I Called My Former Bully BEYOND REPULSIVE After He Tried Hitting On Me r/Relationships

[@gostavoadolfos2023]

One of my HS bullies approached me a year ago at the gym and he genuinely apologized to what he did to me and asked me if we can turn a new page and be gym buddies. My answer was : thank you for the apology, please don't talk to me again. He immediately left and never showed his face at the gym.

[@kerrylynn7139]

That is exactly how it should be handled. The bully sincerely apologized and respected your boundaries

[@catherinecox573]

If he justified bullying OP cause he likes her, he'd justify abuse with that same logic. "I only lash out at you because i love you" type nonsense.

[@nyxx5357]

Yes! I am SO glad OP didn't fall for it. That guy needs to work on himself. If he had changed at all, he would have known how OP felt about him, and would have left her alone.

[@Godsthetics]

Honestly I don't think that was at all what was happening. From her story, he didn't want to tell her, but she pressed (as she should) and he provided an awnser. I hardly feel like he tried to use it as a cop-out or hail Mary asking her out going by OP's story. I think the guy might genuinly feel bad as he definitely should.

[@geoffreyrodgers5373]

I mean, she said the bullying happened around when they were preteens. kids don't know how to express romantic feelings they tease (and in this case bully) just for some interaction. it's world's different from a cold manipulator beating and stalking his wife because he "loves her" one is ignorance, one is deliberate cruel control.

[@MatildeVallespinCasas]

​@@geoffreyrodgers5373however, he is 18 now and should know that that behaviour was not acceptable. If he had minimal social skills, he should know by now that this is not school anymore and that asking anybody out is a récipe for disaster

[@TarisLuna]

​@@geoffreyrodgers5373it started when they are preteens, but went on until year 11, almost done with school.

[@taylorslade961]

Story 1: I've heard this one before and I'm still shocked that no one picked up on the fact that the bully showed up in OPs same exact program AND residence hall at a college a couple hours from their hometown. Coincidentally. Oh, and he just so happened to have a thing for her, its such a coincidence that they're at the same school in the same program. Such a small world.

[@BelBelle468]

It could be a coincidence. OP’s friends did say he suspects he would’ve said that to any of them seeing as he bullied all of them.

[@ddavis8988]

It's actually very normal for a kid who likes another kid to pick on them. Pretty much every girl that liked me in middle and high school made jokes about me.

[@middaydraws3379]

It's not really normal except in places it's openly encouraged at. Kids who are taught that you're nice to people you like don't bully them.

[@taylorslade961]

@@ddavis8988 You have missed the point! This kid from OPs hometown JUST SO HAPPENS (HEAVY SARCASM) to be in OPs SAME EXACT program and SAME EXACT residence and he's got a thing for her. Super duper coincidence.

[@taylorslade961]

@middaydraws3379 Another person that has completely avoided the point! I do not believe that this dude was there in OPs same exact program and residence hall by coincidence. It's too clean, it's too much of a coincidence. The world is not that small.

[@zachf748]

There’s a zero percent chance that his “helping Bob” excuse is true. His wife is in the hospital and his four year old child is home alone with a babysitter, and he decides to not go home all night, and then just go to work the next day, never going home to check on his daughter or even calling his wife to see if she would be discharged to go home to their daughter? There’s no chance that story is true, no chance. It’s just ludicrous.

[@puppetmasterey]

Right, and I'm sure the friend got a completely different story or is a complete degenerate like the husband. If that was any when in my family. There would be red rum charges.

[@ronhall5395]

They two guys were up to no good. Why not at least answer his phone. Why not at least read his texts? Nope, he was up to no good. Fortunately he did not argue when she told him to pack up and get out. Probably felt he Got off lightly for what ever it was he was actually doing. I like her attitude though. She was fed up, and dgaf what he was actually doing. He was not taking care of his family during a crisis, so he was useless.

[@Thecheezything]

Hard disagree with the comment on the first story saying they were close to saying OP was the AH cause she continued to talk to him. It sounded way more to me she never sought him out and was just polite to him whenever he went to talk to her. It’s an awkward situation to deal with and I wouldn’t be surprised if OP was trying to be as non confrontational as possible and allow her former bully to interact with her in what I honestly perceived based on her descriptions as one-sided conversations

[@SherriLyle80s]

I had a jerk who picked on my clothing in middle school (I was lower middle class so all my clothes were older style or hand me downs). A couple years later he approached me to get my phone number. I laughed at him and walked away.

[@Taecoconut]

Last story: husband was not with his friend - he’s cheating His friend is covering for him.

