Is everyone a bit bisexual? | sexuality specialist explains the surprising science

People sometimes say that everyone is a bit bisexual. Oftentimes people say it more about women than men. But is it true?
Are we really all bisexual? Could everyone be on the bi spectrum? What does the science of sexuality say?
This video gives a detailed scientific explanation of the bisexual spectrum and whether we can truly say that everyone is bi.
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#bisexual #lgbt #sexuality

[@notdefining]

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[@MikeCohenSF]

I'm 100% gay. I don't feel even the slightest heterosexual attraction.

[@user-ge2oh8nj5h]

Even not towards masculine presenting women?

[@abdullahyasser7402]

​@@user-ge2oh8nj5hButch women are women too !!

[@DewtbArenatsiz]

​@@user-ge2oh8nj5h No

[@bobby1970]

That's so cool.

[@GTO20122012]

@@user-ge2oh8nj5hthey still women 🙄

[@brockreynolds870]

The answer: No. I'm 110% gay. I've not even had a sexual dream about a woman. Not once in my life.

[@johnrichards3666]

I couldn't agree more.

[@soultwinmessiah]

So far... 😉 lol

[@bobby1970]

It's not that often that I get sexually aroused thinking about a woman. I'm very close to being completely gay.

[@JuanLopez-tp7hj]

Then you get a big gold star ⭐️:)

[@laughingmonarch4582]

@@soultwinmessiah conversion therapist detected!

[@marcsteppi2192]

no, I´m not bisexual! I´m 100% gay!

[@stevers62]

Me too! Sometimes it seems to be the old joke: “Bi now, gay later.” 🙂

[@dnordwest]

@@stevers62 I'm gay as well with clearly manly identification. I never would paint my finger nails. Nice joke, new to me as a German, works only in English ;-)

[@bobby1970]

That's so awesome. I'm very close to being completely gay myself. I have very little sexual interest in women.

[@Leviwosc]

Very interesting video! I'm a proceptive gay man, I'm out. Yet, it happened a couple of years ago, I met a woman with whom I had an extraordinary click. She is an intelligent, confident, stylish, and attractive lady. She knew that I am gay from day one and we became friends almost instantly. I loved her energy, her presence, and the conversations we had. During a wine festival in my home town, I saw her conversing with other guests and she was illuminated by the warm light of festive lampoons, then that moment I felt something for her a feeling which I cannot describe. It was not me falling in love, but rather a huge appreciation for her as a friend and as a wonderful woman. This feeling really surprised me and even scared me a bit. Because, I NEVER felt that for a woman, only for men. But it was certain that I only felt a romantic attraction, my attraction was not at all sexual. I didn't tell her this right away, I was afraid she would feel uncomfortable. Later I told her that she is the only woman who ever made me doubt whether I'm truly gay.

[@gabrielgarciamartin8660]

Energy is power

[@firephoenix8087]

A lot of gay men like telling bi people that you are just lying you're gay and am like the f are you to tell me who I like I love both what's so. confusing about that

[@bobby1970]

I agree with you 100%. I don't know why straight and gay people give us bisexual men such a hard time. I wish they would accept us the way we accept them. I don't understand why they can't understand that we truly do like and desire both genders. It's sad, really.

[@PokhrajRoy.]

Also, I’ve noticed the gender binary at its strongest when women declare ‘women crushes’ but for men, there’s either hesitation or fetishisation of a body type.

[@Mauy2024]

Most animals are Bi, Bonobos are mostly Bi, but not all of them are. However, with humans, culture and societal 'norms' influences how one describes their sexuality, therefore not seeing/ accepting sexuality from a natural biological perspective.

[@notdefining]

Yep true

[@kmarie7051]

