How To Stop Siblings From Fighting

[@Maryrosalia]

5 year old boy purposely will antagonize 8 year old (both boys) 8year old will yell, hit, slap, 5 year old. Talked to both kids. 5 year old says I annoy other sibling “because he hits me” and 8 year old says “I hit him because he makes me upset on purpose” it’s an extremely bad habit that is new but daily. I’m about to lose my mind.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Morgan Van buul, time to give them both consequences so they know that life will be better if we get along better.

[@Flaca.602]

Same here i have 3 boys 12,10,9 and they do this to eachother I'm on the same train on losing my mind

[@amymorgan1150]

I am struggling with a similar scenario but they are bigger. A never ending cycle!

[@Msibme]

I introduced a talking stick that ANYONE COULD USE if they wanted to be heard. There were rules to respect the stick, it was not a toy or used to hit and only the person with the stick could talk. We used this with neighbor kids also. Often times it was not about the toy or what the kids were fighting looked like they were fighting about. It was something else. I found this as a way to empower my kids to be heard. Everyone got their say. We all learned why some behaviors occurred. We also learned the consequences of the fighting or other results of particular behaviors. Kids were able to express the pain experienced.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I love this method, have seen it done effectively.

[@BetterDaze1]

Love your channel! Mom of 3 girls here. Your channel has been a lifesaver!!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Honored to be on your team.

[@kasha_sol]

You have no idea how much your videos have helped me. I would be so lost on some of the parenting struggles but your videos have given me the positive direction we need. Thank you and God Bless you both for the work you do 🙏

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I'm so glad!

[@ginamcgrew9955]

Very helpful! Sibling struggles are a real challenge in our home right now. I will try these ideas, especially serving and honoring each other when tempers are not flaring👍

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Gina McGrew, thank you for trying. Honored to be on your team.

[@amandaarya2188]

My 4 year old was listening with me , around 8:35 she goes Do Grown-Ups Has To Respect Kids Too . Cause i always tell my kids that you guys has to respect each others. P.S she is the youngest of three.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Amanda Arya, I love it! She is smart.

[@sophiadavenport3959]

Siblings will argue with each other that's normal however parents should establish boundaries early on while children are young let your children know what you expect their behavior to be like. Healthy communication is the key to a good relationship.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thanks for commenting, A whisper of Patricia.

[@dijhaallen]

I recently found your channel and I am loving all of the content related to parenting and marriage. Thank you! I can't wait to start implementing what I'm learning here.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Welcome!! Glad to have you in our Live On Purpose Family.

[@chibywallah]

Always such wonderful advice! Thank you so much! ❤❤❤

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Honored to be on your team.

[@Faisal-nx8zy]

Why am i watching this without even being in a relationship 🤣🤣🤣

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

They may come in handy.

[@olgabushak2942]

Respect yourself and others. Respect property. (Home, each others toys) Cooporate and obey if its right and reasonable (parents, Eachother)

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

So easy, right? Please share with others.

[@intuitivedaughtersofgod]

Brilliant! Thank you so much

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You're very welcome!

[@natashadeguzman431]

Dr. Paul, I have a small pod of children for virtual learning in my home, I did this so my daughter and other children would not miss out on social emotional development by not being around their peers. I have an 8 year old female student who is very smart and spunky; the issue is that she antagonizes the other children if they don't do what she wants, she's not openly aggressive or rude because she knows that's not acceptable. I have tried to help her correct the behaviour but she denies it, she smiles and says she didn't say anything or do anything wrong. She understands kindness and consideration for others, she reads books about it and watches videos....just seems that she doesn't understand it in a real life situation and that it also must come from her. We have circle time to check in with each other and learn how each one is feeling and what we like or don't like. What I've gathered is that, she used to be in an environment where she probably learned some skills to help her survive. Such skills probably served her in the situation she used to be in (foster home) but are no longer serving her now. I've tried getting advise from others on how to approach this and most tell me that I shouldn't worry about it because that's the parent's responsibility. That doesn't sit well with me because she spends a lot of time with me and I feel that I SHOULD help her or at least, I want to. I know this is a very long post, I couldn't find any other way of explaining what's going on...there's so much more but help with this would be much appreciated. Thank you for your time.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Natasha DeGuzman, Talk to the child and the parent together about the problem and come up with some solutions and if the behavior isn't improved, she may be asked to leave the group.

