How to start thriving in life

[@paulaneary7877]

Holy Moly, the "lone wolf" concept hit me like a ton of bricks. I realize now that my parents expected us to be that way. Sort of a "figure it out on your own" style of parenting. Plus lack of support when actual problems did arise. Perfect storm for someone becoming a lone wolf, so here I am at 60 still expecting myself to do EVERYTHING myself. Interesting. Helpful information.

[@iw9338]

Yeppers,I hear you 😮😅

[@iw9338]

Yeppers, I hear you 😮😅

[@annelbeab8124]

Welcome to the club... Sometimes we systemically arrange life circumstances that demand being self reliant (!) all the time.

[@bigbitsmama4802]

exactly me too. so tired

[@PatchouliPuff]

@paulaneary7877 exactly same for me. Traumatic thngs happenedwhen I was little, and I couldn't make any friends I was so shy and cried to go home a lot. At 14 I attempted the S word and was hospitalized. Now I'm in my 50s and recently asked mother if she knew I needed help back then. She got mad and said "I was waiting for you to snap out of it!!"

[@cd2437]

To get out of survival mode I made a small support group of trusted friends and weekly ACA meetings. I left my narcsssistic husband of 27 years, got a small apartment and filled it with everything I love, my fave books, music, candles, bath salts and cute decor etc. I go for a massage every other week. I also do Qigong and have joined a choir. At first I couldn't align my voice with others but now I'm starting to and for some reason it feels very healing. I read that singing and humming with others is healing for trauma survivors.

[@AyaAya-fh2wx]

You are an inspiration ❤

[@Sky-Child]

Wholesome. Yes, singing is quite literally finding your voice - unstick that energy!!

[@dawnsanfilippo6357]

What are ACA meetings? I am not familiar..

[@cd2437]

@ Adult Children of Alcoholic or dysfunctional families ( doesn't have to be an addiction to alcohol could be lots of other things like OCD etc )

[@Gizmodi]

27 years of pretending and then you finally get your voice and it's to leave instead of communicating? Do you have children?

[@justsomeguy-yd3yw]

It's hard to get out of survival mode when you know literally nothing else. My first personal trauma was before I could talk. My last major trauma was about 3 years ago. I don't feel safe in the world we live in because the authorities in charge of maintaining that world, are frankly fucking off. They don't actually put care for the people first. As long as this remains true, people like me will continue to exist.

[@Gretchenthedoll]

I am giving you big hugs. I want you to know you are not alone. There are so many more good guys than bad ones but I know that what we are being shown is terrible.. remember fear is easily spread over faith. ❤ You are not alone...sending love.

[@saltandpepperandmint]

Only Jesus can help us, truly! It’s a war between good and evil. A spiritual warfare.

[@justsomeguy-yd3yw]

@@saltandpepperandmint Ha! Jesus left me behind like everyone else

[@Wewereneveryoung]

​@@justsomeguy-yd3yw I'm with you! Then you have the masses brainwashed by religion with half empty heads and no critical thinking skills. I hear you! You're not alone!

[@michaelallen1154]

​​​@@saltandpepperandmint the story isn't real. You should (1.) do your research info higher criticism and (2.) begin thinking about things like, _if the god of the bible is real, who engineered the evil in this world, such as the predator-prey cycle, in which nearly all sentient beings are living in constant high levels of stress?_

[@songbird3094]

I've been stuck in survival mode too many years. I've finally found a good therapist, I go a walk most days and try to bulk cook. When I get a really low energy day, I can at least eat something healthy. TFS ❤

[@FilippaSkog]

You’re doing so well! Slowly getting a yourself to a better place.

[@TheHolisticPsychologist]

So glad you have a good therapist, go for walks and try to bulk cook. You are showing up for yourself in such powerful ways. Thank you for sharing.

[@jesusfollower5588]

I need to do this. My body is so tired most of the day.

[@iw9338]

Maybe we can become addicted to the adrenaline 😮😅. I'm practicing slowing down and observing what I need 😮😅

[@lmschultz109]

Im 58 and survival mode has been my normal most of my life. Im working on changing that little by little.

