Humanity unleashed its most deadliest weapon: lawyers. 💀
@jerometruitt273110 ай бұрын
I was gonna say this. These stories are awesome 😂😂😂😂
@niyablake10 ай бұрын
This is a trifecta of lawyers , diplomats and politicians . They didn't stand a chance
@MacKnight10 ай бұрын
I bet they work for Nitendo.
@niyablake10 ай бұрын
@@MacKnight in 2119 , using Nintendo lawyers was declared a war crime
@MacKnight10 ай бұрын
@@niyablake 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@clonechoopa3110 ай бұрын
If a Japanese copyright lawyer had been present, I bet the Praax would have had to transfer half of their interstellar GDP as reparations as well 😂
@mitchnewara32299 ай бұрын
🤣🤣🤣💀💀💀
@PeachDragon_9 ай бұрын
If i was the human prime minister: "get Nintendo on the coms"
@mannydavis770810 ай бұрын
The 9.2 billion year old Praxx Conglomerate seems on the verge of bankruptcy, running out of resources. Probably wouldn't take too much to push them over the edge. If only there was some species around with traders skilled in financial skullduggery to give things a little push. . .
@michaelpettersson49199 ай бұрын
And a century humans owns the Praxx Conglomerate...
@TheSolidSnakeOil9 ай бұрын
Rules of Acquisition: #34 - War is good for business #35 - Peace is good for business
@foundationguard53159 ай бұрын
@@TheSolidSnakeOil business is boomin'
@KiithNaabal9 ай бұрын
The more terrifying problem in this particular universe is that there appears to be stakes on every resource already and exploitation is at a point there is no more resources to exploite. This means civilisations will soon collapse like coorparations.
@foundationguard53159 ай бұрын
@@KiithNaabal they have 2 choices, either collapse under their own weight or fight for what they desire. No in-between as everyone wants the same thing.
@johncunningham482010 ай бұрын
Fucking Lawyers . The most Evil Creature in Existence . But also INDISPENSIBLE . Well played Councilor .
@niyablake10 ай бұрын
Diplomats plus lawyers. Lawyers job is to fuck you over . Diplomat job is to make you enjoy it
@SpaceFics6 ай бұрын
the ultimate human weapon, bureaucracy
@elijahaitaok86246 ай бұрын
the classic human weapon: A Necessary Evil
@darkhorse13golfgaming10 ай бұрын
The entire Terran Military: "Oh, the mission got cancelled? Good."
@jsbrads19 ай бұрын
Except for the Marines.
@AnimeAmvStar9 ай бұрын
@@jsbrads1 Give them more crayons should calm them down for a bit
@kirilmitrev83919 ай бұрын
@@AnimeAmvStar bet they still will demand for at least one battle
@carlchapman40538 ай бұрын
@@AnimeAmvStar Until they finish eating them, then we all know how they get after the colour rush!
@Tonster_AKS10 ай бұрын
To win but never fight, that's the art of war.
@Shadow.Dragon10 ай бұрын
Great story! I bet the lawyer's fees are going to be worse than if the Praax had won. 😞
@ehsnils10 ай бұрын
The loser pays the lawyers.
@jamesmcgeever940510 ай бұрын
Hahaha
@wakcedout10 ай бұрын
Pretty sure the celebration they’d receive coming home to earth having won such a case for all humanity, would be enough. Not too mention they’d likely be set for life after that. Honestly, taking care of them for life and not losing earth, would be worth every penny. Coupled with the fact the secured earth for humanity without a single loss of human life.
@robinpage27309 ай бұрын
The Praax Conglomerate lost. They have to pay the human lawyers.
@ireallyreallyhategoogle8 ай бұрын
Nah, only 10% of earth's resources.
@rossdavies825010 ай бұрын
Nice little story. Refreshing to hear something that is extolling the proficiency of human lawyers and diplomats, rather than the usual jingoistic warrior tub thumping. Which, I have to say, I do like...
@ekhidna410 ай бұрын
Ah, the only warrior of humanity that is unleashed when all else fails. Lawyers.
