I Chose My "Golden Child" Sister Over My Other Sister And She's Furious r/Relationships

[@madambutterfly1997]

Successfully having a kid after many failed attempts doesn't make this child Jesus Christ

[@rubymeaddle]

It actually messes the kid up, rainbow babies are now getting old enough to talk about their experiences with life and the abuse they've talked about is heartbreaking

[@madambutterfly1997]

@Ruby Meaddle I'm a rainbow baby I don't act like Jesus Christ. Then again I was born in the late 90s and all lot of people from that generation born in 96 and 97 are basically living Singularities

[@peeonthe3rdrail414]

Tell me you've lived a privlidged life without telling me you've lived a privlidged life.

[@Because-rt8qs]

I know right? Virgin Mary didn't even have any failed attempts. 😂

[@Sylphella]

There's some added context to the first post that makes it horrifying. The op was parentified and is so used to being the savior to his sisters that he genuinely believes that he doesn't deserve any help.

[@ShadowDevotion]

that doesnt absolve him at how he had handled it, and how he does handle it even one year later. a joint therapy? in the same room with your abuser and you have to talk openly? this is a recipe for disaster. the trust tia has for her brother is not the same. tia wasnt just abused by her parents, it also happened by maya and no one helped her. and then her brother stabbed her in the back too.

[@AliceRinGameLand]

​@@ShadowDevotionjoint therapy was of him and Tia. Learn to read

[@ShadowDevotion]

@@AliceRinGameLand he wrote himself in the update: "We get joint therapy that helps a lot, but she still wishes it was just us", which implies its him, maya and tia in the therapy

[@Bob-cs8gs]

Honestly the posts on story 1 we're bothering me a lot because Maya was a victim too. She was manipulated to act that way towards Tia. Her parents were reinforcing it. The brother can see that this was a result from the parents and I feel like Tia's anger towards Maya (while absolutely still valid) are a bit misplaced. Maya needed help escaping the situation too, should she not get any help or support from her brother simply because her parents arbitrarily chose her as the winner?

[@maple9960]

@@ShadowDevotion “wishes it’s just us” as in she wishes Maya wasn’t in the picture at all. It’s just Op and Tia in therapy

[@phoenixsky6124]

Lol mom says step daughter will understand not being the flower girl yet the 30 yr old is not understanding. 😂

[@iamdangerous5189]

Imagine having to give up your role in your own parent's wedding just so some entitled pos can push their infant in your place instead. The audacity.

[@BruinPhD2009]

Excellent point!

[@judelbugsrutter6727]

Exactly this

[@necieau2700]

The GROOM OF THE WEDDING deserves for his DAUGHTER to be more involved in the wedding than his niece in law

[@drea4195]

Right! Hard to believe that OP didn't bring that up right away to SIL, and her mom.

[@AndyyWithAY]

I'd say why can't there be 2 flower girls, but the fact that niece would have to be carried, she's not old enough to remember it. Ignoring all that, it will be unforgiveable for OP to sideline SD. Even if her fiance still married her, this will be an issue that will fester and even if it's years later and hasn't been mentioned in ages it'll be brought up again. SD will also be so hurt and probably never forgive OP. SIL is crazy and looking for any reason to cause a scene. Ignore her.

[@SilverstreamPJ28]

There can't be two flower girls because they don't want to. It's their wedding.

[@rubymeaddle]

​@@SilverstreamPJ28 that part, the SIL was told no and that's final

[@ScooterBond1970]

Even if the bride were willing, the mom would likely object that the other girl was taking precious attention away from her "golden baby".

[@brookelynnwu8016]

That’s too young to understand anything & follow basic directions of walking down the isle & throwing flowers. It’s common sense.

[@MrBizteck]

*HOW DARE* Sombody demand that their child be given special treatment at sombody ELSES wedding.

[@D-Dollie]

Story 2: what people seem to be forgetting is that OP’s stepdaughter is the flower girl in HER FATHER’S wedding! How does the SIL is justifying removing a little girl from her father’s wedding and put the niece in her place!?

[@ekuachrist]

You have a point, I didn't even think about that! We're so used to not considering the groom in weddings.

[@tamarak.8800]

Who in their right mind wants the groom to cut out his daughter for the brides nice.... OP should keep a close eye on how her stepdaughter will be treated by her family.

[@sylvestercat1898]

I get the vibe that there’s some “step-daughter isn’t real blood” feelings going on with SIL.

[@judelbugsrutter6727]

💯

[@nela3986]

She is going to spoil that little girl rotten. I can see how she wants everyone to bend over for the child while being completely unemphatic to everyone else. Jezzus...

[@hellhog3252]

Story 2: I fully expect to hear a story from OP down the road about her sister having a meltdown at them announcing their pregnancy

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

And hell breaks loose when it happens to be twins, making it "extra special"😄

[@angelatrent8268]

And expecting the baby shower to be all about her daughter as well lol

[@Wtfamidoing2970]

Is it bad that the words “miracle baby” were in the title of the second story and I automatically knew that op wasn’t in the wrong? 😅

[@JuanRodriguez-tf7fh]

Miracle babies need to turn water into wine Otherwise stay the eff home 😅

[@kp2223]

Agreed. I hate the term "miracle baby." It's like implying that every other child is somehow less than

[@rubymeaddle]

​@@kp2223 it's also really damaging to the child as well

[@Bonaduece]

@@JuanRodriguez-tf7fh Now that would be a baby to have at a wedding. lol

[@ekuachrist]

​@@rubymeaddle Right?! The pressure they'll have to live with will be unimaginable.

