How to Stop Resenting Your Parents and Find Peace

How to Stop Resenting Your Parents and Find Peace / Are you tired of holding on to resentment towards your parents. In this video, I’m sharing a 5-step process so you can start moving past resentment and hurt and towards peace of mind.
It can be so difficult to let go of resentment of your mom or dad when you reach early adulthood. How do you get past bitterness leftover from your childhood? If you resent your family or feel like you hate your parents and want to move towards forgiveness, keep watching!
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• How to Stop Resenting ...
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[@amandaboyle3046]

It's undeniable that they are still growing, but with marvelous ignorance and arrogance which lead to that any change is hard or even impossible to make to their existing behavior pattern. Consequently more communication means more harm.

[@deondavis9220]

I feel the same way .. it’s like you’re forgiving someone for the mistakes they made .. with no accountability and it doesn’t matter because you’re their child ! Makes no sense .. they disciplined us and had total control .. they should be looking at us and trying to fix their mistakes the way we do with our kids .. I’m sorry but I don’t agree ..and if they were being introspective wouldn’t they come to us and talk ?

[@sqrfoot6548]

I'm 41, a mother and this helped me with my own mother. I feel so much anger towards her for being controlling and remaining controlling. Her rage, verbal abuse and victim mentality. I'll be writing a few messages in a few bottles 😉

[@fvkpop]

Thank you so much. I cried while watching this because I really don’t want to feel like this anymore but I’m still living with them and some days are just so difficult to bear. I think I might be coming back to this video regularly. I’ll start with step one. Really, thank you so much.

[@user-ob6hf8wu3t]

hope you are doing well, i am in a similar situation. i hope you are out of there by now or at least working on it, i know the housing and apartment market is so bad🙁

[@animegirl16091]

I'm 31 years old and still live with my parents I'm not allowed to speak my mind unlike my brother. He gets to say whatever he wants.

[@Plisi-ew6qv]

But is it possible to forgive and fix things with people who don't want to admit their wrongdoings towards you???

[@jonzoshokk]

I think you need to look at what you have wrote and think about this instead. Do you think if they admit their wrong doings it will change how you feel or make what happened different? Probably not but it’s a 3 stage system of understanding what they did how it affected you/still does and how can you move on from it

[@myu5519]

In my opinion, nope.

[@katydid594]

If they refuse to admit to their own wrongdoings, Abandon All Hope, and move on with your life.

[@hera_139]

Nope. You cut them out of your life for your peace

[@isakristiansen7977]

My take on this is - No! I hate when people say «oh you gotta see it from their point of view» And so where does the line go then? Are nobody supposed to be held responsible for their action towards their children? Maybe I am cold, but for your own peace. Try to let it go and move on. I will never forgive and fix things with my parents. I tried so for years, but it just made me exhausted. Now I am living happily in peace, and have come to rest with the way things ended.

[@1948rambo]

My mom was a super flying monket for my very covert narc sister. When I understood where she was and why....her covert alchoholic husband and father and how desperate she was for approval and love......I was really able to forgive her. It didn't make it right...but when I saw her pain...it was easier to forgive. She passed away 7 years ago and I am glad I was able to give her some of what she needed and frankly DESERVED before she passed away. And THAT turned out to be a gift to me!

[@donnaeichenlaub8180]

My mother is in deep denial of the mental abuse she put me through. She would take me to bars with her when I was 16 and 17 so she had someone to sit with. And then she would tell me I was going to grow up and be just like my aunt who was an extreme alcoholic, and very poor. If I said, I wanted to be a teacher or something when I grow up, she would always say you can’t do that. If you talk to her now, she says how supportive she was. Of course she’s 88 and doesn’t want to deal with reality, I wish I could let go of my resentment. She would not be receptive to any kind of conversation. I guess I will have to write it down and go to the ocean.