[@dawnsanfilippo6357]

I'm 58 and am just realizing that I lived my whole life in survival mode. You are not the only person your age on this journey.

[@SwederZ]

What helped me gain more energy is to be just aware of a negative feeling and just let it be. In my experience overthinking a negative emotion creates a cycle where the thought and the emotion create each other. This is how I broke it: when youre overthinking a bad feeling. Stop thinking and just focus on the feeling. Just let it be an stop analyzing. This way you let your body heal you. Heal by becoming whole again.

[@TheHolisticPsychologist]

Thank you for sharing what has helped you!

[@Southerngrl]

Yass!!!

[@Rhjnkiitewsxbmlp]

But how do you stop thinking about it

[@lyndadoerner5341]

@@RhjnkiitewsxbmlpMaybe focused breathing ? Inhale for a count of four, hold for count of four, exhale count of eight, is a good one .

[@notadonna5983]

Good question! You're in the right place. Keep learning. ❤​@@Rhjnkiitewsxbmlp

[@ELLA888]

This vlog came just in time..👍👏💯 Because I decided to change my life. I can't continue in this mode of survival and pleasing everyone and I'm putting myself last.. This has to stop. From now on I will make myself a priority.🥰 Thank you with gratitude for everything.🤗😘💐

[@sherrytaylor3738]

Same

[@abowling5759]

Great work!…

[@gunnmorstl1842]

Yes! Wish you luck! ❤

[@TheHolisticPsychologist]

Proud of you for making yourself a priority! Thank you for being here.

[@ljkoh20052000able]

To heal: 1. Life Inventory - See what you can and cannot control. Reflect your life's support and under support. See what is and what is not healthy; 2. Triggers - introspect your childhood trauma; then decide your response; 3. Move - move, do not conserve/store energy to your survival modes pent up stuck energy. Do wall pushing or push ups. 4. Support system . Call your Mental Health Help number. 5. Connect with You. Meditate, be present, journal, ask be curious ask why? Most helpful for me here was correlating my anx with my childhood. Awareness of past experiences is key

[@yukio_saito]

Thank you for taking notes. 🗒✍

[@missssy]

Thank you so much for this !!!

[@lindsayjackson9298]

I've had trauma and years of being in survival mode. I am 41, in therapy, and I am just now learning how to "cope" with life. In my 20s, I tried to take my life. Now, my oldest has adhd, anxiety, obsessive negative thoughts and is also in therapy. (Adhd and anxiety he gets from me). Then, his dad walked out 3 years ago. He knows he is my reason for healing, for getting stronger, and I will fight with everything I have to get him help, strategies, etc., NOW. I can't let him just survive until his 40s. Sometimes your "why" changes everything. Even though I stopped a cycle within my family, there will always be damaged, toxic, or people with unhealed trauma. My boys will always be worth it. And I will fight by their side until I am no longer here. ❤

[@Laura-xt9ch]

Movement for me: releasing the anger of and for people who have hurt me, I choose today to let it all go and not stay stuck any longer. No more recycled thoughts. No more holding on to what does not serve me, it never served me because I can’t change the people who hurt me. I can’t make them love me or respect me, but I can choose to be loving, kind, free of resentment and a hard heart. I choose today to be absolutely free of outside negativity. I can do this because Jesus did this, He is my example. No one will ever try to steal my joy, peace, kindness and love ever again, I won’t give them what belongs to me.

[@newdiffrentbetter]

Believe it or not, I moved to a new apartment and once I was all settled in I knew this place was not somewhere I needed to cry, feel alone, or worry. I could see I had grown and decided I was no longer going to live in survival mode, it was time to thrive and the ease of the move/transition was the catalyst.

[@tbunnyshy1]

It feels safe to stay in survival mode. Changing my living situation will literally fix most of this issue, personally. Being around/living with unsafe people hinders progress.

[@AndreaLuikink]

I realize that a am really bad at regulating my emotions. Instead of being totally overwelmed by them and not understanding what is happening. I started saying to myself you can feel however you want to feel right now. That is making me more calm and feel more safe.

