How to STOP Loving Your Ex

Amber writes, “Hi Susan. My question is how do you fall out of love with your ex who did nothing wrong, but the relationship didn't work out? My ex was my best friend and lover, our relationship fell apart and he quickly fell out of love with me. But for me it's taking a really long time, it's been 10 months since the breakup, and I still love him dearly. Thank you.”
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[@zulumagoo1]

If you lost the perfect person... You dont realize yet, that the perfect person, doesn't leave.

[@dariosergevna]

Really!! Good point!!

[@richardadkin7226]

The perfect person can leave, if the other person takes them for granted or breaches boundaries. That is on the other person.

[@theempire00]

Interesting perspective 🧐🧐

[@riceball1232]

This absolutely worked for me after I was broken up with during the honeymoon phase. At the beginning I could see his flaws rationally but not emotionally (meaning I was still emotionally attached to him despite knowing that he is not perfect), but as time passed, I started to really SEE his flaws emotionally and stopped liking him bit by bit. Time is the god of all things. If someone can leave you so suddenly, it means that person has always been guided by his/her infactuation towards you, not love. And that's already a red flag because it seems like he is not the kind of person who is mature enough to build a long term relationship with someone.

[@SusanWinter]

This is a wonderful share. Yes, 'time is the god of all things‚'-heartbreak related. thanks Alice

[@rprawl3185]

I’m here for this message. I’ve trapped myself in the closet of love by keeping old messages, constantly thinking of the good times and tricking my mind to believe the bad was good. Mind over matter and I’m ready to move on. Thanks for the insight Susan!

[@SusanWinter]

You’re very welcome!

[@3chickenlegs]

Me too....😁 isn't she so real and motivating?! Xx

[@catic6587]

It happens with time and work on yourself to become greater than what that relationship could have offered you. There's no shortcut. There's up and there's down, but as long as you keep moving, don't feed toxic thoughts, keep yourself busy enough with constructive things so that you keep on growing. The moment you stop,you go back.... Don't stop.

[@SusanWinter]

All of the above is absolutely true! Wonderful insight, Cato!

[@andersonlmjr]

Losing the person you love is only half the source of pain. It’s almost more painful to let go of the future life you thought you had with that person. The holidays, moments with the grandchildren and countless memories with the kids that will never be are almost unbearable. It’s those thoughts that haunt me.

[@ElaCanessaMusic]

Omg! I completely relate to this, that is what Susan calls “the dream” but the beautiful thing is that we can let go of the person but still keep the Dream they gave to us…accepting that they will no longer fit to that dream, but someone else will

[@urvashisingh2135]

" It is your mind that will set your heart free if it is locked in a cage of loving somebody, who doesn't love you back " - Susan Winter

[@mlantieri]

Hi Susan……I think the best way to get over someone is also to realize that YOU are the prize, not them. Cant love someone unless you love yourself first.

[@SusanWinter]

You’re are so very correct! Self love is the route to all happiness

[@kristyy2488]

Agree

[@lynnk4486]

Started counting the negatives of my ex an hour ago, I'm still counting 🤣 the list is long, what was I thinking???!! Thanks Susan you are an absolute tonic xx

[@SusanWinter]

You’re welcome! I’m glad the list gave you some clarity!

[@graysonchrisley7550]

@ Lynn k, I am in your shoes right now, but the positive traits keep popping into my head

[@ludmilaandr8793]

I totally get it. Initially I took a small piece of paper and thought I'd never fill it. But ended up filling A4 on both sides! And the biggest of crimes is that he actually let me go.

[@Ckyt572]

Same here. A long list but I keep thinking about the good things, like he was a really good kisser lol (but he told me once I was the best kisser and let me go anyway) 😥

[@josephdimauro7918]

Memory is truly a poet, not a historian. Perfect timing, thank you Susan. ❤️

[@SusanWinter]

Thank you for tuning in!

[@diegom-a7970]

Nice quote! Where is it from?

[@karenpaige1186]

Great video! Something that works for me when I want/need to let go of someone is: I visualize putting the person on a boat, we're at a marina, it's a beautiful day, and said person has been called away to continue his journey. I thank him for what he taught me, how he touched my life, and I wish him well. I wish him safe travels, good health, and piece of mind. Then I gently but surely push the boat onto the waves that carry him out towards the horizon. This really works!.. the feelings of gratitude and well wishes raise your vibration thereby attracting people who themselves are grateful and loving.

