How to Stop People From Interrupting You: The 3-Step Anti-Interruptor from Dan O'Connor

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In this professional communication training clip from Dan's Instant Communication Course, communication coach Dan O'Connor teaches how to stop people from interrupting you in three easy yet powerful steps. The course is found among those in Dan's VIP pass, which can be purchased at www.danoconnortraining.com/store
#stopinterruptingme #interrupting #stopinterrupting
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If you want more professional communication training online, with topics that include body language secrets, dealing with difficult people, speaking with power, tact, and finesse, developing a personal compass, effective customer service skills, making presentations, closing the sale and much more, you've found it. To see all of Dan's products, and to claim your free book and/or training kit and to learn how to improve communication skills, go to Dan's website:
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Dan divides his time between the United States and Mexico, where he lives just outside of Guadalajara, in a lakeside village nestled in the Sierra Madres. It is there that Dan lives to spoil his two Springer Spaniels-Maggie Mae, his material girl If you have watched Dan’s videos on the 5 languages of love, appreciation, and respect you’ll know, and the four-legged relationship hero that’s changing the course of communication history: Buddy the Dog.
Looking for a keynote speaker? An onsite or Zoom trainer? Dan can be reached at [e-mail]. You can learn more about him and his training on his website, www.DanOConnorTraining.com, or you can call him at 877-570-1573 701-205-4141 if calling from outside the US.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

HEY MY FRIENDS: If these videos are having a positive impact on you, please show your support by becoming a CHANNEL MEMBER and/or clicking the THANKS BUTTON above and leaving a little love. A little love will allow me to continue delivering these videos directly to you!

[@LissNLoveWJesus]

I went to go to scan that QR code, then I realized when you did this golden video. Thank you very much. You are amazing

[@mirrormirror444]

I’ve always said I’m not finished when people interrupt me. People will stop and listen but it’s so powerful that I often forget what I was saying. Great advice.

[@susan_elizabeth]

Me too!

[@vickichadwick7508]

Some people interrupt you on purpose to get the conversation back to them.

[@spoopyscaryskelebones3846]

@@vickichadwick7508 yeah that’s what interrupting is hehe

[@thirdgen377]

@vicki chadwick Do you oftentimes tell people the sky is blue on a cloudless day?

[@sharonhainesNumber1Red]

That does not always work, when someone is doing it on purpose to Gaslight you.

[@IfSheWants]

I used your tools this week to stop an interrupting customer. I was shocked at how well it worked! She was stunned, but stopped the behavior, and it was awesome. Thank you so much.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

So gratified to hear that A Will. It is amazing how direct communication can still be mindful and effective, isn't it??

[@IfSheWants]

@@TheWizardOfWords It truly is. I rewatched this afterwards, and I think it couldn’t be more spot in. It does feel uncomfortable, I did want to say it and squirm (instead of continuing with my sentence), she reacted exactly like your video example. It is a powerful tool in the right situation, thanks again!

[@thirdgen377]

For the past two weeks my coworker has been cutting me off mid sentence and wanted to find an amicable way to let him know it's pissing me off. Well, I bide my time and two days ago he does it again, but I didn't stop talking. He looked at me and we both stopped and he said, "Sorry, go ahead" but I remained silent and made the room feel pretty awkward. I refuse to let him have the power to tell me when I can and cannot speak and I hope he got the message. Won't be as nice from now on.

[@johnnealeeholland4919]

Agreed. Been passive. Didn't work. Just got ignored. Confronting the rudeness. Puts them on notice. I am important. Don't discount me.

[@katelarouche2835]

a person i communicate with regularly interrupts me by throwing in questions to redirect the conversation. The last time they exhibited this behaviour i looked directly in their eyes, said, " I'm speaking with X. You'll know when i'm speaking to you because i'll look at you." I got it from a movie line but hey, it worked.

[@cynthiaiscool8574]

Sometimes I will stand up for the person talking and I will say "Let her finish. I want to hear what she is saying" usually they will apologize and let them continue.

[@thekingsdaughter4233]

Anyone getting mad at you for doing that yet? Because the person I have in mind is going to blow up if I were to say that...

[@dianneschoenberg4681]

I would appreciate that so much!

[@yummykitchendirect4528]

I wish you were working with me, well done.

