Why SMART Goals Aren't Always Smart (And What I Do Instead)

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How to ADHD

How to ADHD

4 ай бұрын

Hello Brains! My book is officially OUT ON SHELVES today! To celebrate, I wanted to talk about how you can achieve your own goals -- by making them less realistic ;)
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Music credits for Why SMART Goals Aren't Always Smart (And What I Do Instead):
"Life of Riley", "The Show Must Be Go”
Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0
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Пікірлер: 817
@HowtoADHD
@HowtoADHD 4 ай бұрын
UPDATE -- the book is now a USA TODAY and NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER! In its first WEEK!!!!! Thank you to everyone who ordered a copy, I appreciate you so so much for helping make this ridiculously ambitious dream come true!!!
@rymaru2138
@rymaru2138 3 ай бұрын
I've never accomplished anything long term before either. And I'm almost 31. I burst into tears over this for you. You did it!! You really did it. 😭😭❤️❤ You CAN DO IT. And nobody can ever take that away!! AAAAAAAH!!
@yogidevendrabiriyani1777
@yogidevendrabiriyani1777 2 ай бұрын
Im so getting it
@M_Baker9ersFan
@M_Baker9ersFan Ай бұрын
Congratulations, you deserve it!
@Maye44
@Maye44 4 ай бұрын
As someone with generalized anxiety disorder and depression it was super validating to hear someone else say that SMART goals don’t help me and could actually make it worse. Thank you!
@MiracleAngel20
@MiracleAngel20 4 ай бұрын
Me too. I was actually crying this morning.
@BiologyJAP
@BiologyJAP 4 ай бұрын
Yes, hard relate! I was just today talking with my therapist about how traditional goals don't usually work out for me (especially in regards to motivation) and trying to tease out some other way to frame things. I'm looking forward to reading this book even more now.
@angelas.goodman9891
@angelas.goodman9891 4 ай бұрын
Me too!
@yogidevendrabiriyani1777
@yogidevendrabiriyani1777 4 ай бұрын
​@@MiracleAngel20❤❤❤ hugs❤❤❤
@puppypoet
@puppypoet 4 ай бұрын
I'm crying right now. I'm 42 years old. I've dreamed of having my stories written as books since I was 10 and I gave up that dream because I didn't think I could do it. Your book is on my desk at home (delivered today) and I am aching to leave work and go read it. WHEN I publish my first book, I will ABSOLUTELY mention you because you have restored my faith that I can do this.
@daina3628
@daina3628 4 ай бұрын
I'm 44. I've been writing since I was twenty (on and off, because ADHD) and I've never managed to finish anything. This actually got me a bit bummed out because she went from 0 to a book in two years, sand I have twenty years of material and have done zero in the last two years.
@puppypoet
@puppypoet 4 ай бұрын
@@daina3628 , let's do it. Let's both show the world that us 40 something chicks got the words in us. I bet your books are wonderful and I would be honored to read them!!
@HowtoADHD
@HowtoADHD 4 ай бұрын
Do it, you got this!! If it helps, I tried (and failed) to write a novel a decade ago...the process I went through over the past 2 years showed me I needed two things I didn't have then: 1. support. The idea that I could write in a vacuum, by myself, was a romantic one that I needed to let go of. For a project this long and complicated I needed someone to bounce ideas off of, people to read chapters to as I went. 2. hard deadlines. I needed to know my time was limited so I could kickstart my brain into gear! I did this when I started my channel, too -- I could get as perfectionistic as I wanted to, but I had to post every week, so I could only make them as good as I could in a week. hope this helps!!
@KTempestBradford
@KTempestBradford 4 ай бұрын
Yay! That's so good to read. Also, you will write that book! My first one was published when I was 42.
@puppypoet
@puppypoet 4 ай бұрын
@@HowtoADHD , it did. Thank you! I screenshotted your reply and I'm hanging it over my desk. I just don't know who I can depend on for support. I'm still learning to retrust people.
@rorolilred
@rorolilred 4 ай бұрын
This is making me think. When I was 16, I decided I wanted to become a professional ballerina. I had barely any dance background but I was determined, despite this being an incredibly unrealistic goal. I've always had trouble sticking to daily routines but my goal inspired me to stretch every day for years. I had terrible social anxiety but my dream gave me the strength to go to classes, summer schools, and auditions by myself. I'm now 33, and although I never became a professional dancer, dance is still a huge and wonderful part of my life. Getting into ballet led to me trying and falling in love with so many other types of dancing, learning so much about myself, having amazing experiences and meeting wonderful people. Looking back, 16 year old me never had the slightest chance of becoming a professional ballerina, but I'm so, so glad I tried and ended up cementing dance as a core part of my life and identity.
@SuperUberDae
@SuperUberDae 4 ай бұрын
I love this because it shows a different side to "success". Many would say that if you don't meet the end goal that you have failed, but you failed UPWARD! You may not have met the original goal, but as you said, the journey was worth it. I love this mindset shift, and thank you for telling your story!
