How Women Fall in the 50/50 Trap & End Up Giving Much More - Dating Strategy

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[@CMarie.]

Housewife without children here. Why do these women think our men are unhappy,over-worked and stressed out? My husband was over 10 years into his career when I met him. He's always been a hard worker. His life actually got easier when he married me and he'd be the first to tell you. He goes to work and doesn't have to worry about much else. He absolutely has hobbies and enjoys his weekends relaxing and hanging out with me. His mental health is great. Everyone isnt broke and stressed about bills. Provider men are fine. Do it all if you want to, but that's not the life for me.

[@G.G.276]

EXACTLY! MINE RUN THE SHOW AND ENJOY THE REWARDS! HE IS LIVING HIS DREAM HE CARVED OUT FOR HIM, I ENOY WATCHING HIM GROW INTO HIS GOALS! LIKE HIS FATHER TAUGHT HIM! WORK FOR YOUR GOALS!SO YOUR GOALS WILL WORK FOR YOU!

[@omowhanre]

That’s what bothers them- that you’re both happy. But we all know that you’re being ABUSED and secretly hate your life, lol 😂. I’m a stay at home Black Mom and it’s funny.

[@mynameispeaches]

I was wondering where she was getting this scenario from when she has never lived it. Just making things up.

[@CMarie.]

@mynameispeaches No experience, just lots of silly opinions. That's a huge chunk of the internet. lol

[@mi3helle707]

Frfr ❤

[@phalynwilliams4119]

Michelle Obama even went there. I remember that she once said that women need to take the time and care of themselves because men always find a way to look after themselves. This young lady has been deceived.

[@nicolem2877]

And she filed for divorce too. If her and Barack were continuously birthing and raising kids together now (for ex.sans birth control) they wouldn’t hv stayed together!!! Her kids grew up and he left the presidency which is what freed her from the lopsided arrangement that happens within a patriarchy. She’s basically like a single woman again. Able to concentrate on herself, her dreams AND marriage to him. Doesn’t mean Barack ever started pulling his weight!!!!😂

[@nothereyetlost]

Lol 😂😂😂 Obama is the same type of man 😂😂😂

[@ChosenChild-j9i]

No real man would ask a women to go 50/50.

[@phalynwilliams4119]

Exactly! And they get hobbies if they want them.

[@Ourown311]

Exactly! They never do.

[@AfroGirl5852]

Exactly!!!

[@nataliesasha8216]

My dad works, pays bills, has hobbies, goes on vacation too. Soooo….

[@stellahshujaa3336]

Same.....my Dad and three married brothers pay ALL the bills and have hobbies. Shoot, two of my brothers turned one of their favorite hobbies, carpentry, into a very profitable side business.

[@7Mushrooms7]

Yes men can be providers and still have free time, hobbies and savings.

[@legallycurvy]

right men always find a way to enjoy themselves bc they are inherently selfish (not a bad thing women are just so outwardly focused)

[@ivaobryant]

Same

[@HoneyGold-o3r]

She don't know that cause she never had a provider man

[@ShortDarknLovely]

Being a domestic goddess is a 24-hour job. You're the first to wake up and the last to go to bed. People go to the office and leave at the end of the day. You can't do the same when you're the CEO of the household.

[@Thatcaramelchic]

Exactly, that left a bad taste in my mouth. I’m a stay at home mom and even though I’m not making money I’m contributing in domestic labor and parenting. I’m used to men not understanding that but a woman saying that is especially disappointing.

[@sweetpeaj1952]

That part

[@loveyourselffirst549]

Domestic Goddess? Don't you mean indentured servant?

[@Matoaka365]

I was a nanny to 3 homeschooled children from birth until the ages of 6 & 12 (twins). Their parents worked outside of the home... Then I became an office manager at a property management company. When I tell you, my office job is a piece of cake compared to being a nanny. 😂 Because when I clock out, I CLOCK OUT. lol!

[@uzougwu1511]

​@@Thatcaramelchic same. I am not married but i take care of my parents my dad still provides but it gets tiring doing domestic labour. We have some1 who cleans but still i have to manage them and make sure they are doing it right. It makes me sometimes not want to have kids as it is overwhelming sometimes

[@IcecreamdreamChocolate-u7d]

50% on the bills and 100% on childcare and domestic chores Could never be me

[@mzansialerts2474]

100% pregnancy 100%childbirth 100% chance of being single caretaker if he leaves for a younger woman after using you and your money to save up and provide for his new younger woman.

[@Lala-eo4eq]

Woo 🎯

[@sipiwemutemwa4733]

Never me, never!

[@nothereyetlost]

You forgot pregnancy. That is jair modern traditionalism.

[@missunique5227]

People like to infantilize men for some reason. A man working 40+ hours a week is not going to have the same strain on a woman working those same hours. Men are physically and mentally built to work more.

[@kristenmoonrise]

Exactly. She's seeing men through her eyes and clearly doesn't have good examples to draw from.

[@RobinShane]

I have no idea why we collectively do it, but I’m over it. The best thing you can do for a man is encourage him to work, be productive and get his affairs in order.

[@catcoffee7958]

Say it louder to the people in the back

[@Divinely.sacred]

Agreed

[@sweetpeaj1952]

Well said. She tried to have a 'pick me' moment not realizing she's setting herself up for being a masculina.

[@rensii-e8b]

Yes. I saw it as advertisement. She wants to be picked SOO bad.

