How To Stop Getting Offended Too Easily

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It's easy to get offended when we take what someone does or says about us personally - but when we take a step back and look at things with more objectivity we can see that very little of what someone does or says is actually personal. So if what they are saying isn't actually personal, why does it bother us so much, and why do we get hurt, upset or irritated by it? In this talk we're going to look at why we often get offended so easily, and what we can do to build a more robust and sturdy sense of self.
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ABOUT JULIA:
Julia Kristina, MA, is a speaker, teacher, master therapist and mental wealth coach who helps smart, highly sensitive, heart centred humans get past anxiety, stress, and self-doubt so they can have better: Better relationships, a better life and feel better about themselves.
Through her membership program, The Shift Society, she helps people identify their deep rooted thoughts and beliefs that are keeping them stuck and struggling, and then teaches them how to take charge of their minds and emotions so they can thrive in all areas of their lives.
Julia’s expertise has been featured in Inc magazine, Psych Central, Mind Body Green and numerous other publications, podcasts and television outlets. She has also given talks in front of audiences of hundreds on stages across North America. Videos on her KZbin channel have been watched more than 15 million times and she has built a community of over 375,000 people across social media platforms. When she’s not helping her clients and students increase their emotional intelligence and mental strength, she’s out on some kind of adventure with her three children in Vancouver, Canada.

[@kianaraymond3012]

The 4 agreements. Is a good read as well. Being easily offended is definitely a struggle for me… sigh 😔

[@ChildofGod98765]

Lord Jesus please keep me encouraged because being a single mother with two special needs children is overwhelming and challenging I’m desperately trying to provide for them. Lord give me strength as I continue to struggle to buy groceries and as I struggle to pay rent. Please Lord change my situation. I believe.❤️❤️

[@malaymondal280]

Obiviously God will change your situation

[@EmbraceTheStruggle24]

I'm praying 🙏 for ya

[@thenebraskan6977]

May Our Lord Bless You And Your Children ❤❤❤🙏🌈 !

[@gigicatluvr9551]

🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

[@sharonp4106]

BINGO! Found mine--"reacting to a pain, vulnerability or hurt from the past". Paying more attention and working on this! 👍❤

[@NFSMAN50]

Helllo friend Julia, this is very great advice. Its definitely tough for us highly sensitive folk to not get offended or take things personally, but its definitely good to learn to not take things personally. Hope you are doing well Julia!

[@elizabetholdeman7566]

You're very helpful I love how you are so understanding, comprehensive and without creating conflict, just helping to understand Great content Thank you

[@Marekcatholic]

I want to work on the last point mentioned, namely to get curious and go deeper, as to what wound or belief is being irritated right now. To learn to identify it better. Thank you Julia!

[@Elise-nt2gc]

Tips for mental health: being outside 5 minutes a day or longer,Decluttering, colder showers, exercise, vitamins like magnesium, eating healthy, music, gratitude, therapy, avoiding excessive sugar and caffeine. Getting to bed earlier which is better for circadian rhythm. Sunshine in the morning. No screens at night. Avoiding scrolling and news. Being with those who bring you to the best version of you. Activities you enjoy. Journaling. Cold water in the morning. Red light mask. Turning your phone to more red light instead of blue. Take things one day at a time or one step. Small changes and small goals. Have hope I want whoever reading this to stay alive. What helps me in thinking about all the people who will miss me those I have impacted or met in any way who have smiled at me etc. Thanks for reading

[@williamheredia7301]

Greetings from Seattle....great content and very easy to understand your points 👍

[@EmbraceTheStruggle24]

Hi Julia, i just wanted to say this was a very important topic you covered because as somebody that has struggled with autism all throughout my life, i think its extremely crucial that i share from the heart that i must admit that i can easily get startled and grumpy if something really gets the better of me but maybe thats just me being an HSP or an imposter...or possibly both. And with the pessimistic epidemic that seems to be getting worse....all i can say is that i just try to surround myself with people (and youtube content 😅) that im certain will be beneficial for me. Ive come to realize and accept that being neurodivergant is not easy by any means, but ive learned to embrace the challenge for what it is, and i feel genuinely valuable for having the courage and ability to share all of this, because i know there are others wanting to do the same thing but just either don't have the emotional intelligence or level of education necessary to do so. Whatever the case might be, just keep believing in the natural ability the Lord gave you, and you never know what can happen. Blessings 🙏 🙏 ❤ ❤

[@Ben_D.]

Amazing timing for this to pop into my feed. I had a really rough day yesterday. Sometimes humans just REALLY are hard to deal with, and when it comes in waves, I get overwhelmed. I was feeling like a Sin Eater from the old days, carrying everyone elses pain. I need to see this vid again. A couple times.

[@dianep6335]

trying to remember to observe, not absorb, people's opinions of me

[@lesliengo8347]

The first thing I do when someone says a mean comment to me is taking deep breathes. Then I reply by saying something like "what made you say that?" When the person leaves, I then challenge the mean comment in my head. Not every time someone says something mean to me I am successful at not being triggered. I think it is also okay to feel triggered and regulate ourselves when we get triggered.

