Husband Accuses Me Of Being A Downer During Celebration And Plays Down Cancer Scare r/AITA

[@KCohere33]

I feel so bad for the OP who might have cancer. Her husband is a monster and she has to deal with that and his betrayal. Good on that girl for reaching out so that she at least knows the truth about that POS.

[@flaminhotyoshi7403]

He‘s a verifiable sociopath.

[@robertx8020]

Even before this it was a clear 'not the AH' but after this I hope that all of his friends dump him! Tbh I feel sorry for OP as this might mean that she will never trust a partner again The impact is extreme at a moment that she NEEDS support

[@Fingerscrossedout]

@@flaminhotyoshi7403 narcists and sociopaths are famous for leaving you when you get sick...

[@Mistfall254]

I came up with my own saying son of a viper. It means people can manipulate you as long as you allow it or are unawares.

[@robertx8020]

@@Mistfall254 most of the times, yes

[@Emily-ck9ji]

... holy shit. The first story is insane. That man is vile. Thank god his affair partner exposed that husband's lies, because OP will be better off without him. It must be excruciatingly painful, but he's dead weight and the other woman clearly didn't know what was actually going on. She came forward the second she learned the truth. I'm glad she was able to recognize the story.

[@robertx8020]

Let's hope he'll be homeless w/o friends ...to harsh? don't think so ;)

[@MovableNu]

I have this image in my head of OP & Other Woman both in the lawyer's office with receipts & screenshots & pictures & timelines. Then the lawyer just grinning like a shark 🦈 🤣

[@robertx8020]

@@MovableNu lol :)

[@aayhanjurir8590]

Honestly this guy sounds like a straight up sociopath. Having no emotions of remorse or even the defensive i-know-i'm-wrong- but-can't-admit-it reaction and starting and ending relationships based on whim and convenience. Even most shitty ppl will try to justify themselves in these situations but he just doesn't care enough to.

[@Rogue-bt4wp]

​@@robertx8020 nope not harsh enough lol

[@katsmenagerie106]

"I only outed them to kids so it's okay." Ah yes. We all know children are the best, most tactful secret keepers.

[@brigidtheirish]

I mean, I get that OP hadn't even considered the possibility that her sister hadn't told the kids about her transition and how keeping this secret could cause trust issues in the future. (I mean, did the sister think the kids would never see old photos of her as a kid?) But that isn't OP's call to make and, like you said, kids are *horrible* at keeping secrets.

[@untiedshoelaces2588]

Well, the only positive that came out of this situation is the knowledge that the sister is a narcissist.

[@JadeAkelaONeal]

It's so bananas because she could've just said "no she's always been a girl she just looked more androgynous when we were kids!" And it would've literally been true.

[@Artemis_-yy1nt]

​@@JadeAkelaONealYes, or if she didn't think of that so fast, a simple deflecting of "ask your parents" would've been fine. Like with every question you shouldn't explain to a kid that isn't yours. The "ask your parents" is a good, safe, option.

[@Oshidorinohina]

first story: if OP is the financial breadwinner she should just kick husband out and cut him off, get a lawyer asap and make sure he gets nothing.

[@BruinPhD2009]

Exactly. Cheating is bad enough, but cheating on the potentially sick spouse who's financially supporting you? Not just any ass, but a stupid ass.

[@audreym3908]

@@BruinPhD2009 I really want to see and hear her lawyer grinning and laughing that they'll win the divorce since she's been the breadwinner and (hopefully not) have cancer and that he's been cheating on her and that she's been giving him things and doing things for him for years while he was in school. He fucked himself.

[@odysseus2656]

I would guess that she can sue for half his salary when he starts his career, they may call it alimony, but it would be her share of his degree that she paid for.

[@MSKPELLEGRINO]

Stall until he gets a job and then sue for alimony. She earned it.

[@a.munroe]

I hope she can sue for the amount she spent on his upkeep during his program.

[@SMey54]

Story 1: I recommend a spouse-ectomy. Don’t give him the fishing trip, go on it yourself.

[@audreym3908]

or sell it to someone else

[@nobodynowhere3322]

Or treat a favorite friend or relative who likes fishing.

[@sailorstar3148]

Op needs to throw the whole man away

[@judev3197]

Or take him on the trip & lose him out at sea. Instant widow, lots of sympathy points & no pesky divorce. And who knows, maybe a hunky cop or searcher for comfort. Win/win.

[@Russman67]

Story 1: We didn't even have to go much past that "Downer" comment to see the husband was shit. My wife is dealing with a medical situation and I'm there. Catch you for drinks later. For him to be having flings in college and planning his exit is just the icing on the shit cake.

[@RosesCookiesAndMilk]

Story 4: YTA I hate people who are so privileged they don’t realise people live pay-check to pay-check. What if the employee couldn’t eat for those two days because the check is late. I wouldn’t be surprised if the employee chose to sue for wrongful termination.

[@soulechelon2643]

Wouldn't be wrongful termination, because while the OP said the final nail was her blatant disrespect, the actual nail was her breaking her contractual obligation to do her work, be there on time, and adhere to the dress code. Couple that with other issues like not doing the job correctly, and you got yourself a valid termination. I do feel compassion for her and it sucks it ended this way. But she ended up digging her own grave here sadly.

[@CocoCece08]

That's her own damn fault. I had late paychecks before (nothing this severe). I didn't die.

[@CocoCece08]

@@soulechelon2643 And in some states, (NC being one of them) it's an at will state. The girl could be fired for ANY reason. Being late and not adhering to the uniform were two strikes on her.