[@jamiejaymee]

I've been in survival since I was very young and I'm 47 now. As much as all these help, they are fleeting 😭 I'm also autistic which doesn't help as I become unregulated so easily. All I've known is survival and I am desperate to move through that into some kind of peace 🕊️✌🏽❤

[@TheHolisticPsychologist]

Thank you so much for so vulnerably sharing your experience with me. Holding vision you will find peace❤

[@kriskairn3715]

Thankyou so much . Your help is good and I always watch you .

[@t.g.7180]

I can relate. I’ve been in survival mode for 55 years & I have no clue how to get relief. I also seem to like to self sabotage ☹️

[@BellaCups1515]

Me too. So many autistic people are traumatized

[@irelandgreene5746]

Maybe ACT would work for ya? There is an app called ACT coach that helps with that. It teaches you how to defuse from your thoughts instead of regulating them ( but it has a similar effect). Maybe defusion would work better for you, but I'm not a professional. It's just what my counselor has me doing. I hope it helps you, if you decide to try it.

[@sharonwallbank8746]

For me, walking in nature helps to make me feel calmer, or movement like running, dancing etc. I feel better if i distract myself with something like cooking, cleaning, painting etc. Also talking to people, not necessarily about your emotions but just chit chat is a nice distraction. If you have someone you trust that you can vent to that helps a lot too. Be kind to yourself. I try to remember that in the past when i thought things were bad, it turned out ok in the end and i needn't have worried quite so much ❤

[@tiffanycolson3358]

I am 44. I've never known a moment where I haven't been in survival mode. My mom was beaten while pregnant with me and the chaos never stopped. Thank you .

[@ec3064]

Dr. Lepera, thank you for all of the work, time and caring that you send and give to people through videos like this! You are appreciated 💐💐

[@TheHolisticPsychologist]

Thank you for your kind words. I appreciate your presence here in the community.

[@ec3064]

@@TheHolisticPsychologist You are very welcome!

[@nycjanedoe]

I still have to do everything myself.

[@MentalHealthPower]

1. Mindfulness, body scanning, grounding and concentration based meditation - this teaches us to not take every thought and emotion we have as the complete truth and our identity, so we can observe them in a more balanced way. It teaches us how to respond instead of react, and to have a healthier relationship with our mind, emotions and body, like allowing ourselves to feel uncomfortable emotions to learn what it is communicating to us. For some reason grounding meditations where I visualise light energy coming from above going into my body, and then going into the ground through my legs and feet then down into the center of the earth, where it then brings up red energy into my root chakra - works really well over a several days of doing it daily. 2. Somatic exercises and vagus nerve stimulation - doing these are were a game changer for me. Moving the body in specific ways and doing things like chanting, deep breathing and yoga type movements signals to the body and mind that it is safe, shifting it out of the fight/flight/freeze response mode and into the rest/digest mode. 3. Sleep hygiene - learning how to sleep better, like getting enough daylight early in the morning, have little to no light an hour before bed, reducing screen time before bed and eating dinner earlier, those kinds of things helped me a huge amount. Also I stopped doing things that were overstimulating my brain and body, like late night video games or scrolling on my phone, as well as installing red light filter apps on all my devices.

[@janegallagher6162]

I can't begin to thank you enough for your generosity in sharing your own experiences and knowledge. I think the difference is knowing you have experience all of what you teach and share with others.

[@TheHolisticPsychologist]

You're welcome! Grateful to get to be here. Sending much love❤

[@akent5603]

I'm still working on getting out of survival mode, but recognizing my triggers has been really helpful, especially when I'm able to figure out where/when a trigger originated in my childhood. I've found that once I've ID'd a trigger I'm better at noticing when it gets activated & I'm getting better at staying present in the moment instead of letting the old "programmed response" take over.

[@PatchouliPuff]

Hi, this is the first video I've seen of yours and I like it. To your question: I have finally, after about 35 years and numerous mental health "events", found a therapist who I'm actually comfortable talking to and she is PTSD-focused. (She's been in that field since the 80s I think.) Also, I almost always feel better if I ride my bike somewhere beautiful or challenging, or if I watch some stand-up comedy (but this isn't the best tactic in my opinion because I'm still sitting around). I do sometimes scream my head off in my house (as I live alone), I sometimes listen to really loud music, sometimes dance. And sometimes I just go to a store and browse as a distraction and to get around people. Thanks for this video and good luck to all reading this.

