Tired of Failing Your Goals? ADHD Accountability Hacks That Help!

[@HowtoADHD]

Thanks to trainwell for sponsoring this video. If you need some accountability around working out (I definitely do), you can click my trainwell link go.trainwell.net/howtoADHD to take the quiz to find your perfect trainer and get 14 days of free training!

[@DaleESkywalker]

Hi, Jess!

[@HowtoADHD]

@@DaleESkywalker Hi! How were your holidays?

[@mrsaxophonist8778]

Can you do a video about ADHD and stuff animals?

[@DaleESkywalker]

@@HowtoADHD They were pretty good, aside from having this new flu-monia strain. How were your holidays? Are you excited for 2025? What are your goals this year? Are you watching Skeleton Crew, the new Star Wars show?

[@FenrirAldebrand]

I absolutely love the idea of this app, unfortunately as a college student it's just *way* too expensive - anywhere from 83-93 a month and if that's USD I'm in even more trouble - cause the Canadian dollar is super weak right now.

[@moonbasket]

My therapist recommended that I practice failing at something in a safe space, so that it isn't as discouraging when I fail elsewhere. It's really helped a lot.

[@movi3srock]

How did you practice that?

[@tiryaclearsong421]

​@@movi3srock New person, but I actually practice in video games. Sometimes I will stop playing a video game because I'm afraid I can't get past a part. So I remind myself it isn't real. It's a video game. I'm supposed to fail to solve the puzzle or beat the boss. That's why you can try again.

[@moonbasket]

@movi3srock I practice with knitting. When I started, I was really bad and I pushed myself to try new techniques and practice being bad at it and taking things apart when they didn't work.

[@Crymble]

Kinda sounds like those dating "coaches" that tell men to approach 100 women a day. Not saying your therapist is bad nor am I suggesting it doesnt work or anything similar.

[@aryeguy]

@@Crymble It’s similar technique, but unlike that ask 100 women on dates thing, it doesn’t disrespect someone else’s time and self esteem. “Oh try that one she’s a solid 5 out of 10” is not equivalent to “fail this boss fight in a single player video game”.

[@CottonCandySharks]

I heard accountability and immediately froze up. This video was so helpful at addressing harmful forms of accountability, but also positive forms I never knew about! I feel empowered! Thank you!

[@ManipulateMePlease]

Failing at goals = self doubt. Why have I never made this connection before?

[@wantin42]

I made this or a similar connection this year, too. I recognized, that I don't have the trust in future me to do anything, so when I was not feeling depressed in a moment I did not feel okay postponing anything to tomorrow and wanted to do everything now, which was not good for me either. I found that the more I do something I want to do in the present the more I could trust myself. I think this is not inherently ADHD related, but more an indirect consequence of it, but maybe this annecdote still can be interesting to add to your comment.

[@LazyStory]

Low IQ

[@annekeown2289]

It's not just that. There's also a sense of "If I try again, this new way, and that doesn't work either what do I do then?" So you put off trying the new way so as to put off the point at which it fails..

[@rendleshetheywilliamskat-r9068]

Self-doubt WITH EVIDENCE makes it so hard to stay positive and do stuff. I'm working on this right now

[@Weirdisnorm]

I would really appreciate a deeper video on learned helplessness. A lot of days I feel so behind and so exhausted from the pressure I just give up and nothing works anymore. The shame consumes me and I can't get out.

[@JosephDavies]

++

[@kmcq692]

I get it.

[@Moraenil]

Same. And then I get yelled at and lectured about it by the ones who started it in the first place. It's no wonder I'm totally burnt out on life.

[@mariezguitar5029]

@KaylaLoveHeart burnout is a real thing and so is being gaslight. I’m sure you are better than they say you are. I’m sure you deserve a restful break. Sadly, sometimes it’s hard to get the breaks and support we need. Sometimes, it’s about finding little moments of joy and not letting anyone else take those moments away.

[@deliriumzer0]

I'm so glad you mentioned non-consensual accountability. When I was younger I was primarily motivated by that, so as an adult I'd put myself in situations that mimicked that (under the belief that I was just "creating structure" because I struggle so much creating it for myself). All that did was, yeah, create resentment, both for the "friends" putting demands on me and for the tasks I was doing. Also really glad you mentioned shame x_x I'm still undoing the damage shame has done to my life.

[@jessicaleighdargaclark4536]

OMG... Overcoming Shame and parents who constantly instilled Guilt Complexes. Has this been covered yet?

