I Am Terrified Of This Man

[@Eldelastrufas]

Wanna feel old? This is Handsome Squidward in 2020

[@kacdp]

Bro you got 69 likes I can’t fuck up the vibes

[@rorri78]

Well the vibes got fucked up

[@fluer7604]

@@kacdp 36 minutes ago 69 likes 36 minutes earlier (rn) 308 likes

[@theofficialjesusyoutubecha7304]

1hr 433 likes now 0-0’ that is one mad ass vibe

[@tylerducreators]

1 hour ago 563 likes 😌💅🏻

[@shaylarose2971]

“Except for that one time” y’all really traumatized him for forgetting the extra greeting that one time and now he’s terrified

[@quuenC]

As he should

[@Aleezakq]

I straight up just posted a comment like this and then saw yours 😭😭😂

[@Me-zt1gk]

@Mouse Lover I think you mean his update corner. Kurtis’s knees will hurt so much he’d wish for death.

[@brittanymccafferty1319]

He can't go in punished , I NEED MY EXTRA GREETING

[@rayann1041]

And I'll do it again

[@sari9645]

My current theory is that he’s one of those “realistic” AI people

[@axolotlarson9384]

thispersondoesnotexist.com

[@ReptilianTeaDrinker]

No, no, that's a fact! lol

[@silvera4352]

Uncanny valley indeed

[@DiamondDazzleSparkle]

Lil mikayla

[@spicycherrymilk9058]

Ngl id ship him with that other ai girl

[@asro_1793]

The crazy thing is this dude makes incredibly aware content now. His 3 pinned TikToks rn are about funding libraries, how school meals should be free, and how inflation is due to corporate greed.

[@deebals]

Fair enough on the first two but inflation is way more complicated than 'corporate greed'.

[@bugzy_brain]

fr, we stan pookie and the pookielations 🙏🙏🛐🛐🛐

[@AvrageMilkEnjoyer]

Pookie upgraded

[@Janaaaa09]

pookielations 🙏🙏

[@yuh6573]

yes i love pookie now

[@AaronandJo]

BALANCE BABY

[@emofart0613]

SO THE FINAL JAM IS COMING UP-(sorry)

[@somethingawesome1311]

Yooo whats up guys? Love your videoos

[@miauwras4751]

Did not expect to see you here😂

[@disdiot2995]

Nice to see you guys here

[@abs.11.11]

Hi guyssss

[@RachelZeglerLovesHugs]

i ain't never seen two greetings in every video. there's always That One Time.

[@ekobutter]

THIS WINS T H I S COMMENT WINS. PACK YOUR BAGS.

[@nanaclaire8016]

This one is good 😭😭😭

[@ronni3204]

THIS comment should've been pinned😭😭

[@madelinebeatlesgirl]

omg hi rachel

[@k5__beatz754]

Lol

[@neethujojigeorge]

The great thing about Kurtis is that you never have to imagine anything ; he's gonna act it out

[@waylankellison3672]

Yes

[@donb956]

Yes

[@Melissaheartt]

I keep coming back for the extra greeting but this does me too

[@ananyasahay]

omg yes 😂

[@lindahalvorsen4062]

Except the KZbin plaques

[@thegreycrowe]

It was so nice to read the comments and find out that our unusual man here is in a way better place _mentally_ now. I wish him the best. Edit: Fixed for the poor souls who didn't quite understand the context! 💛

[@bowgart683]

What

[@biggestastiest]

this makes it sound like he died but he just got into more progressive takes

[@dahliacheung6020]

For real, like, reading comments from people who knew him growing up and considering what he talks about now I definitely feel like the super shallow tiktok fuckboy phase was an act. And I mean... It worked too very him a ton of attention so... Yeah.

[@Madoka_Raviel]

Acting like he died 💀

[@mialucas7952]

He doesn’t blink because it isn’t one of his skills

[@molly702]

HAHAHAHAH OH NOOO

[@snailpocky]

the way i choked

[@thesunray4882]

Alexa could never 😭

[@ReptilianTeaDrinker]

It's because he was born in a test tube.

[@EnbyAnnoyance]

lol

[@renebaebunny8691]

"I ain't never seen two pretty best friends" His face:🗿

[@rosemaryvaughn4050]

his best friend must be godly looking

[@SunniDae333]

Lmfao

[@daisys3006]

Fr

[@5ordersofnormalbread691]

Yo, Angelo

[@perperperpen]

@@Calicobabees that is one impressive filter.

[@misslyntheena]

It’s alright, Kurtis - we are all scared.

[@akkum1322]

@lxvely ryujinie HAHAHAHAHA

[@angelr6782]

Miss Lyntheena 😶 omg he is scary 😱😱😱

[@glutenisthedevil3688]

I went to Middle school/High School with him. He was always a nice guy. I was a little awkward and "uncool" but he was always nice to me.

[@calowenby1654]

Huh. That’s cool.

[@heywhatsup3032]

bro what

[@glutenisthedevil3688]

@@heywhatsup3032 what

[@heywhatsup3032]

@@glutenisthedevil3688 it's just hella surprising. sorry if it came across as if i were attacking you

[@glutenisthedevil3688]

@@heywhatsup3032 Nah, he was a bit of an idiot but a decent person. Edit - this was Middle School until sophomore year when I "knew" him.

