How To Overcome Fear Of Confrontation

[@ButerWarrior44]

I’m afraid of confrontation because I don’t want to embarrass myself by showing that I’m afraid of confrontation. Infinite loop.

[@silvestrasbumblauskas7709]

Bro, thats me also! Fuck this loop

[@BLOKI5]

Bingo

[@Alphacentauri819]

If you think others can’t tell…that’s merely deluding yourself. It’s like the children that cover their eyes and think you can’t see them. When you avoid engaging in conflict resolution, you impact others. No way around it. Not speaking up, is self abandonment. Self abandonment is you not having your own back, which further perpetuates self esteem issues. Once you face the fear, gain self confidence, know that conflict won’t kill you…and actually the process of resolving conflict is empowering and connecting.

[@daniel3735l]

That's it

[@banderas2000]

It's because the energy has been suppressed for a long time so when you begin to speak up your throat will have a lump you may speak quietly or shaky. But if you continue on it will even out eventually and you can speak with power it's pretty cool.

[@rik-keymusic160]

What i understand is that this fear comes from an event in our childhood, like most of the crap we have to deal with in adult life... If you had a healthy environment in which standing up for what you believed in as a child was good and not punished, i don't think you struggle that much. If you grew up in an environment who hurt you if you stood up it's another story. I noticed PTSD like symptoms in confrontation. It's like your rational thinking is gone out of the door and you freeze up. You can't think rational and shoot in emotion or completely freeze up. The root cause is probably childhood trauma an so if we know that, we can look for tools that help us to get over these issues.

[@Honey-vq9dl]

Yeah this me 💔 What tools to use to help me ?

[@rik-keymusic160]

@@Honey-vq9dl Meditation is a good practice but it takes time to have benefits from it and you need to do this everyday. If you don’t believe in this just look up the scientific studies that are done around this topic. What really helped me A LOT is drinking Ayahuasca. But you should do this with experienced people who you really can trust!! This is some very heavy medicine that’s being used for thousands of years... quite advanced technology but the science is now catching up with that. Psychedelics in general can do wonders but you got to know what your doing! This helped me so much more then any other therapy ive participated in! But if you still live with some of your abusers, you should take in mind that these substances can really change you ! You might have to change your environment first before participating in such dramatic forms of therapy...

[@p1zzaman]

I feel the same way. Growing up and speaking my mind or go against the wishes of someone has resulted in a lot of yelling and negative reactions. So now, anytime I speak to this person, I get irrational anxiety and fear.

[@baboom1235]

This, although I dont know how to get it better

[@nulledp8249]

I have this issue i was always getting beat up as a child how i can fix this?

[@pancrase9048]

The fear is not necessarily the confrontion itself, it could last for a few seconds to a few minutes. The problem is the aftermath of that confrontation, it could esaclate into something worse; you create enemies that you didn't expect or realize and you develop this anxiety that you lost the argument or fight. They start doing or saying things behind your back. I hate confrontation because I constant get tounge tied and don't know what to say coming off like an idiot, I get depressed from embarrassment.

[@jon_ovo3653]

I feel you bro

[@djlacruz7811]

💯

[@carlosfurtado1164]

I'm exactly like this. Not sure what your situation is but in my case, it was due to living in fear of bullying by parents and older siblings and even getting punished for defending myself

[@margaretdoliet1630]

Same situation.

[@aaroncurtis2089]

@@carlosfurtado1164 Same thing happened to me with parents and older siblings. And whenever I tried to defend myself, I was beaten back down -- told what I was saying had no merit. As I grew older, I ended up avoiding the family entirely, and largely keep them at arm's length to this day. Probably not the healthiest solution, but some people aren't willing to accept the thoughts and feelings of others. No confrontation is going to change that, even if you present your side clearly.

[@fortnitemane0919]

I’m getting better at this everyday it all about taking the smaller battles and not always being kind ❤

[@daniel3735l]

What are you doing to overcome it?

[@mathiasfantoni2458]

Thanks you so much, sir. It really helped me to realise that it is not my responsibility how people choose to feel if I tell them something. I don't intent to make them feel anything, I just want to be honest with them about what I think, and how mine and their beliefs differ. It's honestly very neutral. And if they choose to feel offended, I did not offend them. They chose to feel offended. So my fear of "offending them" is really an invalid fear, because I'm not offending anyone. I cannot be not in charge of how they choose to feel. I should say what's on my mind…

[@principlebasedliving3294]

Very well said. Glad you found the information helpful!