[@girlart9]

@@thekingsdaughter4233 If the person does get mad, that’s too bad. I’ve had a friend for the past 50-years who is a chronic interrupter since I’ve known her. I’ve said, “Let (them) finish.” to her many times. She stops. But just like a dam ready to burst, she is all too eager to start talking again. Consequently, I am around her less and less. Sometimes when she interrupts me, I don’t miss a beat. I just keep talking like it didn’t happen. Or, I will say, “Wait.” And then resume. She’s a good hearted person and I like her. But I don’t like her as I did back in the day. She’s now like a family member I see once or twice a year. Otherwise, it’s too exhausting for me to be around her. Oh well, I think people come in to our lives to teach us and of course we teach them. In my view, interrupters are rude and rather dull communicators. I don’t mean someone who drones on and on shouldn’t be cut off and interrupted. There’s a balance. One of the best things in life is to have a good discussion with intelligent, thinking, and witty people. I’ll shut up now…😜

[@tarawalsh-arpaia3928]

Please come live in my life for a while!

[@lass-inangeles7564]

Great stuff! Judge Judy for all her tiny size has a commanding presence. She frequently uses this phrase, "I'm speaking!" to great effect. Very effective.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Yes, I think she learned most of her phrases and certainly her body language from my mother. I'm pretty sure.

[@susang.perlina653]

US VP as well 😂

[@maryhunt5171]

Dan. I take you only walks and hikes every morning. I am almost 70, still working (entrepreneur) but have worked in Corporate and experienced people who brazenly interrupt. It makes the receiver feel so diminished. Right on! Simple ways to keep everyone's intellect intact but make your point that you were not finished. You always make me laugh with your great delivery style that always promises to teach us clear and proper responses that educate those who don't have a clue.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Many thanks, Mary Hunt. My mother is 75 and works for me and I do mean WORKS for me. She reads the things I write (about her) and watches my videos (including those that mention her) and still loves me. Go figure. It certainly is not because of what I pay her--or so she says.

[@read2gainknowledge]

i like this. Especially the bull part. 😀

[@GreeneChakra]

Thank YOU 🙏 -This works when someone “Respects You”-

[@jmvrh]

Dan, you are the best! How to show respect without sacrificing one bit of your own dignity. Excellent.

[@KimberlyLetsGo]

I like the finger wagging communication. It is a softer way to show 'no' rather than the 'bye, Felicia' palm in the face signal. LOL Thanks, Dan, for the usable tips.

[@brightpage1020]

Love the scripting you offer for common circumstances that can throw off our rhythm or workflow, catch us off guard.

[@andreamorrow77]

Thank you for this great content. I have been surrounded all my life by people that speak over me starting with my family, partner, and of course in the workplace. I will certainly keep practicing these helpful phrases 😊

[@meganhernandez857]

It WORKED!!!!!! I used “I’m still speaking” multiple times and he stopped every time I did!!!! Thank you 😁😁😁😁

[@TheWizardOfWords]

You're welcome!

[@Yub1Tub1]

Haven't seen the last few videos, but I've noticed you're much more relaxed, expressive and natural in front of the camera. Thank you for this video! Love how you include different outcomes, it answers my questions which occur whilst watching. You're following the viewer's thoughts. Still amazed that you answered my question in the live video. Keep it up!

[@emiliaescobar7652]

Great contents here Mr. WOW, I have a family member who's notorious for saying "excuse me/helloooo", however, I seem to be the one always being interrupted & just let it go, I'm tired of people bulldozing over me! Love your humor!

[@sinaloalusarr]

I’m so happy to have found your channel; love the presentation of it

[@Briarxoxo]

How do you deal with interrupters who try to derail/distract you with regular quips and comments on what you’re saying instead of just blatantly talking over you? I have a colleague who LOVES to do this (especially in groups) because it shifts the attention of the moment onto her and makes it difficult for me to maintain my train of thought.

[@hixen]

I love this!

[@acongojada]

I promise, Dan! Thanks for this great video!

[@patrickjaime3260]

Thank you so much , because this happens a lot , your a master 🙏☺️

[@tjrevivedxo_]

Yay! Found it! Super helpful 🎉 looking forward to becoming a new member

[@cmr3194]

Love your decor! You look healthy. All bright and shiny. Thank you for your videos.

[@lindahouston4549]

That's excellent advice! Thank you!

[@tbrowntracyj]

The skills here are PHENOMENAL

[@Darvit_Nu]

Thank you! I don't have an issue in conversations with most people but there are people who are very difficult to deal with that are notorious for talking over my naturally quiet speech, not listening, paying attention or being respectful... I am going to use this with them to take my power back. Just because I'm a quiet person by nature does not in any way mean I will put up with BS. I like a peaceful, quiet atmosphere and prefer to maintain my zen, but if you're going to be rude... then you're going to get the ram-look ^_^

[@CarollF21]

This is excellent⭐

[@eventsdeveloper1739]

Thank you awesome words to use. Hope you are OK and nearly out of lockdown there.

[@ahall6157]

Greetings, and thank you for sharing this. I find it most helpful.

[@JonathanMulderMarston]

Wonderful advice and great content!!!

