AITA For Telling My Wife That I Can't Give Our Baby Fetal Alcohol Syndrome? r/Relationships

[@fallingawayfromthenorm]

Story 1 - You know… I forget that people can be so uneducated when it comes to sex and reproduction, this post is just… mentally exhausting. Shit like this reminds me of that guy who demanded his girlfriend get a DNA test to prove the baby was HER baby. MIL is a piece of work for assuming her oldest deciding to marry at 18 was because of sex ed, and then shielding OP’s wife from learning.

[@diamcole]

You’d honestly be surprised how common it is. I work in maternal health and my organization focuses on marginalized communities. The amount of general misinformation around sex, reproduction, etc. can be startling but makes sense when you consider the severe lack of resources.

[@sciguy98]

This is why I married a literal scientist. She's skeptical of anything that doesn't make sense and has backing evidence. Preferably peer-reviewed.

[@GiordanDiodato]

probably from Texas or Kentucky

[@nerdygeekgamer5528]

So OP'S wife thinks fetal Alcohol syndrome is caused by having intimacy when her husband is a little buzzed after consuming a few beers that's what her mom told and ingrained into her head no she needs to be the one to be drinking alcohol in order for fetal alcohol syndrome to work even I learned that in health science class

[@puppetmasterey]

​@@GiordanDiodatoKentucky here. If you said this in the city I live in, you'd get laughed out of the conversation. Maybe in Western Kentucky or up in the mountains. But even then that's DEEEEEP rural or mountains. I've been to some hollars with better education then her.

[@LivRogers-tw6oe]

I checked the comments for story 1 and he and his wife are taking a class at the hospital and looks like they are going no contact with the hyper religious mother.

[@chinavaughan6383]

I’m so happy to hear that!☺️

[@krossrenterainment1319]

Story 1: Um ma’am that’s not how the human body works

[@juliearmfield2634]

Oh bless her heart.😂

[@megnotmegan1966]

Oh honey no, just no

[@Lady.B0420]

She is kinda dumb huh? 😬

[@WyntheRogue]

I wouldn't blame her fully,it sounds like her toxic mum sheltered her aggressively and they need to go NC with her and the backstabbing aunt. She has crazy cultist/anti-science vibes.

[@lusynuplove2965]

This is what happens when you don't vet your partners. She probably shouldn't be having babies.

[@BlankPageEmperor1334]

The older sister is the real MVP, and I really feel for her, having to essentially blaze the trail for any other girls in the family to get away from their mom's manipulation.

[@megannason3649]

And the husband taking this seriously as it was very out of character for her

[@sonialinsey8083]

Yeah sister seems like she is normal; as a person who ran away at 19, I think I know why sis left so young.

[@ZombieSazza]

“Get me off this planet goddamnit” Bro take me with you plEASE

[@Feynix4]

Damn, that second story tho. He was raging at his wife, was constantly having help, making his kids late, and didn't pack their lunches for two days in a row? The dude's pathetic and probably nuked his marriage. What an idiot.

[@ameixsell]

Honestly sounds like he might have undiagnosed depression. The "I shouldn't be doing this" even though he had household chores when he was in middle/high school and his dad was Mr. Fix it. So it's not like he didn't experience doing chores. The kids being late is also a clue. People with depression suffer from a lack of will to do anything.

[@Ospyro3em]

Story 1 is a prime example of why both S*x ed and communication are very important.

[@antithoughtpolice7497]

Story 1: NTA. Wife accusses her husband of trying to hurt their baby, and insults his intelligence to the core... she needs to apologize for that, very seriously Update: Good she did that, and smart move to call sis. And PPD feels like a real possibility, glad it got brought up.

[@ruthhenderson5413]

Another possibility is that the smell of beer made her feel nauseated, a form of morning sickness in the evening. Perfectly possible even in the pregnancy of a normally educated woman. Fear of the alcohol may have made her even less rational than she already was, under stress, especially since she herself doesn't drink.

[@Zalerinae0491]

honestly sounds more like post partum anxiety than ppd. Shes worried about everything and creating insane fears in her head.

[@Poopiepies]

@@ruthhenderson5413if it was just nausea then why would she go off the deep end about him hurting the baby? She’s just ignorant and unwilling to learn. Not only that, she insulted her husband for what? There’s never a reason to belittle your partner’s intelligence like that.

[@kichikitsu]

​@@Zalerinae0491depression can induce psychosis, which seems more like what she's dealing with -- imagining her baby bleeding out inside her every night and such. and such severe things obviously would induce anxiety, as well. let's trust the sister who knows their family history & has firsthand experience of PPD, yeah?

[@kichikitsu]

​@@Poopiepiesgo fuck yourself lmfao she is suffering from PPD and was losing her mind due to the intense symptoms without even knowing that it was PPD causing all this.

[@mweathers79]

S1: this is a great example of why it’s important to get a solid education and learn to think critically.

[@Rankinen]

Story 2: He didn't pack lunches for TWO DAYS !? Even if he was indeed depressed it doesn't excuse starving children.

[@nannettepolcastro4799]

Does the school not serve lunch?

[@Rankinen]

@@nannettepolcastro4799 From the OP's update I presume that where they live, lunches aren't offered.