[@abhishekbarla3262]

This comes to me at a time of personal crisis. Thank you for creating this, its profoundly insightful and helped my confidence.

[@gybx4094]

Awesome. I worked in engineering for 44 years and much of that was supervision. My entire job was confrontational in many respects. Yet outside of work, I'm terrified of confrontation. My engineering mind naturally jumps to the worst case scenario. Now I'm understanding it. This helps tremendously. Thanks.

[@mikelisteral7863]

1- confrontation doesnt exist outside of the mind 2- its not something you can be good or bad at 3- good and bad also doesnt exist outside the mind 4- everything is enjoyable when you have no mind

[@eileenmcdonnell1821]

I can relate to this been brainwashed as a child parents fighting

[@JesusSavesSde]

I’m afraid of confrontation because I fear what’ll happen if I get in trouble

[@soliyanatsehaye1391]

Its better to fight it out with a person instead of just keeping quite, because one day the bomb will eventually explode.

[@adonramlal-brooks4134]

And it’s even worse when you let things build up

[@elpolloesfuego]

@@soliyanatsehaye1391 honestly if we are afraid of getting in trouble with someone because they rooted that fear in us, then maybe it’s not so bad to one day give them a taste of their pen medicine

[@banderas2000]

I feel you. I learned from the book a new earth. When you are in a confrontation. Stick to facts. When you speak opinions is when the ego gets involved. Your an idiot is not a fact. " My order is wrong sir or ma'am" . Is a fact. There's nothing wrong with that. Speaking up. Intent also plays a part.

[@Brouwer-]

Thank you so much sir. You have given me the answer I have been looking for. I have been full of resentment, fear, anxiety and stress, just because I have decided to remain silent in order to avoid confrontation. I think it is high time I start telling some people how I really feel and to stand up for myself. Really, thank you!

[@principlebasedliving3294]

You are welcome! I am glad you found the information helpful! Best wishes!

[@angham3829]

Hallelujah 🎶 All Glory to God ♥️

[@СергијеСимић]

I've watched 5-6 videos on this topic, and this is the best one for me. I got the answers I didn't get in the most watched videos about the fear of confrontation. I need to watch this video again to take notes, there are several a-ha moments for me. I didn't have in mind the fear of not getting what I want, and the fear of making other people angry or upset. I think these are the biggest ones for me. Great video, huge value. Thank you for sharing this.

[@principlebasedliving3294]

So glad you enjoyed it and found the information helpful!

[@RegIsCoolYT]

Understand that the reason you want to confront a situation is because you are not happy. If you get in trouble for saying how you feel, you wont be happy then, but youre not happy now. At least in this new situation you've gotten your point across so there's room for new dialog instead of living in a "death loop" repeating the same patterns and building resentment

[@RegIsCoolYT]

Sometimes you have to provide the consequences that will result in a persons betterment, being this is someone you want better for.. whether you chose this person to be in your life or you are forced to deal with them, a better, happier situation in the goal

[@summero-my5in]

Thank you for this perspective!

[@markblaze10]

I would guess my fear comes from multiple outcomes, but the underpinning fear is that of not being liked. I just expressed some frustration over some over-time compensation I am owed with a lady in pay-roll. I spent the next two hours unable to function as I was overcome with terror that I have just upset this lady who is not actually at fault. A momentary burst of confident frustration turned into my worst panic attack of the week. Later on she responded, in what I read as an upset tone. I responded back to apologize for being rude. She told me she didn't think I was rude, she never thought that the frustration was directed at her, and she agrees that it is an obviously frustrating situation. Now I feel very foolish for spending hours paralyzed with fear over a situation that turned out to be entirely in my own stupid head.

[@principlebasedliving3294]

It’s crazy how powerful our beliefs are whether rational or irrational and that is why but is important to be able to question our beliefs to insure that they are true. You are moving in the right direction because you are aware of your thoughts and responses. Keep being patient with yourself and as you do so, your responses will begin to change. A great book that you might enjoy is Loving What Is by Byron Katie. Best wishes and thanks for sharing

[@markblaze10]

@@principlebasedliving3294 Thank you for the advice and the book recommendation. I will be sure to check it out, cheers.

