"I Can't Decide On A Career" (Why You Can't Commit To A Job)

[@HealthyGamerGG]

Want more on careers? Dr. K will be doing a members-only "Building a Fulfilling Career" stream at the end of January! Learn more about memberships here: bit.ly/4fAF2l0 We also have a Careers section on our free community Discord. Join to participate in resume reviews, ask for or provide peer support, come to Coworking for some body doubling, be a part of our job seekers club, and more! explore.healthygamer.gg/en/discord

[@Pax.Britannica]

Can you guess my job: I hate every second of it, but I can't quit? 😂

[@99brooklynnn]

This is fitting. I put in my 2 weeks today, and when my boss asked to speak it was just her screaming at me. Telling me I needed to "work on myself", how she was such a good manager, then had the nerve to ask if I was coming in tomorrow. Guess what my answer was? It sucks to be set back to zero, but it's ALWAYS okay to leave an abusive or toxic work environment.

[@HealthyGamerGG]

All our best on the next chapter! 🎉

[@truckywuckyuwu]

Sorry to hear that happened to you. Sounds like you made a tough choice, but it appears to be the right one for you. Hope you can find something that fulfills you, gives you a better work and life balance. And let's you enjoy life, family, friends and experiences more in this world.

[@joanneblack7697]

@@99brooklynnn Your boss sounds completely ridiculous.

[@BoostedPastime]

You made the right decision if your boss screams at you you should have left a long time ago.

[@Codemonkey564]

Congrats! its a tough choice but nobody has to deal with toxicity like that. Took me 8 years to realize that it my job, but also kind of fitting with Dr K speaking of desperation, because that's what kept me in the toxic environment, I couldn't afford to leave, it took me years to finally face the reality that it wasn't working.

[@mrssmith1691]

"I was looking for a job and then I found a job, and heaven knows I'm miserable now!"

[@PassionateSpirit88]

Yes! Morrissey

[@liivvrose]

Yet more proof unfortunately that Morrissey was really onto something

[@PassionateSpirit88]

@liivvrose He was/is. And you're cute.

[@firecrusades3397]

@@liivvrose”unfortunately i am not a homosexual”

[@aveliese]

@@mrssmith1691 lol

[@necnotv1683]

"The only thing worse than having a job is having no job." I just don't want to spend the majority of my life on work just to get by. Speaking as someone with a decent IT job, good benefits and still am in this position. Only having a few weeks of freedom while on vacation each year can't be how you are supposed to be happy in life.

[@morganseppy5180]

@@necnotv1683 work to live, do not live to work. 💕

[@EzaleaGraves]

I think about this a lot. I've been writing in my spare time, and my dream is to do that professionally, and it's mostly because I can't stand the idea of working for someone else for a decade just to finally get the privilege of being able to take an extra five days off a year. It's unbelievable to me that this is somehow the norm.

[@stgermainb]

Incredibly relatable

[@joelcoll4034]

I don't think you are supposed to be happy, I view being happy as a privilige. Good luck though

[@Play-On7]

As someone who has been out of work for quite awhile here is my expereince with all the "free" time. Note though that I have ADHD so that might make my expereince different from someone who doesn't have ADHD. Without the consistent day to day schedule of a job, my brain sort of checked out. My sleeping schedule is totally trashed. All the free time that I should have from not working is usually spent sleeping. I had a hard time focusing on my hobbies. When I was working it was easy for me to do my hobbies after comimg home from work. It got to the point that I just accepted that if I wanted to do and enjoy my hobbies, I would have to make a schedule. After making a schedule things got better for me. Again though, my sleeping schedule makes it so that I can't take full advantage of all the time that I should have. As for being broke the main thing I miss is being able to go out. I have had a lot of time to reflecet on myself and I am genuinely the happiest I have been in years.

[@captain1432]

Well, the title "I Can't Decide On A Career" seemed quite fitting to my kind of problem, so I had high hopes coming into this video. However, my main takeaway from this video is that desperation must not be the driving force when choosing a job. While that's important, it doesn't really provide a solution for the problem of finding a fitting career. People keep telling me to decide this based on my personal interests and strengths, but my interests are so far spread without anything sticking out as a "main thing". Same goes for strengths: From my POV, I am kind of an all-rounder; there is nothing I can think of which stands out as a true strength, but I'm quite solid in many things. So far my career path was molded by coincidences and I quite dislike it.

[@motoboy6666]

Can relate, its hard to know yourself good enough i feel to really get the drive and specific direction. Ive felt that with hobbies but not with work, even though i studied/worked with stuff that ”should” be of interest. Have a lot of anxiety and imposter syndrome that fogs my thinking though.

[@halbrd]

Thanks for saving me the time watching this. It annoys me how often this happens with HG video thumbnails/titles.

[@VThree3]

Thank you for saving my time. I'm the same as you so my conclusion was to simply go with the most practical, highest salary and lowest education time. Basically min-maxing. If I don't have a preference and my strengths and likes are spread out then no one choice will be the correct one, instead there will be multiple correct choices.

[@mcculloughdakota]

Yes! I agree. Your comment needs more attention. I feel like I can’t decide on a career path because nothing seems to fulfill purpose in my life. Then I go job hunting and always talk myself out of menial jobs because, thanks to past experiences, I have this stupid anxiety about dealing with crappy people on the job or feeling like I’m wasting valuable time on a job I dislike when I should already have a fulfilling career - a feeling of time scarcity. I worry that if I choose another unfulfilling job or career path that it will keep setting me back from ever having stability. It’s like I need to find the exact right one now.

[@sparecactus]

Same position! Was hoping to get some insight on finding a career. Kind of hard to not act out of desperation when I’m broke and in debt!

[@ok_listen]

I analyzed myself during my old job. I OVERANALYZED myself, every single day, and when i couldn't take it anymore and I've quit, i realized that we dont have control over everything. Sometimes the environment is just bad and yes, it can happen consecutively. Sometimes we're too hard on ourselves.