[@JT-tx2ns]

OMG that nickname is hilarious

[@Stachios77]

Not masculina!😭😂

[@melissa-qe7fp]

She's going to FAFO

[@Lucey2]

@rensii-e8b That's exactly what her video was ...an advertisement.😂 I hope she gets what she wants because when she does, she'll see that she played herself.

[@bettyeboop2942]

As a divorced woman who did 50/50 with my ex-husband, I got tired of it. When I had my son, I had no free time, and all our issues got worse. I get more free time being divorced than married, I have more money, and I love it. DON'T FALL FOR THE 50/50 TRAP!!!!!

[@fruitsarelife7073]

If you are a mother you automatically do more than 50/50, because he didn’t get pregnant and birth anyone, that is a big chunk of labour that you take on, which should be compensated by your man.

[@Kool-DJ]

Same here - except we had no kids!!! It was exhausting. I WILL NEVER do that again. Being divorced is like being on an endless vacation. I have so much free time! I can't believe I ever lived like that.

[@Bebetter2day2]

Facts! Road to divorce especially when you already have some issues.

[@musingsofharmony3159]

It ain't nothing but lies. I work part-time and I'm married with children. People will run you into the ground if you let them.

[@t.j.m7131]

Preach girl 👏🏾 talk facts to these women from a place of experience

[@chipchipcheerio]

This dusty told me just this morning that he expects his GIRLFRIEND to cook and clean for him. He got pissed when I brought up that she has her own place to clean, why do you expect her to clean yours?

[@TBTMovies96]

This is hilarious 😂😂😂😂next he'll want to move in....

[@Ria19907]

She's dumb for even doing that for a boyfriend. Ain't no way 🤦🏿

[@digolaverdad7313]

Tell her you expect your high value man to hire someone for that. High caliber men have trophies and house work is done by the staff 😂

[@tikifreaky5204]

@@Ria19907whats dumb about taking care of your partner?

[@Ria19907]

@@tikifreaky5204 There's nothing dumb about that at all. I'm saying if she's good enough for that, depending on how long the relationship is, why not marry her? Women need to stop selling themselves short like that.

[@Truebeauty_98]

Every man I have met had MORE free time than me while making triple my income. Not sure who she’s attracting, but trust ALOT of them having their way. They having coffee, lunch, shopping, gym trips, golf trips, happy hour, hair cut appointments. A man will TOY with you, if you allow him. Don’t fall for the OKE-DOKE 😂

[@Tessy29k]

Exactly people don't understand that when you start making serious money most of the time you aren't working as much anymore because your time becomes more valuable. You are literally paid MORE for your time

[@mariaalmasaniroyalhouse9214]

@@Truebeauty_98 men’s time is their priority and clearly you are and she ain’t it

[@ddoubleu170]

For real! ☝🏾

[@OliviaOlali]

I love this ❤😂.....

[@Introvertsan]

They do have a lot of free time even when they are married with children or live with their relatives. They make time for what they want to do always

[@l3zfrancais]

Her husband will use this against her. He will have every excuse to be out the home “exploring hobbies.” Not helping.

[@freshface4782]

💯💯

[@effinj9353]

This poor woman doesn’t know her worth or the nature of men.

[@Ourown311]

And that's the truly sad part.

[@kiatalks555]

This girl is naïve and ignorant. She knows nothing about a grown womans work because its ALOT and a man who loves you WANTS to be able care for you and his family as much as possible in this short life. Girl Please Stop.

[@VirgosGroove3]

I remember this video on TikTok 😵‍💫 I rolled my eyes immediately. Rich men have hobbies, she’s just not dating one.

[@phalynwilliams4119]

Rich 🤑 men invented the hobby and broke men have hobbies too. That’s how sports 🏀 and the jumbo size flat screen 📺 TV’s became so popular. The men wanted to see the ball 🏈 and/or the field, etc., better. The cable tv 📺 industry took off after they created sports channels, etc. Fancy cars 🚙 and yachts 🛥️ became luxury items so men could have hobbies. We are surrounded by men and their hobbies. A lot of inventions were created because men were “tinkering” as a hobby. SMH. She doesn’t know what she is talking about.

[@tunamayhoe]

Even a regular guy would have more time for hobbies than her if they were to be in a 50/50 relationship because he would be having fun while she is taking care of the house while both are working full-time. It's propaganda!

[@Ourown311]

Exactly! Women like that assume because they are exhausted from working, that men are too. They aren't. The men will be fine. They aren't built the same.

[@mojojojo8213]

Facts😂 golf/ pickle ball anyone?

[@sherice1730]

She sounds inexperienced and idealistic. She needs to get some live in boyfriend experience. She will back peddle on all her 50/50 ideas because men will not do 50/50 of the house work. Add kids and it will be the women who is doing all the paperwork enrolling them in school, missing work for doctors appointments, cooking the meals.

[@AlexxxCrossss]

@@TheFemaleT.D.Jakes1they want kids the most 😂

[@c.carter7219]

I tried to tell my friend this but she won’t listen!

[@RobinShane]

The fact that’s she not married, nor has kids makes her truly naive to the reality she’s tryna promote.

[@orevaonaemor3865]

E go soon clear for her eyes.kontinu.😊😊I laugh in Nigerian pidgin.

[@Pardonmytravel]

They still never get picked and it’s so sad.

[@annkelly6349]

😂😂😂

[@JT-tx2ns]

EVER

[@cebile1493]

Exactly ✔️💯 then they hate on those that get picked but do not subscribe to their beliefs 😅😅😅

[@4everfaithfulun2Him]

They definitely get picked ... the most ... because most blk men in America are not traditional about anything except wanting to be in charge. She will have a broke man and a ring and 3 kids within a decade unfortunately.

