How to Respond to Offensive Comments at Work | Effective Communication Skills Training Lesson

[@TheWizardOfWords]

HEY MY FRIENDS: If these videos are having a positive impact on you, please show your support by becoming a CHANNEL MEMBER and/or clicking the THANKS BUTTON above and leaving a little love. A little love will allow me to continue delivering these videos directly to you!

[@persiusk]

Dan I want to thank you. You helped me learn the skills I needed to handle a difficult situation with a coworker. She was talking about me behind my back and I heard it. I confronted her directly and told her I would not tolerate her gossiping and being unprofessional. We have been getting along much better and I feel like now she knows that I insist on being respected. Thank you so much for your videos.

[@MelissaJMJ]

I remember these lessons because you mix humor with sensibility. God bless you Dan.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Thank you for the blessing, Faith, and God bless you too.

[@tiffize4560]

I LOVE your communication techniques; they have helped me in very difficult situations! I would love to watch your older videos but the sound quality can be extremely difficult to hear you. Have you considered recreating past videos with better sound and picture quality?

[@jaywellington6504]

Amazed on how effective and helpful all of your advice is. It's realistic, helpful and humorous. aka perfection. You sir, have perfected the art of effective communication. Thank you for sharing it with us. You've changed my life.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Hey Jay! Have you seen part 2 yet? If not, I wanted to let you know it's out! Thank yiu for taking the time to support us... You makes a big diffeeence in our lives. I ppreciate it. Dan

[@emilieflagg1715]

I’m so glad I recently discovered your channel. You’re incredibly helpful and talented and I thank you for sharing your skills w/ us !!

[@EugeneAxe]

This is excellent advice for teachers dealing with students who are being inappropriate.

[@morgyntaith8890]

Perfectly assembled! I'm so grateful to have found your channel.

[@roxannazales4960]

You’re amazing and a great teacher. Thanks for insight.

[@haulk2001]

this guru knows what he is teaching about . kudos! and i like his integrity and wisdom as a person . a strong character and core

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Thank you miracle; that is humbling high praise. Dan

[@holguinjeanine]

You are refreshingly different than other coaches, with regard to standing confident and expressing myself without the self-doubt that has always plagued me. I LOVE that you address how to stand, sound...the whole sha-bang, not ONLY the phrases to say. I am dealing with a co-worker that cannot stop commenting on my body or looking me up and down and just being a pig....I cannot WAIT to watch more and put it into action!!!

[@TheWizardOfWords]

YOU GO, JEANINE! :) :)

[@OliviaBeille]

You're awesome! I'm still building up the nerves to just stands to anybody, I'm not yet to skills. But hey, your videos really makes me believe that harmonious communication is achievable, which I lacked a lot of in my family/past. So thanks a lot, you're a great help.

[@harikalatheeswaran9206]

Sir your videos are awesome and great. Thanks a lot for all your hard work you put in to make such quality videos on effective communication. Really grateful to you. Take care and have a great day 😊! Keep rocking!

[@xan8185]

I wish I could get the courage to foward this to my boss who needs to be more firm with some of the entitled and insensitive people I work with!

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Well, send his email to me at [e-mail] and Jean will just forward it along to him. Easypeasy. Dan

[@69LOLIN]

xan8185 Is he/she not to be offended?

[@avelineb8239]

@@TheWizardOfWords seriously Dan would you do this lol? We have major issues at my workplace...

[@stablecircleh]

"Savory little treat in the afternoon". LMAO 😂😂😂😂

[@redfuse8369]

I love his little video edits and fun sounds he throws in the video 😂 Rudy ruderson, savory little treat, the voice change to this deep malicious voice to mimic someone at work 😂😂😂

[@brendam6828]

ie The standard we walk past is the standard we accept. Don’t be that guy who implies he agrees by remaining silent.

[@yoyoyo5621]

Thank you

[@arkansasdiaries]

what an amazing room transformation!! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@milagroseureste]

Just what I was looking for. Thanks so much for sharing. 👍

[@TheWizardOfWords]

My pleasure.

[@rameswese7723]

Hi Dan, again another amazing video how to unblock your self and deliver a life-changing message. i will teach my kids to watch your channel to be a role-model and make the world a better place!

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Having your kids watch this channel is the highest compliment you could pay me, Rame. Thank you! Dan

[@ShiaGirl18]

You're awesome! Thank you so much for your content. I really appreciate the practical strategies.