[@thotimusprimeofficial273]

2: the step daughter is 6 AND is the daughter of the groom. that takes priority.

[@thecrebain6760]

Story 2: Oh no, parents thinking their child is the center of the universe again.

[@jerrystauffer2351]

Definitely main character syndrome

[@peeonthe3rdrail414]

For parents their child IS the center of their universe.

[@amokay746]

@@peeonthe3rdrail414 Fair point.

[@paulastiles5507]

@@peeonthe3rdrail414 Which is fine, but it's peak Main Character Syndrome to expect everyone else to make *your* child the center of *their* universe.

[@MdMzzz]

@@peeonthe3rdrail414 But only of THEIR universe, not of everyone else's. That's the difference. Did you miss it ?

[@Chris-qf5do]

For story 2, the groom would not want his daughter replaced as flower girl, and it's his wedding too.

[@rubymeaddle]

That part, I'd say the daughter of the groom takes priority over the nibling the bride isn't close to

[@AnnaL3m0n]

@@rubymeaddle It’s the OP’s niece, not nibling, thus making it even worse that SIL wants her child to be the flower girl. It wouldn’t make sense.

[@rubymeaddle]

@@AnnaL3m0n nibling is the gender neutral form of neice and nephew, and the word is over 100 years old. And by "not close", I mean OP doesn't seem to have a bond with the little girl. Don't correct me if you don't know what you're talking about.

[@D-Dollie]

Exactly. People seems to forget about who this 6 year old is!!

[@catte.]

All I could think about during the wedding story was Poppy as a ring bearer, that would be so adorable.

[@MorganVsTheInternet]

Yes! I love it when people include their pets in their wedding ceremonies! It would be cute to have Poppy on a silk cushion being carried in like a princess! 😂

[@carlrood4457]

It seems pretty simple. Stepdaughter is a closer relative to groom than the niece is to the bride.

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

Or even more simple. If the bride and groom wanted the niece as flower girl, they would've approached the SIL and BIL themselves. No approach = don't expect your kid to be the flower girl.

[@Tammohawk1]

2. My youngest son is also a "miracle" baby. I had 4 miscarriages between him and his older brother and when he was only 1, I had to have a hysterectomy. I shouldn't have been able to have him at all. But I never demanded that anyone "honor" him for any reason. Nor was he the golden child. He and his brother were treated as equally as possible. That little one won't remember being the flower girl or not. But the step daughter most definitely will. OP is doing the right thing.

[@madambutterfly1997]

Let's be realistic your stepdaughter is six and this wedding might very well be a core memory for her going forward so if you break her heart and deny her this opportunity that core memory is going to stay with her for the rest of your life for as long as you are married to her father and she might very well hate and resent you going forward

[@JuanRodriguez-tf7fh]

What is this? Inside Out?

[@madambutterfly1997]

@@JuanRodriguez-tf7fh touché motherfucker. In all seriousness, the stepdaughter could end up having that heartbreak be the default thing she remembers when thinking of OP.

[@rubymeaddle]

​@@JuanRodriguez-tf7fh Inside Out was based on actual concepts in neuroscience 🤨 it's even being used in clinical settings to explain emotions to childrne

[@D-Dollie]

Not to mention, this is the 6 year old’s father’s wedding!!

[@madambutterfly1997]

@@D-Dollie you can't tell the groom his child can't participate especially when he and the child mutually agreed to it

[@Swnsasy]

I absolutely understand where he's coming from but no, do NOT put them both together. He will undo the therapy that she got through.. He feels he's got to help but on this, not in that house.. Tia doesn't need to forgive Maya at all. What people go through with abuse is NOT shared, it's taken differently.. Find Maya a place but not with Tia...

[@ShadowDevotion]

Maya got her own place in the Update, but they are still in Therapy alltogether ( Joint Therapy )

[@TerraMcgarden]

I had adults pour every ounce of energy into making sure a 2 year old had the most unforgettable time at a theme park growing up while they had 2 10 year-olds they ignored/ neglected. Guess who forgot the fun but never forgave/ forgot? Glad OP is putting their foot down for their step kid

[@PuppyKatt]

Story 1: YTA I come from a similar background, and although I am in my mid 60's now, I still have a very difficult time forgiving my and my 2 brothers' abusers and their golden children. Our mother enabled her second husband and the children from the second marriage, and although both parents and both step-parents have since passed, as have my 2 brothers, my mother's second set of children still are entitled and abusive. Forgive everyone? I must, because it is commanded of me. Forget? Not going to happen. Give the entitled half-siblings more chances? I have gone completely nc, so that is also not going to happen. My half-siblings from mother's second marriage are also trying to abuse my now adult children, and this MOMMA BEAR temporarily comes out of the nc, goes grizzly on the half siblings, then goes full nc again.

[@cici_tlb4009]

@@kingkoopah3968 Maya has to make changes on her own, not with the help of the people she bullied and tormented for years. Your supposed to get help, change, and than reconnect with your victims, not connect with your victims and move in with them. Sp yes OP is also to blame by rushing Maya’s redemption before she’s even had a little life beyond the bullying and torment, in fact he’s probably damaged any chance at maya and tia reconciling in the future.

[@cici_tlb4009]

@@kingkoopah3968 no, no no, don’t tell people to give abusers a chance before they’ve PROVEN it. Don’t tell people to put themselves in danger for someone elses redemption arc

[@cici_tlb4009]

@@kingkoopah3968 no, she’s not a victim. Im sorry, did you think you can excuse years of torment (PSYCHOLOGICAL TORMENT) by going “mommy made me do it”. No. You hurt people for years and didn’t feel guilty until you yourself started to become the victim, thats great you know you did bad now, but you stopped being a victim when it drove your siblings away.