[@KarmVer]

I used to be like that. It got me nowhere. It is sad.

[@etherealgalaxies6]

I've never been happier to be 39 and single. I refuse to settle.

[@RM-uk4xq]

If you want a relationship and you don’t get one that’s the ultimate form of settling. Getting 60% of what you want is settling, getting 0% is settling MORE 😂😂😂😂

[@RM-uk4xq]

@@gcc2313 either you have a relationship or you don’t. If you want one & you don’t have one you’re settling because no relationship is not your preferred outcome

[@RedElephant169]

This is my first pregnancy and I now feel even more convicted about ‘hypergamy or nothing’. My husband is amazing, a full provider, and a wonderful man in every way. But only one of us is pregnant, only one of us can give birth and only one of us can breastfeed. So just by the nature of our biology there are ways women will inherently be doing certain major things 100/0 even with the most supportive partners. So choosing to not prioritize finding a man with the finances to make up for the inherent inequality is crazy to me. It’s WILD to me that women are out here preaching hypogamy or 50/50. Because if you want kids you are signing up to make huge physical sacrifices that only you can perform in exchange for literally nothing. 50/50 for a woman (especially a woman who wants kids) is not equal imo

[@Empiredigits]

Congratulations 🎉 you made great points about biology . What women risk in romantic relationships is of intrinsic value ( birthing and sustaining life , psychological access, vitality ) . On the other hand , Money ( what 50”50 men claim to be at risk 😂) is only of extrinsic value and therefore can be recovered . Time and life ( vitality ) cannot be recovered once it is lost. A woman by default risks %100 of her life when dealing with a man . “ 50,50” is a euphemism for pimp exploitation. I agree the women who advocate for hypogamy should just go live a hypogamous life in peace . We really , truly don’t care 🥰.

[@BourgeoisBoys]

And what about the fact that men are expected to jump in front of a bullet for their women? Where the 50/50 there? lol

[@rachelmaddowswife8713]

@@BourgeoisBoys Most women give birth, I've literally never met a man who saw a speeding bullet coming in slow motion towards his wife and had the coordination to jump in front of her to absorb it. Have you? How likely is this superhero scenario to actually happen? I'd never "expect" someone to do something that isn't even possible.

[@BourgeoisBoys]

@@rachelmaddowswife8713 😂OMG, I'm obviously using a figure of speech; for the general protection men are expected to provide at the risk of their lives... 🙄 "slow motion" LOL you silly goose.

[@pgcpre]

Does she know that just because a man makes good money, it doesn't automatically mean he works a demanding job and has no time for hobbies, travel, and self-care? A man can make good money, be the sole provider, and have time for all of those things! I feel bad for this woman.

[@taginefc3189]

Exactly! Is her future husband a coal miner. Most of the men I know (including my man) don’t have jobs so taxing that it stops them from “having a life”. Her commentary screamed “scarcity mentality”..

[@reneew9125]

What is she talking about??? Oh so the golf course is full of dusties huh 🤣

[@phalynwilliams4119]

Exactly!

[@bluphirre]

This is the best comment!😂😂😂 I have to force my husband to go golfing with his friends, he just wants to be home after working all week.

[@Ourown311]

Exactly, she is ridiculous. Whatever she's saying makes no sense.

[@Itsnosierosie]

She said in the beginning that she isn’t a wife or mother and she lives alone. Until, she experiences that life she’ll continue to be idealistic. 😂

[@DS-hq9ob]

Exactly!! Once she gets all that, she’ll realise that a woman’s work is never done and that the 50/50 looks more like 80/20 and not in favour of her.

[@auty888]

My first boyfriend set the bar. Paid for my cosmetology school and gave me money every week, while paying my bills. I never had to pay ever in any relationship, even though I’m successful and have my own. Won’t start now!

[@Ourown311]

Exactly! Men are supposed to come with resources

[@BlackGirlWithSocialAnxiety]

How??? Teach me your game all I want is a handsome provider 😭

[@Memomommy]

You must be really pretty, smart and feminine good for you! Girl create a KZbin channel and teach us wounded feminine your ways lol

[@raventaes]

how and where you meet him

[@CaribeanBrit]

This video is an advertisement, she's desperate for marriage. Black men will love her because they can give her nothing, while sending money to the woman he really wants in south America 😂😂😂

[@JB-bl6qo]

lol🤣

[@bluphirre]

💀 😂

[@lolab1917]

Not in South America 😂

[@BitterPeachh]

This

[@tarawalton6778]

😅😂

[@Peacepeacelovelove]

Providers only era for black women👑 Partnership/Partner is another word for 50/50. Ladies don’t fall for it, you can do better by yourself. Only choose a PROVIDER 👑💅🏾

[@uzougwu1511]

So true that word partnership erks me

[@Kool-DJ]

"Teammate" is also another code word that is used.

[@pariscarla822]

That word has always rubbed me the wrong way. I hate it so much. Like, are we co workers? If we were “teammates” we would be playing the same field with the same set of rules. But alas 🙄

[@BitterPeachh]

True. Idk so far I've been attracting a lot of 50/50 men. Or, they would ask, "What your doing with your money."

[@tikifreaky5204]

Good luck with that in this economy. That’s not going to work for all black women.