[@gerble36]

@@CocoCece08 Doesn't matter whose damn fault it is. It doesn't matter if you had late paychecks before. I don't hear your name in the story, so that is completely irrelevant. Employer is required to pay you on time. Payments like rent or car payments may be due shortly after payday. Big payments you may not necessarily have money lying around for. Sure, you can say she should have savings for emergencies like this. But you don't know her situation. Maybe she did, but had a medical emergency in her family that depleted it. Or maybe car repairs or some other recent event that ate away those funds. Fact of the matter, is we don't know. So whether she should have savings is irrelevant too. End of the day, employer is supposed to pay on time. Employer didn't. Those are facts we do know. And they are far more damning.

[@RosesCookiesAndMilk]

@@CocoCece08 well you weren’t living pay check to pay check

[@judyjohnson9610]

I heard the original story 1 a couple of days ago, then saw there was an update. This is one of those stories where you just want to reach and slap someone stupid. Not only was that man using her but barely remembered to ask about the biopsy

[@pansprayers]

My husband screamed 'You need a biopsy of the lump, and chemo for the malignant spouse - if you need a shoulder, we're all here for you'.

[@janicewilcox8590]

"we didn't pay her on time" "she showed up late" - she didn't have gas money "She was out of uniform" - no money for laundromat "She had a bad attitude" - she ain't got money for food or rent or car insurance, wth did you expect to happen?

[@GreenKnight1982]

If the owner had to leave his dying father to take care of the employees then the employee would be expected to leave their dying father to take care of their job

[@trainerlesseevee478]

"How is she supposed to pay for a FUCKIN' Uber when she's got no MONEY?!" I can't stop giggling at that XD

[@moonlightwolf]

Can we make that into merch lol

[@colorcutie97]

Yes!! I was looking for this comment specifically because of that line. Exactly how absolutely moronic this sounds. I truly hope OP looks back at their post and realizes why they are in fact a huge asshole

[@AndyyWithAY]

LOL WTF!! He told his school friends he was getting a divorce and is having an affair?? This is why I'll never ever support a man financially. Shit like this happens way too much use you for money and cheat

[@RokoFireFox]

I will NEVER for get the guy who told me "Ya know, I don't care what the CIA says about you guys. You aren't all the bad." Before grabbing his stuff and leaving. I don't know what race that guy thought I was. I still have so so many questions left unanswered after these 2 years. I am half black and half white, a lot of times I get confused for native or latino. But that guy left the most confused of all time.

[@andredunbar3773]

If I had to guess, he probably thought you were Middle Eastern. Sorry your had to deal with that.

[@RokoFireFox]

@@andredunbar3773 probably. I just can't get over that he said that.

[@musicallydisneyamvs6731]

Story 1.) Honestly if I were the women who contacted OP, I’d get revenge myself for this, by showing everyone in that class & teachers the truth, ruining his self image. Even try to keep tabs after graduation & make life hard for him. No escape buddy.

[@RespectableRick]

Ughhh the one about the trans sister really made me mad. "Outing means nothing to them because you can teach them empathy and understanding. There's nothing to be afraid of, being outed to a kid." When OP said that I just immediately *knew* how sheltered they must have been or how unbelievably detached from the real world they would have had to be to say that. Kids are some of the most cruel people and that's just a fact. When my friend who was a trans man came out he was harassed, bullied, called slurs, and someone even threw cereal on him during lunch. All of this was done by, can you guess? Kids. I don't know if they've never been bullied before or something but I have no idea what life you would have to live to really think that's true and unironically write that statement. I hope that sister is doing ok now and I hope OP never tries anything like that again.

[@darkshadow5581]

I agree that comment makes OP the AH, its effectively "sorry, not sorry". Despite that I am confused. Presumably if OP has had this picture up for likely years, while having the kids over, I'd of expected the mom to bring it up first, either to ask to lie or to tell them the truth.

[@SkyEcho751]

I believe narcissism is considered 'reverting to a child like state', so basically when considering what harm a kid 'could' do, think of what a little narcissist might say and you get what the issue is. And I'm willing to bet with that comment of 'Your never sorry" OP herself might be a little bit of a narcissist. Though I'm also not sure how OP was supposed to avoid that question when they got asked.

[@tiryaclearsong421]

@@SkyEcho751 I think that's one of the reasons children can't be diagnosed with NPD. As little humans mature they would ideally develop increasing levels of understanding that others exist, are different from themselves, and learn to have empathy even when they can't fully understand.

[@Digitalfairy]

And the cold, deliberately cruel adults are no better either.

[@AngelaVEdwards]

The sister could easily have said the kids' mom "always was a tomboy" when she was a kid and did sometimes look like a boy. That actually wouldn't have really been a lie and would have prevented her from "outing" the sister. I agree she was wrong to do this.

[@MsUnamusedNerd]

STORY 2: NTA, there are so many people there so quick to play the “I’m being discriminated against“ card on white passing POC. I can’t tell you how many Times a mixed Asian was being accused of cultural appropriation because they were speaking their ancestral language. Mostly by white people with white savior complex, even go as far as accusing a mixed Japanese girl of “black face“ because she was white passing speaking Japanese….when that makes no damn sense. People like that need to be called out on their ignorance especially when I act like a Karen and using the discrimination card as a means to get their way or some type of compensation for their inconvenience.