[@JayOFae]

You're right.

[@Antonio-xq2hg]

I'm in the "i can't take this anymore" phase

[@jdijkstra8115]

How long have you been working? Me for 5 years and I'm cooked.

[@brandonhughes645]

Same, im 3 years into corperate jobs and 14 years since i got my first job.

[@level70elf]

2 years here 3 years there 4 years there , nothing gave me joy , i just dumbed myself down get through that

[@brandonhughes645]

@level70elf yeah, corperate jobs arent for intelligent people just obedient people that show results.

[@Jake38nine]

Me too. I'm so exhausted...

[@donnelly5757]

When the jobs you end up getting do not allow you to financially pursue relationships, pay off debt, pursue new or current hobbies, and if you are single and lonely and not able to afford anything that can at least substitute or fill the void, then sticking to a job and especially a mundane customer service like job gets a little hard to stick to.

[@Jeppe_P]

So then you keep looking for something better right away.

[@joanneblack7697]

That's the tricky part. When you have so little money that you can't afford to even go out, try new things, get a hobby, meet new people ... like you said ... these all cost money ... and when you are living at or below poverty level ... then how do you do anything?

[@tiffanyapril5458]

@@joanneblack7697Right and minimum wage has barely increased… the government needs to address this

[@Carlos.Rivera]

​@joanneblack7697 sleep and calisthenics are basically free

[@murphdog9506]

This is me in a nutshell....😞

[@DrakeTheCaster]

My problem is just that I am genuinely lazy and don't actually want to work in the 1st place lol. In a more "fair to myself" way, my tolerance for stress has a bery low threshold. Just meeting expectations at work very quickly becomes the equivalent of a marathon where every shift ends with me mentally and physically exhausted to the point where my 'time off' becomes a task and the goal is 'getting enough rest to be ready to tackle another work day' which is a point I basically never reach. Then it becomes a cycle of me questioning "how long can I realistically keep doing this?" To which the answer is 'I'm already past the point where I need to stop'. But still this applies to me, I know there are jobs where you frankly do very little, and I could eventually get one of those jobs if I followed these steps.

[@darajoyce5514]

hugs man

[@evaldasvilkas2334]

i am like u, i learned that i feel motivated by concrete gols where i do this job and then can leave the job for the day. so I do it super fast super hard so I can go and do nothing asap :D too bad that job is gone now and I have to deal with marathon again and I hate it su much its so draining and if I work fast to do nothing then I have to do more like wtf man :D

[@IsaacCordingley]

It’s like your brain wants action but shuts down under pressure.

[@DWbo-r7v]

Its hard to get jobs right now anyway unless you are highly skilled

[@iaroslavagapov2671]

​@@evaldasvilkas2334the best job I've ever had(besides the current one) was a postman because it literally allowed me to deliver all letters within 1-2 hours and then chill for the rest of the day.

[@EveLaRiccia]

This is a re-upload, but I got laid off today and it’s a good time to hear it again

[@loveinthevalley]

Hey, good luck to you. That really blows. I'm hoping the best for you and the next days don't cut too deep ❤

[@GeoEngel]

Ditto, new year new job yeah?

[@sahanadeshmukh695]

Sorry to hear that, it can feel very unpleasant to be laid off. You will get through the hard times though

[@VVVVV00]

No one is hiring bro

[@catdogfishdogcats]

I literally was having Deja Vu, like, "Why is this video familiar, didn't I watch this before?" Needed to check to comments to make sure I wasn't going mad, lol, and that it in fact a reupload 😂🎉

[@morganseppy5180]

My job cycle is driven by a lack of pay raises, bonuses, and sheer f-ing appreciation, so yes, i hat my f-ing job. I worked for 5 years for a great manager and when he left, his defense left and soon after i and others left. And immediately got 20% pay raise. No reason to become "attached" to any job

[@kourier_4818]

This actually came at a great time. I probably had the worse year at my job so far due to frustrations to the point of seeking out psychiatric assistance. Over the holiday I reflected on my mindset and realized a lot of what made me most upset was out of my control and instead of being upset with management because they won’t do this or they do that, I focused on what I can do. Obviously we’re still early in the year but the change of mindset (and mood stabilizers) is setting a new trajectory to make it better year. “Working harder” to me doesn’t mean trying to stack boxes twice as fast, or finish a report in 3 days instead of 5. It can be as simple as updating your planner to better accommodate last minute task, familiarizing yourself with you product or inventory. Knowing your job better than most people. Thank you Dr.K for all your videos over the year you’ve helped a lot of people.

[@coollary1]

1. Notice the cycle of desperation 2. Reduce your desperation 3. Create space for new motivation 4. Experiment in life 5. Don't get complacent Tip: having faith things will work and will get better makes life better. Your attitude impacts the journey and the outcome. Be optimistic

[@DWbo-r7v]

Sometimes people are just unlucky The USA has a strange fetish about extreme individualism that needs to be challenged

[@Madchris8828]

​@DWbo-r7v well said. Though I think some level of individualism is helpful it has also left a lot of people in the dust and struggling often even resentful too. We need to be more willing to help people in need whether that's a friendly boot in the right direction or trying to figure out the root causes whatever the individual needs more.. many other cultures are more willing to help strangers than ours.

[@coollary1]

@DWbo-r7v i agree and I think DrK agrees too. I’m currently living in my car homeless while I put out metaphorical flames. HGG has changed my internal world so much that who I was a few yrs ago is almost unrecognizable. Keep your head up, practice what Hgg teaches and you’ll also change. hopefully for the better

[@saby7825]

If you're not a optimistic person, you can't just be optimistic.

[@Purple_raven28]

Thank you 🙏

[@Zodiacman16]

I used to hate my job because I was desperate for a "better job in programming". I eventually decided to be content with the job I have and focus on the programming stuff as a hobby. Turns out I don't even want to write code for other people, I just really like my personal projects.