[@jjasminedee3062]

I only love being the CEO of my household BECAUSE bills are covered by my husband. In his culture (Iranian) if the woman chooses to work any money she makes is hers alone to do as she pleases. I honestly can’t imagine it any other way. I’d have so much resentment 😂

[@Ianopike]

Good for you, you made a good deal (does he pay into your pension? You’ll probably outlive him.) I hate being economically dependent on my husband, and we earn about the same, so we go 50/50 on EVERYTHING: kids (except birthing and breastfeeding them 😂), bills, cooking, household work, how much time we have for hobbies or seeing friends etc. That’s quite normal here (we’re Swedish).

[@tunamayhoe]

@@Ianopike That is a concept not a lot of men figure out. For them, 50/50 is financial. Because they will either "babysit" their children and cook here and there but that is not 50/50. It's complex because of the dynamic of a couple but most 50/50 aren't really 50/50.

[@ShortDarknLovely]

@@Ianopike If he has life insurance that will be her pension.

[@Ianopike]

@@ShortDarknLovely Yes. But I have both his life insurance and my own pension, that’s why I was asking.

[@Ianopike]

@@tunamayhoe Very, very true, and it’s not perfectly equal for some couples here in Sweden either, despite us having maternity leave, paternity leave (just as long), job guarantee, affordable childcare, sick-child-leave (paid and unlimited) etc etc. Even with all that, some couples are doing maybe 65-35 rather than 50-50. It’s a slow moving elephant, culture.

[@mynameispeaches]

Her aesthetic said it all before she started talking. No makeup, sweatshirt, “low maintenance”. She will get her wish, for sure.

[@butm5125]

Yes, she will, I thought the same, too. Women like this will learn the hard way.

[@rainetravels1410]

😂😂😂she sure will !!

[@tinytotbot8397]

Well put!

[@orevaonaemor3865]

She definitely will and will regret it.But guess what,the internet never forgets.

[@tikifreaky5204]

What wrong with being “low maintenance”? Not every woman likes to waste money.

[@myab1471]

I'm not doing 50/50! Never have Never will. I grew up in a hypergamous household.

[@rainetravels1410]

You are so fortunate to have grown up in that type of a household in my household. My mother was the mule, worked multiple jobs while my biological father worked one job. They were married, my mom walked out on him in the end.😢

[@Ourown311]

And that's how it should be

[@Ourown311]

​@@rainetravels1410 yep it always ends up that way

[@levelupgoddess9289]

The fact that she thinks her man is not gonna have a hobby is😂😂😂😂. Mam, no matter what men do, they will ALWAYS have hobbies AND spend money on expensive things they want.😂😂😂 These women STILL DONT GET it. When men talk about 50/50, they ONLY mean when it comes to finances and bills. These men STILL EXPECT u to do ALL the housework and child rearing.😂😂 Imagine going to deaths door to butt a child and be the only one taking care of the kids, home and man; doing every as STILL be expected to pay half the bills. 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

[@BelleAngeliqueMarie]

Being a mother is my full time job. I’m the first to wake up and the last to go to bed. I cook, I’m on the school PTO, I’m a room parent, I run my kids to baseball, track and gymnastics, etc. I’m exhausted. And that’s in addition to working full time from home. I just hired a housekeeper this year because I couldn’t keep up. I need my time to exercise, keep up with my beauty maintenance (of course I’m expected to still look cute) and have my own hobbies. I think women without children have no idea how much time they take.

[@Tessy29k]

I settled when I was 18 and dated my first ever boyfriend and was treated horribly. From 23 I became extremely ruthless and refused to settle. I raised my standards and my self esteem and developed my confidence and identity. Got my masters and an investment property then at 26 I met my hubby to be. Now i'm treated like a princess while pregnant, I don't work at all and get spoiled and provided by my hubby to be who loves me so so much.👩🏾‍❤️‍👨🏼💍🏡 🤱❤ 💷 Never settle ladies.

[@rainetravels1410]

❤❤🎉🎉🎉 EXTREMELY RUTHLESS.. I felt those words. Congrats 👏🎉🎉🎉 i pray. You have a happy, healthy baby!

[@kenya4341]

How did you do it? How did you develop your identity and confidence? I truly desire to do what you did

[@raventaes]

“extremely ruthless” and stay that way too.

[@DaquanaWhite]

Watching my brothers PROVIDE while having hobbies, trying new things, traveling, cooking -

[@UrbanEconomist5]

I’ve seen women hold “the village” more accountable for their life and responsibility than the husband they’re married too because…. They want their husband to have “free time”

[@JessicaGambling-r7x]

I was with a man who wanted a 50/50 relationship, mean while his mother was a stay at home wife. We lasted 4 months 🥴

[@alveniamcqueen5696]

It would have been nice to know what she does.

[@Xeyne098]

​@@alveniamcqueen5696 stay at home

[@JessicaGambling-r7x]

​@@alveniamcqueen5696 she was a homemaker and home schooled all 4 of her children

[@callalilly4743]

Peak pick me behavior that will not get her picked.

[@LearnAsYouGo.]

I am single & childfree but decided to host & cook Thanksgiving dinner twice for my family. I will never do it again! It was so much work & hard on my body! I felt so bad for all the women before me especially my mom that did all this work for years then went to work on Black Friday! It’s too much!

[@c.carter7219]

Yes!!!

[@247good]

You are speaking truth. I hope she learns without having to experience it. Been there. Done that. Extreme burn out.