[@peanutbutterisfu]

I didn’t have a really bad child hood but my dad was pretty mean at times, I would get yelled at by him all the time for the smallest of mistakes and that turned into me not being able to talk to my dad I was always scared to talk to him. I moved out at 18 and when I was like 24 I went over his house to tell him my girlfriend was pregnant but I was too scared to talk to him still even though I had been on my own for 6 years I had to have my sister tell my dad. I wasn’t a bad kid, I didn’t ask for much, I didn’t get into trouble all the time nothing like that. I didn’t have much, I didn’t like sports but was forced to play sports because that’s what my dad did. It was pure torture playing baseball for the town because this kid that bullied me reall bad was on my team so not only did I get bullied at school really bad by this kid but I got to go to baseball all summer long and get tortured by him all summer he was so mean to me he made everyone on the team hate me. When we won a baseball game we went out for ice cream and my dad told me to go sit with ur “friends” well because I couldn’t talk to my dad he didn’t know that none of them were my friends they all hated me they didn’t want to sit at the same table to eat the ice cream that my dad bought for every kid on the team the only friend I had there was my dad who I couldn’t even talk to. The only thing I ever wanted when I was a kid was a dirt bike that’s it that’s what I liked that would have made me SOO happy and would have been my escape the only thing that could have brought me any joy but I never got one. I didn’t realize how crappy of a childhood I had until my current girlfriend because I don’t like to talk much and I would answer questions that she would ask and yea it was pretty bad I guess I have tried to block that part of my life out. About a year before the baseball thing happened I had a substitute teacher that was probably 78 years older and he called me fat in front of the class and I broke down crying because I couldn’t take getting bullied by everyone and then a 78 year old teacher calls me fat and everyone laughed at me so I started crying then I was the biggest pussy because I cried. The funny thing was a year before this teacher I lived in a different town, I was kinda popular, had tons of friends, never got bullied or anything, even kinda enjoyed going to school it was when my parents decided to move to a different town is when everything changed. It was pure torture. Every year when it was time for swimming class in gym class I had to pretend to hurt myself and wrap an ace bandage around my wrist so I didn’t have to be seen with my shirt off so I didn’t get embarrassed for being fat by everyone and I would pretend to be sick so I could stay home. The kids were so mean at that school I even got bullied by a girl. I still have some resentment towards my dad but but nothing serious it’s just in the back of my head. If I had a dirt bike back then I would have had an easier time dealing with life by having a bit of an escape from life, something fun to do other then playing my regular Nintendo that was 20 years old but that’s all I had.

[@SlumberBear2k]

I loathe my parents. they always look good whereas I always look bad. the worst most sickening feeling.

[@81mrbetomeza]

I find it really hard for me to forgive my mother. Its been over a year since i last talk to her and i was okay with that, but recently i got a notification from google pics and saw how the app made a slide show of all the memories (pictures ) i have of her and i realized how she now looks like a stranger.

[@paganmom2022]

Thank you. It is hard when sometimes they act like the narcissist and other times the codependent. I am setting boundaries and detaching from the mental distortions she has created for us all. Time to focus on myself more and not assume responsibility for her feelings, as I really have no control over them like she raised me to believe. - From the Oldest Daughter

[@LiftingUrVeil-LUV]

Imma be honest . I don’t resent my mother anymore but I also don’t give her a pass saying she’s only human too or she did the best she could. Cause really she didn’t. I’m 42 and just walked way from my mother and he I look back on my entire life , that woman did every thing she could to break my spirit. She wanted me to kill myself. For me I will ways have love in my heart for herb but I’m through loving her and my dad as parents. Plus she never loved me. Being honest with my reality is coming to terms that a person who abused you decade after decade and didn’t care how you felt or what it was doing to you , they don’t love you. A person cannot love you and abuse you at the same time.Narcissistic mother to me are the worst people in this world. They don’t get to be taken off the hook cause the pain and suffering to they cause their life’s can’t be compared too. I realize the last time I saw her and she had that smirk on her face seeing my crying. Saying everything thing she could to hurt me in the west way possible and I realize I never had a mother , and I don’t know who this woman is and she don’t know who I am and I didn’t feel an emotional connection with her plus what she said to me I knew I lost all respect for her and I would never feel the same about her again

[@sabnamkaiser8946]

forever grateful to you Tess :))

[@jaysonrayford7095]

I just want to say thank you so very much for your professional help. I cried a lot on the inside because I kept on getting angry at my mom, kept on talking while she is explaining to me about what the situation is/when she's asking me a question related to the situation/when my mom and stepdad get stuff from the store I didn't write on the list that me and my brothers need/why and what caused me to get angry leading in the situation I put myself into getting worse. It doesn't happen all the time but sometimes wherever I get and feel angry towards my mom or whomever I am talking to because I see and feel like they don't understand what I'm saying or hear me saying what I said when I'm speaking clearly. It took me until just now to realize that if I keep on continuing to be like this, then it'll find me nowhere in life, left to fend for myself to live life out of trouble, people hurting me, send to prison, or send to an early grave. I also realize now that my mom and everyone else in my family is doing their very best repeatedly telling me that this has got to stop and we all need to do something about it moving forward in the future. Again, I want to say thank you. I feel like this video can truly help me stop resenting who I am talking to and change my life for the better. I now believe that this will help me and change my life for the better a 100% indeed. In the end, I wish that other people's kids that is going through the same problem I have watch this video and white kids (especially black kids) get the message too.

