How to Stop People from Interrupting You: Verbal Tips

[@alexanderlyon]

Free pdf Download with the 5 Essential Communication Skills for Professionals: Essentials: www.alexanderlyon.com/free-resources

[@lukasbarnes4905]

my cousin is a serial interrupter Conversation when he Interrupt's me he talk's to my Parents how can I use my loud voice so that they hear me ?

[@johanvanstaden2408]

Top content!! Subscription earned.

[@Pyroific]

it feels like everyone in my life talks over me and interrupts me mid-sentence and it drives me absolutely crazy. thanks for the tips

[@melfreemans]

Pay attention to your body language. I've trained horses for 50 years and I had to learn fast that if my body language says submissive I can quickly get run over by a horse. But the minute I square my shoulders and make eye contact with a horse it's a different story. I can make a horse move away with just my expression. I give off "chestnut mare vibes" lol!!!!

[@moniquemurphy4851]

If it happens frequently check to make sure you're not over communicating.

[@FransceneJK98]

@@moniquemurphy4851right. It’s always the victim’s fault 🙄🙄🙄 maybe people need to learn how to listen to understand and not listen to respond

[@desertrose2085]

@@melfreemansmy grey mare says it’s not only the redheads who have all the fun as boss mare!

[@desertrose2085]

@@FransceneJK98if someone finds communication frustrating, either from constantly getting interrupted, or feeling like no one seems interested in what you have to say, it’s a good idea to take a holistic approach. Evaluate your communication style, while also learning how to be calm and assertive with those who interrupt. I believe I have some signs of ADD, and have noticed that unless I make an effort to stay on track, I can take a conversation really offtrack, and through 6 different topics and time periods. Learning how to effectively communicate is not at all blaming the victim.

[@susanlewis1875]

A coworker of mine taught me years ago that the way to prevent heckling or interrupting is, if possible, to walk over and stand near the offender. it works!

[@alexanderlyon]

That can work in some situations. In my college classes, for example, if two students are having a side conversation that is distracting, I'll move in their direction and look at them as I continue to give my lecture in a normal way. That usually makes them stop talking.

[@susanlewis1875]

@@alexanderlyon I'll bet it does! It worked for us because we worked in the health insurance industry and got heckled a lot. Hecklers' boldness comes from their distance. They shrink back when you get close to them.

[@alphamegaradio]

@@alexanderlyon Yes! Bonus for the interrupter, who might simply be seeking extra attention? You're moving into their visual sphere, so they don't have to compete with you for attention from the others in the room. It can disarm aggression without speaking a word.

[@snicksabea]

@@alexanderlyonThanks for the tip.

[@sriharshacv7760]

@@alexanderlyonThat requires some authority.

[@bridgiesue7]

My boyfriend is a serial interrupter (everyone in his family is, and as hard as I've tried to get him to do it less, it's just too engrained a habit). At a point I set a new rule: if he wants to interrupt, he has to ask "can I interrupt you for a second" AND he has to remember what I was talking about and reinitiate the conversation. Because any time he'd interrupt, I'd always forget what I was saying. This system works pretty well for us because #1 I don't have to ask him not to interrupt me (having to stop someone from interrupting can be as distracting as getting interrupted) and #2 since he has to remind me what I was talking about, he's always a really active listener. And the first few times when he didn't remember what I was speaking about when he interrupted, the next time when he asked "can I interrupt you for a second?" I said "no because last time you couldn't remind me". For me, being interrupted just sucks because mentally I have to juggle two conversations at the same time. This way, the person who does the interrupting has to care the mental load of the "back-burner" convo.

[@misbahailia3345]

Nice work hun.

[@robcarl2]

I have a sister like you.

[@ZorroTheWevile]

My girlfriend has a tendency to do this and it makes me feel like none of what I said just registered at all but I totally understand it's just a thing she can't help (her whole family is like this too -_-) Being interrupted like that just shuts off my brain and I can't even pay attention to what she wants to talk about. I always feel so awful about it. I'm going to try this with her and see if it fixes anything, it might even help me pay attention to her better

[@bridgiesue7]

@@ZorroTheWevile I know what you mean! It doesn't mean they don't care about what you're saying, or that they aren't listening, I have found it usually just means their brain is running a mile a minute. In fact, usually it means something I said reminded him of something that he was excited to share. We all have bad habits, and so creating this little buffer just made it easier for both of us to manage. He is such a kind and considerate person, and I know he doesn't mean to be disrespectful, and since he's gotten down this new system we are both feeling really heard!

[@journeylvr]

I have a Conversational Narcissist in my life. She doesn’t care about what I have to say. I will continue to speak, and so will she. I’ve turned to texting. It’s amazing how I can text about important feelings and the response is what she’s having for dinner!!! So, what I have to communicate really doesn’t matter at all. It’s all about her, her, her!!!