[@natashadeguzman431]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV Thank you.

[@noelleelsbree6151]

My kids never fight. When there sleeping.... 😀

[@yessicapeters9104]

Bahahahahahhahahaha. I'm sorry but that was great with the smiley at the end. These videos are great.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Haha, Noelle Elsbree, we all need some humor to get us through the day.

[@Mushroom321-]

🤣👏 thank you! I needed that.. Isn't that the greatest..

[@mammykat2babykatie]

It's certainly a positive thing to look at to keep us going 🤣🤣

[@madamemamzelleb465]

Another awesome one !

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you, I appreciate that.

[@annakopfer1338]

Dear Dr. Paul, thank you so much for your help! I've heard about these respect rules in a previous video and I just couldn't really communicate this to my children. Could you please, please talk about explaining this "Respect", which the rules are about, to 3 and 5 year old kids? Would be so helpful for me! Best wishes from Germany🤗

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Anna Kopfer, what a great idea for a video, I will add it to the topic development list.

[@robg1229]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV did y’all ever do another video on the subscribers suggestion??? Really could use the info… Shalom from an 0pa (grandpa) of 3, 5&under…

[@christineherman5916]

Do you have a video around ideas for sibling acts of service? Really like this idea.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Christine Herman, not specific ideas, brainstorm with your friends or talk to your kids about what they would suggest.

[@Undercoveroldgoose]

OMG I needed this

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Rue Mu, glad it arrived on time.

[@Undercoveroldgoose]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV whaa

[@yessicapeters9104]

What about this scenario..... 5 year old girl favours one twin boy over the other..... the one that always gets left out (ezra) he is a little more aggressive and social. The one she favours is shy and quiet. I feel like working on ezra will help this but its upsetting when I see our daughter drawing pictures blatantly leaving ezra completely out or of to the side of pictures. It makes me sad and I dont know how to go about handling this.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Loewen Behold, talk to her about it and how she feels when she is left out. She can begin to understand empathy.

[@yessicapeters9104]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV I have done that many times. I will keep trying. Thank you.

[@mammykat2babykatie]

Could you get the other baby sat to help them bond? X

[@faizatahmad3755]

@@yessicapeters9104 how’s it going now? Does she like them both equally? I was thinking maybe you could get her to spend more time one on one with Ezra and get them to do some fun things together.

[@yessicapeters9104]

@@faizatahmad3755 update. Regular discussion on feelings adressing their thoughts, feelings and wants have all helped it's all about being consistant.

[@jaychambers7955]

That's not why you're watching this video 😂😂😂right on

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Whatever the reason, thanks for watching.

[@sammyg798]

Love this! Thank you so much! 😀

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are welcome, Samantha Stanley, honored to be on your team.

[@Adele-the-sigma]

tysm

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

MARIA RAMOS, you are very welcome.

[@natashajacobs4025]

Thank you

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You're welcome

[@75mingle]

Dr. Paul, how do I explain respect to my four-year-old boy? If you already have a video on this, then please direct me. Thank you. Love your videos.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

75mingle, I have added the topic to the development list. Thanks-

[@alysonmaxwell1991]

Excellent instructional video. I will definitely go learn about the three stages because this seems complicated lol

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

alyson Maxwell, it really isn't too hard, listen to the videos a few times and go through the playlist, it will become second nature.

[@fiyana95]

Guys, I need your opinion. My sister is so possessive, protective and obsessive towards her things especially if it's new things like her ipad. She would yelled, got mad like crazy and curse me if I accidentally grazed her ipad with my finger. Sometimes, she even scold me for sitting near her ipad or iPhone as she thought that I would sit on top of it. But, she act all unapologetic when she drop my phone to the floor. We got into fight constantly because of this issue. Is normal for her to behave like this?

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I guess I am not clear on why she is touching your phone if you are not touching hers? Ask her to put her things away so there is no reason to fight and ignore the situation as much as possible.

[@aimaneahmed866]

Hey Dr Paul do you have a video for 21 and 23 people fighting?