[@MarcDufresneosorusrex]

@@principlebasedliving3294 me too; i wasn't "scared" but i had many recurring thoughts about "what if not everyone likes me" (would i get in trouble then?, not fear but certainly attributed to social acceptance etc..

[@angham3829]

Forgive.♥️ Faith walk.🎶🥾🎶🥾

[@JHilariosaH1]

As a child, and even now, I have always feared my dad. He was and still is emotionally neglectful. Every time there’s a setback, he criticize me. No wonder I can’t speak my mind.

[@denisseypieces]

Same here. I grew up with hypercritical parents. So response from other people is something I am very guarded about and try to avoid being responsible for anyone´s response.

[@Ysiris]

I just wrote an entire essay to my dad trying to explain why I can’t ever speak to him. Straight after I looked up fear of confrontation and it makes sense. From my childhood I’ve just developed a sense of keeping myself to myself because an underlying sense of I still don’t know..

[@omaribelmosa6141]

This was clearly communicated and much needed. I see now that validation from others was driving the fear of confrontation. My affirmation: I am speaking my mind freely and effortlessly for the greater benefit of all

[@mikelisteral7863]

within the world of belief other minds become a threat within reality there is no belief

[@bergsg2348]

This is a good one. I like how you explained that everyone is responsible for their own emotion.

[@terrencemilton5088]

Sometimes it's best to have the conversation directly.

[@cindyski4413]

I guess it stems from when I was a child. A person would raise their voice at me and I would feel destroyed inside. I just couldn’t take it. Adults around would not think before they would yell at me for dealing with me. Instead of asking me what’s wrong with me or anything about what I may be going through, they would lash out. Not knowing that I was slow or I just couldn’t understand something. I was a clueless and ignorant kid. I couldn’t think properly. My confidence since then has been destroyed. I’m 49 and can’t overcome this still.

[@principlebasedliving3294]

Thanks for your comment. The first step, which you have accomplished, is awareness. Once we know what the problem is, we can then figure out how to fix it. Identifying your false beliefs about yourself and others and being willing to let go of those false beliefs and then replace them with true/correct beliefs will help you move forward

[@cindyski4413]

@@principlebasedliving3294 I appreciate your message.

[@banderas2000]

I really like the last few parts of this video. Thanks. I been getting way better on being ok with confrontation. Sticking to facts not letting my emotions taking over 💪🏾

[@sheepish96]

Thank you so much sir, you've given me so much clarity! My father was abusive and whenever I tried to stand up for myself he would always hit or threaten me. These culminated in my constant fear of confrontation in regular life. Thank you so much.

[@principlebasedliving3294]

@@sheepish96 so glad you found the information helpful

[@dieuquynh2271]

I have been not confrontational recently and found It’s detrimental to the relationship and myself. It holds people and energy back and create a stagnant environment. So seeking for mental health advices and watch a few quality video likes this improve the awareness of myself and gradually bring the control back to me. This can make a big difference to one’s life if they listen attentively. from someone with fear of conflicts and confrontation without realizing it (sooner)

[@principlebasedliving3294]

@@dieuquynh2271 thank you for your comments!

[@Astral_Dusk]

It's good to learn because too much bottled up from fear turns people into a monster, druken in rage and maybe actually drunk during the rage too. I remember struggling between not saying anything or hitting max volume but it takes a lot of practice getting into that healthy medium and balance. Respectfully defending boundaries of what you don't tolerate from people, perhaps anyone (bullying, ad hominin attacks, etc), may trigger others but their emotional "control" over their reaction (especially if you're being reasonable and respectful, not actually attacking them) is still their own. The individual ownership of emotions is powerful to really carve out in perspective, seeing more clarity of consequences of our actions but also the freedom to assert ourselves. "We're creating the fear, it's not the confrontation creating the fear." - absolutely!

[@jocelynpowell6223]

Tremendous exposition on this subject. Easy to understand and well delivered.

[@principlebasedliving3294]

@@jocelynpowell6223 thank you!

[@MarcDufresneosorusrex]

the how you ascribe meaning to the consequences of confrontation was a real eye opener; it's easy to visual that people ascribe positive meaning to " in life in general" but it's not obvious when confrontation looks us in the eye.