[@gtankcorsi8018]

His eyes give me the impression that he knows something that us plebeians could never comprehend

[@eatcereal1294]

I read that as lesbians I-

[@user-ht7hj2hw4b]

@@eatcereal1294 literally me too

[@orlaithmac1423]

not the plebeians 💀

[@sometimesmilo]

I-

[@person1232]

I mean, where’s the lie?

[@jjokal]

kurtis will say the smallest statement and a whole mini movie starts playing

[@snuz1257]

facts 🥘👅🥘

[@officert5147]

@@snuz1257 bro those pizza contacts

[@issaread5937]

🤣😭😭

[@ebosearhuidese8152]

literallyyyy

[@naanbiryaaani]

@@snuz1257 STOP 😭

[@joshypanda4985]

Jordan: “Ain’t ever seen two pretty best friends before.” Yeah, with those eyes, how do you see in broad daylight, damn- Edit: Also I love Kurtis’s impression of Jordan with those goddamn wide eyes-

[@standingonastaircasetalkin3738]

Omg I can't stop laughing

[@siddubois4753]

💀💀💀

[@TheKatarinaGiselle]

Lol

[@lifeoftalise4390]

😂😂

[@SoldierMan1557]

Lol

[@Prastuti._.]

it’s crazy how this man is actually spreading light now. Talking about wars, how school lunches should be free for kids, abortions, women’s rights, and also inflation. Check him out. He’s actually an insanely great person now.

[@DarwinRoger893]

Redemption arc

[@mountaindewbajablasst]

has he seen two pretty best friends yet though?

[@choosehappy9224]

I don't buy it

[@DWHTMH]

​@@mountaindewbajablasst Yes

[@KsbdjdjucHsjdndjdnc]

@@choosehappy9224 BRO😭

[@gabbers8801]

this dudes eyes give me flashbacks to “i had surgery on them after a bad accident when i was 7”

[@shelkyshark9266]

I thought of the same thing 🤣

[@dothmotherknowyouwearth]

-They're from the same lab?-

[@misspotterstargleek]

ooh deep pull nice

[@lowkey.x5855]

Lmaooooo

[@worm2976]

WHY DO I REMEMBER THAT

[@magaberg]

He is like the human version of Handsome Squidward’s bobble head.

[@ej6975]

That’s so oddly specific and I love it

[@rokronroff]

*Humanoid

[@ZielonaPastela]

That's it! I knew he reminded me of something!

[@nobody9729]

this is so accurate

[@BBaaaaa]

LMAO This is why he looks familiar

[@aadrikaverma4931]

He is basically the handsome squidward meme but with a buzz cut, immortality, glow in the dark eyes and a balanced baby

[@juliamarczuk4176]

Underrated comment

[@karabirb]

Do you know what a bowl cut is? Bc this ain’t it chief

[@megib901]

I think you mean a buzz bby

[@aadrikaverma4931]

@Gay Homoson @Nai Birbduck Damn you right

[@vidam1072]

Omg so true

[@iheartandreweldritch]

looking back at this now is so funny. pookie actually has some fire takes as well

[@airinmacdonald3979]

Fr his posts nowadays are like actually facts

[@tyudeongis]

@@airinmacdonald3979 what’s he up to nowadays??

[@airinmacdonald3979]

@@tyudeongis his videos are the same format as in this video but now he's openly out as bi and posts a lot of feminist and gay stuff

[@tyudeongis]

@@airinmacdonald3979 oh that’s cool !!!

[@ierobpd]

pookie is so amazing luv him fr

[@pepsimann2038]

He doesn’t blink because he’s too busy searching for two pretty best friends

[@Nico-lr2vf]

LMAO

[@adrianaheiler9794]

but he did make me curious to see his pretty best friend now, the one with normal functioning eyes.

[@shiii_yuuhhht5765]

Momento Mori

[@banaa2848]

I’m ur 600 like AH yes

[@jazzyqueen1214]

Momento mori

[@classydays43]

He's like what algorithms think handsome people would look like.

[@thewalnut4017]

👁️👄👁️

[@sn0wwhites1991]

omg true

[@ssssSTopmotion]

True

[@rileythacker3211]

"I ain't ever seen two pretty best friends, one always gotta be ulgy" This is me trying to draw the second eye the same size as the first one

[@sn0wwhites1991]

@@rileythacker3211 :D

[@nikkiland]

Ur right Dude Where’s My Car IS an amazing movie

[@1lellykins466]

YES

[@danyelhaskins6210]

FACTSS

[@lavenderbeesuwu396]

omg the 3 am youtubers found the commentary youtubers. the world is ending

[@youpspintheattic1316]

@@lavenderbeesuwu396 zjcncjcnhx exactly run for it 🏃🏼‍♀️

[@TheIdiotDonut]

That stoned dog, they made an amazing performance!

[@m4tttyy]

He's such a king now speaking facts everyday and is very supportive of abortion and feminism things (idk what to call it lmao)

[@pokemaster1478]

Womens rights….

[@himbosuplex]

that's so nice to hear damn, glad when people actually mature and grow as ppl

[@Li8aGun92]

@@pokemaster1478 LOL "you know this thing where women are allowed to do things... uhh... Women's rights?"