[@i-love-comountains3850]

"Healing The Shame That Binds You" by John Bradshaw is a great book and he did a full live presentation discussing the book and its concepts as well. Worth a watch.😊

[@Moraenil]

@@jessicaleighdargaclark4536 What I'd really love to see is overcoming shame and the parents instilling guilt complexes...WHILE it's still going on and you're trapped by it and can't get out to get away to overcome it the way everyone says. This would help those of us adults who are still stuck dealing with it as well as kids (especially teenagers) who are stuck and dealing with it. Why is the advice always get away from it even when you can't? It's not that easy.

[@wantin42]

I would love some more in depth discussion on how to move to less shame based accomplishment. I think a lot of my anxieties are around the fear of shame and failure.

[@limalicious]

I met my big goal to try 12 new recipes this year. I made a check list with 12 boxes. Months where I was busy or felt sicker, I didn't make anything, but my good months, I might have made 2 recipes, and I made 15 new recipes this year!

[@francescathomas3502]

I actually managed to make my reading goal for 2024. Granted its was not that big - just 10 books - but I actually managed to read 10 books and leave 10 reviews. I am very happy about that. I have been in a reading slump for the last few years - possibly since the pandemic started. And while I have started hundreds of books, for some reason i lose interest and end up DNFing them. So my reading goal for 2025 is 13 books which is Half of the alphabet. I have several challenges that involve the alphabet and if I can read at least half the alphabet, i will be doing great!!

[@mkowalski5630]

I write reviews too -- trust me, every author is thrilled with ANY review (pref. favorable.) Reviews matter! So even if all 10 books were one author, you did something REALLY helpful!

[@jennyhaytch]

that's awesome : ) When you think about it, 10 books a year is almost a book a month. Which is quite a lot when you've got other things going on in life. ✨👍 In planning for 2025 I thought "I should design a greeting card a week", because I like 'the sound of that amount' and 1 card a month didn't feel like "enough" productivity. Even though realistically it takes me at least a few days just to edit the finished drawing, so to make 1 card a week I'd need to work on it every single day for the whole year. Hearing this video say that "we don't tend to set reasonable goals for ourselves" really reasonated! I never even considered the possibility of having "reasonable" goals until a couple of months ago. Always wanted to do THE MOST! 😄 I've heard in another channel (Struthless) that we should plan for what we can realistically achieve on our 'worst' days, not our best. And to double the amount of time we allocate / think it's going to take to do something. Plus leave room for variables and mistakes. I found it so hard to do that; to basically admit that I could only realistically do a half, a third, or even just a quarter of what I'd intended to do. Before realising that: No, if I DO it his way I've a much higher chance of actually hitting 100% of the plan. It's the planning that was unrealistic, not my accomplishments. Anyway! Hope that makes sense! And well done on your reading. : D

[@corylcreates]

My next goals... I think I need to keep them private. That public announcement accountability makes it hard for me to keep momentum on my goals. I also realized recently that being seen working on my goals often has me feeling as if I'm being scrutinized, even if that's not what the people seeing me are feeling or doing. That's something I have to work on in small doses, at my own pace. I think my 2025 goals are just going to be for me and shared with my therapist, so I can avoid the pressure of a public announcement when I inevitably change course, fail, or adjust.

[@Betacancri7]

I've been having similar thoughts. I've read a lot of self help books over the years trying to figure out how to simply live better (very late diagnosed). One thing I've come to realise is that those books mostly aren't designed for us, it doesn't mean that some tips aren't helpful but they didn't have the same life changing impact on me because the foundations they're based on aren't the same or even similar to mine or people like us. So the 'telling people what you're going to do will make you want to do it because you don't want to be embarrassed when they ask about it' doesn't work for us because a lot of us are verbal processors, the simple act of explaining a great idea and having someone understand it will give us the dopamine, and that I believe gives our brain the false sense of belief that we actually did the thing rather than just talked about it thoroughly. Might just have to get good at telling people after we've done the tiny things and not tell people what the big thing is 😅 really don't know

[@i-love-comountains3850]

Not telling anyone I was quitting drinking is how I actually wound up being able to go alcohol-free in a household that drinks daily. Well, that and the fact that (for me) life with drinking was so much worse than life without drinking.😅 Just passed 2mos last week.

[@Betacancri7]

@@i-love-comountains3850 congratulations on hitting the 2 month mark! I live in the UK and it's practically frowned upon to not drink. I drink very rarely now and often go for non alcoholic cocktails because people just assume they're alcoholic. Well done again and I'm sending good vibes for your continued success 🎊🎊

[@kmcq692]

@@Betacancri7I like how you are thinking. Exactly the kinds of thing I’m thinking about.

