How To Stop Catastrophizing About The Future

[@VirtualSuperSoldier]

Catastrophizing is pretty horrible. For me its the thought of people leaving me or the people I love dying. I have found it helpful to remind myself that I cannot predict the future. Also, during a depressive episode my brain isn't entirely working right and can't be trusted to even imagine the future realistically. I actually say "Stop. Your brain isn't working right." when I catch myself catastrophizing.

[@taki3495]

I do it a lot cuz my parents have health issues ur thing worked tysm

[@meso25]

This is me indeed

[@aurorataylor7061]

@Logan Legend me too on scared of losing my mom because I just lose my dad almost every Christmas I lose someone

[@gauravghosh2422]

yes excatly , i think the same ....

[@Colon_D]

That's exactly what I've been catastrophizing about

[@MB-zy4cm]

Love the phrase... 'these are visitors in the guesthouse' speaking about fear... depression ... anxiety etc. Wow!

[@mcr670]

Poem by Rumi called 'The Guest House'.

[@AtHomeWithZaneR]

When my ex left me, I was not eating better or thinking about the situation less after 2 weeks!! It was MONTHS before I felt any sense of calmness and YEARS before I felt “better.” Naturally, I believe the longer you’re with someone plays a factor as well as the circumstances in which a relationship has ended. I doubt most people will feel better after 2 weeks.

[@nicolas0099]

*trying to get these bad thoughts out of my head cause it's literally killing me , pray for me , i pray for y'all too i hope y'all find peace and relief in ur life , keep fighting ✊🏽🙏🏾*

[@Bprimemod]

Same here right now. I'll pray for you, for all of us. I hope you're doing better. We're definitely not alone and stay strong 💜

[@noitallmanaz]

praying doesn't help you... What helps is to remember that bad thoughts are your emotions lying to you, trying to distract you from beneficial thoughts. Make the effort to purposefully tell yourself that every time you have a bad thought. Then, write down beneficial thoughts, and don't let negative thoughts keep you from doing so. Anything and everything positive you can possibly think of. Then, pick some of those thoughts and focus solely on those, and everytime you find yourself wandering into negative territory, remember that person/thought is lying to you and dismiss it outright, and go back to positivity. Practice that every time, every day and eventually you will start to move into different thinking. It takes practice, and patience, and little by little you will find change.

[@hwy1310]

Currently going through the end of a 6 year relationship, I can’t imagine my life without her . We’ve shared everything and I still love her tremendously. Found this video, thank you very much for the advice. Somehow, I’ll make it through this, but it’s really painful.

[@Jackkenway]

I'm so sorry to hear that, for what it's worth, you are catastrophizing when you think you can't live without her, God forbids if you broke up, you will be fine, it will be painful of course, but it's not as worse as your brain is making you feel it is, you don't and can't know what happens, you can only imagine, so stop yourself from doing that. And I'm in no way undermining what you had with her, I'm only reminding you that you don't have to think about that situation that way.

[@vikramkohli8380]

I can relate. I went through one recently. you will start getting back to normal in due time. You will come out better version of yourself. Keep busy my brother from another mother. 🙏

[@zeeshanshaikh4508]

Hang in there pal

[@lindastorey5194]

You will get through this and eventually realise that it was the best thing to grow and get strong. From a survivor. I wish you much strength and send you love Linda

[@rasdasa]

Exactly what's happening to me right now, we were together for the same amount of time as well. This comment gave me solace in at least knowing I'm not alone in this, I knew it already, but still. Hope you are doing well.

[@Bprimemod]

I don't wanna self diagnose or anything but an hour ago I think I was kind of having an anxiety attack (again I don't wanna sound like I'm self diagnosing and belittling the people who actually go through it). I suppose it was some kind of an attack because it was something so new, so intense. I was shivering so i got into the bed (I'm still there), my hands and throat felt like they were burning, I had muscle twitches and just felt really really really anxious. Then to distract myself I found this video and I've been watching it over and over again. This was really soothing and a lifesaver to be honest. Thank you a lot for this :) To anyone who's going through this or anything that is upsetting, you're definitely NOT alone and I'll be praying for all of us. Everything you feel is valid, totally understandable and I love you. 💜

[@Liam.Lacoste]

3 years later, how are you doing now? Have you had panic/anxiety attacks since? I sincerely hope you're doing well.