@skylarstarr3973
@skylarstarr3973 4 ай бұрын
You must have been sitting in on my last two appointments with different providers 😂
@skylarstarr3973
@skylarstarr3973 4 ай бұрын
In all seriousness, thank you for the work and advocacy you do. ♥️
@iiiiiiiv
@iiiiiiiv 4 ай бұрын
My experience as a AuDHD + CPTSD person is the exact opposite. Throughout my whole life I always had these big, unrealistic dreams. But they never felt motivating in the slightest (and I always felt lots of shame for not following through). It all clicked just recently - turns out they were not really dreams, just fantasies that I used to escape from unpleasant reality and/or to help me regulate my emotions. So, personally, in order to feel motivated I need to dream small and realistic. Otherwise it's not dreaming and setting goals, it's just escaping into a fantasy world.
@deliriumzer0
@deliriumzer0 4 ай бұрын
This is my experience too... the struggle for me, truly, is not having a parent like the person in the story had. Without that kind of support, I never got a sense of what was realistic, or just how broad a category "realistic" is. EVERYTHING I wanted was dismissed as an unrealistic fantasy, and I didn't learn until WELL into adulthood that actually yeah I could have done the things I dreamed about. But because I didn't believe it was possible, those fantasies stayed fantasies. I never got any messaging from the adults in my life that it was worth pursuing them.
@TiliaCordata
@TiliaCordata 4 ай бұрын
I feel you on this! I'm not autistic, but I have ADHD and CPTSD and I'm learning to make small realistic goals for myself and also to be proud of myself when I achieve them. I feel like big goals in my life fall under one of two categories: 1) escapist fantasies I have no desire to actually work towards or belief I ever could achieve, 2) goals set for me by parents, teachers etc. who saw my "potential" and decided to overstretch me. The latter especially gave me a lot of anxiety and depression.
@TiliaCordata
@TiliaCordata 4 ай бұрын
I can't help but imagine that if anyone used the "accountant for George Lucas" thing on me, it wouldn't work. For one, I'm pretty sure I'd be able to tell they don't actually mean it. And then, I would either feel disappointed in myself for not reaching my goal and would default to self-loathing again, or, in case of escapist fantasies, I would get mad if people used it to influence my behaviour. Like, as a child I wanted to be an actress. If anyone had told me that in order to do that, I need to be more confident, talk to more children, take better care of my appearance, do more sports etc., I would probably have cried because they would have "ruined" the dream.
@therealzahyra
@therealzahyra 4 ай бұрын
I am AuDHD + CPTSD + OCD. I would say that the answer to what you just said is the cause of your CPTSD. You didn't believe in yourself and your goals because people around you didn't believe in you and your goals. It's not because it doesn't work, it's because the people around you let you down. I hope you're in a better place now and are going through psychotherapy to get back in a state of mind where you'll believe in yourself enough to dream big again. I'm halfway there but not there yet, but someday I will be again.
@user-tx4we4hs8u
@user-tx4we4hs8u 4 ай бұрын
This is really interesting! Personally, I feel like I need a combination of both; realistic and very simple goals combined with task batching to build habits, but fiery and ambitious ones to sustain the passion overall. I feel like my flavour of AuDHD demands balance, which sucks as that's probably my biggest weakness
@sarah2301
@sarah2301 4 ай бұрын
One of my managers at work is a fan of the "Shoot for the moon, if you fail then you'll still land among the stars" types of goals. I think one of the other important things is building in the accountability - there are monthly check-ins to see how these lofty goals are going, and to talk through the next steps and any problems.
@taoist32
@taoist32 4 ай бұрын
Problem is the stars are further than the moon. 🤣
@pendlera2959
@pendlera2959 4 ай бұрын
@@taoist32 And you're already among the stars here on Earth. We're orbiting one as we speak.
@happytofu5
@happytofu5 4 ай бұрын
I noticed that if I don't enjoy the ride, reaching the goal feels hollow. I still reach for the stars, but I am making my space journey as comfy and fun as possible.
@animaniacs538
@animaniacs538 4 ай бұрын
@@taoist32u definitely got the tism
@TheSwedishCarGuy
@TheSwedishCarGuy 4 ай бұрын
My old boss was like that also, and the new one I got only WANT stats and don't even care how we get it :S Feels so stressful.
@TheWhisperTexan
@TheWhisperTexan 4 ай бұрын
When I was a kid I had ADHD at the time it was called ADD or Minimal Brain Damage (MBD) can you believe that lol. My teachers told me that I might not graduate highschool. I wanted to go to law school. Guess what I graduated from Law School and passed the bar. My dream was lofty but It motivated the heck out of me. Everyone please have lofty dreams.
@MiyaniAburame
@MiyaniAburame 4 ай бұрын
I love this so much. Congrats on passing the bar, that's so awesome!
@ADHDAsianGirl
@ADHDAsianGirl 4 ай бұрын
Loveee the idea that we need an overly ambitious goal that excites us to overweight the struggles ADHD people need to go through, and having people help us to achieve these wild goals in realistic ways. I am off to the kindle store to order the book rn! Congratulations Jessica for writing the book you set out to write!!
