I Asked My Girlfriend To Giveaway Her Cat Due To My Allergies r/Relationships

[@owl7072]

Story 1: I feel like this is just a compatibility issue that they can't get past. She gives up the cat and is upset with him. She keeps the cat, and he's upset with her. There's no winning this, one will be miserable regardless.

[@1911odisea]

If they won the lottery, they could split the money. That's a win in my book.

[@briansmaller7443]

I think this guy is wasting his time. He is going to be miserable and still have to tip toe around the house. All the compromising seems to be one the guy's side. What compromises has the GF actually made?

[@hvensward]

@@briansmaller7443 the GF was going to rehome to cat with her parents, OP is the one who made the plan and said the cat could stay. if it doesnt work, they'll probably go through with rehoming the cat. OP made the choice to try.

[@Joce-bl7qi]

@Brian Smaller The girlfriend is giving up having her pet/companion around her whatever she goes - the bedroom, office, kitchen… Those are high use areas that now she will be alone in. She’s also giving up time & effort (and finances?) in this new routine of bathing and being more vigilant about wiping and caring for the cat…

[@ivorynk752]

Yeah, I would say NAH but I don't expect the relationship to last.

[@DaniS398]

Story 1 OP sounds like he's headed for an anaphylaxis episode. He's getting more and more sensitive. I don't think they're going to work out. This doesn't sound like a mild allergy. I'd ask the gf to move out.

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

My husband's allergies turned into allergic-asthma. I'm concerned for OP's health. No matter the amount of cleaning, you're still being exposed to the allergy.

[@fantasystaplesuwu1554]

Bruh, it's the girlfriends house in the first place. There is no asking her to move out, she'd rightfully laugh in his face. He doesn't have to move in, lol.

[@Bee-ld6qk]

@@fantasystaplesuwu1554 It's his house, actually. He said at the beginning that his apartment was bigger and so his girlfriend moved in. Also that his apartment was closer to the university and she always came there, as to why he didn't even realise he had a cat allergy. I don't know how you didn't hear an integral part of the story lol.

[@CrussoFang]

Yes people don’t understand how bad allergies can get. If you wouldn’t dismiss someone with a peanut allergy the same should apply for someone with animal allergies. I love animals but I would never be able to live with someone with a large dog. It cuts my breathing off and i have to use an emergency inhaler to have a chance of managing my allergies

[@HarryVibes36]

@@fantasystaplesuwu1554 somebody can’t read

[@michellecaudle9413]

Story1- you have every right to not want to be around the cat due to your allergies but that cat is old and has been with her longer than your relationship. I told my current fiancée when we started dating that I come as a package deal with two young boys and a middle aged cat that I’m not willing to give up, so I understand your girlfriend but I also have sympathy for you.

[@michaelmaiara4770]

In my case, it would be keep the cat and lose the SO.

[@drewtatum5846]

@@michaelmaiara4770 in this case it would be rather sad to do so

[@agentzapdos4960]

@@drewtatum5846 It's the proper way, though. Especially if the SO is *shudders and spits venom* a man...

[@magnarcreed3801]

@@drewtatum5846 Not really. I don’t got time for a little shit that can’t tolerate a year or two of mild discomfort and would instead rather traumatize an old animal on deaths door.

[@MaryTheresa1986]

​@@michaelmaiara4770I would too 1000x over. I love my husband, but my cat is my heart.

[@ajillofmanytrades8638]

Story 1: I would never give up my cats. I think them living together isn't a good idea. They should be separate for both of their comfort

[@Alias_Anybody]

The cat is 8. It's not gonna die soon. They most likely can't live apart for a decade either.

[@maximillian1109]

​@@Alias_Anybody A lot of people have an amazing relationship while living appart. It is very much possible

[@jenniferhanses]

Story 1: NTA. But you may well lose the girlfriend anyway. I'm a cat person. I'm not willing to give that up for anyone. I an sympathetic to your situation, and I wouldn't ask my SO to live like that. It's just that I'd pick the cat over anyone.

[@joaolima7131]

Só it's NAH no?

[@itsjustmaddisen]

This sounds more like NAH.

[@thebarefootwitch5564]

A guy told me “it’s me or the cat” on our first date as he was allergic. So I dropped him off at the animal shelter and me and the cat have never been happier

[@jenniferhanses]

@@thebarefootwitch5564 At least he was direct and honest. I'll take that. I feel bad for OP because he didn't know, and I'm willing to believe him about that. But if he had known and not told his gf for all this time as she gets more and more attached to him, then he'd be TA. If pets are a problem I'd rather have that talk really early on.

[@marleyfrost215]

@@thebarefootwitch5564 I had an ex that was really weird and controlling. One time my dog bit him. He was mad and told me that if I want to be with him it needs to be him and me against the world. And that includes my dog. I said “She was here before you and will be here long after you’re gone.” And she was ❤

[@Russman67]

Story 2: "I will never sleep with your brother." Well that is oddly specific. And foreshadowing.

[@RosesTeaAndASD]

Story 1: It would be easier for the gf and Riley to move out while they see each other. This is an insane way to live. There's nothing wrong with them not living together and still dating due to the severity of OP's allergy. I'm concerned his allergy has escalated though. Anaphalaxis may not be too far off.

[@brettemiller8046]

Story 1: this is a large concern of mine. I've dumped a guy in the past because he was allergic to my cat. It's a bummer for everyone all around. Although, everyone telling OP to essentially just get over it are so dumb. allergies don't get better with lots of exposure, they get worse.

[@AndyyWithAY]

I'm allergic to cats too and I get wanting to be comfortable in your home. I think it's ok to ask her to rehome the cat, but it's ok for her to absolutely not want to get rid of her cat. Ultimately seems like their not compatible.

[@lenavablack3632]

Agreed I'd rather break up than force my partner to choose between me or giving up their beloved companions or watch them being uncomfortable in their own spaces.

[@user-nb8tk6hh6x]

Then she needs to go instead of flip out, I’m allergic to cats as well and I have two but that’s on me if I’m interested in someone that’s one of the things I’d be most upfront about because my cats are my life, had one for 25 years so I get that strong bond

[@Cheshyre.]

@@user-nb8tk6hh6x 25 years?! Lucky! What I would have given for my cat (raised her from a week or two old until she died of cancer at age 7 in 2020) to have lived that long.