[@corylcreates]

@@Betacancri7 The verbal processing thing is so true! It's something I notice with planning a project too. I get a lot of joy out of planning the project and not as much joy when I actually do it or complete the steps; it's like the project plan is a separate activity to the project itself. I'm thinking I might keep the goal itself vague or broad and tell people when I make progress, like "I hit a new milestone for my writing goal!" or "I made progress this week on a health goal!" That way, I can still be seen and validated on my progress without other people getting involved, for lack of a better word, in the goal itself. Plus, because the goals are for me, other people aren't impacted if I do or don't do them. Those self-help books don't realize that some people have very understanding and compassionate social circles 😂 If I don't make progress on a goal and I tell my support network, they are so reassuring and kind, which is great because lack of progress or failure to complete a goal are normal and shouldn't be shameful.

[@johnhmaloney]

The last time I actually achieved a goal, it was because I happened upon an accountability hack that worked perfectly for me. I've played various string instruments for most of my life, but I've never been very confident in my singing ability. In late 2021, I decided to work on it by posting weekly cover videos on my KZbin channel. I didn't have many subs, but it was still public enough to keep pushing me forward. A few months later, I got back into songwriting after many years away from it and I've since released 40 originals (16 this year alone). My instinctive approach turned out better than I could have imagined.

[@HowtoADHD]

Aw that’s amazing!!! Thanks for sharing

[@MeansOfProduction209]

I was about to say "never set goals to begin with" but then i noticed the sticky with goals I set for myself back in 2022. I accomplished all but two of them, granted it took a couple years to get there.

[@AereliaOfTheCrows]

Congratulations on your accomplishments!

[@VideoCesar07]

TY Jessica!! When you have ADHD, low self -esteem, and ambitioms that are completely outweighed by our perfectionism, initial enthusiasm and likely limited knowledge it's the perfect recipe to fail at what we set out to do. My accountability system is to set a deadline and then I will fine myself $5 to go into my savings for every day I go over. It's amazing how my savings account has increased and it's helped somewhat curb my impulse spending since I hsve less immediately available income. I know many are gonna say it won't work well since I can just transfer money from savings into checking. Well, I use a budgeting app so 99% of the time I only see my checking but not savings balance. Since I have that usual "outta sight outta mind" ADHD issue then since I don't see my savings balance I only buy stuff based around only what my checking balance is.

[@aubreyleonae4108]

oh good I found you again, couldn't remember the name. I'm happy again.

[@HowtoADHD]

Hi! Welcome back ☺

[@sonalimukherjee2126]

I always feel that i am worthless when I fail at anything.. Be it household chores, academics, social conversations and somewhere I feel inferior from others and RSD crops up.. I wothdraw myself from others😔 Slowly and steadily I feel disconnected from my own family too.. Until I find myself again in a loop and overwhelmed.. Thanks to you Jessica..... For this thought process is needed at most otherwise another year will be robbed away by my ADHD 😅

[@scaredyfish]

The word accountability alone seems to trigger immense shame in me. I don’t want anyone to know how bad I am at getting anything done. I’ve been most productive in my life when I had a bully of a boss, so the anxiety of having our weekly check in overcame my procrastination, but at the cost of my mental health.

[@i-love-comountains3850]

Same here😅

[@V3LOXy]

I think I found my next channel to binge watch 😬 Everything you said made sense to me, it's not new information - I feel like it was already there. But having it explained so perfectly helped make it *click* - if that makes sense. So thank you!

[@Queenread82]

I joined an ADHD women's (only) body doubling group on Meet-up. It's zoom. You can (voluntarily) state your project intention, there are (visual) timers so we take breaks and talk progress. It's really supportive. I've found it good for starting projects I've been putting off, finishing things that I've lost motivation for or for filling out forms (UGH!!).

[@RachelKing-o8q]

Omg that sounds perfect!

[@zaraveen8566]

How do I join?? If that's possible.

[@ajwillustratorauthor]

Accountability hacks (Consequences or rewards should be short term) 1) Frequent external accountability (recurring check ins) 2) Accountability that keeps you moving (body double, get a coach) 3) Accountability that is pleasant (celebrate your wins) Have multiple forms. Write your goals and what your hacks will be. Adjust as needed.

[@BookloverFantasy92]

I’ve tried this new thing this year. I’ve written down a bunch of goals for the year, along with things within that larger category. Then each month I’ve written down smaller goals to help achieve them. Ie one goal I have is work on my physical health, by reaching 10,000 steps, and January is to work on getting to 5,000 steps. Then at the end of the month, I need to reflect on what worked and what didn’t, and use that to make up the smaller goals for feb. I’ve written down Januarys goals down on paper, and in a couple of locations to help me remember and stay on track. :)

[@zaraveen8566]

Wonderful idea! What about when I'm learning a dance routine, and don't know how long it will take. Since some grasp it quickly and others take longer to learn? How do I measure progress and an end date?