[@beautiful.life1396]

Love this! Great suggestion on practicing. I struggle getting my point across because I come off as judgmental. I really needed this video!

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Thanks Heather. Please check out many others; hopefully they'll be helpful as well. Dan

[@morganmoore51]

So glad I found you...ideas on covert passive aggressive narcissist. Which I’ve found is the worst and most manipulative and dangerous. Please,please help me.

[@idontknowwhatmyusernamesho5540]

how are you now?

[@christinebeames2311]

You are so right , all it takes for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing !

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Yes, and we're seeing far too much of that lately.

[@MegaTinni]

Good strategy. Thank you Dan.

[@Jpow915]

Great video! I kept waiting to hear the rest of the sentence concerning the report. This report is to be completed and submitted to me by 3pm. Would that be a clear & proper way of communicating that request?

[@gemmaedejapa5567]

Yeahh.Here I am again.Thank you so much for the wonderful advices you have shared.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Glad to have you back Gemmae. You're welcome for the videos and I intend to keep them coming, if you do your part, which is to like and share :)

[@adrianaboga8361]

Love your sense of humor. 🧡😁🧡

[@christineangelharris-james3252]

What consequences could you take ahaha parent or adult child or spouse? You have to follow through? Love your advice xx

[@discoplate]

love your videos ; sound quality with headphones on (and when played aloud from tablet) is very tinny

[@SydMountaineer]

What's ridiculous, is that most people are too fearful to speak back to someone who makes such comments. But their fears are unfounded, as most bosses would not fire someone for responding with the truth "that language is not tolerated here." And they don't realize that the bully has zero fears about what they say, so why should someone else be fearful of speaking up to that behavior. Americans have been taught to not speak up, no matter the situation. Like how Dan points out, it's important to not make it personal, as in "I feel offended by your comment" because if you do that, the bully will make it about your "sensitivities". In a work or any situation, it's important to point out such behavior, as you're protecting others who would be bullied by this bully. Speaking up helps others yo not tolerate this behavior, too.

[@williampowell3378]

Excellent!

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Many thanks!

[@mindscapereality1173]

In my experience, when talking to people aggressively like this, it just doesn't bring good outcomes. By confronting it so directly, you leave them no space to save face. Throwing a good intention their way before you tell them to stop can be effective... e.g. 'I know that you are actually quite an inclusive person and don't really mean the things you're saying, but saying these things in the workplace ...even in jest... is not acceptable. My point is that you could get yourself into serious trouble if you talk like this. Its up to you, but I'm trying to look out for you and going to ask you to stop. ' I'm not saying being direct wouldn't work, it likely would but it often happens at the expense of others distancing themselves and becoming isolated. Suddenly you might find people criticising your performance and whether you come back perfectly on time for your break. It is the way the world works....

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Hi Mindscape. I understand your point and thank you for posting. If the person to whom you are speaking is someone known to you--and really is a generally mindful and inclusive person, I think your approach is a good one. Having said that--it's my experience that most people who make racist, bigoted or sexist comments are not generally mindful people, and the best approach is a direct one. And Yes, these same people, because of who they are, will look for petty ways to retaliate. In general, I completely agree that if you are in a position where you must correct someone the softer approach, affording them a way out is by far the best approach. But when dealing with bigots, racists, mean-spirited people who have no limits--I'd establish firm boundaries and make sure they know there are consequences for their words (in the workplace). Dan

[@mindscapereality1173]

Effective Communication Skills With Dan O'Connor I have been thinking about this reply since I read it yesterday. It is very difficult to categorise approaches because so much is situational. I can see valid contexts where being aggressive may give good results but as you eluded to in your reply the type of hate speech has to be on the more extreme end of the spectrum. Like martial artists who never practice against resisting opponents, I think people may underestimate how quickly others can reframe your aggression and change the minds of third parties. Usually people who are capable of such offensiveness are also usually more comfortable dealing with confrontation than your average Joe. I've always believed the more offensive and despicable the individual, the more respectful you should be in handling them. If you have to threaten, you should do so with integrity and refer to your response in a external way. Saying there will be severe consequences is fine if you have the power to fire them but if all you can do is report them, you can't say with absolute certainty that it would result in any consequence because those decisions are not yours to make. It make people think you are weak trying to be strong. You would be better to say, 'If you continue to talk in this way, you will leave me little choice but to report you'. A warning on something you can truthfully follow through on is how a boundary is set. If you cannot follow through, there is no boundary.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Hi Mindscape: The assumption of this video is that you are working for a company with set boundaries, and you are victim to their being crossed, and you know the procedures for handling hate speech. I agree that if there are no protocols in your company, you have to take a different path altogether, and it should start with going to HR to ask that appropriate protocols be implemented. If you are ignored, I would begin to wonder if you are with the right company.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Mindscape, in the situation as you described it, I think the management sigh might be inevitable Two people don't like each other. They attack each other (probably regularly and in front of others, expecting them to "take sides"?) Then one goes to management about the other and asks management to "take sides." It sounds chaotic and unproductive to me, and I can't imagine how any work gets done with all these personal discussions going on. This is a failure of management to provide clear guidelines about private conversations in the workplace, and the ultimate result will be a lot of sighing.