[@goodlove5573]

+ 1 ( 7 1 8 ) 5 6 7- 6 1 8 1

[@11cesarrenato]

that's beautiful

[@scrrsco1633]

this made my eyes water

[@zaink7037]

Wow what timing. Had a dream last night I saw her and we was walking around together in the city as if we were together. Woke up feeling upset and emotional. Really hate these dreams as it resurrects these special "love" emotions I used to have for her

[@SusanWinter]

Love it when that happens

[@ClaireRobinsonAyres]

I had a really hard time getting over my ex, who after 10yrs just decided he didn't love me anymore. It took 18-24months for me to stop feeling completely broken. I ended up doing something similar to this every few days to tell myself to move on. Good luck everybody.

[@jasonadam4423]

Thank you Susie! "We can't over dramatize what we had, if that narrative locks us in a cage"

[@SusanWinter]

YOU ARE WELCOME!!!

[@patty8945]

I decided to go out and have fun; met a group of people and started enjoying life again. Surprisingly and unexpectedly I felt happy having fun and realized he was not on my mind anymore. Great video! ❤️🥰😘

[@SusanWinter]

That’s the way to do it! Get out there and let the universe show you the way!

[@mahahassan369]

If they loved us they wouldn’t leave us.

[@a.j8558]

I was literally struggling with this and you video came in. It's a sign

[@SusanWinter]

Love it, love it. Thank you Universe!!!

[@mimi615ville]

You’re so wise & the way you approach questions in answering them is so well & clearly spoken. You have the rare ability to simplify things so eloquently yet easily understood. Thank you for your channel, time, energy, & care into helping others.

[@Diabeteslovewithdee]

Dear Susan, I just love your beautiful heart and words of wisdom about relationships. Thank You for sharing!

[@datingdiaries1681]

We love you Susan !

[@so.icynails8703]

Wow. I wish I had found this video a long time ago.. this must be one of the best pieces of advice I have gotten. One that even my own mother could never give me. Thank you Susan🙏🏽

[@Boutys_mom]

Wow!!!! Amazing advise Susan. Just wonderful info! Thank you girl.

[@fiae2897]

Thank you Susan, great advice 🇬🇧 ❤🙏🏼

[@alanna4148]

God knows I needed this video. I feel like Susan was talking to me and my direct situation

[@LouiseO78]

Love your videos Susan❤ You are the voice of reason and have helped me more than you realise xx

[@dinotrinh1693]

Susan, you are the best, I love hearing your advises.

[@lauralynn2210]

I have watched many video's about relationship advice and I have to say this video in particular is exactly straight to the point and accurate. This sums up so much heartache I learned on my own and have the same belief in every thing you mentioned. Sometimes the heart can be trapped in caught up "happier" memories and cannot be released, but the own self mind, glorified this individual and praised them up through own thoughts. You feel trapped in heartbreak. I wish I had seen this video years ago. But I want to validate everything you mentioned is true and good methods, even temporarily. Thank you for speaking about this ❤️

[@wandafossett8109]

Don't give up on life and the universe.... I know of a great man who helped me fix my broken heartbeat relationship and everything was restored to normal in days without delay..

[@wandafossett8109]

+1 ( 3 2 3 ) 9 1 6 9 1 6 9

[@abeach5420]

Once again Miss Susan . . . perfect points and shares....as always in all ways. Thank you for covering what is critical and just being 'you'.

[@SusanWinter]

You’re too kind!

[@ludmilaandr8793]

This method works like magic. I highly recommend actually writing down all the flaws big and small, every little thing that was less than perfect. It's quite an eye opener.

[@BillyBob-Stretch]

Really great advise Susan. Thank you.

[@luckyduckydaisyflower2344]

You are so wise, beautiful and fashionable too! Love your videos for years!! 💘

[@avaukulele]

Thanks Susan! You're amazing!

[@SusanWinter]

Thanks as well Ava

[@Whoarethey900]

Holy. I needed it right now.

[@SusanWinter]

Excellent. Good timing

[@fatimaa.farhat4004]

Thank you for ur wisdom Respect from the other side of the world 🌷

[@blissfulllife7625]

Amazing wisdom and advice ♥️

[@francescaborino418]

What a great make-uo, dear Susan. Your complexion is so radiant.

[@SusanWinter]

You’re so sweet! Thank you!