In all societies across all cultures the vast majority of men and women are heterosexual, even in uncivilised tribes. Multiple and repeated studies over the years measuring genital arousal, pupil dilation, brain activity viewing erotic images and videos showed genital responses in heterosexual and homosexual men accorded with their self=declared. attraction. Straight men responded to erotic videos of women and gay men to erotic videos of men. The correspondences of sexual arousal indices were similar for Heterosexual and homosexual men . These findings are in line with other research suggesting that some aspects of the neurological organization of male sexual arousal are independent of sexual orientation, and therefore expressed similarly in heterosexual and homosexual men. These findings were consistent with the literature on sex differences in the agreement of genital arousal with subjective arousal. In addition, physiological sexual arousal and sexual orientation were more strongly linked in men than women. It's hypothesized that males might have evolved to coordinate their sexual arousal and attraction indices more strongly than women because it aids them in building their sexual orientation towards relevant sexual targets. Perhaps, then, men’s, more than women’s, reactions are an integrated part of their sexual response system that involves the synchronization of other aspects of their sexual arousal. Studies on arousal patterns in bisexual men usually show they respond to one sex much stronger than the other, although they respond slightly stronger to their less preferred sex than do heterosexual or homosexual men who usually only show strong arousal to their stated sexual orientation and preferred sex. Bisexual men who reported equal attraction to the sexes, did not show equivalent responses to erotic videos of men and women. Rather, they responded much more strongly to one sex-usually men- than the other. Men with actual bisexual arousal patterns are so much harder to find that researchers have had to use the same men on multiple studies. The bisexual who responded to both sexes had an actual history of multiple physical and romantic relationships with both men and women. It may also be that some bisexual men sometimes experience different kinds of sexual attraction to men and women. For example. they may be more physically attracted to men and more romantically or emotionally attracted to women. Women’s variable sexual arousal, as compared to men’s, could be due to the fact that female sexual attraction is more strongly affected by situational, cultural, and environmental circumstances. If bisexual men are more female-typical in arousal patterns than other men, then, perhaps, they are more influenced by these external factors, resulting in a less specific arousal pattern. Such variability within bisexual men could in part explain inconsistent findings for their sexual arousal to men and women They did do a study over some years not so long ago on fluidity in sexuality on both sexes of all sexual orientations- self reported and arousal patterns- to see if anyone claiming to have change sexual orientation whether they showed different arousal patterns. None of the heterosexual or homosexual men said they'd changed, but a few bisexual men said they did with more self reported change in women( mostly bisexual women). None of their arousal patterns had changed though. So sometimes sexual identity doesn't always align with sexual arousal and sexual attraction which seems to be more stable than sexual identity. From most of the studies on male and female sexuality there does seem to be more of a biological aversion aspect in male sexual orientation in general, even in homosexual men who can have a strong aversion to sex with a woman. This maybe because natural selection exerts different pressures on males and females. In virtually every mammalian species there is male-male competition. in most mammalian species most males who reach reproductive age never get to copulate even once, while virtually every female that reaches reproductive age will find someone to donate sperm to her. Also in many mammalian species mothers can cooperate in rearing offsping at little cost. In some cultures unmarried women have been sequestered and were therefore invisible to men and unobtainable as sex partners. In such environments, male adolescents were often sought after as sex partners by adult men. especially by young unmarried men. Ancient Greece is a particularly well know example. A more recent example is the same sex culture that has existed in Afghanistan under the Taliban where all women are hidden behind their burqas. One Kandahar told the newyork times that he likes boys, but likes girls better but they cannot see the girls to see if they are beautiful. In such cultures, the choice of adolescent boys as partners reflects the facts that these youths, lacking beards and adult musculature, are closer to women in appearance than are adult men. A lot of these men in ancient Greece and Afghanistan are not homosexual in the sense they have a strong preference for males when given the choice of sexual partners. What these cultures do demonstrate is to the degree to which sexual desire and sexual behaviour accommodate themselves to a restricted range of options, just as they do in prisons and other single sex environments today. In animals, sexual interactions between same sex partners (male mounting another male or female mounting another female) are observed in a broad variety of animal species. Often, these behaviors are expressed only when a suitable partner of the opposite sex is not available due to captivity (zoo or other captive populations), or when a skewed sex ratio in the population, or the presence of dominant males is preventing access to females. These behaviors do not represent a true same sex preference but serve as an outlet for sexual motivation in the absence of suitable partners of the opposite sex. The only case known of spontaneous same sex preference is in a sheep population in the western part of the United States( this has no been found in wild sheep, only these domesticated rams). It could be argued that because you're dealing with domesticated species you're therefore dealing with genes being selected for female fecundity which have a byproduct of causing a certain amount of same sex behaviour among males, a sexually antagonistic effect. the same theory that has been suggested in humans Interestingly enough some of the same differences in these male-orientated rams has also been found in gay men. A region of the hypothamalamus called the medical preoptic area is involved in the regulation of male-typical behaviours, and within this area lies at least one cell group that is larger in males than females. In rats this cell group is called the sexually dimorphic nucleus of the preoptic area(SDN-POA) and in humans it is called the third interstitial nucleus of the anterior hypothalamus(INAH3) It is suspected that the rats SDN-POA and the human INAH3 are homologous structures, meaning that they have evolved from the same structure in the common ancestor of rats and humans. Studies have showed the INAH3 is significantly smaller in gay men than straight men. Infact there is no significant difference between its size in the gay men and in women. In sheeo the SDN of the ovine POA (oSDN), a brain structure that is approximately three times larger in males than in females and contains about four times more neurons, was shown to be significantly smaller in male-oriented rams than in female-oriented rams. The oSDN also contained fewer neurons and expressed aromatase at reduced levels in male-oriented rams than in female-oriented rams. The features of this nucleus therefore correlate with sexual partner preference: subjects attracted to males (females and male-oriented rams) are similar and distinguished from subjects attracted to females female-oriented rams. The volume of the oSDN is already larger in males than in females around the end of embryonic life and differentiates under the influence of testosterone in males. Embryonic treatment of females with testosterone between 30 and 90 d of gestation results in a masculinized oSDN in females. This nucleus is indeed located in the center of the POA, a region involved in the control of sexual behavior and male-typical partner preferences. Male-typical sexual orientation is controlled at least in part by the POA (like sexual behavior), and it differentiates under the influence of pre-/perinatal sex steroids. In rats and sheep, the size of a potentially homologous nucleus located in the same part of the POA (SDN-POA in rat, oSDN in sheep) is irreversibly determined by embryonic sex steroids. Moreover, lesions of this nucleus in adult male rats or ferrets modifies sexual partner preference, an animal model of sexual orientation. If the same mechanisms control the development of INAH3 in humans, the smaller INAH3 of gay men most likely be a marker of deficient exposure to androgens during ontogeny and a cause of the modified sexual orientation. These organizing actions of sex steroids on behavior are paralleled by irreversible changes in brain structure. The sexual preference of a male for a female is controlled, like the expression of male-typical sexual behavior, by the medial part of the POA. Experimental lesion of this brain region causes a reversal of the males' preference in rats and ferrets: after surgery, they prefer to spend time with other males rather than with sexually receptive females.