[@gunfighterdrummer]

What’s frustrating is knowing in the back of your head of what your supposed to do, but your instincts are much more powerful than any information you store in your head. Doesn’t mean it can’t de overwritten of course.

[@TheHolisticPsychologist]

Completely get that frustration! The conditioning is so real.

[@abigailfatkins5392]

Dancing and choreography has been a huge part of finally tasting what breaking out of survival mode looks and feels like.

[@abigailfatkins5392]

And writing poetry about my emotions

[@cherylwilsherlimberlife7210]

Been stuck 5 years in collapse immobilisation, ugh life sucks here, feels like no matter how hard i try i cant heal. I know i need safe people to be there for me, struggling

[@noemisolano4748]

I was in a toxic work environment and I was in survival mode. I got myself out by getting another job. But I still continued to be in survival mode because I am in a toxic relationship with my spouse. I'm working my way out of this relationship by getting my own place and afterwards I'm going to find a therapist and a support group.

[@TheHolisticPsychologist]

This is powerful awareness. Thank you so much for sharing. Holding vision you find a great therapist and support group for yourself. I also have a private healing community SelfHealers Circle that may be of interest. You can learn more at www.selfhealerscircle.com

[@openyourmind3763]

Good for you and good luck. You are empowered which is a gift but still not easy. I would recommned obtaining more support now, which could help you with the next difficult transition. But of course it's a personal process and upt to you, trust yourself. Wish you much peace and contentment now and on the other side of your life transitions. So glad you recognize your worth.

[@kbrown611]

I’ve found TRE - trauma release exercise - very beneficial. Found it on KZbin

[@kbrown611]

David Berceli

[@asial-ne3tw]

I second that, it’s very powerful, and some people like this as it doesn’t involve talking, like a therapy without talk

[@Southerngrl]

Thanks will be looking that up next. ❤

[@nameunknown1519]

This is exactly what I’m working on now. Here’s to all of us thriving!

[@TheHolisticPsychologist]

Here's to thriving!

[@harishhabit]

Self-awareness/mindfulness and building connection w/ الله my Rabb. Inner-work in progress.

[@SimplySab7088]

Wow! I'm 34 years old I've just realized I've been living in survival mode my entire life, thank you for highliting these signs it's time for a change 😊.

[@katieg271]

You hit the nail on the head describing exactly what I've been feeling for months now. I'm in full blown survival mode.

[@cathyphillips679]

What helped me was to recognize that danger can be a real thing, but fear is a reaction that I am having. Certainly, my reactions are things that I can control.

[@angellombness4371]

Had to do all of it to get out. Trying each of those, never stop trying.

[@mermaidmermaid5008]

I’m just learning that survival mode is my normal. It’s really hard for me to imagine any other way of being. I’m 46 and just beginning to learn that I’m in chronic survival mode, I’m stuck in freeze mode, I have chronically high cortisol levels and probably also adhd and crippling self hatred. All of this is so ingrained and habitual and I feel like I’m making no ground on moving through. I am however becoming somewhat more self aware but the well feels vast and expansive and I’m only just cracking the surface. I wish anyone on this journey strength and love.

[@bdainnc]

I have lived this way my whole life.

[@amynaddra7230]

Exceptional video. I have CPTSD and I was reflecting on how my parents were also so neglectful. Our dog died while they were away on a trip. They came back and said nothing to me. I was a teenager. Insanity. I’ll try your tips. I’m definitely in survival mode. I wear a thriving bracelet but sometimes get mad that I’m wearing it.

[@Aurora-e6o]

I've been stuck in survival mode since my mother decided to have more children, and I became the babysitter without a childhood (I was only 6). There was never an *I love you, a thank you, any type of gratitude.* I wanted to runaway at the age of 8 and take my little sister with me, I felt so alone and felt like I had to save myself and little sister (my mother had 2 more children, but married their father. Things got worse).