[@NoniTinystorm]

Story 2: I never really understood how any man would put their own ego above the wellbeing of their children. Like - men who pout and drag their feet about doing cleaning or getting their kids to school or packing lunches because that's "Women's work" and end up not doing it - do they dislike their kids? Can they not see how they are hurting them? Do they want their kids to not trust them? Honestly.

[@kayq3231]

Depression and anxiety are nightmares. They don't make you think rational. I'm glad the sister was able to meditate. And I'm happy they were able to start communicating again. Shame on the mother for doing that to her daughter.

[@Lestaticate]

Story 2: I was worried OP’s mom would start cleaning her DIL’s house out to help her son save face. Looks like OP’s brother is going to lose a lot more than his job after all. No one was expecting him to have everything down to a science like SIL, but he’s barely even trying.

[@Emi_TheWinged]

He probably thought that his wife was having full on vacation being SAHM and when he lost the job he thought he can have it too. He never imagined that it was literally a job (+ he has it on easy mode ++ she was literally working part time so 4ha day?) and most likely is misogynistic with his comment that : he is not supposed to do that" She would have it so much easier with child support and one less manchild

[@MaryTheresa1986]

​@@Emi_TheWingedHopefully he doesn't get full custody of the children, child support, and alimony from his wife since he's now a SAHD and she's working full-time. Hopefully OP and her mother testify on the wife's behalf and he gets supervised visits, if that.

[@mbyerly9680]

I'm surprised video games weren't mentioned. That seems to be the standard go-to of men stuck at home.

[@lorifiedler13]

Sounds like weaponized incompetence. With a dash of DARVO flavor.

[@karendaniel620]

They should watch Mama Doctor Jones, a mother of 4 and OB/GYN. They also need to have a frank discussion with their own doctor.

[@bgcorporation]

Story 1 OP: Stop calling my wife an idiot! She's not an idiot! She's learning! Wife: But Brawndo's got what plants crave? It's got electrolytes.

[@SusanGFoxyMama]

🤣

[@lee-jj1js]

But Brawndo has what plants crave! It's got electrolytes! '...Okay - what are electrolytes? Do you know? Yeah. It's what they use to make Brawndo.' But why do they use them in Brawndo? What do they do?''They're part of what plants crave.'But why do plants crave them?'Because plants crave Brawndo, and Brawndo has electrolytes.

[@shaumia82]

🤣🤣🤣🤣 that's my movie

[@GiordanDiodato]

bruh

[@lindah3803]

Brawndo?

[@kateemma22]

Does she think the baby guzzles the sperm? I don't... I have so many questions.

[@juliearmfield2634]

Well don't ask for wife cuz she sure in the hell don't no any of the answers to them well the correct answers to them I should say. 😂

[@lynnw7155]

I'd worry that this woman is not ready for a baby. She's so young and immature, Too much mis-information and listening to dingbat mother. I'm glad OP is going to be more involved; she may need more OB/GYN visits to assure her that the baby is doing well.

[@SnowyWolborg]

@@lynnw7155 I completely agree. Even ignoring that PPD runs in their family, the wife has clearly been told a lot of nonsense by her mother and the OP needs to keep an eye on any other out of the ordinary ideas that she has about children.

[@sciguy98]

Considering the volume of average ejaculate, even if it were 100% alcohol somehow it's still a tiny amount. This makes no sense from any angle you look at it.

[@LunaP1]

Her mental and emotional growth was 100% stunted due to the environment she grew up in. If MiL wants grandkids, she failed via sabotaging her daughter's education.

[@johnowen9349]

Story 1 - NTA, now take her to her OBGYN to explain this and everything else to her, before she does something this stupid in the other direction and actually hurts the baby.

[@colleens1107]

Story one: wow, that update really made me feel bad about how hard I laughed at the first post. I truly thought this girl is too dumb to procreate but the update just made it clear she had been denied a proper education + pregnancy related depression. I’m so glad OP and wife cut out the MIL and the aunt who were actively making the wife’s depression worse

[@hollowkid97]

She still seems a lil dumb tbh

[@marshawargo7238]

My kids are mid to late 40's & when they were new infants I was told by my pedestrian TO give them water (they Hated it) but I've never heard until this post Not to give water. I've always joked with my kids, knowing that medical info changes almost daily, that "It's a miracle that they lived through my care". I mean chocolate cake, peanut butter & honey before they are Two is not a good thing? Like I said, a Miracle! They also teethed on Slim Jims, nawing on it helped push the tooth through the gums & the spices numbed the gums, no problem! But I've never heard of anyone else doing that & nowadays I can understand with allergies rise & risks. Again Miracle

[@valgardener7656]

At least you felt bad. Markee kept on laughing till the end. But it's no joke that you laughed in the first place. Would you mock a disabled person? How is SHE the ignorant one, when all of the people laughing at her clearly have never heard of PPA, PPD, or PPP? Or is it that you all have heard of those things but think they are funny?

[@hollowkid97]

@@valgardener7656 cause she's a goof. Looking down on him for his job while working at Wendy's

[@valgardener7656]

@@hollowkid97 She has a serious mental condition and is being gaslit by her own family on top of it. And you are LAUGHING AT HER. Do you laugh at people with other disabilities?