[@TziporaRaphaella]

Agree. I actually developed a cat allergy somewhere around the time I adopted mine. I can put up with my own cat (and I found it interesting and sad how the OP has to explain their allergies. It’s not usually the fur. I’ve always been allergic to dogs. It’s the same deal either way- the saliva. And you can’t really get around that) but I really struggle to even be in the same home with other cats. This was even true of the cats I grew up with. No allergies as a kid to the same cats but going back to visit my parents before those cats passed away of old age, I had a rotten time. And my allergies aren’t as severe as the OPs. And obviously I’d already committed to my current cat. She’s 13 or 14 now and I’m not sure I would or could get another after her. I’ve heard of other cat lovers who put up with severe allergies and all but it’s also a very different situation when you’re the one who picked that cat versus being the SO in this kind of situation coming to the situation later. I would never expect someone to go through all the OP ends up doing. They didn’t make that choice or commitment to the cat that I did. Though I also wouldn’t give my cat away. Especially because of all I’ve been through to continue to keep her this long. It’s a tough situation but no one is the AH.

[@herta82]

I am allergic to cats too, but I would never ask my so to give up his cat... Pets are more just pets.. they are family members..

[@Junodragon6780]

Story 1 - Man this one is a iffy, if I was in his shoes, I probably would have broke up. I'm not a confrontational woman and if the pet means a lot to the person, I would have set my scenario boyfriend free. It wasn't meant to be and there are plenty of fishes in the sea.🤷

[@paulastiles5507]

Yeah, this. It's not his fault he is allergic, but he and his GF can live without each other without major disruption to their lives. The cat's life would be much more disrupted by being rehomed. Whichever side I was on, I'd break up, or at least live separately again.

[@notoriousd.i.g.87]

Story 1: Either OP has to take a cocktail of pills and jump through tens of expensive hoops just to live comfortably in his own home, or they have to get rid of a beloved pet. At this point, this is a compatibility issue where OP just can't win. Either he chooses his comfort in his own home or he very well loses his girlfriend.

[@ruthsaunders9507]

Let her go. Its not worth it. Those pills will kill you.

[@kathyjones1078]

Not necessarily. I know someone for whom the shots worked.

[@ruthsaunders9507]

@@kathyjones1078 Would you be willing to do that for potentially the rest of your life? Its not worth it. It really screws up your system. They just aren't compatible.

[@BbiBbii]

@@kathyjones1078 Shots don’t work for everyone, I feel like you forgot that.

[@schfooge]

One or two antihistamine tablets a day is hardly a cocktail of pills. Take it from a cat owner who is highly allergic to pet dander.

[@vamp567]

OP: Gives detailed methods he has tried to survive living with the cat. Reddit: Well clearly you just don't like it and want it gone. Seriously, I can't even with Reddit sometimes.

[@brigidtheirish]

Doesn't help that he's a man asking a woman to rehome her cat. Two of the gravest sins possible on Reddit.

[@corvus4976]

Seriously. With the update it almost seems like he got pressured by reddit to go above and beyond for the cat to stay, doing insane amount of work... where his gf already agreed to rehome the cat, da fuck

[@justinthompson6364]

​@Corvus To be fair, he came up with a whole list of places to move the cat _before_ the post. It sounds to me like he's just the type to plan things meticulously.

[@nareegreel]

I don't take reddit seriously, they give some terrible terrible advice most of the time. Every no snd then they get it right though

[@HarryVibes36]

@@justinthompson6364sounds more like he’s trying to ensure at the least the cat would be comfortable??

[@JayeEllis]

Story 1: NAH - Sorry you're not compatible with your girlfriend. It is absolutely out of the question to rehome a family member for your own comfort, except yourself. It sucks to find out at this stage that you're allergic, but what you're doing is putting off the inevitable. You cannot live with a cat.

[@TsukiKageTora]

She doesn’t even seem to care enough to move out. Keep the cat but move out of his house instead of making the only place he has to relax a hellhole.

[@Splatoon_Kirby]

@@TsukiKageTora Because he doesn't want her to move out, and she does want to stay with him. Did you really need OP to spell that out to you why they didn't consider living separately again? And also you can't always just find a new place to live in a day or even a week either.

[@TsukiKageTora]

@@Splatoon_Kirby she doesn’t want to leave but doesn’t want to give a cat to a new place knowing that the cat is basically triggering severe allergies into the one she “loves”. Yeah, how -selfish- nice

[@jakemarie828]

​@@TsukiKageTora​​​OP also never suggested moving out as an option. Providing that as an option might have reduced the panic of the initial argument. You're reading into this. We don't have any evidence that GF doesn't care about his health

[@missClementineI]

@@TsukiKageTora did you not listen to the part of the story where the girlfriend was willing to move the cat to her parents?

[@NelleBoogie89]

What really screwed them up is he didn’t know he had a cat allergy until the symptoms got worse. I’m also VERY allergic to cats as well. But I love them. I couldn’t ask anyone to give their pet away and I wouldn’t give mine away

[@samoanjoseph1457]

Story 1: Before the update, I would have said it comes down to her: either she wants this boyfriend, or her cat. And I suspect the cat wins. If so, OP knows to tell his next girlfriend that he's allergic to cats and her having one is a deal breaker.

[@nareegreel]

Story 2: I would ignore it and return the same energy with my family.

[@carla6558]

Story one. If you know you are going to be a cat person for life, don't let the relationship get that far. I chose not to go on a second date when the guy said to me "the only good cat is a dead cat" Shortest date I've ever been on.

[@Dr.RatioSnail]

That seems so messed up to say that about any animal. Good that you chose not to date the guy. I'd probably have done the same as well regardless of what animal the guy mentioned. Wanting animals dead is messed up.

[@ectonyx]

that's a horrible thing to say! good on you for not seeing that guy anymore. red flag for more than just cat people imo that being said, it doesn't sound like OP knew they were allergic before she moved in, so there was no real way to know what was going to happen. it's an unfortunate situation all around, though. i wish them both the best

[@elliee884]

I’m more of a dog person and I’d still walk out over someone saying that because what the actual hell?

[@paulastiles5507]

That kind of extreme attitude is a huge red flag, especially since in Western culture, that level of hatred of cats tends to go hand-in-hand with hatred of women (yes, I know OP is from South Asia).

[@jackspring7709]

Wow! He ended up making a lot of sacrifices there.

[@JayeEllis]

Story 2: NTA - It's not about forgiveness; it's about trust.

[@LeshaAnn]

But wasn't HE cheating on his wife, too? Just mad that his brother took his mistress. Everyone sucks .

[@johnbennett9504]

@@LeshaAnn There's no mention of his wife until the nonpology, so we can assume he got married in the years between.

[@islajadepierre9060]

​@@LeshaAnn what? Op wasn't married at the time, his brother was.

[@localkate]

Jesus that sure is a lot for a cat. He must really love his girlfriend if he can stick to this plan, I hope it all works out.