[@footruck4466]

Its amazing how good she made this channel. I think it‘s one of the best educational channels ever..very nice❤

[@eliserutherford3158]

Last year I made a super-achievable goal of book reading because I'm in a book club that meets once a month, and my only other goal for reading was just to read more in general, different types of books. I finished 52 books this year, most I've ever read since keeping track. I will do the same this year. I also, though, want to do more with watercoloring. I've been trying to come up with challenges or little exercises/goals that I can do that just have me playing with my paints. It's been suggested I take a class. On the one hand, yes, I should. It would be nice to do that, have some guidance. On the other hand, depends on the class and where because I know I'll get stuck on something and then not finish the class and then it's a waste. I've done that. I'm lucky I have a very supportive husband.

[@jele77]

I onder, if we could connect. I am an artist and art teacher and would love to help, when you are stuck, but I would also love to start doing more art myself, so having someone to meet online regularly would help me a lot. I really praise you for reading that much 🎉 i still struggle to do so since i started gaming. 😅

[@lizzygreenhood9631]

Thank you. I know you have a young baby. Would you please be so kind as to share some "You're doing great, just the way things are," and some "Cut yourself some slack, you're actually crushing it better than you know" hacks, please? ☺

[@HowtoADHD]

Excellent idea! Thank you!

[@eciesz]

I bought a habit tracker thinking I would be accountable to myself. It lasted two days… I always try and figure out a very small goal something I know I can stick to. My New Year’s resolution this year is when people say sorry I will reply with “I accept your apology” or “thank you for apologizing”.

[@fireomen87]

Out of curiosity, why/how did you come up with that goal?

[@RaverHates]

That's a good goal. Best of luck with it

[@AndersWatches]

@@fireomen87my guess would be that their usual response is “it’s okay”. But if it was okay they wouldn’t have had to be apologised to, so it minimises what could have been something very upsetting. I am also guilty of saying it’s okay when it really isn’t, so thats how I understood it.

[@mariezguitar5029]

@eciesz I’ve had really good luck with the Finch App. I tried Habitica and Bullet Journal, used both for about a year + and then wasn’t seeing enough progress. I’ve also had to recognize when I needed help and reach out to get help. Somehow this has been easier because I’m using Finch. There’s an underlying neuro-scientific approach built in and it is more accepting of bad days. The quotes are cerebral and uplifting, the animation is cute.

[@netexcavator1927]

This came at a perfect time for me! I'm starting my last semester of college in a few weeks and have many projects I need to work on, especially due to being in engineering. I always felt I could do more with my projects but end up running into roadblocks or procrastinating. I've felt more comfortable asking friends for their input with my projects recently so that's been a big help. Even when they don't know much about the engineering side of things, it's good to have a second pair of eyes on it to see if it is good from an outsider's point of view. Keep up the good work Jessica!

[@serenewolf6267]

This came at the perfect time. Ive been having a lot of self doubt from failing so much and even important personal goals, its made me want to quit before i start. Especially as i get older and look back at the mountain of failed dreams and goals. I will be watching this repeatedly to help. Also, love the book, its been life changing. Thank you so much.

[@maymaymusic2407]

These tips resonate sooo much!! I’ve mostly experienced shame based or intrusive/non-consentive accountability to the point where I felt like I couldn’t talk about my life in details to those closest to me (especially parents), because they would take over and force me to do things… I’m sure they care about me, but that strategy has never worked! And it never will. Love the video. Really well explained- I’m liking this so it goes in the «list of videos I found useful» aka my liked videos, aka my way of not forgetting what I will be glad to revisit later💖😄

[@FenrirAldebrand]

GOOD GODS I felt the non-consensual accountability HARD last semester. I had at least 2 required courses I REALLY didn't want to do. I feel like I abused my accommodations last semester, even though my professors were fine with when my assignments got in. But, it got me through it, in spite of it all. However, it does mean I'm totally putting off Statistics till the summer because it's supposed to not be cool, and be more like one of the courses I hated.

[@aro4cinglife]

YES I've found ways to get accountability language learnign in my case, I have a log that I update daily of teh amount of videos I enjoy that I watch in x language, it helps to break it down into watch 1-3 videos in that language every day of the week instead of " *GET FLUENT YOU MERE MORTAL* " I discovered it in February and I've tracked over 1000 videos across 4 languages so far and my goal for 2025 is to do more challenges like this! with also smaller goals per month or couple of months (switchign it up every couple of months by chanign teh language or taking a break) and recently it's helped to tell people and update them, but also to use body doubling voice channels when I can! I plan to use teh languages to make youtube videos eventually which also helps!