[@desireeloveros1055]

Fr I’m white and working in a liquor store. According to one of my coworkers this guy was recording how we’re such a racist liquor store because all the ‘black drinks’?(what?) are behind the register. I get so many issues cuz I need to see EVERYONE’S id and it’s just ridiculous. I work in a college town AND its fair because I do it to EVERYONE. Like it takes 20 seconds

[@robertx8020]

@@desireeloveros1055 so you keeps 'blacks' locked up? And ppl have to pay to 'set them free' and take them home? You're such a racist ;)

[@brigidtheirish]

Excuse me, but how the hell is *speaking a different language cultural appropriation?*

[@robertx8020]

@@brigidtheirish it isn't ;) but ppl like to complain :P

[@babyfaceweeb8937]

@@robertx8020 literally no one ever complained about it unless they were a troll.

[@Tyanna01]

Story 3: OP is 100% the AH and also is lying to herself. As soon as the child said "she looked like a boy" you KNEW they didn't know. That should have been a "She did didn't she? But she was a girl. You can ask her more about it ok?" OP might have a trans sister, but honestly has NO IDEA about trans identity. Hell, that was one of the first question I asked my trans friend; 'what gender do a refer to you when talking about the past before you transitioned?' Their current gender, b/c that is the gender they have always identified with. Also the line that 'kids are pure' is such total bullshit. You know what else kids are? Open books that just say what's on their mind. Regardless of the age of the kids 'my mom used to be a boy' is something that they will say. Maybe only to their friends. Maybe to their teacher. Maybe at their friend's house to their parents. Maybe at the supermarket to a total stranger. If it's on their mind, they will say it. So OP didn't just out her sister to her kids, she's potentially outed her sister to everyone in their kids lives. It was NOT OP's place to have that conversation. It was NOT OP's place to chastise her sister for not telling her kids that information. Why is it important? Who else has OP outed her sister to? You know, other than the whole internet by way of this post.... But like, coworkers? Friends? Like....OP doesn't seem to think this is a big deal at all. But, it still isn't fully safe for trans people in the world. A lot of misconceptions. A lot of hate. A lot of scary shit. Keeping that secret until the kids are adults might have been the safest thing honestly. I just can't get over how self centred and unapologetic OP is over this matter that has NOTHING TO DO WITH THEM. And the fact that OP's sister said "you're never sorry about anything" tells me this isn't the first time OP felt she knew better and crossed a major line. Honestly, this is cut contact worthy.

[@FoxExcess]

How can you say it has nothing to do with them. If you aren't willing to be honest with your children then don't adopt in the first place. Acting ashamed of who you are and hiding it from those closest to you is not how trans people gain acceptance in society. Just like parents who hide the truth about adoption are wrong (they argue the exact same thing, it's not their business and who cares because nothing else matters except my love for the kid, except it does matter. And hiding these things ends up traumatizing the kid. Not because adoption or being gay/trans are bad things, it's the hiding it which implies it's bad that causes the problem) You say trans people need to be worried about violence...except when you actually look at the numbers for this (just for actually being trans) it's astronomically low in first world countries. You're literally more likely to encounter a violent trans person than you are to encounter violence against one. Unless OP is living in Pakistan this is not a valid defense to never tell your own children the truth. Most murdered trans people were not murdered because they were trans anyways. It's actually extremely hard to find cases of that. A "passing" trans woman is at more statistical risk than those who don't pass because people are more likely to target those that they think are biological women for violence than trans people. Many of the times a trans person is murdered it's because the man was seeking out a woman to commit violence towards, not a trans woman. They just got caught up in the crossfire. If the guy knew they were biologically male they would never have picked them up in the first place. None of this matters anyways because telling her children is not going to result in them wanting her dead anyways, the whole conversation is ridiculous. What was she planning to do when her daughter asks her what her first period was like? Make up some BS story about that as well? Where's the line for you here exactly? Maybe I'm biased because I won't even lie to my children about santa claus. Not being honest (which includes giving someone one impression when that's not the case and not directly lying) is something I will never do to my child. Would you not agree that not disclosing to your girlfriend that you've had a vasectomy is wrong? You can argue all day that it's your body and your business, but at the end of the day you do have a moral obligation to tell her because relationships are built on honesty. And if you don't plan on having that then don't have a partner you feel you have to lie to, and don't adopt children you feel you have to lie to. Simple. Doing otherwise means you are doing so for selfish reasons other than your partners/children's best interest.

[@mirandanils5114]

Hopefully Mark and Poppy are doing great as well as anyone who reads this 💕 Story 1: the way my man would’ve cancelled the celebration so fast if this happened to me, and vice versa. I hope OP is okay and the husband learns or OP finds someone better!!

[@audreym3908]

same

[@pansprayers]

Mine has cancelled so many things for my health issues despite my insisting he carry on, because that's what partners do. My husband was PISSED when he hear this one.

[@jamiewulfyr4607]

What kind of a callous fool treats his partner in this way? If mAh beautiful lady was facing something like that she would be my sole focus.

[@connienelson1515]

Mark, the first thought in my head was same as yours. No money, no Uber! No bus or taxi. Glad she's out of there.

[@indianspartan76]

Story 4: YTA. You better hope the Department of labor doesn't come after you. If you don't pay your employees on time, the Department of labor is very punitive. Your owner's personal life is none of her problem Source: I'm an accountant that works closely with the payroll department

[@MaryTheresa1986]

I agree. If I were the girl, I would've refused to work until my check cleared. It's not her fault the owner's father is dying. If you can't separate your personal life from your professional life, you have *no* business being a business owner.

[@brigidtheirish]

That's not something OP could do anything about, though. And it sounds like the girl kept calling *repeated* over the weekend when nothing much could've been done about the check, anyway. Which is harassment. Edit: Oh. Details on *why* the employee was late and out of uniform. Oooohhhh. Yeah. YTA.