[@Iflie]

Or his friend is the affair partner. Who thinks "my wife is in hospital overnight, yay I can stay with my cheating partner!" instead of taking care of their 4 year old. I hope he gets stuck paying a ton of alimony

[@tonyblake7569]

Maybe, but it's possible he's just an ahole. There's plenty of stories where someone abandons their family, not because they're cheating but they decided they were happier acting like they were single than they had their family. If his friend was covering I'd think he'd have used a better excuse, like his mom had a heart attack or something, not his mom had a bad cold.

[@babamoeensam7.1.14]

Or he was building an art room 😉🤣🤣🤣

[@Taecoconut]

@@babamoeensam7.1.14 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@Iflie]

@@babamoeensam7.1.14 Always thought nr1!

[@kaykay8855]

Story 1: why do bullies pull the ‘I was only mean/bully you because I liked you.’

[@Rohab20]

They watch too much anime

[@chaseashley6775]

@@Rohab20trying to be a tsundere

[@ivorynk752]

@@Rohab20 That was something teachers would also say, in grade school.

[@kaykay8855]

@@ivorynk752 it’s something parents say too.

[@Rohab20]

@@ivorynk752 wait seriously?

[@Some_Idiot_on_the_Internet]

Ah, the faint hint of self-awareness from a creep. This is going to be a VERY painful period of growth for him if he can keep it up.

[@TheJadedJames]

I mean, he just has to only pursue girls he DIDN’T bully in high school to not have this problem again.

[@dream6562]

I'd say the growth already happened its just the consequences remain

[@AllenTax]

I say he could have been emotional & physically abused at least in at least school time. Still no excuse.

[@dream6562]

@AllenTax we need to stop thinking like this, sometimes kids bully because they haven't been had a moment of empathy, it's really easy for kids to bully without giving it a second thought some grow out of it as they learn it or they stay a little turd

[@LunaP1]

Story 1, Thomas is still a scumbag. Bullies that grow up but never apologize first thing to their victims are still bullies or trying to hide other deplorable behavior that got worse. And he has the nerve to make excuses instead of apologizing and leaving OP alone.

[@chasefrost1401]

It's like a bad sitcom. And she was polite because she didn't want any issues in the gym. But he doesn't understand hints.

[@Phantombucketmouse]

And because women are conditioned to be "nice" bc you never know when a dudes is going to go off like a claymore.@@chasefrost1401

[@dionysus_adores]

Agreed don't ask the person you bullied out and claim you liked them all along and that's why you bullied them. What a CREEP

[@johnbradbury8610]

NTA its called standing up for yourself. I wonder what OP expected when she kept talking to him.

[@thatonearoace]

@@johnbradbury8610 I think the only reason she kept talking to him was to just avoid issues since she’d have a much harder time fully getting away now than before if he started being a problem again

[@trashotaku]

Honestly, good on OP in the second story for knowing her self-worth and dumping the dude who basically abandoned her in a hospital to potentially bleed out

[@browhattheactualfu-2659]

The commenter that was tempted to call op an AH for speaking to him is bonkers. I hate when commenters do the "YTA to yourself" bit, it just seems so victim blamey. I wouldn't speak to my past bully but it's pretty obvious op did it because she was afraid of his reaction. You can't really ignore someone you have both not a good past when you share a class.

[@Alissandre_Iskander]

I think in most cases it's uncalled for. Sometimes, there are scenarios where the OP absolutely knows that they're with someone that's no good for them and make excuses or continue being with that person. At that point, they absolutely are being a-holes to themselves.

[@strawberrysangria1474]

Exactly, and showing decency is not for the bully, that's because we are strong, polite people. However, the bully is dumb to shoot his shot when he knows what he did. He's been her abuser in the past, he's not going to be her abuser in the future.

[@jaymel4691]

Yeah, that was awful. OP was not an AH for being the bigger person and trying to be polite and non-confrontational in public as she would to any other stranger. He was the AH for continually seeking her out and trying to talk to her, when it sounds like he did all the talking and paid very little actual attention to her as a person. He ignored all the signs she was busy, didn't want his help, didn't want to talk to him, etc. Thomas was selfish and stupid throughout the whole story and OP tried to be a decent person, but when he kept imposing his unwanted presence on her she finally had to be rude because he wasn't getting the message. He refused to see anything beyond his own dick until she finally got fed up and had to spell it out for him.

[@johnbradbury8610]

Sometimes people on this post need to hear it. When they act like simps, take back cheaters, or when adults still let their parents tell them what to do.

[@johnbradbury8610]

@@jaymel4691 The fact that Op asked AITA was pretty stupid, yeah Op you should just keep talking to your bully for the rest of the year.