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Aimane Ahmed, are those the ages, or how many people are fighting? What is the relation to each other?

[@kayeb7321]

Hello everyone, I'm here because we have a 5 year old and 3 year old both boys who fight all the time about everything. I mean everything. I'm so mentally drained I'm seeking some ways to manage these behaviors. I am a psych nurse so this is even more draining for me. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thankyou in advance! Help me (LOL)

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Separate them and tell them they can only play together when they are kind to one another.

[@zodiachair5173]

I'm in the same boat, so I'm here for suggestions too.

[@monicabarnard7708]

Thanks for the good advice. Could you please make a video about specific examples. We have a 14 yo and 6 yo that fights a lot.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Great suggestion! Monica Barnard, it is difficult because everyone's circumstances are so different with a worldwide audience. Talk to your partner, other parents who you are close to or family members for some ideas. You may even ask the child.

[@thisworldneedsjesus313]

I am currently going through this with a 15yo and 6yo. I'm going insane!!!!

[@LonjeMarie7]

4:15 Nice video thank you very very much

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are very welcome.

[@chooselife]

Love this.😊💚

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

choose life, thanks.

[@Mushroom321-]

"An act of chore for the opposite kid. gREAT idea! For a consequence

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Wendi Watson, thank you.

[@ColinCartoons]

What my parents do: Blame the youngest for everything even when the older one is bullying him because of some stupid Instagram post claiming that the youngest child is the bad one

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

ColinCartoons, sorry you are going through this.

[@keepingupwiththejoneses746]

I’m curious. When children are in stage 1 and are unwilling to cooperate when the fight is broken up, how do you facilitate an understanding of correlation between limiting or restricting access to something they enjoy. Do I only use that as a consequence if the thing they enjoy came into play? For example, if my children fight over a shared toy, and I restrict access to that toy versus, my kids fighting over something that belongs to only one child, who has the right to refuse sharing or giving up that toy, resulting in the offending child losing access to something he/she enjoys that is not the item in question. I guess what I am trying to ask, is, if it needs to correlate, what kind of consequence would be suitable in the latter example, and if it is restricting access to something unrelated, how do you correlate the offense to the consequence? I hope I made sense.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Natural consequences are best but other consequences can be used. Anything that motivates your child.

[@keepingupwiththejoneses746]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV thank you for your reply! My husband and I are former authoritarian parents, trying to learn and change to benefit our Littles and this change is so overwhelming and tricky

[@drnoorulain704]

During sibling fight my 11 years old boy hit others . Despite communication and counselling he always do this . And says about younger ones they irritate me first , I warned before I will hit you etc

[@cheyennepritchett1583]

I have been watching videos of yours trying to discipline my children appropriately. One of the biggest problems is siblings fighting. What would you recommend for kids close in age? (3 yrs old, 2 yrs old 1 yr old)

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Cheyenne Pritchett, some of it is normal, so go with that first. Model the behavior you want to see from them and reward them when they are acting the way you want.

[@wendyx2489]

I have a 3 year old and a 12 year old, the 3 year old hates his older sister he won’t let her near me or his stuff, idk what to do he’s so violent

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

3 yrs old? That is not typical, you might consider some therapy.

[@xecemama7229]

my 10 year kidis very challenging oppose and challenges all consequence if I take away what he like he says I don't care. we can't touch him he hate talking to all sensory issues ... I need real help here

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

xece mama, talk to your pediatrician and get help. There are therapies that can be beneficial.

[@akdarklight156]

I'm not a parent but a brother I am nice shy guy but with them I get easily triggered so I came here trust me I do nothing and say nicely but they don't listen

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Ak DarkLight, I believe you, model something different for them.

[@Mushroom321-]

YEAH, "the foundation" of the family 😃😼 The 3 Cs consequence Or family culture Connection Consultation & their stage.. 👍

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Wendi Watson, good to hear from you.

[@jessicavh1994]

I have a 22 month old and a 8 year old they fight all the time over toys they want it’s hard to know what to do because of their age different . Im pull my hair

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

At that age spread, I would think they would be into different kinds of toys. Good luck!