[@runer007]

Great advice. Too many coaches are bent on an unhealthy get your ex back pipe dream. Susan’s advice is spot on for me who are approaching half a year missing an ex who left me and do not want to come back at all!

[@wandafossett8109]

Don't give up on life and the universe.... I know of a great man who helped me fix my broken heartbeat relationship and everything was restored to normal in days without delay..

[@leonardciarra2649]

What's>App him for help

[@leonardciarra2649]

He is indeed problem solver

[@cbarry88]

Very helpful Susan, thank you

[@brego12317]

Susan,I massage that list real good. It is hard to look past sometimes but it does work! Thank you for the great advice as usual! Your amazing!

[@SusanWinter]

You’re very welcome!

[@TheSLK1973]

Perfect timing as usual......

[@allisonsanchez3295]

Thank you Susan! You always have the right words.

[@SusanWinter]

Thank you!!!

[@eclipse9440]

Thank you Susan, you are an absolute gem. .

[@SusanWinter]

Thank you Barbara

[@vickieb243]

Thank you! I needed to hear that!!

[@SusanWinter]

My pleasure!

[@EdrinXT]

Good lord this works! I wish you were my neighbour and friend :) Your videos have helped tremendously. I would go so far as to say potentially saved my life. Thank you so much for what you do

[@sarah3602]

I stopped loving them over time, however, now I hold resentment for the past experiences. I feel bitter but wish I felt indifferent.

[@EvaMariposa]

It's a normal stage you're going through. It's a positive sign that you are actually healing & seeing the ex for what he really is. Next stage will be indifference. Be patient & take this time to live out all the emotions. Don't try to suppress them. By identifying these emotions you are already on the right path to fully healing.

[@manthings1568]

You don't drown by falling in the water; you drown by staying there.

[@michaelmiller8455]

Ah yes. It's a lot like Star Trek: The next Generation; in many ways it's superior, but will never be as recognized as the original. I hope this helps heal some broken hearts out there. Sigh. What am I doing with my life.

[@SusanWinter]

@@michaelmiller8455 I love this!

[@SusanWinter]

You will be able to let go over resentment over time. It might not happen right away but one day you’ll wake up and realize that you are in a much better place

[@whatrtheodds]

Hi Susan. You are so good, love your work. I love seeing a confident & and mature woman, your very inspiring.💕💞✨🤓

[@Boodoo009]

Only ur mind can set ur heart free.... love it 100% ....truely an inspirational one

[@SusanWinter]

🤗

[@keilahtx]

Thank YOU for this

[@mbusomdletshe2659]

Thank you 💗 so much Susan,you video really helped me and I am so grateful.

[@ryanz486]

Funny enough the reason I searched this out, was to avoid thinking poorly of my ex. There are many things during our relationship that got to me, but always overlooked them for 'love'. Guess I'll finally need to put those front and center, which I suspect she did too, to be able to move on so easily.

[@texaseregistered3463]

and later on you will realize and glad it didn’t work out because you found someone way better, otherwise you wouldn’t have had the chance. The last resort to is to move on like maybe start dating go on eHarmony and tell yourself that you’re just fishing without expectations.

[@rhysedwards3221]

I find it madness that while in love.. We ignore red flags.. That we would not allow in other relationships. See the bad. It won't work. Move on.

[@gchase9433]

Thank you, Ms. Susan. We love you! From the Philippines. ❤

[@SusanWinter]

Hello there, Grace! 💕

[@aleksanderbazejczyk8133]

Started watching your videos today and I'm really glad I found this channel. Simply thank you...

[@wandafossett8109]

+1 ( 3 2 3 ) 9 1 6 9 1 6 9

[@gaoang3391]

Thanks for another great video from u !

[@SusanWinter]

Much appreciated!! Thanks Gao

[@ronaldharrison3005]

Thanks for another great video. On a side note, I have a young friend who's new to dating. I turned him on to your videos. I recommended "The Power of I Like You" and "The Sandbox theory". I can't wait to hear his reactions. Take care.

[@SusanWinter]

Thank you so much for recommending me and my videos! The Power of I Like You’ is one of my favorites as well

[@3chickenlegs]

Me again, same story... BRILLIANT!! And yes THANKYOU!! Come to London! 🇬🇧 Lets hang out!! 💕 x

[@kg1385]

Susan it’s easier said than done, it’s a year and I still have strong feelings for my ex, not saying I’ll rekindle with her

[@faith5703]

Came 🏃 running coz wow!