@corylcreates
@corylcreates 4 ай бұрын
I think this is what a lot of neurotypicals would interpret as "Remember your why." For many people, their "why" (or reason or desire) is focused on a value, like "I have a goal to build an exercise habit because I value health and staying well to spend time with my family." But in this case, the "why" is an ambitious challenge or a special interest. I got goosebumps listening to this because I've been self-sabotaging and dismissing a lot of my goals. But screw it, I'm going to say it now: My goal is to write a bestselling fantasy series and have a backlist of over 20 books. It's pretty ambitious. I think I want to go the independent publisher route. But writing 20 books? That's a lot. It's going to be hard, because writing even 1 book is hard! But ohhhhh my goodness, do I really want that. And I think wanting it is enough of a motivation. I don't need to start planning out things with the SMART tool (which has never been successful for me... I have lived my whole life thinking I'm neurotypical, but lately I've been questioning that). I need to just remember my challenge. The mountain I'm climbing. The satisfaction of getting to the top and going, "I did a really, really hard thing... And I am so proud of myself."
@justanothercomment
@justanothercomment 26 күн бұрын
I believe in you man!! Since we're working up the courage to say it out loud, my goal is to make a living out of comics and art. We can do this!! And even if things don't work out as planned, I'm sure the journey itself will be worth it 😁
@kikitauer
@kikitauer 4 ай бұрын
So I usually don't support creators. I am deep in debt and I have little money to spare. When I was listening to Jessica, I was happy that the patrons support her and how beautiful it is that they helped to create funds for this book. And then I realized that I actually do support her on Patreon since forever. It is just a dollar a month, a grandfathered tier that's not being able to be chosen anymore. I will not buy the book, it costs too much for me and I don't read anyway. But I am very happy I was able to help at least a little bit 🧠💙
@Serena-or7sl
@Serena-or7sl 4 ай бұрын
If you create the audible free trial you can listen to it for free :) be sure to unsubscribe though ;)
@AwwesomeVal
@AwwesomeVal 4 ай бұрын
I'm broke too. I'm gonna ask my library if they have the book. The more people who ask the libraries about a certain book, the sooner they are to purchase one to loan out. I love reading but I'm too broke to buy books. And the library does actually buy new books if enough people ask. Maybe check your library. They might not have it right away but if it's popular enough they might buy it ^_^
@dougr550
@dougr550 4 ай бұрын
Love this video. This quote from Alice's Adventures in Wonderland perfectly summarizes how I feel about goal setting. "Alice laughed: "There's no use trying," she said; "one can't believe impossible things." "I daresay you haven't had much practice," said the Queen. "When I was younger, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."
@thefinalfrontear
@thefinalfrontear 3 ай бұрын
I love this quote! For as mixed as the opinion on the live action Alice movies is, I’ll always be glad that a version of this quote made it in.
@StorytellingHeadshots
@StorytellingHeadshots 3 ай бұрын
Wonderful comment! 🏆 💯
@dougr550
@dougr550 3 ай бұрын
@@thefinalfrontear I love the Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland. It's my favourite Johnny Depp role.
@livingmorganism
@livingmorganism 4 ай бұрын
Thank you, I always HATED SMART goals and I could never totally understand why. I don't want to plan out my whole damn life and have a new goal every week. The entire reason I did so well in college was because I wanted to go to vet school. I graduated in 2020 and never did go to vet school... but I graduated with a 3.6 in biology, 3.8 if you only count the science courses. That goal fueled me.
@chrisquinlan6527
@chrisquinlan6527 4 ай бұрын
The purpose of smart goals, really, is for therapists to put them in their treatment plans so they can measure the success of the client. That's not the only way we measure success, but it's a way to put it on paper. I was kind of not digging this video until you brought up "Going about it in an ADHD-friendly way." My big goal, which I recently accomplished, was graduating with a master's degree in counseling (A fellow counselor and I at my internship absolutely love yours and Dani Donovan's work). For me that lofty goal wouldn't have happened without setting smaller, "SMART" goals in place. Goals that had to do with prioritizing, self care, and, like you said, working with my ADHD brain and not against it. For me SMART goals aren't about limiting what I can do, but it helps me break down lofty goals that are intimidating to smaller steps so that it's less scary. I guess what got me through my lofty goal was not watering it down into something easier, but breaking it down so that accomplishing it was easier.
@DMSYeti
@DMSYeti 4 ай бұрын
But what if you don’t have a fiery, ambitious goal? What if you don’t really have a goal at all? This is what I struggle with, and it means my motivation is always low. I’d love to hear a perspective on finding these goals when hanging on to a single project is a monumental challenge all by itself!
@drodlaren
@drodlaren 4 ай бұрын
You can’t always force it, sometimes it just happens while we’re busy doing other things. You naturally gravitate towards it! I’m in the same boat, but I think a fiery ambitious goal puts too much pressure on me, so i’m trying to be content with just seeing what happens and doing what I can/want! Idk if this helps!
@bosstowndynamics5488
@bosstowndynamics5488 4 ай бұрын
I'm between big goals at the moment but as someone who's always struggled with formal goal setting I've always found the ones I've had come from indulging in reading about/learning random stuff and just leaning into it, finding parts of it interesting and becoming obsessed with it
@lamamasalmeh7323
@lamamasalmeh7323 4 ай бұрын
Your goal is always aligned with something you good at,
@DMSYeti
@DMSYeti 4 ай бұрын
@@drodlaren Actually, it does help! Sometimes I forget that just making it day to day can be a valid goal.
@amyreesor8128
@amyreesor8128 4 ай бұрын
This is what I kept thinking too.