[@kayboy6055]

i always give myself as much grace and leeway as i see fit. i try to do the same now as a teacher to my kids as well. Things are tough and not everyone processes things at the same PACE.

[@Tearlach87]

The amount of guilt and shame I carry over things I've never done is immense; combined with the "trying to do it right" thing, man it's been devastating. Accountability that is non-judgmental is going to be a hard habit to develop but I'm definitely going to work on it.

[@B15TF2B15TF]

I am a 16-year-old teenager, at the age of 13 I thought your fate is in your hands. My goal was to fully learn programming (because I liked it) and earn money. How many times have I started and abandoned. I have problems with distraction, problems with motivation, that I have not learned anything except basic programming knowledge. My brain has already stopped believing that I will succeed. Now I'm going with the flow, and I'm preparing for exams (and even then with difficulties).

[@prof.crastinator]

Yeah you can’t do it. Just stop. It’s obviously not something you can ever achieve. This is what works for me- is when people tell me I can’t do something. It becomes gamified and I must prove them wrong.

[@xxxguarnicion2.051]

Please get tested for adhd and seek treatment or I'm afraid this will never stop for you, I'm getting tested in january 2nd

[@kathahahn20]

You have learnt the basics of programming within three years? That is awesome!

[@KOKO-uu7yd]

​@@kathahahn20IKR?!? I read that and was like "UHOH... PERFECTIONISM!😮" 😅 Kid, ya got more to be proud of than you realize!😊

[@corylcreates]

I was journalling two days ago and wrote on and on about "what even IS accountability?" so I'm looking forward to this video

[@kellywusler4954]

I know I have needed accountability for my goal to get rid of things (especially papers) and get organized. This has helped.

[@trollsmyth]

Thank you for this. I'm going to go through my my goals for '25 and see how I can integrate others into being my "accountability buddies."

[@nananakeson]

I always had big trouble with accountability, not only because of the ADHD but I was raised in a trauma filled household one of the things I learned as a child was that if my family jnew anything I was doing they'd be judging me, so I got used to do things in secret and only show to people when the things was "perfect". Suffice to say that this mentality did not made me reach far beyond survival ¯\_(ツ)_/ ¯😂😂

[@mtcynthus]

I like this style of video, where you have a very simple background and the camera moves closer or farther on you while you talk. I also liked one part of you doing a “skit” illustrating the point you’re making.

[@evaleewinkler1707]

After listening to this video today I was motivated to accomplish 2 goals, one of which had been haunting me for months, literally. Such a weight was taken from my shoulders, and I felt so successful that I feel as if I can move on to other longstanding goals. I also cheered for myself. That doesn't happen very often. Hurray for me! I did something I'd been putting off for so long! I can do other things! There's hope!

[@TimMorgan5150]

I make bite sized goals every day. It really keeps me motivated and on track to check off smaller tasks, even part of big projects.

[@Muslimah462]

I love your videos! Keep going 🙌

[@HowtoADHD]

Aw thank you!! Needed that. Trying something new :)

[@irinaphoenix2169]

I'd love more content about running a business and having ADHD.

[@jointrainwell]

We are so happy you are loving your plan with Darian! You are crushing it 🤩 Thanks for sharing trainwell! 💗

[@jeicak_]

This video had only been uploaded for 3 mins when I found it, haha, and boy did I need to hear your words about this subject right now! Also, your book was delivered to my door an hour ago, so right now I'm prepping for an evening by myself on the couch, reading and learning more about myself and my ADHD that I didn't know that I had until March this year (I turned 37 in June). Thanks for giving me hope, Jessica. ❤ (Also, your name is amazing - but I'm biased since it also happens to be my name, too 😂 )

[@StuartI89]

Hold on let me add this to Watch Later. I need to focus on my novel, my video game, my graphic novel and my piano mastery right now. I'll watch this when I'm done. See you in five minutes.

[@EamonWill]

I found your book at my local library. I read the first paragraph and realized that I knew who you were and had seen your KZbin channel! [I love YT, lol.] I can't wait to read it and get back to watching your videos as well. ❤

[@Lightningspiner]

Exactly the kind of video I was hoping for ❤

[@rustyjames4575]

More of this style of video! It's informative and easy for me to pay attention to.

[@monicaarmanino7013]

My goal is to get better with time. Follow through my goals, which is why I am watching this video. And to stop listening to that bully in my head and push myself (gently) a bit more.

[@christopherfowler5624]

I've recently experienced self-doubt and burnout specifically around my final master's degree project. I made it through the semester narrowly avoiding an internal meltdown. I think in my case I took on too much toward the end of the semester after mashing the gas on the project at the beginning of the semester... meaning I had my idea for how I wanted the semester to flow but no real plan to sustain work on the project. I didn't have proper accountability devices 😉 in place. Having taken the holidays off from working on my project I'm almost ready to start working on it again. This time I'm starting with planning milestones to achieve and accountability strategies to stay on course. Most importantly I'm going to build in some grace for the inevitable curve ball. Thank you for the perspective on this topic!