[@nichollebraspennickx943]

So grateful for CBT and a competent wonderful therapist - I got out of survival mode - I have developed a connection to my emotions and feelings - I have developed new and much better coping skills - all that said - there will be days, weeks - what have you - where I do get triggered or become emotionally disregulated - but now I can identify that and work my way back to equilibrium… there’s more - but again - you can work your way out of survival mode - but it takes work

[@zart8478]

❤ thank you maam The most helpful thing that got me out of survival mode was movement release through daily walks while listening to music I like and also spending time with nature because that's the best way for me to connect with myself and my surroundings without feeling anxious or feeling danger.

[@theherbalsanctuary811]

I've always been in survival mode. I have had brief moments where I didn't feel that way, but it always comes back. I don't know if I feel hopeless or worthless. But at 60 yrs old, I'm pretty much out of time to truly fix it and find my passion. Great video, totally sums up my childhood. I knew I was loved but the chaos of addiction was ever present.

[@paiviheiskanen2382]

Love it that you created this video Nicole!! I used to be in survival mode 8 years ago what helped me get out of it is a combination of different things together what u mention here including breath work, meditation and yoga. The most important that i emphasize is taking it in really small steps each day. I found community support inside the Self-healers Circle, however i didn’t know of Dr.Nicole 8 years ago so my support was one widowed person who held space for me the only person i felt i could trust at the time. Actually finding support is still the one area that is difficult especially after leaving ( not out of my own choice)the SHC so i don’t have much of a support system and feel i have to do everything alone.

[@TheHolisticPsychologist]

Thank you so much for so vulnerably sharing your experience, Paivi. Holding vision you will have the support system you are needing. Sending you a lot of love. ❤

[@KathyTravels]

I can’t even motivate myself to go out and mail a package. The procrastination is off the charts.

[@Joyce-gx5gk]

I have been in survival mode alot and agree with your ideas to help get out. I did alot of things. Take one step then the next and keep going on the path of helping yourself and allowing better people to be in your life to help you. Walking in nature is a favorite, visual meditations, letting go of toxic people-even family members, making your own happiness the priority, get plenty of rest, eat healthfully, quit bad habits, be careful with what you choose to focus on…just pick what seems like the best step and take it one step at a time. ❤❤❤ creative endeavors, make a place and time for yourself, join a meetup group…keep finding and never give up.

[@shoukaiser]

I don't know if I've ever liked a video immediately because of a thumbnail and 1 frame with a whiteboard giving a ton of good info, but, here I am haha. Now to actually listen and process. Thank you.

[@AnnaEllie13]

Thank you so much for this channel Nicole. I work on healing CPTSD for a few years now and videos like this are very helpful. The road of healing is not straight. I went through many setbacks, but they brought more self-awareness and growth. Good luck to everyone on their healing journeys ❤ I truly believe that we will find our way out of darkness as a collective.

[@ingridkneer8246]

Thank You, very worthwhile and beautifully presented❤

[@winterwunderland]

Helpful video! I am in survival mode as much as I hate it. We just experienced the wrath of Hurricane Helene here in western NC. We made it, one day at a time. 4 weeks with no power and 5 1/2 no water. We were informed that our power would be cut off last night so power company could do additional work. Some panic and faulty thinking set in. Still digging out, but remind myself we are incredibly fortunate.

[@kathleenentezari2561]

Thank you! This was timely for me. Crazy how I was blinded by all the trauma since childhood and how it affected my entire life. Wish I’d realized what I have in the recent years decades ago. But as the saying gies, better late than never.

[@tjskyye9409]

Thanks so very much for sharing with us!

[@pamliles702]

I did the hands on the wall technique. It really does help. My mother triggers me by asking "are you mad at me?" A sure sign that she very much at fault. Great trigger though. It works evry time, like a charm. I am 56. My family bullied me my entire life. I am frozen in survival mode. Thanks for this video.

[@marythr2617]

Setting boundaries have helped me feel a little bit more in control and so helped me a little with the survival mode issue. Probably not the regular medicine for it but it has helped me a lot to find a little bit of peace everyday.

[@michelled4042]

Yep, definitely in survival mode. Thanks for giving clarity to what I have been struggling with.❤

[@AnnPellicano]

Definitely me. I’m dealing with Fibromyalgia pain, anxiety and other medical issues.

