How to See People for Who They Really Are-The Work of Byron Katie®

Susan Piver of the Daily Dharma Gathering interviews Byron Katie and Stephen Mitchell. "As a busy Buddhist, it's a delight to feel the cohesion between my Buddhist studies and The Work," Susan says. "It feels like there's no difference. And The Work is meditation that you can do off the cushion."
"Yes," Katie says, "it's a practice that takes stillness, and we don't have to leave meditation just because we're walking and talking, going to work, and taking care of our children. And we don't need that cushion once inquiry is alive in us. It's an unceasing meditation to live in these questions. As an example, if I meet someone and hold a grudge against them, it's what I'm believing onto them that creates that grudge. It's like I'm slapping post-its on them as if my judgments are that person. So I'm not talking to that person, but rather to the identity that I believe them to be. So it's no wonder we're confused in our relationships. It's my responsibility to meditate on and to question what I'm believing about you, so that I can see you and know you. Believing onto you doesn't show me you. When I take my story off someone by questioning what I believe about them, I begin to experience compassion and love."
Later they discuss Katie and Stephen's new book, "A Mind at Home with Itself," which is based on the Diamond Sutra. "A mind at home with itself is the end of war in your world," Katie says.
"The Diamond Sutra is a text that centers on the issue of generosity," Stephen says. "The main point is that the more you understand the unreality of the self, and see that there's no difference between self and other, the more you naturally live a life of unfettered generosity. It came to me that this sutra would be an excellent framework for Katie to talk about her experience, because it's so much in harmony with the spirit of The Work."
"As Stephen read to me his translation of the sutra,"Katie says, "I wept with joy. I felt that any word I added to it would take away from its clarity. But Stephen encouraged me to speak out of my own experience, so I followed the simple directions, and we ended up with this book. We hope you find it helpfully alarming!"
The clearer the mind, the clearer the choices. -Byron Katie
Website: www.thework.com
Webcasts: www.livewithbyronkatie.com
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© 2018 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved.

[@eternity7477]

This woman is such a gift to the world. She helped me years ago to make peace with the fact that my son is a drug addict. I sometimes feel guilty at how happy I am in spite of what is happening with my children.

[@mclp-wc8eg]

MY GOD!!! ITS BEEN YEARS I FOLLOW KATIE AND HER WORK , ITS A MIRACLE, EVERY TIME, REALLY IS A GIFT FOR HUMANITY i FILL MYSELF WITH LOVE EVERY TIME I LISTEN TO HER OR I DO THE WORK, THANK YOU, THANK YOU

[@SteveBonario]

The moment of illumination for me was when Katie described our judgments/thoughts as post-it notes that cover up what's beneath! We're only ever seeing our beliefs -- our post-it notes. Little reminders from the past to keep seeing someone as we saw them in the past instead of being present to them and ourselves in the present. Once we see the post-it notes for what they are and stop believing in their story or message, the glue (attachment) dries out and the notes fall away of their own accord (the thoughts let go of us, as Katie often says). This metaphor is powerful and helpful for me.

[@spiritualgrowth4496]

Best combination: this couple!Modest masters of life.

[@yetisunghymn]

" Duncan shouldn't judge me by his standards " . "Duncan should believe me" . . " I need Duncan to love me ". "Duncan should show me his love". And an underworld thought/concept of these is: "Duncan does not/did not show me love" Concepts that I have and do also experience with people in my own life. Thank-you for your courage and your honesty. Such a great service for clarity and the end of suffering.

[@TheSquirreladyandMrNut]

Simply INCREDIBLE! LOVE you so much, Katie!!!

[@YesAvacan]

I love the truth ❤️ and Byron Katie helps me to find it. I am so greatful 🙏. Thank you .

[@katya1031]

Thank you very much. I watch it 5 times already. Never enough! So much compassion and wisdom. Nice to see and hear Stephen M. Love you all.

[@JasmijnKoelink]

Susan Piver, thank you so much for this conversation. Being so honest and open minded is humble to watch. Courageous. Thank you, BK and Stephen. So love-able, caring, encouraging, and wise. Helpful to hear you talking about The Work and Diamond sutra. Love to watch you both sitting together.

[@hein-janvanderveen7067]

Thank you so much for staying so close to home with all you do with the Open Heart Project! Including this beautiful interview with Byron Katie and Steven Mitchel. I love your work, it is very inspiring.

[@hein-janvanderveen7067]

Sorry Byron Katie and Steven Michel, I was under the impressions that Susan had posted this. I thank you so much Byron Katie, for sticking with us all for so long now. This work for me is so clearly the brilliant and very practical first step to understanding. Thank you for bringing it to us with such worm, loving and sincere devotion, every time agian.

[@erludiasiul7610]

Love, Love, Love ❤️❤️❤️ and thank you 1 Million times 🌸🙏🏻🌸

[@kaitlinobrien243]

Thank You so much! How beautiful to listen from here in Ireland!

