Humanity's First Interstellar War | HFY | A short Sci-Fi Story

[@ComradeNerd]

Humanity unleashed its most deadliest weapon: lawyers. 💀

[@jerometruitt2731]

I was gonna say this. These stories are awesome 😂😂😂😂

[@niyablake]

This is a trifecta of lawyers , diplomats and politicians . They didn't stand a chance

[@MacKnight]

I bet they work for Nitendo.

[@niyablake]

@@MacKnight in 2119 , using Nintendo lawyers was declared a war crime

[@MacKnight]

@@niyablake 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@clonechoopa31]

If a Japanese copyright lawyer had been present, I bet the Praax would have had to transfer half of their interstellar GDP as reparations as well 😂

[@mitchnewara3229]

🤣🤣🤣💀💀💀

[@PeachDragon_]

If i was the human prime minister: "get Nintendo on the coms"

[@johncunningham4820]

Fucking Lawyers . The most Evil Creature in Existence . But also INDISPENSIBLE . Well played Councilor .

[@niyablake]

Diplomats plus lawyers. Lawyers job is to fuck you over . Diplomat job is to make you enjoy it

[@SpaceFics]

the ultimate human weapon, bureaucracy

[@elijahaitaok8624]

the classic human weapon: A Necessary Evil

[@darkhorse13golfgaming]

The entire Terran Military: "Oh, the mission got cancelled? Good."

[@jsbrads1]

Except for the Marines.

[@AnimeAmvStar]

@@jsbrads1 Give them more crayons should calm them down for a bit

[@kirilmitrev8391]

@@AnimeAmvStar bet they still will demand for at least one battle

[@carlchapman4053]

@@AnimeAmvStar Until they finish eating them, then we all know how they get after the colour rush!

[@mannydavis7708]

The 9.2 billion year old Praxx Conglomerate seems on the verge of bankruptcy, running out of resources. Probably wouldn't take too much to push them over the edge. If only there was some species around with traders skilled in financial skullduggery to give things a little push. . .

[@michaelpettersson4919]

And a century humans owns the Praxx Conglomerate...

[@TheSolidSnakeOil]

Rules of Acquisition: #34 - War is good for business #35 - Peace is good for business

[@foundationguard5315]

​@@TheSolidSnakeOil business is boomin'

[@KiithNaabal]

The more terrifying problem in this particular universe is that there appears to be stakes on every resource already and exploitation is at a point there is no more resources to exploite. This means civilisations will soon collapse like coorparations.

[@foundationguard5315]

@@KiithNaabal they have 2 choices, either collapse under their own weight or fight for what they desire. No in-between as everyone wants the same thing.

[@Tonster_AKS]

To win but never fight, that's the art of war.

[@rossdavies8250]

Nice little story. Refreshing to hear something that is extolling the proficiency of human lawyers and diplomats, rather than the usual jingoistic warrior tub thumping. Which, I have to say, I do like...

[@Shadow.Dragon]

Great story! I bet the lawyer's fees are going to be worse than if the Praax had won. 😞

[@ehsnils]

The loser pays the lawyers.

[@jamesmcgeever9405]

Hahaha

[@wakcedout]

Pretty sure the celebration they’d receive coming home to earth having won such a case for all humanity, would be enough. Not too mention they’d likely be set for life after that. Honestly, taking care of them for life and not losing earth, would be worth every penny. Coupled with the fact the secured earth for humanity without a single loss of human life.

[@robinpage2730]

The Praax Conglomerate lost. They have to pay the human lawyers.

[@ireallyreallyhategoogle]

Nah, only 10% of earth's resources.

[@ekhidna4]

Ah, the only warrior of humanity that is unleashed when all else fails. Lawyers.

[@KinshinReaper]

When all else fails, or when things go waay better than planned XD

[@waynecampeau4566]

They are just luck the humans did not send a couple of Tax Layers to the meeting. The Praxx could have lost over a third of their empire. :)

[@DragoonZell]

minimum

[@yomogami4561]

well that was different enjoyed the story and congratulations to the author for finding a unique manner of warfare

[@scotts918]

Aliens: Earth is ours, it's worth 15 billion credits 👀 Humanity: Okay, that'll cost you 25 billion credits :)

[@damionnorby2678]

Now, that's how you fight a war...

[@caelestigladii]

Ironically, that’s the whole concept behind the UN. Sad it is powerless when it matters though.

[@JoaoSoares-rs6ec]

Never will humanity give up on sacred terra.

[@GuukanKitsune]

Just your reminder that, while at any time there are at least three wars of some description going on in the world being fought by armies... In the halls of diplomacy a hundred wars are fought and won every day, by a handful of people armed with nothing but words.

[@Aabergm]

This is the best kind of war. The one that starts and ends with paperwork.

[@ashleycroydon9743]

There's a reason we humans detest and begrudgingly respect lawyers 😂

[@rrahh8789]

The human lawyer is probably a native of the Washington Beltway area.

[@jsbrads1]

Reminds of the Dust short where an alien race picked a lawyer to represent Earth in condemning all the water on the planet for their taking…

[@despaney]

Finding the little hidden clause cancelling the whole operation (the fact that the aliens could not be there in the required time if I recall correctly)

[@jsbrads1]

@@despaney indeed, but it was done in a riveting way, but it was just two people talking in a room. I don’t know why it got me so good.

[@despaney]

@@jsbrads1 Yeah it was really well done, it placed us in the shoes of the lawyer with the unfairness of the situation and the urge to find a thing, anything, to not be the cause of the imminent disaster.