[@bigclown23]

@@cici_tlb4009 whether or not you like it, Maya was a victim too just not in the same way as Tia

[@vidhead85]

Story 1: YTA, Tia doesn't want her there and you left home bc of how your parents treated Mya better than both of you. You can help her in many ways without putting her under your roof. It's not a good idea Flower Girl: NTA, just because Niece is the center of THEIR life doesn't mean she has to be the center of YOURS.

[@j.a.y.j.a.y.1107]

People often don't realize that the "golden child" dynamic IS ALSO A FORM OF ABUSE. I've seen comments jumping on this dude but not one of them mentioned how op was also abused and was parentified when he was a child himself. He actions were misguided but then he fixed the situation and Reddit was still jumping on him for simply stating that he hoped his sister could reconcile with each other, just wishful thinking, but commentors acted like he's trying to force Tia to forgive Maya. The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

[@Plaprad]

That's the thing that's been scaring me. "How dare you wish your sisters can make up!!!" Well, yeah, duh. I'd hope for it too, but I'd take no action other than letting them know I support them either way. Some people just sound like they only know how to hate, which is sad and scary.

[@zerobolt9506]

Anyone else a bit concerned about how Tia slightly acts regarding OP?

[@Tiger54658]

@@zerobolt9506 Absolutely. I understand why, but she appears extremely clingy and incapable of understanding, at least initially that she wasn't the only one who got fucked up due to time in that household. I'd imagine Tia would even be happy knowing maya was treated terribly after they left but they were still kids during all of that. Tia seems set in believing "people can't change" for now anyway.

[@Sylphella]

@@zerobolt9506 Based on what op said, Tia is possessive of him to the point of not wanting him to be with his fiance.

[@zerobolt9506]

@@Sylphella that's what I felt too, OP himself said she just wants it to be just them & that could have another meaning, Tia sounds like she's a bro-con & I hope it's only to the extent of attachment

[@TsukiKageTora]

Story 2: I barely remember being a flower girl at 4 years old. Being 2, that child will not remember it but the daughter of the groom will remember if she is replaced by a 2 year old that wouldn’t remember any of it for someone she doesn’t know because she had her after so many pregnancy complications

[@Yume10605]

For story 1 there is a lot of important info in op's comments. First Maya did attempt to end herself. Tia is very codependent on op. Op is actively planning to chose his sisters over his Fiance. Tia wants her and Op to be the only ones in each other's life. As in she doesn't want him to be with Maya or his Fiance. Op is doing joint therapy with Tia and Maya is going to separate therapy. This is a very bad situation over all and Maya isn't the root cause she is just a symptom.

[@Bob-cs8gs]

Oh wow that's some needed info that I feel like people overlook. Tia needs individual therapy. Her reaction sounds very much trauma driven, but is not healthy at all.

[@Yume10605]

@@Bob-cs8gs yes exactly and well it's also turning her into an abuser and bully as she is redirecting her anger at her parents onto Maya and op when he helps Maya well away from Tia.

[@HeoBaby24]

​@@Yume10605 she has every right to be mad at Maya. Idc if she was a victim she didn't have to face YEARS OF abuse like tia did. Only when they moved out is when she realizes how bad her sister got it. Maya ain't no victim

[@Yume10605]

@@HeoBaby24 she is a victim of Tia now who has turned into a bully and abuser of Maya and OP Tia is trying to isolate op from Maya and his fiance.

[@HeoBaby24]

@@Yume10605 well I don't see it that way. There's a difference between actively abusing and bully your sibling for years. Vs not wanting to see your sibling after you just got out a abusive situation. All tia did was voice her discomfort of not wanting to see Maya after years of mistreatment and abuse which she later got therapy for and has learn to deal with it Yah she wrong for not wanting op around his fiance but him wanting to help his sister I can understand. Doesn't make her a bully or abuser

[@threeducks157]

Cautionary tale about using toddlers for those roles. When i was 3 I was made to be the ring bearer for my aunts wedding. Well everything was fine untill about midway though the isle. As soon i hit the mid way mark i let out a thunderous fart snd crapped my self. I was so upset i sat on the floor and cried. I pretend nowadays i don't have memories of that day but its a big fat lie as i can remember as far back to my 3rd bday party when I accidentally uppercut punched the poor clown on the nads lol.

[@necieau2700]

You would have been fun to grow up with

[@condorboss3339]

Story 2: How can a 2-year old be a flower girl? Way too young for that.

[@13thMaiden]

My cousins had their 2 year old as a flower girl. It's not hard if there's someone they trust helping them. They can easily be coached to throw flowers and walk down an aisle. It depends on the 2 year old.

[@rubymeaddle]

​@@13thMaiden she can't walk independently yet

[@Whitneypyant]

@@rubymeaddle you can have a bridesmaid walk with her

[@rubymeaddle]

@@Whitneypyant and op didn't want that

[@SilverstreamPJ28]

Story 2: Ok, random, but how cute is a 10 year old groomsman? Omg

[@ComaLies225]

Op is an ahole. He’s not an ahole for helping Maya, that’s noble of him. He’s an ahole for thinking Tia is being unfair to not forgive her sister. She doesn’t have fto forgive if she’s not ready to and OP can’t tell how Tia should feel

[@user-nb8tk6hh6x]

And Tia is an ass for expecting her brother not to help Maya

[@cici_tlb4009]

7:43 again, if her parents didnt do a 180, she would not be begging for forgiveness. I bet Tia knows that. I wouldn’t forgive her ever either, and I hope Tia holds her ground and leaves once she has the opportunity because even if your childhood tormenter is now getting tormented too doesn’t mean she’s a trustworthy person. Brother is delusional if he thinks Maya is a complete different person, i bet Tia still sees bullying tendencies in her that OP wouldnt see cause he didn’t witness all the abuse.