[@missread5932]

seems like this is a good answer for my above question

[@richardromano8128]

And this brings back memories unfortunately when I was working I'm retired now there was a girl around my age I'd say in our 30s and she was much like a man and always was nasty with a big mouth pretty much all the employees were afraid of her of course this went on for years ... she like picking on me...... so one day I pretty much let things roll over my shoulders but I wasn't in a good mood and she started on me and I unfortunately had to cause a terrible scene with my mouth......... I couldn't. Repeat the words I said to her... and. I giggled when you were mentioning people's eyes. she screamed my eyes they look like the eyes of the devil she ran like hell... unfortunately I had to bring out my worst side which most people don't see and they were quite shocked .....she was afraid to even look at me from then on let alone say anything to me. My co-workers were saying they never had the nerve to do what I did and they wanted to so many times... some people you just cannot handle in a Stern or polite way it doesn't work. I have even heard of people leaving their jobs because of someone like her or him and it is terrible.. And thank you so much for bringing up this topic

[@klewis9152]

I love your videos!!!! I use the advice

[@littlemule1]

your awesome! thank you. I need all the help I can get

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Don't we all!

[@KARENK72886]

Thanks, this is the best. I appreciate the methods given! :) Namaste.

[@justChrisjones]

Teacher training, thanks

[@keithlumbee]

Dude. Great videos. If you fix your audio levels it will be even better

[@myozbubble]

This is the perfect strategy! I was going to write you about something very similar. It's not in an office setting but in our neighborhood. There is a guy that makes it his goal to be sexually (mostly but he is racist and homophobic as well) offensive to everyone. He's a 60 year old divorcee with a 10 year old boy sense of 'humor'. He thinks he is an expert in everything. He can be a smooth talker but, most have seen through it. No one wanted to come to our July 4th neighborhood picnic because he lives right there. So, we moved it and had it by invite. He invited himself. I chose not to go once he RSVP'd he was attending and what covered dish he was bringing. I wanted to tell him he wasn't invited however, my husband persuaded me to just not attend rather than making a scene and ruining the picnic. He hasn't spoken to me since as another neighbor told him why I didn't attend. But, I know he can't hold out for long. When I'm sitting outside with my neighbors and he comes along and starts with his shenanigans, what should I do? Last time, I just said 'I'm done'. and went home.

[@myozbubble]

Thank you, Miss Melle. Those are the words I will use. He knows I don't care for him because he doesn't stop by when I'm sitting on my porch. He just keeps on walking. My husband is on the ready if the guy starts up with his inappropriate talk in front of me. I asked my husband to tell him to not talk like that in front of his wife (me) like that. Good grief, we are all over 50!! Someone needs to grow up! Have a great day, Miss Melle!

[@dylanakent]

Great video BUT what if you work for a place with no such training or agreement? What if as an employee you have no idea what the policy is or if HR will actually do something about it? What if the training is implemented as an afterthought, like a Starbucks situation? What if the offender is the boss or the manager? I've worked in places like that. I've worked in small family businesses where EVERYTHING is done on the fly and zero thought is given to such situations. I like your "I won't be a party to this" line of thought. Many businesses, particularly small businesses don't put much energy into these potential situations. I learn so much from your videos but you might want to do another one that addresses the offensive owner or an HR dept that doesn't respond well.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

I'll give that some thought, Dylan. But let me address one issue quickly. If you work in a company that is larger than mom and pop--and you don't know what HR would do in these situations, go to HR and ask for the policies--in writing--so you know where you stand. If these policies don't exist, they SHOULD, and you should ask HR to develop them immediately before a legal issue arises. Every business should have policies in place regarding harassment in the workplace. If they don't, they can be in significant legal jeopardy. (BTW, if Starbucks doesn't have these policies in place, there will be NO excuse if an employee is harassed and has no recourse but to sue. Good luck to any major corporation whose HR personnel are sleeping on the job). Work places have laws governing them and it would behoove owners to know what they are BEFORE an incident occurs. Dan

[@BurntPopcorns]

What if it is mom and pop shop and most everyone is involved

[@ymReal]

Love your videos!