[@david_allen1]

I believe that's one factor that makes research on the topic a bit tricky. What people will admit (heavily influenced by societal norms) can be quite different from what they feel or act on. In addition to that complexity, the label that they'll place on it might vary from one person to the next. Can't imagine the difficulty of doing research and getting to fundamental truths in this arena especially when you consider the shame that is heaped ("recent" historically) on anyone who admits to anything other than heterosexuality. I'm aware that it hasn't always been that way, but recently for many years it has.

[@Mauy2024]

@@david_allen1 Humans are emotionally complicated creatures. I agree!

[@nagillim7915]

From what i've read, homosexual behaviours are highest in mammalian species that don't have an active vomeronasal organ. The vomeronasal organ is an olfactory sensor found in the soft palate. Humans have a vomeronasal slit but we lack the olfactory nerves to transmit scent data to the brain. The VNO is specialised in detecting sexual pheromones. Male animals with an active VNO will perform a telltale facial expression in the presence of a fertile female: they pull the top lip back from the teeth, touch their hard palate with their tongue and draw in breath through the teeth so that the air passes over the VNO to filter the pheromones through it.

[@panthersworld5587]

I gotten to know the bi community for almost a few months they are a very interesting and very chill coummity

[@crjetpilot]

I can most definitely say that I am not bisexual. I am 100% gay. I have zero interest in the opposite sex, and find the idea repulsive. I like women but I don’t want to be with one.

[@gabrielgarciamartin8660]

Mia Khalifa or Putin?

[@JaneChristensen.]

Could it be that societies attitudes have conditioned a lot of bi people to keep that part of themselves a secret, even to the extent of not reporting their true sexuality on an anonymous survey? The numbers seem wrong to me, and if you look at research going quite far back, the numbers of bi people seem to be shrinking over time. As a bi trans woman who lived a lot of her life prior to transition, it's been very interesting seeing what actually happens in terms of behaviour of people who knew me prior to transition vs those I have only recently met. In some cases people I have been intimate with while expressing myself as male in the past, are definitely no longer attracted, and in other instances people who presented themselves as gay (male and female) have become very interested in getting together. Among new acquaintances there seems to be interest from all over the spectrum despite widespread talk of trans phobia, although some of these people will only admit the attraction in private. It's all pretty confusing new territory for me to navigate, but a lot of fun at times too.

[@anthonycarbonaro7890]

Bisexual: Estimates range from around 2% to 5% of the population identifying as bisexual, but some studies suggest it could be higher.

[@notdefining]

True

[@gamer1X12]

that still leaves 95-98% of the population heterosexual. lmao

[@bobby1970]

I think it's way higher than that, even for bisexual men alone. I'd say probably a lot closer to at least 20% of the male population. Too many men are scared to come out of the closet. Be brave and come out. I did. There's nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. Just do it. I love everyone knowing all about me.

[@anthonycarbonaro7890]

@@bobby1970 Right.. the real number is closer to 25%

[@bobby1970]

@@anthonycarbonaro7890 That's so awesome. Hopefully the numbers keep going up with each generation.

[@elizabethking8373]

I believe what you are saying is valid, but towards the end, what you’re explaining is alterous attraction/queer platonic relationships. They aren’t romantic or sexual in nature, but commitments in the relationship go beyond societal expectations of what a friendship should be. The aroace community uses it and just as you said, romantic attraction can be completely independent of sexual attraction. I believe that alterous and queer platonic attraction is completely separate from both romantic and sexual attraction. More attention should be given to these attraction dynamics. Yes, those feelings can be oriented, like bi or pan-queer platonic, but it’s fundamentally not the same as romance or sexual orientation.

[@notdefining]

Hey thank you so much for adding these important aspects to the conversation. Really appreciate it and you’re absolutely right, there are distinctions when it comes to queer platonic or alterous attractions.

[@csignorelli1]

I agree with this comment. I am a totally gay man, never had any sexual feelings for a woman. But when I was in middle school, I had an intense emotional crush on a girl in class.

[@bobby1970]

For me, it's all about the sexual attraction, at least for now, it's the only thing I'm interested in. I'm mostly interested in the same gender (male).

[@movingloz]

The Kinsley scale. I 110% agree with it. Some straight some gay but the majority are on the spectrum in between. I always since my memory began identified as Bi and my now ex wife and everyone else knew it. Divorce fixed that and totally Gay now. I believe sexuality can be fluid.

[@cnmcginn1981]

You mention bromances and people freaking out because it suggests sexual interaction. My best friend died two months ago and even now my heart aches when i think of him. He was my soulmate. I believe that very deeply down. I wasn't just sad when he died, my soul broke. My life completely sucks wothout him and I hate being awake. But we never "went there". Right now im sitting in a train station bawling my eyes out as I write about him. If thats a bromance, I'll happily wear that badge with honour, but he was my soulmate. A soulmate, anyway.

[@PokhrajRoy.]

People deny queerness so much that my defence mechanism has become assuming everyone is queer until proven otherwise.

[@prestonsaidno]

Same

[@slickandslaycious6579]

💯

[@slickandslaycious6579]

Honestly it's probably the safer thing to do.... I've said before and I'll say it again, if every guy who claimed to be hetero actually was then I'd basically be a virgin

[@jewls695]

@@kaseyford1490 saying that a man must be a little queer because he’s into stereotypically queer items of clothing/accessories etc just perpetuates the stereotypes that all gay men are actually flamboyant deep down. Which is ridiculous as there are plenty of gay men who are ‘straight passing’ and lots of straight men who have buried their strong feminine traits.