[@jsbrads1]

@@despaney I wanted to trade the aliens Ceres and Titan for wormhole tech… more water there than all of earth.

[@deanlawson6880]

Wow! That was really really GOOD! Humanity's most devious and potent weapon *Lawyers*... Hahahaha!!!! I just love a good story that has an unexpected and interesting twist! Nicely Done - Thanks for this!!

[@PitterPatter20]

I like this story. It's quite clever and a nice departure from the normal war stories in this genre. Well done to the author.

[@queenbee8045]

If you see a human lawyer… run.

[@stevenredpath9332]

The Praxx are no Vogons.

[@Tome36]

42 is always the answer

[@vanguard9067]

The Human’s Are Space Orc’s, um I mean Space Attorneys.

[@sleepingbackbone7581]

"Ah, arrogance and stupidity all in same package. How efficient of you."

[@KSCPMark6742]

That was _different_. I liked it!

[@soup8315]

a body language translator makes so much sense

[@LuisManuelLealDias]

Ok this was a really funny story. Kudos!

[@alastairbrand4998]

Oh god. Humanity wins, but the future belongs to the lawyers.😮

[@DrFrankNStein-sf2ww]

Always ask yourself: "What would Captain Picard do ?"

[@icepicjoey]

Lawyers... the most vicious weapons ever created. 😂

[@thisissparta1690]

I wish the author was know. . . well done!

[@Schenton]

Very different but I liked it allot.

[@samutraifin]

"we are goin to war. arm the lawyers whit Interstellar law book"

[@RamonInNZ]

Hehe Human are some of the4 most devious bastards in the universe!

[@PaulStSmith]

Nothing, but nothing whatsoever is scarier than a well trained lawyer. 😂😂😂

[@Tomo_TT]

6mins of awesomeness

[@IceFiction404]

Good story !!🤠

[@erikkennedy8725]

Figures our first interstellar war would be fought by lawyers...

[@Le_Fenix]

Fucking lawyers. The bane of everyone

[@rensfordbishop5999]

Thank you. Well enjoyed.

[@mileselmonroe]

I love so much about this!

[@ramonalejano671]

Interesting. Amusing. Witty.

[@PeachDragon_]

I would've preferred turning the praax to past tense but a W is a W

[@markfergerson2145]

That’s great, but Earth is not the whole of Sol system. If the rest was also claimed, there will have to be another war for every planet, moon and asteroid in Sol system.

[@pyeitme508]

Interesting.

[@lyromata]

Brilliant…enjoyed it.

[@martyschrader]

...but not its last. Of that I am sure.

[@DeMause]

Personally I enjoy this kind of story much more than the "human war strongk" ones.

[@damirserbanovic]

LAW & Order in Space , subscribed for more :D

[@StrangeTerror]

That was beatuiful.

[@tristanthealien3249]

Is there a continuation to this story, I like it

[@davidturner4824]

Good story.

[@SpaceFics]

I always hated the idea of gallactic wars, interstellar are another beast

[@ElizabethRobertson-b4z]

Too bad we can't do this on Earth.

[@DasHeino2010]

Interesting! ^^

[@ANGRYWOLVERINE2060-ft2nc]

well done.

[@thedavecorp]

Neenur neenur.

[@jeffreyprice3614]

I believe this story to be incorrectly tagged #HFY and should instead be tagged #LFY

[@proudamerican183]

I'm guessing the L is for Lawyer?

[@jeffreyprice3614]

@@proudamerican183 yes, and I happily admit that I am married to a lawyer :)

[@proudamerican183]

@@jeffreyprice3614 Cool.

[@SageofStars]

I mean, the reason this isn't done often is because it takes an interesting Council/Conclave/Galactic Alliance to make this sort of thing work. They have to be JUST the right kind of indifferent and non-malicious to make this sort of plot work, as they have to be sticklers for the rules, and have nothing against the smaller species disrupting things. So many of these stories have them lean one way or the other too much. The indifferent simply won't stop the other species until the war is started, and thus, humanity needs to stand on its own, even when the galactic community feels like they really should just submit to the forces that are simply stronger. Of course, the other way, and you wind up with the Galactic Community siding WITH humanity against this species, and they will not tolerate it, as this will force a conflict, and help uplift the humans because of it, likely giving them a future much like the Krogan, which is why we sympathize so much with the murdering dinosaurs. Still, when you get JUST the right mixture of these two, creating a lawful neutral galactic community, you create the kind of universe where it is the one who knows and understand all the rules in the book, who can be the big damn hero.

[@Mrcometo]

Nice. This is Asimovesque

[@thetinkerist]

Hahaha, I like this story 😂 thx 😂

[@jdau2b]

As it should be …..among civilized peoples

[@johnmallari9742]

I dont know if the AI is out of breath or sleepy?

[@jsbrads1]

I had a better resolution that would have been win-win. Humans have the full right to use matter within their solar system, and the Praxx can partner with humans on the exportation of products. Praxx will provide for all of the shipping and be entitled to the unimproved value of the matter. Humans are permitted to use the matter to create improved products for the matter and they are entitled to the difference in market price. A bottle of wine can be sold on the intergalactic market, the Praxx get a few cents per bottle sold after they ship it to market, the humans get the remainder of the market price less the difference in handling of fragile products and any brokering fees freely negotiated with the Praxx or any other race.

[@damirserbanovic]

LAW & Order in Space , subscribed for more :D