[@fluffykookie8554]

Honestly I needed this video as someone who has quit most of my jobs after initial excitement for the job and as time goes on its like i find things or just there are things that may be negative about it that it keeps getting bigger in my mind until I end up quitting. Looking back, I could have stayed longer at a probably all of them. I could have done something different like change my mindset and look more at the positive and could have done things to make it better for myself and just not sitting in that negative cycle because its not benefiting me at all. I also should apply to things that I like more so and know I'd stay longer at actually like or just have interest in rather than applying to whatever out of desperation and just almost panic at not having a job. Right now, I'm working as a substitute teacher. It's not the most consistent during certain months, but I do like it.

[@ijustlike0010]

Ever thought about teaching ESL abroad?

[@Coral-h4c1]

I found it extremely unrewarding to apologize and admit my mistakes because the other party just says "yes it is all your fault". Makes you just hate people more and more

[@KakashiHatake-sg8ym]

I got this with a past friend, it became almost expected that I would apologize no matter what happened, I never got approached by the other person to solve things

[@Richie131hun]

Yes! This whole narcissistic, insensitive society is disgusting...

[@microsoftpain]

i hate my job because it does not allow me to utilize my skillset. graduating college and jumping into an oversaturated tech market leaves nothing but hopelessness for most of us. then, we find any job that will take us in the meantime, and i'm wasting my time and resources.

[@green52408]

@@microsoftpain this is so me

[@roripantsu]

and lots of people are desperate to get a tech job despite the over saturation and high entry barrier because they dream of it being the comfy sit in the chair job. guess its not all thats praised to be huh

[@LathropLdST]

If you are in IT with the incorrect skillet, you are toast. Seen it happen to many that thought they were secure with the most basic/generic of skills - be it plain full stack, QA, BA, DA, PM, as well as IT TA, HR, etc. Only the IT specialized (in the correct areas) guys I know are in employment.

[@xXx_Regulus_xXx]

Reducing outsourcing would alleviate this. We are not wrong for following sound advice and studying IT after being told it would be a promising career.

[@roripantsu]

@xXx_Regulus_xXx never gonna happen as long as late stage capitalism exists

[@troytalbot5746]

Great timing. 1 thing that I wish I realized earlier is: seeing myself as my own ceo and building my own brand vs. seeing myself and acting as a loyal employee. The later comes with certain expectations that can lead to disappointment. The first comes with guarding and working in things that can be leveraged to move in the right direction.

[@motoboy6666]

This is a great mindset i feel

[@EzaleaGraves]

Maybe it's that the jobs can't stick to me.

[@HealthyGamerGG]

Uno reverse card energy

[@user-xz1wy4to4o]

Problem is you need the job more than it needs you 😂

[@gotinogaden]

@@user-xz1wy4to4o That's what my ex-managers used to say before giving me a call to come back 8 months after I'd quit

[@thungyoung]

Yeah regarding that part about working hard in your job, I experienced many a times manipulative people who would be more than willing to exploit you. It's tough man, especially when you are new and that person is your direct supervisor. Like being intentionally ostracized and bullied into self doubt. It's really hard to ignore when people use these tactics in the workplace to directly cause problems and interfere in your work. Such a dangerous world honestly...

[@patiakreles]

I'm close to two years on this job and I cycle between "I hate this" and "I love this"... I have done a ton of introspection and my "I hate this" phases are triggered by specific situations with my boss. After those I lose motivation, then I start to get bored. My job is about being self sufficient, so if I don't do anything nothing happens really. I have to create my job and execute it. I start feeling desperate and I can observe it so clearly. I have to do a lot of self soothing to lower my expectations and reflect on all the pros of this job, it is walkable from home, my colleagues are really nice, I have pressure sometimes, but not nearly as horrible as my previous jobs. My main con is my boss and if I try to see her as a work in progress I can release some of that negative energy. It is hard to do so, because she doesn't contribute to my wellbeing, but I know that is independent from me.

[@freeottis]

I made a lot of money as a programmer during the golden era of coding, quit in 2022, been living off savings since. Nothing compares to the joy of getting up whenever you want, going to sleep whenever you want, and doing fuck all. The 9to5 life truly is the biggest thief of time and the will to live.

[@mysterioushoodedguy2332]

this was the dream that was sold to me when i was a kid. But in todays world its impossible and it feels like I just dont have any hope of happiness

[@rafciopranks3570]

Having a job and not having a job are the 2 worst states bros

[@gruel_summer]

Being essential during covid drained me to the point of getting stuck in this cycle. I'm currently trying to be honest with myself about what i want and what sparks joy.

[@konradnoises]

I’ve literally just had a 3 hour long call with my best friend trying to give him motivation to express his feelings about his job in order to take action. And then this is posted. Talk about timing. I’ve shared with him and will keep sharing as long as it helps more people ❤. Thank you for all the good work you put in

[@moosiefed6765]

I quit my job. Made me go to psychiatrist actually. I know it's just a phase but I feel like I am failure to waste my years of education to the job that wasnt for me. Like as my future ended in moment when I decided that. The unknown and no support made life problems into reasons for not wanting to try to be happy anymore. It's such a weird feeling, mix of shame and relief

[@Chris-ki2dx]

Great video. Now I think many of us would love to see part II, where you discuss what if we *literally* can't decide on a career... Like: "I have this career A to pick, it has these pros and cons, and then there is this career B path, it has those other pros and cons that are completely different and hard to weigh. And there is also career C path potentially, etc etc..." How do we weigh pros and cons properly? Should we even try to do that at all? I get insane analysis paralysis from that and I don't know what to about it

[@xXx_Regulus_xXx]

If the pros and cons aren't directly comparable pick the one with the most pros or the highest salary or roll dice. Action is better than analysis paralysis

[@MsharyPersonal]

This is very helpful. Thank you. I never really realized my own shortcomings as an employee. I'm only now starting to better understand the ("meta") avenues of employment that I never learned, was never taught growing up, and never worked on (which are the various things you talked about in this video). This also helped me better understand the ACTUAL shortcomings of my employer back then. They weren't perfect, but I misunderstood the ways in which I fell short, and the ways in which they fell short from their end of the working relationship. Thank you! More on this topic would be enlightening 🙏

[@HealthyGamerGG]

We have a "Building a Fulfilling Career" members-only stream scheduled in the last week of January, if that might be helpful to you 💚

[@BoostedPastime]

Thank you Dr.K and team because I genuinely needed to hear this.

