How to Stop Overthinking: Master the ACT Skill of Cognitive Defusion 13/30

[@luis_perez_cadena]

I think you were born to do this. From your deep knowledge to your professional yet friendly voice to your authenticity.... You are a super star! You have obviously helped so many people, that's a gift 🎁. All my best wishes for you and your family Emma!!

[@mn9120]

She is giving from the place of abundance.

[@Taureanfitness]

Agreed she's amazing!

[@n.nicole11]

I completely agree! @therapy in a nutshell, Thank you so much

[@Struzzylive]

Beautifully created by God ❤

[@nemo5148]

Greetings from Cape Town South Africa Emma, a heartfelt thank you for sharing your extensive knowledge & all your efforts Mental health challenges are not fun, yet your presentation style is always so engaging , interesting & informative I can't afford long term private therapy so your pearls of wisdom are truly a blessing I've learnt so much life changing skills, coping mechanisms & a better understanding of mind body connection You're truly a miracle in so many of our lives❤ Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays to you & your loved ones XXX

[@charlescrooks7891]

Cognitive defusion - separating from thoughts, is a core practice in Buddhism. It works.

[@serene1486]

what is the practice called?

[@Joseph_Greco]

@@serene1486 Detachment

[@hansenmarc]

@@serene1486 observing thoughts in a detached way sounds like part of Vipassana meditation to me

[@beautyamongashes8378]

In the book “Chatter” I also learned to yell my own name at myself when I’m ruminating and overthinking. I’m honestly surprised every time when it works!

[@jasmineleigh328]

When I was meditating recently and kept getting too distracted by thoughts and stimuli to focus on a body scan, I just suddenly imagined another me, physically in front of me, firmly yelling my name to get my attention and keep me focused and go, “JASMINE. TOP OF THE HEAD. TOP OF THE HEAD. WHAT DOES THAT FEEL LIKE. FEEL IT. THE TOP. OF YOUR HEAD. GOOD. NEXT.” 😂 and so forth.

[@Sk8Hound64]

Hmmm...thanks for mentioning the book. I'll have to check it out.

[@everydayangel]

i feel like this could genuinely work for me cause i'm someone who needs a bit of though love when i get stuck ruminating lol

[@Redheadedgemini]

I named my overthinking critic Karen and when I notice her taking over I say out loud "shut up Karen" 🤷🏼‍♀️😂

[@theotherway1639]

I discovered that my chronic overthinking was a result of a trauma response to find and ensure continued safety and security. If I stopped thinking, then I was in trouble...at least I was conditioned to believe this. It's why there are so many addiction and distractions today, because so many of us are trying to turn off the overthinking reaction to preemptively manage our safety and security. Mindfulness was hard to do for me. Books like 30 Days to Reduce Depression by Harper Daniels and the Tao Te Ching and even Tolle's Power of Now helped me to slowly realize that I wasn't my thinking mind.

[@madsp2872]

This is exactly what I’m struggling with. How’s it going for you? And could you elaborate more on what helped? 🙏

[@shereeclinton8741]

Yassss

[@jeraldbaxter3532]

As my great-great- grandaddy used to say, "You see what you look for."

[@jrgenholteng1529]

The root of cause of our suffering is our own thinking! The moment we stop thinking is when our happiness begins!

[@CesarSchrega]

omfg a Brazilian here, even though I have never been to a camp and we have no concept of camp counselor here, you really do totally look like the type of woman that is the camp counselor in every American movie I have ever watched in my whole life

[@jeffdavidson5339]

Soooo easy and common to overthink. Guilty as charged! :) Ready to put in the work to be more mindful to do less of this!! Thank you!🙏

[@Michelina22]

I can so see you as a camp counselor !! ✝️

[@janethansen9612]

I find that isolation and loneliness leads to ruminating thoughts, I have to get out of the house and move towards people to shift my focus. Easier said than done when you're a bit agoraphobic but I know this is what works for me.

[@kevinspano7315]

Hi Janet. I can relate You are not alone in your struggle. I know it takes “work” Determination, dedication, self love. You can do this! 👍 💪

[@shovelhead4558]

Keep up the good work isolation is a hard nut to crack but it can be done.

[@jeremyc2445]

100% my story

[@jeremyc2445]

We loners need to stick together

[@sheenalee7602]

Yes, I can relate. I try to get out of the house and do things with my son to take my mind off things.