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Thank you; please share these, Jonathon.

[@mkxv1]

Hi Dan, it's great that you are revising your older videos with a little more depth. Btw, I've never seen a follow-up about the different personality types. there were videos of The messenger, The prophet... and where's the rest? Or maybe I got lost in the shuffle hehe Keep up the good work. These videos with some text and cues are great. Stay safe!

[@dramafan08]

Nice background photos, Dan! Great advice as always.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Thanks much, Drama.

[@urbanlumberjack]

Great video!

[@kunduzrouse5088]

It was great teaching. 🎉❤ thank you! ♥️

[@oljatiffani9139]

I promise! Thank you Dan a lot! 💜

[@lovelystarchild]

I always END the conversation. I hang up the phone, slam the door in their face, or walk away. Simple as that. I don't even bother explaining why I ended the conversation, they KNOW why. People ARE WELL AWARE that they are being rude & disrespectful. When people interrupt they know exactly what they are doing. People interrupt on purpose because they want to control & dominate the conversation. In addition they do it because they really don't care what you gave to say, all they truly care about is what THEY want to say & that's it. 💯

[@andrealeighpotter3367]

Love this! U r hilarious! Thank you!

[@iamtenderhearted5192]

I just love watching your videos😊 You have such a warm heart.😊 I find joy in watching your videos, listening to your wonderful advice, and I also find you very calming (and hilarious as well😆😆)

[@TheWizardOfWords]

I am Tenderhearted too, so we're made for each other IAT.

[@mayamartin7359]

Thank you so much! I struggle with constantly being interrupted in social settings, and I know I’m the common denominator. I will be having a difficult conversation in a few days (someone I work with, who’s lied to me big time, and intentionally screwed me out of needed work) and I anticipate this coming in very useful in my commitment to balancing civility with not getting steamrolled. Thank you!!

[@kimnolan4084]

I feel the same Maya, how did it go??? did you use this technique??

[@mayamartin7359]

@@kimnolan4084 hi! Tbh no I didn’t… it ended up going differently from what I pictured. I quietly showed my boss her own video that I thought proved her lie, and just sat back and let her fall over herself scrambling to explain why it wasn’t what I thought. But she said some details that I had to confirm, so I felt it wasn’t wise or fair to push the issue in that moment before I could check the story. …That’s where I had to decide whether to use the technique from video or not - but then, I wasn’t really being interrupted after all; it seemed wiser to let her dig her own grave in the first place. I ended up unable to pinpoint it, but walked away from her story feeling worse rather than better about the situation, so I ultimately decided to just trust my instinct and end the relationship - without being certain exactly where the betrayal happened, but I was certain that it did!

[@katherinegaston5229]

Perfect 🎉 what I was say and keep talking… best approach.

[@missamericausa]

Thank you

[@painpatch333]

I noticed that interrupters, seem to call non-interrupters, interrupters ... as well as, saying that they talk too much

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Astute observation. Yes, you talk too much because you're trying to get a word in edge-wise :(

[@Cl4rendon]

I feel your pain. This is the description of my other half.

[@Kraemer619]

I'm greatful to have come upon your channel. I believe I'm on my 4th video in a row, Dan! It is so fascinating how much the way we speak to one another shapes and effects our entire life and yet it seems as though it is not recognized as it should be, at least not consciously. As I'm watching your videos I'm smiling, laughing, learning, and so intrigued in watching you talk, down to your facial expressions, pauses, and gestures. Does the manner in which you speak ( aside from choice of words) come naturally or is it something you've achieved through practice?

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Thanks for your kind words, B. In re your question--communication skills come through practice. They also come from awareness and observation, of course. For example, years ago I became aware of the ummms and uhhhs and filler words I was using, so I try deliberately to avoid using them. That's awareness and practice. On top of that, I suppose my personality comes through (for good or ill :) :( ) and that comes through naturally. Therefore, the short answer to your question is "both."

[@Boyhead1973]

You're so right it's not easy... I say "Let me finish" ... and it was SOOO empowering to say it - then the chronic interrupter shut up right away -- as I kept right on speaking! It felt great because it was not comfortable!