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Glad you like them, Ahany. I hope you continue to like--and please share!

[@missread5932]

could you pleas give an example of when the " i feel...when you...." sentence structure is appropriate in comparison to your example here. 'The i feel when you.." is suggested in many books too. Love your videos thanx big fan

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Hi miss read: the difference is that in this situation you see that this person is not going to change because he/she is essentially and by choice a bigot or a racist or sexist. So you take appropriate action in the workplace. You act swiftly and firmly and make it clear that the behavior won't be tolerated (in your workplace).HOWEVER, if a person is making hurtful or inappropriate comments without intending to be hurtful, you use the hamburger--"when you . . . I feel . . . because." You do this in the belief that the individual, when learning that the behavior is hurtful, will STOP. Generally you know when someone is acting out of character and thoughtlessness (use the hamburger), as opposed someone who to acting disrespectfully deliberately because he/she is getting a reward from the bad behavior (use the more forceful technique).

[@makisgaines283]

Oh man, how I would watch a video on how you came to be one of the best charismatic communicators.....please make it happen!

[@barbarasmith6005]

Thus would only work if you're a boss or supervisor.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Have you tried it, Barbara?

[@Izkapts]

The way you talked about people sitting idly by as bad things happen touched my heart. I advocate for all animals, I wish they would live in peace with humans, but sadly most of us just passively accept their systematic exploitation and massacre for food, clothing, entertainment (zoos), product testing and many other purposes although there are plenty of nonviolent, compassionate alternatives available. The world would be a much kinder place if we all cared. Do you agree?

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Yes. Having just brought a dog to the vet to be euthanized after a bus hit him and left him to die in the middle of the road--I totally agree.

[@heatherh6197]

Thank you for your videos x 🙌✨

[@abirdietoldme4102]

I would like to know how to respond to someone who is saying offensive comments/remarks outside of the work environment. Especially when I do not wish to continue engagement with them. To give some context: A woman (stranger) began making insinuating remarks about workers of the nail salon I was in. I was uncomfortable and without words. It became painfully clear that the reason this woman decided she could come up to me and casually make insinuations was that I was the only other Caucasian looking person in the room.

[@jaclynh9343]

Love your videos... I am curious, how does one deal with coworkers who swear frequently? I have sparked a convo about it however it was brushed off by the office bully who sees no issue with it even though she says she doesn't; swear in front of patients, that clearly demonstrates they know it's not appropriate.

[@spaceodditee8962]

I had a question! What if you over hear these comments and are not necessarily in the person’s immediate vicinity? Like a partially open concept office (with half a wall)?

[@alfieautomaton2265]

Great video and helpful content. Love the sound effects:-)

[@marysemaryla8797]

Very good advice as usual but the sound effects seem a bit childish don't you think?

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Hi Maryse: It's a matter of perspective. I see them as fun.

[@SarahRejsa-oi6bq]

I joined the channel yesterday. Do I get the free professional starter kit? if so how do I get it ?

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Write Jean at [e-mail] and she'll get the link to you, Sarah.

[@SarahRejsa-oi6bq]

@@TheWizardOfWords Thank you! Will do tomorrow!

[@treacheroustiger5571]

Wow, what a great video. I wish I had known this years ago. Dan, you're really inspiring me to do better in my communication. I just bought your book off Amazon 💰📚🤓

[@canoli1978]

I would not be able to say that at work because I am always low on the totem poles. For example in the national Guard, most people in any room out rank me and I would be laughed at, at best.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

The military is a unique situation; I'll give you that, Canoli. However, there is Maddog Mattis, who would appreciate this type of communication, as opposed to a few others I could name :( :()

[@thenewyorkcitizen]

What to do about coworkers who constantly point out what you haven't done instead of focusing on what has been done?