@KinshinReaper9 ай бұрын
When all else fails, or when things go waay better than planned XD
@scotts9189 ай бұрын
Aliens: Earth is ours, it's worth 15 billion credits 👀 Humanity: Okay, that'll cost you 25 billion credits :)
@yomogami456110 ай бұрын
well that was different enjoyed the story and congratulations to the author for finding a unique manner of warfare
@waynecampeau456610 ай бұрын
They are just luck the humans did not send a couple of Tax Layers to the meeting. The Praxx could have lost over a third of their empire. :)
@DragoonZell10 ай бұрын
minimum
@damionnorby267810 ай бұрын
Now, that's how you fight a war...
@caelestigladii10 ай бұрын
Ironically, that’s the whole concept behind the UN. Sad it is powerless when it matters though.
@JoaoSoares-rs6ec10 ай бұрын
Never will humanity give up on sacred terra.
@GuukanKitsune9 ай бұрын
Just your reminder that, while at any time there are at least three wars of some description going on in the world being fought by armies... In the halls of diplomacy a hundred wars are fought and won every day, by a handful of people armed with nothing but words.
@Aabergm9 ай бұрын
This is the best kind of war. The one that starts and ends with paperwork.
@ashleycroydon97439 ай бұрын
There's a reason we humans detest and begrudgingly respect lawyers 😂
@rrahh878910 ай бұрын
The human lawyer is probably a native of the Washington Beltway area.
@jsbrads19 ай бұрын
Reminds of the Dust short where an alien race picked a lawyer to represent Earth in condemning all the water on the planet for their taking…
@despaney9 ай бұрын
Finding the little hidden clause cancelling the whole operation (the fact that the aliens could not be there in the required time if I recall correctly)
@jsbrads19 ай бұрын
@@despaney indeed, but it was done in a riveting way, but it was just two people talking in a room. I don’t know why it got me so good.
@despaney9 ай бұрын
@@jsbrads1 Yeah it was really well done, it placed us in the shoes of the lawyer with the unfairness of the situation and the urge to find a thing, anything, to not be the cause of the imminent disaster.
@jsbrads19 ай бұрын
@@despaney I wanted to trade the aliens Ceres and Titan for wormhole tech… more water there than all of earth.
@sleepingbackbone75818 ай бұрын
"Ah, arrogance and stupidity all in same package. How efficient of you."
@PitterPatter208 ай бұрын
I like this story. It's quite clever and a nice departure from the normal war stories in this genre. Well done to the author.
@deanlawson68808 ай бұрын
Wow! That was really really GOOD! Humanity's most devious and potent weapon *Lawyers*... Hahahaha!!!! I just love a good story that has an unexpected and interesting twist! Nicely Done - Thanks for this!!
@vanguard90679 ай бұрын
The Human’s Are Space Orc’s, um I mean Space Attorneys.
@queenbee804510 ай бұрын
If you see a human lawyer… run.
@soup83159 ай бұрын
a body language translator makes so much sense
@KSCPMark674210 ай бұрын
That was _different_. I liked it!
@stevenredpath93329 ай бұрын
The Praxx are no Vogons.
@Tome368 ай бұрын
42 is always the answer
@LuisManuelLealDias9 ай бұрын
Ok this was a really funny story. Kudos!
@Schenton10 ай бұрын
Very different but I liked it allot.
@DrFrankNStein-sf2wwАй бұрын
Always ask yourself: "What would Captain Picard do ?"
@alastairbrand499810 ай бұрын
Oh god. Humanity wins, but the future belongs to the lawyers.😮
@thisissparta169010 ай бұрын
I wish the author was know. . . well done!
@icepicjoey9 ай бұрын
Lawyers... the most vicious weapons ever created. 😂
@PaulStSmith8 ай бұрын
Nothing, but nothing whatsoever is scarier than a well trained lawyer. 😂😂😂
@RamonInNZ10 ай бұрын
Hehe Human are some of the4 most devious bastards in the universe!