[@halpearlman3538]

Thanks. I need to work on this and these tools will help me out.

[@tessbrighamtherapistcoach1794]

I'm so glad to hear you're finding this helpful!

[@mardukevii9180]

Extremely helpful thank you so much!

[@tessbrighamtherapistcoach1794]

So glad you found this helpful!

[@lalalalalala9333]

Thank you.

[@keariasmith9363]

Thank you❤

[@angelicacroitoru4946]

What hurts me much is that when I should learn what is love i learned what is hate and fear. I hate my mother because tooked my mental healt away, because tooked my right to feel love and all I felt for her was hate..and I was a child. She never wanted to see that she was braking me..and that I needed so much to feel love. I was a traumatised child, left to live with my grandparents who had theim issues also, and there I was sexualy abused with at 3 years old, didn't knew my mother and when she apperrs suddenly she broked me into peaces by screaming at my grandmother asking her to take me away from her sight.. She did that couples times untill I was almoust 6 and suddenly she takes me to her home and live me babysitting my youngest sister ,6 months old while she was working. I had to do that while I was out , on the street, not allowed to stay inside the house, she were loking us out and take the key with her. I could not feel anything else but so much fear, and shame because people from the block used to ask me to go home not to stay on the streets, like if was my choice.

[@Entertainwithrikki]

Thank you for the tools

[@tessbrighamtherapistcoach1794]

You are welcome!

[@hbrtoz7592]

I feel like I need a pass to beat them especially my dad without any legal consequences. Then maybe I’ll feel better 😂. Growing up I was a trained dog never allowed to speak. Communication was zero and it was punished. Miscommunications happened all the time and so much yelling and smacking happened for literally no reason. I am not mad about the slapping. That is nothing compared to what most kids go through I am sure. But I’m still pissed about never being able to speak my entire life. So much misunderstandings could have been avoided if I was allowed to just speak for like 12 seconds. I have like a laundry list of punishments that I went though for things I never even did and I just want them to spend hours and hours telling them that when this event happened years ago and this happened back then, I genuinely didn’t do it or you misunderstood the situation. What also pisses me off is that after all these years they get offended when I feel awkward hugging them at family events. Like why do you guys think? I don’t like y’all.

[@divine1562]

😢😢

[@robertmontgomery110]

your story is my story. I still tear up when I think of my childhood experiences.

[@uncrnblood24ub65]

The last part reminds me when my mom now tries to call me “princess” since I make money and all and I tell her not to call me that since she never called me a princess when I was growing up.

[@AviatorFinders]

Thanks

[@JulieEllen0422]

I feel sad. Because I never had emotional support or if there was it wasn’t what I needed. Also being put on adhd meds for soo long.. not okay with it. Just numbed me out more but I was a little girl and didn’t know any better.

[@Ikr2025]

My father was narcissistic and dogmatic (minister). My mother is a people pleaser, smooth everything over, do the right thing, say the right thing, always be pleasant type person. My childhood was v stressful due to my father’s narcissism and my mother’s avoidant personality. I resented my father’s lack of care for me but I actually liked the fact he was at least honest and direct about his feelings - even though the truth was he didn’t care for me much. With my mother, she is such a people pleaser, I get resentful and tired of the ‘always walking on eggshells with everything I say’ vibe she has. I wish she was more direct and honest and less Pollyanna-ish about everything. Everyone loves her due to her people pleasing, because she stays in her lane and never says anything challenging or controversial. She’s just so ‘nice’. Truth is she complains to me behind the scenes. Now I feel the niceness has been programmed into me. Both of them have been programmed into me. My father died. I still resent my mother’s people pleasing Pollyanna be pleasant and agreeable at all times approach to life. I have no idea what to do about my feelings. I don’t contact her all that much but she constantly contacts me and keeps wanting me to meet with relatives mainly to keep up appearances. I’m sick of the fakeness. I grew up with a facade of fake perfection. As in ‘we are just such good people compared to everyone else’. Real feelings were dismissed and swept under the rug.