[@yerabbit6333]

I feel like the way you've explained this to be very helpful for myself, but also for my kids. They struggle with this a lot, and this seems like a really helpful way to look at things. Thank you!

[@stevecatanio8532]

I'm amazed you have endless great topics. 😂❤🎉

[@zakiamwoma4647]

Every topic is explained clearly and down to its roots

[@fairygurl9269]

"Make Good Choices" ❤

[@raiderlove5923]

I have a problem with getting offended as a direct result of someone setting off one of my triggers. Thankfully, I am seeing a therapist and they are helping me discover that it comes from the emotional and psychologically harmful way my mother raised me. If that makes sense.

[@chrisdigitalartist]

Hi Julia! Senior Shifter Chris here: How to Stop Getting Offended Too Easily. I think since being a Shifter, I have grown so much doing the inner work, that I feel much better about myself because I have clearer and secure thoughts about myself. This has helped me to rely on myself to bounce back when someone may say something that might be hurtful, doesn’t mean that I still won’t be offended or hurt, but it isn’t as intense like it used to be. I also have noticed that I am more aware of what others are going through as well, doesn’t give them the right to be hurtful, but I do, at least understand or try to understand. It helps to remind myself that “This isn’t about me.” Here are my notes: *First thing to stop getting offended too easily is to get clear and secure on your own thoughts about yourself. *Don't outsource your sense of self to other people. (Don't go about how people think about you to think about yourself.) *Garbage analogy: People are going through life with stuff inside of them. It is NOT your mess to pick up and carry. *Take a step back and consider what the person is saying and deciding if there is anything helpful in that feedback. *Choosing NOT to take offense. *Decide NOT to take offense. *Go a little deeper, and GET CURIOUS.

[@johnny_roots]

Thanks that was a great summary

[@chrisdigitalartist]

@@johnny_roots Thanks! I am always glad my notes are helpful!

[@zakiamwoma4647]

Great lesson. I watch this almost daily. Being easily offended is usually a great show of weakness. I used to get easily offended,but I continue to work on it and developing a thick skin.

[@My.Own.Flashlight]

THANK YOU for this lesson ❤

[@douglasmcgregor5511]

This is the sort of thing I wish I'd known ten years ago! When someone tries to come on to you and ends up calling you an alcoholic. All unprovoked. I've never even tried to let any girls in after that. Before I understood these things I ended up agreeing with that and letting it define me. I was in a very really vulnerable place emotionally and mentally at the time. It's like a word curse. Learning about narcissism and empaths brings a lot of healing.

[@WhiteMouse77]

How? Grow! Mature! Get strong! Walk over you ego! Learn stoicism! Become fully responsible for your emotions!

[@clausm2203]

Great topic 🙂🙏

[@OkanaganSerenity]

In acknowledgment of National Indigenous People Day, I would like to thank the OKIB. There was a 2 day work shop, Mending Broken Hearts: Healing from Unresolved Grief and Intergenerational Trauma. Learning I changed myself for myself. Discovering what habits we have formed in coping( or not coping) with trauma and loss and identifying what patterns have developed in our lives as a result. They treated this long legged, redhead with freckles with so much compassion. After being completely overwhelmed and boundaries crossed in unfortunate past session's. A clear rejection is always better than a fake promise. Help is everywhere.

[@themurnane7]

This was so good! Thank you 😊

[@michelleveloni1329]

Thank you

[@banthatracks_gaffisticks]

Soul Star ✨

[@Nina-ur3ld]

Can you make a video about heartbreak and hurt feelings?

[@locust334]

I love your work as always, something Bruce Lee said sticks with me. I don't remember the act words but the sentiment was according to who? I like to make little rules for myself so whenever I get caught up with this stuff I'm going to try and focus on that and you and Bruce Lee lol, and ask myself according to who?

[@Chris-hp2gg]

Don't lose your sense of humor.😂

[@davmej100]

What microphone do you use?

[@mervatgmansour]

I am mervat

[@macoeur1122]

Sounds to me like this "person" at your family gathering felt that you and your sister were placing too high a value on "coolness". I think there are certain personality types who are really bothered by this. Often they have known malignant narcissists who are very charismatic and have learned the hard way that "coolness" is over-rated and very often a red flag. They are disappointed by those who value "coolness" too highly....They feel it suggests a kind of immaturity and lack of intelligence.

[@JohnSmith-ks5xw]

This language is confusing and will keep you trapped if you subscribe to it. Nobody can "make you feel" a certain way. If you really want to actually resolve your emotional issues, you MUST take responsibility for your emotions. Stop saying "I feel", "you made me feel", "that triggered me", "that offended me". Every time you use language in your thoughts or speech that something in the outside world CAUSED your emotion, you are trapping yourself. And you will NOT be free until you fix this specifically, regardless of all the other 'therapies' or 'modalities' you try. Period.

[@JaysonT1]

I was going to watch this but remembered that I'm not a Liberal 😝

[@lesliengo8347]

What?