[@janicekennedy2047]

:(. Every time I hit the 2nd button it comes up “page cannot be found”

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Thanks for the heads-up, Janice. I'll get that fixed.

[@mellamell7441]

What if you work somewhere where there are no consequences for offensives like that?

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Seek new employment, Mella.

[@kkkkkkkkkk955]

Dan, can you make that into audio button so we can buy? hahaha

[@jordynnkelly6659]

I usually agree with everything you say Dan and I thank you for all your videos, but I feel like this is a disguised bullying and will cause a division and hurt feelings. I’ve been there- terribly hostile work environment. In my experience this doesn’t give them any place for redemption- some people, especially someone who would be rude in the workplace- would just end up further damaged. And when that happens, you’ve got divisiveness..and the behavior gets worse, but hides.

[@mervyngreene6687]

Okay, I have a couple of issues with the first response. Unless the speaker is management, he/she should not say whether the language would be tolerated. Also, saying that the language is offensive. I would say "That language is offensive. It violates our company policy." Also, I think that a person should not engage in a discussion with the person.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Really? Only management should be aware of company policies and state/federal workplace laws in re language? I thought they applied to everyone equally and should certainly be known by every employee and every manager. Where on earth do you work, Mervyn, where only management is aware of policies and laws and where employees are to tolerate offensive comments and not spotlight them?

[@mervyngreene6687]

@@TheWizardOfWords No. Only management can ENFORCE the regulations. So, in my opinion, an employee should be careful in stating what will happen. Instead of saying such behavior will not be tolerated, one should say that such behavior violates company policy and state and federal law. Unfortunately, corporations tolerate a lot, especially in situations where the behavior may make the company liable. A lot of times, the person complaining about the behavior is the person who suffers. Therefore I would stick to factual statements that either exists (that comment is offensive). The speaker can also make statements over which he/she has control (if you continue to make these offensive comments, I will file a complaint). Actually, I am not crazy about that one, because it is a threat. I believe that one should never threaten to do something. Either do it or don't.

[@TallMichelleWithTheLongHair]

Found it!

[@khairulrashid1524]

How to handle social confrontation . Important and unimportant . ( with verbal defensive and offensive techniques )

[@beckchasewolfe]

Hi I was wondering how would you deal with the office mooch the person that always need a ride or a dollar a quarter or to use your phone me and my sister have made the mistake of being too nice to the person in the office that always needs something that's always has some sobe storyline

[@queentinadoire6931]

Stop giving them rides and money. They will eventually get the message.

[@morganmoore51]

When y’all grow u I want to be like you !!!!!!!

[@pizzamasterf5]

Quality stuff

[@kvhowells]

Dan or if someone could chime in …..Someone was rude to my uncle at work saying “Why don’t you just retire and spend time with your grandchildren’ He has a great job at Pentagon and retired Airforce about 65years old That’s so rude and disrespectful to say to him! What’s a good reaction to that comment?

[@TheWizardOfWords]

I might say: "Like all working people, I spend plenty of time with my loved ones. Thank you for your concern. I hope you take the time for your friends and family too." I would TOTALLY ignore the ageist comment and act as though comments such as that are a reminder that work isn't everything. The original comment was rude and ignorant. The reply would be calm and classy. Parenthetically--we have people running for president who are pushing 80. I wonder if the person asking that question knows that. My mother would classify 65 as a spring chicken. She's 77 and more competent than anyone else in her field, if you ask me. Her response--and I don't recommend it--would be to laugh and say "Are you afraid I'm going to get your job? Don't worry. I don't want it. If I did, I'd have it." My mother is not always the most mindful communicator on the block. She hasn't yet taken my course :) :) :)

[@kvhowells]

@@TheWizardOfWords thank you so much for taking the time for your reply ! I love ❤️ this response! I enjoy listening to you talk about your Mom in your videos too 😀

[@alexiswinter7056]

Good opportunity for your own PR too. You can add, I'm giving you the opportunity to correct yourself, before someone else bypasses you, going right to HR.

[@margaritanoir]

My boss lies that I have been in office only once per week last month. Dunno who said that. She also threw shade at my professionalism because of that. I think a coworker is lying to her but she consciously lies. What do I do? My contract expires (Im temporary so I was mistreated lots) but Im worried that these ppl will give bad feedback to future employers cause they even mention things that bothered them centuries ago and are mostly made up or twisted into something negative!!