[@pinheadlarry2921]

that’s called catering

[@kaskaskas]

@@pinheadlarry2921 or maybe some people just aren't pieces of shite

[@Pipdippy]

he doesn’t blink because he was alive before blinking was invented

[@layknee22]

BALANCE BABY 👶👆🏼

[@floffycow2649]

I ain’t never seen two pretty best friends🥘👄🥘

[@nini1683]

He doesn't know how to blink because it's not one of his skills

[@kaylawegner9528]

figures

[@devilh0urr569]

@@nini1683 I laughed too hard at this

[@sonicshead]

Kurtis: he just came out of his mother's womb Also kurtis: he's been around for thousands of years

[@Sunidhi2706]

Well technically the dude is 0-24 y/o so let's not assume his age yet 😔

[@cronchybo]

he's been in his mother's womb for thousands of years

[@mirellekwon5795]

BALANCE BABY

[@aylacarda]

It's called balance baby

[@ardvark3131]

In all fairness, the whole statement was "It's like he's been around for thousands of years", which is commenting on how confident he asserts stuff.

[@lilttiger]

"except for that one time" y'all SCARRED HIM scarred him

[@ecb3828]

Lmaoooo true that

[@ecb3828]

@Saima Azim kzbin.info/www/bejne/anmqc2SJrN-ji8U in short he forgot to do his signature iconic extra greeting at the beginning of his previous vid and got “cancelled” for it lol it’s a good vid

[@Batsweep]

he scarred us

[@hermansfood9672]

What video wass that

[@_hxeningkxi_]

What happened 💀

[@finnobrien9066]

Kurtis pls come back to this dude 😭😭 he had SUCH a character arc like he talks abt really important stuff and platforms good people

[@merittth23]

I love that the “except for that one time” has officially become a part of the intro... so he always remembers his mistake 😂😂

[@bridgette6538]

Actually there is one video where he forgot to add the "except that one time", too

[@Mr.Hollyw00d]

I dont like it cuz it doesnt have the same jingle

[@SuperMelaa]

I love it, is hilarious. Reminds me of the tw controversy he started himself. What a nice magitian

[@omnical6135]

@@bridgette6538 "except for that one time, except for that one time" should be in every intro

[@crafted_table]

Video one of asking Kurtis to review SpyKids

[@taavipreston9452]

I FOUND OUT WHY HE DOESNT BLINK, HE USING A FILTER THAT CHANGES THE EYE COLOR WHEN YOU BLINK, SO HE CANT BLINK OR HIS EYE COLOR WILL CHANGE

[@aislynnbarry8136]

WAIT

[@johnsvlogsandgames2891]

HE BLINKS IN THE VIDEO THOUGH, I WASN'T PAYING ATTENTION TO SEE IF HE CHANGES EYE COLORS THOUGH BUT HE DID BLINK. I WATCHED IT AGAIN AND HIS EYES DIDN'T CHANGE COLORS. THOSE ARE CONTACTS OR I GUESS THEY COULD BE REAL POSSIBLY.

[@molly702]

HAHAHAHAHAH OMG IM DYING THAT IS SO FREAKING FUNNY

[@joymukerjee5642]

WHY ARE YOU GUYS SHOUTING???

[@pandabobablue]

TAAVI YOU’RE A GENIUS

[@ASHIIIIIIIIIII]

Kurtis looks like a 90s sitcom's protagonist's older brother.

[@facepalm18]

😂😂😂

[@demy203]

He kinda looks like Harry styles from the older brother skit on snl

[@helenfaith1508]

True Lmaoo

[@jazzyjune5809]

Who we all had a crush on

[@rileyhader5276]

this is so specific and yet so incredibly accurate

[@kamilo7473]

jay has gotten so much better and has changed. he says the silliest things now and i love it.

[@toomanyfandoms_probably2020]

Therapist: Wide eyed Kurtis doesn’t exist Wide eyed Kurtis:

[@Narissa_1248]

Some people's eyes just ain't meant for that😂

[@ihavenoidea2805]

timestamp?

[@lizzard.]

@@ihavenoidea2805 i think they mean 5:12

[@toomanyfandoms_probably2020]

@@lizzard. Yep thats what I was talking about thanks.

[@maggiedeering9854]

@@toomanyfandoms_probably2020 right when I saw ur comment the clip came up

[@TicklishCrown]

“He got that long face” - Danny, probably

[@anniedangerface]

😯

[@isapurcino]

lmao i can really hear him saying that

[@GradientTowers]

why can i read this in his voice💀💀

[@jesse-d1v]

@@GradientTowers same-

[@babylonprojectillustration2014]

I can hear this comment

[@kassi-opeia]

"I ain't ever seen two pretty best friends, one always gotta be ulgy" This is me trying to draw the second eye the same size as the first one

[@dani-ch6jv]

Me trying to do my eyeliner

[@majo8117]

I can relate

[@AshXiao1]

Straight facts

[@Tuaiscool]

Hands

[@alastorbutwithagun]

what i do (if i'm doing traditional) is just draw one eye, don't cover it, just draw one eye

[@sydneymackenzie2136]

Crazy Eyes Kurt is genuinely the scariest thing I have ever witnessed. I love horror but no horror in any media has ever evoked the physical reaction I just had to that last skit. I’m gonna pewk

[@lovelyliv0079]

His chin is seriously weirding me out bro, the way he doesn’t blink and his robot voice reminds me of a coworker I had that would creep on every female and used KZbin inspirational speeches as a personality.