[@HackiePuffs]

Ladies I’ve said it before I’ll say it again in case you need this in the future: if they’re not respecting your boundaries why should you respect them?? Don’t worry if you’re being “too mean” or not if the guy doesn’t back off then get firm. “He does seem like he’s making a genuine effort to not be like how he used to be” hey Callow you’d think that he would know that it would be best not to jump to asking her out so quickly if he really WAS trying to be genuine.. “I’m inclined to say she was TA because she kept talking to him” I’m inclined to say this rape victim was TA because she still kept talking to the guy before he violated her in his car. Gtfo what the heck are some of these comments??!

[@vlionheart]

The bully probably: Nothing is as romantic as severe childhood trauma. Grade A idiot that one.

[@deballen7031]

That last story really spoke to me and I congratulate OP for her strength of character. I wish all the luck in the world and a wonderful life for her and her daughter. Keep your pecker up, OP as better times are coming to you.😊

[@immapotato1]

dude was definitely with his mistress

[@deballen7031]

​@@immapotato1 I must admit that's what I thought upon hearing the insipid excuse from the husband's friend.

[@ynmonroe]

@@immapotato1 That or the "friend" is more than a friend and that's why he was their for support in a situation that didn't warrant it.

[@AM-cv9fi]

OMG that bully was hoping for a romcom ending where his bullying would be interpreted by her as nothing but hijinks and they'd profess their love to eachother

[@Ospyro3em]

Story 2- either Bob was covering for husband, or I sense another "art room" situation between husband and Bob.

[@Hevensdemonddm]

I saw the final update, it is an art room

[@annhans3535]

@@Hevensdemonddm Really? Oh wow.

[@red0421]

I just love how "art room" is now code for "a historian on Ancient Greece would call them great friends" Or the Sailor Moon "They're cousins" thing.

[@sgm8265]

"I can't come to the hospital. Bob's art room is almost finished."

[@deathberryjam907]

I was bullied by one girl in elementary, but the rest of the class followed along, except for like...2 people who WERE my friends. Well, we went to different middles and beginning of high schools. Until around Sophmore or Junior year, and then 2 of them came to my school. Bully ignored me (literally, we had one class together, she didnt say a single word to me), but seemed shocked when she saw me and I just smiled at her. Another gal from the same class, who didn't really do much to me, but didnt help either. Came up to me in the hallway one day.. Shes like "Are you So-So from School?" "Yeah...Why?" Her: "Im X from same school, we had a class together, and I just wanted to apologize for anything I did back then." "You literally did nothing, its alright, but thank you for apologizing :) " She was friends with Bully back then, and I dont know if they still were or if Bully pushed her out or whatever happened...But I was just happy someone saw how I was treated back them and felt bad...Some people CAN change, but only if they want to change. 99% of the time though, they dont.

[@starbird3939]

Story 1 Bullies are not owed forgiveness-let alone a fucking DATE. The fact the Op did everything to avoid him politely-he basically bugged her. The update just makes him a bigger scumbag. No. Bullying for attraction is still bullying.

[@momo382844]

Bro just wants some ass, that’s all. All bullies are “so sorry” whenever their former victims become more palatable in their eyes, i.e. attractive or rich.

[@MrJpaynebb]

The boys and even some girls teasing their crush as kids in preschool or elementary school is understandable because little kids have trouble expressing themselves sometimes. That's the behavior they are suppose to transition from before high school though. He was doing this as a teenager in high school and that's not cool or excusable at that age.

[@TheJadedJames]

@@MrJpaynebb For me … I can believe that someone who was an asshole in high school and become a decent person as an adult. But as an adult, if you don’t have the self-awareness to get that someone you mistreated when you were younger might not want to be your friend and especially wouldn’t want to date you … that means you’re still an asshole. The guy in Story 1 was still harassing her, even if he fails to see it that way

[@geoffreyrodgers5373]

​@TheJadedJames how was he an asshole? he tried to talk to her, after she blew up he went hat in hand to apologise for his actions.

[@TheJadedJames]

@@geoffreyrodgers5373 He asked a girl out who he used to bully. It is straightforward what I’m criticizing him for. He should have been leaving her alone

[@TheTrueKarin]

In My Home Country it gives the stupid saying ,,A boy being mean means he just don‘t know how to word his feelings.“ One time a boy was bullying me and even so the teachers told me he just has a little crush on you - it did not stop me from beating his ass.😅

[@trashotaku]

First story before the update: NTA, apparently OP’s roommate is also “dumb as 💩” as well if she thinks harshly rejecting the guy who bullied her throughout middle school and half of high school makes her an @$$. Victims aren’t required to forgive and make amends with their former bullies, especially ones that didn’t even properly apologize. After the update: Still NTA. I know the whole “bully and their victim becoming lovers” is a popular sub-trope of the enemies-to-lovers trope and when done right it, it feels natural. But that’s fiction and this is real life. Thomas admitting he bullied Op for so long because he had a crush on her is a MASSIVE red flag. It screams “because I used mental violence towards you to get you to like me, I’ll also use the same sort of violence to make you stay in a relationship with me”. Good on OP for having none of Thomas’s bs and hopefully he’ll stay away.