[@szymonsadlo]

Thank you!!! I needed exactly that, exactly today!

[@eternalfizzer]

Just what I needed! Thanks so much for all your positive influence on my life 😀

[@shanabiiii]

ty for the video!!! i really needed this now, with your videos i learn to be more compassionte with myself & discover new ways to approach these problems ❤ loved also the soup jessica narrative hahah

[@south_paw]

I just found you tonight after seeing something about adhd shutdown. So I search how to deal with that finding a video from you 4 years ago. I told my wife years ago that my mind is like my room, cluttered and filled with things. I like how you explained it better, motivational planks. There are things i want to do but just keep putting them off. As I was thinking about what I was going to say here I teared up, I really want to get things done but can’t seem to be able to.

[@JessicaWest-v1p]

I made resolutions but i think they will not die. I want to be more kind when i am talking and with my actions. I also want to keep my emotions under control. I have been doing so well on keeping myself calm while still feeling my emotions I want to keep that momentum going. Goals do tend to crash for me but your right they are sometimes to big. I am so thankful for your channel even though you dont talk about Anxiety i learn so much about myself. Like the talking stuff. I talk fast loud and alot. I am thankful thanks for all the work you do.

[@Killcupidsaaki17]

I make plans all day every day but my follow thru is TRASH so I don't tend to have very much self love and it compounds if these failures affect others I care about like Coworkers or relationships. This is my big focus going into 2025

[@walkingexercise5375]

Thanks for the ideas! My goals include fitness and self-care. I need to walk more, so maybe creating weekly mile goals or walking(workout) bingo. I find watching videos about self-care like Diane in Denmark video 3 ways I organize our Danish home - hygge baskets, where she talks about having a self-care basket, reading basket, and snack basket, Cozy K videos about cozy hobbies, and Mariane Cresp video how to use a self-care/break list, where she talks about 3 types of breaks is also helpful for me.

[@indierodo]

I love this videos without music!!! So much more easy to follow!

[@aleciaforrester161]

I'm not goal setting, because of the self doubt factor. Instead I'm shifting to progress, shifting, and trying a thing, setting... 🎉

[@jackbaxter2223]

I actually subscribed six months ago, but the topic got me to actually get around to opening the video and watching for the first time since then. EDIT: Also, this advice was very helpful. Thank you.

[@alibizhangi]

thank you for you are here !!

[@0hermitworm]

I love how you called out the weekly soup goal as being too much. It's so easy to get overly ambitious!

[@NiemaLightseed]

I have found that setting very specific goals can trigger a rebellion-overwhelm-shame-helplessness spriral, especially if I set rigid deadlines. I’ve found it a lot more effective to focus on wider areas of growth with flexible options that make it easier to get started, knowing that focus often follows action for me. For example, I want to be more physically active but struggle to stick with strict fitness routines, so my achievable goal is to do some kind of intentional movement everyday, even for just a few minutes. Small enough to be consistently doable, with enough choice to avert my rebelliousness/PDA, and once I start it often turns into a longer session because “just start moving” was the goal so I get the dopamine boost right away, and that good feeling inspires me to keep going. This open-ended, “any amount counts” approach helps in other areas, especially my project-based work, and let’s me make incremental progress.

[@evelina23801]

Wow!! This video really helped me set my goals for this new year. Thank you so much because the coming 2 years are very crucial for my future. I watch your videos quite frequently but thanks especially for this one ❤

[@evaleewinkler1707]

Jessica, you are a wonder and an inspiration! You're my hero.

[@melissalai8173]

This video is SO helpful 🥹🥹 I’ve been working on being more mindful of keeping things clean because my default is DEFINITELY cluttered haha. sometimes things get heated between me and my brother, who likes things much more organized, and this video is helping me validate my brain and come up with options that will work better and not feel terrible :’)

[@99Duds]

It's always so strange, I have a problem you just put a video out. I am still working hard to accept complemts, I used to always try to get out of praise. Just have to learn to deal with the embarrassment better. Thank you.

[@Ariesof07]

Accountabili-buddy!! Love it!!❤

[@audreyb1269]

The lack of daily accountability at my job since the start of 2020 (and working fully remote) had a huge impact on me. I have never struggled so much in getting things done at work than in these past years, and I couldn't figure out why I felt so lost. Only this year, I connected the dots and realised that I didn't spend my day with my colleagues and managers anymore, so I didn't need to update them twice a day about what I was doing. I decided to get assessed for adhd, which seemed silly at first. But turns out that yep, I had just been masking all my life, and the pandemic made me lose all my reasons to do so, so the adhd ran wild. I'm planning to start building accountability back up into my life now that I understand what's happening.