[@samleotta9777]

lol maybe he's just a deep fake experiment

[@dp9828]

I thought it was just me getting those vibes 😬 his chin is like something out of a cartoon

[@auroradiaz3248]

I THOUGHT YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT CURTIS AT FIRST JGJFJDJDJSAJD

[@skarletbueso]

@@auroradiaz3248 LMAOO SAME

[@xxonlywunxx]

I don't think making fun of someone's physical features is ever a valid way to critique them or their behavior.

[@pajamasam22]

Kurtis: "I'm too lazy to hang them on the wall" Also Kurtis: *Has two perfectly placed nails on the same wall*

[@molly702]

👁👄👁 He would like..another nail 🔴 🔴

[@DarkShadic9632]

Molly Jonsson *how do you delete somebody else’s comment*

[@boatcats8987]

i aint never seen two pretty wall nails, always 1 gotta be ugly

[@smells1e.-_]

@@molly702 A+ COMMENT OH MY GOD

[@lucksss_.]

@@DarkShadic9632 *sadly you can’t*

[@yeahwhatever1184]

If a guy called me “pookie” I’d.... idk what I’d do but it wouldn’t be good

[@hp1600]

I might actually start swinging and I'm pretty nonviolent

[@penelope3682]

pookie was the name i gave my first cat when i was 7 lmaoooo i cant imagine people calling humans pookie now

[@lisakanzira8976]

**cries in sister calls my dog Pookie**

[@indiae.2457]

my mom calls me pookie 💀 I hate it

[@hannahbreitler7107]

@@indiae.2457 Oh my god same

[@janelyrodriguez6011]

Kurtis should make a full on update on this man. Man has gone from misogynist to comrade.

[@mike41062]

😂 from based to bitch?

[@stephentrash8579]

how was any of it misogynistic it was literally just Facebook humor in a robotic voice

[@choosehappy9224]

Trust me, Facebook humor can be misogynistic

[@aeryn6275]

I'm losing it over Kurtis keeping his eyes wide open whenever he impersonates Jordan

[@vickid9709]

Same! I couldn’t stop laughing!

[@micahcook2408]

Making my skin CRAWL. Uncanny valley 😞

[@strwbry23]

And yet with eyes wide open I still thought he looked cute when he proudly said “ I took it!” during the car skit lmao

[@William-Chan694]

I see him in my nightmares now

[@veriticus]

@@strwbry23same

[@C19520]

Those eyes don't look wise and immortal. They look like there's nothing but elevator music in his head

[@humanbeing4483]

maybe elevator music is the music of all times

[@comical_flask]

lmaooo

[@humanbeing4483]

@@Amethystfaeth maybe that’s why he can’t hear the stupid stuff that comes out of his mouth, the music is too loud.. that would make a lot of sense

[@sexfuk2119]

But my brain only plays elevator music and I am a genius dont judge us like that bro 😡😡😡😭

[@classydays43]

@@sexfuk2119 ProTip: if anybody says they're a genius, they probably aren't.

[@colina1330]

I love how this guy went from a possible 4-year-old to an immortal who's lived for thousands of years in the span of like 30 seconds.

[@sixersstar1]

“How long have you been a 4-year-old?”

[@dog771]

balance baby

[@hleebeg]

oh, like a timelord 😃

[@leonix4760]

Thought you were talking about kurtis lol

[@idontknow21889]

but he aint never seen two pretty best friends😔

[@Dr_freaky96]

This guy actually had a redemption arc and is actually defending women more then ever and I actually follow him cause he’s sometimes funny

[@aeaeeaeae]

Can we all just appreciate the effort gone into these skits? They have shadows now-

[@jean-lucmcdonald5403]

nah

[@makiscool107]

shadows

[@AdrieJ06]

SHADOW DEMON

[@milliondollarcarol]

righttttttt!!! like dangg kurtis

[@bischwester8619]

Shadows?

[@f1ora]

📀 📀 👄 “I ain’t ever seen two pretty best friends.”

[@iliketoeatbatteries8122]

Those cd emojis look exactly like his eyes

[@nasirahnor4713]

@@iliketoeatbatteries8122 wait i see it 😂😂 the heck

[@iliketoeatbatteries8122]

@@nasirahnor4713 aa lol

[@f1ora]

@@iliketoeatbatteries8122 yuppp 🤣

[@biancahargrett7119]

😭😩😂

[@user-ul2yf8qi5h]

What's weird is he keeps quoting quotes from the internet as his own, almost as if he's an alien trynna act like a human lmaoo

[@viviennewarjri]

Omfg

[@garfield859]

thats what my ex-boyfriend did everyday hahaha!

[@user-ul2yf8qi5h]

@@garfield859 LMAOO that's crazy cause so did my sister's ex

[@garfield859]

@@user-ul2yf8qi5h what was his name? not tryna be weird or anything- im just curious ( good job for her dropping him btw lol )

[@Hessed3712]

No one talks about it, but actual confirmation of extraterrestrials occurred this year.