[@alexanderlyon]

That's tough. There are entire channels dedicated to dealing with narcissists. They only make up about 5% of the population but they cause many of the relationship problems. I don't make videos about it because it's a personality disorder and that's an issue that's better left to the experts who have a research background in that area. All that to say, I'm sorry you have to deal with that. It's a troubling issue for many people.

[@snicksabea]

It’s better to be alone than in bad company. Stay strong. Team healthy.

[@missellyssa]

If this bothers you, why do you continue to interact with this person? And, if you feel like you have to continue interacting with this person, AND you know it's going to happen, why do YOU LET IT continue to bother you? If you choose to interact with this person, you can choose to let it go... Alternately...interact with them ONLY as required, but DON'T share your life details with them. Wait to share your life information with people who listen and care...

[@bern1223]

That’s my mom after I told her I got laid off

[@ColleenLytle-sq8tx]

@journeylvr As my wise old Pa said - "Run like hell!". Goodness is when two souls (could be any compatible life forms) come together and part - when they're both enriched (spiritually, emotionally, and physically 'more than') when they part than when they met, is how it's supposed to be...can I get an 'Amen'? (unless she's under the age of three). That's the age when the human brain percieves that there are other life forms than just themselves.

[@msrmsr1309]

I am definitely guilty of interrupting others. Love these polite ways of responding. Thank you👍

[@Learn-Online-Video-On-Nicegram]

Let’s talk more on telegram channel 🎉

[@MegaAwesomeAnnie]

Absolutely mind-blowing to realise that assertive doesn't need to mean aggressive, and that the same statement said in a compassionate way as opposed to a frustrated or annoyed way, can have such a different impact. I've been saying the statements when dealing with a chronic interrupter at work (someone I have taken aside and asked several times politely not to interrupt me) but I can see from this video that I need to be staying composed so I don't come off looking like the unprofessional employee. When others go low, go high! Thanks Professor :)

[@NaeFree2010]

My boss is a chronic interrupter and it’s not just me, it’s EVERYONE. Just thinking about it makes me upset. I’ve tried other tactics to no avail. I have a meeting with her today and I’m going to try your tips, thanks for posting!

[@alexanderlyon]

Good luck. If somebody is a chronic interrupter, be satisfied with *_any_* amount of communication you manage to express. It is very unlikely the person will change and voluntarily create space for you in the conversation. It's much more likely you'll have to essentially advocate for all of your talking turns. And even that may take time. Be patient. See what works and what doesn't. If she's chronic about it, her habits are deep. Hope it goes well.

[@scottyamauchi8273]

Great advice, worth taking to the bank. “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1

[@msjoysplace]

This is good advice that one would think would be common knowledge but so many have not been taught these basic skills. THANK YOU SO MUCH for providing this.

[@snicksabea]

I was on a date last night, the guy ALWAYS interrupts me. Like I couldn’t tell any story. Like I couldn’t get through once sentence.

[@Rollendeungarischekugel]

Got interrupted and screamed/bossed at in my entire life. There was no way for me to explain my point to these people ( mostly family members). At the end I felt so ignored and humiliated that I leaved the scene and wrote to them a letter, writing about how upsetting their constant interruption and screaming is and how this solution is necessary to communicate my voice because they seemingly hear only theirs. It was oil in the fire btw. I got accused with cheekiness, ignorance, stupidity and general lack of emotional stability and credibility. They interrupted me because they thought that this is in their power and right as adults. Situation didn't change much except the physical distance that helped a lot. So before you think you have problems with your own communicative style, think about the possibility of the aggressive bossy nature/general ingorance of the other person.

[@Julia-kv2po]

Yesss, some people are annoying. I cannot stand my mum she interrupts me even when I tell her it makes me feel bad, she’s so annoying

[@KatWoodland]

Sounds like you have a dysfunctional narcissistic family structure. And you are right. Those people are not interested in anything aside from themselves.

[@maleidi]

being polite to disrespectful people is an endless endeavor

[@gloriawhitford7850]

Where have you been all my life? Thank you, thank you.

[@alexanderlyon]

Ha! Thank you, Gloria. I'm glad the video helped.

[@ajoshmiller]

This is great, Alex. I love how you added the part about tolerating some level of interruption.

[@alexanderlyon]

Thanks, Josh. I'm encouraged that you picked up on that. If we listen to the way people actually talk, we are frequently talking at the same time and it's fine with virtually everybody. And, though I don't go into it in the video, there are differences between literally cutting somebody off deliberately and simply talking at the same time in supportive ways. And there's a ton of grey area. A small % of people consider any amount of overlapping talk (no matter how positive the "vibe" in the conversation) to be an act of unquestionable offense. I don't agree with that. All that said, I doubt anybody would watch a video on the subtle differences between all of those issues but I wanted to make sure I at least mentioned that it's only human and a natural part of conversations to have some level of interruption and overlapping talk.

