How To Rebuild Lost Trust In Marriage

Many people believe trust can't be rebuilt after it's been broken. There is an idea that trust can not be rebuilt, that it can only be taken away. We're here to tell you that's just not true.
In today's episode of Relationship Radio, Dr. Joe Beam (an International Speaker, Author and Founder of Marriage Helper) explains in detail exactly how trust is broken, but more importantly, how it can be rebuilt.
Joining Dr. Beam is Marriage Helper Certified Coach, Priscilla.
By the end of this video, you will learn exactly how trust is lost, how it can be rebuilt, and you will walk away with an action plan on how to begin rebuilding trust with your spouse. Because we believe there is always hope, not matter what has happened.
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[@starsandoval6526]

Thank you for giving me hope. . I am doing everything besides praying everyday and going to church before and after work to rebuild and restore my relationship with the love of my life🙏😭

[@ro_boat]

@wanker2us I'm faithful! Always was faithful & and always will be faithful!

[@aramisy.cajigas744]

The risk of opening one's heart (vulnerability) is that those weak points will be taken against you in the future, at the flick of a finger. That's why we learn not to opening up too much. Sad reality.

[@tinakelly668]

This is such an important topic - thank you for tackling it ❤❤❤❤

[@kaydix6]

Southern charm makes everything better

[@AileenJ16]

Once trust is broken sometimes it can be restore but most of the time once trust is broken the foundation is not going to be the same it’s going to always have doubts and questions . So it be hard to trust someone again and lots of work needs to be done and if the person who broke it is willing to regain that trust again it’s not going to be easy but if it’s sincere and the love is there it can be regain the trust again

[@Chrissy856]

I believe that as well & with God center.🙏🏼

[@Thedancingdoc2028]

I think trust can be rebuilt however I think many people don’t want to do the uncomfortable work to rebuild it. Many people can’t rap their mind around the true internal work that needs to be to addressed. My husband has violated my trust in so many ways that I don’t know if I’ll ever trust him again. From emotional infidelity, financial infidelity, lying to my face. But acts like I am to blame when he set the foundation. I know I haven’t been the best wife but I have been working so hard. Coaching and counseling for me to get back to me. But I see a man that is all for himself and I’ve been left out here alone. I’ve tried to put down my wall to extend a Hand and white flag but he treats me like a bad person. Definitely think he’s projecting to make sure he gets the responsibility off of him. I as a Christian woman am trying not to hate this man, but those feelings are building up so much. I’ve lost almost full respect for him. God is able but my husband won’t allow him and I can’t and won’t continue to stay around while He runs my love and feelings through the mud and continue to be disobedient to God.

[@MarriageHelper]

Hey Tiffany, thank so much for being so transparent about your situation. So sorry to hear you are going through this. It can be very difficult to keep standing when on spouse is unwilling to change. It sounds like you don't want to feel as though you are a "doormat" for lack of a better term, and it sounds like you have been trying to focus on positive changes within yourself. Keep working on you! As far as your comments about the fear of slowly coming to hate your husband, just curious if you have gone through our SMART Contact Toolkit or if you've gone through our Hate Toolkit? The SMART Contact Toolkit teaches you how to have healthy communication, while the Hate Toolkit teaches you how to turn hate back into love. It is for 1 spouse to go through alone and I think you would find a tremendous amount of value in them. Consider calling us and asking about them if you haven't already! 1 866 903 0990! You can also have access to this free ebook in the meantime to teach you the basic approach of SMART Contact! Download it here if you are interested! Free Ebook here: bit.ly/3BSuzRo We hope this helps!