[@Bprimemod]

@Liam.Lacoste Hello there! Thank you so much for paying this comment such attention. Thank you for being so kind 🧡 I'm actually so much happier! I guess I was in the second year of dental school, and I graduated 4 months ago! I think all my anxiety, all those struggles I had was due to that, actually 😅 Ever since I graduated, I'm doing so much better! Thank you and how are you?

[@Liam.Lacoste]

@@Bprimemod Awesome!! I'm really glad, and congratulations :D I'm doing alright, feeling a bit stressed lately but it's nothing I can't get through :) Have a lovely day my friend

[@Bprimemod]

@Liam.Lacoste If you ever need to talk, I'm down for a chat, just letting you know! I know you can get through it 💪 You have a lovely day too and the loveliest life ever! 😊

[@Rayowag]

I love the framework of imagining getting through it and surviving and later on thriving. It's the mindset tool that's helped a significant amount with a big fear I have that is inevitable due to death being a component in it.

[@susanelliott2287]

Thank you so much for your inspiring talk. I suffer from clinical depression and catastrophise about being left alone if my husband were to die as he is not in good health. You have helped me a lot.

[@pennypiazza2769]

This video was so helpful! I’ve suffered with anxiety and depression since I was a child and have been in therapy for several years. I like how you discuss looking at the potential disasters and then strategizing. This brings a feeling of being in control. I’ve suffered with deep abandonment issues from infancy and have always looked for a “parental” figure in my life. With this outlook, I can learn how to be my own inner parent versus for looking for someone else to bring safety. Glad I found you here on KZbin. You’re brilliant

[@northpaul3276]

Good luck man

[@joshuab2437]

God is our Father

[@hemlethair2040]

You described the problem I've been having for years. I'm a 17 year old high school junior who's parents have been trying to divorce for 4 years. I've never gone to a therapist but I've been struggling with this exact problem. I always avoid doing almost anything because of the fear that people will hate me. This video really helped

[@hemlethair2040]

My father beat it into me that if I'm not perfect in the present my future will be hell

[@Blues90]

My goodness I needed to see this video. Intrusive thoughts are horrible!

[@facebookwisdom3560]

Indeed. I felt the same.

[@StrangePsyDays]

This is brilliant. Yes.... we seem to fear a specific outcome without really considering what that outcome really looks like or how life will be able to continue despite it. It's also important to separate feared outcomes when catastrophizing to an actual catastrophe because sometimes our minds can't seem to tell the difference between a threat to our life and and the loss of a relationship, embarrassment, car breaking down, losing a job etc. All these things are terrible and easy to fear, but it's too easy to get consumed and frozen by that fear as if we are trying to avoid death or worse. Life will go on. Visualize the outcome, go through it as if it was to happen and often you'll realize you were afraid of something very manageable despite how big it felt. The more you try run away, the bigger it gets.

[@pmbluemoon]

I tend to catastrophize now and then, and this really helped, I share these with my therapist and others taking care of me, and it really helps! I think you're a wonderful guy, and am so glad that I can share these with my caregivers and I'm also am going through EMDR, and thinking about this and practicing what you're saying with my therapist really adds an "extra point" to what we're trying to do to get me better, my therapist subscribed to your channel, and it's nice that she is willing to incorporate what is here into what we're doing. Thank you so much for all of your help! :)

[@Liam.Lacoste]

Thank you Mark, as always. Your videos are incredibly informative and interesting. With every video of yours I watch, I'm adding more tools to the toolbox! You're giving me hope in myself. Thank you.

[@sadia2395]

My anxiety is based on past..miscarriage,job loss,living alone,complete emotional abandoment from family and others,divorce,moving countries every 2 years..have gone through it all,all within 10 years.I really dont have much to lose anymore but at the same time dont have it in me to go through another crisis.Not afraid of dying but anxious about how much more struggle is to be done.Makin friends and exercisin,datin again, marryin again sounds easier ,it isnt in real life 😅

[@lulee7375]

The feeling of losing the plot when my anxiety is a constant is unbearable this can cause me to catastrophis about the most extreme and awful situations, 😖 hurts my head and weakens my body , trying to see it for what it is is so difficult when the little brain cell doing it is poisoning the rest, it's been a challenging time though and I'm still here , thanks for vid xx

[@JimCornetteIsMyDad]

I am a 47-year-old disabled person. Right now I rely on my mom to have to help me do everything. At 68 years old I know she doesn't have a ton of time left. That scares the crap out of me. I mean I can't even get out of bed by myself. And I think about it all the time.