[@Mexter88]

Your ministry is such a huge blessing to me. I’ve learned a tremendous amount of communication since tuning in. God bless you!

[@alexanderlyon]

You are so welcome, S Chi. Thank you. God bless you too!

[@willow1698]

Ministry is an interesting word to use

[@JDM797]

Excellent tips, Alex. One of my colleagues, who by nature was very polite and soft spoken had this habit of continuing to speak when someone interrupted. It worked most of the times when the interrupter would stop after getting the cue.

[@chonglongchoo]

I always wonder how stop others from interrupting me tactfully. Your advice helps me a lot. Thank you so much!

[@Brakathor]

I don't know about the best way, but the most FUN way to handle it, is to just not stop talking until you've finished your sentence: key point, and this is crucial, without raising your voice. It's fun because they're ALWAYS indignant about it. They accuse YOU of talking over THEM. I don't do this anymore, but there was a period where this is all I would do, and it always made me happy in how much it annoyed them.

[@sangeetasang9437]

Thank you for educating me. I was a person who used to interrupt in between conversation without realizing my bad habit but now I practice hard and have succeeded 85% of times of being mindful. Same applies when people interfere in between my conversation and what and how should I respond to their interruption. Your videos have tons of +++ve messages and I admire your style, example of self in presentations and all your videos. From core of my heart - "Ever grateful to you for being kind and for sharing your ideas for free with people around the world".

[@alexanderlyon]

Thank you!!!

[@dragonrider9051]

Would you be able to make a video about how to keep someone on track when telling a story or an event and politely keep them from over explaining or going into great detail about something insignificant to the story or event. My attention span is to short and I tend to space out when someone drones. I want to be able to be engaged through the whole process. eye contact is tuff cause if I lock eye's for a split second to long my fight or flight response kicks in hard core. You're great at what you do, thank you.

[@alexanderlyon]

That's a tough one, Dragon Rider. You can give them some polite feedback but make it about you (not about their long story). You could say, "I'm losing track of the story. Could you boil it down a bit?" That's just an example of giving them feedback but you are making your difficultly with keeping track the focus of the comment. That's really all you can do. You can't really prevent them from being long-winded in the first place.

[@JimmyJaxJellyStax]

I'm curious how to not come across as frustrated and annoyed with interruptors when I am genuinely frustrated and annoyed.

[@esan0715]

This is my problem... Lol. It's so irritating to me that I loose my 💩

[@oliversissonphone6143]

Practice in advance. Seriously, tell a story and ask a friend to interrupt you. Repeat until you can assert yourself calmly.

[@soratwin]

@@oliversissonphone6143Very nice take on a possible obstacle that may come up

[@CL-mn1yq]

I'm glad for this video but also PSA - those not picking up on cues could have ADHD, autism etc .... Having compassion is good

[@dunkinnatalie]

Oh boy, level 2 got me fired. This lady kept interrupting me at work, among other rude things... and i thought maybe i would just gave a quick, adult convo. Oh boy. She went on a rampage against me and got me fired after she messed with my work and presented it to management and everyone. Had me looking crazy! Lol i do love this video and all advice. Thanks

[@Mothersubs]

Excuse me... excuse meeee!! Me me me me me lol Yep. This is all truth. I wish someone had taught me all this when I was 8. I've been accused of being " the Interrupter ", yet here I am genuinely seeking knowledge to do better. Thanks to this video I've learned, that I haven't learned to not interrupt due to the ineffective ways I have been corrected with aggressive and passive aggressive language. Understanding this, I see how I can change now ( I went to " active listening video " ). I am so grateful for this video! I've been around soooo many aggro speakers ahhhh. Assert. Don't aggress! Assert! Don't aggress!

[@alexanderlyon]

Hi Natalie. I'm glad the video was helpful (and the active listening video). Thanks for sharing your experience.

[@Xclusivejayy1]

You’re the only communication coach I watch online. This will definitely help with my Podcast 💯Cheers!

[@alexanderlyon]

Glad to hear it!

[@cherylecooper906]

Great video, Alex!! My daughter and I have a wonderful, close relationship. We enjoy each other's company and we have a great time sharing what's going on in our lives. Because we can get quite excited -- (and animated 😃😃) -- communicating together, we FREQUENTLY have to use the Level One cues as loving reminders -- to let the other person finish before interrupting. I oftentimes use: "I'm almost finished." This usually works well for us. The other tips are excellent -- especially in business situations. Thank you!! 😊

[@alexanderlyon]

Thank you for sharing, Cheryle.