[@Myelllie]

I feel so sorry for OPs wife, she must feel so ridiculous. I believe if the information was coming from her mom shed question it but because it came from someone she trusted she didn't, that coupled with her postpartum... Im glad shes atleast trying to catch up in missed knowledge

[@Mia-dt3gl]

I’m just trying to wrap my head around the fact that _she thought OP was trying to rape her._ I’m not a man but even factoring in pregnancy hormones, depression, and brainwashing I’d have a hard time coming back from THAT.

[@Nevertoleave]

Part of religious teaching is that you have no say and should just do your wifely duties whenever your husband wants, regardless of how you feel about it. If her mother is hyper religious that might be some of the only sex ed she got. Either way, I’m actually a little proud of her. She was scared for the baby and told him no. She expressed a boundary about her body, that would have been very difficult for her to do considering her thoughts, just to protect her baby. She’s a little confused but she’s got the spirit. And she’s need that to keep her mother out of her life.

[@valgardener7656]

Like she said, she "knew" that he would not assault her. Her fear didn't come from her knowledge and beliefs. Not even from the false knowledge her aunt gave her. It came from her disease. That has been made very clear by the story. Yet for some reason, this information cannot penetrate the skulls of the very people that keep calling this girl stupid.

[@kyriacarica5862]

Back in 2009, my then boyfriend (now husband) and I watched “idiocracy” then he made a joke that was like “wouldn’t it be funny if years from now this would become a documentary?” And then we laughed 🫠 not so funny now that it’s no longer a joke. Edit: giving OP crap for working at a blue collar job while she’s working at a Wendy’s is one heck of a self-report 😂

[@TheNormExperience]

Story 1: there are like 15 things worrisome with all of this and it’s exhausting just listening to it. PLEASE OP, sign you and your wife up for parenting classes! Both of you need to get informed before this baby gets here!

[@sonialinsey8083]

Maybe some therapy too, holy cow the family is crazy, too. They’re fairly unintelligent but criticize him for being blue collar? Like bro I can tell you all aren’t rocket scientists why are you assuming OP is an alcoholic because he works at a warehouse? I’m getting rural Appalachia vibes from this story (source: am from rural Appalachia)

[@markanthony1004]

This story was so damn stupid and holy crap human need to know more about the basics of the human body. Damn even my kids have a far better knowledge of the human body and we live in Texas but sex Ed at least in their school district it’s actually real sex Ed with actual facts because most of us parents, a few doctors, a good deal of nurses and people with common sense approved it when the district asked

[@elleswiger9329]

She's going to need a paternity test to make sure the baby is her's

[@orchidoxs126]

Lmao.

[@roberthickman2907]

I hate to tell you but that is a maternity test.

[@orchidoxs126]

@@roberthickman2907 it was a joke. I'm sure they know maternity tests exist.

[@valgardener7656]

You realize that you are mocking her for having PPD and severe anxiety, right? Are you comfortable with what that says about you? Markee did it, so let's ALL do it, even though it is clearly and objectively wrong and disgusting.

[@michaelleppek4092]

​@valgardener7656 no, we're mocking her for being a fucking idiot.

[@DrewLSsix]

Proof that its about control not faith.

[@kaykay8855]

IKR!

[@jessluxsozzy]

Truth

[@GLoLChibs]

I figured OPs wife grew up in a sheltered and very conservative family. Those are usually the types to be this clueless about reproduction and how pregnancy works. Shocker...she did.

[@SnowyWolborg]

Exactly. And the worst part of it is, she was so confident that she was the one who was correct.

[@mrs.h2725]

It’s always the religious types that are ignorant of facts while also being egotistical about how right they think they are. I hate that we allow them to control so much of our education system in the US, and even let parents deny their children an education and replace it with ideological brainwashing.

[@Davtwan]

Even worse, the mother didn’t disclose important medical history; PPD runs in her family. (No idea if she’s actually conservative, but she’s definitely nuts considering the update.)

[@michealwatts7469]

Sheltered doesn't always mean conservative but maybe I didn't hear it. Where did it say she was from a conservative family and not a "My mom is batshit crazy and controlling" type of family?

[@KadeStringer2.0]

That’s not true and I came from a conservative family and I wasn’t this dumb . I think the wife just came from a hippy family .

[@martil.9058]

Remember that stupidity and uneducated ideas are being passed onto kids if not careful 🤦🏼‍♀️🙈

[@SnowyWolborg]

Exactly. This is one of those situations where your partner's feelings have to take a back seat to the truth. The wife is dangerously ignorant on this subject and she needs to be corrected.

[@uh8myzen]

That's what happened to the wife. She had an ignorant mother from the "parents always know what's best" crowd who was able to actively undermine her daughter's education. Now here we are, a wife who doesn't understand biology, was not told that PPD ran in the family, and has ignorance venom regularly dripped into her ear.

[@juliearmfield2634]

The wife thinks that the baby can get fetal alcohol syndrome from having sex with her husband after he had a couple beers and she's calling him dumb. 🤦 I'm glad the sister came over and had a heart-to-heart talk with her and they are getting it figured out

[@littlelavilion9795]

Being uneducated doesn’t mean someone is stupid just a friendly reminder.