[@bobby1970]

It's really a shame that more men don't come out. I believe there are so many bisexual and gay men that are in hiding. There's nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed of. I came out as bisexual.

[@user-wi3yx3gy2o]

I think this is usually self-reported, and based on recent feelings, not remotely past feelings or behavior, and that it is possible therefore to be no longer best described by the labels bisexual gay or straight.

[@user-wi3yx3gy2o]

I mean if the goal post for declaring someone bisexual shifts to has that person ever been attracted to more than one gender, you get closer to everyone, but not very close. And if the goal post shifts to "could that person even hypothetically be attracted to more than one gender?" then it becomes a bit meaningless, doesn't it?

[@notdefining]

@@user-wi3yx3gy2o exactly. It becomes meaningless. Sexuality labels exist on a spectrum. They only mean what we make of them. Attraction is so diverse.

[@Classical741]

This is not new. The Kinsey finding that there is a spectrum has been criticized, but their result has never been disproven. But the result you quote about the disconnect between sexual and romantic is fascinating. Any scientific result, however comforting we may find it, that purports to have only two alleged outcomes is simply wrong. Nature is always non-binary!

[@rjcarter2904]

A recent study conducted by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention revealed that nearly 25% of Gen Z respondents reported being "something other than heterosexual." Interestingly, this comports almost exactly with the Gallop poll conducted about three years ago. A plurality of respondents identified as bisexual--so, the most common component of LGBTQ+. The percentage decreased with each preceding generation, but still was over 10% for Gen X and millennials. It was lowest for boomers at around 2-3%. Of course, such studies have a number of confounds, e.g., willingness to respond honestly, willingness to assume a label, etc. These numbers have been increasing fairly dramatically over the past several decades. In my opinion, that has to do with a more "permissive" society in which being LGBTQ+ no longer is tabu. I doubt that it is a result of there being more LGBTQ+ people. That would be pretty rapid evolution! 🙂

[@notdefining]

Yes it’s actually over 50%

[@briankendall2290]

In other words Heterosexuals claiming to be "Queer".

[@Cay30]

Im mostly gay like a kinsey 4.5 or 5. Im mostly into dudes but sometimes I am attracted to a woman and cant explain it

[@notdefining]

Can anyone explain their orientation? Why should you have to?

[@o0R3stless0o]

I wouldn't say everyone but Damn sure a lot!

[@notdefining]

Pretty much sums up my entire video haha thanks

[@bobby1970]

I think us bisexual men will eventually be a lot more accepted over time, and be a lot closer to being accepted almost as much as true gay men are. At least I hope so, anyway.

[@emgray311]

This just made so much sense of so many moments in my life. Thank you so much for this.

[@notdefining]

I'm so glad!

[@cameronmackenzie704]

Thank you for your videos. I’m learning a lot about the community.

[@notdefining]

My pleasure! I’m so pleased.

[@johngolden891]

Speaking in terms of sexual attraction, a higher percent of people are bisexual over a lifetime than at any given moment in time. Some men were homosexual in youth but subsequently marry women and are happy later in life as heterosexual. The eminent economist J.M .Keynes is an example. Others marry women, have kids, and then later in life discover a powerful homosexual attractions as did, say, Oscar Wilde. Another point when considering sexuality at a moment in time: Men vary widely in sexual intensity. Instead of a Kinsey scale of 6 pure homosexual and 0 pure heterosexual, one thing of a triangle where there points represent extremely intense homosexual, extremely intense heterosexual and asexual (no attraction to either sex. Thanks for the video, very much enjoyed it and have subscribed. Best wishes.

[@bobby1970]

That's very interesting. I'm a bisexual man who is about a 5 on the Kinsey scale. Going by your theory or scenario, and the way I feel like that I'm becoming gayer by the day, I could very well end up being completely homosexual eventually. If that's the case, I wouldn't mind that, and I would definitely accept it. Actually, I think it would be kind of cool.

[@johngolden891]

@@bobby1970 thanks, Bobby. Yours is an interesting experience. I think there must be many other men who earlier in their lives who once had meaningful sexual experiences with women, but now regard themselves as absolutely gay. Compared to my gay friends, I have always had a lower drive than average and had no experiences until age 23 and all experience since has been with males. I suspect that those men who regard themselves as pure gay, or close to it today, with a strong drive, probably had some experience with women -- social pressure is so great -- and probably would have thought of themselves as bisexual. But later in life, when it became clear to them where their true desire was focused, have shifted exclusively, or near so, to relationships with men.

[@roxytocin_216]

I'm pansexual, but I just want to point out that asexual, aromantic and aroace people exist. So no, not all people have the capacity to be bisexual and/or biromantic. Ace people are probably more of a minority than bi+ folks, but they are still valid and worthy of inclusion in discussions on the sexual orientation topic

[@notdefining]

Absolutely. As a bi ace person personally this is very important.

[@colonelweird]

I only found your channel a few days ago, and I've already watched many of your videos. You've given me insights into being bi that I hadn't yet fully grasped. I'm especially interested in understanding why it's so hard being bi, and how monosexual culture imposes norms and practices on everyone, and thus makes life harder for us than it needs to be. I used to think I could ignore being bi, but the more time goes by, the more I realize there are deep ways that I experience the world that don't match what most people experience. Much of our society is built around a particular understanding of the differences between men and women, and what it means for them to be attracted to one another. But now I'm seeing why that has never felt right to me, even when I was in relationships with women. I can't just ignore that my inner experience of romantic/sexual attraction doesn't match what most of the world tells me it should be. All of this makes me think there should be an ethics and a politics of being bi -- we should be in opposition of heteronormativity, which is also harmful for straight people (and of course gay people too). I've started wondering what it would look like for society to be based on a queer ethos, where anyone could in principle be attracted to anyone else, and relationships would come into being on that basis, rather than on the basis of an assumed conformity to a male/female binary. In practice, people could still be straight, gay, bi, or something in between, or none of the above. But it could all be normal. That's the kind of world I would want to live in. Maybe the politics of bisexuality is a topic you could discuss in a video? Regardless, thanks for inspiring these thoughts.