[@FleurOlivia]

Thank you, I listened and wrote down and applied it to a current situation I am facing. This really guided me into the right direction and way of thinking. Thank you for being so helpful.

[@MatsVederhus]

This is one of the most profound videos I’ve ever seen. Thank you sir!

[@mikelisteral7863]

dont be a pussy haha

[@Wyrimo1]

So grateful for this video. My “aha” moment was recognising that am only in charge of my feelings, I was more afraid of their reaction (anger), which is their problem not mine to carry. Thank you

[@morphine6540]

It’s strange. I am confident in myself and I consider having a healthy ego (don’t need to prove myself). I’ve been practicing muay-thai for years now (mostly by myself) and have developed through a lot of repetition the skills of very deadly strikes (elbows, uppercuts, etc.) However, when there is a confrontation, It’s like some inner fear makes me forget all of this, and I feel less powerful than usual. This, of course, is also a benefit, as I don’t jump irrationally into bad decisions. However, I think the next time someone acts like a fool, I might teach him a lesson. Even If I know that violence is not the answer.. I’m having enough of losing these inner battles.

[@margaretdoliet1630]

Same here 😞I know kickboxing but something always holds me back then I freeze up .

[@jocelynpowell6223]

Thank you for taking confusion out of confrontation. Well thoughout and heart delivered. Thank you for the compassion. You have helped me tremendously.

[@leeannehart2466]

I never thought that avoiding confrontation, can break down a relationship. I think it started in my marriage. My ex was very abusive, so I just used to switch off. I would just give in to what he wanted. I eventually left him. I am now in a relationship and I am doing tge same thing. I know that I want to be liked by everyone but I did not care whether my ex did or not. When there is conflict with my partner, I literally switch off, I cannot think. I have this blank look on my face. I need to change this. 😩

[@Go4Yourz]

Thank you kindly. I needed to see this video and hear this message. It is true that I am in control of another’s feels. All I can control is my intent and my honest communication. An Aha moment was when you said people getting upset is the persons choice based on where they are in their life. Eye opening. Thank you again.

[@huzaifamoiyadi1927]

I am afraid of confrontation due to fear of losing and fear of embarassment

[@Human1136]

Same

[@daveloncarr1698]

Thank u for this teaching! The point about it not being confrontation but what I believe or connect with it really helped me!

[@dylzthedizzygamer6853]

I have a fear of confrontation because I feel like, the person who I confront will hurt me severely. The fear has gotten worse to the point where I feel that person will want to shoot me or they’ll find out where I live and try to hurt my family… it’s gotten so bad that I just stay inside. It’s consumed my life that I avoid confrontation at all costs

[@dguinn2010]

You’ll gain more respect by confronting the situation heads up. If a person knows that you’ll defend yourself. Most but not all will tend to leave you alone. But you have to take a chance. Anything in life worth having you must go thru confrontation. But make sure it isn’t deadly. Breathe, think and speak slowly about your discomfort.

[@principlebasedliving3294]

@@dguinn2010 well said!

[@itsbadforya1]

My fear is that if I fight back, I’ll get sued for assault and battery charges, pay $2000 and spend 4 months in jail. Society’s laws have made it harder to defend yourself.

[@cesarandres1793]

I have that same thought. I do my best to use my words but I always want to fight.

[@Alphacentauri819]

I’d say that maybe you don’t get it…if your narrative is “fight back”. It’s not a win/lose dynamic. Thinking that way only increases ego posturing and conflict increasing behaviors. The fact that you feel you need to “defend yourself” says a lot. It’s like you’re tap dancing on the iceberg…when the real issues are way deeper. Sounds like you have core wounds, limiting beliefs and cognitive distortions that color your lens in seeing the world this way. It can be changed…but it takes a great deal of introspection and metacognition, bravery and calling out false narratives. The meaning we give things is what creates the suffering, not the situation itself…That was the whole POINT of this video. Your fear sounds more like you fear you won’t be heard, understood, and that you’ll then be unable to control yourself (due to lack of emotional regulation skills). It’s more fear of vulnerability and feeling…and rejection…that seem to potentially this deep core issues

[@majormagoo72]