[@ZombieSazza]

Second story it sounds like her husband is with a mistress, he really didn’t care about his wife or children at all and he showed OP how little he cared and respected his wife and family. She was sent to HOSPITAL and all he could say was “lol no hanging with my bro”. I’m wondering if his best bro is actually his affair partner, worth looking into as he puts his friend above his wife and child, that or his best bro is fully aware of an affair and covering for him. The whole situation is sus AF. I also hope OP finds a doctor that isn’t useless, she deserves a doctor who isn’t a rude POS.

[@johnbradbury8610]

Story 2, shows why its a bad idea to keep having children with AHs

[@smalcal6365]

​@@johnbradbury8610😑

[@AJ-qe5xj]

In the last story OP basically didn’t have a husband present in her and the kids life anyways, divorce just means maybe having to stretch $ a little more/get a job but he will be liable for support and probably won’t go for full custody because he can’t care to give one care

[@aduckofsomesort]

How is it no a holes here? He kept pushing after she said no. No means no.

[@chasefrost1401]

You'd be shocked at the few bullies I've had when I meet them again in adult life, say they had brain damage and can't remember highschool. But then forget they said that to me and bring something up from highschool with someone else. Then again I'm bigger than I was in highschool so they might have been afraid I want revenge. Fuckin losers. And (back to the story here) "Because I liked you in HS and didn't know what to do" crap is probably a little worse because he just doesn't know how to act around other people. An ignorant fool.

[@adjwindu70]

Story 1. Guy thought he was in an anime. 😂

[@vidhead85]

Thomas and update: NTA and we need to stop telling boys to pick on the girls they like it is maddening to hear that and creepy. If a bully ever said that to me I would be even more disgusted at them than the years of torment. 🤮 Actions have consequences, and now you're getting them

[@runeingebretsen8378]

S1: He is so clueless he didn't even notice she was not interested,and he would not leave her alone,the desperation dripped from every pore on his body,and he was bordering on obsession,this is the behavior of a predator,trust me on this women,stay far away from men like this.

[@kerrylynn7139]

He didn't see she wasn't interested because her feelings were irrelevant to him. He felt entitled to her, then and now, and his behavior reflects that. To him she's an object, a pocession, not a real person with feelings.

[@runeingebretsen8378]

@@kerrylynn7139 Her mistake with him was she talked to him,instead of telling him she was not in to him,and as long as she talked to him,he convinced himself he could just talk to her to wear her down,to get her in bed,if he don't ask for your phone number the first time,by the second time,tell him to get lost.

[@emilycolbert2852]

Sadly I saw this growing up too. I had a" friend" back in 5th grade, the only year I knew her, that would chase this kid around the playground trying to kick him. I asked her why and told her to stop. She said she was crushing on him. Idk why it's a thing but it seems to be some people think it's games and not hurtful as it really is.

[@shadowdemon2272]

Story 1: my guess is that Thomas asked OP out because he views OP has beneath him or views himself as "out of her league", so taking her out on a date is "doing her a favor" and will definitely make up for their past (instead of, ya know, actually acknowledging his actions and acting appropriately?). Maybe Thomas has really changed, but I sincerely doubt it; I'm also guessing he was used to being the big fish in the small pond and having people hang out/fawn over him all the time in HS, and now that he's in the big world people dgaf about him and no one knows/idolizes him, which is why he defaulted to talking to the first familiar face he could find, even if that face (rightfully) despises him. His apology also sounds like he said it for his own benefit and peace of mind, not for OP's, which isn't how apologies work...

[@DisneyChar]

S2 nta. He deserved nothing when his reason was "busy", and then he got 100 times worse.

[@supergeeky7529]

bullies ARE repulsive.

[@florian4033]

story one... Speak your mind, people are supposed to get your hints, certainly not this guy... learn to set boundaries, only you can do that.

[@taylorslade961]

Story 2: Oh, honey, he's cheating.

[@catsncrows]

S1 I'd never go out with someone who bullied me because I've seen what they're capable of. How the heck would I know they wouldn't go back into evil mode? In fact I'm afraid he saw op and said (unconsciously) "yeah, I was awful to her, maybe she'll accept it in a relationship" but maybe I expect the worst out of people

[@Chlober_Official]

Who wants to bet that "Bob" is a euphamism for "beautiful other b****."