[@sunvaj6754]

Great lesson! Thanks for sharing.

[@shridharmahadevan2004]

Thanks a lot! Alex. this is an important tip.. to be utilized.

[@ColleenLytle-sq8tx]

I'm so weary of folks that just #1) Are not listening to anything I am (or anyone is) saying, because they are thinking about what they're going to say, #2) People treat me how they feel about me, and if they don't care - they don't listen, #3) The ones I'm referring to - just start in the middle of my sentence or point, and KNOW I'm speaking - and will even look right at me - while they're escalating in volume and intensity until they finish...whether or not I do. It's really valuable 'to keep it about me' because my feelings (behavior) are about who I am - I don't have to be rude because you are. I'm a gentle soul, and I cannot abide cruelty or bullies - these tips are really valuable because I don't like to fight or argue (some folks and semantics😱- I find the older I get, the less patience I have with them🙄 Thank you, I've not seen your videos before, I liked and subscribed, and am looking forward to seeing what else you have. My best.

[@anthonyrossmaund3161]

good morning everyone! I am in Buffalo NY watching live! hope everyone has a nice day!

[@alexanderlyon]

Go Bills!!!!

[@MockingbirdGirl13]

Setting boundaries!

[@anitavaughn1968]

This is awesome! Thank you! I hate being interrupted. I very quickly lose my train of thought.

[@irakotlik]

Thank you! I was surprised to learn I did know I have an option of verbalizing I did not finish yet. It was really annoying at the recent social to have a guy constantly interrupting me after a sentence each time, while when he was the one talking I listened fully, giving my responses only when he himself asked me a question. But for whatever reason, he cut me each time after sentence or two. To be honest, it is hurtful and I noticed that in such cases I tend to distance myself from a person. It is really exciting to think I might be able to engage in conversation in a way that potentially is transformative and helps the relationship improve.

[@Yuls777]

This is so well explained and illustrated. Thank you 🙏

[@bitsandpiecesmusic]

Excellent video and content as always, Dr. Lyon! I use a lot of the "I" language when speaking to my students on things that I don't want them to miss out on, and find it very effective. Thanks so much for sharing with us!

[@alexanderlyon]

Thanks for sharing your example. I'm glad the video was helpful.

[@pinkyflee6382]

This was amazing thank you. I have met a lot of Talker-Overers who were either Narcissists or just simply rude & I've dealt with them in my own ways, but I need help with someone I know who is actually lovely but does this all the time. I'm going to try these :)

[@JY-tq8dr]

This is very useful information! Thank you so much, simple and easy to integrate into a conversation.

[@jodieinus5705]

Thank you sir! I really appreciate you sharing this. Given English is not my first language, I get annoyed when my manager interrupting me and my client’s conversation with he/she thinking I spent too much time with my client however I didn’t know what I can or can’t say at that moment other than awkwardly staring at his/her face. I’m going to put those sentences to practice.

[@ooopticnerveee]

Haha, this reminds me of the last person I dated. Incredibly nice fellow who always got super excited about subjects I'd start talking about and would just jump in with his thoughts, immediately apologize for interrupting, and by then I'd forgotten what I was going to say and our conversation would end. I mentioned over and over that he was doing this, he would notice, keep doing it, apologize for it when he'd do it, and then I started to get very passive aggressive with my responses over time. "Cool. I can't remember what i was saying because you interrupted me AGAIN *eye roll/sigh." I see how I could've responded in a more productive way, but even remembering this interaction makes me feel annoyed 😂 Thanks for the tips, something new for me to work on 🙂

[@alexanderlyon]

Thank you for sharing your experience.

[@TugasPT]

Insightful video, thank you for sharing your wisdom.

[@christiroberts8817]

Excellent teaching! Thank you!

[@alexanderlyon]

Glad it was helpful!

[@sofiyafaizova563]

Thank you! This was the one what I was looking for.

[@calneh4983]

Awesome! I was just asking about this recently. Thank you so much!

[@alexanderlyon]

Glad it was helpful!

[@mohamedismail-vd9yx]

Very helpful. Please keep posting more like this .

[@annericketts7061]

Such useful and practical tips. I love your point of clarification to start. It's helpful to see these sample statements. Thanks Alex!

[@alexanderlyon]

Hi, Anne. Great to hear from you! Hope all is well.

[@hello15848]

Thank you.

