulate my mind constantly. Thank you Matt.

[@yesreneau]

omg I just started Sapiens

[@yvettemadelaine]

Editing!!!! SUCH great advice

[@sweetandmore2973]

Great new video. I think you don't need to overthink and just let the moment grab you and it's always good be open and maybe tell how you feel.

[@TheMimiXoXo]

Great. I love all your videos. Everything you say. Thank you!

[@belleg5355]

I can’t stop looking at your watch! I would like to buy one just like it

[@LaGalletaLibrosyModa]

I've also read Sapiens, The most excited book I've ever read.

[@Lin-ts9gi]

Thanks Matthew, I can always get some new perspective toward my life from your video :)

[@peradabanbaruindonesia1546]

Thank you so much matthew! I need this advice!

[@animefreakAD]

When Matt mentions his retreats, I sigh a little because I'm all the way in Aussie land😧

[@yezidu2521]

Sapiens. Loved it. Love you!!

[@TriniAlly8301]

Great video! And I also read Sapiens! Awesome awesome book!

[@harmoniousandtranquilhannah]

Thank you so much for this video! I can feel the Gemini energy - they love to be intellectually and socially stimulated!!

[@nothankyou3850]

By far this is my favorite video.

[@sprinkles21]

That was brilliant!😁 I just got a wonderful idea and putting your amazing technique into practice right now!😎 Thanks Matthew!😊

[@Azizajewelry]

100%. I'm currently reading Sapiens as well and its pretty awesome...think ill use some examples from your technique when i speak about what i am learning through reading this book

[@ikin3301]

Awesome video, definitely will try and make the changes you suggested. Thank you :)

[@Inesaaa]

I NEEED THAT THANKYOU I have a such a big struggle with that

[@valenzuelabonillasmariapau7542]

Dr. Shepherd!

[@roselikethewine]

I feel like I'm an interesting person and have a lot to talk about but I find that I sale myself short by consolidating a whole series of things into a few words because I'm afraid that if I say too much or go into detail I'll miss my audience and get dismissed before I mentioned the best parts. But I find that in consolidating I don't connect and the thing I fear which is not being heard happens anyways. Now I just have to learn how to speak with confidence.

[@godlyjuselabigco9732]

Examples are so direct so we get the point right away =D Perhaps I'm doing the same thing right now =D

[@CarlaJ1986]

Yes! I read Sapiens on holiday, it's an amazing book!! 👌

[@iknowdjreflecta]

So helpful! I'm always one to say something short and then revert the question to "So - going on any trips this year?" and have the guy speak for days so don't have to babble. Lol

[@ewadan4162]

Very helpful video, thank you! I am not confident in social situations because I always feel like I don’t have anything to say, but I know I do.. I guess I just haven’t been editing things out!.

[@kcvalkyrie6129]

I recently moved to Morioka, Japan and I came to Tokyo last May, I kinda freaked out when you mentioned Golden Gai hahahaha

[@reneepearl6650]

Thanks Matthew!

[@giulietta-1555]

i love to listen to your voice omg so calmy

[@ninjabreadgirl]

I fall asleep to his videos sometimes hahah

[@LALALALA-zb3bq]

happy New Year Matthew

[@TottiShares]

But what do I do if the conversation comes to an abrupt ending? [Me:] "You live in Manchester now?" - [He:] "yes I do"- "You enjoy it?" - "Yes" With some guys I feel like there is no connection (or he simply doesn't want to talk to me?) And then I'm at my wits' end and awkward silent enters the stage! What is the reason for that and is there something I can do to keep the conversation flowing? Or is it simply that you're not on the same wavelength or that he is not interested and (purposely?) impolite? Thanks for any suggestions :)

[@pixie89]

5:13 one of the best advices I've got

[@DouglasVishalBrook]

Spot on.

[@MAPSMAPS1234]

You know, this is so true. And, in a way, it kind of goes hand in hand with the ultimate practice everyone - from spiritual gurus to shrinks - say will make you happy: practicing gratitude. And, if you're going along, editing your experience from a fun angle as it unfolds, then you're already doing this. You're already seeking out the good. I've heard scientists say this is tough for us because our brains have something called a negativity bias. (Thus why we all catch a massive case of "what'd you do this weekend?" memory constipation unless we had a car wreck or base jumped off the Burj.) Sounds kinda sucky - but it's an evolutionary advantage because our brains were designed to keep us alive (ready to take on threats), not happy. So, that's our task - to make our brains happy. And there's no surprise behind why reviewing the good or exciting or fun stuff would make us more gleeful folk. It's really no different than affirmation or self hypnoses. Where your focus goes, reality grows. (Or however that phrase goes.) You paint your actuality with your attention filter. The nice thing about what you're suggesting here, Matt, is that - by exuding that good energy and focusing on your fantastic happenings in conversation - it both makes you enigmatic to potential partners and prospective friends, as well as just being jollier in general. (Which, is in itself a massively attractive trait.) Twofer! I love it.

[@tusenbensen334]

This is a very helpful video matt

[@PhatGirlSlim1]

Woop woop! Thank you Matthew! I loved this! :*

[@yeah.0.]

A great piece of advice indeed! But sometimes i wonder whether we need to keep our conversation flowing or just enjoy the comfortable silence instead.

[@hannahchristine8785]

Freakin love this video!!!! Awesome advice

[@Infantfaire]

Loved this video

[@Gerelisf]

Always helpful! ❤

[@valenzuelabonillasmariapau7542]

I love your videos, thank you, they have been very helpful :) x

[@lesliemacias8123]

Great this helped me realize how uninteresting my life is. Which is why I'm a terrible conversationalist lol

[@np2679]

Awesome advice!

[@sancurlz17ify]

can u plz make a video on difference between 'to take a break' and 'breaking up' and why does a guy need the feel that he wants to take a break and wants to talk ab it after meeting certain amount of time whether we want this or not!

[@gresanatomy]

I want to thank you so much for your videos and the time you invest in them. You always give me a new point of view, a new perspective, that is kinda all I need in this period. So thank you :) Sorry if my grammar sucks, I'm Italian. And btw you should wear the kimono more often. Look at those.. 'kimono shoulders'. ..Ok just kidding,better without it. Or any other clothing. Ahahah bye, keep up the good stuff!

[@cwong5643]

This is brilliant advice. Thank you Matthew.

[@karinae.schofield5605]

I always have watch your videos over and over again bc you're so cute that I get distracted and completely miss what you say lol...hahah...

[@youchannel5176]

🤣 like tennis! You are brilliant Matthew!!

[@mssummerrose1]

FINALLY... Jamerson is in the picture !!!!!!

[@7ajhubbell]

Thank you.

[@girlgal180]

"ConverSAtion" haha laughed at that but LOVED and took notes on this video and love all of your videoes over all

[@CherylLoke]

I have this one friend that I just can't keep a flowing conversation with but I know it's not me because I can keep a conversation with everyone else but her

[@tristanedmunds5934]

Golden advice 👐