How To Overcome Fear of Rejection And Allow Love Into Your Life- Dating and Relationship Advice

[@YouTubeUzername]

Your analogies make things so clear and simple! Excellent advice, as usual!

[@SusanWinter]

thank you!!!

[@AbiBrown-q9k]

Susan is the type of person I wished she was my personal friend or family member

[@SusanWinter]

@@AbiBrown-q9k so sweet. Thank you. 🙏🏻

[@nickus51]

Honesly, I am less afraid of rejection itself and more afraid of having my trust betrayed and my vulnerabilities used against me again. I am afraid of being sucked into another narcissistic relationship only to be cold heartedly discarded.

[@SusanWinter]

I completely understand, but Nick, think it through. Don't you think you've got enough red flags established in your mind that you would notice a narcissist or an unhealthy relationship? Those of us who've experienced trauma, always I have a heightened security for that. But you cannot even have the opportunity to get involved with somebody if you don't at least try the exploration. If you ever feel like you want to get back out there, I suggest that you simply put it in your mind that you will explore the possibility of discovering who the person is. You can hold your emotions back and just observe and see if you like them and they are healthy.

[@nickus51]

@@SusanWinter Thank you for the message! That's exactly another problem I have. I became hypervigilant, which is quite normal for us trauma survivors. However I am afraid I became a bit too observant of red flags. I notice a lot of toxicity all around. I've been learning about attachments, narcissistic personality, toxic behaviours, going to therapy for almost 1,5 years now. Yet I still find it hard to fully relax around others, let alone trust. Even in dance classes I am taking, where in a few months I got to know a few people.

[@npkrn6764]

​@nickus51 It is difficult. I feel the same. I suggest also looking at some videos or books specific to becoming resilient to rejection - not from strictly dating coach perspectives, but from others. There are some people out there that even teach to learn to seek out and WELCOME rejection! By seeking it out and welcome, I mean to flip rejection in your mind to a positive thing instead of a negative in the sense that with every rejection, you learn and become more immune to the hurt it causes. It doesn't mean you won't be rejected, it just won't hurt as much because you'll have learned to read others better at their "tells" or signs that it's coming, and you'll also not become too emotionally involved as quickly so it won't hurt as much if or when it happens. I don't mean to become a cold, unfeeling person who is rude or who rejects others... I mean fortifying yourself and seeing it all from a self-trust perspective, not something given freely to others. See, it's also not about trusting others - not really. It's about becoming stronger in that area YOURSELF and trusting YOURSELF more to read others quicker. Trusting others less, and putting your trust in yourself in every new interaction knowing that you'll be ok no matter what others do or how you're treated. Think of it as muscle strength training. When we start out lifting weights, it hurts. We make mistakes, do too much and have to sit around with ice packs. Same with strengthening your emotional fortitude. We may give people too much trust and then get hurt. But as we have more experience, we get better at knowing what and how much we can lift (in muscle strength training) or how much we can handle (in emotional strength training). But both examples are and need to be internal first. In the process, you'll make people EARN that trust. Give yourself trust first that you'll expect more from people. That you'll expect them to show you by their behaviors (not just words) that they are worthy of your trust. I hope all that makes sense to you. It's all talking about that happy medium that's important in all areas of life. ❤

[@valvihk3649]

@@nickus51 I am the same way, I see humans by nature as selfish with a lot of toxic tendencies. But, if you want a relationship why not take it slow? Date a person without emotionally attaching too much. Date a person until you are confident that you can handle their baggage and they are committed to handle yours. That may take years, but it's worth it if a healthy relationship is something that you want. Build friendship, learn their behaviors or how they react to different situations. I noticed a cultural thing since high school that we commit too fast. Maybe, we need to pull back and get to know each other. If it doesn't work out romantically, you may keep them as friends.

[@nickus51]

@@valvihk3649 I agree, we as a society should learn to slow down. It seems like majority is looking for that quick dopamin fix, everything must be sudden or as quick as possible.

[@grandeurglory7777]

Thank you very much. Short and concise. No viewing bait garbage.

[@malungayesemusic]

STRAIGHT TO POINT! This is exactly what we need to hear! Wow I appreciate you Susan ❤

[@SusanWinter]

thank you. Sometimes I'd like to do shorter videos that are just to the point. At the time of my writing this, KZbin requires more than eight minutes for a video. But, even to bypass monetization I think it's important to give information that is to the point.

[@teripersson1308]

Great video Susan. This brought back memories of my last relationship. It's been almost a year with no contact, and I know that if he was to turn up again, I would run, run, run xx

[@SusanWinter]

Hi Teri~ Great to hear from you. And so happy that you know what's good for you, regardless of how tempting that might seem at a vulnerable moment. Thanks for your comment and your ongoing support.

[@teripersson1308]

@SusanWinter It's thanks to you, Susan, that you've helped make sense of the (bad) behaviour ❤️

[@charlottelrose3221]

Susan nails it every time!

[@SusanWinter]

Thanks Charlotte!

[@alessaxn]

i love the video and sound quality!

[@SusanWinter]

OK, this time I was using my earbuds and trying a different technology by using the iPhone. I keep experimenting with how to get the best visual and audio possible.

[@KingKull1971]

Amos 3:3 Can two walk together unless they agree to do so?

[@lyndamcmullen5506]

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@SusanWinter]

Hi dear Lynda

[@johnmoreno5965]

😍 My my miss Susan!! 😘 Your looking stunning and I just wanted to show you some love 💕 I can't help it your melting me down a little bit more then usual 🕊️

[@SusanWinter]

ohhhhh...hi John. You lovely man. Thank you for your wonderful comments and warm thoughts.

[@johnmoreno5965]

@@SusanWinter I really appreciate that my lady more then you know. Your a beautiful woman inside and out and I love that about you. This is for you 😘

[@Ravikumar-nc9bz]

Thanks, been some time seeing your video, amazing advice as always

[@SusanWinter]

Aww… love reading this. Thank you for your ongoing support.

[@TheSarah730]

❤ thanks Susan

[@lolLeslylol]

She is ❤❤❤❤❤