[@HighPhoenix1754]

Story 1: Holy Cow.. this is.. wow. NTA. I wish the best for OP. This is a absolute banger.

[@justozzy5559]

That update to the first story broke my damn heart. He's just using her and it's absolutely disgusting. Her whole life has been turned upside down in more than one way and I feel so bad for her. I hope she'll be okay

[@Bonaduece]

Story 3: As a cis woman who looks like a boy in some of my old childhood photos--and still gets mistaken for a dude fairly often as an adult--I think it's pretty telling that the response to "she looks like a boy in that picture" wasn't "haha, yeah, photos can be deceiving like that." It makes me really side-eye the claim that the outing was accidental. Like, why would OP need to explain it if OP thought they already knew? Telling them their mom used to be a boy also makes me question the claim that OP doesn't think of her sister as trans. Granted, I might be the ignorant one here, but I think of my trans friends as having always been who they are, regardless of what their birth certificates might say.

[@mercyjokes2d696]

Exactly. I was considered now as gender fluid before it had a name. Even my own child didn't recognise me asking from the camcorder footage "Whose that boy in the cool clothes?" All OP had to do was to say to say something nice and to ask their Mum.

[@FoxExcess]

You didn't grow up with your trans friends and see them naked multiple times throughout your life before they transitioned. *Telling them their mom used to be a boy also makes me question the claim that OP doesn't think of her sister as trans.* Well that statement makes me question if you truly understand what being trans is. OPs sister was a boy, and is now a man living as a woman. Is there something wrong with this? Should trans people be made to feel ashamed about who they were born as and act like it should just be forgotten despite that being the literal definition of trans? Read your statement back to yourself, because you've literally just said that understanding the definition of trans means you can't think of someone as trans. You can't just erase biology, and frankly lying to your children about anything for years and years is going to result in some negative consequences. To what degree depends on the child and the situation, but nothing good ever happens from it I can assure you. At least they found out when they were young instead of when they were in middle school. Because it doesn't matter what the lie is, take being adopted for example. The best time to tell the child is right away, as soon as they are learning everything else. Hiding it for years gives the impression there is something wrong with it. The same thing goes for gay/trans parents. Just tell your kids, there's nothing to be ashamed of whatsoever. Funny enough, it sounds like it's the sister who is the one who doesn't see herself as a real woman. No trans friend of mine would ever consider lying to their own bloody children about themselves. They aren't embarrassed of who they are or who they were born as. Accepting and talking about reality does not invalidate trans people, hence all the millions of trans people doing so and having no issue talking about their upbringing.

[@bonnie.f]

I don't know if I am emblematic of most people with trans siblings or not, but I don't view my trans brother as someone who was a woman and is now a man. He's who he always was. Now everyone can see that person.

[@emilybarclay8831]

@@bonnie.f your bro is a man who was forced to pretend to be a woman for the first X years of his life. Now he’s who he _actually_ was all along. You put it beautifully

[@clownrat5759]

@@FoxExcess yikes you really outed yourself as a transphobe there huh buddy

[@AllistorMichelle]

story 3: yta i understand you didn't know your sister wasn't out to the kids but you really shouldn't have said anything. the words "ask your mother" would have been appropriate. op's sister wasn't 'lying' to the kids. it's her choice to no tell them. as it was \ is a medical related thing. she wasn't dishonest. the kids didn't NEED to know her past.

[@FoxExcess]

It isn't a medical thing, it's literally who she is. And yes she is lying to them because anytime they ask her about her childhood etc what do you think she's telling them. Obviously not the truth if OP was the first one to tell them. I mean how long did she really think she was going to be able to keep this up for? What's next, giving her daughter period advice and lying to her about her own childhood experiences with it? People who do this kind of thing with children NEVER think about the long term and only think about how it makes them feel short term. BE HONEST WITH YOUR CHILDREN ABOUT EVERYTHING. Don't even lie to them about santa claus.

[@shadamyandsonamylover]

@@FoxExcess I agree with this. I grew up with Santa and I wholeheartedly believe we wouldn’t lie to kids and tell him he is real. That doesnt mean we can’t still have Santa around for the holidays, it just means everyone has an understanding that it’s a fairytale. Dishonesty is never okay.

[@toothless3835]

Kids do need to know the past, especially if they ask. But OP didn't know the kids didn't know. That automatically makes them NTA. If you don't want someone to know something about you, then you have to tell the people who know who you haven't told yet when it's in the family like that. She says she's got her picture up on the wall, an old picture, and never once asked her to take it down. So the sister should've said something. It's not OP's job to know she hadn't told her children.

[@bloonh8tr619]

My mom had a cancer scare around 4 years ago. She got a call that they found a mass in one of her ovaries and they were worried it was cancerous. She was a mess and the earliest surgery was in January, she got the call on 12/12/17. She was worried that she would leave us and not get to see my brother and sister graduate from high school and me from college. Fortunately it was non cancerous and we are grateful everyday. Life is delicate. Fuck that husband for lacking basic sympathy and empathy. ETA HOLY FING SHIT! That update just pisses me off! Non-sympathetic, cheater, lying, sociopathic bastard!

[@ginathecookie]

That date made me do a double take bc its my bday date and not a date I see listed in things much I am glad It wasn't cancer but am so sorry you all had to be put through that, your mother especially

[@zoe9190]

Not surprised about the affair update, removal of affection is a massive indicator

[@buffysheffield1328]

Your singing is the highlight of my day! No apology needed. Keep being you, without apology. Much love!