[@TheShubLub]

Can't stick to a job because most jobs fucking suck. Remember to thank a billionaire!

[@cherubin7th]

Did the billionaire force you to work at gunpoint?

[@wejustsawmanfly]

@@cherubin7th they kinda do, yeah, but they do it in white gloves

[@dogma7911]

Then... become a billionaire.

[@naychi2]

I never felt so called out, I changed job 3 times last year

[@Jake38nine]

How did that happen? I'd like to hear you r story. I'm in a position where I got laid off 9 months ago, took 2 months to get a new job, but all it was, was me going back to a job I used to work at for almost 10 years. The management was different and then they were cutting my hours and lied to me about my promotion, so I quit as soon as I got a new job. Now I have that new job and I'm miserable. I go home emotional, just hoping to hear back from any other job that is during the day. Luckily I've heard back much faster now than I did during the spring. I've got 2 interviews coming up. And I can't wait. Both are day jobs, and very seldom weekends or no weekends. I'm the kind of person who used to stay and be "loyal" to a job, until I started putting myself first. So I'm doing that.

[@drunkenrampage1588]

"I was looking for a job, and then I found a job And heaven knows I'm miserable now" - The Smiths

[@fernosbonos5394]

Sad as it is, some jobs don't give flattering pay and rarely get good ones

[@Anthony-ru7sk]

Dr. k with the perfect video at the perfect time once again. I've been desperate for any kind of work for about a month. I've been applying everywhere from pizza places to car washes and any other min wage that will take me. Still not sure what to do, but the video helped me feel better about it.

[@ijustlike0010]

Ever thought about teaching ESL abroad? If you're a native speaker all you need is a certification

[@Anthony-ru7sk]

@ I don’t think there’s a stone I haven’t unturned. Honestly, can’t see myself doing it. I’m 31 year old 6’8” hippy stoner with some charisma on a good day. I dream of doing something entrepreneurial, but so does everybody.

[@SSJKamui]

Here in germany, the idea of choosing your career is rather recent. The german word for job is beruf and beruf comes from Berufung. In most cases, berufung means having a task or job given to you by god, destiny or a higher human authority. The last case usually refers to getting the position as a professor or getting forced to join the military. But in most cases, Berufung means chosen by destiny.

[@lisaa9430]

I really, really needed to hear this. Thank you so much!

[@AyamGeprek2603]

I can't even get a job.

[@AyamGeprek2603]

@Eventzz0 I relate.

[@bobbysandiego]

​@@Eventzz0you're telling me mcdonalds won't hire you?

[@Theresamarie-y8b]

I love the job. I intensely dislike the people.

[@LOLHAXGUN]

yup, people have stupid rules

[@squallrulz20]

This sounds like any job in healthcare where all your colleagues are toxic, hate eachother and dont care about the people they are looking after.

[@indrickboreale7381]

​@@LOLHAXGUN The funniest part of jobs that you can sometimes get a promotion, because you just do your work professionally, and you don't do stuff that make you look bad, like being lazy at job, complaining all the time, insulting their bosses behind their backs (they actually hear you, they only pretend they don't), going to job drunk or with hidden drugs, smoking cigarettes whenether someone calls an alarm even if it's like 3 minutes long, straight up stealing etc. By treating your job somewhat seriously you make your day easier and less miserable, but some people don't understand such simple information

[@LOLHAXGUN]

@@indrickboreale7381 i dont understand, you assumed that i don't respect the job and the people? and are you not aware that you can be an exemplar employee yet still get treated like shit?

[@indrickboreale7381]

@@LOLHAXGUN I'm not talking about you, I simply don't know you. That was a rant on my certain coworkers, if you feel offended I'm sorry

[@choochtech]

All and any jobs are terrible. I want to win the lottery and travel the world and have zero bills or obligations. Who is with me?

[@ijustlike0010]

You wanna travel? Go teach ESL abroad

[@camilla_films_stuff]

i’m in

[@ajaxplay8]

Absolutely. I have a standard 40 hour work week and a 1,5 hour daily commute. I get nothing done anymore. I stopped going to gym. I barely see my friends. I have little time for hobbies. Often I come home tired, do chores and then just sleep. On the weekends I try to recover but there is never enough time. Why would I ever voluntarily want to live like this?

[@juzhang6665]

@@ijustlike0010teaching kinda sucks 😂

[@melo4112]

I just worked my last day at my job of 2 years yesterday. These videos come at the most convenient times can’t make this up.

[@DWbo-r7v]

a recession coming

[@hademvids]

unfortunately i think this is an incredibly privileged perspective that not many people have the luck to actually put into practice. If you're stuck in minimum wage at full time, or two minimum wage jobs at full time, there's not much you can do. Eventually the systemic oppression outweighs what one individual can achieve to work against it.

[@airheadbomb]

Is there any ways to get help from people who have the same job/situation as you? Most of these problems can't be solved alone but you may have opportunities to bond with others. Hang in there!