[@tiffyq7794]

My husband has a hobby, savings, mental health , he’s not slaving, he’s a senior exec that has team that he delegates to, if a man is struggling with all that to pay the bills then he really can’t afford to. My husband works less than most do, I’m not sure why ppl push this narrative out as if every man is struggling to pay all the bills.

[@tunamayhoe]

It's the hustle mentality. They think that if you're earning a lot of money, you're spending a lot of time working when it's common knowledge high earners actually work less and those above them even have their money producing more money.

[@DW-es2en]

This!

[@tikifreaky5204]

Because most people are

[@Emarion-brown]

When I was married..I worked, went to school, did all of the cooking and parenting, did most of the cleaning, all while being pregnant. I paid MOST of the bills. lol and I was getting cheated on. I do not regret my divorce.

[@karzymimi42]

I hope you’re doing a lot better now. Sorry you went through that. Men are extremely selfish and it’s disgusting. My heart aches when I hear women discuss all the ways they take care of the household and children. 50/50 is a scam.

[@BarbieDawl.__]

I will say most of the nastiest woman have come across at work were either married or in relationships or whatever they were with a man. Single women never acted any type of way towards me, but it was always woman who was in a relationship with a man. A lot of them felt intimidated. A lot of them wanted to compare their body to me.. It was very weird.

[@freshface4782]

Yep.

[@karzymimi42]

Depends on the kind of marriage or relationship they’re in.

[@missunique5227]

I think she’s referring to the trade and factory workers over working themselves just to get by. Baby the higher up in position you go the less work you’re required to do and you have more leisure time 😂

[@no.6377]

That's what I was thinking. She proably expects to date someone who's low income or blue collar(not necessarily the same thing! Some of these blue collar guys make a really good living). But even these men often go out to drinks with their buddies and play some sports, so they clearly have some free time.

[@tikifreaky5204]

So she’s talking about most people then ?

[@christiannatai98]

Exactly. Must be blue collar men

[@ksmilesknowsmoney5986]

That woman is delulu 😂

[@TessieDobey]

See when you step into this 50/50 relationship you need to ask questions. Are we going 50/50 on the bills, 50/50 on the cleaning, shopping, cooking, and washing? Will I be dropping the kids off to school and you picking them up or vice versa. I need clarification! Don't just jump right in. Make certain that you are getting the full 411! These men can be slicksters.

[@Chingchinglotto]

I worked at a restaurant where the Mexican Chef had his wife as a line cook. They kept their newborn baby in the office all day while they both worked. He spoke better english and made twice as much as she did, but he had her doing the same work as him. It was so exhausting just watching that poor wife. She would have been so better off single. But I realized shes an immigrant and her options were few. I am grateful I don't have to be in a situation like that. There was nothing appealing about working alongside her husband for long hours. She still had to care for the baby, be intimate with her husband and pay half of everything. That is truly a nightmare. 50/50 feels so abusive and wrong. Im single and childless and prefer this to 50/50. Because I can do 100% on my own. Why would I settle for a man that can't do 100% for me.

[@Dr.Babe_]

I think she’s referring to a man at her level or lower. Because men of means who earn more still have time to invest in hobbies and leisure time with family or their friends or their co-workers and all that. But her mentality on that topic I am sure is coming from a place where she’s imagining herself with a payslip to payslip bro. She needs to level up her mindset.

[@Jaxjax1314]

I always say if I have to do 50/50 I’d rather do it alone it’s cheaper 😂

[@purpleflows5680]

My dad has more hobbies than anyone in our family😂 He’s always been the provider. My husband, who’s a provider, has hobbies, takes vacations, and saves more now than when he was single. Also, being a SAHW or SAHM is a full time, 24/7 job with no paid vacation or time off. Even on vacation, women often end up working by caring for the family’s needs and ensuring every thing goes well. This just rarely gets acknowledged.

[@noona514]

I work and have my own bag. A man needs to contribute to my life; otherwise, what the hell is there for? I wanted for nothing in my father's house. You want to take me from my father's house and have me live with less and be worse off? I think tf not.

[@respectfullyg5580]

Saw this comment of a woman saying that her daughter makes her boyfriends resume and now he has a job because she was willing to invest in him . This is under that umar Johnson interview . Black men were singing her praises in her replies. I was stuck like ???? He cant make A resume??? These are literally non traditional npcs

[@ceecope3797]

Then they get the job and get arrogant thinking he did it by himself😮

[@gojosgirl6487]

Do you know how many resources we have for writing resumes now? He could use Google, Microsoft Word, heck we have freaking AI now that can write a resume FOR you. He was just LAZY, and I'm willing to bet money he didn't ask any MEN to write his resume, he found a woman he could manipulate into doing it. Imagine a grown man that can't figure out how to write a resume, did she find that attractive or just his "potential?"

[@d2d2d3d3]

There's a study, I think by PEW within the past 5 years where, in heterosexual relationship the men rarely do 50%, even if he's a SAH, and she's the breadwinner.

[@moniquew3603]

Her tune will change when/if she has kids. That's when she'll really feel the imbalance. She'll start feeling like she has two jobs and is working 24/7.

[@musingsofharmony3159]

Married with children. I have only worked part-time, and that is all I intend to do. Lol, this lady is just speaking from inexperience.

[@charmaineespeut4627]

Do you help your husband with 1 or 2 bills? I am against 50/50. My friend says its selfish to not help once I start working because its too much pressure for one person to pay all the bills. I asked my husband if he agrees and he did! Now I am feeling guilty, I don't mind helping but I am not going 50/50

[@Tessy29k]

​​​@@charmaineespeut4627 maybe you can pay the cheapest bill in the house but whatever you do, don't pay for the food bill. You do not want to be responsible for buying constant food for a man and children. Men and kids usually eat more than women.