[@TheAuthorgal]

A child bullying their crush before they understand and then apologizing once they comprehend what they’re doing is one thing. A man lightly teasing his SO to a point she finds funny is one thing. Full on bullying for years is a sign you probably need some sort of counseling to ensure you don’t abuse your future partner.

[@stephanieoppon-kuntu1080]

Helga polutaki is the best example of what not do for crush

[@EluneAnzu]

Story 1: Even if he was bullying OP because he liked them it doesn't make it any better, in fact it makes him looks worse TBH, it's mentioned he also did this to OP's friends which means either A: he did this to to a lot of girls he liked, or B bullied innocent people because they were somewhat connected to OP (not saying OP isn't innocent in the matter too, just that it was it was an extra big scumbag move to bully others just because its your shitty way of expressing a crush).

[@marecort3697]

Story 2: my kid is 22, and is still my baby. He’ll still be my baby when he’s 50. (Don’t worry-he does have his own life. He has a lovely gf he lives with, and this mom doesn’t interfere.) But he’s still my baby. 😊

[@denises3630]

I woks up in such a bad mood today so thank you for the new video now i can be pissed off at complete strangers 😮

[@jaymel4691]

Story 1- OP is NTA at all. She wasn't giving Thomas hope by talking to him- she was being polite and he was the one who kept seeking her out. It also sounds like he did most of the talking and barely paid attention to whether she was interested or not. And then he had the nerve to interrupt her workout and offer his "help" that she never asked for! When she initially turned him down she was polite, but he still kept pushing. Of course she finally snapped, he was asking for it! Dude, take a hint! There were so many of them, lol! She shouldn't have to apologize for telling him off after he refused to take a polite "no" for an answer and go away! Good for him for trying to be better, but he needs to go and be better to other people and leave OP alone. He was only being nice to her because he really thought he could get a date with OP. And to me he didn't seem all that nice, just pushy and obnoxious. OP tried all the polite ways she could to show she wasn't interested BEFORE she finally had to snap at him. He might not be a bully anymore but he's still a selfish ass, and a complete idiot. Update: Yeah, Thomas is still a jerk. He was still trying to get OP to give him a chance. He was STILL imposing his presence on her after he knew she hated him. He should not STILL have been shocked at her anger, especially after that long speech about how sorry he was and how bad he was back then. What a dick. He keeps saying how bad he was and how sorry he is not because he is actually that sorry, but because he still wants OP to sleep with him at some point. Gross. Hope he finally gets the message. If he tries to talk to OP again, she should just walk away.

[@maurer3d]

Story 2 (before update): NTA, in an emergency like this you drop what you are doing and do your best to get wherever you are needed. It isn't like he was at work in a meeting that would have cost him his job if he left immediately. Story 2 (update 1): I don''t believe the "friends" story at all. It makes absolutely no sense. If his mom got a cold or flu, he should have taken her to a doctor, not called a random friend. This sounds like a cover story for an affair. Story 2 (final update): Be sure to get STD screened, just in case hubby was cheating, as that could contribute to your current health issues.

[@momop1848]

Love these videos! The chosen comments are always fantastic. Also, the narration is just very well done.

[@boi1796]

A few girls bullied because they liked me. Never understood why cuz their actions spoke something entirely different. Congrats on you OP and I’m glad he respected you and kept his distance

[@pollyc.1957]

I've had several bullies. Thank GOD the one who tried to kill me never pulled something like this, but the one who once humiliated me in class by pointing out that I had zero sex appeal, and nothing attractive about me in 8th grade, was the one who followed me to class to ask me out for a few days running in 9th grade. He was honestly surprised that his charm didn't phase me, or win him any points with me. It was appalling.

[@elijahhayter3026]

“Because I liked you?” What a bunch of poorly written tsundere bs. Who seriously thinks actively hurting people is a sign of affection?!

[@benjie128]

Before i had a hysterectomy, i went through several doctors to fix my issue (doctor #5 i broke down in the first mtg bc i was near having a psychotic episode over having a near constant period for 3 years. I was borderline anemic. And the only reason i wasnt was bc i was taking a full multivitamin with iron plus a second dosage of iron supplements and ate iron rich food at least every other day.

[@satansecretary665]

last story, two words, art room

[@sleepyearth]

It's so illogical for the bully to bully her because he likes her.

[@maurer3d]

Story 1: Justified AH, It would have been better to just tell him you have no interest in being more than cordial, but in all honesty there is no way to know if he would have taken the hint, hence the justified AH. Obviously he was an an AH when he was actively bullying you and no you do not bully anyone let alone someone you are attracted too (unless maybe you are 5 and grew up in a repressive misogynistic household).