[@Nevertoleave]

@@littlelavilion9795 agreed. She literally didn’t know and was kept from having information. I remember reading a story from a woman who had a teen pregnancy like 60 some years ago who had no idea she was pregnant or that she was even having sex because no one told her anything besides “don’t have sex until marriage, you’re sinful if you do.” Her parent flipped out on her and she was sitting there going, what? Lol I’m not having sex or pregnant. And her parents were just like… what are you talking about? You’ve pregnant… oh god how do you not know??

[@ravenID429]

@@littlelavilion9795She seems pretty damn stupid

[@MaryTheresa1986]

​@@NevertoleaveI understand not knowing you're pregnant, but how did she not know she was having sex? What did she think she was doing? Was her partner just as clueless? Where did you hear/read this? I'd love to check it out.

[@Melanie-jy2nw]

@@MaryTheresa1986 could be she was raped while unconscious. She would have never known she slept with someone.

[@chinavaughan6383]

Story 2: I can’t see a reason for the wife to hang on to her lazy bum of a husband. I mean, he can’t even make sure that the kids get to school on time? Damn!😟

[@trashotaku]

For the first story, fetal alcohol syndrome only occurs when the mother consumes any amount of alcohol during her pregnancy. While I do remember hearing that paternal alcohol consumption can lead to birth defects, that’s only with long term heavy consumption and during the conception of the baby.

[@user-me7iw6ft8z]

Story 1: Biggest problem is not even that op's wife didn't know something, but what she thinks about op's job and that op is acting like a doormat.

[@dessnatazha]

All I can think is how scary it is that people like this have children. I hope this woman gets real mental help.

[@masumi1990x]

Story 1. Being smart is not the same as being educated.

[@KE-hr4sb]

The jack-o-lantern background looks great and really gets you in the mood for fall! (We finally broke the record-high streak of 109 where I live, woo!) Bring on the pumpkin spice and Christmas decorations in stores! S1: Wut? /sigh NTA. Take your wife to her doctor's appointment (she should be having one soon if she hasn't yet, and about one every month if she's pregnant), or if that's too far away cause you just had one, maybe have her call her doctor with concerns. Let him explain to her the way it works because she's made it clear she won't believe you. She is also really young, and it sounds like she may have some maturing to do. Part of me gets it, because my mother pulled us out of public school when they started teaching my oldest sister sex ed/reproductive health, and then just...refused to teach us anything about it. My (parentified) sister taught me some, and the rest I learned on my own. But this is a sad, sorry example of why sex/reproductive ed is important... Last Story: Sadly, I've seen this a lot. Some men are a weird mix of 50's wife/working woman mentality: They expect their wife to hold down a job, but also still do all the traditional household things that SAHWs used to do before women working was common, while the man works, then comes home, puts his feet up, and his wife continues to run the household. It's mind-boggling to me how some men either don't see, or are willfully blind to the laughably uneven split of duties. I am eternally grateful for my husband, and we are raising our kids to know one end of a vacuum from the other (my cousin had to call me from college to ask for step-by-step instructions on how to do her laundry...)

[@embluvya]

Abstinence only education has a lot to answer for

[@thePhoenixQueen]

I was taught (and practices) abstinence, and I'm not this dumb.

[@Nevertoleave]

@@thePhoenixQueen you aren’t aware of what you’re not aware of

[@kumikor3392]

Purity culture is going to forever ruin a woman's life.

[@ruthsaunders9507]

@@Nevertoleave There's nothing wrong with teaching abstinence. They're still teaching you all the reasons why its safer, especially as a kid.

[@295Phoenix]

​@@ruthsaunders9507Abstinence teaching comes hand in hand with dumbing down sex ed.

[@hellkitelord8319]

There is a big difference between uninformed/ill-informed/uneducated and dumb. ETA: It turns out the mother was also feeding her so much false information.

[@seyeshittu3297]

Yea, she is all of those. Lol

[@marshawargo7238]

When disparaging her for working at Wendy's but looking down on him for his blue collar job? I think she was just putting too much stock in her mom's experience at having had two children to their zero "Mom has Experience with this subject & We don't" His job & her job don't play into it, but mom's previous experience does.

[@ladyv5655]

The MIL is evil. The Aunty, too.

[@sonialinsey8083]

Google is literally a click away. If this was 1990 and she thought this I could maybe understand. People this dumb are why I’m not having kids. Getting through school was hard enough when everyone else refused to try, good luck to future generations.

[@valgardener7656]

@@marshawargo7238 Thank you. Completely agree. That was never about disparaging her job as such, it was about rejecting his medical take on things. The story makes this really clear. But it's always the ones too thick to even comprehend the story who insist on calling her stupid.

[@EileenGallia]

Post-partum Anxiety is awful. I knew about Post-partum depression, but not Anxiety. And I was well educated on pregnancy & post partum. I would have full panic attacks thinking I was going to have a heart attack and my baby would be alone crying for hours. It took months to get a diagnosis and treatment plan, too

[@rachealborders]

Same here. I couldn't breathe and would have panic attacks at the thought of my husband going on any kind of trip without me. He doesn't like to and typically won't go anywhere without me, but his mom wanted him to come visit her 4 hours a way when I was 7 months pregnant with our first baby. I couldn't articulate and was just sobbing (which is NOT something I do) that in my head, if he went without me, he would die in a car accident and our baby boy would never know his daddy. It makes no sense now, but it was a very real terror at the time. I want diagnosed with PPA and PPD until I was 6 weeks postpartum when I begged my doctor to test me because I felt paralyzed by guilt and worry and unable to function. I was taking excellent care of my newborn, but I literally couldn't see it at the time and was miserable and had multiple panic attacks each day (it was also during lockdown, so I was very isolated). She put me on a low dose of Sertraline (Zoloft) and it started getting better day by day until I was my usual capable, cheerful self who loved being a mom.