[@phoenixfire8978]

I really hope his allergy shots start kicking in soon. That’ll greatly reduce the extra cleaning burden

[@absolutelyridiculous6743]

No kidding. I feel sorry for everyone in this whole situation. My husband already told me that he's not willing to take pills or get shots so I can get a cat, and we've already talked about what to do if we bring home an animal and someone is allergic. We'd re home the critter. It's different when the animal has been a family member for a long time, though. Just all around frustrating. I also don't know if I could be THIS crazy about cleaning to keep an animal, but...I know what it is like to be attached to one. I dunno. Hopefully it works out for everyone

[@hothotheat3000]

That’s way too much for the sake of holding on to a relationship that likely won’t last. They are early 20s. Die she really think he’s still gonna be with her when he’s 50? Just break up. Not all break ups have to be due to cheating or abuse. You’re not compatible, you’re delaying the inevitable, and the sooner you accept it, the better.

[@battlesister1559]

I feel bad for him having to do all of that just to accommodate his gf's cat when she could have left the cat with her parents... Honestly if OP was just bitching and moaning it would be one thing but noe he's taking a bunch of meds and doing smth they're not used to......to just accommodate a pet. His health is at stake for a cat... Honestly I'd have left her since I would never sacrifice my health to that extent nor I'd even say "hey you should rehome your cat"

[@localkate]

@@battlesister1559 For real! He's breaking out in painful and nasty hives just sitting down or touching the counter or laying in bed. Like damn, dude, at some point draw a line. I know he loves her but how long can he live like this before his body just can't take it? Seriously hope those shots end up working.

[@Weirdandwonderfull19]

S1. I don't think OP is the ahole necessarily. I think it's a really unfortunate situation, and it seems like OP has really tried other alternatives. That said, I have 4 cats... All aged 10-14, the oldest I got when she was 1, and the other 3 when they were kittens. They have been by my side through so much 💩. I don't have close family, we get on well enough but we're not especially close. So my furry friends are my family too. I love them more than I can explain. I'm sorry, but I made a lifelong commitment when I got my cats and dog, they became my responsibility for the rest of their lives. I, personally, would have to say a heartbroken goodbye to the partner. I know not everyone feels the same about their pets, and that's ok. That's just what I would have to do. I don't think anyone is TA here, I just think it's a difficult and sad situation ☹️.

[@marahbaker8615]

what would've been the deal breaker for me is how he made this decision and made the list of potential home to send the cat to without even discussing it with her

[@user-nb8tk6hh6x]

@@marahbaker8615 she’s the problem

[@MinionEnji]

​@@marahbaker8615 I agree, him making a list was actually an AH move. Yes, he wanted to be prepared and she can just easily agree or disagree... but it's the intent. It rubbed me the wrong way that he assumed it was a defiant "Yes I'm get rid of Riley". As a guy with three dogs and two dogs long past, I'd never just assume a person will choose me over their life committed fuzzy partner. If anything, I'd start pleading my case not to get rid of ME first, because bonds with animals are strong.

[@locusxe1411]

@@marahbaker8615 he did discuss with her though. He just made a list of people who could take care of it if she agreed to rehome it. He even said it was completely up to her

[@ladybetrayus69]

Story 1. I was in the same situation many years I told my boyfriend at the time. Juliette has been in my life for 10 years you've only been in it for one a cat outranks you and seniority we broke up but in the end I believe it was worth. My cat went on to live to the age of 17.

[@1911odisea]

I'd bet the boyfriend outlived the cat, so he won in the long run.

[@ladybetrayus69]

@@1911odisea actually the cat outlived him. He was Driving drunk cat outlived him by a year

[@jackspring7709]

I agree - but something tells me you were a real ass about it. I don't know why but that's the impression I get. I'd never get rid of a pet for someone unless it was a severely allergic child - but I wouldn't tell someone the pet is better than them, either.

[@ladybetrayus69]

@@jackspring7709 I didn't tell him the cat was better than him I told him Juliet had seniority over again meaning the she was there first. And I had her longer..

[@HarryVibes36]

@@ladybetrayus69yeah he dodged a bullet for 6 years. Still a win

[@ricaivory6571]

Story 1 the easy situation is just to move back out with Riley until Riley passes, or they get the allergy under control (which is hella sad for Riley bcuz he like the cat) BUT the way he living is INSANE!!!!! Even if you love cats. You can't calm down an allergy that severe, that fast. It's only been 2 years, live separately for a while and girlfriend can spend the night at op house and op can SLOWLY spend the night with Riley to build a tolerance.

[@agentzapdos4960]

No. They should break up. That way the girlfriend gets to have pets and the love of pets, and the useless man i dont care he can die in a ditch. How dare he ask someone to get rid of a beloved, lovely furry companion?

[@GMAMEC]

This sounds like the best compromise. It’s an unfortunate situation.

[@ricaivory6571]

@@agentzapdos4960 just bcuz no one loves you doesn't mean you get to try to make the rest of the world miserable too. You only Care about animals bcuz they the only ones you can forcibly make stay with you.

[@TheRockinDonkey]

You don’t build a tolerance to an allergy. Unfortunately, the best option is for them to live separately until the cat passes or split up.

[@HaizeyWings]

@@TheRockinDonkey In certain situations it is possible to build up a tolerance to allergies. I'm currently being treated for moderately severe pollen allergies. The treatment is this: consuming tablets containing trace amounts of the allergen every day for 3 years, which in this controlled setting will acclimate my body to the allergen. It's prescribed by my allergist and I've seen a noticeable difference last pollen season :)

[@selinesbeau]

Sometimes your lives just don't mesh. I'm deeply attached to my cats. I feel responsible for their welbeing. There were times they were the only thing that got me out of bed. I probably just wouldn't date someone allergic to them.

[@ButyoucancallmeKat]

Story 1: my first reaction is that they had to break up. If a guy I’m dating is allergic to cats then he’s allergic to me. I took on a responsibility when I took them in and if my partner isn’t compatible with that then it’s not going to work out. He wanted to stay together so he worked it out and is living a little harder to keep dating this girl and honestly yeah that was his only other option. Really nice to hear a really good story like that. I really hope it works out for them.

[@D123-f9k]

Story 1: Who are these smooth brains saying YTA to OP after he made considerable effort to deal with the surprise serious allergy until he couldn’t take it anymore? He didn’t even tell her in the typical douchey Reddit boyfriend manner and guilt trip her. I’d have nothing bad to say about her if she DID choose to move out and keep her cat of 8 years and there is nothing wrong with her being upset the first conversation, but that man put himself through a lot to try and make things work and the update proves that even more. It should have only ever been NAH.