[@troubleinthevalley5884]

So she doesn't get an apology unless he goes out with her and he believed her because he liked her? Yeah, this dude hasn't changed at all. Also that's a great point about bullying the friends. Does that mean he had crushes on all of them? Okay then. Like I said, not buying it.

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

Weird looking pumpkins in the background.

[@nonamenoface3654]

They're the goodest of pumpkins.

[@errantwinds-up8uu]

I love this background, it's adorable!

[@TaliPolk]

Also ran into an older brother of one of the notorious bullies in my grade and we were chatting and I summoned the guts to just tell him ojt right that his brother was a huge bully to people and did some really heinous shit when we were younger and he just brushed it off as kids being kids. The guy is also a huge whiny loser.

[@Girl-Supersonicboy]

I had a former bully who I found out later liked me. we would butt heads, he'd call me names, and all sorts of nasty things. He then left school one day and I thought I never see him again. Then later in highschool he showed back up. He even changed his name (not trans) and tried talking to me when he saw me playing on my DS at lunch. I was never rude to him, but by my actions he clearly got the message that there was *never* going to be anything between us; friends or relationship. This trope boys have created (and one fueled by adults) needs to come to an end. teach your sons to not treat people they have feelings for like crap. Heck, that shouldn't just apply to people you like. Just be nice to everyone; at the very least polite

[@Ookamikage13]

Story 1: The problem with the bully is that men don’t know how to understand what no means - What a denial is. You give them an inch and they’ll take a mile, or worse, k-word you. How horrible that the former bully doesn’t know to leave them Op alone with the excuse of “liking” them.

[@Center-For-I.E.D.Mismanagement]

Quite the over-generalization of men.

[@joeyjojojrshabadoo7462]

​@@Center-For-I.E.D.MismanagementI don't think this is gender thing. Look how many Romcom amine have it

[@scarletshadows459]

Story 2: WTF?! Your husband can’t come to to you while you’re in the hospital?! Or even go home to his daughter?! If I txted my bf rn I’m headed to the hospital and I’m scared, he would leave work early to be with me.

[@ravenfox926]

Last story: sounds more like adenomyosis to me.

[@ZombieSazza]

OP your bully deserves being roasted to hell and back, he harassed you, bullied you, was constantly horrible to you, was incredibly hurtful towards you, and now he wants to constantly push and talk to you like he never treated you horrendously, acts like he’s your friend and didn’t ever acknowledge the harm he’s caused you. He deserved being dragged to hell and back, he is so unaware of the harm he’s caused to you and doesn’t seem to care about how his bullying has damaged you. He NEVER apologised to you and after pushing and pushing you snapped, your roommate telling you that you were mean is a muppet, he deserved being told straight up to his face and he needs to see the damage he actually caused.

[@whitneylivingston5706]

As a former fifth grade teacher… my first response was that in middle school he totally had a crush on her because what little boy knows how to deal with liking a girl. He gets old enough to realize he’s not doing himself any favors and changed. I’m not sure how bad the bullying truly was, but I’ve seen boys in early puberty be pretty nasty to the girls and when confronted about it they tried to “ask the girl out”, it never ended well. I was not surprised in the least when she found out he’s always liked her.

[@LunaP1]

I call bs on that excuse. He hasn't changed.

[@Center-For-I.E.D.Mismanagement]

Does not explain why he bullied OP's friends too.

[@ivorynk752]

Still kind of unreasonable for them to expect the target of their torment to just forget about it

[@Center-For-I.E.D.Mismanagement]

@@ivorynk752 Not just thoroughly unreasonable, it's downright idiotic.

[@DullestStar9299]

*GASP* A dreaded "boys will be boys" comment!

[@burntblonde2925]

Being a stay at home mom, seems to be a very vulnerable place

[@Artem2034]

Story 1 - something similar happened to me a few years back. For context: she never apologized because I suspect she thinks that I'm the unreasonable one to misunderstand her intentions. I was bullied in HS by this one girl. Then I've met her casually while I was out shopping, and we talked for a bit. She asked me if I wanted to go to the concert with her when I tried to end the conversation. I bluntly said NO because I wasn't interested in even being her friend at that point. She of course was shocked and appalled that I had to be so rude about it. I asked her what did she think would be my answer, considering I didn't want anything to do with her after how she treated me in HS. Her answer? "It's because I liked you, you idiot". Yeah, she liked me so much, my backpack being thrown in the toilet was a weekly ritual for her. I told her she was a psychopath if she thought doing things like trying to push me down the stairs or throwing mud at me was a reasonable course of action to express how much she liked me.

[@josepherhardt164]

16:25 Bob and hubs are building an art room.