[@soozshooz]

Thank you Alex. How to deal with multiple interrupters all at once: Can you take this up a level & give advice on how to handle ‘Simultaneous Group Interrupters’? This is a situation where many people all interrupt & talk over one another so that everyone is talking simultaneously. The voices then get louder, higher pitched & shouting turns into yelling bc the loudest one wins. The pattern of chronic interruptions is recognized in the DSM-5 as one of the traits for Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Usually, these people have the need to be in control &/or are extremely self righteous, which makes them very argumentative, opinionated cantankerous, oppositional & combative. They like to hear themselves talk & dominate conversations. They actually don’t have conversations bc they never allow the other person to speak. They don’t talk with you, they talk AT you. So what can be done in this type of situation when dealing with a relentless, argumentative Narcissist or multiple interrupters all at once?

[@alexanderlyon]

That's an interesting question but it goes beyond what I do on my channel. That's getting more into dysfunctional dynamics and diagnosing other people. It's not an area that I've studied and I don't have an informed opinion about it. My channel is for professional and emerging leaders. I'm grateful I've rarely seen a workplace that fits the description you're asking about. If I did see that, I would say it is up to the leader to restore an orderly workplace. It should not be up to the employee to fix a group like that.

[@stummkind]

Thank you that was very insightful and helps me to understand two frequent interrupters at my job.

[@cwgnr5990]

Thank you for this awesome advice. I like how you keep it real.

[@dogansahutoglu2073]

you are very helpful, I appreciate you share your work, thank you so much

[@alexanderlyon]

Glad it was helpful, Dogan.

[@qinguo7139]

This is so helpful!

[@alexanderlyon]

Thanks, Qin. Did you practice along with me in the video???

[@qinguo7139]

@@alexanderlyon yes I did, English is my second language, so this is especially helpful for me. Keep up the good work!

[@gingerty9628]

My mother in law is a habitual interrupter. You simply cannot have a normal conversation with her about anything. She will interrupt repeatedly. I'll be trying to talk to someone in the room and she will butt in and get louder to over talk you. She interrupts everybody. My husband has held up his hands to her and said "she's trying to tell me something, hold on" and he'll ask me what i was trying to tell him, then when I'm done he'll ask her what she wanted to say. It's sad because I'll never have a close relationship with her. I avoid conversations with her because of it.

[@eenergabeener]

Trying to control someone may be our first response out of annoyance, but as he says there is nothing you can do to control the other person so don't even try! The best we can do is control ourselves. Being compassionate and non aggressive gets the best response.

[@MetAxa369]

I’m glad I saw this. I have a guy who interrupts about everything I try to say within 7 syllables or less and I am tired of sounding like a barking seal This guy has an unwanted crush on me and acts like I’m his girlfriend. I really don’t want to be anything other than friends with him. Usually when he interrupts me it’s to tell me over and over that he “loves “ me (dozens of times a day) how can I politely handle this? I don’t want to hurt him or be rude.

[@drahcirnevarc9152]

Get over your scruples, and hurt him and be rude.

[@passion-basedlearning]

I truly appreciate you and the time you spent helping us with these verbal tips. Thank you very much for your awesome channel. I enjoyed every minute of your lecture as well as your marvelous sense of giving your pieces of advice.

[@ralucamarin7473]

This was gold!!! Thank youu!!!

[@alexanderlyon]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@abdulhafizbozdag2988]

Thanks Sır God bless you too

[@liberated1027]

Thank you, thank you, thank you, Alex this video was very helpful❣️

[@peixiya]

My level 1 tip, that I often use, is to say something like "Let's put a mark here." For example when I'm in the desciption of a detailed event, that I'm sure I would forget if interrupted, but someone wants to comment on a particular part (we all know that "almost cutting in" moment), I look at them directly and say "Let's mark this part/Let's put a mark here and we can get back later." I think it calms the other one a bit, like they are heard and less eager to interrupt.

[@alexanderlyon]

Good one!

[@unnatiagarkar9471]

Thank you sir Your lectures and teachings are really good and helpful Especially the picturisation added in between help the learning brains to maintain what's learned and turn it into execution. Thank you again to you. And your entire team sir.namaste.

[@drahcirnevarc9152]

I recommend early deployment of the phrase "shut up when I'm talking." Add "boy" if they're younger than you.

[@johnmchugh8049]

So grabbing them by the throat when they interrupt is bad ?

[@Jenekks]

Would love to see tips on how to politely break a monologing person. You know, those people who talk and talk and talk while you try to listen at first but they are just going on and on endlessly.

[@alexanderlyon]

Good suggestion. The short answer is to use feedback using I-language. "I'm losing track. Could you boil it down for me?" That's far superior to You-language, "You're going on and on. You're going to have to boil it down."

[@Learn-Online-Video-On-Nicegram]

Let’s talk more on telegram channel l🎉

[@alphamegaradio]

Great tips, Alex. I love these! Thank you. 🙂It builds nicely on the previous video. In my personal experience, these methods have worked well with those who are not trying to control the conversation. For those whose intent is control, the acts of apologizing or asking for permission to speak can verbally give them the false impression of submission, that we're not speaking to them as conversational equals, and they may subsequently feel "justified" in continuing the rudeness. God Bless and Merry Christmas, brother!