[@Thedancingdoc2028]

@@MarriageHelper I am so sorry I am just now seeing this. Thank you so much for responding back to me. Unfortunately I did not get a chance to do this or speak with anyone before the divorce was finalized. He stated that divorce was the best option so I let the relationship go. He stated he didn’t want to do the work or get help. I didn’t want to lose my family or marriage but I can’t keep this up. And he didn’t fight for it and wasn’t willing. The aftermath after the divorce is beyond what I thought it would be it way more painful than I anticipated. My step son is extremely hurt by this situation. I did watch a smart contact video. Im just now understanding what that means. So I am only speaking about things in regards to the house. I no longer want the relationship due to the damage that was done and the lack of effort. Unfortunately once the house situation is handled, I do not plan to have any contact with him. Im coming to terms that means I may lose my relationship with his son And family members that I’ve gone close to.

[@johnwalsh518]

The problem with the modern western men and women is they Don't marry for the right reasons. They have a great time while dating but just don't understand marriage is hard work and has to be worked at every day and everything you do has to be for both in the marriage but modern people are just to selfish and it's all about them the me,me,me people. In the west especially as all family values have gone out the window and that's why I went south east 25 years ago and I have never been sorry.

[@TomikaKelly]

Why are you still with him? At a certain point you have to take responsibility for your own misery

[@Chrissy856]

🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

[@johnl.5907]

Great video. Thank you for what you guys have done in my life.

[@MarriageHelper]

Thank you so much John L.. We truly appreciate your comment and are grateful to have you as part of our community here on KZbin. Please, don't hesitate to reach out to us if there's anything else we can do for you. marriagehelper.com/marriage-strategy-call/ Blessings,

[@enginetix]

Ive broken my wifes trust because i allowed myself to relapse. Hopefully my progress wont be "too little too late". Thabk you for the hope and videos!

[@MarriageHelper]

Hey @enginetix, we are so sorry to hear you are going through this. Unfortunately, what you have described is very common to what we see and deal with on a regular basis with the couples we work with. Because of situations like yours, we actually created a course designed to help you save your marriage! It's the Save My Marriage Course Membership! It's 12 in-depth video lessons designed to teach you exactly what to do to save your marriage. You also get the included workbook, a private online support group, discounts on coaching packages, and even private live support calls and trainings with Dr. Joe Beam and Kimberly Holmes! If you're about to give up, please consider getting this membership first! Find out more here: bit.ly/3EXzcKn

[@rays1830]

Thank you for this wish I had more videos like this

[@SVGuen]

I'm 47 yrs, right now I'm lost. I've been marriage for 23 yrs and now my marriage is breaking. He cheated on me many times and I always forgive him, he was cheated and then he got a heart attack and I was there for him. He cheated again and we went to the lawyer to sign the agreement, and then he cheated again, was about to end the marriage but then he had a cancer and again I was there for him. Now he's cheating again, and asked that we have open marriage. I'm angry, disappointed and sad. I'm mentally drained!

[@winterlite3243]

Has no one replied to you? I do not understand? This is supposed to be a channel to help people 😞. I am no professional in any capacity but my heart hurts for you. I know there are always two sides to the story & I do not know the whole 23 yr history of your marriage. My only suggestion is that if your spouse cannot be faithful, he may have a problem unrelated to you for which he needs professional help. May God bless you with His comfort, strength and peace. His is the only true lasting love! ✨🙏🏼💖

[@GenRN]

How have things gone?

[@somewhereinthemidwest9827]

I’m so sorry that you are going through that. Divorce is a hard decision to make. However, when someone’s actions hurt you there’s a problem whether they think there is or not. Leave him. Salvage your self esteem and move on from him. He’s got a proven track record and he’s not going to change.

[@estherwanjiku414]

Please you need to put yourself now.Leave and try find peace.

[@TomikaKelly]

He's looking for a nurse to take care of him in old age. Don't be that nurse. Grant yourself the gift of freedom from that hellish contract called your marriage.

[@maribelhurtado8970]

Thank you, you guys are awesome!

[@MarriageHelper]

Thank you so much Maribel Hurtado. We truly appreciate your comment and are grateful to have you as part of our community here on KZbin. Please, don't hesitate to reach out to us if there's anything else we can do for you. marriagehelper.com/marriage-strategy-call/ Blessings,

[@JasminePeteetArocha-ug5bm]

hello great video i lose my trust in my huband in the marriage...this is will help trust back to my husband.