[@anonymouse9833]

This is the most “first time mom” moment I’ve ever heard of 😂

[@shadowdemon2272]

Story 2: Brother sounds like a case of weaponized incompetence. Based on the update, OP is NTA and Brother is a HUGE TA likely facing a divorce soon. That beig said, we as a society need to get over this narrative that everyone is naturally and intuitively good at homemaking. Being a homemaker/SAHP is hard. If Brother was honestly trying but just legitimately sucked at a job he never prepared for and never wanted but was nevertheless pushed into, then OP would have been TA. Tbh why did they need a stay-at-home-parent at all if the kids are in school? Sounds like the best option (other than divorce) might be Brother going back to work and them getting a nanny and/or maid for the house and kid stuff.

[@960027079]

I agree! But they said he wanted to be the stay at home parent and told her to go back to work. I think he thought it would be easy and he could sleep in or something. Then realized he had to get up early, make breakfast and pack lunches. Sounds like this man just doesn't want to do anythinb. You know those kids asked about where their lunch is or reminded him they needed it. If the man needs help or something isn't working he needs to communicate, but there is no excuse for harming the kids' education or not feeding them.

[@mattatwork2904]

Story 2, YTA. It's actually quite hard to handle the whole house and family and kids, every Stay at home parent knows this. Also he just lost his job, which can be emotionally devestating, now his wife is the breadwinner and he's stuck with a big task while he's likely dealing with some sort of depression. (lost job, lost status in household, failing at homemaking). Then you're telling him he's lazy, useless and his wife is going to leave him. If picking on your brother who is most likely suffering depression doesn't make YTA, I don't know what does. He needs support, treatment, and to man up and get things together. But it's a big ask to have anyone, particularly a man go get mental health support.

[@slimecorn]

He’s had enough time to figure it out. Like what does he do all day??

[@lucariomew365]

Based on the story, both the sibling and the wife gave the brother a schedule and instructions. And the wife, after working all day, still has to come home and clean up after him-to the point that it's clear that he's not trying. Also, there is no excuse for not packing a school lunch and having the kids be consistently late. And, since I'm assuming there is no lunch money, the school could take that as a means of child neglect. Seriously, if kids are constantly late, they will send a truancy officer, and if the kids not getting lunch keeps happening, DFCS or the state equivalent will get involved very quickly.

[@madcatlady]

childless and 61 and I admit I didn't know about not giving babies water or honey

[@robotface42O]

Story 1:I went through psychosis two times and it's really sounding like she's having postpartum psychosis. It totally reminds me of my irrational paranoia. The worst part is I knew I was factually wrong but everything in my body said otherwise

[@ZombieSazza]

So the mother blames science for her eldest daughter running off, when really science isn’t to blame at all, but the mother being an abusive individual. Like imagine lying to your youngest daughter purely to poison her relationship and cause her panic. Glad they’ve cut contact with the toxic mother and auntie, because they don’t deserve to be in their lives. Glad she has the sister on her side in her corner, but yeah I’d consider getting CCTV and security in/around your home, just to extra make sure your wife is protected.

[@hexgirl29]

My coworker is currently pregnant (less than 10 weeks for damn sure) and she says she can't climb ladders anymore bc, and I quote, "that will cause the umbilical cord to wrap around the baby's neck and suffocate it" like girl WHAT. She's 22 Her bd has told her-to her face- that if she was ever pregnant amd she couldn't satisfy him how he needs, he will go find that satisfaction somewhere else

[@Beach12323]

In my anatomy 2 class we had a girl who didn’t understand where kids came from. She was 20 with 2 kids. My professor had to take her after class and give her the talk. When I talked to her she told me her mom said her V was a portal to hell.

[@mracula1667]

Story 1: NTA. It’s concerning how little the mother to be understands about pregnancy.

[@tartlynerdy]

Story 1 - so. Here's the bigger picture: Op's wife's older sister eloped at eighteen (probably to escape from home and her over controlling mother) and her brother became an alcoholic, and STILL, she can't use her siblings as the examples her mother (or the aunt) is the worst kind of person to take parenting advice from? Mil sounds like a horrible mother. Story 2 - NTA. As someone who's been doing their own laundry since they were nine years old I find the idea of twenty something years olds not knowing how to figure out a laundry machine very secondhand embarrassing. Op's brother is likely the way he is because of their mother. A home shouldn't fall apart when the stay at home parent leaves to go back to work. Wtf did he think his wife did all day for eight hours. I really hope she does divorce him because this guy sounds more like a gross roommate vs a husband.