[@aminaadam3617]

There are male psychologist and relationship experts like Dr John Gray,who are telling women to let the man provide and protect.WHY?... because men need it more than we do.They are the giving energy,and women do the most important job by having kids and nurturing them.Every married, working woman knows it's a different ball game than what is on social media,unless you have a maid and nanny...

[@respectfullyg5580]

Say this tt of a thing saying dont help men, men who was for help are predators/ looking for a couch or in public if a man ask you for help hes about to kidnap you or assault.

[@angiesworld8038]

I want ZERO CHILDREN because I can't afford them and then why would I do that so the guy can later start acting an ass on me? Why would I have children when the guy aren't treating me right? NOPE staying childless for life.

[@Anonymous_JK_Lover]

It's just funny to see the men in her comments just say "There's still hope" or "I wish I had one like you". Not where do you live so I can take you out? Or I would marry you this instant. Just giving her self-serving compliments ("yay a woman cosigns my bare minimum") and moving on.

[@angelmushahf]

(For single women) In my experience, men who only pay 50/50 or less are either broke or not that interested in me. There are exceptions, but I promise you, there is someone in the world who is willing to pay 70% or more just so he can have you in his life. He’s out there. For now, focus on bettering yourself, keep your heart open, be patient and focus on peace. Never settle for less.

[@nikkiloveslife4841]

I keep telling BW that any man that’s asking you to go 50-50, even though he can afford to pay 100%, doesn’t want you. A man is only going to pay 100% if you are his preference.

[@sotired9790]

Who said their husband couldn't have hobbies, etc, and only could work and pay bills? She just made that stuff up..

[@tiffniejackson7399]

Sounds like Red Pill talking points to me. 🤔🤔🤔

[@Diana734]

Nah. Not trying to work myself into an early grave. Single it is!😁

[@Sarinleigh]

Are date generous men

[@tikifreaky5204]

So u pay 100% of the bills & do 100% of the housework

[@kieshaarielle]

The fact she is single and has no kids speaking on what she wouldn't want her husband to do i.e. be the only one working shows exactly why she has no clue what married life with children look like. I used to be that woman who thought, "Yes, we both should work." But, when you have to bare the burden of pregnancy, childbirth, postpartum, raising children, keep the house clean, and cook - please tell me how much of "sitting around doing nothing" that is. Not to mention the mental load of planning, organising and managing the entire family's life. HA! Women really need to deep dive into all the other stuff we do as women - let that man go out there and *WORK* to support and provide for the family he created with you. As women we fail to realise how much we truly do, until we get *TIRED* and break down from all the compound stress we've endured overtime. I for sure wont have my children (both boys and girls) doing any form of 50/50 when they get older and get married

[@NathiM03]

My dad takes care of the bills ( a very demanding job as a diplomat), constantly pursuing education- a joy of his ( recently got his PhD), he’s a marathon runner and above all of that he’s an amazing father and husband to my mom and yet, it’s not a burden on him he actually finds joy in playing all those roles. My mom was a house wife but she found a passion in health care so she went back to school and owns her own medical practice but it’s her choice. I hate when we make provider men are automatically miserable. You’re not vetting the correct men. There are men who are able to “have it all” and give their wives “all” as well. They are not exclusive. My mom makes her own but she doesn’t have to. It’s purely her joy.

[@WIGAHOLIC14]

You would be better off just paying a 100% on your own. 50/50 is never 50/50 and when people actually weigh the real costs the woman loses the most the majority of the time. All your costs and bills go up when someone else is in the household. Food costs drastically change, water, electric, internet, phone bills and etc all go up. Majority women make less then most men. Women costs drastically increase in 50/50. You losing you peace and sanity to pay more just have a man in your house no thank you. Not to mention as discussed all you labor goes up and stress do not do it ladies it's a SCAM. Definitely make sure you covered if things go left but make sure the man is covering way more financial while you save a just in case stash.

[@SunRayBabyJ]

It is putting down women who stay at home. I think it's jealousy.

[@PrincessYonna1]

I agree, they’re jealous !

[@Damnsaburna]

Ayyy I just binged ur last few vids. Loveee ur content 😩

[@nikkirockznikkirockz8551]

YeS, and these Mamnies must be stopped!! 💥

[@LearnAsYouGo.]

She missing the point because who said a provider man wouldn’t have hobbies, savings, good mental health or a life?? She’s speaking from a place of lack as if she can’t imagine a man being able to provide for his family & have all those others things.

[@whatnow8080]

Um...nobody asked Natasha for her take on it. She is fishing for a man and trying to ingratiate herself to one of them 50/50 men. She thinks she is doing herself a favor but 50/50 is never that. The woman always ends up doing more. And why is she infantalizing men? Shouldn't he know to make time for his hobbies and mental health and to work out to keep fit? And yet somehow they find time to cheat if they have to. Smh

[@jpmiyuka]

This woman clearly doesn’t like herself, a pick me. As a married woman I would never opt for 50/50. I did it before I was married and I hated my life. Even contemplating taking it. I left and never went back.

[@DrCrystalHarris]

Yes and my dad was a provider man, my mother’s teachers salary was all hers. She usually paid for her maintenance and a vacation. If he’s got money, he wont care.