[@kingterry2020]

Thanks mate, you make me feel sane. Huge weight lighted knowing I’m not the only one that does this

[@MYMIDLIFEEDIT]

Thank you! I have a nasty habit of catastrophizing the future, creating my own suffering in most cases as the things I worry about never come to pass. However, many times in my life, my worse case scenario DID happen, therefore I am conditioned to catastrophize. Your tips will be helpful to me! Thanks!

[@Sclil111]

I’ve had so many traumas in my life it’s hard to imagine a better future.

[@brilliantphoto5992]

I like it that u dun deny things might be tough but help your client realistically and rationally visualise what they have to go through and help them realise they can live through the difficult period, or even thrive.

[@bengrant1201]

I know I need to stop catastrophizing. It's utterly destroyed my life. It's impossible to even exist

[@godhams]

I've come to the conclusion that my mind has a mind of its own & likes to be in control! It goes towards the negative & what if that happens (it's going to be soo bad!) I try & encourage my mind to think about the positives but it's not interested...my mind knows what I'm up to (trying to change course) & won't have any of It! My mind likes to upset me & pops bad memories into my head (which it knows I don't want to think about ever again) so I've decided to let the memory walk through my head to the other side & not get upset about it, meanwhile thinking about something else or just concentrating on what I'm doing at the time😊 it's a work in progress!

[@shirleykaye4344]

Another good video. I especially like that you spent the effort to validate the client's feelings all along the way.

[@ngonigriffith1491]

I worry about so many things pertaining to my future that it causes me a lot of anxiety and fear. Didn't know it was called catastrophizing. I've been doing it for quite some time now. Thanks for the video.

[@realmofdegeneracy3476]

Dude I'm not even your client and I feel calm and at ease just listening to you talk about other people's baggage.

[@strangeaslife]

What an absolutely amazing approach! I cannot thank you enough! I have spent days literally watching videos on this topic and yours was the first to hit the points I needed to hear. Anyone who gets to work with you on a personal level is very lucky. I wish more people were aware of the bit about validating the persons present state and that their fear could in some sense be true. I often find myself feeling worse when I share with other and now I understand why. Too bad we dont teach some of these things in basic psych classes in high school... it would be a much better world if we did! Thanks!

[@leahclarkmusic5762]

My personal anxious thought about the future is that by the end of my life I’ll sit back and be unsatisfied and wish I’d done it differently and be regretful. I’m only 20 but I think about this CONSTANTLY and feel pretty constant anxiety because of it.

[@nathanteso]

I find myself thinking about the end of life and the same thing u do all the time and I sadly haven’t found a solution to it yet😞 also aging scares me a lot

[@leahclarkmusic5762]

@@nathanteso same I’m hoping I can just let things be and enjoy the ride!

[@Historytellings]

I learned to use it for myself. I Think about the end of my life and identify what I would regret not doing, and How I would live life differenetly. This actually gives me a clear sense of what I want and don't want in my life. I hope this might help you and I wish you a meaningful life.

[@Sophie-gw9sw]

Wow I related to this little comment thread so much 🥺 I’m 22 years old & for the past week + I can’t help but almost be fixated on the fact that we’re all going to die & then I start to think I am not doing enough. I am struggling a lot with trying to find a way to deal with these awful intrusive thoughts :( I appreciate you sharing

[@leahclarkmusic5762]

@@Sophie-gw9sw I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve been struggling! I know that feeling all too well. In this past year though I actually became a Christian and I honestly don’t suffer with this kind of anxiety anymore. It’s so freeing! Hope you feel better soon. Remember, social media makes these things worse!! (Insta mainly)

[@L_MD_]

This is broken down and explained in a really clear and helpful way.