[@valvihk3649]

10y obsessed with the thoughts of a person. I was psychically connected to them, I could hear their thoughts. I could sense them from another room before knowing they were in that room. I could sense their emotions. Universe was pulling me toward them, and I kept running away cus the emotional intensity was so strong + they were walking into a relationship that I sensed they wanted and were conflicted with feelings for me. I knew that I would cause trouble because of those feelings for me (now they are divorced, it makes me mad, because it took a lot of hurt to push them away so they could have that relationship). Susan, I cannot take them out from the "irreplaceable category" because I desire this deep connection so much. Every other relationship feels blend... I can't sense anyone else psychically, and I tried. Only few times was I able to hear thoughts of my friends...

[@ashleyha9804]

perfect timing. i literally just had a dream that he was guiding me through a timeline of my own life and no matter how far into the future it was or who i was dating, i kept telling him i’ll never be over him. he really did me dirty and i thought i loved him but maybe it was just closeness and strong attraction. i’ll know what real unconditional love is when i actually have it in the future. thanks susan you’re awesome - ashley

[@SusanWinter]

I’m so happy that you’ve found this video helpful! You will heal in your own time and realize how wonderful your future will be!

[@ashleyha9804]

@@SusanWinter ❤️❤️

[@sharontay7482]

Thank you Susan, you are such a true Godness with words of wisdom. This is just what I need to hear. ❣️

[@wandafossett8109]

Don't give up on life and the universe.... I know of a great man who helped me fix my broken heartbeat relationship and everything was restored to normal in days without delay..

[@wandafossett8109]

+1 ( 3 2 3 ) 9 1 6 9 1 6 9

[@woopiemiddleman8232]

That he’s cruel, dishonest, super broke, a perpetual victim, never his fault, never took me to a nice dinner, rarely paid for meals, never bought me a single gift other than lingeries, have anger issues, depression, substance abuse disorder, anxiety disorder, not seeing a therapist, living with his female best friend, chronic headaches, constant bad mood, can’t stop talking about his ex wife… enough?

[@dominiccobb6470]

love this! :)

[@samchakriya9634]

He felt out of love with me, cheated on me and left for a widow. I feel so painful and shocked...I know we fought a lot, but at least he should have broken up with me before he had someone else.

[@leonardciarra2649]

What's>App him for help

[@leonardciarra2649]

He is indeed problem solver

[@EleviaBruce]

My birthday is going well so far. :) Listening to my homegirl and drinking coffee. 🙃 🌹

[@TheSoundofTanay]

Couldn't stop loving the first love of my life. Because of this, my second, amazing relationship had to end. Now I have to stop loving two people I will never speak to again :/

[@SusanWinter]

Tanay, now there's a way to do that.

[@TheSoundofTanay]

@@SusanWinter I am going to focus on my growth and follow all the lovely advice that you have given me :) thanks for everything.

[@kyled7824]

You’ve been a godsend through my separation process, Susan. Thank you

[@ciarasasse6321]

Contact him for all kind of problems including saving your marriage or relationship from divorce,.

[@ciarasasse6321]

[phone]⏯⏯❣❣.

[@ciarasasse6321]

±²³⁴⁸⁰⁷³³¹⁷⁴⁶⁰.

[@nwlondonmetaller3427]

What I did is type out the pros and cons sbout my ex within days of break up. I discovered the negative out-weighted the positive. It works! I also wrote that I had a lucky escape, listing all the bad things about my ex. Even though pain is still there, I do feel stronger.

[@jennifer8929]

Boy I needed this right now. Thank you for the advice.

[@walterjenny4745]

Whatspp

[@walterjenny4745]

[phone]

[@massarratfatima5827]

Awesome ...got it just at the right time....Big thanks....

[@SusanWinter]

Of course!!

[@marilyna427]

Excellent 👌🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@theandresricardo]

thank you ❤️

[@EvaMariposa]

Totally agree with this trick to stop desiring an ex ... Works every time for me 😁

[@SusanWinter]

Hi Eva. Thanks

[@EvaMariposa]

@@SusanWinter Hi Susan 💕

[@zeix2467]

Wow so many bullets I doged so many bullets, Thank You!

[@out4meeify]

I love you so much! Thank you for your wisdom!