[@icreatedanaccountforthis1852]

Thanks for this very clear explanation.

[@notdefining]

You are welcome!

[@pearlwooton7669]

I am not bisexual or pansexual. I admit both exist but I am not going to deceive myself into leaving the gate open. I am exclusively homosexual in attraction. That’s it. No more discussion as far as MY orientation. However, I am always there to be supportive for those on any part of the spectrum of attraction and gender identification. As long as it is consensual. As long as one is true to themselves, have at it.

[@bobby1970]

Thanks, and I really appreciate you saying all that. I'm glad to hear you say that you support/accept us bisexual men. We absolutely 100% support and accept all of you truly gay men out there. I'm actually not that far away from being a true homosexual myself. I'm definitely almost gay, and I think it would be cool if I was. I would absolutely accept it. There's nothing at all wrong with homosexuality or bisexuality. I love the LGBTQ+ community/family. We all have our preferences and we all like what we like. We are sexual beings.

[@pearlwooton7669]

@@bobby1970 I don’t to a bisexual supporting organization. They work towards visibility and helping others understand the unique prejudices that bisexuals experience. I have had crushes on females in high school but never anything sexual. Men on the other hand, I had both sexual and romantic attraction towards. It just never felt natural to me to be with a woman. Even trans women before they even admitted their struggles and still presented as male. I somehow could tell their true gender.

[@akirahimurakinakiyama7395]

Not me I’m just gay but I feel like there’s a good chance people could be more bisexual

[@bobbyf.2327]

I am a guy and I had sexual relations with most of the guys I knew growing up. Many of them on a regular basis. Most of them eventually married women. I have lost contact with most of them because I moved away, but I believe that most dudes are bisexual. It is only when they were told that it was wrong did they stop. I am sure several of them continue to seek men even though they are married whether through porn or otherwise.

[@ColinJohnson-hb3jf]

I write fantasy porn stories for a particular fetish community, and although I personally define myself as "gay" I write stories from both the male/male perspective and the female/male perspective. I have no idea why, other than I simply fine both appealing. So, I guess I'm gay for real life and bisexual for the fetish genre that I write for.

[@wareforcoin5780]

I'll accept book bi as a subspecies.

[@PokhrajRoy.]

On an unrelated note, the nail artist is fierce. 💅

[@notdefining]

Omg thank you. That means me in my kitchen doing it myself with a bottle of cheap drug store polish is fierce! Thanks.

[@bobby1970]

​@@notdefiningYou have very nice looking hands, regardless. I would love holding hands with you in public.

[@ouranos0101]

I think most people are a bit bisexual, and I think sexuality is fluid and can change to some degree based on circumstance. This is anecdotal based on my personal sexual experiences with thousands of people.

[@Mal_Outdoors]

I'm 100% gay and have been all my life. My body has never responded in anyway on those few occasions when I was naked with a female.

[@BrucePGrether]

With all due respect, what people say about their sexuality, even thinking it is totally confidential, is unreliable. A great deal of conditioning and social/cultural pressure surrounds the subject. Not too long ago, may thinkers felt that sexual orientation and gender identity was largely determined by genetics. We now know this is untrue. Current evidence suggests that most such orientations and identity derives almost exclusively from very early experience, often unremembered. Also, very early conditioning, which creates beliefs around self and others. The role of neurological "imprints" may also turn out to be crucial. If you doubt this, look at various cultures where strong beliefs that are very different are geld, and people experience sexuality in different ways. For example, in Ancient Greece, the classic Athenian society was not our idea of a "gay utopia." Not at all. It was believed that same-sex relations between men of the same age were wrong. But married men who owned property and slaves and also had sex with their wives were expected to sponsor younger men's education and development. They also often had erotic relations with this younger fellows. Nobody had invented the idea of being gay or bisexual, but those varieties of behavior were experienced. Some tribal groups have had beliefs that differed even further from this model concept of sexuality. IMO (and I've only studied human sexuality now for 60+ years) most sexual orientation and identity arises from strongly acquired beliefs, due to very early conditioning and possibly imprinting. Change the beliefs around sexual activities strongly enough, and I think you will see what people experience changes. - BPG

[@bobby1970]

I honestly believe that most people are bisexual, to a certain extent. Unfortunately, most men won't admit to it, but they should. I came out as bisexual a couple of years ago at age 51. I'm almost completely gay.

[@gabrielgarciamartin8660]

You are gay

[@davidharry9390]

NO. Pass on the V.

[@PokhrajRoy.]

7:22 FACTS WERE DROPPED

[@GTO20122012]

It’s common to think that other people share the same sexual orientation or at least a little ….. even tho the evidence says otherwise. I can say with 100% certainty that I am only attracted to the same sex and sleeping with the opposite sex has never crossed my mind 😎

[@notdefining]

Totally yes we must avoid projecting our experiences onto others. 100% many peoples orientations are fixed and exclusive to one gender.