[@badkitty4922]

I LOVE how he sings it, too! Lol. It's just too cute.

[@jessicapalmer3455]

Agreed!! Mark rocks!

[@Darth_Nycta_13]

Story 1 NTA THAT isn't a husband that's an abuser slowly showing his true self. Oh and narcissistic cheater too. OP you deserve so much better. Edit: props to the woman who husband had an affair with. She realised that she'd been manipulated and actually had the empathy and decency to tell OP the truth.

[@mariem8705]

S1: Well fudge buckets… that’s just awful. S2: honestly, smh. Crying wolf will bite you in the petunia.

[@Autumn4779]

Where is that quote from the wolf one never heard of that before

[@honeybunny244]

@@Autumn4779 it’s not a quote but a story called “The boy who cried wolf”

[@Autumn4779]

@@honeybunny244 Ah okay

[@brigidtheirish]

S2: OP is *awesome.* This is one of my favorite types of stories.

[@EliKat94]

“My sister started transitioning in high school so I don’t think of her as trans” Wtf absolutely yta. It wasn’t her secret to tell

[@owl7072]

Story 1: "Babe I know you're literally terrified of dying, especially since you've had family members die young for the exact same reason, but you're RuInIng my PaRtY!!!1!!!"

[@kayemckeeth2301]

And I thought I was having a bad day. Then story one. Hope she is okay :(

[@donnamichelerichey2878]

That husband who said his wife is a downer is a narcissist and sociopath.

[@axisdoesart4721]

I hope she takes everything from him and makes him a social pariah as he deserves. Screw him!

[@audreym3908]

Don't forget a grade A debag cheater that lies and uses people just because.

[@susankaempfer8427]

And a liar and a cheater, as it turns out, which is why he tried to make her feel so bad so she never came to another gathering.

[@tamsel814]

The last story. I you don't pay your employees (on time) then don't expect them to work.

[@Captain.Basketcase]

I've always worked in call centres, and one thing that made me cry in my first few months on the phones was when a customer demanded to speak with my manager was a guy who had a stutter and accused me of mocking him. I have a bit of a speach impediment and sometimes i stutter and lisp when I'm talking. I would never be so cruel to mock someone like that. My manager clearly knew of my issues and tore into the customer demanding the customer apologise to me for assuming that instead of having similar issues he has that i was mocking him. He felt bad about yelling at me. Which was a good thing in the end i guess

[@shawnesmith5364]

For story one: I would get a lawyer, save all the evidence and Mabey as the fling to be a witness, so all his friends/ family switch everything over, kick him or get a new apartment.

[@chazakachazzta6044]

Figured he was gaslighting and having an affair. Dump him. Make him pay back and see this as a blessing. Go on the diving trio and divorce him and take him for everything he is worth.

[@1978honore]

Um Mark I hope you see this or someone else said it and you saw that…. Story 4: YTA you were spot on with everything you said, employee should have been paid on her pay day by any means necessary, but you over estimated the US again and here’s why: Not all business accounts are eligible to use the direct deposit system. Source - former Business Account Manager at a regional bank

[@Flakey101]

Wow that seems so backwards. I have been paid directly into my bank account for the last 30 years. In businesses ranging from many thousands, right down to only 10 people. I have not even recieved a check for any reason in the last 25 years.

[@1978honore]

@@Flakey101 It depends on the bank, length of business life, business credit, business size, how business was setup/registered, and sometimes owner's credit.

[@sylvestercat1898]

Next up on Judge Judy: Business refused to pay employee on time because the owner wasn’t able to. Said employee was later fired because she was complaining about not receiving her paycheck.

[@Cell287]

She wasn’t fired over that, she was out of uniform and late for work. She’d lose that case in a heartbeat.

[@GreenKnight1982]

In an at-will state you can be fired for anything that isn't protected such as sex age and disability.

[@chits28]

3- Instead of saying 'she was a boy', OP could have said that's how she looked like back in the day and let it go at that.

[@ohno8398]

'So I don't really think of her as trans' And it all went downhill from there 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

[@micahpatchen1538]

Story 1: can we tie up the husband and maybe get a master Chinese Ping Pong Champion to give the husband the DEATH OF A THOUSAND (*whispered* ping pong) BALLS!!!!! We could sell tickets to get the OP a lawyer :D That's God's work right there!

[@bunnyslippers191]

Sign me up!

[@andredunbar3773]

Is this a reference to balls of fury?

[@micahpatchen1538]

@@andredunbar3773 I had to Google balls of fury, I've never seen it, but that's pretty close to what I was thinking. Bruce Lee's One Inch Punch, but with multiple ping pong balls

[@andredunbar3773]

@@micahpatchen1538 Honestly, I barely remember anything from that movie, so I thought it maybe it was a reference

[@micahpatchen1538]

@@andredunbar3773 maybe I've seen it when I was drunk and don't remember, that's a big possibility 🤔 🤣

[@bethanntay]

I was accused of being racist against a black man when I worked for subway. I just walked in and was in training. They started recording me and calling me racist because the Spanish woman was fighting with them before I walked in. We called the police because they wouldn't leave. That just made me even more racist...

[@Cell287]

Ah, the race card. Used to often by some. My Gf was called racist for doing her job. She did nothing wrong, she works in retail

[@FoxExcess]

...so you are racist..?

[@ginathecookie]

@@FoxExcess No, they meant they walked in, as a trainee, to where the other workers were and, likely, because of the uniformed face their wrath Said wrath happens for many, regardless of race and gender.