[@tanu5401]

I have spiralled and lashed out the whole day today. The timing ❤

[@Acavinash]

Same here

[@shawnadavis7356]

My anxiety/overthinking has affected my life more than I ever knew and caused me to make mistakes/lapses in judgment/2nd guess myself and and not be present. These simple techniques that can be so useful - I wish everyone would know about these. It’s so simple but when you’re in your own head you can’t see solutions on your own sometimes.

[@jayneelinor]

Cognitive defusion is a great tool. I would add to this that it's important to observe your thought WITHOUT judgement, otherwise we open another route to negativity and self disparaging thinking.

[@patricklapinski1526]

Yes, practicing non judgment or noticing your judgments and questioning them is a huge part of cognitive diffusion in my experience

[@amalksuresh2538]

That's called acceptance in ACT

[@Mouse_007]

Yes. I'm just recently learning that thoughts are not good or bad, however some are more useful than others.

[@christinechapman9764]

I'm having the thought that this was a pretty useful video.

[@kiwiicy]

as an anxious person- today i was able to notice i was having these thoughts. didn't judge them or resist in any way. i cannot believe it worked, thank you so much

[@patrickgans2]

What a perfect lesson. This is EXACTLY how anxiety goes for me!

[@HoneyWindbutton]

Best mental health person on KZbin. Thank you !

[@AndrewJTCooper-ks1ng]

This is exactly what I dealt with on many different things for years. I never could understand what it was.

[@jamesmurphy3219]

The biggest benefit that emerges from learning to notice your thoughts is the creation of space. This is huge and creates some breathing room in the mind.

[@Sk8Hound64]

OMG this is me. It interferes with my ability to think logically and rationally especially in critical situations.

[@glofacekilluh]

These videos always land right when I need them. You've been guiding me for years now. I share your videos with struggling friends, My gratitude for you is so immense. Thank you.

[@ernestdh]

I took your challenge to worry at a certain time for 30 days. And I continued to watch many of your videos. By day 12, with all the skills you taught, it felt silly to worry for an entire 15 minutes. It's getting where I just list that which I could possibly worry about and then focus what is actionable toward making a meaningful life. You are a lifesaver! I am grateful for you.

[@patricklapinski1526]

ACT has literally changed my life. I went from doing cbt for about 2 years with no progress to practicing ACT and seeing an ACT therapist and having my life 180 in the span of 6 months

[@elflakeador09]

I dove Act for 3 and a half years and it really works

[@jaynepictures9846]

This helped me calm down...man I overthink!

[@DonaldStrother24]

It’s mental Judo. It’s Overcoming a larger stronger opponent without resisting by using the opponents own momentum against them. In this case the stronger opponent is our thoughts and anxiety. Since we mentally cannot match our own might against our own intrusive thoughts, the answer is to use our intrusive thoughts own might against it.

[@jahkarl7376]

Thoughts and emotions pass like clouds in the sky. Or leaves on a stream.

[@aalleexxx0011]

I’ve been saying to myself my thoughts are not real but the effects I let them have on me are. realizing I’m the ones giving them so much power and I can take it back

[@katherine_art05]

❤ thank you. I also realise that KZbin sometimes is not helping me! I have to have boundaries with it so much information about many topics, and sometimes I get more overwhelmed and overthink because they are always sending videos about why you have to heal and fix yourself.

[@JohannaVeerenhuis]

Thank you Emma! It’s so funny, the humor part is what works/worked for me! I’m a caricature artist and exaggeration is of course a huge part of that. When I found myself afraid to walk through the cute little lane behind our farm once, I imagined myself crawling through it… that made me giggle and all went better!

[@johnwhite3493]

😅

[@parkin8595]

You’re such a nice and kind person, positively impacting the lives of so many. Thank you

[@Advika-u1p]

I was overthinking and trapped in my mind since 1 week always overthinking day and night, until this video pops up today and I am in relief.. Thank you so much.. You are a blessing.. ❤❤❤

[@jasmineleigh328]

You have no idea how much this helped me, and so many of your other videos. When people can’t afford therapy they often go to the internet, and you are providing such amazingly helpful information. I appreciate everything that goes into these videos, all that you do and and all that you have done. Thank you so much. ❤

[@soundhealingbygene]

This is by far the only skill I've learned that alleviates all the overthinking. Getting a book about the act workbook. I bite my lip as a way to comfort my anxiety been doing that way too long.