@lailanityler2380
@lailanityler2380 4 ай бұрын
“Let’s do this ridiculous thing in a more realistic way” Literally where I’m at right now. Thanks for putting it in words Jessica ❤
@thepuma77
@thepuma77 4 ай бұрын
Man the George Lucas story hits me in the feels. I'm ADHD my wife is autistic and we have two boys have both ADHS and ASD. This is so hopeful. Thanks for what you do!
@unovian
@unovian 4 ай бұрын
Damn, this is really hitting home as someone who realized that a lot of passion and ambition I used to have kinda just.... disappeared. And I don't really think I can 'dream big' anymore or decide what to work towards, because who am I to know what to shoot for or what's possible/impossible for me?
@Alexandra-08
@Alexandra-08 4 ай бұрын
I pre ordered the book when I heard about it and it’s arriving today. I’m SO excited 😆
@HowtoADHD
@HowtoADHD 4 ай бұрын
Aw yay thank you for ordering it!!! Hope you enjoy!
@therealzahyra
@therealzahyra 4 ай бұрын
Whaaat mine says March! 😢 damn amazonnnnn
@Elsakatie
@Elsakatie 4 ай бұрын
It is so amazing
@elyssiacook6913
@elyssiacook6913 4 ай бұрын
​@@therealzahyra the hardback comes out today, the paperback in March - but a lot of places don't have the hardback 🙁 - ordered mine from Blackwell's (UK) if that helps
@geekswithscarves
@geekswithscarves 4 ай бұрын
Still staring out the window here willing the Amazon driver to appear with mine... Lol... So excited for the delivery today
@Anniebell12211
@Anniebell12211 4 ай бұрын
Okay so now I'm crying at my desk because you understand me--I'm so used to calling my impossible goals my fatal flaw. I never thought I could consider them a strength and another tool in my toolbelt. Just bought the book and can't wait to get reading!
@Bimby-b
@Bimby-b 4 ай бұрын
Everyone always told me I get a bee in my bonnet, saying I have these goals but forget about them later or don't achieve them. I can't wait to read the book!
@DoctorDraxion
@DoctorDraxion 4 ай бұрын
This was EXACTLY my experience with my master's thesis. I didn't realize it, but hearing you talk about this, and how your brain worked through this, and how you were able to write this, it's so accurate. I was SO lucky to have someone who didn't tell me to be 'more realistic' or go for a smaller goal, she gave me accountability, she brought me to different places to write, helped me put my ideas in order when they were all jumbled, showed me where I was combining too many things into one chapter, etc. Now, I feel like I've kinda forgotten how to do that, how to dream big and really feel motivated, and I think that's what I'm lacking. It's so important to have that huge goal to shoot for, and it's really interesting that you always hear 'shoot for the moon' but also to be more realistic with making goals. :"D
@karlalott7970
@karlalott7970 4 ай бұрын
The concept of SMART goals has actually been really helpful for me as a person with ADHD, but I agree with you in the sense that neurodivergent people like us need goals that are not too easy & goals that actually match our passions and the things we care about! 😊💕🙏🏾
@happytofu5
@happytofu5 4 ай бұрын
I agree. The SMART goals are the stepping stones that make the road to the big drems ✨
@cmkumar75
@cmkumar75 4 ай бұрын
Big goals matter to anyone, especially for neurodivergent folks. Thanks for stating this so eloquently using your experience with your book. Congrats on your achievement!
@enorisleinwand9502
@enorisleinwand9502 4 ай бұрын
That is so cool ! I want to become an author who lives through books and when the books get too hard or long to work on, I tell myself "it's just impossible to become a professionnal author without writing things for others" and then I want to prove it wrong and motivation comes right back
@lorengodfrey234
@lorengodfrey234 4 ай бұрын
Exciting goals, that totally makes sense!! I do really like SMART goals, but I sincerely respect that others may not. I'm a computer scientist by schooling and trade, and the fundamental aspect of computer programming involves taking a large problem and breaking it down into small problems. For me, the little problems are the SMART goals. They are simple and easy to understand (i.e. I can hold them in my working memory and not forget them). But, yes, by themselves they are boring. This idea of excitement is fantastic. There should be a large exciting goal that spans the smaller uninteresting goals. It's this larger, awesome goal that I have forgotten to set for myself. Thank you for sharing this!
@katetoolate234
@katetoolate234 4 ай бұрын
The timing on this is fortuitous. I just finished a therapy appointment and saw this video pop up shortly after and.. it made me realize I've been trying to hard to set realistic expectations and goals for myself for this thing I'm trying to do this year.. that.. it doesn't seem that exciting. I'm trying to keep myself from being disappointed in the future, but like.. if I get disappointed, it'll only be for a little bit, right? Better to be full of fire and energy to do the thing for the next month or two than to hold myself back from dreaming big and never really doing it.
@IamKristineJones
@IamKristineJones 4 ай бұрын
I sincerely needed to her this today! Thank you! I have set out to start my own company and I ran into road blocks and trying to scale down and quit has really been depressing, now I know why!
@lucilasandoval3084
@lucilasandoval3084 4 ай бұрын
You have no idea of how much I needed to listen to this right now. But seriously why do I get teary eyes with so many of your videos?