[@thegamingrelish9272]

This is awesome I suffer with depression and anxiety and I let that ruin my relationship I always catastrophized about the negatives of the relationship of the past or the future and not being present in the moment and enjoying myself with my partner and being grateful for having her by my side. She’s given me a second chance and I’m going to change my mindset and be more positive and more understanding and not to fear about the past or future as they are only a figment of our imagination.

[@cintiameyrelles6519]

Really good. !! Mark explains in such a clear way, that makes it easier to cope with our issues.

[@Zoydian]

I've always feared what would happen if my relationship would ever end. I knew it wouldn't be me who would end it, and that it would be a catastrophe for me. So when the relationship actually ended, all my fears and associated pain came true. And now, almost one year after the event, I still feel pretty much the same. I don't want anyone else, because, to me, that person was the love of my life, and I never go for 'second best'. I rather remain alone and sad.

[@tazpoochie]

If you lived a hundred miles away you prob would have never met “the love of your life “ but you would have met another love of your life . You are limiting yourself with this way of thinking and it’s causing unnecessary pain

[@Zoydian]

@@tazpoochie Thanks for your words! I'm still alone, but I find refuge in my hobbies. I'm pretty comfortable this way, actually.

[@tazpoochie]

@@Zoydian you will discover a strength you didn’t know you had !. I have been where you are a couple of times ( unbelievably painful and lonely ). Some of us feel deeply unfortunately. Please don’t make the mistake of saying to yourself “ she was the one “ . I wish you all the best my friend . You was probably the better person . Her loss I say !

[@chillycheeks5318]

Fabulous. Thanks. So helpful.

[@vishwas.8780]

Your voice is so soothing and calming. Thanks I feel much better

[@teona819]

Loved this video. It helped me through a tough moment in my life.

[@AnugrahEdmonds]

I really appreciate you sharing this knowledge with the world.

[@violetsinspring5863]

Thank you for this! I’m a big catastrophizer!

[@DihelsonMendonca]

Congratulations for the catastrophizing videos. It has helped me to deal with some ways of thinking. I relate to some of them like: "What happens if I lose my mom ?" She's 80 now. She's my life. What happens if I get an incurable disease ? 😮😮😮

[@fact-u3650]

Yup..This is what I want people to tell to me 😊👍 i will do the same to people who feel bad about their future. Thanks doctor

[@faegrrrl]

Finally, someone who is honest!! Thank you so much!! This really helped me.

[@nigelgeorge43]

Thanks ❤️ Helping me alot. I've suffered GAD and been off work for a month. Now shy to go back to work. Having low self esteem

[@lilsparrow7845]

For me, its a current situation with multiple potential outcomes and I default to the worst case scenario of the situation I am going through.

[@theamalgamatedtheory]

Me too my friend

[@jeaniemarkel360]

This was brilliant!!! Thank you for helping me deal with my anxiety.

[@addysaw]

You are amazing! My boyfriend and work partner died 3 weeks ago and I can not stop catastrophic thinking. I hope it subsides

[@RobGravelle]

Ironically, no event is worse than sever anxiety or depression!

[@theamalgamatedtheory]

Yes are you still there? What can we do?

[@RobGravelle]

@@theamalgamatedtheory What can we do? FIGHT!!!

[@brattyhack]

I love your definition of emotional security

[@debramurphy9193]

Sometimes the future is a catastrophe. Sometimes there is no hope for anything good.

[@kathleenc8810]

I understand how you feel, don't look at screens much, that's what I had to do.

[@wewillwalkthroughwalls8763]

This is so calming and useful.

[@Craigo-xg5mc]

This is the only helpful video I have watched on this subject. I find that simplicity is key in psychology. Thank you!

[@yoonique9150]

Thank you very much, it is truly helpful!

[@hamishkay3010]

I'm always going to fear the future it makes me fucking paranoid 😢😢😢😢. I just want to stay young forever and never die because that stuff really affects me all the time. I also hate it because I think time is going way too fast.

[@chuckreindollar759]

Excellent advice and timely for me.

[@Melly16yr10]

I have being having anxiety about my future in the getting a home and job. Been freaking me out a lot.

[@AriMelim]

same 😩

[@beacurnearecurvata188]

I use to have this kind of thinking and I never thought I would get rid of it but I was so wrong. I think just like a "normal" person now.