[@user-ei7rs1vo9c]

I did kiss a girl once but knew it was not for me

[@termitesc.aardwolf3644]

I mean, I'm aromantic asexual in real life yet have a practical harem of fictional cartoon animal crushes (mostly male but also a few female ones) so I kinda am bisexual in a sense, just not bisexual in this physical concrete world but in fantasy land.

[@notdefining]

You sound like my kind of person

[@TheSapphireLeo]

Maybe same, but did you mean anime and/or furry? 😂

[@AnnieLevy-li2wn]

I wanted to ask if receptive attraction turns into proceptive attraction once one realises they might also have an attraction for the less prefered gender, under specific circumstances, and wish to act upon it now. That part was a bit confusing for me, considering I do identify as bisexual, but only because I recently fell in love with a woman, after 30 years of believing I was straight or, at least, mostly straight.

[@notdefining]

Yes sexuality can be fluid for many people and is found to be more so in women. Bisexuality can either develop or be discovered or emerge from experiences depending on the person. Your experience is 100% natural and valid.

[@abdullahyasser7402]

My cousin is a 100% Homosexual(female) not ever felt slight attraction towards men !

[@MillennialJesus]

omg, i love your nails 👁💅👁

[@notdefining]

Thank you so much

[@bensbarbaro6021]

Netflix's Baby Reindeer is a study in evoling receptive gay attraction. Amazing acting in this true story.

[@Krishicher]

I’m a card-carrying Kinsey 6 (never even kissed a female). More or less I put women on a pedestal (like Cher or Dolly or Kim F. In sixth grade). I don’t want to be on the pedestal. I’m happy two meters down.

[@bobby1970]

I'm about a 5 on the Kinsey scale, so I definitely prefer men sexually.

[@Krishicher]

Your partners are lucky. You’re smart and attractive.

[@bluenethicite6430]

It was never a question of yes or no

[@tomstarwalker]

I have a theory based on a couple of decades of empirical observation during my adult life: according to the about 80% of women are gay or bisexual while about 20% of men are. Out of the gay and bisexual men the pareto rule gets inverted: I think there's 3 bottoms for each top. I myself am straight.

[@BBWahoo]

Well when I see you, I know I am.

[@bobby1970]

He's definitely attractive and sexy. I wish I had a relationship with him. You know, a good friend with benefits.

[@user-mf6li4sw6n]

No, I’m 100% homosexual.

[@hans-jorg-io1is]

God job! But let me tell you one thing : We know these things and we should live and not thinking about too much about it. I really it is all about what other people could think.

[@StephenTurnerVlogs]

Where did you get your stats?

[@notdefining]

YouGov, Kinsey Institute, Lancaster University, University of Utah, the work of Dr Lisa M Diamond and national censuses among other sources.

[@JaneChristensen.]

This may be a regional difference in language, but when I google proceptive vs receptive, I get back a different meaning that what I'm hearing here. Proceptive and receptive are described as initiating behaviour (for sex) and receptive behaviour as the ok lets go at it signal. If on the other hand I google "proceptive attraction vs receptive attraction" I get back spontaneous vs reponsive and a meaning that sounds closer to what is talked about in the video?

[@notdefining]

Yes the meaning is different when we are talking about the specific scientific terms related to arousal. So not quite the same as spontaneous and responsive.

[@darinl848]

according to the Kinsey study, yes.

[@JuanLopez-tp7hj]

Love the nails

[@notdefining]

Omg thanks

[@pprehn5268]

Depends on the number of beers and viagras.

[@user-ms6ml3xs3b]

🌈

[@notdefining]

Hey thanks for the rainbow 🌈

[@user-ms6ml3xs3b]

@@notdefining you're welcome

[@alexkx8599]

You look nice with your nails!

[@odonnelly46]

I estimate that at least 25% of Americans are LGBT with Bisexuals being the largest group by far. Keep in mind that a recent survey of Generation Y showed 31% of them saying they were LGBT, with 54% of the LGBT group saying they were Bisexual.

[@PoppedAndFlopped]

Most people in LGBTQ are gay

[@bobby1970]

That sounds awesome.

[@johnanderson3700]

Sexuality is a very complex issue with many facets. It has to do with more than the sexual act. I think too often we dismiss the broad range of sexual feelings which include emotional as well as physical aspects of our being. 😊

[@elagabalusrex390]

Probably. Humans are complex animals with spectrums and nuances, not black and white yin and yang symbols.

[@slickandslaycious6579]

How are they thinking about the labels in the beginning, because they didn't add up to 100%

[@notdefining]

Exactly.

[@jonhinson5701]

I think there is a greater degree of sexual fluidity in people then we'd like to admit but some so called straight men would go bat shit crazy at this idea.There is such a strong tatoo that still exists about both bi and gay male sexuality and fluidity .

[@Gitta74]

Is the opposite sex forbidden word now?

[@notdefining]

Not a forbidden word, but normally a lot of people in our community would use “different gender” or “other gender” because genetically there are many more than 2 sexes and you also don’t know someone’s sex unless you have a microscope and a sample of their genes. But you can say it and people will know what you mean. It’s okay.

[@notdefining]

Not a forbidden word, but normally a lot of people in our community would use “different gender” or “other gender” because genetically there are many more than 2 sexes and you also don’t know someone’s sex unless you have a microscope and a sample of their genes. But you can say it and people will know what you mean. It’s okay.