@ieafy
@ieafy 2 ай бұрын
Yesss!!! I always disagreed with the idea that you cant consistently rely on motivation/inspiration... i need it, it drives me! I nurture it daily! My goals are so out there, so enormous, I keep most of them secret! I dream of them almost daily. My desire and zest for life grow even bigger than my obstacles and challenges!
@TheEDFLegacy
@TheEDFLegacy 4 ай бұрын
I also have ambitious goals. And now? I'm a policy director for my local political party. And I also moderate for a few KZbin channels. I totally agree, Aiming high is not a bad thing. 😊 ...Except chores. Because _oh my god_ wall of awful. 😢
@Louise-hh2qq
@Louise-hh2qq 4 ай бұрын
Congratulations on the book being out in stores! I got diagnosed this last year. Unfortunately, I've run out of goals/dreams. With all the twists, turns, and desert island stops just to get to my age, all goals have at some point been abandoned. It sounds horrible, but it's just a reckoning. I try on new goals now and then but nothing that lights my fire. 🤷 Anyone out there who has an inkling of a goal - pursue it! 🎯
@anothergeekychannel8384
@anothergeekychannel8384 4 ай бұрын
Maybe it's time to try on some of those old goals and see if they still fit?
@Molly_1123
@Molly_1123 4 ай бұрын
As a middle-aged person with ADHD who just graduated with her M.S. in Counseling I want to give this video two thumbs up! If realistic goals were motivating, I wouldn’t have gone to school! Thanks for sharing your journey. I agree we need big dreams to motivate us through obstacles. Unfortunately, SMART goals for clients were really hammered in by my supervisors, but I think it’s because the “specific” part is so hard for me (okay, how do we figure out the next step to make it happen). I know how good it feels to have a physical thing that exists in the world because you had a dream/vision and worked (with others of course) to make it come true. It’s amazing, right?!?! Very happy for you, enjoy!
@mhcedin
@mhcedin 4 ай бұрын
Maybe SMART is just a way to achieve the accountability that Jessica is talking about? I haven’t thought this through, I just got inspired by your comment.
@neonwitch
@neonwitch 4 ай бұрын
I started crying when I heard that we can do it in a adhd friendly way. There is no „universal correct” way, just effective ways for different people. I gained faith in my dreams after your talk in this podcast. Thank you, good job with a book and let’s goooo do some fantastic things!
@UsakoCosplay
@UsakoCosplay 4 ай бұрын
I think the closest comparable would be the bullet journal book as being part memoir, part how to, and adhd friendly as well as somewhat adhd informative/helpful, but certainly not a direct or 1-1 comparison. So proud of you for completing this amazing feat/goal and look forward to getting a copy myself. ❤
@bretts1646
@bretts1646 4 ай бұрын
I've sat through so many work/mentorship meetings forcing me to write down SMART goals and time after time I've felt they were incredibly frustrating. Thanks for this one!
@SebbieSaurus22
@SebbieSaurus22 4 ай бұрын
Thank you for validating my two really big long-term goals: 1) My fiancée and I want to open a Medieval-themed camping and event site, mainly for LARP, by the end of 2025. 2) I am sewing most of the costume pieces for our wedding party. The bard and the rogue are going off on an adventure, and 11 of our friends as the other D&D classes are going to be in our wedding party! That's 16 costumes (separate costumes for the two of us, for the wedding and reception, plus a vest for the beastmaster ranger's service dog). That's a *lot*, especially for the level of quality of the garments I'm expecting myself to achieve. People have been telling me I'm nuts for goal #2, but we want to open our business first anyway (so we don't have to pay for a venue), so I have time. And my fiancée and I are *very* particular about what we want our wedding to be, so it's worth it to me to put in that amount of time and effort. Thank you for the validation 💜
@TheMaxAwesome
@TheMaxAwesome 4 ай бұрын
“Sometimes the ‘impossible’ goals are the only goals it is possible for us to achieve.” Powerful and inspiring!
@Jebbis
@Jebbis 4 ай бұрын
I wish I could give this video more than one like. Constantly being berated by certain family members over my lifetime about how "I'm not being realistic" always crushed what I was trying to do.
@elliewall6570
@elliewall6570 4 ай бұрын
I've been following your channel ever since I had to leave my university because of my ADHD and undiagnosed autism. I couldn't stop watching your videos and learning systems to navigate the world. What has inspired me most has been your conversation around ableism, what you've learned from it, and how much you empower people through this channel to do what works for them and ignore an ableist society that often limits and fills neurodivergent people with guilt. (A bit of a tangent ik.) I am so excited to read your book! I want to become an architect and design houses for disabilities while having a work-life balance, something I've never had before! It sounds impossible; I'll take your advice and see if having an impossible goal makes it all the more possible! (I think you're on to something with this!)
@estellyjam
@estellyjam 4 ай бұрын
I think this is true for some people, but backfires if you fall into all-or-nothing mind traps (ie, if it feels like I won't be able to do Big Goal, then I will abandon everything about this)
@melissafollis8281
@melissafollis8281 4 ай бұрын
It also only works for people with enough resources/support/safety nets/etc.