[@vanzy01]

💯👍

[@roarkthehalf-orc6598]

Story 1, As someone with really bad allergies I’d never ever get into a relationship with a cat owner because I’d never ask her to get rid of her pet

[@superzooperhaze6597]

100%. i own three cats (to which i'm mildly allergic myself so i do feel for the OP) but i'm even more severely allergic to rabbits so when my partner and i started dating four years ago i mentioned that and asked "do you have rabbits? if so we may not be compatible) and he fortunately did not but if he did i would have politely told him we're just not compatible

[@Cheshyre.]

You're one of the good ones.

[@keishaizawesome2836]

Exactly

[@HaizeyWings]

Same, it's not worth living in misery and the horrible situation of potentially rehoming a beloved pet

[@dandotvid]

Just the fact that OP went through the initial trouble of finding possible places that Riley could go shows he did care. If he didn't, he would have dumped the cat somewhere and when GF asked be like "Oh no! I left the door open and Riley got out! Whatever will we doooooo?"

[@user-nb8tk6hh6x]

Exactly the gf sucks for not seeing that.

[@rizon72]

And if OP does that he is the AH.

[@meganhirschi6248]

Story1- Here’s an odd suggestion, and it goes against cultural norms, but you said your allergies were fine when you had two separate houses… well… what if you had two separate places again and continued the relationship that way? Works for some couples.

[@kaidrazarc8000]

The fact that wasn't even consided shows how lowly he cares about the cat as it its just a sentimental thing

[@agentzapdos4960]

@@kaidrazarc8000 Exactly, which is why I think he should find himself in front of an oncoming train so that this poor woman can live her life how she deserves instead of having consideration for some selfish man who puts himself through Hell just to get his dick wet due to being part of a demographic made up entirely out of disgusting creatures.

[@emanx222]

I was thinking this as well funnily enough

[@robins2819]

@@kaidrazarc8000 How lowly he cares about the cat? Like what else do you want him to do? He's already gone above and beyond, he's taking an insane amount of medication and is essentially tiptoe'ing around his own home. The girlfriend even said she'd be fine with giving the cat to her parents because it causes so much grief but he's like 'no we can keep it' and his life currently revolves around trying to keep his girlfriend's cat. Its actually insane for you to think that's not enough.

[@juliamiller2299]

Story 1, I hope things work out for them and the allergy shots start working. Story 2, OP shouldn't even respond to his SIL, brother, and family and stay NC with them all.

[@agentzapdos4960]

I think that moron should have never moved his girlfriend in and instead broke up when he started having "pollen" reactions. She had such a sweet setup before OP rolled in and ruined it. It's so rare for landlords to allow tenants to have pets.

[@locusxe1411]

@@agentzapdos4960 terrible take tbh. And how is he a moron? He literally said they only allergy he had knowledge of was pollen. Ofc he’d assume that. Op didn’t ruin anything. She didn’t have to accept. Also it’s not rare for landlords to allow tenants to have pets. Where the heck do you live?

[@madcatlady]

feel for both in the first situation, I am actually mildly allergic to cats myself even though I have always owned them, it flares up each time I get a new cat and takes a few months to subside but I want the cat more so I persevere, this reaction sounds more serious.

[@rubymeaddle]

Cat story: NAH, but dude looking into homes for Riley before asking her was a major line cross

[@sirenblack]

Story one: sometimes allergies just come on. My daughter suddenly became allergic to to pet fur at 8 she had been around my sisters dog for years practically her entire life then one day she couldn’t be around him at all. She would swell her skin would ooze and eyes would swell end up in hospital not being able to breathe. This is not his fault animal lovers love to blame people with allergies putting up boundaries so they can do normal thing like wanting to breathe! Allergies shot and tablets aren’t supposed to be used all the time or they might stop being effective.

[@muhname6052]

Story2: I'd be supper petty and email her back a picture of leftovers to his brother and when he asks what it was tell him you sent the wrong picture with a picture of his wife with the caption say: sorry it's hard to tell the difference sometimes. Also people who don't sleep with siblings don't need a rule telling them not to.

[@H.P._Lovecrafts_Beloved_Cat]

Story 1: This doesn’t feel like an AH situation. The post would probably work better in relationship advice. AITA is just way too toxic to discuss complicated issues like this. Though I guess relationship advice wouldn’t be much better with all the breakup comments.

[@maximillian1109]

Story 1: So my gf has a kid that I am allergec to and I want her to give them up for adoption, but she said no... Not saying that OP is an ahole, just that he dont seem to realize that animal companions are just as valued and loved as any other family member. I would never give up any of my critters for someone who came into the picture on a much later date. That would be like rehoming my cat because my newly adopted dog keeps chasing her around. No, thats not how it works!

[@tresleches452]

I would never give up any of my pets, that’s a deal breaker.

[@ivorynk752]

I've actually known cat lovers who were allergic to their own pets. Let's just say they bought their benadryl and claritan in bulk, because they would not give them up.

[@evedallas2271]

Yep, it would be good bye boyfriend 😂😂😂

[@habituallearner7680]

​@@ivorynk752I'm one of them. I took allergy shots for years then finally quit having an allergic reaction to cats. I would still take them or bulk buy benadryl rather than give up my darlings. I don't hate OP but I would rehome him before I'd rehome my cats.

[@superzooperhaze6597]

@@ivorynk752 lol that's me right here! it helps that my anxiety medicine is also a prescrition strength anti-histamine that off label treats anxiety

[@GMAMEC]

Yes, it’s a deal breaker for some. It really depends on the situation and circumstances. Unfortunately, these two are not meant to be together.

[@crem-crem4070]

Story 1: this reminds me of a close friend of mine. She is very allergic to cats, like carries around an epipen levels of allergy, but she LOVES cats. She’s had to be stuck with an epipen twice now because she’ll sneak in cuddles with her bf’s cat when no one is watching.

[@hothotheat3000]

So she’s willing to risk death to pet a cat? She’s an idiot.

[@OKAYOKAY420]

I'm sorry but your friend is very stupid for this lol.

[@HaizeyWings]

That is... Sweet, and also disturbing. It's like me eating peanut butter even though I know it'll kill me lol. Not a smart move

[@TheDarwinProject1]

Story 1: Just switching to a non clay litter could make a huge difference. Its a huge allergy trigger & clings to cat fur, getting tracked around the house. I would have asked the partner to help pay for allergy shots before ever asking for them to get rid of the cat. It may be that they simply aren't compatible or if they can afford it, perhaps they need to live separately.