[@justinbaker8695]

I more so think you're telling yourself because it's hard for me it must be hard for everyone else and that's just not the case

[@justinbaker8695]

You have a limiting mindset so you're constantly putting a ceiling on what you're actually capable of😊

[@Kaiziak]

You’re not stuck, but keep telling yourself that and maybe bill gates will have pity on you and give you a million dollars

[@hademvids]

@@Kaiziak what are you on about 😂

[@adamstefany8110]

Mine geologist here. I graduated a year ago with a bachelor’s in geosciences with the intent of becoming a mine geologist. Been working at this mine for about 7 months as ore control. The commute is long and I’m seeing that the job is more spreadsheet stuff than actual geology and isn’t that hard, which made me question the integrity about the job. Dr. K’s advice about non-complacency and engagement have opened a new perspective for me and changed the way I view my job from when I wake up at 3:30 in the morning to when I get home at about 5:30. Much appreciated Dr. K!

[@Chasebanks523]

My problem is that I take things way too personal at a job .Even when the boss is fairly polite or patient. I still hate getting corrected , and when I mess up I beat myself up too much . Any solutions ??

[@safak.]

Try to be a little invisible to yourself, not everything in the world is about you, when you are at work most likely "nothing" is about you, relax. I don't know what you do, but focus on getting the job done right, not on "you doing the job right".

[@johnrivers3813]

Treat yourself like how you'd treat a friend?

[@xXx_Regulus_xXx]

literally just calm down?

[@blubug768]

Why have a job when I dont have any desires, ambitions, friends, love life, nothing at all to make anything worth it...

[@filho4437]

Exactly, the motivation for Americans to work is non existent. We can't get an education to get the skills we need because we can't afford it. We can't afford to date, we can't afford hobbies to give us a sense of progression outside of our meaningless work life. I can't afford the healthcare I need to get address my mental health. Americans are marching towards a major uptick in *self end of lifing* It's a very obvious cliff we are heading towards, and no amount of pep talks are going to change that. The economy might be getting better, but better from what? It seems every peak from yesteryear is a total pipedream for tomorrow.

[@saltiestsiren]

The cycle of desperation explains my situation perfectly, and it extends way past the job stuff too. The way you described the medical system as being one of fixing problems and not building health-you took the words right out of my mouth. I've had somewhere around 25 jobs in 8 years. Longest I stayed at one was not quite 2 years and it gave some clues as to what I need in a job. Ultimately my mental illnesses are just too severe for me to work at all right now.

[@JklHints-Tips]

This is what I love about Dr K. Instead of preaching Toxic positivity , He explains things on a realistic point of view.

[@jonathantrautman]

on the contrary, my problem is that I am actually very good at keeping an abusive and terrible job

[@supasteveskates]

@@jonathantrautman 🫡 🫡🫡 We can make a change

[@ProgrammedForFailure]

Omg I can’t believe you made this video the same day I ran into you right after I got hired at chilis! I remember I recognized you and said “hey, I don’t mean to disturb your meal, but are you Dr. K?” And then you looked at me with a snap and your eyes wide, and I mean like WIDE wide, and said “GET OUT OF MY HEAD” and proceeded to start hooing at me and beating your chest and gnarling your teeth at me while shaking your head. Man then I chuckled and tried to shake your hand haha! But you just shoved me through the drywall and into the other room, so I got up and broke into a full sprint which was difficult at the time due to the injuries. And then when you started barreling at me on all 4’s shattering the sound barrier (and everyone’s eardrums) you got me and that’s all I could remember. But anyways they still said they’d go through with the hiring process! Great guy!

[@NeIIy]

And then all the penguins in the deep frier clapped

[@johnrivers3813]

I can definitely see a reason to hate my job, quite a few of my coworkers do but I try to make the best of it. It's not financially viable to stay long term and it does not offer opportunity for career growth other than one or two steps above me. but I am trying to utilize it the best I can for when I do end up in my career path. Being able to break the ice and make small talk, learning how to write professional emails, showing effort and dedication to both big and small tasks are skills that can help anyone in the long term. I see it as a safe place to fail and learn and for the time being I genuinely enjoy it.

[@The_Dapper_Millennial]

What if you’re 31, no degree, and no idea what you want to do with your life?

[@infinitecurlie]

You start trying different things until something clicks. Trades, look up free lessons that you can probably find on KZbin of things you find even mildly interesting. (Yeah I know this doesn't help when you need $ to live so obviously you have the job that pays your bills lol). Or for me, it was to admit to myself that the job I wanted to do was one that wasn't going to make me loads of $ but deep down it's what I wanted to do because I put the practical above all else when I shouldn't have and so I wasted a lot of time and $ at school. Dr.K also has several helpful videos about this like "how to start to find purpose in your life." Plenty of other vids come up by searching "Healthygamergg I have no idea what to do in life." .

[@phillipkemal]

@@The_Dapper_Millennial this is what I was hoping to hear. I feel like Dr. K would recommend sit in front of and stare at a wall and self reflecting for hours

[@squallrulz20]

Imo, try things out. Its impossible to have any idea what you want to do if you have never done anything.

[@YerDa67]

Still young, but you have to be proactive.

[@cynthiabauer5763]

if you have no idea what you want to do then it's easy because you can give up trying to decide and just follow the money instead... which jobs/careers pay well that you can do well? You don't have to particularly like it, you just have to be good enough at it to be able to deliver above average results, and you'll succeed if you stick with it. When the money start coming in the money itself will make you like the work.

[@gabsradience1]

Omg truly. Notes taken, and feel so much better- empowered, and ready after listening into this video wow 🥹thank you Dr. K

[@annakey6125]

I have two jobs. One ive had for ten years. I started to hate my jobs when the new management started firing people who were trying but they made a couple of mistakes, before then I didn't mind my job, no hate and no love. I am a perfectionist so i dont make many mistakes, but it made me scared i could be next. Made me feel undervalued as an employee when long standing coworkers get fired. Then i got a second job. I have one coworker that makes it a bit stressful, he is nice and cool but disorganized and overwhelmed so i never know what I'm doing and he is always working which makes me feel like i should be helping him more so i dont feel good enough because I am unable to help him enough. But management is awesome so i dont hate it but i do want an at home job that makes enough so i can spend time with my daughter so im learning Python to start with. Happiness at a job for me is not what i do but good management and I'm not in constant fear of being let go for being bad, as well as being able to have a good work/life balance so i can spend time with my daughter and have hobbies.