[@tarawalsh-arpaia3928]

I did this recently when I phoned a domestic abuse helpline. From the moment I started to speak this woman went off on a tangent in every direction BUT the one that I was dealing with. When I politely asked her to let me please speak, she freaked out, shouting 'I feel attacked, I feel attacked, I feel attacked' and then slammed the phone down on me. I have made a formal complaint and have been shocked at how abusive that agency has been. No better than the gaslighters and disdain I could get without them. I really do NOT have the energy or wellness to pursue this energy drain but I really worry about other women out there who might get this treatment. I am a lawyer and my mother is a doctor who worked in the ER Trauma Unity for decades..... she has NEVER treated people like that even when they are spitting at her and calling her a whole encyclopaedia of ugly names. Her boss wrote: 'I am satisfied that this was unintentional.' This is not a murder trial so intention is irrelevant, damage and harm is. Even though I am a lawyer etc doesn't make me or any of us less exposed to abusers. Years ago, when I was still living with my husband I stopped talking. I whispered when I bought something in a shop etc. All these years it has taken me to speak 'normally'. He would have loved to hear her shouting at me and he would have weaponised it against me. I even weaponised it against myself but stopped. My mother always says: You are NOT responsible for someone else's behaviour.' It's so obvious but in those moments we put ourselves down. This time I stopped myself and repeated my mother's words. My specialist doctor has been so amazingly supportive as well. So, I know I have blessings and others do not. I know the laws and the twists and turns, not that it makes it any less draining. But I see women in my community every day and I think if that happened to them I'd have that cow's head for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I am not vindictive but I expect professionalism in such places rather than the cronyism that is so common in Ireland. BTW, I am more than aware that this is a major issue for men as well. I wish men had somewhere to go when they are on the wrong side of an abuser. I think my brother-in-law is (not the abuser) but I cannot get through either of their defenses. My son went through it once as well and I intervened. Poor thing, he saw a young woman crying and tried to help her and did. After that she pursued him relentlessly despite his beloved girlfriend. When he finally had to shout at her to F OFF, she went to the cops and reported that he had kicked and pushed her in a local bar. Thank God for CCTV! If I am going to have any chance of a good life, I must get my voice back! How could she feel attacked by being asked to pay attention? That is literally insane. Thank all of you for being here.

[@26kitn]

Thank you so much!!!

[@TheWizardOfWords]

You're welcome!

[@LaurenceCaudwell]

Thanks Dan 🙏

[@TheWizardOfWords]

You're welcome, Laurence. Be sure to like and share these videos, please :)

[@alinakalido]

I have been laughing the whole video! You are really funny! Thank you for this useful information!

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Glad it was helpful, Alina.

[@madcacher1119]

Great tools here. Subbed.

[@Sandman03276]

You Are Fantastic!

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Thank you and please share :)

[@brightpage1020]

Omg how did you earn this superpower?!? You must have been through some stuff… Thanks for sharing the lessons without the pain. Amen.

[@raccoondon488]

Stay away from people who don’t let you talk ….push them out of your lives totally….life is too short to have to deal with those inconsiderate TALKING MACHINES.

[@kwpv356]

thank you

[@donnakennedy430]

Just started watching your stuff. This is great! Now if only I can modify it to stop hubby from taking over my stories.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Oh you can modify it for that purpose. I saw my father do that to my mother many times. She tends to be a story-hogger.

[@fetishisticrose]

Well it's like judge Judy ' im speaking!!!' yes!! Thank you for sharing❤ we love you

[@TheWizardOfWords]

You are so welcome.

[@robsurname4054]

I've always been the opposite to being passive in this situation. I've shouted at people .. told them that they are rude .. called them childish .... You have confirmed to me that I was right. However you have also confirmed to me that there are better ways to challenge interrupters and I will take your advice .. thank you

[@TheWizardOfWords]

You're welcome, Rob. Happy to help.

[@leahcampbell8526]

Your amaizing...oh thank you!

[@carbonfootprint3635]

This presentation was excellent. Engaging, funny and really really helpful. Thanks thanks and thanks agajn🧡

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Glad you liked it! If you want to check out more engaging, funny and helpful material :) :) :). go to danoconnortraining.com and tell ém I sent ya :) :)

[@carbonfootprint3635]

@@TheWizardOfWords Thanks

[@dawnrumbutis3433]

Timely and valuable lesson.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Thanks, Dawn.

[@lorineilson7529]

Another great video

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Many thanks, Lori.

[@maureengarry]

Great tips, thank you! I have one very problematic person that I can't wait to try these on.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Let us know how that goes, Maureen.

[@victoriasmith1724]

Thank you my Dear

[@Alien-Earth1]

Great video, friend.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Thank you.

[@nasrunzawawi6811]

This shit is good. Never let yourself get interrupted. The interruptor will know you are the easiest to be interrupted. Just experienced this, got interrupted by a narcissist who likes to talk about himself. Quite an apparent power play especially with my girlfriend around 😂

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Yes, there is a time to be a "good listener" but that is different from allowing people to replace your words with theirs.

[@Magic65750]

Thanks

[@angelsong119]

I work with a friend who is (more) likely to do this when she has an "audience". While I am conversing with a group and begin to speak she inevitably has to cut in. When she does this...I simply turn away from the group and walk away. This deflates her platform. She will quickly finish her speech and begin looking for me. P.S. I've tried the wait a moment finger. She becomes louder. Walking away is the only way I stop her.