[@iaminsanelol]

i love pookie hes just a silly little guy

[@kaitlynmacneill1904]

CONSPIRACY THEORY: Balance Baby is the same baby that Danny Gonzalez threw into a tree for his TikTok. When thrown into the tree, the baby lost his balance and fell down, being subsequently humiliated in front of thousands of people. From that day on, he vowed to become the most balanced baby in the universe, leaving behind his old, unbalanced life to take on a new identity: Balance Baby.

[@aura8808]

Woah

[@sweetlemonade2673]

Do you want scholarship?

[@garlicpowder38]

@@sweetlemonade2673 yes

[@astra5091]

AHEM *would u consider a scholarship to harvard university*

[@mushroomfairiesd7154]

life changing

[@SalamiLani]

"I can't cook, i can't clean... Hell i can't even read-" I really thought he was about to spit a sick rap from WAP.

[@josofina]

me too omg

[@dweepybug7874]

me too

[@ojasvityagi9882]

We're all 90℅ memes at this point 💀

[@elianazuniga6541]

Guys plz tag Kurtis on the tik tok account TrentJohns93....some top tier cringe. 10/10 recommend

[@HeyHey-ei5qn]

I cant cook, i cant clean but let me show u i aint never seen 2 pretty besfriend its always one of em gotta be ugly

[@tyemoose6971]

But Kurtis. There’s no way he’s millions of years old. He can only be between the ages of 0-24 remember?

[@pey.wils9]

OMG THIS IS SOO UNDERRATED

[@hajime5708]

Maybe it's a typo . Maybe they meant he's 240 years old ?

[@syren5979]

its in light years

[@tyemoose6971]

Maybe it marks the year he was born 🤔

[@thebookwitch895]

He's between 0 and 24 million years old, he has probably lost count

[@scarlett6143]

update on this guy hes apparently gay now? or bi? but hes advocating for womens rights and is actually super cool now i love him

[@Puppysprinkle]

you cant turn gay you find out you're gay and idk if he is gay

[@Moonwalker2923]

@@Puppysprinkle your sexuality and preferences can change. So can your gender identity. And I also heard he’s bi, pro-choice, feminist and an LGBTQ+ rights activist.

[@compulsive_jaywalker1861]

He doesn't even look like a handsome guy, he looks like a caricature of a handsome guy. And it's just uncanny.

[@emilyb.8219]

Models often have something off about their look; slightly strange features are a plus for some reason

[@ZielonaPastela]

He escaped from a cartoon, I'm telling ya

[@reeseewhitfield1734]

@@emilyb.8219 I get what you're saying , but his features aren't even strange. They just look like stereotypically handsome features in the worst possible way.

[@compulsive_jaywalker1861]

@@reeseewhitfield1734 EXACTLY

[@compulsive_jaywalker1861]

@@neberoni thank you ;)

[@Rachellk]

My man Curtis looking like the older sister‘s boyfriend in a 80s movie💜

[@juliagooglia374]

He literally look like Billie from stranger things lmao

[@abracabadass]

omg what's the creepy boyfriend from perks of being a wallflower because...yeah

[@EmaS0226]

😂

[@ChasingYashiro]

I adore this look on him ❤️🙏

[@scribble1403]

I hate how accurate this is

[@fabulousroy]

I think the reason he's not blinking is the eye filter he's using. Theres an eye color filter on tiktok that changes your eye color every time you blink.

[@zsofi113]

Idea I can get behind

[@bishielurfer]

He's obviously using some kind of filter, so it's likely. His skin is also smooth to an unnatural degree, and I think a filter is also what's probably making his chin look so strange. He has really light facial hair, and if you look when it's closer, it looks like his beard is melting into his face or something. And if you do a Google search, his modeling photos really don't look like that.

[@bassic5527]

Nah. He ain't blinking because it ain't one of his skills :/

[@arizonarangershat3831]

He only blinks when jump roping, he can only blink when using his skills

[@blitheringrando1410]

He also keeps perfect eye contact with the camera, which is normally fine if you don't already look animatronic with all the makeup/filters 😂

[@squimpy22]

I saw this dude in the wild on tiktok for the first time a while back and he actually has some good takes, I’ve seen like 3 videos of him voicing support for Palestine

[@DarwinRoger893]

Yeah I saw that too, he's gotten so much better now, good for him

[@logansmith4492]

I can’t believe The Crimson Chin would let himself go like this

[@letmetakeajormungandrattha8591]

LMFAO

[@logansmith4492]

@@letmetakeajormungandrattha8591 I very much admire your username

[@letmetakeajormungandrattha8591]

@@logansmith4492 Thank you!

[@letmetakeajormungandrattha8591]

@@logansmith4492 Right back atcha

[@cassy2789]

Omg I posted almost the same thing/wo realizing someone else did as well. Haha at least others thought the same thing, so great!

[@jackieg.1377]

This man’s eyes are dead. He’s seen too much.

[@fernanda-yx9vr]

nope, he hasnt seen two pretty best friends

[@lexisoup1948]

yet he hasn’t seen two pretty best friends

[@hi6575]

But he ain’t never seen two pretty best friends

[@user77797]

before he dies he has to see two pretty best friends, so i guess he’s immortal because one of them always gotta be ugly

[@Beepblorp17]

But he ain’t never seen two pretty best friends

[@karlamonroy753]

🥘 🥘 👃🏼 👄 🦟 “I ain’t never seen two pretty best friends, it’s always one of them that’s gotta be ugly”

[@soulnha]

LMFOAOSOOSP

[@lanielannister]

It’s the fly for me 💀

[@kokolatte825]

What did you use for the eyes? Bowl of curry! 🤣🤣🤣💀

[@wolfeevi]

THE FLY STOP

[@feyla4814]

NOT THE CURRY 😭😭

[@spiderinthecereal]

Two years later and I’m still following Jay on TikTok. I love him so much he’s so silly.