[@catvalentine4317]

Your hair looks so stunning and healthy! I'm currently growing out mine and can't wait to get to your length 😍

[@Bal0ney_Macaroninew]

Can you do a video if you havent already about bedroom and keeping them clean/ how to make them more adhd friendly?

[@rjdcarroll]

I'm an Adhd cook. If it helps, define what recipe you're making ahead of your shop and only buy the ingredients for that soup. Keep these items Seperate from others in the fridge so it's a bit like buying a meal kit. Measure/portion the ingredients out ahead of time and store them away. You can even leave the kit you'll need with the ingredients in the fridge. When cooking for people I find this helps and it's almost like I've time travelled to help myself when it comes to doing a task when my mental load is running low. Good luck with the soup

[@0e0]

One of your best videos.

[@_latoyaashley_]

One of my goals is cutting dairy and poultry (last year I cut red meat) and I basically split it into quarterly then monthly goals. The first quarter is just playing with new mushroom and tofu recipes, 2nd quarter is experimenting with cheese alternative, then 3rd is where I start implementing everything. Idk how to add accountability but I'll brainstorm this week! Thanks for this video!

[@CottonCandySharks]

Good idea!!

[@swvsnick]

Find a non-judgemental friend to regularly check in on your quarterly goals and if you cave and eat poultry, establish with them to politely acknowledge the deviation from the goal qnd maybe help you problem-solve on other alternatives to meat. Everyone is a bit different but you could also make a post about the tofu and mushroom alternatives and how they are to work with so people know you're experimenting.

[@_latoyaashley_]

@@swvsnick thank you this is a great idea parce que I also want to start posting more on IG (which i say every year but only post maybe 2-3 times lol) Merci!!

[@arolahn]

I prefer the body-double or “buddy hangout” option because it stimulates my brain having people to talk to and keep me company. It keeps my brain happy enough to stay focused for hours and complete even painfully mundane tasks without trouble. I hate telling anyone my specific goals, deadlines or even what the project is, because I’ll only feel shame if I can’t meet my own deadlines when someone else is watching. The fear is just too crippling for me. I also was raised by an extremely controlling and abusive person, so I value having the freedom to make (and break) my own deadlines and expectations in complete privacy however I wish. I’ve spent enough decades in the pressure cooker and need to work at my own pace and under my own rules now.

[@seabrookel5037]

I have failed to achieve my goals so often now that when I share a new goal or plan with members of my family I barely get any acknowledgment or support about it anymore. They already know it’s not actually gonna happen. :/ This was a great video for giving me some ideas to finally help me make progress to achieving the things I want. Thanks!

[@Raindude]

Loved this video! I always look forward to when you post!

[@constanza1648]

I think a little ammount of accountability is needed to get things done, but when I faced with a little too much presure to do something I tend to freeze! For example when I go shopping and the seller tells me "it is great, you should buy it", then I definitely lose interest and I never buy it, even if I was almost conviced before and It's something I really need.

[@Moraenil]

I think that's just rebelling. It's like, I know I need this item, don't tell me I need this item, I'll show you! And walk out without it just to prove a point. I'm guilty of that. Living a life of being totally controlled and micromanaged made me that way.

[@theolla840]

I loved the props! This is a great topic, thank you for covering it.

[@ajwillustratorauthor]

So I’m trying to write a children’s book. And every time I get over one hurdle I run directly into the next one smack dab in the knees. I’ve gotten really far, farther than ever. I got a writing coach and posted about it a lot on social media. People (not a huge audience) but people got excited about. And I really thought I’d finish by September. But now it’s looking like February. I was super disappointed in myself but people online and my therapist have been super encouraging. I’m proud of the progress I made. I kinda wish I had a writing buddy though ❤

[@AshleyReed]

Also Instant Pot for soups! Helps a lot! Plus a food chopper to get veggies chopped quickly!!

[@MouthyMerc42]

I never bother with new years resolutions, I feel like they're just a promise being set up to be broken. That said, I did sign up with a gym recently to better my over all health and career. Knowing that quitting the gym is going to be a bigger pain than going plus, needing to meet work requirements is keeping me on track.

[@matiasvillarreal6207]

I have a goal of making a KZbin channel this 2025. My wife has been telling me that my tinkering with low budget solutions for gaming and tech in general would be great content, but it's really hard to start because I'm scared of failing or just losing interest in a couple months 😢

[@wayneswonderarium]

Just start!