[@brightpage1020]

How do you stop *yourself* from interrupting? It sounds like a dumb question, I know, but I have ADHD and really genuinely do not mean to steamroll, but often get so enthusiastic or find my brain trying to save time by like, fast forwarding the conversation… (especially since becoming a mom of 4 who is constantly interrupted by kids and husband)…

[@camellia8625]

I get you. It’s hard when your brain works fast

[@shellyp3478]

My boss is the one who interrupts everyone, not just me. She also talks over me all the time. Then she apologizes and says it is ok because she is the youngest of seven children, so I am not the only person she annoys. I got to the point where I wouldn't speak in meetings. I need to work on this, thank you for the tips.

[@tarawalsh-arpaia3928]

Right before Covid I was in new York visiting my mother and brother from Ireland where I live. One morning I was playing with her dog, a 'character' of a pug named Fou, and I started to tell my mother a story. After the first three words, I automatically stopped. Then I said a few more words and stopped again, still facing the dog. I did this start and stall for quite a while until I stopped and realised that something seemed 'off' to me but I couldn't think what. I turned around and there stood my mother, elegant and beautiful as ever, and DO YOU KNOW WHAT SHE WAS DOING??????? Paying attention. Listening to me as I stutter-talked. I have become so used to being talked over and interrupted was almost in shock. I am working on this as much as I can.

[@Soleftendright]

This may sound bad to people, I do this with my manager as he has repeatedly interrupted me during important meetings. It works a treat. No matter their status, everyone should be able to say what they need to say and also listen to others. Mutual respect is key.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Fatt, I'm not sure what you think may sound bad to people-- Can you explain a little?

[@Soleftendright]

@@TheWizardOfWords it may sound bad that I use the 'I'm not finished speaking' to the manager if he interupts, which tends to be often.

[@tarawalsh-arpaia3928]

It does not sound at all bad. It's professionalism and seems like you should be the one managing,

[@oliviasmith1915]

I have a classmate that interrupts a 1 hour physics class a dozen times and my grade is suffering. I needed this!

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Olivia, in a classroom situation with someone who mistakes the classroom for the lunchroom--I would use the "stop" hand motion and say "please." Keep your eyes focused on the professor or your notes or tablet or whatever. Don't make eye contact with this person. This may feel rude, but IT IS NOT. The person distracting you is the one who is being rude. My guess is you will have to do it a few times the first day, and fewer times the second and no times the third, because she'll find someone else to bug by that time.

[@robertgraves3215]

Hey Dan here's an idea for a video, how to deal with "triad invaders" Like the aggressive guy who barges in on your intense one on one conversation with a close friend or worse yet, someone you just met and are just starting to connect with.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Great idea and thanks for giving it a name. Watch for it :) :)

[@robertgraves3215]

@@TheWizardOfWords scenario: You're at a business luncheon or event or whatever. You meet Susan , a gorgeous , funny , intelligent women who is obviously single , and three minutes into the convo, you realize she really likes you. Oh but here's comes Stan the NFL douche , running across the room . Or Karen , the needy Fat Lady. HI SUSAN! HAVEN"T SEEN YOU IN AWHILE OMGGGG!!! HOW AARRRE YOUUUU!!!? This happens to me all the time . CT people have NO MANNERS . One idea I had is "hey here's my card, I feel like we're gonna get interrupted in about thirty seconds . I sense you are well known. If we do get interrupted, I'd love to continue this, I'm enjoying our chat!" I actually took a course in "small groups" in college, (sociology) it was interesting in addressing the diad/triad power struggles (and larger group issues) but gave no strategies on how to personally deal with them. (that's college for ya) The business card thing is a bit awkward at times because if you hand it to someone too quickly, they might think you're diplomatically blowing them off, that's more of a guy-thing though. If I try to contact Susan later via email from her name tag then she thinks I'm a needy stalker lol. Then there's the woman who darts at you across a 100 yard parking lot because you were nice to her for two seconds . Oh the cringe.

[@Scoping_coach]

I like it.

[@jajajavi75]

This is great & I'm only half way through the video... I like these tips & techniques but I also think part of my problem is my own self importance. There's an ego part of me that says "hey, this is a great story, I'm a cool dude, I'm interesting, if you don't have enough respect for me to allow me to speak, then you're not really worth my words". And I wish I could live with that but I have this insane urge to finish my stories so I just blow a gasket and completely shut down. I see perhaps a different perspective could help me curve some people's behavior & maybe I can finish some thoughts every once in a while.