[@lostinjasmint]

so... what if you just do NOT want to work? like, at all? and the answer for me is not even "do something that you like" because everything I like becomes a chore and a burden the second it turns into a responsibility, an expectation, whatever.

[@missy5473]

Omg, finally....someone finally addressed the cycle I find myself in, chronically, with regard to my career. Thank you!

[@DWbo-r7v]

Bold of him to assume people are getting hired so easily

[@jamiececilielange5249]

It varies from area to area and field to field. The video is trying to solve a problem some people have.

[@williecocks]

This is very true, there's 7 million jobs available in the us, but a good portion of them are only in 7 areas of the US, 3 of them being in California. There's also a layoff rate of 5.2million per year, so you kinda have to battle royale your way into a miserable minimum wage job.

[@Alex-js5lg]

Not enough glue, probably.

[@willhartz2853]

Literally starting a new job Monday. Quit 3 jobs in past year while in same mental cycle Dr.K depicts. Therapy and Dr.K have helped me turn my life around in the past 6 months. Video couldn’t have come at a better time. Thanks for the boost in confidence Dr.K.

[@St34mPunkPrivateer]

So what about a situation where you've been at the same place for 15 years , great everything but you know you need to make more money to survive in your area, and that is the only thing they wont give you. How do you make the jump from somewhere safe but depressing towards your actual aspirations. Pink Flyod's comfortably numb.

[@yngvarr6762]

The timing of this one is just... wow! I constantly find myself in such a cycle and now I'm very close to "I can't take this anymore" point. And yes, I lack engagement in my current job, I think it sucks. It has its good moments, but they're so short and far between.

[@MH-kj8zs]

Nah, just this one sentence gets whole topic closed. 8:38 - the economy sucks. In my case there are not many GOOD engineering jobs in my area. Jobs are really far away (good luck travelling around 3h daily or spending fortune on your car) or you have really low salary like only 200$ more than the lowest possible salary or you need to work with bunch of angry folks or you need to work in full focus without talking to anyone because "there is no time for anything - we need to get this done" (and it never ends) or you got into the workplace where your skills which you got from uni are fricking useless and you end up losing those skills and knowledge ("use it or lose it" as the saying goes). Yeah. In my country it is better to grab skill, certificates and experience and go abroad. Then come back with a big pile of cash and buy your house and back into your typical "frick this i hate this" job, but without being scared about future (because you have your own place). It sucks man.

[@Denarus2]

@@MH-kj8zs sounds like Brazil

[@mr.memface4122]

I can second that. Ukraine

[@celinedo9950]

Literally i’ve just looked for another part time job after my manager accused me being unacceptable of not behaving properly while he didn’t tell me what to do this evening 😅 . Your video is just right in time 🙌

[@AscendedMaster11111]

We're literally stuck in a video game, forced to work a boring job even though reality is an illusion

[@FaultyTwo]

I can see Dr.K's telepathy is developing along nicely. He always knows how I'm currently feeling!

[@dominicperez3777]

Because working sucks. You get paid 🐶💩wages compared to the income people need to live on, working a 9-5 job system where you may work menial tasks or do nothing at all where you can be wasting less time somewhere else or could do the job for less than 8 hours, a 9-5 system where it takes a toll on your physical and mental health, if you can't work remotely you have to pay to go to work either by commuting for public transportation, gas money, or tolling, and among other things.

[@airheadbomb]

That sounds abusive....but that too is a cycle that can be broken! Hopefully

[@ethanoverwatch407]

Something that I find helps me a lot with breaking out of cycles is what I call "meta thinking." It promotes self-awareness, encourages objective analysis, and facilitates goal setting and action planning. It goes like this: I feel unhappy in X. Why do I feel unhappy in X? Because X, Y, Z reasons. Are those reasons valid? Why are they valid or not? Write out "yes, here's why" and "no, here's why" to objectively weigh them. What is the conclusion I come to when weighing my reasons? What do I want and how do I get it? What route of action do I need to take to achieve this? So you start with a statement, then think about why. And why about why, until you reach a conclusion and route of action that is grounded in written reasoning.

[@Bald_Gojo123]

Always here when I need some guidance, thanks Dr. K and team!

[@TiuBramburel]

I think I got lucky... needed a job and became a cop, this offered me enough money and free time to study and now I`m on my way to become a psychotherapist. It`s not that it`s going to be easier in this new field ... but I like the adventure.

[@RatulMalaker-m7y]

I am thinking to get a job aaaaaand here is it

[@Madchris8828]

I seriously can't explain how much this channel has been a boon for me and understanding various issues in my life. Genuinely thank you guys (Dr K and team ) so much! 🙏

[@jadef1531]

I am surprised because I always thought I had either to force myself to study/work and feel burned out (motivated by fear of not living up to my potential) or do the strict minimum and accept a shitty job that I hate to not be too much involved and spare my energy with this feeling of guilt that comes with complacency. I never new these two were part of the same cycle

[@DragonTheButcher]

10:45 I used to be like this when I was younger and experience has taught me you’re right. Once I hunkered down and started to work a decent well paying job it felt completely different to my past experiences. I would apply for whatever I could get and I really did bend up hating those jobs. Now I’m doing much better and actually have hope that I can reach the life I want if I keep pushing forward

[@mingsalt94]

Thank you Dr. K, your video came at a right time as always. Always a gem to listen to your advice

[@sylviaopriessnig2514]

I am in the cycle of staying in the job instead of quitting ;-)... but working towards it ☺

[@coleblove2133]

I needed this more than you can imagine. The last 2 years ive been in this cycle, and im back into it again. My family supports me currently, but i feel so bad constantly. Sometimes i cant keep a job because my first day on the job i get super ill (vomiting for a week) and lose the job. (Probably my anxiety mixed with my cyclic vomiting syndrome🙃)

[@JoannaSelvan]

Hey I just wanted to tell you that during my time working as a people manager I had some of my new team members get ill or sick quite an often in the first few months of employment. Either colds, IBS and whatever else that can get worse in the period of stress. Whenever someone was honest with me about it or was straight with me from the get go about the condition I was happy to accommodate them if otherwise they were engaged with the role, team and communicated well. It is not a reflection of you as an employee that you have health issues. You just need to find employer who will be more understanding or job that is more flexible.