[@samoanjoseph1457]

Story 2: There were two references to somebody carrying the niece. Meaning either she can't walk, or she can't move in a straight line without help. Which suggests she is a bit young to be a flower girl, and too young to even know or care she would be in a wedding. Meaning that would all be for her mother, rather than the niece. And the day already isn't about either of them.

[@TailsFan]

She would be 2, so likely wouldn't be able to walk.

[@evavocative6975]

I feel so horrible for Tia. She finally got a home she felt safe with her brother in, and then brother moves in the sister who helped make her life hell. Just because Maya is sorry, that doesn't instantly undo all the trauma that she caused Tia. Maya is no longer treated like the princess and now wants out, but that doesn't mean that Tia should be displaced because of it once more.

[@tombailey1059]

He's trying to make it work because they're family. There's a dynamic, a meaningful dynamic, at play. He's trying to solve a problem of human relations in a natural and reasonable fashion. I can't help but notice that the rise of psychotherapy has coincided with a rise in black/white, ally or enemy mentality. Does therapy strengthen what's inside, or does it actually just clear a sizable radius around each paying customer and promote the idea that anyone invited back be medically approved? It's a very strange and unforgiving way of living.

[@terraguttierez2996]

@@tombailey1059 maya randomly reached out to us doesnt seem like an apology to me. You abuse someone? The least you can do is apologize.

[@randomusername3873]

​@@tombailey1059 but he can't help everybody and make everybody's happy, the situation between the sisters is beyond repair Sometimes you just need to accept that things are ruined

[@abelink9229]

@@tombailey1059 Being born to the same parents isn't automatically meaningful. It's how those children grow that truly makes them siblings in spirit rather than the letter. Maya and Tia are only sisters on paper, there's no love.

[@user-nb8tk6hh6x]

Nah fuck Tia is she’s that comfortable throwing out a teenager she doesn’t pay rent so she can learn to suck it up

[@victorvaldez8869]

Story Two: If I was OP I'd also tell his sister that, frankly the day isn't about her & her child, so for ONCE let someone else have the spotlight. Frankly such idolization because of how hard the niece was to conceive may be detrimental to her if she keeps being made the center of attention by the family when that rug will inevitably get pulled out from under her when she goes to school & isn't the star because of the mere fact that her conception was hard. Other kids aren't going to give a damn about that & if she grows up expecting that treatment as the default she's going to be sorely disappointed once it stops.

[@wildfyah]

I love your side stories Mark 😂kids are very unpredictable

[@las9582]

I wonder if the golden child would still be remorseful if her parents weren't treating her like crap.

[@katwiltz1134]

Probably not but that's how it works both kids were being abused just one felt so much better about it because it feels like it's being The Golden Child but really it's a destruction atombombe that you're putting in their life also. Praises given to you what is a given to you or the given against your sister it sucks both kids up.

[@jackspring7709]

Of course not.

[@jackspring7709]

@@katwiltz1134 Yeah - I'm sure Mia suffered horribly being treated like the golden girl. My heart goes out to her lol.

[@ruthsaunders9507]

@@jackspring7709 Its just as evil and destructive. They taught her to be evil in order to have love, then they withdrew the love when they didn't have anyone else to torture.

[@jackspring7709]

@@ruthsaunders9507 They only turned on her after their scapegoat left. And yeah - my heart bleeds for the golden child: I know, out of the 2 of them, which one I feel sympathy for. At some stage she was old enough to think for herself but she still carried on what she was doing.

[@scourgedarkpaw9949]

Story 1: it isn't about the kid. It's about the mother wanting attention at someone else's wedding

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

Jup, and she got this attention either way. Had OP said yes then mum+"miracle baby" would've gotten the attention for being a flower girl. And now she's getting her attention because "OP hates the family's miracle baby and doesn't want her to be a flower girl." I bet at the wedding there'll be more drama. Or before. Taking the kid to the dress shopping causing a scene, wanting the kid to be the first to eat the wedding cake, wanting the kid to carry the rings, putting the kid in a tiny wedding dress etc.

[@scourgedarkpaw9949]

@@Nathan_Bookwurm I agree.

[@tashajl8592]

Story 1: OP putting Tia in the same environment as one of her abusers will undo some work that therapy has done, plus the fact Tia saw OPs place as a safe space where the abusers aren't. OP sounds like he has a hero complex, but I am glad he realized before it was too late for Tia's sake. Story 2: OP isn't the AH as it's her wedding, the miracle baby doesn't take priority over the step-daughter. As this role was promised to the SD and taking that away just for a niece who probably won't remember the day the level of entitlement is ridiculous, she'd probably hate it if she was told it's child-free or to take the child out while having a meltdown during the ceremony.

[@dandotvid]

She's not only the stepdaughter of the bride, she's the *daughter* of the groom! That right there trumps any other familial claims to the flower girl role.

[@Yume10605]

Story 1 op doesn't have a savior complex op was preantified when he lived with his parents. So he sees himself responsible for his sisters.