[@listenquitely2888]

S1: The girlfriend needs to be taking care of the cat not OP. It's her cat and if his allergies are that bad she needs to be finding solutions and put in the extra work.

[@GMAMEC]

This was my thought too. There’s not much more that he can do in this situation.

[@bautistalover]

That’s the problem isn’t it, he’s the only one trying to find a solution. She sounds selfish and insensitive and OP needs to keep his eye on her.

[@Bubby-2010]

As an animal lover, I wouldn’t even know where to begin to fix this problem. I think it’s hard on both sides. I don’t like to say they’re just not compatible because they obviously love each other. I guess all I can wish is for them to be OK in the end, whether that’s together or apart. ❤️ And… I thought we were done with that song… 😭 The one in the end… Is it just me? 😅

[@lenaniemeyer4450]

What's wrong with the song?

[@shells500tutubo]

Story 1- I think Op and his gf are handling things as best they can. But he needs to be clear, and she needs to agree, that in the future, when the cat dies, that there will never be another cat in the house. if she hesitates for even a second to agreeing, I would bail. People without allergies often have a very difficult time seeing just how bad those allergies are.

[@agentzapdos4960]

OP should have bailed as soon as his allergies kicked up. Since it's his problem, it would be on him to find the girlfriend a new place to live that allows pets, since it's his fault she moved in. And yes, he should be paying First & Last as well as the deposit and first months' utilities (which is the most expensive one usually). He should do this, because if he didn't move this poor woman into his place originally, she would still have her original apartment that allows pets.

[@blackroseinbloom]

@@agentzapdos4960it’s not his problem, it’s hers. She chose to still be very dismissive about his allergy when he can’t even be in his house comfortably. She’s a grown woman, she should act like one

[@superzooperhaze6597]

@@blackroseinbloom nah, as someone with severe animal allergies, it's on the person with the allergies. not the person with the pet.

[@blackroseinbloom]

@@superzooperhaze6597 she moved in with him, not the other way around. If he had moved in with her and found out he was allergic, he would have to leave. She moved in with him and now nothing in his house is safe anymore. She brought the allergen, she has to fix it.

[@paulastiles5507]

@@blackroseinbloom He asked her to move in, so it's on him.

[@deliriouswhitewolf818]

Op: I am allergic to cats and get severely ill. Reddit: we don't get it. People really???? I have an allergy to cats but not as severe as Op. There is ways to help but if the allergy is severe enough these things don't help. So should Op suffer in his own home that can lead into other health issues? Reddit can be super stupid sometimes. *Edit* I do have cats as I have made major life changes due to my own love of cats while I would never say give up the pets but the people saying OP is an AH for bringing it up are not being fair or realistic

[@lnaph]

Is thr fact he wasn't willing to get allergy shots to resolve the allergy because "it is too expensive." This makes it clear he isn't willing to do what it takes and he just doesn't want the animal. He is going to try ans take thr shots n the end.

[@tamsel814]

Both in the original post and the update he called the cat an it. It may just be an unfortunate word choice as he called Riley she once, but calling a pet it indicates a certain level of uncaringless.

[@ReyK_47]

Story 1: I'm really hoping the allergy shots work. I luckily built up an immunity to cat allergies and I've had my lil dude for around 7 years now, but my allergy wasn't so severe as OP described. Hives and itchy/watery eyes and burning sinuses are seriously uncomfortable and difficult to live with. I like the waterless shampoo idea. I actually use a waterless shampoo for my smol demon child because he was getting dandruff and I didn't want to wash him too often. He doesn't ever go outside so I honestly don't wash him all that often anyways, just brush him regularly, and when I saw the buildup of dandruff I didn't want to make it worse from over washing. It literally took two cleans with the waterless hydrating shampoo and a damp rag for his dandruff to disappear completely, no joke. He doesn't like it but he hates it way less than an actual bath lol

[@paranoiarpincess]

The only crocheting I can do are squares and longish squares. I've made scarves and throw blankets but that is the extent of it. Knitting on the other hand...: sweaters, dresses, literal knitted roses, Hydra fingerless mittens, doll clothes (some of which I knit with literal toothpicks to get the stich size to look like a doll made it), head bands. Some of the projects I followed patterns and some I just made patterns up. I even invented my own stitches, two of them, and made headbands that have chevrons knit into them, and chainlink scarves I copied from another company, but didn't know how to make them at the time so I made it up and ended up accidentally making my own stitch that way too. Oh. I also made an entire mermaid tail by knitting actual aluminum scale maille scales onto a cotton miniskirt, then 4 times more scales onto the rest of the tail I invented that I not only made the pattern to, I created an entire harness system to keep it in place. I would wear the mini and carry the tail until someone wanted pictures. Then I would throw the tail on and harness it in, and lay on the floor haha. If anyone wants to see it, I have a photo of the costume on insta. Just find (a)jordannefuller and you should be able to see it as my profile pic. I'm really proud of it... still can't crochet to save my life. The patterns are all alien to me. Funniest part is, I literally started with crochet. Today though, I listened to you while painting. I'm working on a series am I'm 4 pieces in, although only one is finished.

[@toothless3835]

Story 1: the amount of people accusing OP of not trying hard enough. He has allergies! The hell. It's HIS house. If you want to live in a house where you feel sick, itchy, and uncomfortable, that's on you. He's not an AH for requesting it. She needs to move out with her cat. Whether that's them breaking up or not that's up to them. But until the cat dies, or she agrees to get rid of it, they can't live together.

[@LisaApril]

Mark, you are completely correct on the cat situation. This whole thing that they’re doing is crazy to me.

[@glosaint-aime16]

Story 1: NTA, allergies can kill, poor guy

[@rylashadow18]

S1) Maybe a catio that's insulated with a little door so the cat can get in and out of the house nice and easy? With windows that open up for fresh air during warm weather. S2) Nope there's something they want and that's why she's reaching out. Tell them nope. They chose years ago to not want anything to do with your life then. They don't get to come back years later with a weak sauce apology.

[@NightwingNo_Jo]

Story 1: it really sucks for OP that they’re only finding out how bad their cat allergies are after moving in their girlfriend. But speaking as someone whose cat allergy has only gotten worse over the years, regardless of what OP does just having that cat in his living space is going to be uncomfortable to some degree. For the sake of OP’s health, they should either live separately or break up. All the insane steps they are going through might be for nothing, his allergies could continue to get worse and even set him on a track for anaphylactic shock and this is just no way to live in your own home, it sucks but sometimes you’re just not compatible.

[@GMWILD87]

Story 2 cheating in anyway is a big nope for me I would've been no contact and told every single person I know period.