@davloe
@davloe 4 ай бұрын
I just got the book via Audible, simply because your voice calms me down and enables me to focus on things very well❤ I don't know how much I'll be able to listen to it bc my main focus is on working on my childhood trauma🥲 But I now have it, and I'll find mental capacity for it eventually😊 It's so amazing to see you thrive in a world made for neurotypical people! Much love from Germany. Thank you, Jessica! We're all incredibly proud of and inspired by you writing this book!❤
@katv7525
@katv7525 4 ай бұрын
Wow that's exactly what I needed to hear as an ADHDer with a new Autism diagnosis. I need my crazy dream, but is it holding me back from settling in my disabilities or is it propelling me forward on a journey of finding myself. Thanks Jessica!
@walkingexercise5375
@walkingexercise5375 4 ай бұрын
Congrats on your book! You can tell that you put your heart into this book and want to help your community! Love your tips about goals, for example, taking breaks, finding ways to make the goal fun or cozy, and using tools or systems that will help you achieve your goals! Mariane Cresp has a video called how to use a self-care/break list on her channel where is talks about 3 types of breaks and Jashii Corrin has some goal planning videos and live videos where she discusses having a low-bar goal and high bar goal. For example, exercise 5 minute would be low-bar and exercise 45 min will be high- bar. She would color in the goal in her journal with different colors according to low-bar or high-bar. I those ideas, too!
@YaFaveNurse
@YaFaveNurse 4 ай бұрын
About to go check out the book! Just learned a couple of weeks ago I had ADHD & found this channel. Glad toknow what was going on in my brain. Good luck on everything with the book & channel.
@idunno966
@idunno966 4 ай бұрын
Thank you for reminding me to genuinely dream BIG instead of trying to fit my dreams into the tiny box of what's "realistic". My life has gone through a lot of upheaval in the last year and as I've been trying to give it new direction I've struggled to find motivation, but I think that if I dare to dream "unrealistic" dreams with my whole heart behind them then I will finally find my new path.
@mortigard
@mortigard 4 ай бұрын
I'm a special education teacher and this is so true! A big part of the IEP at the high school level is called Transitions Planning. For a while, I felt like it was my job to move students from unrealistic goals to realistic goals. One of my students wanted to be a makeup artist. In my head, I was like there is no way this is going to happen. You live in Minnesota and there is no chance of this happening. But 10 years later, sure as shit, she pops up on my Instagram and she's a makeup artist! So, I learned to never doubt my students desires, but to use them as guides for them.
@braedonbellamy9767
@braedonbellamy9767 4 ай бұрын
I just got the audible notification about the boom release. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR RELEASING AN AUDIO BOOK VERSION, with my neurodivergency I struggle alot with being able to sit down and read but I love books and audio books are the way I can.
@nicolethompson3782
@nicolethompson3782 4 ай бұрын
I just got my copy of the book. That plus this video are helping me to recenter myself on getting my thesis done. Thanks and great job you’ve helped me and many others so much! Edit: I think I may have figured out why graduate school has gotten so much more difficult. I think I lost my ridiculous goal now I need to refind one.
@Louigiart
@Louigiart 4 ай бұрын
As a high school student who has been contemplating whether or not I'm neurodivergent for a while now, thank you so much for what you're doing. Your videos have seriously helped me as a person who isn't able to get the treatment needed while also living in a country where autism specifically is heavily stigmatized
@NettanJuni
@NettanJuni 4 ай бұрын
One dream I have, thanks to you, is for your book to be translated to Swedish, so I can give it to my mom. Because she tries, she truly tries, but she doesn't always understand and this book would probably be perfect for her. Thanks to you and this channel I realised that not only do I have autism, I also have ADHD and this channel gave me so many tips to figure out that part of my brain and I've come to the realisation that I need meds to be able to do tasks, so I've requested evaluation, which will take years, but at least it's started. So thank you, truly thank you
@zofiabochenska1240
@zofiabochenska1240 4 ай бұрын
"I had no idea how I can do it, but I knew it would be super cool" I love that mindset!
@janinebean4276
@janinebean4276 4 ай бұрын
The book sounds great! To be fair you can STILL make a whole book on each chapter! But having just the succinct overview version as a first book is amazing! :)
@es-br8ck
@es-br8ck 4 ай бұрын
This is an absolutely brilliant observation and idea. All successful projects were ridiculously difficult to pull off in the first place OR subconsciously delayed for so long that they became difficult. My job has had tons of these moments. "We don't improve the process or architecture or documentation, we REWRITE IT FROM SCRATCH!" For reasons I now understand, the tiniest edits on existing things were horrible and dreadful. Working ten times as much to rewrite the whole thing from scratch and make it the best thing it could be was always much... easier to pull off. "Edit three pages and add a table in the annex" was always far far worse to do than "rewrite 15 pages, beautify the layout and throw out that stupid annex nobody needs anymore". And not just more motivating, it was objectively better for everyone and the whole thing was good afterwards, and people finally used it to improve their own work and not just check off company regulation. So, off to set lofty goals for all the things now.
@ayelenmolli7325
@ayelenmolli7325 4 ай бұрын
Congrats for your book! !!!🎉🎉🎉 love from Argentina! 🎉
@bobtins
@bobtins 4 ай бұрын
I am inspired by this, and your enthusiasm about your book makes me want to get it. Congratulations on your accomplishment! I think that respecting your own dreams is so important. I can really relate to that because most of my ideas are pretty "out there". Having "SMART goals" seems like just another form of forcing ourselves into something that we're not. Letting go of that and trusting your instincts and passion is being true to yourself. It's not that easy to go against the voices telling you to be careful and not stick out, but we are never going to fit in... it's a relief just to stop trying to do that.