[@tashajl8592]

@@dandotvid Exactly!

[@tashajl8592]

@@Yume10605 Yeah true, it was the only thing that came to mind, I didn't really think about him being parentified, because of the way it was written it just seemed that way

[@Yume10605]

@@tashajl8592 yeah it's cause op doesn't see it that way cause he is still lost to it. And I understand it's hard on Tia trust me but is it really right to leave the younger sister their to be abused? Op found a good solution in the endby not bringing Miya into his hope but still helping her.

[@kittenswithbows]

To have been at that wedding where the ring bearer got to the end and just YEEEEEET 😂😂😂😂

[@MegaWuggles]

story 2 - so let me get this straight....they expect a 6 year old to be understanding....but the 30+ year old with her own child doesn't have to be? Talk about entitled

[@Silence-1170]

Hi waffles hope you all have a great rest of your night! Had lunch and caught up with my mom earlier. Stay safe and stay positive waffles!

[@justaperson4656]

Thank you! I'm procrastinating Spanish ATM, but I want to learn it to surprise my Brazilian friend because he's been there for a few of my low points and he deserves the good vibes. I hope you also have a good night 💖

[@kd4674]

I'm 26 and still have memories from when I was 5 that little girl will cherish those memories for the rest of her life op is definitely making the right choice

[@Joyfullscroll]

Think Ross Gellar of "Friends". His Parents ranted till he was Over an Adult how he was a "Miracle Child" At the expense of his sister Monica (who was born later).

[@davidsantiagotate7380]

Very much looking forward to having updates on both of these stories!

[@Nerdificent]

It seems like SIL is using her 'miracle baby' to make things about her. Her kid doesn't need to be honoured any more than any other human being. SIL is living vicariously through her daughter.

[@DragonTatooToo]

Since niece is so small, it is clear that SIL wants to gloat as she carries her down the aisle. SIL will want to wear white, too, no doubt.

[@gregjayonnaise8314]

Story 1: YTA, but I also feel everyone is being a bit TOO harsh on OP. Was it unfair for OP to ask Tia to forgive Maya? Absolutely, Tia owes Maya no forgiveness, and OP was prioritizing Maya’s reconciliation with Tia over Tia’s own trauma. At the same time… Maya is also OP’s little sister, and, if OP had simply chosen to never contact her again or something also drastic, chances are that she would have been further traumatized by her own parents due to the lack of positive influence. Maya was the golden-child-turned-scapegoat who acted abusively because the abusive dynamic sets children against each other. That’s not an excuse, and Tia owes her no forgiveness, but Maya is also a victim in need of help, and OP wanting to help her isn’t inherently wrong. I get it, though. OP clearly was trivializing Tia’s feelings, and I appreciate that the update showed him helping both girls in a way that doesn’t compromise Tia. Maya can still grow, she just needs to do it AWAY from Tia.

[@silverwurm]

Agreed. He needed correction but deserved NONE of the hate

[@bluebeanie561]

Before hearing Story 2 comments: I understand that it will be ask why not two flower girls or let SIL hold the niece with the stepdaughter down the aisle. But And here's a BIG but OP already mentioned that SIL makes every event about her daughter. How do we know she'll try to overshadowed or get limelight of the girl and the girl is old enough (possibly gone to some family functions) to know people will be talking about ONE flower girl and it won't be her. Even the partner is grateful that daughter will keep being a flower girl.

[@juanhaines7295]

Story 1 I heard this one before. Op was living a fantasy thinking he could get his sisters to reconcile. Tias hate is understandable.

[@iononcantomascrivo]

​@MosesBEAR 90 relatable. My brother was the golden child and I was the one who was often told to do better by my parents. They held me to a higher set of standards and expected me to be my brother's watchdog. They wanted me to keep him out of trouble. He was defiant. He had no respect for boundaries, zero comprehension of the word no and no accountability thus no expectation there would be reprisals or consequences for his behavior. When he ended up in a jam, my parents always connived, manipulated and bailed him out of every conflict he ever found himself in. This led him to being completely incapable of functioning in the real world and his problems only persisted as he devolved into a downward spiral of drug abuse and trouble with the law. He passed away just before last Thanksgiving at age 41. At least my dad isn't here to see it as he passed away 12 years ago. My mom is a wreck though. I wish I could muster up some sympathy but I'm just feeling numb. I warned my mom. I told her so. She pissed away half of her 401k trying to save him. You can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved. It all comes down to free will. I still have trauma, anxiety and severe PTSD from the way I was psychologically, emotionally, mentally and sometimes physically abused by my brother and my father for standing up to him by calling out his obvious blatant favoritism. It's made me an awkward head case who is terrible at social interactions and I don't date. It also doesn't help that my father wrote me off when I came out of the closet and treated my drug addict brother better than me because he was hetero. This is getting super long. In short, yeah right, I totally understand where Tia is coming from

[@PrincessLioness]

@@iononcantomascrivo I hope you’re no contact with your mom. Often times abuser want to get in your good graces when they have no else and need help.