[@sillyperson1337]

He's so babygirl

[@spiderinthecereal]

@@sillyperson1337 that is so true, he’s so Pookie fr.

[@viosey3723]

Imagine if this man isn’t even real, and it’s just a cursed video that showed up out of nowhere.

[@tereg.1799]

lol your comment scared me even more

[@clintdona4586]

why is this actually scary

[@saintnicole3209]

curtis is definitely real

[@37thraven]

Not too long before real-time 3d models can do this. Already debating it in the tech circles. @@clintdona4586 It's equally scary whether he's a "real" human, or if we're already at android armageddon 😂

[@Da1TruArtistPup]

lol

[@syntheticteapot]

Lol he looks like a randomly generated Sims 4 character.

[@andriwll]

looks like if florida was a man

[@reidbead7196]

that's the only way the eyes make sense lmaoo

[@elodielebrun]

he looks like a gta npc

[@seabb]

with alpha cc eyes 😩

[@grossoutgal4863]

Nah, he looks like those uncanny Sims who have that semi-realistic CC made by people who idolize instagram models a little too much

[@carsonhunt7695]

I'm pretty sure he doesn't blink so that the filter on his eyes isn't messed up. It has to do with the eye filter I'm sure of it.

[@adamjohn2795]

Nah he too busy looking for two pretty best friends

[@anonymous-vd8wx]

@@adamjohn2795 but always one of them gotta be ugly 😔💔

[@imgonnacry458]

What if the second he blinks two pretty best friends walk by and he misses them? Cant risk it!!

[@omnical6135]

@@anonymous-vd8wx I HAVE BEEN ALIVE FOR TEN TRILLION YEARS, I'VE SEEN GENERATION AND GENERATION GO BY but i ain't ever seen two pretty best friends, one of them always gotta be ugly

[@minutemaidd]

Nah he actually has painted on eyes, he’s been asleep for generations now. He’ll wake up once the world blows up to build it back together again.

[@husyay1008]

Kurtis please do a part 2, he has learned many things while on our earth

[@ChaunceyCC]

Thumbnail alone has me laughing. We love you out here, Kurtboy.

[@sportzdoode1997]

I always love when Kurtis uses the jokes earlier in the video to make the jokes later in the video progressively complex. Balance baby 👼👼

[@cgaskin00]

He's going places as a comedian for sure!

[@EskeemoeBearxx]

That’s what we in the business (me and my little sister) like to call “context comedy”

[@johnmayerocksGWluvsU]

YES 🙌🏼 I always noticed this. My absolute favourite comedians all do this. I love it.

[@rainbowbritebrini2150]

Yes! He’s really skilled! This is hilarious 😂

[@BlueMoonlight777]

Yes I'm so proud when I get the joke. It's like like a character development for me xD

[@user-vq4ss2lg3e]

He ain’t ever seen 2 pretty best friends cause his eyeballs aren’t real

[@garlicpowder38]

Makes sense because seeing isnt one of his skills

[@Garpblarp]

nah that shit glass 😭😭😭😭

[@Wolverine_onYTTV]

I read this right as it played in the video. Soooo that glitch in the matrix happened lol

[@blurry_space]

He fact that I was cryig and having a mental breakdown but decided to watch this video to cheer me up at least a little bit. It did, it cheered me up a lot :) Thank you Kurtis

[@niederländer50000]

Real

[@abbsterlicious]

Sending love

[@eternalmiasma5586]

He genuinely looks like Frankenstein from the original novel, he is described as being really handsome but with absolutely, horribly scary eyes

[@koshavinka2995]

Our teacher told us all of the book monster's features were handsome on their own, reason why victor chose them, but, when put toghether, they just made the monster look unnatural And frankly I feel that description is also fitting for jordan

[@joj5150]

@@koshavinka2995 yeah that's more accurate tbh

[@oddott]

YUP i never thought of that but now it makes much more sense

[@BackBruck]

The hastily slapped on chin doesn't help.🤐

[@alex-fs9yt]

Frankenstein is the scientist, Frankenstein's monster is the monster

[@sophiaarndt5496]

“I ain’t ever seen two pretty best friends,” haunts my nightmares I swear to god

[@macaronnotmacadamia222]

Same I had a dream that I was in a mall and it was playing over the loudspeakers.

[@sophiaarndt5496]

@@macaronnotmacadamia222 horrific

[@georfg6646]

"I ain't never seen two pretty best friends, its always one of them gotta' be ugly."