@Le_Fenix9 ай бұрын
Fucking lawyers. The bane of everyone
@Tomo_TT9 ай бұрын
6mins of awesomeness
@samutraifin8 ай бұрын
"we are goin to war. arm the lawyers whit Interstellar law book"
@erikkennedy87258 ай бұрын
Figures our first interstellar war would be fought by lawyers...
@mileselmonroe10 ай бұрын
I love so much about this!
@rensfordbishop59998 ай бұрын
Thank you. Well enjoyed.
@PeachDragon_9 ай бұрын
I would've preferred turning the praax to past tense but a W is a W
@IceFiction4049 ай бұрын
Good story !!🤠
@pyeitme50810 ай бұрын
Interesting.
@DeMause9 ай бұрын
Personally I enjoy this kind of story much more than the "human war strongk" ones.
@StrangeTerror10 ай бұрын
That was beatuiful.
@damirserbanovic10 ай бұрын
LAW & Order in Space , subscribed for more :D
@ramonalejano6715 ай бұрын
Interesting. Amusing. Witty.
@markfergerson21459 ай бұрын
That’s great, but Earth is not the whole of Sol system. If the rest was also claimed, there will have to be another war for every planet, moon and asteroid in Sol system.
@martyschrader2 ай бұрын
...but not its last. Of that I am sure.
@tristanthealien32498 ай бұрын
Is there a continuation to this story, I like it
@DasHeino201010 ай бұрын
Interesting! ^^
@ANGRYWOLVERINE2060-ft2nc10 ай бұрын
well done.
@davidturner48249 ай бұрын
Good story.
@ElizabethRobertson-b4z7 ай бұрын
Too bad we can't do this on Earth.
@SpaceFics6 ай бұрын
I always hated the idea of gallactic wars, interstellar are another beast
@Mrcometo9 ай бұрын
Nice. This is Asimovesque
@lyromata10 ай бұрын
Brilliant…enjoyed it.
@jeffreyprice361410 ай бұрын
I believe this story to be incorrectly tagged #HFY and should instead be tagged #LFY
@proudamerican1839 ай бұрын
I'm guessing the L is for Lawyer?
@jeffreyprice36149 ай бұрын
@@proudamerican183 yes, and I happily admit that I am married to a lawyer :)
@proudamerican1839 ай бұрын
@@jeffreyprice3614 Cool.
@SageofStars9 ай бұрын
I mean, the reason this isn't done often is because it takes an interesting Council/Conclave/Galactic Alliance to make this sort of thing work. They have to be JUST the right kind of indifferent and non-malicious to make this sort of plot work, as they have to be sticklers for the rules, and have nothing against the smaller species disrupting things. So many of these stories have them lean one way or the other too much. The indifferent simply won't stop the other species until the war is started, and thus, humanity needs to stand on its own, even when the galactic community feels like they really should just submit to the forces that are simply stronger. Of course, the other way, and you wind up with the Galactic Community siding WITH humanity against this species, and they will not tolerate it, as this will force a conflict, and help uplift the humans because of it, likely giving them a future much like the Krogan, which is why we sympathize so much with the murdering dinosaurs. Still, when you get JUST the right mixture of these two, creating a lawful neutral galactic community, you create the kind of universe where it is the one who knows and understand all the rules in the book, who can be the big damn hero.
@thetinkerist9 ай бұрын
Hahaha, I like this story 😂 thx 😂
@johnmallari97424 ай бұрын
I dont know if the AI is out of breath or sleepy?
@thedavecorp9 ай бұрын
Neenur neenur.
@jdau2b10 ай бұрын
As it should be …..among civilized peoples
@jsbrads19 ай бұрын
I had a better resolution that would have been win-win. Humans have the full right to use matter within their solar system, and the Praxx can partner with humans on the exportation of products. Praxx will provide for all of the shipping and be entitled to the unimproved value of the matter. Humans are permitted to use the matter to create improved products for the matter and they are entitled to the difference in market price. A bottle of wine can be sold on the intergalactic market, the Praxx get a few cents per bottle sold after they ship it to market, the humans get the remainder of the market price less the difference in handling of fragile products and any brokering fees freely negotiated with the Praxx or any other race.