[@ajeesh3485]

if anyone reduced their desperation after watching this videos , could please explain how did you achieve that?

[@cables2677]

I just recently started a new job, I've been here for about a month and have done ZERO WORK AT ALL No training, i was just told to shadow people, but like no timeframe or instruction what so ever

[@Eventzz0]

Lucky

[@cables2677]

@Eventzz0 not even close...absolutely mind numbing sitting at a desk for 8 hours feeling guilty about doing nothing. But there's no work you're even allowed to do yet 😭

[@Eventzz0]

@@cables2677 fair enough but at least ur getting payed

[@LuluTheCorgi]

​@@cables2677why are you feeling guilty then Use the free time to meditate and use the money to find a job you like

[@xXx_Regulus_xXx]

​@@cables2677 if the higher ups won't allocate work that's on them not you. If they're comfortable paying you in that scenario let them. Work on your resume or something during that time or chat up coworkers, you'll probably find out some useful info that way

[@ceacaralex3994]

after experienced both bad jobs and good jobs. i found out that i m the issue.

[@amitojha9]

I don't know how to thank you. Great content! Worthy of revisiting again and again.

[@Rick40years]

It's difficult to put distance between people who don't apologize when you are married to them.

[@gragalakaisel1477]

Meanwhile me who can't find a job:

[@DavesChaoticBrain]

What I need to know is how to not fear changing a job! I've been at my job for 26 years next month and I basically do the same thing I did when I started. I need a better paying job but I don't want the increased responsability. Also, having done basically the same thing for 26 years, how do I make a resume that would appeal to a new employer?

[@VioletEmerald]

You find ways to play up every single little thing you did at this job and make the longevity an asset on the resume. If you really need to you learn a new skill in your spare time so it can be added to the resume, or volunteer at a new place on weekends so you have another person you can put down as a reference....

[@Geohhh]

Add some lies.

[@conreo]

The reason I don't like working is that my job is a bullshit job. We are in the richest era in history and we have to work 70 hours a week for what? To survive, while our work exhausts all the resources of the planet and endangers the future of the humanity and genocide of the animal kingdom. Humans account for 36%, livestock for 60%, and wild mammals for only 4% of the Earth's mammalian biomass. Yes ONLY 4% for 6500 spices of mammals, more than a million species in total have become extinct over the past two centuries. One thing is for sure if a creator god exists and if there is a final judgment humans as a species will go to hell. I am not sick, it is humanity that is sick, we should work 15 hours a week and live in harmony with nature and spend the rest of the time cultivating ourselves, doing collective activities.

[@ramireini]

I have had similar thoughts, and we must accept that "what should be" and "what is" are two different things. Instead of thinking about "what should be", I would think about how to live a good life, a life worth living. This non-perfect life we live is all we currently have, cultivate it to the best of your own abilities instead of mulling over perfections. I can't control others I can't control if or how the universe judges us I can control my actions, I will aspire to be the best I can be and live a life I can be proud of

[@Chris-ki2dx]

If you can move to the Netherlands, Scandinavia or Germany, you can work there 40-35 hours a week and survive just fine on a minimal wage, working a factory or warehouse job. Now, it still isn't "human flourishing", but hey, at least it's not freaking 70 hours a week.

[@SuzukiMiyo]

What a wonderful time to see this! I was contemplating on my career path and this popped up

[@FN5_tinyViolin]

Hey man I love you so much you've taught me that it's so easy to love myself and that has started a ripple effect as you say a healing I'm telling you it's changed some s*** anxiety has just been so manageable even invisible..... but there's some people out here who really don't have the resources to pay for memberships to get these right messages at the right time

[@xhotdog100]

In today's job market, you dont get to choose, you are lucky you can find a remotely decent one.

[@AM-rp8xn]

Thanks for this Dr. K. I had my first job out of grad school in doing a fellowship in my field. I loved that I was where I wanted to be, but I had been stuck in that cycle of survival for a while, and while i reached out for support I struggled to break out of that cycle and burned out unfortunately. Now, I'm at that turning point usually of desperation, but I definitely feel more equipped to understand that motivation and be clear about how i may feel like im working hard but maybe not in the right way. Is it uncomfortable? Absolutely. But I gotta break out of it.

[@adamm5107]

Slightly off-topic I think, but I've been working for ~6 years at a retail drugstore as a pharmacy technician and I've gotten sick and tired of this. Last year I graduated from pharmacy school. I'm thinking of changing a line of work to something that doesn't require interacting with dozens of patients on regular basis (being on the spectrum it's especially taxing on my mental health). Yet, I'm scared that it'll be too difficult to get a job somewhere else.

[@StoneSailsSculpture]

Just lost my job, and now I'm figuring out how to make my art successful enough to live off of.

[@Squiggly6942]

My ex decided only I was ever a problem and that she was perfect for our whole relationship. Sometimes you get unlucky and admitting your faults is used against you. She gaslit me into thinking I was a full blown narcissist, per her personal diagnosis. I believed her and let her decide everything for a while. Turns out it's pretty rare to be a full blown narcissist, but we all have those tendencies... She will never apologize. Makes me sad, but I'm trying to get past it. Desperate to, you might say... Edit - Even though my relationship wasn't very good, I had a lot of faith in it and I think that's the only reason she stuck around as long as she did. In some ways, I regret that. Maybe I need a balance. Faith in my next relationship, but some assurance through evidence that it is a potentially good relationship long term also. I don't want to be in a position where my faith in the relationship is the sole driver of staying together. Not ever again.