[@M-CH_]

Makes me wonder: how does proceptive and receptive attraction both translate to capacity for partnered sex? I'm asking from the perspective of a lifetime asexual, who used to have - at a point in my life - sexual reactions to just one sex, but no inclination (and as life has shown - no capacity either) for partnered sex - including no dreams of an intercourse ever.

[@michaelbarrett1783]

No

[@NC-vz6ui]

I don't believe the statistics are accurate to begin with. We live in situation of repression and oppression. People are not going to be honest. I believe it falls on a spectrum and the majority are Bi with exclusives falling on the ends of the spectrum. I believe it has also contributed to the idea of sexuality being a choice.

[@jeffreyerickson6766]

I like you

[@mikedowning4869]

Sexuality Coach ? Talk about luxury beliefs, this is a luxury occupation 😅

[@notdefining]

I love my work, though luxury wouldn’t be the term I would use myself. Almost all of my clients are severely traumatised and at any given time I will be supporting several people through suicide. You may have got slightly the wrong end of the stick. That’s okay though. I know it’s not a very common title. I support people with complex challenges related to their sexuality. It’s a major issue and I’m constantly fully booked. I wish I wasn’t but there aren’t many people who can really connect with the complexity that I have experience with. Luxury is also not a bad thing. It is a luxury to do what you love. I hope that helps to explain it a bit

[@jacobzeier]

Most people, 73% of them throughout the world, are bisexual to some degree, myself included. I am gay-leaning bisexual; I select men over women. Bisexuality does not equal 50% gay/50% straight! That is rare. Bisexuality is a spectrum which frequently fluctuates. 90% straight/10% gay for example is a form of bisexuality. I’m not buying the “statistic” that 90% of people in the world are straight. Those people are probably lying to you; they are too scared to tell the truth. Obviously, it is wrong but also unnecessary to claim your sexual behaviors publicly. That’s not what I’m talking about. What I’m suggesting is that everyone, if they are brave and honest enough, could claim they are bisexual to a degree. Some people are only gay or lesbian, no question about it. But it angers me when people, especially men, are too cowardly to let people know how they think and how they feel. It makes me more upset when men have done or say they have done sexual behaviors with other men, either directly or indirectly, but they deny they are bisexual and dismiss sexual categories as “meaningless belittling labels.” No, they aren’t. Sexuality is not that complicated like many people claim it to be.

[@thaijose1]

Everyone NOT I am NO, I only a gay man

[@barryledgister4496]

Exactly, if someone did a video `is every gay man a bit straight, it would be seen as opening the door to conversion therapy at worst, or certainly denying homosexuality esixts. This is obviously aimed at trying to recruit straight people into the LGBTQ+ which is a bit pointless. Straight men want women, straight women want men. No doubt some people experiment, but that`s all it is.

[@carlorizzo827]

ThankU! Like how you explain things. Well, I'm bi. Would be easier to be monosexual. One doctor wrote "We're all born bi-potential" I'm really a schizo-sexual guffaw. Some extreme ptsd... ahem. Good discussion of romantic/sexual paradigm sic. I have a lot of str8 guy friends, I'm totally hands-off. The love of str8 male friends is sweet precisely because it's devoid of the carnal vibe

[@steves9905]

romantic VS sexual attraction...I always thought that what made me gay (a gold star gay!) was that my romantic completion is with the male spirit/energy. Given the right scene or amount of alcohol I could probably have sex with anybody but my sense of emotional connection is with another male, even if no sex is involved - although typically there is some sexual tension there. Kind of backwards to what you describe here. For instance, I just don't think I could have a close, emotional domestic life with a woman...my brain shuts off at the thought of it. So not a bisexual?? In the end I don't really care as I'm very fortunate to live in a liberal area where everyone is mostly free to be who they are.

[@smokerevenant894]

Your cute

[@renzinthewoods]

I think we are basically sexual with a primary (often exclusive) orientation. However, as curious and performative individuals in the context of cultural influences experiment beyond their primary orientation. Now add in “attraction” and it gets a bit muddy. As an exclusively gay man, one time in college at a party I started to “make out” with this adorable young woman. The best thing was the look on the face of this gal who was witness to the mashing and was completely confused, as she knew I was gay. Another young woman freshman year did not believe I was gay when she was told by someone, “He can’t be gay, he kisses too well!”

[@deeringkendrick8388]

love the nails

[@javieroliveras344]

Yessss

[@chadvanderlinden9548]

It seems problematic to describe a "bisexual spectrum". Because the condition of bisexuality is met simply by being capable of attraction to either sex. Being more attracted to one sex does not make one more or less bisexual. I feel nothing but sympathy for those bisexuals who are simply unable to conclude that they are bisexual. Our current, primative cultural climate makes the question impossible to resolve. The predjudices and traditional sex roles drilled into our children's heads are stronger than reason and science. But I would bet my life that if we raised our young free of predudice and without knowledge of "sexual orientation" that virtually all of them would exhibit bisexual orientation their entire lives. And, "bisexuality" being the core orientation when one is free of compulsion to conform to other behaviour, then it makes the notions of heterosexuality and homosexuality into exceptions from the normal. And I doubt that heterosexuals or homosexuals in a bisexualnormative culture would suffer like LGB do today, since they would never be prohibited from partnering with someone compatible with them.