[@maggpiprime954]

Story 3: YTA. Omigod. 1st: Sister was never a boy, that's the point of why she transitioned. 2nd: "Well Sweetie, that's something you should talk about with your Mummy, not me, ok? Now. Who's hungry?" Story 4: YTA. Every place I've worked, big or small, knew how to issue emergency cash payroll with mutually signed receipts and do the extra work to make sure it's all correct in the actual accounts & paperwork afterwards. This woman can sue for wrongful dismissal. But she's probably working hand-to-mouth & can't afford it.

[@FoxExcess]

*Sister was never a boy, that's the point of why she transitioned.* No she literally was hence why she transitioned.

[@Suilimani]

The one about the late check ugh when you live paycheck to paycheck a late paycheck can be devastating. Even if it’s only by 2 days. People don’t work for free pay them at the agreed upon date. And get direct deposit set up

[@TNTMAN360]

My car's in the shop and I'm probably going to need a new battery but Mark's videos make everyday better

[@katiesmith2031]

Yes he always has a way of lifting your spirits

[@juliesrensen7887]

Last story: it sounds like the employee May have had a bad history with incompetent bosses who have dishes her the “you’ll get your money soon” only for it to NEVER come. She learned her lesson, you get your money no matter what. As the saying goes “you pay with peanuts, you gets a monkeys worth of work”. In this case, you late with pay, im late with work.

[@Cell287]

But it’s revealed she was constantly tardy.

[@itz_koki]

The first story: What. The. F-ck.

[@puli_dreadhead]

I was training this 50+ white dude at self checkout and was told in advance that their was a potential ticket switcher coming my way. The way I train people is saying don’t have your back turned toward the guest for long periods, this old man stands right in front of me blocking my view of the guest. I remind him about having your back turned and he’s constantly cutting me off and security noticed and started watching the guest for me. The guest got annoyed and tried to cause a scene calling out the security for being racist and only watching her. The scene didn’t last that long because she paid for what she could and left the rest at the register. I’m a good employee majority of the time but I was so frustrated that I openly complained about my trainee to my team lead.

[@WhtAbtBob10]

Story 4: YTA. Holy crap... OP messed up her paycheck and basically did nothing to actually help.

[@SkyEcho751]

Story 4: Nightmare manager, and the worker's side might get posted on 'tale from retail' subreddit. But ya, I don't agree with the firing, since it's their job to pay her and there should have been a better system for payments in place.

[@ebagentj]

I wish I had seen the first story when it was initially posted. I would have suggested that OP donate the fishing trip to a cancer charity to offer up for raffle or to bid on at a silent auction.

[@Mewse1203]

Story 2: NTA not all of us Latin heritage people are POC and it was super racist of that customer to think so. She embarrassed herself.

[@fanendey]

If I remember correctly there's a difference between hispanic and Latino Spanish/Spaniard people are hispanic but not latino, and Brazilian people are Latino but not hispanic, and people from Latin America are both I believe! Correct me if I'm wrong

[@FlamesofJagger]

Bring on the 🎶 🎵 Am I the buuuuuttthhhoooolllleeee 🎶 🎵 It's always fun to hear that intro so no need to apologize for your singing. Much love Mark ❤ 💗 💕 💛 💙 💘 and always waffle 🧇 on. Waffle 🧇 Gaaannnnggggg!!!

[@queen_of_flatulence]

Hello beautiful person!

[@FlamesofJagger]

@@queen_of_flatulence hello!! Hope you are having a beautiful day and night

[@AndyyWithAY]

In these COVID times and in usual times as well some people live paycheck to paycheck. This should've been set up before the boss left to deal with his family. I wouldn't bother my boss if they're dealing with a dying relative, but we have direct deposit. There's nothing wrong with wanting your due money. She earned her check

[@LoveableNiki]

Story 1: That update came fast and furious! I had just read that story. I wish OP could sue this degenerate for half of everything she's ever paid for and more. NTA.

[@clairebear-96]

One of my personal favorite retail stories is back in 2016, right after the election, I worked at Marshall’s (a discount store with nice brands etc) and a woman got mad at me, then my manager, because we carried Ivanka Trump’s clothing 😂 We both told her no, we have no control over what we sell, the merchandisers just get the stuff for us and send it to us so we have no idea what we’ll be carrying, and she got even more mad and told us we “had lost a good customer” and stormed out. My wonderful manager just laughed and was like good riddance 😂

[@champslim]

Omg I worked at TJ Maxx and this lady lectured me for 20 mins because we had a shirt that was made in China. 😒😒😒

[@clairebear-96]

@@champslim omg that’s TOO good because probably 95% of the stuff they sell is from china 😂😂

[@champslim]

@@clairebear-96 I forgot the best part... She still brought the shirt!

[@gypsygem9395]

Very well said Mark for your last comment on the late wages story! Thank you for the video/stories

[@marybrown6756]

I’ve got a few mottos in my house, one of which is: big momma’s check don’t cash (or in this case doesn’t show up) big momma don’t work. Full stop.

[@johexxkitten]

The guy who outed his sister, could you not have just said “oh your mum went through a total TomBoy phase”

[@kimberlysmith4312]

I love your singing, bring it on.

[@MovableNu]

Story 4: Oh, OP, be careful with the amount of loyalty you're giving to an employer who is proving they are unreliable with compensation. If the owner's system of distributing paychecks is this contingent on owner, what happens if owner has their own health scare? What if owner's father's imminent death is not a quick process and it's 2-3 more weeks until people get paid? How many employees will you have left then? 🤦🏿‍♀️🙄

[@Cell287]

The system is unreliable, yes. But they are only the manager. The meat shield for the owner.