[@SpookyMissLuna]

I'm loving these backgrounds

[@juanhaines7295]

Good day to everyone

[@alexoceanmeow]

Story 1: I was bullied a lot in high school (all verbal except this particular bully stole my ipod one year) and at graduation and afterward, most of them acted like they had no idea they were a-holes. One of the girl bullies was like "lots of the boys liked you," and then she and one other girl all but said that my closed off-ness kept people from talking to me. Like it was my fault i was closed off. The girl who stole my ipod saw me at a Sonic in a town I lived in, got out of her car to come and speak to me and had a surprise Pikachu face when I immediately left after I got my order, just rolling up my window and driving off. I wouldn't even p!ss on my bullies if they were on fire. And they will go all their lives not realizing just how shitty they are. How scarring they are. I was hounded and berated into being a near mute during school hours that when a boy from my high school saw me having fun at a bar, he looked at me like I was an alien. Bullies don't get it even if they think they're sorry.

[@livewellwitheds6885]

thomas has not turned a new leaf. he is not entitled to a relationship with anyone ESPECIALLY people he used to bully. i have personally been a victim of bullying for years, and bullies truly dont understand the long lasting impacts of their actions. if he wants to make things right, Thomas has to understand he cannot force a relationship.

[@sydneykloba7827]

Story two: kinda beside the point, but I think OP’s doctors are huge AHs. ‘Nothing’ wrong with reproductive organs doesn’t mean there isn’t anything wrong. Needing a blood transfusion bc you’re hemorrhaging is BAD! They can’t go through that every month, and to let that happen is failing the Hippocratic oath. Def talk about continuous BC, I’ve been doing that for years and it has probably saved my life. Cheers to OP’s iron spine as well; I hope I can learn to be that assertive and good with upholding boundaries

[@QuayHollywood]

That last story: I have symptoms like OPs not as sever but the constant bleeding the low iron etc and i have had every test ran on me cause no one can understand whats going on. I get a PCOS test done soon and a uterine biopsy and i hope they find out whays going on. I also hope op gets some answers because its a scary situation. Im survivin on birth control but who want to take pills every day for the rest of their menstrual years.

[@thesixthkid7689]

I remember the first story, I had said that that kind of behavior is normal for kids and preteens because as kids we're not very mature about our feelings. As a 17 and 18 year old though, Tom hasn't matured enough to actually understand what he's saying.

[@funtimegenshin6973]

I traumatized my bully he wont even look at me

[@Russman67]

I was mean to you because I liked you. This is easily the dumbest idea ever. Perfectly normal when you're five, but that's about it. The fact that he still using this line of logic in college tells us all how much he's matured over this time. 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♀️🤦

[@jossilyns]

OP 1 is classless and bitter. Yes he bullied her by her perspective but she also said 1. She heard he matured and turned over a new leaf 2. Kept engaging with him over SEVERAL weeks 3. At no single point did she raise her confusion, concern or boundary over those several weeks 3. When he tried to deepen the friendship she brutally insulted him (sounds familiar) Instead of putting a firm boundary in place .. not this "now isn't a good time" crap. So yes she is the AH. Omg and he apologised in year 11!! Yyp

[@Center-For-I.E.D.Mismanagement]

Bully sympathizer.☝ He did not apologize.

[@TheJadedJames]

Story 1 : That guy is still an asshole. If he’d really changed, he’d be too embarrassed to talk to a girl he bullied in high school, never mind bold enough ask her out on a date. Although “the axe forgets” probably applies a lot in this scenario as this dude likely thought what he did to this girl was no big deal, because it was no big deal to HIM, after whatever small apology he gave for it back in the day

[@BloodSunBlast]

Story two: he's having an affair and using his bff for his cover

[@RobertWilson-p1t]

Op better lock her will op. If something happens that fool of husband will abandon the daughter and run off with Bob and the money.

[@runeingebretsen8378]

S1: A bully never stops being a bully,he is only "nice" because he wants her in the bed,if she moves in with him,he will be abusive towards her,stay away from men like this.

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

I’ll give Thomas credit for at least trying and making some progress but he still has a ways to go. Seems like he still lacks honesty. It’s easy to label him off as trash but I think he should have a chance at redemption. Not saying that OP should give him a chance, no, he needs to stay far away from her. I’m talking about the comments condemning Thomas as some irredeemable monster.

[@cindykq8086]

He could be on the autism spectrum and lack natural ability to interact appropriately. I have Aspergers and have to learn how to act in ways Neurotypicals do unconsciously.