[@TheFredrico77]

Fantastic

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Thanks, Dave :) :)

[@bluecollarlit]

Oh! I love your Wizard of Oz poster!

[@TheWizardOfWords]

:)

[@firegirljen]

Thank you for the video! I searched this this evening after an upsetting interaction with a client. I care for (and my speciality for the last 3 years) has been in pet care-I own my own business. I was having a cordial chat with a client (in her home), as we often do and share training tips, etc. TBH, she’s a self admitted over worrier/says some negative things about people and what they think, etc...anyways, she mentioned today she was going to send her socially anxious/reactive dog to a board & train, which are known to the dog pros as a controversial choice (often they employ fear for training purposes...I digress)-she shared this with me on her own accord. I started to say, “Do you know anything about the...” and before I could finish my sentence, she said, “I’m Not looking for any opinions. Thanks.” Oww and ouch. I was pretty jarred. I did your step 1, and leaned forward, but dropped it and left (I was only there for a short visit). Honestly , the more I thought of it, it really hurt my feelings. She’s been a client for several months now, and we have a good relationship . I don’t take it personally-I think this is a function of how she reacts to others, but still. I thoughtful it was over the top, and hurt somewhat. I don’t think I offer unsolicited advice often, I just meant to help by flagging for her that the training could actually hurt the dog, rather than help. And, since this is my area of expertise, I do value my opinion. OK, she doesn’t want to hear it, well, her loss I suppose. It will make me very very much less likely to engage with her...and since she’s home more now because of flex work policy, I might have to interact. Thank you again for the video, and letting me have a place to write this.🙂

[@TheWizardOfWords]

firegirljen, this woman's rudeness was off the charts. You were doing your job. Judging from your writing, you are a savvy and mindful communicator who was speaking to her as a professional when you reacted to her training choice. It is clear that she questions her own choice and is feeling vulnerable about it. If she were secure in her decision, she would NEVER have reacted as she did. You are absolutely right to not take it personally. Going forward I would limit my conversation to pleasantries and then take my leave. Don't let this bother you, knowing you didn't cause the problem; you are not the problem; you were momentarily the victim of this woman's problem and her vulnerabilities.

[@firegirljen]

@@TheWizardOfWords Thank you so much for your thoughtful and insightful response, I really appreciate it.😊 I hadn’t thought about her reacting out of her own insecurity, but that definitely makes sense to me. I saw her today, and kept our convo to a minimum, thank you for the advice. And, you have a new subscriber over here.👋🏻

[@annehaase3380]

Firegirljen, I was shocked when I read your comment, because there's a woman in my life who perfectly fits your description. She has the overactive dog that she caused to be that way due to her agitated, anxious personality. Also, she used to have a dog shelter that she was running in the past. I could NEVER get a word in, and if I'd say something that remotely got interpreted as negative or critic, she'd fall apart right then and there. It happened so often, that I had to completely cut off our friendship. Her name started with an R.

[@firegirljen]

@@annehaase3380 Hi Anne! Thanks for reaching out. Doesn’t sound like we are talking about the same person, but def some major parallels. Shortly after I posted this, I told her I could no longer service her. She made another scene because the dog rolled on the ground in some poop, and she told me I could never let him roll around /ever again. 😁 ya…my job should be fun, and it is again! I’m lucky to work for myself. I hope your situation has also improved.🙏🏻

[@tarawalsh-arpaia3928]

You are correct in how you read this, you know> Don't minimise the value of your own feelings and being treated with decent respect. You are a professional in this area. Why would she tell you this if she didn't already know that you would not be in full agreement with it since you obviously take excellent personal care of her dog. You don't have a good relationship. You have given her one and she should value that. Also, I know you know this but it's not just her business; it's the dog's health and welfare. If this is an elderly dog or a traumatised dog, the consequences could be dire. It's too late now to say this but I swear by the Beaphar anxiety drops and/or collar. We have two Yorkies, Axl and Stitch. For some reason.... probably because we moved house, then traveled over to New York for the summer as my mother was ill. Anyway, my dog, Axl,.... I can only trust that you know this is for real... had some sort of total breakdown. He would just stare at me constantly and was always right at my side. He still is as I type. But he had snapped and lashed out at both my (now grown) kids. He was bullied as a puppy by his siblings, which is why his owner gave him to me. (BTW they fed him Skittles!!!!!!!! I still cannot breathe when I think of that.) One day Aldi had those drops on sale and I just got them and within a half hour he was back to himself. I also ordered an anxiety bed that Stitch loves, an anxiety shirt, some Valerian, a plug-in diffuser and the collars. Yep, now I do sound insane. However, I have given several of them to others with anxious dogs and I have to say they do the job. It's all natural and no training them through fear. This isn't England in 1940! Well, it isn't 1940. She was rude to you. I don't like her. Not that that changes your feelings but you deserve good people in your life. You are a gift to her dog, who I hope has come back well and without the famous boarding school tic. Totally bad idea for such a sensitive dog. Just all the others and the noise will traumatise him/her. I studied law in my life but I think I would have been good with animals as well. My daughter visits local horses as therapy. Her little criminal, I mean pet, is her perfect comfort. She was a crime victim several years ago and the cops let her carry the little dog in with her to talk to them. He looks just like a tiny raccoon. Anyway, let's make a deal okay? You do not let that voice inside you minimise bad behaviour toward you and I will keep up my work on it as well!