Thank you for this video. It explained fear of conflict for me in a way that my Veterans Therapy/EMDR therapy/Psychologist didn’t. It drilled down to the roots and while following along I applies it to my Service and Childhood trauma and definitely had some Aha moments. I’ll watch this one over again and am definitely following for more. Thanks again. ✌🏻

[@IsaacWstawac]

This is incredibly silly if I am critical of it for even a second unfortunately, but I do appreciate the focus on detachment from certain ways of viewing things. The world absolutely has a way of creating our perception of it, then feeding back into itself. It would be more appropriate then to say that we have the potential to find spaces where certain truths exist, where understanding can be found, and then used to give us a way of coping with that environment. Often times anger and conflict is the result of the natural human emotion of, ironically, empathy. We want to believe that a person wouldn't have the audacity to treat us poorly when we are so good to them, when we have so much to offer with our thoughtfully crafted perspective and history. Everyone's life is unique, so we must be obligated somehow to share what we have learned with one another. The world unfortunately has a way of pitting us against each other so that becomes impossible. The people who "know" something ironically do not care enough to speak in each other's presence, as neither of them has asked the other to speak, and they are both satisfied with the truths they have uncovered. People that know very little cannot help but get to shouting in each other's faces.

[@myriamabidi2798]

I tend to avoid confrontation because of the fear of not being heard /acknowledged. I don’t want to spend energy explaining myself and then all of it being flushed down the drain. Now I know for a fact that it may be the result of my relationship with my dad ,always shutting me down when I tried to explain myself even in situations where I didn’t do anything wrong ,always being shushed , yelled at and cursed at. Now I realize how much it affected me and still affects me in my daily life ,my interactions ,and relationships. I don’t know what I should do ,maybe go to therapy ? I’m lost

[@AteCarmelita]

Same here 😢

[@glinary]

This video is literally life-changing. Thank you so so much..

[@principlebasedliving3294]

Glad you found it helpful!

[@angham3829]

Grateful 👍 Thankful👍 To God be the Glory ♥️

[@boomboomboom9297]

I confronted the guy who was smoking right beside me. Now I am hospitalized.

[@SzukamSzukam]

Great material! I love this way of putingh things in simple words! I feel deep understanding of what confrontation is. Thank You

[@colleenvanrooyen4878]

Brilliant - thank you for sharing this valuable information :D

[@pinkgirl1x]

I actually was worried about the meeting with my manager as Iam planning to apply another role but yet listening to you made more sense and now I know I am confronting with her because I respect and care but also this is to free myself from what ifs and I should not be afraid of how she will react or what happens next as you said I hve no control over it. How she reacts to what I say is söt that is fully in her control and I cn never ever change that

[@principlebasedliving3294]

pelin simone right on and best wishes for you meeting!

[@shanicesmith2008]

I am happy I found this video it has helped me tremendously… I believe my inner person struggles with confrontation but now understand the cause I think I’m better able to maneuver this.

[@AskLaura2023]

Thank you for this video… it was really helpful to me❤️

[@boopboop7959]

This is great!

[@rosendoperez6677]

My voice trembles and I choke even tho I’m not physically scared of somebody but just don’t have confidence to speak up for myself

[@donkeykong1234]

this is fantastic, thank you.

[@Spider_7_7]

Great video! Thanks!!!! 🙌🏻 👏

[@DavidLane-c4n]

I was kind and sweet my whole life. It didn't work. I am kind to people who are kind to me. And sour to people who want to walk over me.

[@siphokazin.7552]

I'm afraid of confrontation because i dont want to lose the relationship with the friend or family member so sometime even if they do something i dont like like take my money without my permission, i may let it go on for a long time. And when i finally do ask, I'll ask indirectly like, mmh I dont know if I misplace my money i think i might be misplacing my money... I let them decide to come forth with the information.

[@mangaroo8583]

Me too! I have a friend who makes fun of my habits and occasionally my appearance. Whenever she does, I try to be cool and laugh it off like she does but I often feel really hurt. Normally I would look over this, but she already did so many other things and I've really had enough. Stealing my friends, isolating me, saying rude and insulting words TO MY FACE. I want to cut her off completely but at the same time I worry about losing her and creating a bad image of myself in her eyes. It terrifies me to be seen as "irritating" or "problematic and sensitive". I'm truly lost on how tto act and what to say.