[@alexanderlyon]

You are correct. This is just for a regular long-winded person. These types of tips will only be minimally effective against someone who is committed to controlling the conversation. That will essentially cross the line over into what could be considered a power struggle or conflict. I tend not to make videos about that intense side of the scale.

[@alphamegaradio]

@@alexanderlyon That's what sets you apart from others in this niche, my friend. Please don't change. Ever. Merry Christmas!

[@kxe7934]

Hi Alex, thanks for the great content. Could you do a video demonstrating techniques to help think quickly on your feet during a Q & A or meeting etc?

[@alexanderlyon]

Good idea. I've given that some thought. I might do it in the future.

[@Tonysuriano]

Love this!!! Thank you! I plan to continue to master my communication so theres no arguing at my death bed 😂

[@bridgettejem1685]

I just discovered your channel today and am so excited to watch all of your videos. My profession is a sign language interpreter. I would be very curious to know if you have any experience and tips for communicating in a professional environment through an interpreter of another language. If you do not, can you direct me to any other expert on the topic? With today's global marketplace, the opportunity to be conducting business, and having personal interactions with, someone who doesn't speak your language, thus requiring you to depend on an interpreter, are ever increasing. Is this something you have ever considered exploring?

[@alexanderlyon]

Hi, Bridgette. It's a good idea but it's way out of my area of expertise. Sorry about that.

[@Learn-Online-Video-On-Nicegram]

Let’s talk more on telegram channel 🎉

[@babyblu5590]

Yep I'm here to learn more after an episode with a person lol... Interrupted me singing is more like lol Thank you!

[@DrConstanzapsicologaUSA]

I hope you make a video about how to handle people who talk to much

[@MarcPagan]

Thanks for a wonderful, and helpful video. Fortunately, these basic communication skills, part of basic manners, are learned in Elementary School, and at home.

[@alexanderlyon]

Glad it was helpful!

[@rebecca.smith.]

Errr no they're not

[@bertbrowm4488]

I spoke to a guy on the phone and he was so rude, he was aggressive/rude by being condescending. The thing is he paused so I assumed he finished, then he called me judgemental about some else and I interjected to correct him as he was being judgemental more then me.

[@mrsteve3232]

Some great tips you know .a great video👍

[@Mothersubs]

Great work!

[@Santa9204]

Awesome video ❤

[@taal8706]

“ … We agree on a great many solutions. But, here are a few that I feel needs to be discussed at length so that we can benefit from each others experience and expertise.” In my 25 years in corporate America here are a few acorns of observations: 1. Don’t be afraid, be competent. 2. Create a space in your head that requires you to be completely opinion free. 3. Do not search out ways to betray the facts. 4. Create an open sense of understanding the hierarchy of speech: Less is more. Listen to learn. Speak to soothe. Allow your speech to support only your success. 5.Never insult anyone at work privately or publicly. You do not need to be patient. You need to exceed the levels of competency of those who seek to consort with chaos. 6.Become the mind, that makes their energy not matter in your mission to be your best nonjudgmental self. 7. You do not need to be sympathetic or compassionate. Have a strong sense of ethics, and practice the ethos of Kant. Success is not about winning. Success is maintaining your honor whether others believe that you were defeated or that you triumphed. 8. Above all else persevere to master your craft and be relentless is becoming the best leader of you that you can be. 9. Titles matter. Regardless of what those who are not in authority think, say or gossip about. 10. Your boss, can be the worst person you’ve ever met. Remember that they may think that of you. Give them a reason professionally to look to you for support. In the end if they betray your talent or your trust you may lose praise or perhaps a raise. Just remember the trick is to increase your competency by facing and being overcoming every challenge every single day.

[@alexanderlyon]

Thanks for posting. There's some REALLY interesting stuff here!

[@taal8706]

You are most welcome. Some wars are fought noisily and others are fought noiselessly. Communication is the remedy to both.

[@throughjoshuaseyes4453]

I like - Im almost finished sorry. Sounds calm

[@alexanderlyon]

Yes, I use that one a lot. It sounds normal.

[@Sobored518]

Timestamps 00:01 - Learn effective verbal techniques to prevent interruptions. 01:30 - Use assertive statements to maintain control during conversations. 02:54 - Use assertive I-statements to reduce interruptions during conversations. 04:16 - Avoid accusatory language to reduce interruptions effectively. 05:43 - Provide direct feedback to address persistent interruptions professionally. 07:06 - Focus on self-responsibility when addressing interruptions. 08:31 - Use direct communication to handle interruptions effectively. 09:50 - Improving communication by addressing interruptions can strengthen relationships.