[@Anja1111]

Watching now and loving it already. I Love the work. It has saved my life in those explosive and disastrous moments. I am truly grateful for your work Byron. And it's late here, so am gonna watch this beautiful video later on, added to watch later. ☼♥☼ Thank you for all the blessings you bring. Much Love to you and yours and to the entire community here! ☼♥☼

[@markschroeder7016]

Wonderful wisdom. So clear. Thanks.

[@saffronhammer7714]

My husband divorced me (I wanted to remain married), and sees me as the enemy. He is not my enemy, and I will forever love him--he cannot change how I feel--but neither can I change his view of me. I do find some sadness in this. But mostly now I have deep love when I think of him. It feels good to love unconditionally, but we must remember it is an inside job, and we cannot change how others see and feel about us.

[@katischmid653]

Just be honest with yourself

[@Smcgreg108]

I love how you spoke from your own experience here Susan... saying "I" instead of 'you' at 7:13

[@ritah515]

this feels so much like prajnaparamita sutra. also...! awesome! so inspiring...! thank you!

[@mandyho321]

Thank you for your wisdom..😊

[@sharonbrooks7560]

Thank you. This is so helpful.

[@day_dreamer_]

loved this, thank you

[@barpoe1]

This is the best thing I’ve ever heard on relationships. Very empowering. You were recommended by Abraham (Hicks) in one of their videos and I’m glad I looked you up.

[@Jdman5000]

Speedmarx do you know which video ?

[@katischmid653]

Yes.I also recommand Katie and Abraham Hicks and in German Anssi Attila(About becoming enlightened) .He Has also one englisch Video and sings one wonderful Russia song About relatiionships that one can also understand through melody naturally

[@jodywatson6673]

There is no one of we work it until it works.

[@urbanhairess]

I'm not sure I quite get this. What if Duncan is a genuinely selfish partner who refuses to help when he could have? I feel like this way of thinking makes excuses for such a person. I generally appreciate Byron Katie's method, but not quite sure how it works when the other person is genuinely in the wrong, is selfish or abusive.

[@barbarahemming3841]

But we are only dealing with what actually happened in that moment in time. In that moment she learned not to be dependant on anyone else, and he did her a favour by allowing HER to go the extra mile for HERSELF. She said they have a great relationship...so part of her upset was HER expectation that he would "step up" because he normally does. Obviously if there are LOTS of flags in your relationship, let your heart tell you the truth, not your head. Namaste

[@sheilakirwan6900]

Someone else's behaviour is their business and in the work, even if the other is 99% 'wrong', our job is to find even the 1% in us, where we do/have done what we hate in them ...as it is that 1% which is really the cause of our suffering ...not their 99%......if we didn't have the 1% or more in us, we wouldn't suffer when someone else "behaves badly".......we project onto another what we can't bear to look at in ourselves..... and it's totally ok not to quite get it ....I think most of us ..or I do ...get stuck from time to time ....don't give up as I think this is an amazing tool .....and there are Facebook groups that can help if you get stuck... I have been meditating seriously for 20 years and spend months watching my mind with top teachers .....and I have seen that this Byron Katie work is so invaluable ...we are conditioned with so many thoughts that we just habitually believe ....I want/I need ....and follow these thoughts ...and suffer ...again and again and again .....the work, as meditation, does take great diligence, effort and if we prioritise it we can lead such a happy peaceful life, where even the most awful things may happen externally and our minds/hearts would still be at peace...... wishing you and all who access BK work, much success in this ....

[@ralphhenderson5276]

Then you either stay with him, accepting how he is and expecting more of such behavior, or you leave him.

[@brittwilliams8217]

I think people get confused that not identifying with your thoughts means that you don't or shouldn't take action. She can either stay with her partner or leave him the point is she doesn't have to suffer her thoughts around it.

[@annmariecross8626]

i love you

[@maggierobbins4511]

Is it possible to get complete or a lot of freedom of mind without attending the 9 day school? I’ve known bout the work for 3 years now. I want to attend the 9 day school however it’s difficult money wise. And I won’t have 9 days till near end of 2019

[@ByronKatieLovingWhatIs]

Hello Maggie, we offer scholarships to attend the School. If you are interested visit, bit.ly/TheWorkScholarship.

[@cretaceostrapulazza5918]

Can i ask you guys something. If the core of the work is basically understanding that you are the whole thing, the whole show, and ultimatly theres no difference between you and another and stuff.. why did Katie got married? Im not being judgemental, i 'd just love to know! I mean, if you realize you and the Tao are one, that you are the cosmic love, God or whatever, whats the point of cohabiting, whats the ''special link'' between you and your partner? Why a partner? Im rly curious about this topic, not being opinionated in any ways.

[@ByronKatieLovingWhatIs]

Married or not, nothing changes; my life is lived without possibility of change. Stephan’s world is his--my world is mine, in or out of relationship. For better or for better it is the way of it. bk

[@natashazheltova1412]

@@ByronKatieLovingWhatIs though it wasn't me asking the question, I'd like to thank you, Katie, for the answer anyway. You have a gift of making things clear by using simple words that go straight to the heart. I'm happy that life brought me to you. Best wishes!

[@omnificent15]

The etymology of passion is suffering. Compassion means to suffer with. No, thanks:)