[@patrickpark9514]

Very much enjoyed this video. I hope you are still posting videos such as this. This was the most informative video on the subject that I have seen. I also wanted to let you know there is a woman who copied this video, I believe word for word, named Zeina and is promoting it on her KZbin channel. Shame on her for that. I very much enjoyed your expertise on this subject.

[@apsingh420aps]

Very useful video ,thanx

[@oktobersown82]

I like this, im a restaurant manager who has a lot of issues in store now due to this issue i have. I can confront people who can handle it and struggle with the other🤔

[@dantewright5662]

I feel like a lot of people don’t like confrontation is because of the fear of rejection, or they think every time that they will get into a confrontation, it’s going to turn physical to so many ppl that it’s frightening to them. Change your view on confrontation set up healthy habits for yourself going into confronting someone

[@Fluttershys_bong]

I’m looking at this after literally just having to call out of work because I offered to take on another employee’s shift who got fired after doing two no call no shows(I was the victim yesterday, 6 hour shift turned to 9 hour shift). I was so angry and missed an appointment with a tattoo artist and obviously non refundable, but I apologized and everything. And even took on the shift for the next day!! But I managed to sneak in a reschedule for today and said I couldn’t, and got the entire “you never want to come in.” I was polite and it went really well, my boss is a good lady, but it’s taken me twenty minutes to even somewhat calm down. Even an anxiety attack and pacing around my house. It sucks!!!

[@principlebasedliving3294]

@@Fluttershys_bong awareness is the first step! So good job with that!

[@zion367]

This was such an amazing video. Thank you.

[@LamyailmaLamyailma]

Beautiful, I like it.

[@basmalamokhtar7467]

السلام عليكم peace be upon you thank you the video was useful

[@VarunPrasadoneplusone]

A+ Content. Subbed. Keep on making these videos sir

[@victorrubennavarrocortes739]

Thank you, very valuable.

[@christinam.3410]

I am terrified of know it all parents who treat me like an employee. I'm a private tutor and sometimes I come across disrespectful parents. One in particular always forgets to pay my lessons and I have to remind him all the time. Tonight he confronted ME because his kid forgot to come to class so according to him I was supposed to be immediately available for an online lesson to get half the lesson done. Clients know that if they miss a lesson, it will be paid just the same. He wrote me telling me he expects me to be available for a videolesson if it happens again. As soon as he wrote me I felt my heart sink, I got sweaty and got anxiety. And angry. He had an attitude I really didn't like but at the same time my inner people pleaser immediately kicked in. I did answer that if I could have done a videolesson I would have done it and that I hope his daughter won't forget it again. But I did find an excuse instead of telling him how he doesn't respect my work and my time and that I can simply decide NOT to be available and get a videolesson ready in a hurry. I feel I'm the one who is wrong

[@principlebasedliving3294]

Good job recognizing your part of this dynamic! I think it is common for good/kind people to allow others to take advantage of them. Just continue to be aware of what you can and can’t control. You are not responsible for this parent being mad, it is a choice he is making because that kind of behavior has worked for him in the past. Create your boundaries based on what you want and what you are comfortable with and allow the parent how they want to feel and respond to your boundary. If the parent does not respect your boundary, it’s probably not a parent that you want to work with anyway! I’d be interested to know how it turns out ;-). Thanks for sharing!

[@Declaringthendfromthebeginning]

Fear is a spirit - Travis Smith

[@joshboydguitar]

massive aha moments for me thanks so much for the advice

[@principlebasedliving3294]

I am glad that you found the information helpful! Thanks for commenting!

[@nathanphillipsshine2056]

Great advise! Thanks!

[@principlebasedliving3294]

Nathan Phillips Shine you are welcome! Glad you found it helpful!

[@arrowfar920]

Love this.

[@MLDawn]

I did have my aha moment! Thanks a lot

[@riz5590]

Watched a few vids and read articles on this subject but this vid really resonated with me. Well summarised and presented. Thanks.