[@womensarmycorpsveteran2904]

So you’re saying I shouldn’t just reach across the table and slap her? (I couldn’t help it. We have a serial interrupter and know-it-all who has done everything, knows everything & everyone and brags incessantly about how amazing she is).

[@tanausu7]

😆 Gosh I know 2 people like that and they hate each other because they desperately compete for attention. I think He suggests on this video a sort of handless slap. I like it and I’ll use it.

[@tarawalsh-arpaia3928]

Slap away!

[@maleehahaider8596]

Thankyou, Your videos are a lifesaver....thankyou, i would really appreciate if you could share a video on how to politely excuse people, peers, bosses from piling tasks to do one upon another....i have alot of issues with saying 'no' ....so i end up taking on more than i can handle in a reasonable and effective manner.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

The best advice I can give you is to search on my channel for how to say no.

[@laurice8056]

I like these suggestions. Which ones are most useful for phone conversations? How about conversations with kids? I’m a new subscriber. Thanks for sharing 🙏

[@TheWizardOfWords]

That would pretty much be up to you and the circumstances, Laurice. The best one for kids is the broken record. It stops all deflective argumentation--for which kids are famous, of course.

[@bunnyoncloud]

Wooooooooooow thank youuuuuuuu

[@TheWizardOfWords]

You are most welcome.

[@silvercarolina4045]

Dan you are amazing. I do not work except from home now so I don't need the words anymore. Or not often anyway lol and the people in the yarn department at Hobby Lobby are literally family & on my Xmas card list literally. But I still watch your stuff because I am fascinated by all this. I wish with all my heart ❤ I'd had you 30 yrs ago! I had a managers job at 19 of a chain salon and it was pretty rough. Totally disrespect from employees that were all older than me as well as my supervisor who wouldn't even let me put an ad for hiring or do my own hiring. That was a big issue which created problems when they hired people that didn't jive with me. Had I done my own hiring I'd have been in way better situation. @danoconner please do an interruption class for friends or coworkers on the phone! When they are/look horrified I would be scared that I had blurted out "I am still speaking." But I can channel the old supervisors essence but may have a heart attack at the look on their face AFTER. Plus I can't do that to friends. Can we have a friends/family interrupt class? PLEASEEEEE. I will share it for life. I promise to share 1 video a day if you do a few more friends/family so it helps me and others not working. Thank you. I run your videos in back ground while I clean or get ready to go somewhere. Its so fascinating. Please do vid on how you I u came to this career. As former hair stylist, I love a good people story.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

OK, you promised--ONE SHARE A DAY--so here you go. kzbin.info/www/bejne/gYS6lGhojNhoeM0 30 minutes to have in the background as you dust and vacuum and write your book and talk on the phone with chatty friends. BTW--how I became a communication/motivational speaker/trainer is a story so long only my mother would listen to the end. (And she's already heard it.) Summary: I took the high-stakes blackjack dealer, stockbroker, college teacher route. And here I am! The universe guided me to you. :)

[@LindaDooWop]

Dan, you are absolutely delightful! When they were distributing all the charisma, you got way more than your share.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

haha--would you mind telling my mother that? :) :)

[@LindaDooWop]

@@TheWizardOfWords I'm sure she knows. She must be proud of you!

[@TheWizardOfWords]

You have to remember she knew me when I was little--and what you are calling "charisma" she called "showing off" and "acting up." However, I believe she has forgiven me :) :) :)

[@LindaDooWop]

@@TheWizardOfWords Ha ha ha!

[@DeeDee-zo7rv]

I had a good belly laugh when you jumped back and said they’ll be like oh geez! Yes lol that’s what we want. Can’t mess with me now I have Dan O’Connor’s skills 😄😄

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Yes, you are now Dandee. (Get it???)

[@DeeDee-zo7rv]

@@TheWizardOfWords fine and Dandee 😂😂

[@ShowMeMo]

You are right, it's not easy especially when it's an authority figure who interrupts.