@DaleESkywalker
@DaleESkywalker 4 ай бұрын
Happy New Year, Jess, and all the Brains!
@HowtoADHD
@HowtoADHD 4 ай бұрын
Happy New Year!!!!
@markuswunsch
@markuswunsch 4 ай бұрын
Happy New Year to you too! And thanks for all the great work you share with us! Plus in this video I really felt understood.
@chaaachouu16
@chaaachouu16 4 ай бұрын
I was so happy to see your book was also available as an audiobook! And read by yourself as well 🤩 Can't wait to dive into it!
@fanclubsorg
@fanclubsorg 4 ай бұрын
This was a well-timed video. Thank you. Continuing the chase!
@Me-wk3ix
@Me-wk3ix 4 ай бұрын
Thank you for the reminder! Just ordered:)
@MsSagittariusA
@MsSagittariusA 4 ай бұрын
It's at my library. All.the copies are currently checked out. So glad people like it!
@MsDAV2
@MsDAV2 4 ай бұрын
This is the most!! Congratulations!!!
@pennylane5871
@pennylane5871 4 ай бұрын
Thank you so mcuh for this! I needed this so much 🥺
@vaultfox
@vaultfox 4 ай бұрын
SO excited to dive into this one on kindle, thanks again for all of the info on your channel. You were the catalyst for me going and getting my own ADHD diagnosis at 34 and I can't thank you enough for that.
@Cmoore-Books
@Cmoore-Books 4 ай бұрын
So proud of you Jessica! I’m starting on the audiobook tonight and my physical copy is coming tomorrow. You helped me to realize that I needed to get tested for ADHD as an adult. This channel has helped me so much and I’m excited for the amazing resources in your book! ❤
@TheOtterPup1
@TheOtterPup1 4 ай бұрын
Everyone is talking about their new book, get their book, and honestly I love all of these creators and I'm kind of tired about hearing about the books they've written. Partly because I'm jealous because I'm so depressed and I can't get myself to write the book I've always wanted to. I don't feel strong enough to be in these spaces and be my authentic self. I started watching your channel a couple months before the pandemic because I found out at 30 I had ADHD and ASD. I have loved your channel and I have learned so much about myself and have appreciated every moment. I haven't purchased any of these new books from all my favorite creators who honestly have such a close place in my heart same as you. But as you were describing your impossible goal, that reading your book should feel like I binged watched your whole channel(which I have done a couple times), watching your ted talk, etc, etc, and sitting down to have a coffee with you in that moment I have never gone to audible so fast and bought a book, and after I was like I hope she narrated it too and went back to check. Jessica, thank you for being you, I don't know what this journey I'm on would look like without you. I'm excited to learn more with you. You have made a profound difference on my life.
@christinacreech1974
@christinacreech1974 4 ай бұрын
I pre-ordered your book and it came today! I can't wait to read it!
@hawkiowan
@hawkiowan 4 ай бұрын
I'm so excited about your book, including because I NEED it, and so happy for -- and unjustifiably proud of -- you!
@13realmusic
@13realmusic 4 ай бұрын
This is really helpful! I’m looking forward to reading your book!
@coovxrp
@coovxrp 4 ай бұрын
Amazing!! It’s moving me seeing how emotional you are over your book, and you should be, that’s amazing! Can’t wait to receive my copy ❤❤
@mistyhelena
@mistyhelena 4 ай бұрын
yessss!!!! This is awesome, Congratulations!
@karouchimera
@karouchimera 4 ай бұрын
I needed to hear this today... thank you so much for sharing ❤
@SaraShire
@SaraShire 4 ай бұрын
My copy of your book is out for delivery! I’m truly looking forward to reading it. I’m happy to be one of your patrons. 😊
@cyanpumawarriorofhope384
@cyanpumawarriorofhope384 4 ай бұрын
This really speaks to me. Thanks for being you Jessica, and taking the leap for your dreams.
@wezohopp
@wezohopp 4 ай бұрын
Congratulations on your book. Your channel has been a huge help to me and you starting on your book inspired me to start on my game and this video has made me decide on the bigger version of that. Your doing some great work and helping a lot of people 🤘🏾🤘🏾
@FDNeo
@FDNeo 4 ай бұрын
I've spent 38 years lost from the SMART goals set by schools and others. And I've spent the last 2 years with my AMBITIOUS goals becoming a program lead at my school, and building a program for others like me. As I tell my students "I don't need you to be like all of them, I need you to be all of you, which is AMAZING. Go break something, be scared, be awesome, be different. You got my support". I can't wait to read your book :) “Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars” - Norman Vincent Peale
@carolinelong1
@carolinelong1 4 ай бұрын
I just got your kindle version of your book! I'm so excited to go through it! I came across your channel as a 'mature' student and mom in 2018. The middle school kids, in the placement I was in, was watching your Ted talk and I was hooked from there. I was still not diagnosed until 2019 but was pretty confident I had ADHD since middle school and was exploring a diagnosis for my then grade 2 son. I am SO grateful for your channel, for the work you put into this community and I want to extend the most biggest and warmest congratulations to you for completing this book and making it available to your community! I am a proud member of this community. You are amazing, keep being you!