[@maame5095]

@@macaronnotmacadamia222 *nightmare*

[@anniedangerface]

@MB that’s...cruel. he’s still a person and calling him deformed is really messed up. Then again I’ve only watched the first two min of this video, maybe he deserves the cruelty lmao

[@lesbianage9538]

Me: imagine if- Kurtis: * already putting a backward baseball cap on *

[@thetwitchylittleferret4550]

@Lesbianage your name lol 🤣

[@Curtisdoy]

I thought your pfp was a frog so that made me think of the Alex Jones quote

[@adinrichter6034]

please make a follow up video on him, he’s pulled a 180 and is now based af

[@mike41062]

Sounds from all the comments like he went from legit to bitch.. i didn't see anything he said as misogynistic, and I guess now that he got a large female following is advocating for abortion and is a male feminist and sounds like a leftist.. that's the opposite of becoming based.

[@soop5467]

When you cut to Goat Story I SCREAMED they're identical.

[@lpsdaniela]

Dude i know! I was just thinking that

[@user-ym5uu7fr9e]

RIGHT I JUST SAID THAT

[@CharlieHorse4363]

IK THAT’S WHERE I DIED 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@rucha4293]

LMAOO-

[@al_chem_i_cal]

Yaaaaaaaaasssss

[@ToastyJunebugs]

That is the most Handsome Squidward man I've ever seen. He's not ugly, he's just... the caricature of a handsome man and its unsettling to see that in real life.

[@the.lbd.diaries]

yeah his chin is just...something else

[@Hessed3712]

Yes! You summed it up perfectly!

[@OctoberDoesArt]

Seriously...I can't look at him, I have to look above his head when the video plays, it's too weird

[@DanteLikesRock]

Hes so good looking, that you either love or hate his face. No in-between.

[@gvtterslag]

@@DanteLikesRock hes not even good looking. He looks like a melted Ken doll.

[@roisinmurray6267]

He ain’t ever seen two pretty best friends because he’s got two glass eyes

[@wonieism]

LMAO

[@roisinmurray6267]

WHY DID THIS BLOW UP AHAHAHAHAH

[@whale7056]

@@roisinmurray6267 you deserve the fame

[@tessaissupercool007]

kurtis connor never fails to make me laugh. ill be scrolling on yt, having a bad day, and long behold you, kurtis uploaded a video.

[@MadeOfConfusion]

"A woman with an A in her name is crazy, don't get me started on 2 A's" _Winces in three A's_

[@fredar1217]

*four A's*

[@antastasia]

*Winces in four A’s* [Anastasia]

[@rowanheyd1200]

My real name is just AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[@tristanchaplin392]

@@rowanheyd1200 okay, Rowan.

[@aniqua_2417]

.... I aint even gonna speak

[@farrdawgjoker7087]

When your dating a human girl is it wrong to stare at her while she sleeps without blinking? Asking for a completely human guy named Jordan!

[@godpilled9077]

Edward Cullen did that and it worked out.

[@SpagettiSpeltWrong]

Not at all!

[@graiec]

Nope, you can even do it if you guys are not dating, just be careful so she doesn’t notice you’re there. Humans get startled and file “restraining orders” so easily hahaha

[@neliaferreira9983]

How is she sleeping without blinking?

[@michac.8283]

I THINK THIS IS NORMAL AND DESIRABLE BEHAVIOUR. MY ANALYSIS CONCLUDED THAT LACK OF BLINKING MAY BE SEEN AS A SIGN OF STRENGTH AND GENETIC SUPERIORITY, INCREASING CHANCES OF MATING. NOW I SHALL RETURN TO MY NORMAL HUMAN ACTIVITIES, SUCH AS SEEKING CALORIE INTAKE.

[@frongprincey]

maybe he looks like he doesn’t blink because we’re blinking at the same time :0

[@DreamPainter54]

This theory is messing me up dude

[@chloevaughn9755]

Your on to smth

[@dingodog711]

@@DreamPainter54 wow :0

[@josofina]

omg plz

[@NovaliteDreams]

I don't blink, I have staring contests with him

[@bl00d_l0v3r]

This man changed so much, I repost almost all the Pookielations that come out, I’m just nervous one day it’s gonna come out that all his new content is fake :(

[@pigmafia]

Pookielations are always so true

[@ramonajackson318]

Kurtis: He just came out of his mommy's womb Kurtis less than five minutes later: He's seen all his loved ones die. He's been there for all the important historical events

[@lemonstarofficial]

Lol

[@silvermagpie1071]

Time is an illusion, and so are pants

[@Jessicafaye_xo]

Because the website said he’s an age between 0-24 years old, that’s invalid

[@kalos9155]

Balance baby

[@coricat4029]

Right? 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@lexi5345]

Kurtis: “He hasn’t been alive long enough to see two pretty best friends” Also Kurtis: *”He saw the Declaration of Independence get signed”*

[@felix.mp3639]

still not long enough 😔😔

[@wonegg2]

@@felix.mp3639 right

[@xxskiwater]

in his model pictures he doesnt look bad. but in the tik toks....he is terrifying, dear lord

[@Nebulapaws]

Just,,, why is his head so long??

[@gracekessel]

too much chin 🤭

[@Nebulapaws]

@@gracekessel he could totally kill a man with that chin

[@VultureClone]

About the first half of your sentence...I beg to differ..

[@xxskiwater]

@@VultureClone you got a point but yhe doesnt look as bad in his model pictures

[@theluminousstarz]

this video is old but he's always made gems like these, and he still does. he's absolutely hilarious and has good political takes.

[@whenthe3948]

Jordan in the 15th century: I hath never long beholded two pretty maidens in a friendship, one is always unsightly.