[@blueblaze3097]

Hello it's works I can't believe am with my lover again contact him

[@blueblaze3097]

Hello it's works I can't believe am with my lover again contact him

[@Slytherin88]

I don't believe I lost the perfect person but it's incredibly difficult to get rid of the resentment I feel for them now .

[@amscared2764]

Jesus Christ SHE'S THE BEST, wow 👏 😍

[@urvashisingh2135]

27 Points.... Omg !!! I didn't know... My gut feeling actually never liked this person. Almighty thank you so much !! You actually helped me. How could I be so stupid to fall for my EX ?? 😳 How !!! Oo My My !! Poor Me.

[@markunilditiangkin5767]

Thank you❤️❤️❤️🤗

[@HammerFitness1]

Susan, thank you so much. I keep commenting in hopes that you will respond, but what if neither partner can fall out of love with the other? What if the relationship isn't going so well, after say five years in my case, and both partners acknowledge a break up might help but neither of them do not love the other. We still live together, we have cut contact very heavily, and after about one week we are rediscovering some sexual tension between each other. Really just not sure how to handle this, thank you

[@ronaldharrison3005]

You're welcome.

[@reydeguerra2807]

God told me not to dwell on the bad qualities of my ex.

[@loredanamunteanu5834]

Agree ❣️

[@allieharmon3926]

I know and think about his bad qualities and things I'm better off without but even still I love my ex after so long

[@luckyduckydaisyflower2344]

Blocked him set my limits before block..maybe I feel better today because I'm loving myself. Studying narcissistic abuse helped me have some clarity..some people have demons at the wheel in their minds..

[@charliegreatrick9099]

Hi Susan hope your OK

[@YoungDevoMrPresident]

It’s been 14 years since we have been together we were young I want to give it a second try so bad now that we are older but she hasn’t been ready for a year and I can’t shake her for nothing it’s hard

[@timessquare1595]

Well said👍🤝🤭

[@SusanWinter]

Much appreciated

[@a.d.b535]

Picture your ex with zits all over their face , or some other unbecoming picture. Overwrite your memories of places you went by going there again, with someone else. It will feel different.

[@niiskuneitiBANAANI]

What if they have a lot of bad qualities, really bad ones. But I still don't care? There is just something that pulls me back to "love" everytime. I don't want to be treated badly, I don't want disrespect. But I want everything else about him, even some of the bad things. "If only it could change" but it can't, right? I love his sense of humor, I love his clumsiness, I love what he likes (most of it), I love to be silent with him, I love to talk with him, I love to play games with him, I love how he's annoying smartass, I love how he is always trying to help with stuff, I love sex with him. But I don't love his communication skills and his behaviour that's lacking empathy.

[@il9001]

I wish Susan had replied because I have the same issue... I totally feel you...

[@erick7brian]

How are you feeling now?

[@jovymalinao1593]

great 👍...thanks Susan.. your wonderful ❤

[@SusanWinter]

🤗

[@blueblaze3097]

Hello it's works I can't believe am with my lover again contact him

[@blueblaze3097]

Hello it's works I can't believe am with my lover again contact him

[@blueblaze3097]

Hello it's works I can't believe am with my lover again contact him

[@alanna4148]

wow....I feel like I wrote that question to Susan. I'm in the same exact position.

[@alanna4148]

That trick works for me. because my lowest points during this breakup is EVERYTIME i think of the good times and how amazing he treated me those years.

[@leonardciarra2649]

@@alanna4148 What's>App him for help

[@leonardciarra2649]

@@alanna4148 He is indeed problem solver

[@henrikgustav2294]

In my case, i’ve been falling for my best friend for years. The longer we’re friends the more deeply I am in love. Different sexuality means I have to keep my feelings secret

[@merylwalkley8087]

im making a list,it's like a till receipt 🤣

[@luckyduckydaisyflower2344]

I hope any other broken heart hears me say it does get better if you get them out of your mind and heart takes a while sometimes..

[@blueblaze3097]

Hello it's works I can't believe am with my lover again contact him

[@chouhanlakshita]

What if you feel about judging them on the basis of dirty nails or being fat or body hair?

[@yanacloud9640]

"The crooked feet" lol

[@bellab2872]

Worked for me as a charm. And work on the boundaries also helps but afterwards

[@krisztinasimon3530]

❤❤❤

[@taniag3481]

But what if you already have a super long list and you almost hate them and you cant let go?

[@erick7brian]

How are you doing now?