[@EluneAnzu]

Story 1 update: so the mom took her out of education because she didn't want her to be "fast" like her other her other kid and get married at 18? Oh yeah totally worked other daughter's married and having kids at 21, glad the "fancy book learnin'" didn't make her "fast" too. Really hope OP pushes hard for proper education for the kiddo's sake, nothing against OP's wife it's just that that kind of thing can be hard to break, people really don't like admitting the way were raised was messed up.

[@megannason3649]

I am so glad you are being her advocate and helping her now when she needs you most.

[@RosesTeaAndASD]

Story1: I'm glad the wife has support for her PND. I've been there before and thank goodness SHE had a relative who saw the signs too. Cutting off that MIL and the aunt was the best outcome possible. That sister is a wonderful person by the sound of it.

[@avaphynx]

I bet her brother will cry about getting divorced for "no reason". When it's the husband making the wife's life so much harder.

[@Mama_Bear_of_3]

Story 2. I wouldn't be suprised if he is purposely messing up in hope his wife will throw her hands up and just start doing everything again. This way he can just be lazy all day.

[@dm9078]

Pregnancy, hormones excuse coming in 3,2,1..but NTA. He was just stating facts. Sounds as if he’s going to be raising two children. Edit: I love the testicle story! 😂😂😂! Not a moron. Whatever you say buddy!

[@domeatown]

Lol that first story. Not a single person here is a bad person. Just bad crap boiling to the surface. They are all actually incredibly lovely people. I actually love this couple so much. Very silly and very goofy but gosh darn have they got the right ideas Overcoming the crap of the past one fight and one good cry at a time. That's what I love to see.

[@carlrood4457]

I'm a 56 year old dad and one of the best things happened when I tore my quad and had to have knee surgery. I did most of the family laundry and couldn't do the stairs to the basement. My sons had to start doing the laundry. I told them how to do it. If they forgot, I'd tell them again. Even after healing, they do their own laundry. My 13 year old is already cooking himself basic meals, mainly breakfast (eggs, bacon, pancakes, etc.) I always like to point out someone had to cook on cattle drives, army camps, ships at sea, etc. for centuries. There were few if any women in such situations, so the whole "men don't cook" is BS.

[@Iflie]

Haha, you are so right, you can't read Reddit stories and not think Idiocracy is a real thing. Even the simplest ones where they get married and have 5 kids before she figures out he doesn't lift a finger around the house.

[@katherinehutton9870]

My husband who has 5 degrees in different science deciplines belived that women stop thier periods when they got wet. He also thought New England was a state. So even educated people can think some stupid things.

[@RSARYR]

Story 1: My brain just went blank as OP was describing his unique situation and I was just... like what??? 🤨

[@markanthony1004]

It is shocking how some people make it to adulthood and even decide to have kids and know very little about the human body Our pediatrician told us to yes lay an infant on their stomach with their head laid to the side because God forbid they vomit while on their backs. 4 healthy children including my stepson and the youngest now 9 and the fact that their doctor is one of the best pediatricians in South Texas it worked. I didn’t even think people put Bavaria on their backs when they’re that young

[@BankruptMonkey]

That dad is a failure parent, no one is good at being a stay at home parent from day 1 but the fact he refuses to learn and improve even when it's hurting his kid's health, safety, and future is just a cruel level of laziness.

[@ghoullovinbutch]

On the pathetic brother story: This is what weaponized incompetence looks like, folks! Be aware! This is exactly what it looks like when someone does a shitty job at chores/work/etc in order to make someone else get frustrated enough to just take over and do it themselves!

[@josepherhardt164]

3:28 Jesus. After reading all that, _I_ need a drink!

[@jessicadixon2270]

Can we hype up the relationship OP gives his wife in Story 1? Like I grew up in the Bible Belt. Saw girls fall into their family's "teachings". Op's wife is the situation I pray those girls, and sometimes guys, end up with. A partner who sees something VERY alarmingly wrong, but also seeing the actual amazing human underneath, AND DID SOMETHING!!!! Ugh! I love stories like this! Thank you!

[@Tammohawk1]

1. OMG, this poor girl. At first I was shocked that someone could be so ignorant, and then I heard the rest of the story. Mom and aunt are to blame here. How can you do that to your child, instill such fear in them while keeping them ignorant? Markee, "Get me off this planet G-damn it." I can so relate. lol 2. Brother is trying the weaponized incompetence and it's going to ruin his life if he doesn't get his act together pretty quick.

[@kishaa819]

Awe… this story almost made me cry because he’s so understanding of her fears and I wish I could’ve talked to my husband about my own baby fears….

[@PlasticBluVentRabbit]

Imagine being the kind of parent to willingly mess up your child like this… and that aunt with the nerve to make things worse with the mom… ugh I’m glad things are looking up for op and the wife. Cutting ties is gonna be a big step towards improvement.

[@Allmightyimortal]

The heck can science class lead to eloping. Op beeds to explain that crash in logic.

[@SnowyWolborg]

Because it was likely more about MIL controlling her children.

[@hello93617]

I would feel bad for OPs wife, if she didnt so vehemently defend her ridiculous views.

[@gcarr1089]

Story 1 - just wear a condom. She needs to stay calm and if that is what would help her then do it.