[@jorgepaez2575]

Dan where are you in Mexico? That hand gesture came from the iconic show "El Chavo del 8"

[@bluecollarlit]

6:37 When you're discussing how people can practice saying the words out loud -- when I did morning drive on a country music radio station I would practice reading aloud news, public service announcements, whatever, before doing it on live microphone. V. Helpful.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

There you go! Thanks for writing and validating, Carson.

[@karenp4102]

This was very scary but rewarding to do

[@TheWizardOfWords]

And a super thanks to you, Karen :) :)

[@joshrandal4001]

Your awesome.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Well thank you, Josh Randal.

[@Mushroom321-]

" you're teaching people , other people look to you " Without realizing.. YEs !, TRUE !

[@ajlived6034]

This is awesome. Thank you! What do you do when someone argues with you after you barely get 3 words out. Take my quiet sentence, “i hate guns”. And instantly - ROAR. No questions about why, or tune in to let me finish the sentence. I have childhood trauma and I’m scared to death of them. Also of strange dogs. But no - they will tell me that I’m 100p wrong and why I’m wrong.

[@raccoondon488]

I’m about ready to give up with some interrupters TOTALLY and just let them interrupt or “”yap yap yap and yap some more”” as I INTERRUPT their INTERRUPTING ( talking “”to”” me and not listening to me ) by simply turning my back on them and quietly without emotion “”WALK AWAY””. I did that one time to a CONTROLLER that would not let me talk. Her lower jaw just dropped in disbelief !!! She was speechless at that moment in time !!!! 😵‍💫😵‍💫😂😂🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

[@laurend9829]

This is so hard for me. I was taught to listen first, which people really value in me. But nothing is more frustrating than someone who treats you like your own words are expendable. Wondering if you c ould also do a video on being interrupted while at your desk working - beyond the norm. I.e. not say your boss coming to ask you for something, but if you're working and people act like they can drop by whenever, even when you're obviously focused on typing something, editing a document. Maybe something similar, the bull face, hand up, "I can't talk now"? Sometimes wish I hadn't been socialized/raised to be a conservative doormat woman. Role that hasn't fit for a long time now.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Lauren, go to "search" in my KZbin channel and put in "availability monitor."

[@ialor3137]

Pacing my apartment, "when you say this, do you mean...when you say this, do you mean...I'm speaking!"

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Yes.

[@susang.perlina653]

I tried that and she still interrupted me. Then I said Oh was i speaking or you? Go ahead. i wouldn’t listen and continued to say what i was originally planning to say 😂

[@MDORLE]

I love your voice

[@TheWizardOfWords]

The one that drove my mother crazy the first 12 years of my life because she heard it constantly? That voice? :) :)

[@gail4972]

Great advice! You are funny!!

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Thank you! 😃

[@kierstenh9225]

So grateful for ALL your videos..they have it all and I get to laugh too! Telling everyone watch these! Got to say too, nothing creepy, that fact you age backwards and should get an agent and be an actor in films for reels!

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Thanks, Kierstenh--as my mother reminds me--THOSE FILTERS WORK WONDERS ON YOUR VIDEOS, DAN.

[@CoreyMack5000]

I started saying “I wanna finish telling my story” like a whiny child when people interrupt me. Even though it’s passive aggressive, it comes across humorously. People laugh at whoever is interrupting. AND the interrupter gets it and stops 100 percent of the time. But if I don’t like the person, I’m gonna say what you’re saying! 😉🤣

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Hey Corey, whatever works--keep doing it. :()

[@faisal1979m]

A person who deliberately interrupts you is a mere pathetic damaged insecure conversational narcissist. Normal people enjoy listening as much as speaking like playing tennis and when they politely intervene they make it in a brief by asking your permission in low welcoming tone and when they finish they would remind you ( what you were talking about if you forgot ) this proves they are listening and really care about your input . Unlike narcissist they just wanna loudly compete you by hogging the conversation so they can feel better or superior when they are heard above your voice or enjoy hearing themselves babbling about their achievements because it’s more important than yours and abusing others with their nonstop awesome mouth Diarrhea.

[@faresalynch4978]

I agree!

[@spoopyscaryskelebones3846]

Bad day?

[@mtoohill]

That's what I feel when I'm constantly being interrupted. Today I told the person to shut up. I was shocked they found that so offensive but not their interrupting.

[@jadenoasis2618]

Good comment and I agree. Many people who interrupt are indeed narcissists. However, there are some people who are just unconscious. They lack the awareness to know that what they are doing is impolite. So then they're told not to interrupt, but then they are so caught in their conditioning that they fail to break out of their patterns. This is where mindfulness meditation, such as anapanasati, can help.

[@tarawalsh-arpaia3928]

'this proves they are listening and really care about your input .' I love that. Well stated. Awesome mouth diarrhea gets a big trophy too!