[@whimsylore]

All of the ballerina's ruminations sounded like a way to take her power back in a situation she had no power over. What roles she did/didn't get weren't ultimately in her hands, but her cycle of ruminating was like trying to find a way to figure out what might happen anyway. Wondering what they thought of her was also her wondering what they'd do to her, if she'd lose what she had and they'd take it away at any moment. Maybe I'm projecting, but it sounds so familiar to me.

[@kevinvieths3604]

Love your rope metaphor. I too speak to myself in stories internally. My mind expanded it to- Image everyone's thoughts were 1000' strings. And you have many a day. So if you pull them they drag softly behind you breaking away as your focus breaks. If you push and walk into them too much, you will get all wrapped up and tangled. Stop, sit, untangle your mess, and star heading in the right direction before you fall. -As you can see my big problem is shutting myself up. That is my next issue of focus.

[@staycool163]

I can't express enough how much your videos help me. I can easily understand what you're saying, and it's a tremendous help to me. THANK YOU! 💜

[@YGabi333]

This video came at the right time!! I have been trying for years to stop overthinking. After seeing this video, I finally can have a little peace of mind! Thank you!❤❤❤

[@OneLegitBadAsh]

Thank goodness for you and all that you share, Emma. You have, honestly, contributed so much to my life. I went through an awful PPD with my second child back in 2021 & 2022, and with you, your knowledge, and generous heart... I survived. Again, thank you for taking so much time and energy and giving it to so many "strangers on the internet". You're wonderful. Bless and happy vibes your way!

[@jamesm.3967]

You Tube + great therapist = happy human. Thank you.

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

I hope it's helpful, when I originally made the channel, it was intended to supplement therapy, so I hope that's what its doing

[@EricCosner]

I love this! Eckhart Tolle sometimes tells this story about the Beggar and the Gold which seems to relate to this concept of Cognitive Defusion. He refers to the thinking mind being a beggar, but the observer in his case was referred to as "I am" without any words after it, or said another way, the practice of mindfulness where you explore your thoughts as just thoughts instead of identifying with them. Great video! Thank you! I hope I can continue to practice this technique as sometimes I go down the rabbit hole of unnecessary processing, where I would be better served by adjusting my thinking and cancelling out these thoughts which aren't serving me.

[@antoninaumali1422]

I JUST ONE TO LET YOU KNOW YOU HAVE THE BEST TEACHINGS ABOUT PSYCHOLOGICAL DISORDER. THE MOMENT YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT IS HAPPENING WITH YOUR SYSTEM DURING ATTACKS, YOU WILL ACTUALLY STOP PANICKING. YOU JUST DON'T KNOW HOW THANKFUL I AM MADAM. THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH❤

[@marjetka01]

I am a kid born to deaf parents. Overthinking is a part of my lifetime job.

[@micahclegg4569]

😊thank you! Been struggling with this for YEARS! Heavenly Father pointed me to this. ❤

[@lovewillwinnn]

“Do not be anxious over anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication along with thanksgiving, let your petitions be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and your mental powers by means of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4: 6

[@joanie1537]

Emma, these short videos are great! You are able to explain and give solutions in a very understandable and to the point way. Thank you!

[@aymane2324]

Just watching you make my anxiety go away, im very grateful for u❤

[@chandralindeman7909]

I'm so very grateful for you. I hope you know how many people you've helped. Thank-you for making truly effective strategies available and for free. Youre an amazing role model for this. Thank you✨️

[@terryowens169]

down-to-earth, convincing, no BS. Thank you.

[@bigdaddy5948]

Im 70 years old. I live alone. It's extremely hard not to reflect on all my mistakes in life. Not to mention health issues. One day at a time.

[@jeremyc2445]

I relate

[@petermuller4265]

Been watching on and off for over 2 years. You have helped a lot.

[@Meza.Mani87]

I'm glad I came across this video...I can Totally relate....been suffering from overthinking for quite some time now

[@L_W748]

As an MFT student/trainee, I absolutely love your channel ❤ It has been super helpful and makes me look forward to getting into the field and helping people!

[@elisabethclarke4633]

Thank you so, so much for these teaching videos❤ I came across this You Tube channel recently and this is incredible. I am a nurse and struggling with anxiety, finding your teaching style and enthusiasm and positivity very helpful. Truly appreciated😇

[@carolina6683]

Love your videos, Emma, thanks so much. I've noticed huge improvements in my mind activity since I started meditating - observing thoughts, rather than feeling pressure to clear the mind. Love from Spain ❤

[@vickilotts8864]

Another powerful message … I’m the overthinking Queen . I’m going to work on looking at my thoughts as stories or movies … Very imaginative, but just that …

[@otismeotisme7987]

Thanks for your Amazing Inspiring Lesson 🙏❤😊

[@peonypink9149]

This is so helpful and so simple. Being in the observer self is such a relief from being chased around by being inside thoughts. Especially while under pressure ……. Love your channel ❤

[@1156Treecat]

You have been an immense help with my anxiety issues. This one was one of my favorites!! Thank you so much, Emma!!