[@jennyhaslayer1396]

Legit that would not have fixed the problem, in any way, at all. That's called a bandaid and you can't put it on a bullet wound 😂

[@gcarr1089]

@@jennyhaslayer1396 she's near the end of pregnancy, her education can happen after the birth. calm now teach later

[@Davtwan]

And this is why not discussing about sex is often worse than doing so. Ignorance is not always bliss. Edit: Ah and her mother didn’t even explain that PPD runs in the family. What a smart woman. 🙄 Edit 2: And the mother (or at least her sister [aunt]) planted that false information as some sort of revenge due to her perceiving OP as an alcoholic? Might I suggest moving without disclosing the address? 😬

[@lindah3803]

Well OP did say that they are going to find a 2 bedroom. Hopefully Mom and Aunt don't hear about the move ahead of time or the location. Thankfully his wife agreed to cutting them out. With how bad her condition is now,OP going to the Doctor with her will definitely help. He's got a rough road ahead.

[@Broeckchen]

Story 1 OP is so good and kind. Bless him for remaining patient, sweet and understanding. May we all be blessed with partners this willing and happy to support us and grow for us.

[@simhaanahata4427]

Story 1... there should be a test of knowledge of human biology and psychology before people get pregnant

[@dreadfuldee2432]

That lady from the first story should not be reproducing if she doesn't understand the basic knowledge of pregnancy

[@waterdragondelta]

aww, I love that background!! It’s happy-spooky.

[@REAP3R112102]

‘Been reading too much hentai.’ How do you know such specifics of hentai? 📸📸💀💀

[@Markee]

my friend uhh..told me...these...these things...yeah

[@DominosAndHearts]

​@@Markee😂😂

[@rachaelvaughan1017]

Story 1, i think he should have a conversation with her obgyn about slowly bringing up some facts or having her doctor give her a pamphlet to just calm her nerves about some of the things that she will deal with while pregnant. My sister is expecting and its definitely difficult for everyone around her due to the hormones

[@catcollector9495]

I love the jack-o-lantern background for this one- spooky season always brings me joy

[@EllieC130]

I don't even know if I'd so much call the wife dumb like... it sounds bad but it's like she's a child. Like even the way she emotionally responds to things just feels so pre teen. I'm honestly worried about her.

[@BbiBbii]

Stuff like Story 1 is why I feel Sex Ed should be mandatory as well as more detailed. I am sick of the shitty education we have now, all it does is barely teach us the basics & push abstinence/not to have sex before marriage. Abstinence isn’t even that bad to push but if you’re gonna push it you should AT LEAST teach kids more than super vague basics. I remember Sex Ed being so basic that I barely understood what a menstrual cycle was, I barely understood how to use a pad or tampon, and if you had asked me what sex was I couldn’t tell you. It’s pathetic

[@Ann_Wall-Chiasson]

Ok there's weaponized incompetence, and then there's whatever that last OP's brother was pulling. Smh

[@Zenohbia]

The background is a nice touch. It’s my favorite time of year.

[@livewellwitheds6885]

story 1 NTA. if the wife wont believe op, then he needs to bring it up with their OB/GYN and ask if they can educate the wife. this was just infuriating to listen to!

[@maiqtheliar789]

Story 2: Any man that can't cook or clean a house is no man at all. Say this as a middle aged man, who has two grown kids. Anything the wife can do around the house I can do. It isn't that damned hard to cook and clean a house especially with school age children. Getting kids to school on time WITH lunch is not the hardest thing in the world. Glad the SIL isn't a doormat, and wish her luck in the potential divorce.

[@jat9926]

Jack o lanterns in the background? HIT IT! *SPOOKY SCARY SKELETONS SEND SHIVERS DOWN YOUR SPINE~*

[@arleneclark6369]

Story 1, The MIL reminds me of the mother in the movie Carrie🤯 same kind of weird hangups about sex education.

[@redonyx5428]

s1: this is why education is so important. EDIT: hearing that the MIL cutoff the wife's education so that she wouldn't be "fast" pissed me off immediately because i know the type of woman the MIL is because I grew up with them. There are unfortunately BW who don't want their daughters educated, especially about sex because of religious indoctrination, internalize bs about black girls being sexual while not putting the onus on predators within the community. but also if the daughter is smarter than her, they're not easy to manipulate anymore because she can fact check her mother, push back but also get away from her/cut her off. edit edit: the older sister eloped to get away from the mother, i bet on that. hell, if i didnt have any other options, i'd do that to. so the MIL deliberately spreading poison when her daughter is struggling to hurt OP because he got her daughter pregnant? wtaf?

[@maurer3d]

Story 2: NTA, so he quit his job (or was fired), and is now expecting his wife to work full-time and still do 100% of the work at home? He is nuts.

[@ndawn90]

To be totally fair, studies have found a link between poor brain development and the father drinking alcohol, *BEFORE* conception. But also, yeah, getting your 21 year old wife who you know is insanely sheltered and has issues with her family knocked up without doing some serious ground work first is a disaster waiting to happen.

[@owl7072]

Story 1: How are you having a whole ass child and don't even fully understand the most basic things in regards to that and pregnancy.

[@tjayjay6657]

Story 1- Sex education really needs to be taught in school or by a Dr after conception it's nuts how many people have no idea about their own bodies let alone the new life they are bringing into the world.