[@AkaiOtinashi]

Women who announce they prefer 50/50 are weird. It's always the ones who never been a SAHW/M or think it's not an option. I was a SAHW for a few years and never did I lay around. As the sole provider my husband still enjoyed hobbies because I mostly handled the home so he had plenty of free time after work to relax. He made my life easier so I made his life easier. Not a hard dynamic to understand unless you've only dealt with below average men.

[@trenellclarke10]

I don’t think she wants to appear better, I think bc she doesn’t have a husband or kids, she’s speaking out of her ass….she knows not what she says bc she’s never had to do it before. Basically she’s never been in the situation so she shouldn’t really be speaking on it

[@dejanasnaturalway]

Exactly. Once I heard no kids. I said oh brother

[@annasirri87]

I used to think this way. Until I got pregnant and had c-section birth. I had to stay home 6 months. Ladies, please, go with a provider man.

[@AlexxxCrossss]

Why is she making this rant and she doesn’t even have a husband or anybody that wants to marry her?🤦‍♀️the pick me behavior is insane

[@eyes9596]

The issue with a lot of women is they’re used to putting other people needs above theirs. 50/50 rent but household chores all yours leads to stress, because you’re going to be doing the laundry and house on your off days. The days you’re supposed to regenerate to prepare for work. I’ve seen this dynamic with my own eyes. My own mother sat me down, and told me how she’s at peace because she left her husband. Some times it takes experiencing it to see this. For women the issue is they learn this when it’s too late.

[@t.j.m7131]

I too am not married and childless. Gone are the days in my 20s i bought into over proving myself to men as a contributor. It's a mental game they play with us of chase the carrot! I've watched the women in my family, neighbourhood, church and my own friends who married young have men repeat this nonsensical treatment demanding a lot and draining women. She has limited observational skills and is selling herself, achievements under pick me energy. I stopped respecting women who do this. She's wilfully ignorant

[@theorderofthebees7308]

If Men really wanted a 50 50 situation then they would advocate for women to get pay equally as men. I don’t hear that from Men- a women paying 50 50 and getting paid statically less is crazy. Know your worth and don’t settle for less

[@adetomiakintitan4980]

My first reaction to this video was “she sounds like she’s pitching herself to future prospects”😂

[@dokessezeaka5159]

I’m so confused, what does she mean by just sitting around?? Would she not be cooking, cleaning, looking after the kids and running errands?? By mum quit her job after my little brother was born, he has autism, so raising him was a lot more exhausting than just doing a 9-5. Even till this day she doesn’t rest, she wakes up at 6 to make his lunch and breakfast, gets him ready for school, then runs errands, cleans, locks him up and takes him to his lessons, stays with him to help with his homework, cleans and cooks again before my dad gets back , and this repeats almost everyday. I love my dad for being a provider, but that’s all he does, he’s not involved in our lives much, hes mostly just concerned about himself. Gets up, makes breakfast or eats what’s my mum makes then he doesn’t have to deal with his family until he comes home and even then he’s still just focused on work. But my dad has his own social life and a large group of friends where he goes to events and meetings everymonth. Where’s my mum might be lucky to even have the time to tag along

[@tatierichie]

I had to explain it to a patient who was a stay at home mother and a wife. She was exhausted. Me, the family doctor and a single woman with no kids looked more fresh 🤦🏾‍♀️ I mean come on...she cried 💔

[@MiraMira0ntheWall]

That 50/50 life quickly turns to resentment when the woman burns out. So no they can have all the positives and pay most of the bills.

[@flobradley]

She isn’t married yet, so doesn’t understand how life really works. My husband works and I stay home. He has a lot of hobbies including: -Tennis (he’s on 2 teams a Men and Mixed Doubles) -Gym -Annual son and dad only ski trip -Annual Guys Fishing Trip on the Gulf -Old Man Breakfast (he gets together with retired military guys and they meet for breakfast and sometimes lunch) -Hiking -Biking -Running -Poker Game with guys from the neighborhood -Shooting (he has a membership to a gun range) -And he used to ride dirt bikes These are just a handful of his interests and hobbies. Men can work full time and still make time for things they are interested in. I do not work outside the home and do most of the domestic stuff. I do have a housekeeper and lawn service so we both have time for each other and our different interests (I play tennis as well, do a few trips with the ladies a year, book club, gym, standing ladies lunch date on Fridays) There is No Way a 50/50 split would work in our household. He’s never bought a gift for his family during the holidays nor knows how I get his white shirts so bright… I don’t know how to change the lightbulbs on the ceiling nor how to turn on the grill. Our son had basketball practice at 6:45AM this morning, but, my husband didn’t even know what time I left to take him. On the flip-side, he travels for work and is sometimes out of the house by 4AM. We both have our contributions and understand our rolls. No one is ever confused about what needs to be done and whose responsibility it is to do it.