[@ktrmeadow]

Emma, your sharing of the talents has helped me in huge quantities. Thanks for the continued professionalism and production. So appreciated!

[@monio.9444]

I do this too. Especially when i buy something more costly, i obsess for it and research for days or weeks and even after i buy the thing i keep trying it and keep stressing and wondering if i made the right choice, if maybe I'll find a better one after i decide to keep this one etc. 😅 In the end I just get so exhausted from it, I don't even care anymore, I just want it to end.

[@JOSClaudess]

Just wanna say here how amazing it is what you're doing, this is SO helpful!

[@mikedecastro9806]

Love the sports commentary analogy. Perfectly accurate.

[@MyDave3000]

You are a breath of fresh air totally love you xxx

[@kevinvieths3604]

The thing love about your approach is it still asks my brain to be an active participant. Maybe even more so. Not try to force it away or silence it. It allows me to shift my energy from the consistent and fearful negative, to the inquisitive and excited positive and discover things. Like the fact that during the "chess discussion" I also found comfort in the thought of the added level of separation. The fact that chess in and of itself is another representative barrier to War/Conflict. Thanks to the suggestion of a Better Help therapy session, I am one week into discovering your content. Surprising just how much it can help to just here someone talk through shit you thought was only your own "uniquely" broken head. Thank you so much for this.

[@quantafitness6088]

I get so calm as you speak. Thank you so much for this video 🙏🏼

[@AudioTruyenLangQue]

I love how all of these medical mysteries have something to do with food! Thank you so much for sharing these with us

[@TonyaA7]

Thank You Emma for this information.. Thoughts are just thoughts and they are not who we are..

[@TheSjstokes]

Thank you so much, this has been so helpful ❤

[@doctoralisonjohnson]

The example you gave at the beginning of the ballerina patient sounds like she was suffering from OCD, which is, of course, an anxiety disorder. Having OCD myself, I just want to mention that much of the advice you give in the video is great, but OCD is a pretty complex disorder that requires the help of a therapist and different kinds of techniques. I just want to point out that the flavor of OCD anxiety is harder to manage by yourself and it sucks. A lot of the techniques my own therapist has given me mirror what you offer in the video. Sometimes they help, and oftentimes I feel like there's a part that's missing for me having OCD. I am looking into inference based CBT now. Thanks for all you do, I love your channel.

[@airi75089]

Thank you so much. Spectacular video! 😭💕 I came up with a similar technique when I was a child and was struggling with terrible intrusive thoughts but some of these put even MORE perspective and seem incredible so I’m very excited to work with them and add them to my group of new friends lol

[@2736492821]

oh that's one of the mindfulness practice called "mental noting and labeling" so cool!

[@shadowstar3739]

When I heard her say "..the upcoming ___ we need to do" I instinctively, in my head, went "AH!!" out of fear. Upcoming things are terrifying.

[@cherylbarrel9966]

Pathological demand avoidance

[@cherylbarrel9966]

It's something to Google. It helped me understand some of my own fearful reactions.

[@ruzindajoel6233]

I wish I could like this video more than once my take home... if I ever find myself in a tag of war with my thoughts.."your aren't that smart, no am smart" pulling the rope back and forth the best choice is to let go of the rope, no one wins no one loses

[@tonyjono2148]

Many thanks ,I am going through a hard time at the moment but having you just a few clicks away helps a lot.😊

[@richardwilsonavena]

IT IS SO HARD to do this consistently. I have been trying to use defusion for years and always seem to forget to use it until I come across a video or article about it.

[@rowanstarling3816]

Same.

[@tylercoombs1]

It's funny, when I have an automatic thought popup once in a while, I'll chuckle and say "Oh you think we're doing this again?" LOL

[@NovaSky333]

I’m going to do this 🥹

[@ianmontoya6869]

Thank you so much for all of your wonderful videos and sharing your knowledge. Watching your videos, along with one on one therapy has literally changed my life! The way that you break down these concepts, and explain it in a way that is so understandable is absolutely miraculous. You have literally changed my life for the better and I just want to thank you. What you’re doing is literally changing peoples lives. And I am living proof. Thank you so much.!🙏🏼

[@gstlynx]

Thanks. Your relaxed and confident presentations, regardless of the content, are very reassuring.