[@thenewyorkcitizen]

I did a lot of temp work years ago and temp employees are often treated badly. These same companies can not figure out why they can't keep people.

[@margaritanoir]

@@thenewyorkcitizen Yes. 2 years later and that office is depopulated. The boss has full control and she "let go" one and sent the other to work from her home country with limited duties. Tbh they deserved that although I grew to like one of them. However, I got little to nothing from working there, there was no training so I didnt learn important aspects of the job, the boss still wishes me on my birthday but we have no further dealings and the only reason the experience looks good on my CV is because of external opportunities I had taken during it. I still feel sad that I loved the city so much and felt so happy to be there but my boss and that office made my life so difficult that I had no will and energy to go out and also explore the country more. Actually I was depressed and one step away from a nervous breakdown. I was told by others that they were jealous of me so I thank my good angels that I was just a contracted agent. Can you imagine being permanent there? That'd be hell. In some ways being temporary is a blessing cause you get to leave instead of being in their mercy.

[@KarmasAbutch]

This needs to be taught to Therapists. It would be so much more effective and empowering than “traditional talk therapy” ... which is basically just a form of ruminating. 🌈💞🦄

[@TheWizardOfWords]

I agree Karmas. People don't need theory; they need words and attitude and empowerment.

[@PhoenixHaven777]

Thank you... African American, supervisor in the meetings she leads and on the sales floor, is unprofessional and offensive. The "N" word used by her, yesterday, about an African American male in the room... about his personality style on the phone and others sit in awkward silence or laugh. Then she made underhanded remarks about me, (I'm white), to new employees. I had to walk off the sales floor when she had it out with a co-worker, too loud to do our job effectively. When everyone sits there, not knowing what to say, it just escalates the level of anxiety. Not only is the company going down because of upset customers 90% of the time, I can't keep going with this kind of stress level. Anytime I speak up about it, there is always reprocussions and I'm treated more horribly for being strong enough to say something and not go with the flow. She offends other workers, in particular, African American men, who remain professional like me. I should walk out the door with purpose, but I need the dang income. I remain professional, do my job, go home not feeling at all, that I am making a difference or using my job skills to their highest potential. Still applying elsewhere, no interviews yet. Thank you. I'm so glad I found you on KZbin.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Connie, keep looking, keep looking keep looking. You deserve so much better.

[@redfuse8369]

Connie Haven since nearly everyone and even customers hear her talking and acting like that, is it an option to report to HR? She should be and can be fired for that.

[@lylehwong8786]

I listen to George Bruno

[@sage8889]

💎

[@unnamedchannel1237]

My work place has become toxic with this to the point I just don’t talk to people. They have learnt not to say these things directly to me as they will get no response from that point forward. Hard to listen to this stuff all day everyday. Hoping it’s not heard by somebody on the phone calls. Have made written information to my higher level managers nothing is being fixed. Getting to the point I am going to leave. GF needs brain surgery and I am hanging on because I have 3 months sick leave owing and I need to use this while she recovers

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Un Named, I have a new live course coming up on how to leave your job and get the next one. Think about signing up for that one over your three month break. You should be long gone from your current workplace.

[@silvanaramos9865]

Bystanders seem cowards, that is the upsetting and disappointing part.

[@christinebeames2311]

They are cowards

[@crystaladdy2155]

I had an incident at the doctor's office with the doctor's nurse wanted to point the temperature gun in the middle of my forehead and I have PTSD I asked her for an alternative she said no she was aggressive with me like an alpha female like I was her dog. she ran out and told the doctor I swore at her. I didn't swear at her I just said something I regret but it wasn't towards her I was looking away not leaning forward like I'm learning from you right now and I said it under my breath mumbled it and she heard me. she ran out and told the doctor I swore at her and was aggressive with her when it was the other way around. the doctor came in screamed in my face it was like a circus Jerry Springer type cringey show. there were no conflict Solutions offered no redirection everybody lost nobody won in the girl got away with it and she still working there and I'm no longer her patient after almost 10 years do you have anything you could share on something like the situation? thank you

[@SarahRejsa-oi6bq]

👍

[@QuantumInspired]

Tolorated by whom, what if it's tolorated and you are not the both and it's dangerous to put yourself in this situation because you are provoking a huge HR issue. I don't find this technique productive. I found more effective alternative.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Great and your alternative is . . . .