[@starrhunter633]

The first story was just insane to me , I don't understand how people can be like that. The story where OP outer their sister, OP is the AH, but I'm wondering why their sister didn't tell them that they didn't tell the kids and that the picture was up just to cover if it ever came up. That is something I really think should have been discussed especially if OP had pictures and was watching the children.

[@MalachioftheForest]

Thanks for posting content for us everyday Mark! Love hearing your voice

[@parkerpenafiel9014]

It’s disgusting that she treats her sister deciding not to bring up her transition as her lying and acting like she as a cis person is super enlightened and patting herself on the back about how “normal” and not a big deal it is to her and deciding her sister’s safety risk instead of just respecting her boundaries.

[@damien678]

im trans myself and THIS. ffs.

[@Siinwu]

last story...: why do i think it would not surprise me they also never trained there employees properly? with that small update later... darn OP don't need help shoveling he keeps digging a deeper hole them selves, almost halfway to china by now. /smh

[@C.L.Hinton]

Wow, I hope the employee who got fired in the last post sues the absolute crap out of her employer and names the "manager" in the suit, as well.

[@jennilynne1977]

I personally love your singing. I'm sure I'm not the only person who feels that way. Hugs and love to you.

[@Ospyro3em]

Final story- maybe this isn't directly relevant, but this reminds me of a company I worked for for a few months. They were a small family run company and I could see from a mile off that they were having money issues- there were a lot of signs that I won't go into. Anyway, for a couple of months in a row our pay was late by a couple of days as they "needed the money for other more pressing things". One of those things being a freezer for the kitchen apparently (and no, we weren't a company that dealt with the food industry). I remember my manager throwing a temper tantrum when I handed my notice in, saying things like "isn't this company good enough for you then?" (Spoliers- it wasn't). Funny enough, they went into liquidation a few months after I left

[@Cell287]

To me, you handled this better than the girl.

[@cylversprings]

Story 1-There is a special place in hell for men like your husband. I do hope and pray everything with your diagnosis goes well and that you are cancer free. I also hope he gets ball cancer!! Story 2- Karens come in all races. Story 3- YTA x 10!! It wasn't your place to tell her kids. That was a conversation she needed to tell her children, her way! If the kids had questions, refer them back to their parents. Story 4- YTA, and so is the owner. There should have an emergency payroll system. You had no right to fire her for being upset her payroll wasn't there. Most people live paycheck to paycheck. I am sure OP has too at one point, unless he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and never had to worry if they had a roof over their head or transportation or food. If she showed up late, she might have been up all night worried about how to keep her lights on, or maybe she had to find someone to keep her kids because she couldn't pay childcare.

[@als2480]

I have a lump in my left breast. I had a HUGE mental breakdown when I found it. I have to have a follow up ultrasound in 5months to confirm it's not cancer. For now from current scans we think it's a cyst and my milkducts being weird. If my SO treated me like that I'd leave immediately. After hearing the rest of it, even more so solidified my opinion. NTA. You cannot change my mind.

[@Arylwren1]

story 1: sell the trip or give it to someone else.

[@elevin8858]

I hope wife and ex husband’s affair partner enjoy a deep sea fishing trip after the biopsy comes back clean.

[@lolalo6344]

Final story: besides all the other issues OP sounds really proud that their schedule is made 1 week in advance... that would not even be legal where I live. It's a minimum of 2 weeks, or the employees aren't legally obliged to show up.

[@kimberleyg4657]

The op in the first story is going to clean up during the divorce. She paid for his education. He is going to be paying alimony big time. The cheating and lying about divorcing isn't going to do him any favors. But, will for op.

[@Darth_Nycta_13]

Story 3 YTA Outing someone is NEVER justified regardless of your feelings on it. It's not your secret to share.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Whoever is reading this i send hugs and great vibes. Drink water, eat food, nap, take a break, take care of yourself gosh darn it. And if you don't I swear I will find you and keep you in a cottage and take care of you. 🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜

[@katiesmith2031]

Hugs and great vibes back 🤗🤗💙💙🤗🤗💙💙

[@crucisnh]

Story #1: What the hell happened to the part of wedding vows that say "in sickness or in health"? To hell with going out to celebrate with friends! That dude should have been at his wife's side!!! Period. End of discussion.

[@Boundwithflame23]

I heard this one story handful of years ago where the OP divorced his wife because she had ovarian cancer and could no longer have children.

[@tinaclarke704]

The first one if i were her I would have seen a lawyer before confronting him...and asked the other girl to keep quiet. Hope he doesn't get anything from her..and she kicked him out right away.

[@comajuice]

Cis people feeling entitled to not only know when someone's trans, but to also share when someone's trans will never cease to piss me off Her being trans was literally not at all relevant to the kids. At all.

[@FoxExcess]

It's her kids so yeah it is relevant to them. You're telling me you wouldn't care to know what sex your parents were born as? It's kind of important to most people.

[@comajuice]

@@FoxExcess literally how is it relevant to them?

[@WriterDreamOfSweden]

Story 1, people like that dont think about their partner, because they are narcissists. Used a woman he pretended to love to put him through school, cheated because he was "bored" and emotionally manipulated her so she wouldnt find out his lie. Disgusting.

[@chulutheimposter5415]

Hello Mark!! I hope you are still well and I wish you a great night!!