[@donnacostarella4241]

I’ll always love listening to you. Thank you for all you do.

[@alizaghimire743]

I always look forward to your videos.Thank you for putting this out for free. You are a true healer.

[@glassbackdiy3949]

I cured my insomnia/intrusive thoughts at sleepytime by telling myself to stfu it's sleepytime, repeatedly; I also read some research, I think it was from Canadian Special Forces, on the best way to fall asleep fast in stressful environments (say in enemy territory/front lines) they got it down to an average of 30 seconds, by focusing eyes on the same spot (with eyes closed) they key is not moving your eyes, it took a bit of practice but it does work eventually. if you observe your eyes when you can't get to sleep you'll noitice your eyes never sit still, clear your thoguhts, focus on the same spot behind your eyelids, Zzzzzz

[@duanereising3026]

Cognitive diffusion... WOW thank you so much ... I needed to hear that today...

[@paulamages2036]

Thank you so very much!! You have great ideas!!

[@snoop3318]

This is one of the hardest skills for me to master, thanks for the lesson emma

[@amirhosseinkardouni6825]

your metaphors help me a lot, thank you

[@MisterFudan]

wow, this woman gets me !!

[@StinglikeaBea]

I wish you was around when i was younger..it would of saved me alot of years x

[@urdude67]

I like the camp counselor schtick. I forgot what it was like to have a good one, and be in her merry band. Thank you.

[@michelep.7249]

Mantra meditation helped me calm my thoughts and have more positive thoughts. To do this choose a mantra such as "my life is a gift" and while breathing in repeat "my life" and while breathing out repeat "is a gift". Focus on the mantra and breath and anytime the mind wanders bring your focus back to the mantra and the breath. Start out by doing this 5 minutes a day and increase to at least 15 minutes a day. Need to do regularly to reduce stress. The book Meditation for Dummies lists all the benefits of doing these mental exercises.

[@kevinvieths3604]

PS - It is funny you mention being a counselor. Because your videos do have more of a campfire conversation vibe than a stuffy therapy room vibe. +So much of it has hit spot on. I like it. Thank you.

[@davidmazzell2332]

I don't overthink, but I do replay everything I do and say to make sure I did everything what's proper for me.

[@rubielferrer4845]

Thank you I appreciate your videos, they have helped me so much.

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

I'm so glad!

[@kayfjones23]

This was helpful, like immediately applicable helpful! Thank you - looking forward to watching more of your videos.

[@nootoorioous]

My issue is feeling sick causes anxiety, but the symptoms of anxiety make me feel sick, never ending cycle.

[@ЕкатеринаЕфремова-р7ч]

I love your videos, thank you, Emma❤

[@rulam.alshimary7304]

كلما نجبر نفسنا على التفكير بشي كلما تزداد شدتها اذا نحط اهتماننا على شي مخنا هم ينطي اهتمام اكبر ، لذا اكو تمرين المراقب الذات، نغمض ونلاحظ افكارنا بدون حكم او تحكم نخليها تمر ونخليها انو اني دافكر بكذا شي بدل من اني شي ونغير المنظور، مثلا اني موكافي اكول اني دافكر انو اني مو كافي، واتخيل اني بسينما اشوف افكاري بدون تغيير وراها ابتعد عن افكارك لحظة فندرك هاي مو افكارنا مو حقيقة وليست نحن بدل ماننغمس بيها ونعيشها نشوفها من منظور شخص خارجي بالضبط وطريقة اخرى نسخف ونكولها بطريقة نكته وهزل واستهزاء وطريقة ثالثة كتابة افكارك استفادو بالتوفيق وادعولي

[@y4nn1ck33]

You are great!

[@ars1968]

Congrats Emma, your videos are very insightful and have a impact on anyone who wants to make a change in their mental make-up. Keep up the good work 😊❤

[@otismeotisme7987]

Thanks for your Amazing Inspiring Lesson 🙏❤😊

[@dawnshire2069]

Anxiety is not important,let it go. Make sure you know thoughts as real thoughts or they just being made up by your mind.invite positive change.

[@yu-fujoe837]

Sometime i struggle with situation you mention at the beginning of video!! Thanks for sharing.

[@shubpatil123]

I am really very thankful towards you mam❤ lots of love to you ❤