[@jordash9992]

Ive been disrespected so many times that it makes me mad. I am a empathatic person who cant stand bullies, users, liars, deciecers, manipulators, ect. I want to bring then all justice but i cant! I m stuck in this fear base mind set where i sometimes freeze up when confronted in real confrontation. So i always play it off as this relax chill dude too avoid conflict. I hate it. I hate myself for never stepping up for myself. or even others, cause I cant stand seeing others being raken advantage or bullied either! Its like my brain dont work and automatically goes into flight mode when conflicts arises. I dont know where this started or if its genetics or both. But i really want to learn how to master this. I feel like if i did i could not only help myself and atand up to these bullied but i could stand up to these bullied for other people too! I see assholes all the time especially driving there are alot of a hole drivers who cut people off, weave in and out of traffic, tailgate, drive aggressively, ect. And i feel like these people wont stop until they get a taste of their own medicine. The world needs more people to stand up to these bullies so we can get rid of this behavior. Not enough people to stand up or else we would have a more peaceful and antifree bully world imo

[@principlebasedliving3294]

Thank you for your comment! You are exactly right! If we could all learn how respect ourselves and others and learn how to use “boundaries” effectively, much of the bullying would stop because the bullies would stop getting the payoff for being a bully!

[@SKF358]

My only concern is having the individual physically attack. Is the issue worth my physical injury?

[@danamartha5220]

Im scared of any kind of confrontation, even when it comes to dealing with kids. A few days ago some kids put a pop packet behind me as a prank, i didnt notice what they did and when it popped i got scared. Then they just walked away and all i could do was just stare at them. I was mad but i didnt say anything because i didnt want to start an issue with their parents or be seen as the immature adult..even if somwones wronged me, i take it because i dont want to start arguments, fights or be the center of attention among a crowd. I say yes to everything because i dont want to be left out or be known as the annoying person who doesnt help out..i just want to blend with others and have people accept me so i just deal with it all and its so draining..

[@principlebasedliving3294]

I get it! However all your thoughts and feelings are based on false beliefs. There are several other videos on this channel that address some of the thoughts and beliefs that you expressed

[@AteCarmelita]

I get so anxious just over a minor disagreements. Or speaking up how I feel when I’m a minority in the matter. I almost get into a full blown panic attack. Even with arguing with strangers online. Why???

[@BLOKI5]

My two fears of confrontation.. 1. My mouth shakes and my face when I argue and I’m afraid they’ll pick up on it and go in on it AND 2. I’m afraid of being overpowered either voice wise or from another man physically

[@principlebasedliving3294]

Thanks for watching and thanks for your comments. Regarding your two fears, 1. I think that is a pretty common response for many people. If you have watched any of my other videos on triggers, emotions and the principle of control, then you know that our responses to things and events that occur in our lives are mostly learned/conditioned behaviors which means that we can “unlearn” them and replace them with new behaviors of our choosing. The first step is awareness of what it is we are choosing and accepting accountability for our thoughts, emotions and behaviors. (Which you have done :-). ). This empowers us and frees us up to make changes. The second step is practice. The more we practice any thought pattern or behavior the more proficient we become. Regarding your second fear, it is a possibility that the other person could overpower you verbally or physically but not likely, depending on the environment where the confrontation is taking place, and the more comfortable you become in dealing with confrontation, the less likely it will happen!

[@BLOKI5]

@@principlebasedliving3294 Thank you for replying I appreciate that so much 🙏🏽

[@Honey-vq9dl]

And who to change my thoughts and who i think ,and how i responsed to things properly ?... if it's a problem that got developed with me since i was i child I need help💔

[@happysolo9523]

I was afraid because I had false belief about people and things

[@weinstocksart6155]

Don't really think people choose to get angry most of the time. I feel like it just kind of happens as a response to something unsetting.

[@principlebasedliving3294]

Thanks for your comment! If you are really interested in exploring this further, I would recommend watching some of the other videos on my channel that talk about choice, control and emotions! Best wishes!

[@Werewolf0216]

At work I'm afraid of rocking the boat because if it upsets my manager, I don't want to be forced to compromise my principles.

[@kolleivory2422]

I am afraid of confrontation because i fear i will loose control and embarrass myself so that people can see through the cracks of my armour.

[@Rafa-707]

I avoid confrontation because I’m scared to hurt someone physically. How can I overcome this?

[@mikelisteral7863]

yell louder. swing less

[@leestringer]

Is it true that people can control their emotions? I'm not sure it is. You can control your actions, but a visceral feeling seems to come from nowhere.