[@mozeelo]

My favourite "You do see me talking right?"

[@medhajp1798]

Hello. I am really intrigued by watching your videos. Could you also make a video on anchoring?

[@alexanderlyon]

Thanks. When you say anchoring, do you mean how we often rely heavily on the first information we hear? I've heard that same term used in a few different fields. If you have more details, I'd appreciate it.

[@ab4690]

I must say I sometimes see no way of having a" conversation " with some people unless you interrupt their looooooong stories! Have you come across people that are so self-absorbed they never "think" there are other people in the room who would like a chance at talking too!?

[@jillmosebach7709]

Being chronically interrupted, especially if you identify as someone other than a white cis male in a position of power, can be very triggering and experienced as a micro-aggression. I understand that some degree of “talking over” is inevitable and that many interrupters are not aware of their behavior. At the same time, due to patriarchal norms, this puts an extra burden on those being interrupted (who, in the majority of cases, are women) to be the “professional” ones and not “offend” the aggressor for fear of retaliation. Both truths exist: It happens all the time (and we have to manage it), and also it is deeply frustrating.

[@dutchtea8354]

“Let me finish” is not an “I statement.” Rather, it is a command. The subject of the sentence is the “understood you.”

[@case6585]

Thanks!

[@alexanderlyon]

Wow! Thank you , Casey. That's very kind of you to support me like that. I appreciate it.

[@littlepotato2741]

Ah, so saying that I will burn down their house if they interrupt me again is wrong because I'm using "you" language in my response which escalates the situation. Well, lesson learned...

[@alexanderlyon]

Exactly! Ha. If you'd said, "I'm going to burn down *_A_* house," then it wouldn't be You-Language anymore. Just kidding, of course. In case any lawyers are reading this, I expressly advise against any harmful activities like that.

[@lwgg742]

These tips would not work for many women, who get interrupted almost immediately after starting a sentence (i.e., of course you're not "almost finished").

[@alexanderlyon]

These tips work equally well for both men and women. I've watched many females use these exact skills numerous times very effectively over the past couple of decades.

[@poppothepug2211]

I'm worried it might be rude to tell someone to stop interrupt. I take care of a politicians dog and she will never let me say more than two words before she interrupts me. Every single time. It's exhausting..... I listen to everything she says and try to answer, but then immidiately she will interrupt me again. And all the conversations are only about her, how great her dog is or when someone was rude towards her. Every time I try to say anything about her dog that isnt a compliment (because he has behaviour he has to work on) she immediately changes the subject.

[@drahcirnevarc9152]

Say "shut up when I'm talking."

[@saustinspeaks]

This is good stuff. Subbed!

[@alexanderlyon]

Thanks for the sub!

[@Maha_s1999]

I think some of this advice is culture-dependent. If you are British or Australian, stopping by someone's office "to give feedback" would be seen as a huge affront. I think Americans are at ease with this type of approach, but unfortunately it would be lost in translation in the type of contexts I deal with. In general, I find also that in a highly hierarchical society not everyone has the same access to airtime in group conversations. Women, expats, or people of lower rank are often steamrolled in my experience and the airtime is hogged by those with perceived higher status.

[@alexanderlyon]

Yes, culture matters. My advice is 100% given from a US perspective because that's my background. Any advice I offer would have to be adapted and incorporate your best judgement.

[@Maha_s1999]

@@alexanderlyon Alexander, thanks for your comment. Could you possibly make a video to adapt your advice overcome the obstacles I mentioned to make you advice applicable in situations where a woman, an immigrant or someone of perceived lower status can make themselves heard respectfully? It would mean a lot. Thank you kindly.

[@madeinussr7551]

I constantly interrupt my husband . He gets upset. I've been thinking why i do it. I used to not do it. He talks over everyone and takes over all conversations. He also tells ppl okok that's not important. I think i do it out of spite or cause i don't care since he doesn't either. I've been trying to stop it but i just feel like I'm giving in.

[@lean8078]

I'm not watching this for the rude people who interupts me but i'm watching this cause sometimes my boyfriend gets too excited and interupts me. It always causes funny misunderstanding or I usually forget what i have to say. I'll try some of these phrases if i talk to some people that has good intentions.

[@alexanderlyon]

I love your attitude. Most people do not have bad intentions when they interrupt. It's like you said. Many people just get excited and want to join the fun. I don't know if you've seen it yet but the interview I did with Vanessa Van Edwards is all about the nonverbal cues you can give that'll help stop people from interrupting as well.

[@johnnythesailorman]

The person I'm thinking of thinks talking over someone and getting louder is the same as winning an argument

[@YouilAushana]

Tension is ok between people, I hope we have enough appreciation to get things done but we can also be aggressive and hurtful. This person might have just been emotionally immature.