[@Theunknownone58]

Story 1 nta at the worst from what I read you were polite as can be and never knew u were allergic your response was the best possible

[@snowangel92100]

Story 1. I understand the situation but I don't want to be on every allergy medication just to exist in my own home. Even more so, dedicate time, resources and mental space when I'm a med student. I'm glad they came up with a "solution" but it seems more like a bandaid. All it takes is a miscount of bathing days, forgetting to wipe down the cat, the cat gets into a safe room, a filter isn't cleaned/ replaced, run out of shampoo or the medicine stop working/ can't afford it anymore. And it's back at step 1.

[@rosystrawberry]

Really. I hope reddit will handle the next post being "my gfs cat almost killed me" or something because reddit can't read let alone bother to learn what critical thinking skills are. Medicine is expensive. And even more, it can fuck you up if you take too many over time and that's the worst result there is. Reddit just pressured a man into taking in a cat he could very much be hurt from because they don't want to think of anything else. Other than breaking up. They might as well start paying for everything too, because insurance isn't going to cover something that is more than optional because cat allergies isn't something to worry about on a daily like pollen is. Either way, the man is going to be hurt or worse, or having to spend less money on food or something to afford medication to just dare to live in is own home. I have 5 cats and I love them to death, but if they wanted to be together that badly, just rehome it to a safer home.(which op was suggesting, showing he cares for the cat.) The whole post just makes me upset and reminds me how reddit is just a load of bullshit honestly.

[@superzooperhaze6597]

@@rosystrawberry nah, reddit isn't wrong here. when you adopt a pet, you give them a forever home not a home that they can stay in until someone else determines they can't. the ONLY exception to that is if you have a kid with severe allergies. they're just incompatible at a base level. it's unfortunate but even though i'm allergic to all three of my cats i'm not giving them up unless i lose my home and can't take care of them, and that's generally the mindset a good pet owner will have. i don't know anyone who would rehome a pet they've had for 8 YEARS for a partner who has been around for any less time.

[@rosystrawberry]

@@superzooperhaze6597 Yeah and adopting a pet too also comes with the, *Oh my god,* consequences. Like, *not being able to date people with an allergy.* Or at the very least, *have to work harder to make shit work.* The two can break up or live in separate areas if they are that hellbent on staying together. I don't understand why he has to break his back to live in his own house. Clearly both are just denying how hard this shit is going to be and picking the hardest path possible. Hope she's ready to foot the medical bill her cat is going to cause because both of them are refusing to do much easier options. He's not going to get better and if he is, it's going to be brief. And if she really "loves" him. She wouldn't be letting him doing all sorts of bullshit to breathe. She would either break up or live in a different area. If you agree with reddit fine. But I don't because I just see two people not wanting to see what they actually have to do, and reddit pressuring someone else to put their health on the line and pick the hardest path they could pick. I hope all goes well, but I don't see it happening.

[@slothdance2020]

I have a sever cat allergy and my sister had to flee an abusive relationship and she insisted on bringing her cat with her. It was the most brutal year of my life. 3 different allergy meds, eye drops, nasal sprays, and I basically lived in my room. My bedroom was the only place the cat could not go. After my sister left, I told her that I would not go through that again. It was horrible. So after she had her son and yet again had to flee another abusive relationship I told her I could not have the cat back. There was no way I could help with her new born son if I was constantly drugged and stuck in my room. I told her I could help her find her own place, or someone to watch her cat until she got her won place. I was basically a parent to her son and watched him regularly including overnights and there was no way I could have done this with the cat around.

[@lunaticbz3594]

Story 1, I saw a similar but more manageable situation play out in my own family. Many moons ago my sister started dating lets call him 'Joe'. At the time my sister was living at my aunts house and my aunt had 3 cats. When I first met Joe I was seriously concerned that my sister was dating someone with serious drug issues as he just was off. Later found out he was severely allergic to cats, and the reason why he looked like a drug addict was he'd take 5 benadryl just to spend time with my sister and aunt. Since they weren't my sisters cat when they moved in together the problem solved itself. But yeah if there's a serious allergy the 'just take medicine' is not a realistic solution. Even short term I mean it worked for him but he was kinda a zombie anytime he had to be at my aunts house for a family function. And would still duck out within 30 minutes.

[@GMAMEC]

Sounds like Joe was a real trooper. I can’t function on Benadryl.

[@lunaticbz3594]

@@GMAMEC He didn't functional that well either, why my first impression of him was so bad. That the situation was temporary is probably the only way they could manage, if the cats were my sisters I imagine she wouldn't be married to him these days.

[@localkate]

Love being this early because I get to see how 280 people all tuned in within six minutes :) Mark's got an audience and he's come such a long way!

[@Icalasari]

Gotta love that Reddit tagged OP as the AH. "How DARE you be allergic to cats to a major degree!"

[@Sunari]

I am impressed if that first couple keeps up all that work. Really hope the shots start working or something because if they don't get to reduce the workload down that's going to become tiring in the long run...and even then there's the rest of the future to consider. Sure they could ultimately decide that the cat needs to go to the parent's, but does this also mean that's going to be the last cat she has? Will any future cat have to be cared for by the parents? Does she like dogs too? Has he developed any allergies to dogs as well? Sounds like silly and extreme questions, but to someone like me who enjoys having animals its up there with the kids discussion.

[@TheHellsHobbit]

I feel for Op as I also have very bad allergies, I ended up getting allergy shots (it will take a long while for the shots to build up the antibodies) so I could be around family that had cats, I am basically allergic to pretty much everything. If he still can not come up with an answer, time to end the relationship.

[@ivorynk752]

I would say NAH for the fist story, but I imagine it be a strain on the relationship and might not last.. Not every relationship issue has a villain, sometimes it's just incompatible lifestyles.

[@sparrowpelt20xx61]

Me: *reads the title while raising pitchfork* Also me: *listens to story while lowering pitchfork*

[@Orinatl]

Story 1: It always cracks me up when someone think that their partner will choose them over their pet. 😂 it almost *never goes that way* .

[@user-nb8tk6hh6x]

I took care of a cat who was abandoned by her owner for that exact reason it wasn’t even the partner it was the partner’s daughter who was hardly even around in the first place.

[@tartlynerdy]

Story 1 - I don't like situations where someone forces someone else to choose their relationship or their pet. That's incredibly selfish and cruel to force an animal out of their home. I changed my mind after hearing op try so hard to compromise and make it work so his girlfriend can be happy with her cat. Story 2 - These people suck. Cheating is awful but cheating with your siblings significant other is just irredeemable. I think she was being pressured to make amends because the foundation of her relationship with her new husband is disgusting and reputation damning. Stay no contact and let them squirm knowing that people are judging them.