[@929er13]

yesth

[@iwantsexseemyvideo890]

Buggy

[@esmeraldachavez8084]

I ain’t never seen one ugly Kurtis Town citizen, it’s always all of them gotta be pretty😍

[@88mph85]

heheh. i feel pretty now 😅

[@esmeraldachavez8084]

@@88mph85 as you should😊

[@esmeraldachavez8084]

@@88mph85 btw love the pfp and name🙂 BTTF is my all time fave😌

[@88mph85]

@@esmeraldachavez8084 thanks 😄really? it's MY all time fave too!

[@nownow3089]

Thank you

[@chykeessoulsearch4667]

“But we don’t have any money, you spent it all on colored contacts!” That was good 👍🏻

[@Plagolago64]

Who took the 240 th like I was just about to press it COME ON SHOW YOURSELF

[@37thraven]

I like me a good serious social critic, but Kurtis is bringing the jokes *and* the social commentary

[@nazwiskoimie]

congrats on 999likes

[@chykeessoulsearch4667]

@@nazwiskoimie never had this many likes haha

[@atleastimnotginger]

3 years later and i genuinely appreciate that guy now

[@rinvendertube]

the “skills” section makes his description seem like a pokémon character card

[@jenniferchecklover]

lmao

[@SM-qv2om]

Who's to say he's not

[@gahhbee23]

I thought you were about to start singing WAP when you said “I can’t cook, I can’t clean”

[@iamapieceofcandy]

Me too 😂 disappointed he didn’t

[@ollieistiny259]

Honestly same!

[@cheriewang6997]

nice profile picture

[@sammich6257]

we don’t deserve that...

[@quuenC]

Y E S

[@patrickhenderson4526]

Homie probably saw one of those fun fact posts on IG that said “The average human will spend a third of their life asleep” and said “That will NOT be me”

[@nniiccollee]

lmfao

[@shalmali-379]

"I'm not average, I'm above it", said Jay putting on his glasses to give the 'cool' effect like the one in the Snapchat filter, but this was not only to be cool, but to hide his lizard eyes from rest of the world. The world is everything but accepting of people like him. idk what this was-

[@saikikusuo7727]

u gotta make another video on him now cus he's actually based now 😮‍💨

[@ryanfh8898]

Why does he look like a character from LazyTown, or is that just me

[@roachqueen1973]

It’s the chin that makes him look like the deceased member of LazyTown. It’s not just you.

[@khelifirosaline5839]

Lol 😂😂 , explains a lot....

[@cactus_san7727]

Here’s a little lesson in trickery

[@yoursleepparalysisdemon8216]

Walmart brand Robby rotten

[@ReptilianTeaDrinker]

WE ARE NUMBER ONE.

[@saderolle1596]

I’m sorry that skit when he turned into a alien, nothing can top that.

[@abubee1018]

Beholder*

[@lilyelizabeth5950]

I couldn't stop laughing istg

[@riyarana4230]

AN alien

[@besfren4910]

Nothing can top hat . Hats off to that

[@lickilicky5288]

Seeing two pretty bestfriends isn’t one of his skills

[@smilingheartman9965]

LMAOOOOOOOO

[@sophia-pl4qu]

THIS

[@stasialii]

OH MY HAHQ

[@flop9265]

Im dead

[@paladinmaguireofbos3347]

But gassing up cars is

[@cattlecastle]

He's such an aware guy now, I love the growth. Very cool guy imo

[@eeperton]

This is unrelated to the video, but I want to talk about something that happened to me a few weeks ago. I had been spiraling into depression and I didn't want to talk to anyone. My parents eventually found out and I had to do therapy. I didn't know what I expected, but it wasn't what I got. The therapist looked old. She looked me dead in the eyes the first time I saw her and told me, "I ain't never seen two pretty best friends." I felt a bunch of relief. Her words treated both my depression and cancer. Stay strong.

[@Nina-nf6es]

You had us in the first part. Not gonna lie

[@nicoledoubleyou]

LOL

[@user-wo2hr2oj9i]

so inspiring😔✊🏾✊🏾

[@lavishgoblin]

so powerful and inspiring. thank you

[@dorianhaviliard1151]

Stay strong #itgetsbetter

[@LeDank]

The man looks like he was generated by an AI or something.

[@luvbIoom]

Ikr he looks like a deep fake

[@dogegang7743]

E

[@dangerfloofprincess]

I'd believe this person is an amalgamation of 90's "attractive features"

[@lop1657]

F that. This mans videos randkm humor is literally AI style

[@DR3_34D]

Ye

[@Maria_745]

He literally has "this man" vibes. Like he has the same gaze as the guy everyone has seen in their dreams

[@muuluzi]

Do you mean nightmares?

[@eden22.7]

Okay side note but Big Fish is a banger song

[@therealplaguerat]

*the man* *HE WATCHES THEE*

[@yourbootyholeisyourbeautyhole]

extremely specific, but extremely correct

[@kendallgiilck9488]

@@yourbootyholeisyourbeautyhole your username disturbs me deeply

[@Plushshop_Anime_fan]

Danny’s title when he sees a guy with interesting eyes: I am mesmerised by this man Kurtis’s title when he sees a guy with interesting eyes: I am terrified of this man