[@MonaMona-rz3us]

What did you do cz I'm suffering a lot I spend my whole doing predicting catastrophies cz of a problem I faced 2 years ago I'm living in the past and predicting black future I'm exhausted

[@pertelote4526]

What about reality-based catastrophising? What about people who live with their elderly parents and sooner or later will have to take care of them, day in day out? What about those who fear war or those who become extremely anxious because populism, racism and religious intolerance are on the rise in their country?

[@Jesus-rz4ke]

Stoicism.

[@gwal93]

We would be in a bad place if it wasn't for those that hope for the best but plan for the worst. Imagination of bad things happening is key to humanities survival. Not only do these superheros have to fight the uncertain future but they often have to fight the overoptimistic.

[@Rayowag]

Well, those people should develop plans instead of thinking about it repeatedly. If you fear for having to caretake your parents then learn about caretaking laws and best practices and what the alternatives are to doing it yourself so your future self has less overwhelm once it happens. For the other examples the solutions range from growing resilience to fleeing the country. If a worry is real life based you make plans so it's less catastrophic.

[@stellashaw295]

A great video Mark, and especially relevant at this Pandemic moment. Thank you for all of your valuable work.

[@woodsybransfield]

Sure Maggie absolutely loves the fact that you’re chatting about her deepest neuroses on KZbin.

[@fiatlux6267]

this video is really helpful. thank you❤

[@VS-eb1fl]

3 Steps: 5:15, 6:17, 10:10

[@robbieleeson6341]

Thank you very much sir - I've just got a puppy and I have severe tinnitus too. This is going to be such a blessing, and I'm rehearsing for myself how I'll thrive with her. Bless you.

[@arthurcollis4908]

Really helpful. Very thoughtful. Practically applicable. Thank you 🙏

[@iloveyellow7214]

I love that the youtube alogrithm recommended your channel to me. Your tips and lessons are heaven sent Thsnk you so much for talking some sense to my brain and also explaining how to cope in these times Be safe and healthy

[@whatsnew7139]

I tend to catasrophize everything. Health job especially i work in a high stress job family theft problems getting into troubles everything. Lately I'm trying to challenge myself. Starting with the small things like eating without washing the spoon again. Challenging the absurd thoughts

[@rossanapettersen]

Excellent video! thank you

[@peterburkhalter6344]

Hi mark. I usually don't ingest this type of content but stumbled across a couple of your videos and they've all been great. Your insights have proved to be fruitful for me. How should I pronounce the word "root"?

[@MB-zy4cm]

This is me . I need to take notes on this video!!!

[@berritandersen288]

Good content! Thanks!

[@tankaddict9147]

My dad is going through a rather serious blood condition but it is very treatable...but yet I can't help Catastrophising about the worst possible outcome :')

[@sidshivam]

It was best video on the subject so far!

[@stefaniasmanio859]

Hi you are a great healer.

[@JohnRyan-pm8mu]

Thank you sir for your wise words!!

[@CarnivalofLVX]

What about now? Is it catasrophizing when there’s a worldwide pandemic?

[@TerranigmaQuintet]

It is the pickle I am at. I understand, usually catastrophizing is easy to overcome, but if you are afraid to dead for this virus, to the point of constant anxiety it is way harder, because in my case it would mean actually having to face getting it, with a chance it might actually kill u. COnsidering I am overweight, and the fact all that stressing also lowers the immune responses, that puts me in a higher risk category.

[@eddykohlmann471]

The odds are less than a million

[@neoncat9573]

You do have a certain amount of control over the pandemic by following the guidelines: wearing a mask, washing your hands, avoiding close contact with people, remaining six feet apart from people, etc.

[@kathleenc8810]

@@TerranigmaQuintet my heart goes out to you

[@kbkesq]

Here wondering how this applies to those of us who worry globally- will there be a true banking crisis etc. one one hand it’s based on rational risks because the financial system is risky and yet it could be worrying for no reason- or at least won’t happen in the near future.

[@PropertyVlogsUK]

Thank you Mark! I love this!!

[@jgilbertson636]

I don't think this works is the feared event turns out to be traumatic. It's been 9 years since my abusive husband left me and I'm still not thriving due to PTSD. Sonetimes we don't thrive. Which makes me catastrophize about future events as I know that not-thriving is a real possibility.