[@deborahrouse5644]

I think affairs are much more monumental than money spending, unless the person spending money drives the couple into irreversible debt!

[@MarriageHelper]

While we agree that there can be different levels of trust that is broken, the core principles remain the same! Whether it was financial infidelity, emotional or physical. It is all a form of breaking trust within a marriage! We hope you found this video helpful and maybe found some ways to rebuild trust within your own marriage Deborah! Thanks for commenting!

[@ssing7113]

Not one bit. Trust can be broken on anything you assumed or people made agreements about or thought would happen and it blindsided you. It has been studied prolly enough that it’s shocking to you. Emotional cheating is more damaging to people then physical cheating ( as in over 50% of people report this )

[@clintbailey8220]

I have lost the trust my wife had with me and keep falling off the wagon that was giving her the reason to trust me. And now I'm not at my home that we built with our 5 children. And this really hurts and embarrasses me. I feel like I'm a failure from everything that I've been for.

[@kedronhoughton1909]

I’m in the same boat & feel the same way! Only thing to do now is stop any/all bad behavior, work on myself to be a better man for friends & family, & keep a positive attitude! Stay strong brother!

[@rugby310]

@@kedronhoughton1909I’m in the same boat as well. Has things gotten better? And do you think we will be able reconcilin?

[@sek2589]

What if the affair was all online? Knowing where each other is doesn’t do much! It’s always worried what he is doing on his phone, computer or another device. This has been a big struggle for me

[@MarriageHelper]

Hey Sloane, sorry to hear you are going through this. You may be interested in our Boundaries Toolkit. In it we discuss how to set safeguards that offer protection (STOPs) and continuing our relationship essentials (COREs). You may find this helpful if you believe your spouse is continuing an online / emotional affair with someone else. The best thing for you though will always be the 3 day workshop we offer! It's nearly 26 hours of jam-packed teaching sessions and it can be done online or in-person. Have you talked with our team about it before? If not please consider reaching out at 1 866 903 0990! We'd love to talk with you and connect you to the best resources even if the workshop is not feasible right now!

[@tranellmoore6591]

I’m so sorry you are going through this. This is my situation as well and it’s been 1yr since I found out that an emotional affair took place for 10months, before I found out myself. So I’d say be easy on yourself, try to see what steps he is taking to better himself and make like I did; I required his Facebook be deleted.

[@tranellmoore6591]

I am also in counseling myself- I’ve taken responsibility for my part in breaking my marriage and he has as well. Yet I still don’t trust him as far as I can throw him. We were separated all year of 2022 and we just moved three weeks ago to a new place together. It will take a while but both must put in the work.

[@sek2589]

@@wanker2us I disagree. Inappropriate photos were exchanged, video chats too place. Just because it wasn’t physical touch, doesn’t mean it wasn’t cheating.

[@TomikaKelly]

If you use have all these worries, it's time to leave.

[@favoredgurl]

I hv noticed it

[@giselamarch1994]

After 60plus years of affairs, lies, humiliation, smear campaignes, spending family money, etc. Would you please tell me how trust can be rebuild?

[@giselamarch1994]

@@wanker2us You are so right. Now I know it. But hope dies last until the volcano erupts. Now I am blamed, and I have an actor who plays the "victim" on my hands.

[@user-vw1tx4tq6l]

How do I deal with my wife ie have discussions about sensitive topics and not having her go ballistic immediately?

[@melodyopene]

What if the person in question is not having any regrets for cheating

[@tranellmoore6591]

Then they are a narcissist and will do it agian more than likely.

[@lizardman9494]

Then they don’t care about you at all. They like the things you provide, but don’t like you very much and they will do it again

[@sherirae3658]

Run

[@TomikaKelly]

Then you leave

[@thefrozengoat]

Unfortunately you may need to evaluate whether or not you’re willing to tolerate the cheating again.

