How to Stop Interrupting People (Don't Be That Person!)

[@slava-keshkov]

I tend to interrupt when - I'm very excited about the topic and have ideas to add - I feel comfortable with the person I talk to - When I think person is going to do/ take something wrong - Time is under pressure I tend to speak up less when - another person has authority - Time is not an issue in a conversation

[@EButta71]

Pretty much the same for me

[@breathedeeply7467]

Thank you for these notes

[@SIR.ALESSANDROTONELUCCI]

"I love the fact that you said:"Knowledge is not power yet,the application of knowledge is."(Powerful!!!)🤙🇮🇹♊️💪

[@kisimi_kamara]

I am in healthcare and communication with patients and family is very important. Im getting lots of tips from you. Sometimes I have to interrupt patients who go on a tangential. I like to learn the best ways to do it without looking bad.

[@scotthughes7440]

I interrupt and don't mean to. I hate myself for it but am unaware in the moment.

[@theliterarytarot]

My dad was loud, always speaking over everyone and it became a coping mechanism. I also had social anxiety and a speech impediment so I wasn’t taken seriously. I saw someone else comment here with a similar experience. I wasn’t even aware that I did this for a long time. Thanks for this video.

[@matthmanning]

Very valuable teaching. Practicing self-governance is important. No one likes a know it all who interrupts. I am now following Dr. Lee. No one is too old to learn new ways.

[@DrGraceLee]

I appreciate you, Matt!

[@weil9525]

Interesting video. I noticed that I tend to interrupt someone when I have ideas to add or I don't agree what they are saying. So I interrupt them to insert my ideas, especially on the topics that I am passionate about. For topics that I don't know much, I do tend to listen more and ask questions (probing) in the conversation. I find that's how I learn from the experts is by asking questions.

[@ms.jackson966]

Omg I am that person 😥

[@elizabethwelty2370]

I was not heard as a child and adult , because of my speech impediment. I am not taken seriously when it comes to expressing myself. So when get something on my mind to say , then it forgotten by the time the person is talking gets done talking. It's also a habit I got from authorities talking over me , then don't let me talk when it's my turn. By the time it's my turn , I am so frozen with fear. I can not think straight. After wards , I have lost my chance to express myself . I have bottle it up , or express it in another way it is unsatisfying. I don't work anymore, but I am tired unaware of my interrupting my love ones.

[@theliterarytarot]

Same!

[@hersoulMusic]

I learned that when I interrupt I am asserting myself based on something that someone else has or doesn't have.

[@katebangert4528]

Wow. Dr. Lee thank you for sharing such insightful information.

[@wechoosetogether]

Your points are valid. I am searching for ways to help me stop interrupting as an ADHDer. I think your video is when all things are considered equal, however, the numbers are growing for people with ADHD and I think 1 in 10 have it now with the advent of smart phone usage. You might consider sharing tips for them.

[@mphhumanfactors]

As a social scientist, I agree with you on many points, (and perhaps you have another video on this somewhere) but you should really demonstrate examples for people on "Principled" communication. This is what many interruptors don't understand - that, and the anxiety that drives them to always insist on thinking of what they want to say next before you are even done speaking. My husband drives me absolutely CRAZY with this. He very seldom lets anyone finish a sentence, and he's insistent that he's going to forget what HE wanted to say, instead of letting the conversation flow naturally. He is high anxiety, and also very poor in his validation skills. When I say validation, I mean the simple act of responding to what is said- whether it is favorable or unfavorable. You can agree or disagree and still validate someone by listening. Anyhow...thanks for this. I wanted to shaer it with him, but you don't really drive your point home clearly enough or give enough examples for people like my ADHD/anxious husband to really understand.

[@EmmaRonan]

Great video, thank you . I would love to see you give examples of what you are teaching in role play

[@Princess-pw1qt]

How have I learned not about myself in the last 12 minutes that in the entirety of my adult existence. Thank you so much for this. I never knew why I was passive around men, and interrupt women. It’s a hard truth to handle but a great first step to self improvement and self governance! First video of yours I’ve seen and wow! Impressed!

[@Miizyvt]

the think is tho Im not passive or aggressive, while my boyfriend is talking I tend to interrupt him. its not purposely and I juts get is excited that I do. its caused a ton of problems and I wanna help. im still os confused after watching all these videos.

[@slava-keshkov]

Haha same story it's not that easy to apply to personal relationship

[@775shahrukh]

a thorough apporach..m inspired DR.

[@hychannel555]

Great tips here, but I wish u would gone more in-depth about what are and how to practice "self-governance", "principled" and "active communication". Maybe you explained it each in other videos, I'll have to pull them up.

[@belonysaint-vil3300]

It’s better to keep it passive. Otherwise, your audience may view you as an ill-mannered person who interrupts an interlocutor who essentially speaks to his/her audience.

[@BrendanB-1979]

I see another reason for interrupting other than a need to assert oneself. It may come from a place where the interruptor believes the speaker "needs" to hear what you have to say. This is not good, of course, but I believe there may be more than just the one underlying reason presented here for being the interrupter.