[@iononcantomascrivo]

@@PrincessLioness Actually, Mom and I reconciled and admitted to everything. She even admitted to playing the favorite. She was terrified of my father. She cried a lot after he passed away because she felt relief that he had died. The relief gave way to guilt because she wasn't missing him. I cried for the same reasons. I'm going to Amanda he should have been but I felt no grief whatsoever. Naturally when I would cry in front of people when they asked me how I was doing they thought I was grieving his loss and missing him. They couldn't have been more wrong. I must have forgiven him at some point because 5 years later on Father's Day, seeing everyone happy with their fathers and grandfathers, with gifts and flowers and cake (I'm a server), I couldn't take it. I was a crying, blubbering mess all day long. A friend of mine who is in college to be a psychologist took me aside (she was there with her family) and analyzed me. She told me I had forgiven him. It was the only explanation that I was able to cry. She said she didn't need her psychology degree to tell me that. I'm better now. Still, there'll be tears even when I least expected over what should have been. I know you understand

[@PrincessLioness]

@@iononcantomascrivo Hmm, perhaps you cried because of what you missed out on. You mourned not the man but what he should have been as a father and also the fact that there’s no chance for him to be that and for you to experience that (at least with him). That’s why it was other good fathers that triggered the crying not say a picture of your father. But I could be wrong. Was your mom still favoring your brother even after your mom passed?

[@iononcantomascrivo]

@@PrincessLioness Nail meet hammer. I missed who he should have been. I knew with his passing, that the chance of us ever having to relationship a father and son should have had as slim to anorexic as it was, had died with him. Yeah, she still play favored with my brother after my dad died.

[@TheFoodGuideOfL]

The comment about a toddler being too young for a flower girl reminded me of when I used to dance. We were split up by age/skill and the performance for the 3-5 year olds was always an adventure. Some kids threw tantrums, some kids ran back off stage to play with the fun looking sound equipment they walked past, once a kid went to the edge of the stage and shouted for her mom to pick her up... It was always fun to watch. But rarely went according to plan. So I can imagine not wanting to involve super young kids in a wedding, lol

[@BraveryWing26]

These parents are beyond awful. When they didnt have the rejected children they turned on the golden child.

[@Kelseyzj]

I just wanted to say thank you. I am listening to an older episode and I know you’ve mentioned your parents in the past which always breaks my heart. But my mom was recently diagnosed with cancer and has months to live. It has been hard and I cry constantly. It doesn’t help that I’m pregnant. 😂 But hearing you mention it’s good to let your body go through it is a good reminder for me. I am usually big on “cry it out, don’t hold in your emotions” until it comes to myself and I’m like “this isn’t an appropriate time to cry, or I don’t want a headache and stuffy nose the rest of the day.” But it is really important and idk I’m just waffling at this point. But this is truly going to be the hardest experience in my lifetime since I lost my dad. She is my best friend, we’re so much alike and are always there for each other. She gives the best advice, she doesn’t meet a person that doesn’t love her. We talk on the phone for over an hour every day. And much more. She also talks to my son on face time everyday and he’s going to miss the heck out of her too. But hearing your awesome stories about your family is just what I need to hear. ❤️ And constant reminders to enjoy the time we have left and all of your other wonderful advice. Ty Ty Ty.

[@LetholdusKaspyr]

The purpose of a wedding is not to honor your family members' children.

[@damealeta3541]

Story2: OMG The parents of that baby act like she's the Christ Child reborn! Enough, I'd tell that to the woman's face and see how she reacts. Yeah, you got to have a bio baby. Now get over it and move along. You're not the first and won't be the last.

[@rubymeaddle]

SIL is trying to take a role from a 6yo for her daughter who won't even remember the wedding

[@RemusHolt]

Story 1 YTA I think it’s really gross, that he thinks just because he can forgive maya Tia should forgive maya and I think it’s really gross how, after a year, he still thinks that Tia should forgive maya. Tia’s feelings are valid. he seems to only focus on his perspective and his feelings. And he seems to pretend that peoples comments and reactions weren’t valid they were

[@Batman-lg2zj]

Actually no it’s not

[@dream6562]

So his feelings are completely invalid, I'm sorry Tia can feel however she wants but acting like this she is forcing her to take sides with someone who is genuinely trying to change, I'm sorry but that's messed up op is nta

[@bruuh0_0]

​@@dream6562 good on her for trying to change, but that doesn't fix the past trauma. She isn't owned forgiviness

[@dream6562]

@Bruna Duarte yeah from tia, you also can't keep a person from accepting someone's forgiveness either

[@RemusHolt]

@@bruuh0_0 👍🖤

[@jennywhite2462]

Story 2. I am so tired of people thinking their miracle baby is somehow more special and important then other children. Every child is special and important to their parents. OPs step daughter being involved in her father's wedding and included in her new family is more important then stoking SIL ego the kid is 18 months old and needs to be carried she isn't going to remember this wedding.

[@rayneingdown]

Got to listen to this while on lunch break, gulping down orange juice and a honey peanut butter raspberry jelly sandwich, and ooooof I was a scapegoat victim who was also abused by the golden child, and I agree with all of those comments. OP was blind and perpetuating the cycles of abuse by ignoring Tia’s needs for Maya’s, and I’m glad they straightened up and did the right thing in the end. I know I’ll never forgive my sister, so I don’t blame Tia for not doing the same. Also the SIL with the rainbow baby is acting narcissistic and needs professional help for her extreme urges to parade her child everywhere. That poor kid. I’m glad OP stood up for their daughter in law.

[@EllieC130]

Story 2: Ew, does niece's parents expect a red carpet to be extended for her all her life ffs. Yes, her birth was cause for much celebration especially after their struggle. I'd even go as far as to say it should get it's own holiday once a year. You could call it, I don't know, A BIRTHDAY.

[@necieau2700]

Hahaha good point well made

[@alicewilloughby4318]

Story 2 - Although OP doesn't actually say so, I get the impression that they come from a fairly large family. If so, the niece will probably have other chances to be a flower girl or some other role where she gets to shine - probably when she's a more appropriate age than 2!