[@nonexistenty4152]

This helped me so so much....thank you

[@DailyFactsMY]

For me, I'm catastrophizing on the new job whether I can do well or not. And thinking to the extent of get fired from the new job.

[@BrandonVSPixels]

Dude you are awesome! Thanks for giving me great advice :)

[@r011ing_thunder6]

Realistic thinking is what I neeeedd

[@luismiguel5719]

excellent contribution

[@txnygotw]

Many of my clients are unwilling to really think about their fears. They're afraid they will "invite" that particular event into their lives because of the "law of attraction". Or they will quote a "mind control" course they once took that said they mustn't think about bad things. Kind of ruining their own options for getting rid of fear.

[@Cosmuex]

I had to confront this by myself

[@chrissemenko628]

The "law of attraction" is soooo powerful. It does and will manifest what you're giving attention to.

[@Rayowag]

People truly were taught so much wrong stuff about the law of attraction that I'm genuinely sorry for them. They bypass the processing of their worst emotions still stuck in the nervous system on loop (which by theirs definition of it would kinda be the reason it continues on endlessly).

[@StHieronymus]

Great video, Mark. Thank you for this.

[@odet_123]

But the thought i always have is what if my mom and dad died. It is an idea that never leavs me. I am a uni student who stops even study because of this. I contacted a psychologist. I am taird like So taird

[@godsloveforthegrievingwido7688]

Hello thanks so much I have a question I recently lost my husband and I'm having a difficult time trying to retrain myself through this new journey that I'm on I speak to several widows is there any advice for us. Thank you so much in advance

[@patrickwhite6364]

This is essentially "regression towards the mean." Our highs and lows ultimately return to center.

[@radicalhonesty3628]

I try and watch this video but my mind is so distracted, I'm in sheer paralyzed panic. I've got no money. what the fuck am I going to do? I'm in paralyzed terror. I'm desperate for a miracle...

[@theamalgamatedtheory]

I know me too sorry

[@neelroy2918]

As the wise dialogue in "My Best Friend's Wedding" goes: this too shall pass. I wonder if he has similar video about intellectulizing.

[@RobGravelle]

I once catastrophized before traveling across the country to my cousin's wedding that I would be anxious and puke in front of everyone. Meanwhile, the rational part of my brain kept saying "who the hell cares". IRRATIONAL thinking at its best.

[@matthewalderink8180]

Im always catastrophizing about the future im broke and i dont have a car so im always worried my bike tires gonna pop or the bus will be unreliable and ect

[@indigoziona]

How can we apply this to wider calamities, like climate change?

[@joshuab2437]

trust in God

[@frenzysporetv3431]

@@joshuab2437 a god that lets these things happen?

[@frenzysporetv3431]

@@joshuab2437 god created satan. Its the same as someone making a poison and then blaming the poison for the harm and not himself

[@joshuab2437]

@@frenzysporetv3431 It was humanity that disobeyed God in the Eden garden of God by taking the forbidden fruit

[@frenzysporetv3431]

@@joshuab2437 if you created a robot to specifically be flawed, how can you blame it for said flaw? It's like dropping an apple on the ground and being mad that the apple splattered all over.

[@ShatteredRippleBooks]

What if you are so scared you can't get out of the door alone. Yet you know that you are going to be forced to return to work. Because the department for work and pensions are forcing you in that direction despite having a sick note from the doctor?. I know I can't do it I've tried to get out alone I just panic. So I don't know how I'm going to get through this. I've tried telling myself I can do it. I've tried to do it in my head, I'm absolutely terrified 😨.

[@robertzimmer8311]

This is good advice considering we're all completely screwed anyway....

[@bramblehaze04]

If i feel something at peace im getting always scared what if i dont feel it anymore

[@lara-oz4ou]

I am afraid of people's expectations of the future and how scary it is

[@74row]

I think you're fantastic

[@trishgonzalez2693]

Do people in the UK say the word "out" as "oot"? If not, why say "root" instead of "route"?

[@MountainGram112]

Funny this was BC. (before covid) makes these issues seem too simple

[@geetbhardwaj3879]

thanks

[@heyfitzpablum]

LOL We do say 'root' for 'rout', at least in my region of America. Upper midwest. We're not all country bumpkins.

[@mayankmishra3788]

excelllentttt