[@useruser-dr1fr]

I feel like this is my issue. I am working to be better for myself and relationships

[@LouveniaMusic]

Yeah I definitely interrupt sometimes because I’m a know it all. Not because I feel I’m lacking... There are so many reasons for interrupting. Impatience with slow talkers, to verify something the person said, to try and relate or validate by interjecting. Because you can see where the speaker is headed and you disagree with their logic and don’t want to waste time.

[@TinaBelde]

I interrupt because I've already had the thought a couple of times and I don't want to forget or I get excited and I start talking loud(in a good way).

[@susiedemy]

I have a colleague that constantly interrupts me during meetings. I learned here that she might be feeling inadequate and I sometimes go passive.

[@DrGraceLee]

Feel free to share this video to her!

[@taltalit2]

Greatfull for all these remainders

[@joejoyacademy]

Watching from Nigeria

[@DrGraceLee]

Welcome to my channel, Joseph!

[@aaagggmmmsss]

excellent topic

[@DrGraceLee]

I appreciate your comments. Thank you and welcome to my channel!

[@Universeleo19]

How to stop adding in to a conversation with family interrupting asking questions or opinions

[@graftme3168]

I'm used to not being listened to, more appropriately, I'm not really heard and understood. I interrupt the closest people in my life to let them know that I want to be heard also.

[@MelissaSedgwick]

I do this when I feel like I have the upper hand rather than when I feel they have the upper hand usually my upper hand is facts when they are incorrect. Although this is a reason why people interrupt others, It's not the only reason this happens.

[@MelissaSedgwick]

Me realizing I'm commenting at 2:21 minutes in 😅.

[@altheazane3173]

I'm a teacher and I do this all the time with my coworkers.....I'm embarrassed about it.

[@shanarobinson7672]

I’m guilty! Subscribing to this channel to get help.

[@Trixy99829]

Amber’s lawyers should watch this video haha

[@sandraaddae2779]

Q Dr. Lee I get so excited when I am speaking with someone....I tend to interrupt when I resonate with the speaker....but sometimes they don't get to their point....I am working on this?

[@iqramohamed7673]

I went from being silent in the class to taking and answering every questions my class mates was asked am like why would i be silent?then i became aggressive as you said but i done wanna interrupt them when they are answering i wanna stop it

[@iqramohamed7673]

They used to interrupt me when ever am talking eg am answering question when I open my mouth they also talking

[@drcatrinaking]

People interrupt me ALL THE TIME. I was TODAY years old when I realized it has more to do with their own insecurities 😅

[@judim5379]

I have recently been diagnosed with severe adhd at 36. I’m only barely exploring what my individual “symptoms” might be due to ADHD (and spending my life as undiagnosed) vs. What is more likely a result from also getting to have cptsd and ptsd…. So much of that defined distinction is so blurred or possibly can’t be known for sure….. ugh!! I wish there was a therapist locally or that I have ability to have access to anyway to help with that….

[@71greatdane]

@judim5379 Hi I can relate to your comment. I have Add and I think I have had it since childhood but was just diagnosed 10 years ago. I feel like I have always interrupted since when I was younger and I think the reason I interrupt it is because when I try to focus on and remember what to say back when others are speaking to me then I simply can’t remember what I want to say by the time people are done talking so I tend to interrupt. Wonder if you feel the same way? Also I resonate with what the Doctor is saying in the video when she says if you interrupt is to absurd power. As a child I was verbally abused by my dad. He would talk over us and shut us down and told us to be quiet if we disagreed with him. He would make my mom and brothers very small like we didn’t matter as a person, like our opinions didn’t matter. So I guess to some extent I interrupt to be in control and to voice I don’t agree with the other person also because I know more than the other person. Now I’m 53 and going on KZbin for videos to finally learn not to interrupt anymore. I hope I can finally learn it. I still take meditation for add but it still doesn’t stop my interrupting . But I think by training I hope I will learn not to interrupt so much.I wish you good luck in your quest that being said from a fellow Add person ;-)

[@attheranch4876]

I don’t get this, because I interrupt when I think I know more, not when I know less.

[@marlettamcclain1950]

I’m with you on this point.

[@andreafeather3295]

I seems you miss the situation where your input will correct errors and needs to be heard in kindness to the person continuing down the wrong path. Especially when you know more than they know.

[@joejoyacademy]

Great

[@zacharysherry2910]

I interrupt because everyone has been talking for twenty minutes straight and then they will leave quickly without acknowledging me.

[@womblytenrecpetit2845]

I have lost her half way....self control or self-governance is fundamentally the weakness most people struggle with. This sounds very theoretical. In a corporate environment there is limited possibility for self governance you are mostly living according to the corporate culture.

[@OCREJECT]

3:07

[@osonduchristabel7660]

My boyfriend said I’m always interrupting him.

[@wisdomok99]

He is correct