[@badkitty4922]

Mark, sweet man, Waffle King, Poppy's big brother and adopted Daddy, don't EVER stop singing! I think it's really cute and sweet and funny in the best way! It's the highlight of your AITA intro. Much Love to you, Little Miss Poppy, and Rando!💖💖💖😘😘😘🙏🙏🙏👍👍👍🐾🐾🐾🐾 ETA: I often join in the singing with a Jazzy style, complete with snapping fingers, lol😉😂😂

[@Ashakat42]

Story 4. Your lack of planning doesn't constitute my emergency. This is a basic tenancy of business, hell life in general.

[@robertx8020]

2nd story NTA and I really hate those AHs who lie and make employer's lives a living hell because 'they want stuff' They could litterly DESTROY someone's life bij getting them fired for no good reason for as little as $5 This should be seen as a crime and with a 5 year imprisonment attached to it! Maybe that will stop this crazyness Oh and managements who sides with the customer w/o checking should get the same sentence Those ppl might be even worse!

[@rael8797]

Story 3: trans people aren't "dishonest" if they don’t wanna come out, they are who they are and they owe no one any explanation

[@FoxExcess]

It's not dishonest to lie about your childhood when your daughter asks you what it was like when you got your first period etc? These are her OWN kids ffs, yes of course she needs to tell them. I don't agree with what OP did but I sure as hell don't agree with what her sister was trying to do either.

[@toothless3835]

@@FoxExcess yeah same. And I want to add it is important to tell the people your partners too before you're intimae. So the only people who's business it is is the trans person and the people they are intimate with and their children. hiding it from those people is wrong. Besides, there was a photo in OP's house that she'd seen and never asked to take down.

[@loudcubanable]

Man the amount of times i was/ the manager was called racist when i was a bouncer is fing hilarious

[@simonO712]

Wow, that husband sounds like an actual sociopath.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Hey you yes you remember to take care of yourself gosh darn it, you are always valid, and I love you and care about you so please take care of yourself 💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗

[@ivy4104]

Hello there, hope everyones fine and if not that it gets better soonn

[@queen_of_flatulence]

Hello beautiful person!

[@hothotheat3000]

The only reason a man would act like that is because he has contempt for his wife. As predicted, he was screwing around.

[@Tyanna01]

Story 1: First, post the tickets for the fishing trip on facebook, or kijiji, or craigslist, or nextdoor, or whatever selling app is popular where she lives. Second, call a lawyer. I mean, I'm petty AF and I might have served him divorce papers as soon as I found out he was telling ppl we were getting a divorce. I'd make a truthful man out of him :) Either way, he wouldn't be in MY house any more. He'd be kicked out. Let him sleep with the side piece.

[@kathleentate8343]

Get rid of the husband. Out the door. Never to see him again. If you do have cancer, he won't be there for you

[@sweett2924]

Nope! Never be sorry for your singing!! I love it and giggle and sometimes sing along. Always puts a smile on my face and a confused look on my cats face. Lol

[@yandereskitty]

Chilling in bed and watching some mark before sleep. While my kitten goes insane. Fun times.

[@romonaelrod7870]

Good evening all of you waffle lovers. Hiya Mark and Poppy. Mark, we love your singing. 😁

[@Aurummorituri]

Story 3 NTA. Tough shit. Part of being trans is knowing when to fold. The kids found the picture of the sister looking male and there was no getting around it. Absurd commenters think it’s not “OP’s place” to “out” her. Uh, it is her house and photo, so yeah it’s definitely “her place”. Also, sister was still hiding this from the kids? Freaking weird. She created this house of cards. It’s just OP’s breeze that knocked it down.

[@natnuss98]

Story 3: She was still always a woman. She might have looked like a boy but she never was. Should've just told the children that their mom looked differently back then. Outing someone is never the way to go.

[@FoxExcess]

No honey, that's not how being trans works. If someone was always a woman there would be no need for a transition. What's bizarre to me is this trend of trying to deny reality. I don't know where this came from but I'm just happy my trans friends aren't insane like this and would never lie to their children about their childhoods. I'm not for outing but I sure as hell am not for lying to your own kids and pretending the bio sex you were born as just never happened. It did happen, hence why we're talking about a trans person. You and people with your attitude just make it HARDER for trans people in the long run, not easier. Stop trying to push a delusion. Stop ironically using gendered language like "looked like a boy but never was". Like... no sweetheart you have it backwards. "Looking like a boy" in terms of clothes and a haircut does not exist, clothes and haircuts do not have anything to do with your sex or being a boy. Gender is a social construct. Biological sex is not however. And NO man will ever be a woman. No man can ever birth a child. No man will ever have a period. It doesn't matter how much estrogen they take. And the people saying "its not her children's business" are nuts. Of course its their business, and anyone who keeps that hidden from the people who are supposed to be the closest to you is plain and simple ashamed of who they are. This is something that should have already been told to them when they were old enough to be told they were adopted.

[@calliepancakes]

this!! OP could've put it any other way but she just HAD to put it in the most insensitive way possible. the comments about "not seeing her as trans" and things like that really speak volumes (and my condolences on being visited by the transphobic-reply fairy. i wonder when more people will learn that man and woman ARE the social constructs; they describe gender, male and female are sexes. i guess bigotry has to come at the cost of ignorance)

[@ShadowyKatz]

My job changed payroll without telling anyone and I had to miss an appointment because of it.

[@jozf8163]

I would have been in the waiting room sitting on pins and needles waiting and hoping that everything would be OK. OP, get rid of the garbage in your life. First piece of garbage to go would be your husband!