[@flobradley]

*roles not rolls ❤

[@eLLeBelle2484]

Nothing but facts. While I would love to lend advice, there are some people who have to learn on their own. If that’s what she wants to do, let her. We have to realize that every Black woman is not going to advocate for hypergamy, no matter how much it benefits them. It’s the same with any other toxic relationship trait. Some women are gonna keep letting their “man” borrow their car, sit on the couch, do nothing, have no ambition, borrow money, disrespect them, etc, etc, etc. Smh it’s draining to even think of. All I know is that you can’t tell most women what to do in those relationships bc they will only leave and raise their standards when they’re ready (or forced). I just hope it’s before being forced bc it’s terribly traumatizing. I’m literally in Atlanta right now bc my best friend’s fiancé passed suddenly (👀) & I prayed so hard before coming here. Like, “Please don’t let nobody ask me about that man Jesus!! PLEASE PUT A MUZZLE ON MY MOUTH BC YOU KNOW I’M GONNA SPEAK THE TRUTH!” She’s still lost in the sauce too smh & I hate that for her, but even she can admit that she should’ve left him years ago. Everything he had was bc of her & he could barely do 30%. I had to back away from her for a while bc of it bc I just couldn’t take it. I’m here bc I know she’s hurting & I love her, but other than that, no ma’am! Now she’s raising their 4 year old son even more alone than she was before. It’s tragic. She’s college educated, beautiful, an amazing cook, bomb body, stylish, funny, but….idk, she obviously doesn’t value herself. Hopefully one day she will & won’t pick another dusty. 🤷🏽‍♀️🙏🏾 Sorry for the long comment. This just hit way too close to home for me right now. 😔

[@porichechannel]

A nice youtube channel would be to revisit these ladies.. and see how life turned out😂

[@Kenaroyaale]

Do she want a man who makes poverty wages? I’m confused 😂

[@sandrasmith7799]

Even if it 50/50, he gonna lose his job and then you ll be pulling your weight and his....I'm done..

[@ChrissyBeTalking]

I’ve never been in a 50/50 relationship. 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@annkelly6349]

Of course she doesn't because she's an independent masculina. Literally no one who understands and advocates for hypergamy wants this either.....

[@theorderofthebees7308]

I think some Black Women are uncomfortable with being taken care of . Other communities, on average are okay with being taken care of. A generous man has no problem providing.

[@MachineGunKali]

I don’t give a damn if I make 100000,000,000 trillion gazillion dollars a year, I’ll still wanna provide a man.

[@witneeb6670]

Chrissie thank you so much for reinforcing this information! Thank you thank you thank you!! ❤

[@ninawestlake5005]

Listening while working out. Gotta stay cute in the face and slim in the waist. She can do whatevet she wants. I am hypergamous to the core. The ride and die girl has always died, so....if a man cannot be what god has ordained him to be primarily, than what's the point?

[@aylaa4774]

50/50 is too much. I need him to do atleast 70. Atleast. I can do other things. That don’t mean I do not work , it just means he takes atleast 70% of the bills. With my parents my father took the biggest bills and my mother took the smaller ones. And she worked part time. But my mother took on almost all the work at the home, Which never ends, she cooked us fresh meals every day. She always made sure the house was clean and tidy, she took care of all of us. She was there physically, mentally and emotionally all the time for all of us. If my mother was not present , you could feel the lack. The lack of love and organization in the home. Not to mention the mother takes on all the burden of birthing, nuturing, raising, staying up sleepless nights, sacrifizing sleep , body and health. If anything it ended up my mother doing the most. Being married / living together should be a pluss for both of us. There are things men are not good at, I’m better at. I have lived with a man , and there are just things and tasks that come naturally to women that do not come naturally to men. We will just automatically do more. Generally, not all women ofc. I will never go 50/50 with a man, that man is not my man, Thats my roomate. He should naturally want to take care of me, and I should naturally want to take care of him thats relationship. Sorry long comment.

[@BitterPeachh]

I wouldn't mind 80-20%

[@aylaa4774]

@ 70 atleast but If he offers 80, even better :)

[@Ricoque-u2m]

My girlfriend is going thru a divorce from a Tyrone. I just found out her ex husband only worked (3) yrs of their 11yr marriage with two sons. She’s bi racial and her Becky Latina mother told her she was black (a negrita) even though she grew up exclusively with white Latinos and constantly pokes at her. She confessed that now she believes she was paying for a man, because he made her give him a pay out from her 401k & pension with sign documents to leave her alone.

[@nikkiloveslife4841]

I will NEVER go 50-50. I refuse to settle. I refuse to be Barbra the builder. I did it before.

[@cancerr1sing]

Late night post from Chrissie? Yayyyyy! 😁 (PS, we BEG you for a holiday live stream 🤭🥹)

[@sweetdoc1472]

She’ll find out.

[@ZoraDelaney]

So she disregards unpaid women's labor in the home, calling it "doing nothing". 🤔😏🙄👎

[@tracy-thomass8345]

She doesn’t have a child of course let her cm back and tell us how things are going when she has one

[@2021noname]

She’ll come back dehydrated with bags under her eyes while her husband is off to the gym or bar 🙄🙄🙄

[@Tessy29k]

I pray she don't have kids with this mindset. Her children will be living in poverty child.

[@teaksafiya]

There’s no such thing as 50/50 relationships to we both give 100%. I am 45 and single. I provide well for myself and expect my future husband to improve on the foundation I have built. I have no desire to continue the role of sole provider

[@jaytruth6503]

Hi Chrissie thanks for the consistency we love it! ☺️

[@Taj-Mahal]

No wonder. She has no idea. Bless her single with no experience heart 😉😂

[@randoomly39484]

I love attending a Chrissie's Class 😍 She says she's "fully" educated, right ? Miss educated must also pursue a degree in cleaning and another one in cooking. That takes years of education too. We don't do it randomly here. You need agility in cleaning to get chores done on time, strategy when cooking to be cost-conscious (while making a delicious meal), and you need discpline to balance it all. Also u need to look appealing while doing it all. On top of that, you need to enjoy yourself doing it on the daily basis and treat it as me-time and see it as a form of therapy. I have a part time job and it's hard enough, let alone being employed full time.