[@melissaclark1051]

He went it about a bad way. Hear is a list of places where your cat can go and that was it.

[@Alias_Anybody]

If I was that guy I'd honestly just re-home the girlfriend.

[@nicolesubritzky6427]

Story 1: As someone with a lethal pet allergy the hard truth is, they're probably just not meant to live together. At least not at this time in their lives. Even as serious as my allergies are, I would never ask a partner to get rid of a dog or cat for me. That's their family. But I also wouldn't put myself at risk by combining households. And it's not like they have to break up just because they have separate apartments. No ones at fault really, they just have different needs right now. But they're also kind of ignoring the obvious solution. Neither is in the wrong but they're both a little silly for the all or nothing attitude.

[@97scarletwitch]

Story 1: This made me so happy! They love each other so much that they're willing to compromise to keep the family together. It might sound like a lot, but their relationship is worth it, and that's beautiful.

[@kayq3231]

My cat has been there for me through really rough times. I've had him for almost 6 years now. He stays and anyone who has a problem with that can leave. I read a story a few years back where a guy and a woman start dating. Turns out he's super allergic to her dog who is very much a senior dog. They really liked each other but recognized the problem. As morbid as it is, their solution was to break up and once her dog passed away, see how they still felt about each other. 2-3 years pass and neither have dated each other during the time. They got back in contact and started dating again.

[@lianabaddley8217]

I understand story 1. I am allergic to cats. I grew up with cats but didn't have anything bad happen. When my youngest sister got married he had a cat. To me that cat was the smelliest cat I've ever been around. She would meet me at her door with a glass of water and an allergy pill. We both also have asthma. One day it was just to much. I had an asthma attack but left my inhaler at home. Her inhaler was in the car with her hubby. I had to leave. That was the longest 10 miles I've ever had. I had to stop at a gas station for a cup of coffee. Coffee can help against asthma.

[@las9582]

I'd never give up my animals for anyone.

[@Dina-lc4bt]

Story 1- I would never give away my pets because they are my babies. That is a difficult situation. Can it be an outdoor cat? Can you train the cat to not sit on the couch? Block off the bedroom from the cat? I am also allergic to cat saliva, but dogs are ok as long as I take allergy medication. My cats lived outside when I was a kid and only came into the house occasionally (except the garage). We installed a cat door in the garage and had a cat area with their beds, food, etc in a warm location. I did sometimes have to shower after cuddling them, but it was worth it. Good luck!!!

[@gilliancourtney4701]

Allergies can occur at any time and I knew someone who had a beloved dog and suddenly became allergic to it. He managed to find a good family to take the dog but it was heartbreaking.

[@MrsGump]

Woooo hooooo you saw my crochet post on Reddit! Thats made my day 😃❤️

[@BrianLiamson]

Story 1: I get the same allergic reactions towards cats and dogs too. Taking Allergra and other allergy meds only decreased the magnitude of allergic reactions only. The best way to resolve my allergies is no contact with any animal and remove any of their presence around my living areas. This is why it will be a dealbreaker if a partner refuses to let go of their pet. With my health and allergies, I will be tormented daily.

[@Faith12996]

As a pet lover who also has a lot of allergies, if my partner suffered as badly as this i was first try a room solely dedicated to the cat so the rest of the apartment is cat free. If that didnt work and my parents lived nearby, I would ask them to care for the cat and just visit often. When you care about someone, you have to be willing to make sacrifices

[@kellywaters643]

that is the most effective thing to do

[@Joce-bl7qi]

@ Faith12996 Good suggestion! I didn’t hear anyone else make the one room point. Of course it’s not ideal but it does show compromise.

[@agentzapdos4960]

That sounds cruel to the cat to keep it trapped in one room away from everyone all the time. This is a fundamental incompatibility. These people should not be together, full stop. This is like a Jew and a Nazi being together, or a dolphin and an eagle being together. It's just unnatural.

[@bug-in-a-rug]

@@agentzapdos4960 did you just compare someone with allergies to a pet and a pet owner to a Nazi and a Jew???

[@kellywaters643]

@@agentzapdos4960 that is a horrible comparison for a number of reasons and not remotely appropriate

[@MusketeerGweneth]

I was/am allergic to cats but as a kid I had an older adult sibling who owned a cat and could not be talked into getting rid of his precious baby, Blaire. I wanted a cat so much and then I rescued my darling baby, giving her to any one was out of the question and now I am not really affected at all any more. I sneeze sometimes but that is a manageable price for being Phoebe's pet hooman. 😸

[@fantasystaplesuwu1554]

S1: I'm very glad my partner is not allergic to my cat, because if my partner wanted my cat gone, it would be my partner that gets to leave. I adopted my cat to give him a forever home, not to just give him away when it's too inconvenient. When you adopt a living creature, they become your family.

[@Aisene0910]

I have to admit that listening to story 1 with my cat sitting on my chest made it so much better 😸

[@BettaFishDaybook]

Story 1: I hope they have a significant vet bill fund. Purina Liveclear, and Purina in general, is a bad food. The first five ingredients of the senior Chicken food (because that’s what they’d have to have 8+ year old Riley on) are: Chicken, Poultry By-product Meal, Corn Gluten Meal, Rice, Cassava Root Flour. The only good ingredient is the chicken. We don’t even know what animal(s) the “poultry” is, let alone what parts they’re using and the quality. Add to that the fact that it’s a kibble would put Riley at higher risk for health problems like diabetes, kidney problems and UTIs. There does not appear to be a canned food version available, which would be one step above its dry equivalent (Purina Pro Plan Canned > Purina Pro Plan Dry). The regular bathing can also cause problems for a non-hairless cat. Just like human health problems don’t change the fact that declawing is wrong and harmful, allergies don’t change the fact that cats are obligate carnivores from the desert who struggle to keep themselves hydrated if they’re not getting their moisture from their food, can’t really digest plant-based food if it hasn’t been partially digested by their prey and aren’t equipped to handle getting wet. The best thing for everyone would be for them to break up or live apart. Nobody is happy or healthy in this situation.

[@leaflet1686]

Story 1: Dude... You don't fit together!

[@DarkCape64]

I'm really baffled at how Jess in story 2 made OP look like an AH when she slept with a married man while seeing said man's brother? Even if she can sell they weren't a thing, how the heck did she twist a knife and make OP look bad?