[@matthewuzulis5016]

S1: OP kept pissing me off saying he knows how Tia felt, no, no he does not. He got some of it while raising them but Tia was also there getting a share of it, then OP moves out and it's ALL on Tia for 5 years with Maya now adding on which OP never mentions happening to himself. While I can get behind what OP is hoping, I despise how blind they choose to be about their methods or what actually is there. S2: I hate when new parents want the world to revolve around their child, I've seen it with some people first hand and luckily I don't think any of them have been a miracle baby which I could see causing an elevated degree of BS [Not knocking miracle babies or all the parents of them, just some take it too far] I wish OP and future husband/kids a happy wedding with no drama, not sure if it will work out but I still wish them the best.

[@hodgeelmwood8677]

Story 2: Baby's mom is trying to make the wedding all about her and her child. She needs therapy. You have your child, now sit down and let other people have their special milestone events.

[@rylashadow18]

S1) "Unfortunately Tia refuses to forgive.." As is her right she was abused by your parents and your sister. An "I'm sorry" isn't going to instantly make it better. "...I think she's being unfair." Want to know what's unfair. Being abused by your parents, being a scapegoat for your golden child younger sister and needing to escape from that abuse. "I wanted to ask her to move in with me." Why? Isn't Tia stayin with you. Paying the bills or not its still her home. She has a right to feel safe, secure and welcomed there. To turn around and say "Do this or else." Makes you no better than your crud ball parents. If I heard you say that to me I'd take you up on the offer, not pay one more red cent before leaving and cut you both off instantly. You and that brat sister whose getting her way again would be dead to me. Here's another question when did Maya make it right to Tia before asking you for help? I'll wait to hear your answer. You don't get to bring someone's abuser into their safe haven and tell them to deal. You're so like your parents. Guess what OP? Tia doesn't owe Maya forgiveness. She owes no one who abused her or aided in her abuse forgiveness. Then to say "Well she's sorry" If it's good enough for you fine live with it. Tia doesn't have to take words when Maya's actions were what showed her where she mattered to Maya. Down playing that in any way shape or form says you're just as bad as your parents. End of. Good that you learned you can fix someone else's damage and force forgiveness. S2) This is not just your wedding day OP. It's for your step son, stepdaughter and future SO. SIL wants the spotlight on her at every second she gets. The saying "It's our wedding day for our family to come together as one. Not for you to go about saying "Pay attention to me I'm important." You can either respect our wishes as the bride and groom or you can choose not to come. Either way our day is exactly that. A day for us to celebrate not only coming together as husband and wife but a nice start as becoming a family." Then tell your mom if she's so uptight about giving your sister a special day they can go have a cry baby party, build a bridge and learn to get over themselves. Also if possible put in a word with the DJ and a pic of SIL letting him know she's not allowed near a mic for any reason. Go about enjoying your wedding to your new family with those that love, support and stand by your choices.

[@drakeaciago6491]

It no Op work to Tía, he Is not a parent, never esa, nobody Is thinking of OP feeling

[@Alias_Anybody]

OP has been going above and beyond for his sisters, emotionally and financially, so him wanting them to get along is honestly absolutely understandable because it would make everything so much easier for him. Guy was abused too and has a breaking point after all. Doesn't make it a good idea but have some mercy for that man.

[@MorganVsTheInternet]

2- NTA,the whole miracle baby crap is getting out of hand! It's a miracle for YOU the rest of us just see another baby!

[@jackspring7709]

Story1: Well at least reddit set him straight in the end.

[@catsncrows]

Story 2 when niece hits school age and there are other children who...exist😱

[@CooperGal24]

Story Two: NTA The sister and her husband are just looking for excuses to parade their daughter around and make her the “main character” in almost every family or special event. Lady, you had a child, not the next messiah or chosen child. You and your husband are not entitled to brag about how “we’ve tried for SO long, look at the by product we’ve made together!”. It’s honestly horrible how some entitled parents would use their children for attention or whatever, and I’m willing to bet the niece is gonna be sick and tired of being used for something like that.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

I can already see it now. As soon as their golden miracle child does something they don't like, she's gone. I can understand struggling to have children, but this doesn't mean you can parade your miracle child like they're a trophy. Lots of people struggle with infertility.

[@13thMaiden]

Story 2) While 2 year olds can be flower girls, anything under 6 is a crapshoot on how it will go down. Even after that kids can get ideas in their heads and try something (my cousins had young children in their wedding, the boys (7&2) decided to run down the aisle in a stroller and the 2 y/o girl threw flowers at ppl rather than the floor and refused to get out of the way of her parents coming down the aisle. I was 5 when I was a flower girl with my other cousin who was 4, we threw the flowers at each other while running down the aisle giggling like any littles, then dumped the rest out in front of the altar, meanwhile the 3 y/o ring bearer took the ring and sat on the pillow by the altar as we all continued to throw flowers at each other till our parents grabbed us. 🤣) So it's inviting chaos which some brides/grooms just can't handle. Secondly, stepchild trumps niece, them's the rules. Sister needs therapy and stop trying to get ppl to worship this kid. I'm a frickin' rainbow baby, but my Mama never screamed it to the rafters, I didn't even know it until I was an adult, she never saw a need to bring it up. Stand firm on your stance OP!!

[@DisneyChar]

You kicked out the victim to invite in the bully.