@ericadavid2237
@ericadavid2237 4 ай бұрын
I'm so proud of you! Ordering now 🎉
@Mr308RYAN
@Mr308RYAN 4 ай бұрын
Aaaah! Congrats! That's awesome!
@elizabethmorsund4512
@elizabethmorsund4512 4 ай бұрын
Congratulations, and thank you!
@marybaker9401
@marybaker9401 4 ай бұрын
Congratulations on your book! You should feel very proud. Well done
@darciamcdaniel4531
@darciamcdaniel4531 4 ай бұрын
How to ADHD the book arrived on my porch this morning and I’m already on chapter 3 and loving both the book and myself more each page I devour. Thank you for doing the hard work it took to write this book and for being an inspiration to our very special community. I’m looking forward to seeing you in your next role as a mother. Get ready to get good at failing over and over and doing it all again with love and delight day after day. ❤
@bethklass
@bethklass 4 ай бұрын
I love this!!!! This is so inspiring. Thanks for showing your struggles and your pride in accomplishing something big
@sounddilemma6474
@sounddilemma6474 4 ай бұрын
Just got your book today! Thank you ❤
@barbdowns1
@barbdowns1 4 ай бұрын
Congratulations!!
@SusannMarieDye
@SusannMarieDye 4 ай бұрын
Congratulations on your book!
@cstyles683
@cstyles683 4 ай бұрын
My copy just arrived this afternoon and I'm really excited to dig into it! I also love the idea of having lofty goals over realistic ones, it's so easy to lose motivation due to boredom or feeling like I'm "settling" unless I'm working towards something truly great.
@Loulizabeth
@Loulizabeth 4 ай бұрын
I have got the Audible version of your book and it's downloaded and ready for me to listen to. Honestly can't wait to listen to you share all that you've been wanting to share with us in this way. I definitely have big dreams that I'm sure others think are impossible but I've felt they're the dreams God's put into me to fulfil almost because of the difficulties I have. I'm hoping to get diagnosed this year finally, think I might have autism as well. Already diagnosed with Dyslexia. But with no real understanding of ADHD I stumbled on your channel. Thank you for all you've done. Praying and hoping for you to have new impossible dreams and that you become and achieve all you were created for. You have been such an inspiration to me so thank you.
@Robstar0
@Robstar0 4 ай бұрын
Of all of your video's I watched over SO many years, and some of which are downright amazing, this one spoke to me SO MUCH. I'm 44 and as a kid I rarely felt the kind of support you describe here and I let go of so many of my dreams believing they were impossible for me to achieve. Thankfully it is never too late to accomplish at least some of them later in life. But through this video I now realized what I need to ask for from others when a goal is really important for me. I need to accept that I need support, and I need to ASK for it from people who will hopefully not judge me. Much more than I already do. Just ordered your book!
@tymo9288
@tymo9288 4 ай бұрын
Thanks for book touring to Seattle today! I saw you on TV and you've given me so much hope!💚
@anisa2273
@anisa2273 4 ай бұрын
just got the ebook, im so proud of you!!!
@VyvianIsabel
@VyvianIsabel 4 ай бұрын
The joy I felt at this already being an audiobook so quickly and read by you too, THANK YOU... Looking forward to listening!
@maranutt775
@maranutt775 4 ай бұрын
Thank you so much for this video! Really appreciate it.
@bakeuplittlesuzy9518
@bakeuplittlesuzy9518 4 ай бұрын
Congratulations on your MAJOR accomplishment! I was laid off from my job so I can't buy it now, but I'll read it as soon as I can get it from the library. You're awesome! 🎉
@mltorrefranca
@mltorrefranca 4 ай бұрын
So very happy for you!
@Runsonespresso
@Runsonespresso 4 ай бұрын
Just opened my package with your book! I can't wait to dig in 🖤
@JayPlazma
@JayPlazma 4 ай бұрын
Just ordered the book - super excited to read it! Proud of ya 📣
@juliettemathier
@juliettemathier 4 ай бұрын
I preordered the audiobook the second you told us about it on your channel 😊 still love physical books, but at the moment I know, listening is so much easier for me- so I’m very thankful that you included this option! Started listening last night - only a few chapters in right, but I loved every second of it! Congratulations and thank you very much! Also, I I’ve struggled my whole life with goals… maybe I haven’t set the right ones - either too big and I got scared or talked out of them; or too small and was not motivated enough or maybe even bored..? I‘ll try to find a middle way 😉 you were very inspiring! (As usual 😁) My best wishes for you, your loved ones and your career! 🍀❤🍀
@jenkiyokawa742
@jenkiyokawa742 4 ай бұрын
I have been following you for years. What can I say, Wow! Congratulations! Bought the audible version and waiting for my hard copy to come in the mail. Jessica, you are an inspiration ! Your videos have helped me so much, thank you. 🙏🏼 Best wishes for the New Year! It’s going to be exciting!👼🐣👩‍🍼
@jasonrhome710
@jasonrhome710 4 ай бұрын
Congrats on the release of the book! And for making me cry on my lunch break! But, seriously, more congrats on the book!
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