[@RollerCoasterPsycho]

Omg this hit on so many levels

[@twillsJKZ]

Feel so shut down and hopeless that I don’t even have the effort to do the work on myself

[@Lilasun]

❤ I remember having this feeling, I don’t remember exactly what shifted, but just letting you know that it does, and energy comes and things start to move. Lots of love to you xx

[@Gretchenthedoll]

Sending you lots of love. I understand this but I want you to know you're precious and I need you as much as the rest of the world does..you are worth investing in. ❤

[@malwads1836]

​@@GretchenthedollLovely🌞👍🏻💐.

[@einysjame]

You can do it, If I can you can.

[@annkatrinhellkvist3736]

Love that there are physical movements that can help healing😊

[@chrisbobla6456]

I think I have been in survival mode for decades. Thanks for the videos they are helpful.

[@TheHolisticPsychologist]

Grateful you find my videos helpful. Thank you for telling me.

[@sychedup]

Such a valuable perspective! Moving from survival mode to thriving takes real work, but it’s incredible how small changes can create a huge shift. I’ve been diving into these concepts myself, and it’s amazing to see the impact on overall well-being. Thanks, Dr. Nicole, for always sharing insights that empower us to live better!

[@Lostinadaydream-p8m]

A beacon of light, you are✨.

[@peasforpods6573]

I have been in survival mode for so long… I don’t have a job now, a lot of debt and constant rejections I can’t even think of having a relationship and haven’t had one in 7 years. There is a lot of insecurity like will I ever be financially free.

[@mitubolari]

This is GOLD ❤✨ thank you so much, so helpful 🙏

[@TheHolisticPsychologist]

Thank you!

[@kylara1360]

The biggest helps for me coming out of survival mode were Divorced Care at a church that had a lot of caring people who loved me, and Codependence Anonymous where I found people who understood me and accepted me. Both places gave me community, but CoDA by far made me feel seen and known. Highly recommend!

[@ckl5801]

I’m glad that worked for you. I had a negative experience at both of those church based programs and they weren’t for me…in fact hearing everyone else talk about their stories just brought up negative feelings for me and I found it triggering.

[@Stars_intheskys]

Thank you for all you so for the world

[@AnatoliaElle]

Somatic stretchin crying meditating being in nature like woodlands singing me dancing if I can

[@lindapostema8867]

I am 52 now and completely in survival mode. Childhood trauma and many more traumas after that. Now that the world seems to crumble down and even planet disasters are happening and I have to support my older mom and my sick partner I can only do the bare minimum. Work my fulltime job in robot mode. Preparing myself every week emotionally when I have to do grocery shopping because even participating in traffic gives me anxiety. I wish I could get out of this and then I would start a KZbin channel and help many others in the same situation. Did all the things she mentioned but nothing seems to help. I have many hobbies I like but as soon as I want to do them anxiety takes over because they feel like another obligation. So for now...just surviving.

[@CesarinaGretha]

Loved these tips, the only thing that is different for me getting out of survival mode was actually sitting with my feelings instead of avoiding them and running away from it. I guess it's all about balance?

[@MWear-x8t]

Find out if you are autistic or adhd. You don't need an official diagnosis or even all the symptoms, but if you have some of those symptoms, listen and read ways to manage them or tailor your life to make it function better with them. For example, if you are disorganized whether you have adhd or not, turn to adhders to find troubleshooting for that. Whether you are in fact autistic or not, if you are say very sensitive to sound, stop trying to treat yourself like a "typical" person and get some ear plugs, or put some sound absorption material in your office or whatever you can do to get more quiet. Stop forcing yourself to stay at parties if they are too loud. Give yourself permission to take care of yourself, even if you are not the same as everyone else. A lot of autistic people are undiagnosed and trying to force themselves to live the same as other people and it is killing them and making them very cranky with their families. Put on jogging pants the minute you get home, whatever helps you with the sensory stuff. She mentions movement release. I think even non-autistic people could benefit from "stimming". That is hand flapping, rocking fidgeting and of course walking. My daughter spins around the room because of her adhd, but even not adhd or non-autistics can do it if they have too much overstimulation and energy, they may just not need to do it as often.