[@iamrjdennis]

The most scientific way of explaining, "just do what makes you happy"

[@DWbo-r7v]

But what makes you happy doesn't tend to make most people any money

[@drschwandi3687]

Great way to have money problems all your life.

[@annakey6125]

I do not know of any job that makes me happy. Taking care of my house and daughter and trying new hobbies makes me happy (like learning how to milk my goats). Yes I could sell goat milk products but I learned with raising pigs that I'm a terrible sales person and wound up losing money.

[@angelnokare6906]

I have been working in a factory for a little over 2 years now. Desperate to find a better job,better manager, better anything... I work on aCNC machine( that is the best job there(outside of office jobs which I cant get because I didnt finish my degree), but it still sucks. Saturdays, noise, dust, itch, and a lot of working on "not my work station", so worse tasks like applying glue... Uugh I dont (like to) drive a car, so jobs around me are very scarce, this big factory is very close tho... Probably why i am still here.. but desperate to leave...

[@angelnokare6906]

I also lack self worth. I constantly think how I have no skills and how no1 will give me a better job, so why even bother...

[@ograda3120]

Your systematic approach to solving (or approaching) these things is something incredible. Like with female bullying, therapy and men, and other videos, there's something so claryfing that I can't put my finger on. But I hope you never stop being systematic. An issue I have sometimes is how to reconcile claims like (paraphrase) "relationship bad because some or both parties expected it to be bad' with something like workplace bullying. Surely the person didn't "expect" that, and the mob would love to be the first to hear an apology from the victim. Is it fair to say that, instead, virtually no relationship will work out if it comes out of desperation, while those who come from something more positive _may_ work out; You can begin a positive relationship with a manipulator, too, and hopefully that won't last long, but it's not a self-fulfilling prophecy where someone just didn't positive their way into it. We can't positive our way of many things, while granted we can't _negative_ our way into _most_ / _all_ things. I hope this makes sense.

[@mestizo2842]

Thank You for this Video ❤ me with my Adhd this is helpful to be able to see a future and a cycle i can and Specialy an understanding for getting tired and not motivated by endless applying for a job.

[@Rafa-nq7vq]

This video showed up at recommendations at the right time, thank you.

[@simeongalda5988]

12:01 holy moly I am in a situation in my brain where I am receiving on my end negative energy from others, even though I don't have the best brain to handle such energy, I know that I am helping someone and they will appreciate it later in their lives. And that part in the video just reinsured me that I am on the right path, It's just such a perfect example of what I am going through right now, and now I am hearing Dr K saying- that's the way to help someone break the cycle even thought they are causing me a lot of pain. It's so lovely to hear someone who understands. (if anyone wonders, It's about me, trying to figure out a whole family full of BPD people, only I tried to figure out what the fuck is going on for 8 years. And now after 8 years of silence and healing, I am prepared to break other family member's cycles. There is more to that than that, but holy shit I had to really fucking do so much work with my brain and now trying to help other family members is insane. Thankfully Mom "decided" to go to therapy so that's one destroyed cycle. And I expect things to start to heal, and my sensitive brain hears that change is happening. Different volumes of sentences, different thinking, and just so nice when I hear tiny bits of change from others. I can say that I recognize a BPD person after a few sentences when they are speaking to me, believe me, I have more than just a BPD. The saddest part about this- is that you are the one who is healed, and others who are corrupted are trying to hurt you and convince you that you are the one doing damage, without them even noticing it. It's just so hard, and when you have nobody to get support from other than KZbin videos- it's even harder.) But I must say that I appreciate all the work that Dr K is doing, without him and his knowledge I would not be where I am right now, probably I wouldn't be here, but who knows. I started to take my mental health seriously after Reckful invited him on his stream long time ago. So thank you, and much love to you, beautiful souls, you need it

[@TrueDao8000]

Watching DR K's videos is like grasping air, you know there is something there but you just can't seem to get it.

[@matiasgaray470]

so what do we do about it?

[@nackedgrils9302]

Bro, how many weeds are you smoking? Dr. K is probably the self-help guru who's the easiest to understand.

[@chrisklugh]

I enjoy it when I see other content creators put the pieces together well enough to articulate what I've been thinking for some time. I know what your saying is true because I've experienced it over and over. Its really hard to break out of it when you can't see 'faith' in our economy. I remember opportunities were a dime a dozen, now its a dessert. How do I grow in a dessert? Well, I need to find someone that knows how. Where are they? (sure don't live in Canada)

[@Cwahsawnt]

At the very end you started actually getting to the commenters point, but then it abruptly ended. I understand the "bias" part was part of the answer before it, but it was 99% talking about bias, but then "if they constantly want you to work harder that's a problem" and that was it. I feel like this needed to be explored as equally as the "it could be your bias" side of this topic as well.

[@tkmeaney6410]

Been watching Doctor K's videos for a long time. And recently I've been pursuing a higher education in a field that my family do (medical) out of what feels like desperation. I have a job which I've worked for 8ish years (with great flexibility and job security- just not as much $) My father who encouraged me to pursue the medical field came in and told me once I began committing that he doesn't think I will enjoy the job I'm pursuing. And I know that he's right, I just felt good in knowing that I was leaving my currently area and feeling as though I was taking a step higher. But I've been asking the universe to tell me the truth of whether I am going in the right direction. This video was posted literally the same day that he told me this (yesterday). Of course I feel lost as ever now, but I think that if it was the career path I was meant to take I wouldn't feel lost at all. Love you Dr. K

[@abij4247]

Start of the video begins at 7:53