How to resist the urge to cheat - step by step guide for bisexual people

This video gives a proven method for overcoming unwanted bisexual urges or the desire to cheat on your partner.
We all have urges from time to time and especially when we are with a long term partner. But for those of us who are bisexual it can be even more confusing.
The urge to go out and cheat on your partner or otherwise engage in behaviours which don’t serve us is a real challenge.
How do we overcome these feelings and what if we do want to cheat? This video explains all.
@notdefining is a support network for anyone who has ever struggled with their orientation, identity, self confidence or gender.
We create content and mentor to help you find a place where you feel confident and fulfilled, whatever your background or identity.
If you like our content please subscribe, like and share. Also you can check @notdening out on Instagram, Twitter and TikTok.
To book a 1:1 coaching session with Mark visit notdefining.square.space.
Finally, if you would like to receive dedicated support and tips from Mark or simply support our platform then head over to www.patreon.com/notdefining. We’d love to see you there.
@notdefining on TikTok
vm.tiktok.com/ZMLuo2RnW/
The Queer Spectrum Podcast, co-hosted by Mark from @notdefining
www.buzzsprout.com/1905169
@notdefining on Twitter
/ notdefining
@notdefining on Instagram
/ notdefining
Support our partner charity
ukblackpride.org.uk/donate
#bisexual #cheating #relationships

[@notdefining]

To book a private coaching session with Mark check out www.notdefining.com/coaching-info. To join group sessions and write in your questions come join us at patreon.com/notdefining.

[@thewrecktherapist2890]

a

[@toinex1]

As a gay guy whos partner is bi this is really helpful information, we really talk about sexuality and he has explained his bi cycle to me. I find it interesting because I’m only attracted to men and don't experience that at all. He explained a lot of biphobia comes from people not knowing how to deal with their bi cycle and ultimately cheating on their partner with someone whos gender is opposite of the partner and that causes distrust from the non bi person which leads to the non bi person saying they will never be with a bi person again.

[@lukephillips1331]

i’m glad you’re making this because too many bi men think it’s okay to cheat. have seen way too many instances of them acting like cheating on their wives is no big deal at all. let’s not normalize this shit.

[@notdefining]

I know you might think you’re being supportive but this is biphobic and not okay on this page. Bisexual men are less likely to cheat than heterosexual or gay men. Statistically proven. Much less. So check your wrong stereotypes and give us some love. Thank you so much for watching and for supporting. Much love.

[@lukephillips1331]

@@notdefining i am bi myself and it’s a problem in our community. acting like i’m stereotyping isn’t true because i see it all the time unfortunately. the mods of biggest bisexual man subreddit removed people for calling a poster out for cheating. there is an issue and pointing out that gay or straight men do it more or less isn’t good proof that it isn’t an issue.

[@allanprimeau7864]

Very well done. Clearly explained. I have lived so much of my life thinking, or being made to think I wasn't allowed to feel certain things, feeling ashamed of what I was feeling. Journaling is very helpful.

[@notdefining]

You're very welcome. And you are absolutely allowed to feel things. Always.

[@lisaburgos1840]

Thank you a million times for this video!!!!!!!

[@notdefining]

You are so welcome! I’m so glad it was helpful.

[@peachienickle]

I was 24 and the girl I met, age 17, became loyal to me from before we became official girlfriend/boyfriend. She now know about my boyfriend before her after I became truthful to her after 15 years married and that I will forever be loyal to her. She knows I still feel attraction to persons who were born with their correct body and those who wish they were born into their correct body and my loving loyality to her and her only. 2022 marked 33 years married for life and my loyality to her.

[@notdefining]

Beautiful

[@peachienickle]

@@Sheshini I am still with her and will be with her forever. I am like a straight man married to a straight woman and still attracted to other women and his wife knows that. My wife knows that I am attracted to both women and men born into the correct body structure as well as women and men who wish they were born into the correct body as well as those who have gone into surgery to get into the body they wish they had.

[@notdefining]

@@Sheshini I'm currently single and very okay with that.

[@peachienickle]

@@notdefining I stayed single from when I was dropped by my boyfriend when we were both 17, until I met my wife and I was 24 and I ok with that. High School friends had been married with children when I met my wife. It all depended on how the other person treated that I allowed into my life. If no one came along I was ok with being non-sexual.

[@notdefining]

@@peachienickle Hey thanks so much for sharing your experiences. I appreciate it so much.

[@tylerd.5694]

Great video with some very good points I hadn't even thought of.

[@notdefining]

Glad it was helpful! Sending love.

[@meowmoi]

Well. This was validating AF (excuse my language) and so recognizable it's borderline eerie. Wow, these videos of yours... 👏👏👏

[@notdefining]

Thank you for saying. It’s recognisable because it comes from pure lived experience. It’s just real from my heart no filter. You’re not alone.

[@wareforcoin5780]

I've been doing most of this stuff by complete accident. I have never assigned any kind of moral meaning to the urges. They've been going on with me since before I learned any "better" about them. I just sort of feel it, accept it, and let myself daydream a little. I also feel a lot more like I need validation in my experience (I have a few bi friends but we're all too busy updating each other about our lives, and making jokes, and laughing), so I end up watching bisexual youtube videos. lol

[@notdefining]

Hey that’s totally understandable. This stuff just comes from what we should really naturally instinctually do. It’s not rocket science. But we get so caught up on judging ourselves sometimes. So that’s great you’re not doing that too much it seems.

[@SNiiFiinPAiiNT]

I’m straight but I wish I was bi

[@notdefining]

You would be most welcome any time

[@Maeniel83]

@@Sheshini For everyone existing on a scale and labels only being a frame to faster access and process things. Notdefining probably interpreted SNiiFiins wish as them currently identifying as straight but being curious alas not completely on the outer scale. If they ever choose to act on this curiosity and then realize it is great for them. They themself might change how they identify. You are right that it is no free choice to make, cause it depends on things one does not have control over. But _realization_ can happen.

[@notdefining]

@@Sheshini That is true.

[@keepthepeacesharethelove7022]

Maybe l did get you wrong. In my opinion a sexual desire or lust is not a feeling at all. It is like hunger and thirst, it's a need, a sexual need to stay sexually healthy. When somebody is bi, this someone has sexual desire or lust for women and men, and not or. If this someone has the sexual desire for sex with a man or woman, this desire is not solved and will not be solved by having sex with the opposite sex you have the sexual desire for. And in my opinion you can't cheat a man with a woman and vice versa, because a man's body is different from a woman's body. If a man's body would be the same as a woman's body, there would be no gays, straights, pansexual, etc. Therefore a not bi person in a relationship with a bi person should be aware that he/she can only satisfy one sexual part of the bi person. I was relationships and l'm in relationship with a bi person and for me it was clear he/she should be able to have with the opposite sex of me for once in a while.

[@failedatmakingasandwich423]

Cheating with anyone is still cheating. Being bi isn’t an excuse. If you want to let your partner do that, you have to talk about it, if they do it behind your back and you don’t want that, it is cheating.

[@Lycaon1765]

Why does this video keep becoming unnecessarily bright, wtf

[@notdefining]

Thanks for raising this. I was testing a new lighting set up and it was very bright. Has it been resolved in my newer videos? I hope so. Sorry for blinding you! Haha