[@kimberlytrent5245]

Really great suggestions❤

[@Healingwithjewelz]

This is so important. It’s hard to do any of the work without a foundation.. this is very helpful thank you for sharing this

[@thetavibes]

Great video- simple word, practical advises- thank you! I have tried all of these, but what helped me most was finding true connection with God and theta healing sessions

[@Lyrielonwind]

I'm in shut down mode.

[@gailfarrell4613]

I am enjoying your videos and your very straightforward manner of explaining. I find your roll playing scenarios very helpful in ways that just describing childhood experiences would not yield. Thanks for trying to educate and help.

[@TheHolisticPsychologist]

So grateful that you find my videos helpful! Thank you for telling me.

[@emilywinterflood8793]

This is on point I am grateful I found this ❤❤

[@mehmandst.94]

Life is really about more than just surviving!✨ I've found mindfulness meditation to be very helpful in letting go of control, and body shaking has also been very effective in reducing my anxiety.💚

[@TheFabFarmer]

This came at the perfect time. Thank you for sharing. Keep shining your light!

[@TheHolisticPsychologist]

So grateful this came at the perfect time for you. Thank you for sharing with me.

[@RoseWilson]

Absolutely great tips. Thank you so much ❤

[@jenmck8146]

Agreed - she keeps nailing it, with each and every video!

[@maredwinzar3275]

I feel I might be in survival mode, some days I do okay sometimes not. Net result is I don't get enough done, worry and get downhearted. What I would say, although I haven't mastered this, is that other times I achieved a change it was a long hard fight. Suffering with insomnia for example, the usual story of trying different ways to get in sleep mode, forcing myself to be up in the day, miserable and exhausted, nothing seemed to work. Then, mysteriously it did. Losing weight after years of obesity and getting out of clinical depression were similar. So many setbacks, feeling like a failure, the physical effort was too hard. But the will was there and I think eventually as I had exhausted all my thoughts about the problem, actually solving it became the only logical step to take. So keep your will strong, keep thinking how good it could be and then you'll get there. There's no prison in our minds.

[@JaneSmith-x4x]

Thanks Nicole, interesting information

[@dhaniramkharkhate]

this video literally came in the perfect moment in my life, love you

[@TheHolisticPsychologist]

So grateful this one came at the perfect moment. Thank YOU for being here.

[@vhscassette6583]

i have been dxed with fibro and have suffered a high heart rate for years with no medical explanation (got holter monitored and everything too). its so frustrating having people tell you "its probably trauma related" and then leaving us to fend for ourselves with no answers and only the physical tightness, the jumpiness, the anger, the rage.

[@Joanthebrightone]

Thank you!!!! This video really helped me.

[@AngelOClock]

This is so so so great... right in time. Thank You very very much!!!

[@TheHolisticPsychologist]

Thank YOU for being here.

[@AngelOClock]

@@TheHolisticPsychologist 👀🐞🐞🐞♥️ Thank You for answering😊😊😊 I appreciate Your content very much and I'm so happy and thankful for Your work. It already helped me. Looking forward for everything. 💝

[@joshuah8401]

This was exactly what I needed to hear. As always, thank you Nicole!

[@NatashaChisenga-v2b]

Have being in survival since I was a kid and now am close to 28 . I just ticked all the box 😢

[@NilsExp]

I remember I used to bite a towel as hard as I could to deal with frustration when I was a kid.

[@oksanakaido8437]

I remember biting my hand when feeling frustrated/overwhelmed as a kid, the towel is certainly a "better" coping strategy. I actually had a good childhood and good parents though, I was just always sensitive and high anxiety.

[@NilsExp]

@@oksanakaido8437 me too, a little rocky tho

[@DonaldRudy]

Been in and out from my first spinal surgery at age 22. I have been strongly in survival mode since age 36, when I had a hardened piece of disc in my spinal cord. Now 21 years later, I have my lower spine fused, but have been in it so long..... If I could gain employment it would be huge, but I cannot lift things or be on my feet as part of a job.