[@emilyprovance7413]

How terrible would it be to find out someone you know is this stupid, let alone your mother 😂. I get it she's overcoming a shelter, to the point of abusive upbringing. But goddamn , fingers crossed for that baby.

[@valgardener7656]

The mother wasn't stupid. She lied deliberately out of malice, to punish OP.

[@shannonbullock2202]

The mother in the 1st story sounds a lot like the mother in the movie "Carrie." I'm pretty sure that's how u spell it lol. What a psycho!! Thank God OP's wife is super sweet and he's so supportive and understanding or she might snap and realize her evil powers, then use her powers to lock him in their house and burn it down without ever lifting a finger 😮😂😂😂

[@ZomBeeQueeen]

Story 1: I would be concerned about her IQ… like what!?! 🤣 upbringing is no excuse for not looking into proper medical facts as an expectant parent. Also PPD sounds like a better excuse then admitting she was stupid which she never did…. Never apologized for disrespecting any sense of an opposing thought and went to demeaning him. Neither does ppd make you judge your husbands lack of college when I assume she does not have any college either. That lack of humility is how someone won’t check into facts and will cause issues in the futures

[@professorrosenstock5026]

They really need to be laws against signing kids out of classes. This shit is dangerous.

[@ruthsaunders9507]

She's a grown woman. Blaming it on a pervy high school class is silly.

[@ravenID429]

Lol no the school shouldn’t have legal control over everything your kids learn

[@ruthsaunders9507]

The grown woman could be a danger to her child but that nothing to do with some silly sex ed class in school.

[@emilybarclay8831]

S1: this is why getting married at 20/21 is usually stupid. Because most people are still stupid and immature at 20. She ain’t ready to be a wife and sure as hell ain’t ready to be a mother.

[@AAAforshort]

To be fair, apparently her mother kept her ignorant by denying her access to biology class etc, she was suffering from post partum depression then add to that her vile mother telling lies that are complete bullshit I can see why the hormones and such messed with her. Though I can't say I don't agree that usually people shouldn't marry too young in this case I don't think her age would've mattered as much if she remained as ignorant with post partum

[@shylavender]

The age doesn’t come into it; it’s the fact that she’s been poisoned since she was a minor, by her psychotic “mother” and aunt with false information, and not being allowed to have a proper education on sex, reproduction or the human body. The age is irrelevant. Plenty of people who have married in their early twenties (myself included) are not this misinformed, nor immature. Plus, this woman is suffering from a mental illness caused by the pregnancy, she can’t help how she reacts. Her moron “mother” also neglected to mention that to her daughter. So again: not OP’s wife’s fault, OR due to her age.

[@cindyclark8998]

I really like the new background you have for this time of the year

[@GiordanDiodato]

you shouldn't give infants honey because it has Clostridium botulinum, the bacteria that causes botulism, in it. as for the no water for infants, that one's new to me. though I suppose it makes sense since we don't know what's in our tap water.

[@Nevertoleave]

It’s because before six months they get all the water they need from formula and breast milk. In the start they have tiny tummies and drink about ten drops of colostrum every 2-3 hours. Every day they drink a little more as their stomach grows. By the time they’re about six months old they’re drinking 5-6 times a day and like 200ml or about 6 ounces each time. Water makes up a large portion of breast milk and formula. So if you’re replacing milk with water they’re losing out on nutrition if you add it on top of their milk they’re drinking too much water for their tiny body and organs to handle. And you can drink too much water, even as an adult. That whole 8 glasses a day thing is from an ad. Basically a company that sells bottled water went, what if fund a study to say what we want and then write it up like an informational article instead of a normal ad? And it worked. After six months they can start having a little with their solid foods to help them poop

[@Maineh]

The jack-o'-lantern background??? Stunning

[@Tomicrat]

Spot on with the Idiotocery documentary Markee

[@OuchingTigerLimpingDragon]

18:15 *The chili pot calling the kettle black

[@emanx222]

Forewarning, this comment is pre update (precisely 4 mins in) so am more than happy to change my opinions as new information is presented.I kinda feel bad for the wife tbh, like everyone is acting like its not rational to be concerned about fetal alcohol syndrome with regards to a guy drinking before sex. Heck, I didn't know whether it would have had an effect until I saw this story lol. And even prior to that knowledge, as someone that is vehemently child free, If I ever were to reach a point in my life where I wanted kids, I can promise you I would NEVER drink before sex, Idc whether or not Alcohol is actually proven to effect the baby, freak accidents and complications do occur and who knows if my child could be that poor unfortunate fucker that get affected because I drank before sex. The wife was genuinely concerned for her child, the husband, while trying to be understanding failed to see that very simple thing, Had he just accepted that the night in question wasn't the appropriate time to push sex or the FAS issue, things could have been discussed in a healthier way I feel. OP was so intent on proving himself right while trying not to be condescending that he actually missed the things he should have and could have done to better handle the situation. All the above being said though, my opinion is based on hindsight, so Im not actually blaming OP for his actions, given the novelty of the situation and how caught off guard he was, I can't expect him to think that far ahead considering Ive had time to hear about and assess the situation before making my statements which he wouldn't have had the chance to. I just wanted to highlight something I feel was being missed

[@nwilady1867]

1. I hope the baby gets his brains.