[@pandanina]

Hi, do you recommend living alone, to create a safe space for oneself and to let out all the things someone experienced and heal better like this? You know. I FREAKING REALLY want start loving them, start forgiving them and to just make peace with them. But I feel like I can’t do all of this healing work like letter writing when I‘m at home by my parents. I just dont feel comfortable at ALL showing my emotions and my real self. I feel like having a safe space for me first is a first step to heal and to create a safe environment for me, to which I can return whenever its getting too much for me. I think this is a better way for me to forgive them and to finally heal from the past. Do you think this is reasonable?

[@katydid594]

You can't heal in the place where the abuse happened. Your central nervous system knows it's not safe. If you can move, do it! Don't pressure yourself to forgive, focus on healing instead. Forgiveness is often the last part of healing, so please don't beat yourself up cause you're not ready to do that yet.

[@shudyouzzef]

I'm with u 💯

[@meredithe1361]

I wish my parents cared about anyone but themselves. I told my dad to his face he had zero business having kids and he really didn’t even respond. If you can’t be humble when your daughter tells you hey I think mom is a narcissist and why did you stay with her? then you don’t have business procreating imo. If you’re not really even paying attention enough to notice how much your daughter hates you, you didn’t deserve her in the first place. When my mom dies, you better believe I will rejoice to ding dong the witch is dead because that is exactly what she was to me. A wicked witch. I wrote her a letter like 10 years ago and I still feel so angry at them sometimes that I could murder both of them. Idk. Maybe that works for some people.

[@infiniteanalogy7448]

My dad has given my sister a house and not to me because « I wasn’t there » and it was the only house he has . I work everyday and my sister is able to only work half the year save all her money etc I get sick about it

[@deenamartin83]

My parent would cry or get angry. I always have to walk on egg shells when I say things.

[@LN-jr6nj]

My parents are both narcissists. They have not mellowed with age, in fact it is quite the opposite.

[@traweler155]

Very easy, .. too easy

[@SimplyInspiredbySheena]

💙 I think I’m one of those people that should probably receive more help from someone in person…there’s some pretty big stuff How do I get help? Do I go to my family doctor and get a referral or do I just google therapists near me? Is there a difference between a therapist, psychiatrist, and counsellor? How do I know what professional I need?

[@SR-mv2mf]

comment section is filled with people with the problem the video is trying to mitigate. Has anyone actually overcome this issue?

[@NudeMatter-jk3cx]

bs

[@oltskooler]

My mother was no human being. She wasn't any better than Dr Joseph Mengele.

[@HedgeFundCIO]

Imagine juxtaposing this advice of “talking to your parents,” when your kids have blocked all forms of contact based on modern day quack therapists’ advice.

[@oltskooler]

Go seek help? In America? How? You have to be rich in America to get any kind of therapy or help. America's help is prison for most. I'm so tired of people saying to get therapy. How? The healthcare system doesn't provide anything in the u.s. everything is price gauged overpriced crooked expensive. And on top of it American doctors are the worst on the planet.even for Drs in the USA it's profit over people.

[@1god126]

Maybe you're a licensed yada yada yada So I sure hope you don't think I'm trying to be mean but I almost clicked off this video Because you said you're a licensed psycho therapist That's sort of saying the people that listen to you or want to see what you might have to say That sort of saying they a psycho I'm sure you don't mean it that way but that's exactly what it is The common everyday usage of the word psycho implies that someone is unstable in a very unsafe way and that's not cool Perhaps you could soften the title you give yourself You might start your introduction with well I could give you all the my accreditations well I think what's most important to you is that I'm here as your friend Additionally if you're familiar with NLP Licensed Lie sins'd I rather have enjoyed being a parent I think parenting There are moments But being the active parent was always fun I don't know why anybody would say parenting I enjoyed helping the kids get ready for school picking them up teaching them different things Now that they're older and live with their mother a few years our relationship isn't the same anymore but while they let me is there Dad it was great!

[@StudSnob]

I fundementally know they shouldnt have had me, and shouldnt have had my sister. If they loved us, they wouldnt make us. This is creating hate in my hrart

[@user-rc2xs5ti2w]

You are very right. I am glad I never have decided to have kids.

[@abhayasharma8881]

Thank you so much for this. I dont know what will be my progress but i really felt better after listening to you for this whole video. You have a very calming way of talking and i am grateful to have come across your channel today. 🫂

[@tessbrighamtherapistcoach1794]

You're so welcome!

[@hilacohen5168]

Thank you❤