[@baka_baca]

Chances are, if you can find the very first videos of any successful KZbin channel, those videos are meh at best. The most important thing is probably to get started and just accept that you'll get better as you go and you don't have to be great right away.

[@michaelwinter742]

Subscribed. Make videos!

[@Moraenil]

@@baka_baca That's what I've done. Watch the first videos of the big youtubers I enjoy and study their progress and listen to their tips if they give any.

[@filipeorr7821]

Happy new year Jessica!

[@ashfujiyama]

the editing is phenomenal! great vid :)

[@mistymoonbeam6274]

But how to find an accountability buddy lol... most my friends are just as ADHD as me or have lots on their plates.

[@Weirdisnorm]

Personally I am way more aware and involved in someone else's goals and to-dos than I am of my own. Maybe you can keep track of each other that way!

[@ZombieEeyore0710]

I can remember what everyone else needs to do way better than I can for myself. My sister and I decided to be accountability buddies last year and just focus on positively following up on each other's progress throughout the week. It's worked out pretty well the past year and we're actually accomplishing more of our goals then if we tried to solo it

[@sierrarobinson4447]

In college, my other ADHD buddy and I would reciprocate accountability!

[@mistymoonbeam6274]

@ yeah we kinda do as well, I guess maybe it’s a matter of checking in on that a bit.. likely that “object permanence” style issues got in the way lol

[@mistymoonbeam6274]

@@Weirdisnorm you know you’re totally right tho lol I need to go kick some sense into my gang lol

[@ilse4846]

Thanks for the video, I struggle a lot with it I really need to find something that worked for me, because sometimes the only accountability that I have is the no consensual type, people asking me or reminding me stuff, and even when they do it with good intentions I end up feeling frustrated or like I failure. So is good to know there are other options 😊

[@Hidetannerslife]

Just discovered your channel and have been binge watching it. It's so helpful. I'm studying the gut brain link between Ibd/crohns disease and ADHD. I have both.

[@JonHolland-z6z]

Happy new year fellow brains!

[@abc123evoturbobonker]

40 seconds in and I had to pause, this is a tough topic, thank you for doing these

[@fateslegacy]

Thanks a lot for the upload I think understand this topic a bit better now thankfully. Wish you the best of luck with your training and mom responsibilities, You got this! 👍💯 P.S I'm finding some of your vids helpful too as a Autistic person myself so thanks for the info

[@aarongagnon5174]

So… picked up your book yesterday… finished it today.

[@MountainsoftheHeart]

It was always hard to take math classes, because it was a requirement, I didn’t choose it. It wasn’t hard to understand it was boring and I just hated doing it.

[@JayDubbluu]

V helpful video. And I love your Le Creuset!

[@juliescott317]

I’ve been trying to finish my masters for so long, I had to retake classes bc it had been over 6 years and they didn’t count anymore, I have 3 classes to go and I’m praying and mentally prepping/stressing I can finish. It’s embarrassing and more stressful bc my masters is IN the department I have been working at for 15 years 🤦‍♀️

[@princesszelda1997]

Oh goodness, I came up with narrating my work process like I'm making a video on my own a few weeks ago, glad it's something other people do XD

[@joe-tracy]

The ADHD in me needs Chapters in these videos. :) Thanks for your content.

[@HowtoADHD]

Thanks for the reminder!

[@benjaminkoval3807]

If you use the bag style making soup mix like bear creek then you can add other parts to it like veggies, and use broth instead of water it will help make soup a great deal. mine this year is using the air fryer i bought, so far i'm having issuses with it and its discouraging.

[@Milo-frog-boi]

I always start to feel like crying at least a bit, whenever I watch something discussing adhd struggles. I guess I have some pent up emotions about my adhd struggles that leak out a bit whenever videos about adhd struggles make me stop and actually think about how shitty adhd is every day. Usually I'm just like "whatever, 'tis life, ya know? Just the usual brick wall in my brain🤷‍♂️ No use in complaining. I choose good vibes and a pinch of escapism" But then I watch this and my eyes get glossy, even tho the vibe of this video is rather upbeat. I don't like thinking about how much shame is actually stuffed into my barely functioning brain. I try being kind to myself, and I've gotten better, but I'm still just holding my head above water. I may need therapy. Guess who's procrastinating on getting that too :D🎉

[@MythopoeicNavid]

While working on deadlines which I feel like I'm missing even tho my boss says otherwise, I have stopped self care, my regular routines, and even keeping up my own diet. I am not making progress. Feeling like an imposter . And yet my screenwriting career for the first time in forever actually got episodes out... I dont know how my ADHD is managing. It's painful. Thanks for this

[@KiraFriede]

Looking forward to all the soup-content!