[@jamalhamdan9170]

A very useful and effective speech

[@EdwardB88]

Thank you !

[@terrencemilton5088]

These people..the ones that fear confrontation are the most dangerous. Because they are sneaky. They the type to sceme on you. Understand.

[@leaperm3433]

I’ve literally become the most confrontational person.

[@urbancommute5239]

Where's the rest of this content?

[@drty1577]

I am not afraid I kind of dont know 🤔

[@maziimonet]

I just watched another video on this and the lady was saying the same thing word for word

[@samuelnundwe6033]

I'm not responsible for how you feel.

[@ludvigborga3676]

I avoid confrontation because I'm afraid I'll get physical and get sued. As a kid I went to strict Catholic schools with nuns and my parents were strict. If you spoke up, you got the belt or a ruler. Loose loose.

[@odar9729]

What if I lie bc I know my partner would yell at me furiously ?

[@kuldeepdinkar4918]

I m afraid of human being

[@kashishkandhari2213]

❤

[@joaooliveira-kk9hl]

MUCH PEOPLE WHERE KILLED BECAUSE THEU CONFRONT THEN WHERE IS THE GAIN OF CONFRONT OTHER THEN PAIN LOSE FRIENDS LOSE PEACE AND BE KILLED??

[@Medietos]

Several of the claims in the video are only correct and applicable in normal, hones, non.dangerous situations, which is, of course, good for those withing the norm and human decency, morals and law. I should very much welcome the same video made on the premises of fears being justified, where calmness and self-acceptance etc is not the problem, when they are powerful. many against one, have the law and society on their side as it seems, by the power of their "authority", employment positions and maybe even by acceptance of gob´vernment, even in a not typically corrupt country at all. When they are mistreating to the extent of it really being the effect of torturing and slowly stressing/harming one to death. And when protesting might get one really killed or locked in , even drugged and taken away all credibility , untrue claims of insanity etc. Do you know someone who makes videos on real difficulties, confrontations of one victim stress-sick, diseased, weak disabled with neuropsychiatric disability and childhood trauma as well, where they have weakened even much much more, and made one much more unable to manage or even cope with everyday "life" ,caused more disability and life-dangerous illness+ handicap, taken away the fundamental deep faith in life and the goodness and fairness of our species , letting one fight alone without armour , without sleep, support, ability to think clearly due to Aspergers and severe decades bad insomnia /sleep deprivation , and struggle and work endlessly for decades with professionals that take turns to deplete, deceive, abuse,tire one out, lie, withhold help while pretending it is coming, etc, not caring although they are put to support, protect and forward one inngetting one's basic needs met! I hope this is understandable and - Please reply. I want my life and the damages to build vitality and health up as much as possible, even if they have taken almost everything + 40 best years with opportunitíes that never can come back.

[@helenasavels4509]

I’m not afraid of confrontation, it just brings me in a negative state of mind. It sucks out all the energy i have. I’m learning to stand up for myself but it’s draining. to avoid conflict is easier bc most people only see things from their perspective, if u convince them otherwise you’ll still have gained an enemy so why bother with confronting them?

[@jeffjanes5521]

Jeff

[@SuperRadAttack]

Jeff

[@ruthellwethbrook5166]

Jeff

[@marianaguimaraes7357]

Jeff

[@coldplayer9403]

Jeff

[@breezy5106]

Jeff

[@Medietos]

I wonder what world you have lived in, if your belief is that people don't harm one for not liking one. They do, and worse, they pretend not to, while secretly ganging up and spinning a vicious net . Machiavellian. And don't give you a chance to learn about and maybe correct some flaws from disability, disease, social inexperience and lack of calm to use ones capacities well, - even though of course the personal assistance is needed in order to GET calm enough by getting a functíoning everyday life with support and enough safety to be calm , sleep etc.

[@siminaiov3883]

An absolute bla bla… it’ s all in your head kind of explanation. Useless.

[@principlebasedliving3294]

Hi Simina lov, thanks for your comments. You are absolutely correct that the video is all bla bla, it is me talking the entire video, I’m wondering if you watched the entire video? And you are absolutely right that it is all in your head. The cool thing about that is, if it is in my head, then I can control or change it! My question for you is, if it isn’t in our head, where is it?

[@t.v.4551]

This talk seems very convoluted and gave me only a headache!