[@opalanuitchoutte3038]

He is a creep. Then and now. She owes him nothing, nada, zip. She did good in the updates

[@telinhajp]

Good night, Markee! Wishing you a wonderful Wednesday!　 おやすみ！❤️😴

[@davidghahe6372]

Story 2 what 😂 a cold the mother had a cold

[@vampire9545]

Nta - did that commenter just wanna call op the AH because op was being polite with short answers? Wtf Nta and divorce - Wait said she had no job and now she's a teacher? N she blocked him? I feel this is immature at least

[@paulinejackson5861]

Story 1: Do not ever forgive men.

[@randomusername3873]

So, my question is always the same If him liking someone means he treats them horribly, what would he do to someone he doesn't like Murder their family in front of them?

[@LostCause-69]

Maybe Husband and Bob are more than just friends.

[@kathleengenieve3804]

The woman who went to the hospital and her husband did not support her or show up at the hospital. Abandoned her for the flimsy excuse that his buddy,*Bob" had a greater need than his wife that Bob's family emergency superseded the husband attending to his hospitalized wife. This is what I think, I think this woman's husband and Bob are lovers. I don't think there's another woman. I think she's doesn't have another woman problem. I think she has a bob problem and I think her husband is bobbing and weaving. Maybe when he married her he thought he was straight. He has since slid into being bisexual and frankly I think he's in love with Bob. Oh well. Better to know now and have another kid with a husband like that. Dump his fking ass. I found it interesting that when she confronted her husband he didn't give her any arguments whatsoever because something is definitely up whether it's another woman or it's. Bob, it's more than meets the eye and she is well rid of him. When her divorce attorney gets on Bob's ass, perhaps she could hire detective just to find out what the heck is really going on. A lot of states in the United States have no fault divorce. I don't know if that's the same situation throughout the entire country or the world, but it would be interesting for her to find out what the heck happened. I know I'd want to know.

[@justabunneh6490]

Can't focus, those yakuza shibas are dope

[@Masenken]

The thing is boys DO bully girls they like because they quite literally don't know how to express themselves, but it runs the whole gamut. They'll be just as nice as they are mean, and as they get older they'll realize what kind of cringe behavior they were expressing and profusely apologize if given the chance assuming no one had told them by that point how their actions/attitude were bad and needed to stop. So it's understandable but it comes with a HUGE asterisk.

[@LordMekenshi]

Second story: Maybe he was cheating on her, with Bob

[@kathleengenieve3804]

The and then wanted to date her when they were in college is really something else. As it was pointed out, he also bullied her friends so I don't think he wants to date all of her friends. I imagine some of her friends were even guys that was not made clear though. So his reason for bullying her was because he liked her? Really, REALLY? So if she was stupid enough to get involved with this character when he started beating her up, it would mean he was madly in love with her. Still clear this misogynistic asshole. Even if he's had an apocryphal revelation that ship sailed a long time ago. Take his lessons that he learned and try it on another gullible more than likely victim.

[@Ashakat42]

Story 2: Husband was cheating and I think it is was with "Bob."

[@n.g.l.]

I like you so I’m going to bully you. Bro what?

[@michaelwoods3651]

Story 2- 100% he’s cheating and Bob helped him to make up a story to cover it up.

[@TaliPolk]

God.... They always do that. The amkunt of dudes who used to treat terribly in middle school and high school always end up hitting you up on facebook to see if you'll date them. No Daniel. You called me friend a fat ugly pig and your friends would try to beat me up. You're repugnant to me.

[@maryjanedodo]

Blood loss lady needs ro ask if Tranexamic Acid might be suitable for her. Doctors are usually dismissive morons about menstruation.

[@NovaGirl8]

Story 2, are you even married at this point? You two are basically F. Buddies who share a kid. Not even roommates since a good roommate would show even a sliver of care for you almost bleeding out.

[@kiraalexandraruizburgos1236]

🦐

[@KadeStringer2.0]

I don’t think Bob was covering for op’s husband

[@ChocolateGiddy-Up]

Story 1; I'm not saying OP should have reacted any differently at all, but the comments are a little weird after the update. Seems pretty clear to me that he wasn't trying to justify his actions at all with what he said, just explain them to answer her question. Again, OP has every right to still be hurt and maintain distance, but the comments make it sound like he's some kind of snake who felt entitled to a date or forgiveness, when in reality, he seems to be doing everything right as of now; apologize sincerely, answer questions, and respect the wishes of your victim. He didn't push more for a date or friendship, or snap at her...hell, he even thanked her for the amount of grace he'd gotten so far. All former bullies should be that self-aware, and I applaud the person he's becoming, even if I hate the person he was.

[@Center-For-I.E.D.Mismanagement]

The point, is that OP's former bully *cannot, and does not deserve to be, trusted.*