[@crazyminegamer2339]

My mum has a severe allergy to cats - specifically their fur as far as I know. I’m a big cat person and an even bigger dog person, and I’d like to one day have both as pets. However, I would never force my mother to stay in my home with my cat because of her allergy. Were I OP’s girlfriend, I would’ve begun working on moving out the moment I realised/found out OP is allergic to cats. I would never make my partner suffer when they live with me if they’re allergic to any of my pets and I’m disgusted by the people having a go at OP for “not trying hard enough” when it’s clear he doesn’t want the cat around because his allergic reactions are becoming more and more severe. With all of that in mind, I would never give up my babies. We’d just have to live separately or, if it didn’t seem like us being a couple was possible in the future, go our seperate ways.

[@samanthaholness8151]

I'm allergic to dogs where my eyes get watery and itchy but it's gotten a bit worse to where I start getting short of breath and I need my inhaler. We've never owned a dog because we've always been cat people. Funny since my brother is allergic to cats and he's got asthma too but he's on top of his reactions. I get it but sometimes it's just not going to work out.

[@Tsitak420]

Story 1- I understand your side but I also understand hers. I always had cats growing up but realized when I was older I had allergies towards cats/dogs( when I was younger I was sick often so I think I thought it was just that). I haven’t had an allergy test but I am sensitive to their fur, as I get stuffy/ itchy/ sneezing constantly even if I’m on the other side of the room and the fur is in the air. But, my mom still has our 10 year old cat who’s been around since I was 10. I couldn’t imagine asking her to get rid of him. But I understand it makes it hard.

[@Chantal_P-v4x]

Story 1 - no one is in the wrong in this one. GF has every right to own a cat. And OP can't help his allergies to them. This is sadly thouhg, likely an incompatibility issue and one with no ideal solution.

[@HarryVibes36]

Nah. The only AH here is the fucking commenters. Look at how his update is phrased. It’s obvious he just got pressured to appease his gf with no strings attached. Hate that site

[@charmoz292]

I have my 2 beautiful dogs & 2 lovely cats & I have to say there is no way I would give them up. They are all my best buddies!

[@MissAllWednesday]

I have pretty bad cat allergies, so basically dating anyone with one has been a huge no and non-negotiable for me. You have no peace when you can't breathe in a place that should be your safe-space. Have nothing against the cats, but I really sympathize with my allergy tortured pals. I also have lesser reactions to dogs, but even that became a problem at one point in a previous relationship. It got so bad till the point that my ex-husband would bully me to just get over it and to use exposure shots (which in themselves were too expensive for me and are not 100% guaranteed either way). It caused such a huge rift in our relationship, because I felt like no one was listening to me or even caring about physical reactions happening to my body. My mental health plummeted and I began to think it was my fault and that there was something wrong with me. Even though, my ex basically said he'd get more dogs without my consent. Being in pain is so not worth it and a lot of these Reddits are insensitive. They wouldn't react in such a way if a person had food/peanut allergies, yet for some reason when it comes to those with animal allergies, people afflicted are somehow lesser.

[@Azulakayes]

Story 2: It is nauseating hearing all these stories about people dating/hooking up with/marrying their siblings' exes or current partners etc. What is wrong with people? I know we have different values but what is the end game when someone does such a thing...the family shatters and hatred festers. Is there any other outcome? Why do that with all the millions/billions of humans available...I just find it abhorrent.

[@paulinadeboer3604]

I wonder how long OP is married. Some woman love to sleep with married man.

[@Alahyana]

This is why I used to present my cats to all the people I went out, in fact two relationships didn't work because, even though they were not allergic, one said no cats if we decided to continue our relationship and the other guy was super jealous of my cats, he wanted my 100% attention all the time. Now that I'm 43 yo I see the red flags I didn't see that time and my cats saved me, one was super controling in everything and the other was totally emotionally dependent on me and I wonder how would he reacted if we had kids!

[@impandagrl3974]

Wow! As an *animal person* I have come across plenty of people who are *not animal people*. I think op described the difference well from his perspective that he just doesn't see animals the same way. He has a fine relationship with the cat and enjoyed his dog, but just - could take them or leave them and couldn't comprehend the magnitude of what he was asking of his partner. I don't think I've ever come across a non-animal person, however who was so committed to loving the animal lover in his life that he could see that even though he didn't feel for the cat that way that she did, and even though he couldn't fully understand it, he was willing to put in so much extensive work and effort to try to make it work - especially after she had agreed to arrange for the cat to move out. It is very nice to see both people in the relationship able to see past the conflict, try to see things from the other person's perspective, and work towards being happy together. I really hope things work out well for them and of course for Riley

[@minnakivela492]

Story1. I understand My 'sister' IS really Bad allergy and not just to cat. She can't breath If there is Animal same Room that she is. Even If they stay other Room and doors is closed, she still get red eyes. But My Brother also knew this before they got married

[@chasefrost1401]

The cat story, they love each other a lot if they're willing to go through such trouble for each other.

[@Cheshyre.]

My cousin married a WONDERFUL man from England who is miserably allergic to cats. He loves her so much that he gave up a small bedroom to house the cat in, because he doesn't want her heart broken. Simple. As.

[@annanas9122]

12:43 honestly, I think maybe she should have found another place to live in the meantime. That would be best. Because imho the cat takes priority here, she's been there for 8 years and is a beloved companion, bf only was there for 2, they're not engaged or have children or anything.

[@ttrev007]

my sister had really severe pet allergies and lived with cats and dogs for years. She took allergie meds and shots. they worked really well

[@LorienInksong]

Situation 1 just sucks for everyone. I wish people had been kinder to OP, he's trying so hard and you can tell even if he doesn't 100% get it he recognizes how important Riley is.

[@lilolmecj]

The kitty cat, that was a tough one! But NTA, everyone is trying to find a solution.

[@peachesnsht]

Uff the cats allergy. I had a boyfriend who loves cats and has a mild allergy to them, he was ok with some loratadine and he loved our fur baby BUT, now that I have 6 cats, I always have loratadine in handy and always let my guests know before hand that I have cats so we can decide if it's ok for them to come or if it's better if I go to their place. I think NAH in that story.

[@brigidtheirish]

She didn't have to fly off the handle at him. She'd prefer he break up and kick her out immediately instead of try to find a solution? Dad grew up with cats and I don't think he ever imagined his life without them before meeting Mom. She's allergic, so no cats.

[@thebigmystery7841]

Never been this early, so have a good day everyone! Lots of love to this community! 💜

[@SharmClucas]

People who don't have them underestimate what it means to have allergies. They make him ill every time he reacts, and yeah it's just making him miserable now, but it's EXTREMELY common for allergies to suddenly worsen. He could just suddenly stop breathing in the middle of the night, and the girlfriend could easily not notice in time. I'm annoyed he was pegged as the jerk by Reddit. How dare he want to be safe from a life threating problem in his own home?!