[@LifeHacks_Central]

Hey there! We totally get it-losing trust in a marriage can be devastating. But here's the thing: trust can absolutely be rebuilt, no doubt about it! Don't buy into the myth that it's gone forever. We're here to show you practical ways to mend that trust and make your marriage stronger than ever

[@johnwalsh518]

Yes for a small few but not for most.

[@Sc0rpion68]

No.

[@johnwalsh518]

Trust is the foundation of marriage if broken very very hard to get back I wouldnt want to police a women if you have to do that then it isnt worth bothering. Better just move on as it more than likely they will cheat again and be better at hiding it.

[@Enod0208]

I do not totally agree to what she said on having an app to track each other’s whereabouts is a solution or tool! why? for me, infidelity does not have the boundary of knowing what places the betrayer is. Lust or just looking at a woman lustfully across a restaurant where I know he is there thru an app is considered a deceitful act or what started off the whole fling or relationship with another woman.

[@ebest1338]

I understand what Priscilla said about the App to track and see where each other is. For the betrayed person, it can give a little measure of comfort but while it may show me that he's say at work, or another place the truth is that he could be at work and the affair or cheating partner is there with him. He could be at an event and I'm home and he's with the other woman. After trust has been broken many times and promises to recommit to me (even when I was unaware he was cheating) were broken, it is very hard to feel I can ever trust him again. Not to mention that even though he says he's doing things, he struggles to be consistent in checking in when he's out (accountablility), thinks he's being tracked/checked upon, feels untrusted, feels he's not his own man, and still believes it's okay to hide his phone when checking it, and still continues to add and chat with females I don't know and a lot of emotional connections before were done via the phone and social media. I am working on me but after finding out how many times he cheated in our marriage this part about rebuilding trust is a big issue. Sigh. Sad.

[@lucylucy2171]

How do you regain someone's trust who you were separated from and one ended up having a child with soemone else during separation? But you love eachother and want to forgive, trust and work on it again?

[@okanyaabrahamoluka5144]

I doubt if this possible pulling it off again...

[@praetoriangward8507]

@@okanyaabrahamoluka5144 Thank God the lord is forgiving and the God if impossible

[@imanivaldez5303]

I’m for sure I’m not fighting for any man that have a child on m the . That’s a no no

[@maybox2084]

Nothing can be done if break the trust moreover if he/she is cheating

[@knowinghistruth7227]

What do you do when a spouse repeatedly breaks trust, never apologizes, and makes it out like the things she does is what she needs to do for her emotional needs? I want to trust her but she seems to not believe that what she does should be anything for me to be concerned about? She just wants to go on like it shouldn’t matter to me?

[@suziesmith9076]

Be petty do something outrageous and out of character then then tell her that’s exactly how u feel

[@Kelly-wx9ry]

I am a forgiving individual, but i have never been able to trust a woman after she cheated on me.

[@imanivaldez5303]

You can if she really repented

[@mekaanddanial]

Hi, I’m Jan I’d been married for12 years just got divorced in 2017 is it possible to reconcile after emotional affair on my part he remarried

[@lizardman9494]

Leave him alone

[@mamajen4jesus]

If he remarried, please leave him alone!

[@estherwanjiku414]

They were already in love.Just let him be

[@federicohernandez5636]

Some one told me that tracking your spouse is controlling her.

[@miracleOfLights]

Yes that person is not property, they are a person.

[@Adityavagunturi]

No matter what you try to rebuild trust..if your spouse is not willing to trust you or looks for reasons to mistrust you, there is nothing you can do

[@sasamilic9374]

I wish I was tracking my wife before affair went too far...

[@jessiethornton-ry4ce]

You should not do it secretly, it's the kind of things the betraying spouse can/should agree to on their own if they want to rebuild trust and not forever but more like a period of time along with other things that will all rebuild trust!