[@littlebuttercup5737]

bruh i never show my mum these vids bc i love fighting and annoting my sibling bc im the youngest heeeeeeeeeee

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Hopefully they get wise to you soon.

[@jaredrush6750]

If i was on the same amount of Prozac as these two, I wouldn't need advice on kids.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

?

[@tiffytoo]

my two teens are driving my insane

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Tiffany Elliott, it can feel like that. Hopefully the video is helpful.

[@mohdjais8278]

Help me by brothers fight..

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

gacha c o o k l e z, I am sorry. Hopefully you can get your family to watch some of the videos and open up some conversation.

[@Pauli-xl8nr]

its simple, just let the oldest one to punish younger ones freely, and they will fear him/her, and do not fight

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Doesn't make for a happy family life. Respect.

[@erickaparicio-alvarez5733]

How do you stop yourself from punching the living hell out of your brother

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You think about something else and you don't cross that line.

[@ShadowLink_four_Sword123]

Where is my cousins would be sometime fight with me or fight with ashen

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

forestbite Red, I hope the video is helpful.

[@obamaprism204]

Ultimate channel for karens

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

xX MEMELORD Xx, thanks for watching.

[@obamaprism204]

Sorry if i offended u im 14 and i had nothing to do sorry

[@WayneZalinksy]

@@obamaprism204 haha love the honesty :)

[@lornangumbullu8385]

🙏🏾

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thanks for watching.

[@musandimande5533]

I am fighting with my little sister

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Musa Ndimande, I hope the video is helpful.

[@MyThoughtzAndOpinionz]

Fighting is apart of nature. So you have to teach them how to cooperate. Unfortunately even grown adults kills each other everyday over “stuff”. So no method is 💯 guaranteed.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

We can learn to live peaceably together.

[@obviousaron]

Waters wer

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you for watching.

[@vanessabbrooks698]

UG

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thanks for watching and commenting.

[@marthahubbard9463]

Blah blah blah These are not how to handle a situation. This is information that every parent knows

[@joshuahouse9970]

I have major problems with my nephews I live with them They’re drive me insane They Be Fighting all the time Fighting over they even Fight over where they’re going to sit at like I just don’t understand it has gotten me really upset to where I just started crying 😢 like they just don’t stop I feel it’s the youngest two. They definitely Fight a lot over Stuff even if it’s one little Hot wheel Toy They drive me Insane all they do is Fight like do they need to get checked I thinking that they’re is something wrong with them I just don’t Understand Them all the time Fight Fight Fight 😞😞

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

It probably has more to do with the parenting. Figure out what you have control over and then stay focused on that.

[@joshuahouse9970]

Live On Purpose TV what you mean Parenting

[@Jerry-uc1pn]

This video was not helpful at all

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thanks for the feedback.

[@BellaNesbitt-i1q]

V😂😢😢🎉🎉😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢

[@madisoncasey4832]

Hello I need help desperately my kids are 5 and almost 2 yes 2 is young but my baby is not a regular 1 and a half year old she's almost bigger then the almost 6 yr old she wears her clothes she's that big she's very swole and big for a almost 2 yr old.. she's so mean and abusive when she gets angry she hits stuff and goes crazy my 6 yr old she always wants to hit and scream scream so loud it drives me crazy I'm I'm home ALL day with them while husband works and I go crazy all day hearing them fight ALL day long.. idk what to do anymore the 2 yr old will wanna touch the 6 yr old daughter and or take something from her it's always being started by rhe 2 yr old taking something from her or hurting her whole there playing even if it's a accident or her fav thing is getting a toy and holding it over her head making the 6 yr old scream "mommy mommy help she's gonna hit me" neither one of them listen to me only listen to him I guess bc he's the big scary dad.. I canr do this no more I'm going crazy I'm so stressed I'm missing my periods I don't know who I I anymore I just found out I'm 26 with high high high suger with diabities and that's already a problem and it's a problem with Mt heart idk what to do or try I need something I need someone to help me.. anything idc what it is I need them to listen to me and stop fighting please.... I've tried everything it seems

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Consider a membership to go.liveonpurposecentral.com and you can ask questions in the Ask Dr. Paul time. We also have a course called Parenting Power Up that would be helpful for you.

[@chanellekirch]

Thank you

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You're welcome