[@JonyeMatre]

good video yet again, thank you love ❤️

[@rjg02005]

I've been in survival mode for as long as I can remember, but it's definitely come in more or less waves at times. Personally speaking: my wave is heavy now, but I feel some sense of agency, so that's a positive. A note on movement: I've found more personal benefit from sustained (30-60mins) medium-intensity cardio than shorter-duration movements like sprints, pushing against a wall (or push-ups), or yelling. For me, those quicker movements do not feel sufficient; longer stints on the elliptical where I feel a significant need to tap into energy reserves tend to feel more mentally refreshing. That said, it's a lot of time and being able to carve out that time every single day is a luxury not everyone has.

[@DoodleGarden]

Yes. Thank you

[@CowboyConan]

Yoga. I was on antidepressants and mood stabilizers for 15 years. Yoga helped me get off of all of them.

[@Truth4Trav85]

Thank you

[@ANJUSHARMA-xd1is]

Thank you😊

[@scissoredR]

This is so timely for me. Thank you. 🖤🖤🖤 I've been following your socials for years. Volume is a little low on this one. Please consider a mic. I'm listening while working. Need to do without headphones so i hear other alerts. ☺

[@anthonylanni9804]

Missed these videos 😊

[@caseyarmstrong3542]

So I find a video like this, I watch the beginning, take a pic of her whiteboard, place all of this into a note with intention of watching, then I go back to the BS I was binge watching in my search to numb… 😢

[@GreatGrannyFreeBird]

so good.

[@PraveenSrJ01]

My 64 year old mother 👩 is definitely always in survival mode for reasons I won’t share either and I’m 41 years old.

[@dianaheilman5163]

I'd love to know what questions to ask myself to take a life inventory.

[@mrslaharris7128]

❤❤❤Thank you ♥️ ❤❤

[@askrixs.6511]

Nicole, thank you kindly for the video. It's plain and clear. I am certain there will be more people appreciating the simplicity of the overview. I have the following question. What would you do in my place, if you can't even remember when you haven't been in the survival mode? I mean, there are bigger and smaller triggers, but the blind rage and anger (or even hatred) have been your constant companions for as long you can remember yourself? Quite literally, I see myself balancing on the edge of the misanthropy. I explain it to myself as rage addiction. If I am angry, I am alive and can survive. Unfortunately, I can't really mediate because the state catapults me into depression. I have no one to rely upon and no relationship. I had to go through pandemic on my own, alone in the four walls. Something broke inside of me during the pandemic. And, frankly, I don't understand what.

[@berniemaopolski4870]

I feel a constant feeling of doom because of the situation in my country (USA) and I really don't think it's irrational

[@berniemaopolski4870]

Like how were you supposed to feel if you were not a Nazi living in Germany in 1939?

[@CindaMurphyRealEstate]

It’s all going to be fine. Things on the news almost never manifest into anything in our personal daily lives. Stop watching all news related content or ANY content that makes you feel anything but good for 30 days. You’ll be AMAZED at how much better and more hopeful you’ll feel about the future. Watching scary or depressing content is a habit and it creates the habit of feeling anxiety and despair. Even though those are considered negative feelings, they are addictive nonetheless because they fool us into thinking that we “know what’s coming” and can prepare for it. But that’s an illusion. We absolutely do not know what’s going to happen. It’s an illusion that feeling anxious is somehow preparing. It’s all a waste of time and worse, needlessly creates a false impression that you know what to expect and by watching content are “preparing” for it. The algorithms know you now. They know how to get your attention and what hooks you so it will be hard to tune out even when you are actively seeking healthy content. If you can’t resist looking at unhealthy content, try temporarily blocking or deleting the apps and listen to uplifting material via something like Audible. I’ll put your phone down altogether and read a book or call a friend that isn’t overcome with doom and gloom, if you have one. As an experiment, try going one week without watching anything negative. Notice if you are able to control it or if you feel compelled to tune in to things that confirm your belief that everything is going to hell in a handbasket. Really examine yourself and what drives you.

[@annelbeab8124]

1933 and before​@@berniemaopolski4870

[@annelbeab8124]

It's no surprise: human kind is either immature or insane. Both takes the same steps to overcome. Us dealing with untrue beliefs of constant self attack could be a first step to make this world a little less restless and move into the position to make decisions in a true grown up way.

[@selah5792]

Its not irrational. But also youre not alone (feeling that way). ❤