[@sharazad1002]

I once got the answer: "But you are far too slow and laborious. I already know, what you are telling...

[@alexanderlyon]

Hi, Susanne. I wasn't there to hear that comment but it is true that long-winded people tend to get interrupted more frequently because other people get impatient. Again, I have no idea if the feedback that person shared was fair or not.

[@Wishiwasadrummer]

How do I get my wife to not interrupt when I’m telling a story to others . She often forgets the details of an actual event and gives incorrect information when she interrupts

[@alexanderlyon]

It's a great question and a lot of people struggle with this issue. I'd be hesitant to give you advice about your marriage and I have too many questions to offer any advice other than what I already said in the video. I can tell you what I'd do if it were me in my marriage. I'd say before I was going to be out with friends and likely to tell a story, "Honey. If I start to tell a story tonight, can you let me tell it rather than interrupting?" Use a kind and patient tone, of course. But I 100% would not give her any feedback in front of other people. In a marriage, that would likely be very embarrassing. But above all, this is not really advice for you. This is just what I would do and every marriage has different dynamics. Good luck!

[@Metoo1111]

My mother is like that. I’ve tried many different ways but she refuses to stop, it seems to be part of her nature or personality. She did this my dad and now he’s passed and she does it constantly with me her oldest daughter. I can’t even visit with a stranger and she interrupts the convo. I stay away a lot and I’m frustrated a lot too 😢

[@Wishiwasadrummer]

@@Metoo1111 sorry you have to stay away.

[@danielkindred1793]

DONT TELL THE STORY WHEN SHES IN THE ROOM

[@edersolis5097]

Can you make a video on how to read the room?

[@alexanderlyon]

Hi, Eder. I have a video on *_How to Analyze an Audience for Public Speaking_* . That is essentially what reading the room is. If you search for it with that title, you'll fine it.

[@brixtonbluebeat]

I usually say "sorry for talking while you are interrupting". I'm done with 'being nice'

[@zoenavales7846]

I was planning to join an extemporaneous speech contest at our university but I was worried about my topic and of course, I am nervous. Do you have any tips for writing a speech and getting all my topic ideas properly and remembering them more?

[@stummkind]

Join toastmasters

[@stummkind]

Join a toastmasters club

[@Maluee]

I find myself ejecting from conversations with those who I find interrupting me. I feel others cling to things I say when I’m talking and lead the conversation other ways, in situations alike I find myself putting forth less and less effort to care or reply and often leave it at where I was interrupted like I’d never started. It’s a like a clear path in a forest I always take it when I find it again, “keep talking like you weren’t interrupted” or “say you forgot and talk to someone else about it”. I’ve found if I talk to much it leads others to interrupt me and expect me to keep going after I’d been cut off and listened to what they had in mind.

[@Catholicknight89]

In the book “The last man standing” Jaime Dimon was speaking in class when another student began wildly waving his hand because he wanted to speak and Jaime told him “Put your Fucking hand down while I’m talking”. Needless to say that kid never did that again lol

[@joanerhabor3233]

My Alex Lyon, you’re an A1 actor. “Excuse me, excuse me, I’m speaking” 😅 If this isn’t a norm

[@alexanderlyon]

Oh, thank you! Ha. I know actual people who have that tone so I'm doing an impression of them.😂 But I don't think the watch my channel.

[@spankymagee]

I had a guy just yesterday signing up for my gym and he was so incredibly clueless as to anything I was saying or even trying to say. He just kept on talking and talking no matter what. Guys like that are so far in their own head, it's like he couldn't even hear me. Very awkward. He even would ask me direct questions and the second I start to answer.....he walked all over my answer and tried to answer for me. But it was on the phone so it could just be he was hard of hearing. Tough customer and he was supposedly about 400 pounds so I dont know if I would want to do any kind of stopping him in person. Haha 😆

[@barneysgirl9665]

Hello Chris. At 400 pounds, this customer probably experiences being dismissed in society, not being heard, and considered "less than". It would be easier to assert oneself by phone than face-to-face if one is accustomed to being shut down. After being in customer service for 20 years, during the 80s & 90s, my approach of being empathetic, but direct with a sense of humor, might not work for everyone. A customer rambled on and on about a missing package. Knowing he was justified in his anger, I gave him a few minutes to rant, and then I said kindly, but firmly & with a touch of humor in my voice, "Tim, I get it, and I'm sorry, but you gotta let me go so I can find your order quickly. Good, bad, or ugly, I will call you with an update in 30 minutes." He calmed down, said thanks, and allowed me to get to work. I wish you well, Chris. Keep listening to Coach Alexander.

[@monsieurLDN]

Alright chris cox