[@sophiapangloss2149]

The only scientific, objective basis for sexuality involves 2 participants and their respective sex, from that comes homosexuality or heterosexuality. In one person on their own, everything is subjective, including their 'identification' and their behaviour, they will be sensitive to myriad biological, social, developmental and cultural influences, everyone has a unique journey and is a unique person etc etc. There are 2 sexes, there are 2 sexualities, homosexuality and heterosexuality and some people are either and some people are both, some people would say they are neither and that's fine too, but if we're talking about objective bases, it only works when 2 entities are involved, when 2 people interact, that's the way to best understand those words. In people there are plenty of subjective understandings and bases for sexualities, all of the sexualities, but that's why the answer to the question is so difficult to pin down, you won't find an objective basis for any of this in 7 billion human beings, everyone hears a different question.

[@ashio4365]

Did not know there were two types of sexual attraction. That explains the one situation in my life that confused me I definitely felt receptive attraction there. I'm aroace and only experienced romantic attraction once and never proceptive attraction. Those 2 times I felt the attraction wasn't for the same person. Even for being ace my sexuality is complicated. I'm some one who's more likely to get a crush on an anime character over a person. However somewhere in my brain a disconnect happens where even though I like them I wouldn't want to date or have sex with them. At some point I discovered BL (Boys Love) and was hooked. I think that's because I was born female the only type of relationships that allow for the disconnect are the gay ones so those are the only one's my brain allows me to enjoy. So anytime I like one of these anime men I'll ship him with another man from the anime instead of imagining him with myself. Also I would consider myself mostly straight I've never had a crush on a real life woman but have for 2 anime women but there's still no romantic or sexual attraction there.

[@michaelthomas3821]

so, like, i'm super gay. not in a flaming kind of way, but with sexual attraction it's all boys. but even within that said, i'm mostly attracted to gay guys who are comfortable in their skin about being gay and don't care how others perceive them (i had to get over a lot of internalized homophobia quick because of that). if you look at my profile pic, my husband on the left is not somebody most people would id as straight in the wild even though he likes some pretty straight-stereotyped things (his love of heavy metal, ugh). i'm not sure that even in a receptive way i'd be, uh, receptive. it's actually never happened to me and there is probably a reason: i'd be so uncomfortable that it wouldn't get that far. as far as romantically, i'm really not sure. i've never had the stereotypical girl best friends or anything like that and i've never sought them out. i'm happy to be friends with girls but i just don't think of them in a romantic way -- it would never even occur to me. i have no issue feeling romantic to other guys even though i know it's not like it means shacking up or some poly-whatever. i try to visualize myself trapped in the 50's and whether i could put up the facade of heterosexuality and finding a girl i could feel romance with, and can't really see it. i'm pretty sure i'd be miserable on both fronts, but who knows -- even though i came of age in the 70's it was never something i felt i needed to consider. so does that falsify your second point? i'm not sure but i suspect it says something that i've never put myself into the position where it might get tested. it's not like i consciously avoid being in that situation, but maybe there's something going on in my subconscious that makes it moot. on another note, i haven't looked through your other vids but have you considered doing something on the (false) masc/fem axis? it really drives me crazy that it's so ingrained in the popular gay imagination but it doesn't fit any reality i've ever witnessed. most gay guys are not "fem" in the classic sense, even super gay ones. heck neither are most girls. same for "masc". for gay guys i can say that it seems much more on an axis of "fagginess". that is, it seems to me that it's much more about openness to being thought gay or not when people don't know you. or something like that. the intersection of internalized homophobia is obvious on the guilt-by-association front. it may have some elements of what is thought traditional femininity but i feel that's rather ancillary. whatever the right formulation is, i think the masc/fem axis in gay culture is really toxic.

[@harrygordon6205]

Tuned out when I saw the blue nail polish

[@notdefining]

Hey no problem. Have a fab day.

[@tarajiomutelekesya8908]

No we are not

[@TheAlmacias]

No. It’s now trendy to be lgbt, so we have a bunch of straight people calling themselves bi or queer (whatever that means) because being straight is so booooring. Then there are gays who call themselves bi, because they feel it’s more socially acceptable than full blown homosexuality; I was one of those. I believe bisexuals exist, but I’m always skeptical when I hear someone declaring himself to be bi.

[@notdefining]

Imagine I said: “I believe being gay is not a choice but I’m always skeptical when someone says they’re gay”. That’s what you’re saying about our community. Please I know there’s lots of reasons to have that view but we need our own community not to feed into the biphobia. Please. Thank you for listening.

[@fortynine3225]

There is no 100% this or 100% that. You can be totally hetero and in certain personal situation fall in love with same sex person accidentaly.There are also statistics about bi-sex stuff where a huge percentage in the end chooses to be hetero. To some their sex is totally import, to some it is not a big deal so they would have no problem with bi-sex. Ultimately one choses what one is comfortable with, those to who it is not a big deal might make a practical choise. Other than that each brain is different and each life situation is different.

[@user-lw5yk4vj9o]

Speaking for myself, NO.

[@jungersrules]

I’m a straight female who find only men physically attractive. However, I think if I met someone, a woman, who infiltrated my soul and stirred me to fall in love … I think I could be physically intimate. I recently discovered BL shows. I’ve never been turned on sexually so much in my life. Let’s say my juices have been flowing constantly for the last two weeks. I’ve never been interested in gay men love stories or porn, and white gay men still don’t interest me. Even though I’ve never been attracted to Asian men growing up (I’m Asian, but growing up in the states I only found white guys attractive), but I’ve done a 180 and now notice only Asian men. They say the BLs are written by mostly women, and those I’ve seen seem to be directed mostly by women. I’m still kind of confused as to why I’m so turned on by to Asian men falling in love, but I find it is also motivating me to improve myself. I’m just riding the love wave with even being in love myself, lol.