[@pollyandfriends]

I had my almost 2 year old nephew as the ring barer. When I told my sister she said that since he is not even 2 we will have no way to control him doing his part how I want it done. I explained to my sister whatever my nephew did would be perfect for me. He refused to walk so the Jr Brides maid (an older flower girl) carried him the put him down where she had to start speading flowers. Me and my husband walked down together and we each took one of his hands to finish walking him over to the rest of the wedding party to ne with his parents. My sister was my maid of honor and my brother in law was best man. We even had Legos behind where we were sitting so he could play quickly. He was the only child in our immediate family and I wanted him there doing this more than anything. But my sister would not have ever pushed me to include him, especially if I had a stepchild who wanted to do it. This couple is obsessed and unhindered to act this wsy

[@Boingoelf1]

Story 2:that child is going to be a holy terror when she gets older. NTA she’s a baby and won’t care

[@howdelydoo]

S1: I think NAH. Everyone is doing what they think is best based on their own experiences.

[@vanillablossom]

Well, it's right, neither OP nor his sisters were wrong in this situation, but also the parents are true aholes here. They managed (i.e. for always needing a scapegoat on hand) to give ALL their kids mental issues worth years of therapy.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

I agree. I think the only A-holes here are the parents.

[@vraptor1491]

S1: I feel like this was a lose-lose situation with OP considering aftermath of his parents abuse. On the one side his sister is full of resentment that will never waver from what it sounds like, and on the other, he feels the guilt of not getting both sisters out of that hellscape of an environment. There should be a point in life where it shouldn't matter who was catered/coddled more, there's only existing, surviving, and moving forward. The YTA comment saying that he's choosing his golden sister, would they happy if he had rejected her just the same even with all the guilt he had about only saving one of them? I think not. To that extent, I'd give it a NAH, as all emotions at the time were valid. The processing of these emotions is definitely needed for everyone in that story

[@glass9137]

S2: Does no one see that this isnt about the baby? SIL just wants the attention. Stop. Giving. Her. Attention. Shes not the first or the last person on this planet to struggle carrying a kid to term. She. Is. Not. Special. Keep telling her that, ignoring her TMI tirades and it’ll sink in.

[@redtailarts101]

As a former 6 year old, no, she will not understand why a baby should get the role instead just because her parents had to wait a long time to have her. I don't even understand why the baby should get the role or be honored at the wedding. The poor baby is gonna grow up in a dichotomy of being spoiled by her parents and some other adults, and resented by the rest of the family. It's gonna be rough.

[@DreamyDuskywing]

I was a flower girl as a 2 year old. I was NOT old enough 😂 I refused to carry my little flower basket and the marine best man ended up carrying it around 😅 I didn't want my photos taken either and would hide. It makes way more sense for the step daughter to be included in the ceremony. At 6 or 8 she is old enough for this to be a lasting memory for her. And being included like her brother as her dad marries will be a big deal as they welcome the bride into their family. The SIL needs some help, just because that baby is a miracle to her parents doesn't mean she's anything other than a new baby to everyone else. Yes it's wonderful that they fell pregnant and had a beautiful baby girl, but it doesn't make said baby more important than any other baby family member.

[@NeroTheDarklord]

About the second story: every bad behavior has its origin. Sometimes it is difficult to understand where someone's attitude comes from. In this case, I can completely understand how the couple developed such a mindset after their dreams being challenged and ultimately crushed for years. Of course their baby means everything to them now. And even with all that understanding, it still doesn't make this behavior okay. They have been repeatedly told they are going overboard and have ignored it. If unacceptable behavior perpetuates, people eventually stop being nice. That's just how goes and it is also understandable why. They are going to raise their kid to become a spoiled and equally entitled brat. People try to warn them of this before it is too late. But if they keep being adamant, they are going to lose friends, family and ultimately have to deal with the consequences of their raising all by themselves.

[@hellmark6666]

Hope you're having a wonderful day/night mark!

[@princesssunshine874]

yta: Is she seriously a different person? It sounds like MIa only reached out because she needed something. I doubt she would acknowledging your existence if she was still the golden child.

[@SheenaReine]

lmfao my oldest yeeted the ring pillow at my brothers wedding. they were only 2, so no patience. everyone in the church laughed.

[@HandleUnclear]

Unfortunately many people do not understand the manipulation and trauma that are behind the scenes of being a golden child. I know it's not the same for every golden child, but in my experience I was a yes man to my narcissistic father in fear of him not loving me and meeting the same abuse as the rest of my family members. I grew up in a narcissistic family structure, where I was both the golden child (for my father) and the scapegoat (for everyone else). Naturally because everyone else treated me so unfairly (physical and emotional abuse), I started to think poorly of them and felt it was deserved when my father abused them in return, as a child it just seemed like they had it coming and maybe my dad was mean to them because they are bad people. However, at the same time I saw the love and affection they gave my younger sister and I wanted them to love me too. I was never intentionally mean to my sister, or intentionally hurt her (as she would lie and get me an ass whooping if I do much as "hurt her feelings"), I did however resent her deeply and relished when our father compared her to me. As I grew older, I realized the way I felt towards my sister was both wrong and unhealthy, so I told her I would no longer foster the competition and disdain, if she wants to continue down that path she can do it without me. It took her a while, since she was 6 yrs younger than me, but she finally understood what I told her, and she also mellowed out. Now we both equally dislike our family and moved as far away as possible, but suffer from the equivalent of Stockholm syndrome where if they say jump we'll both ask how high (based on which family member asks lol) I understand Tia's pain, however painting Maya as a villain when she was also just a child who for better or worse doing what she thought she needed to survive and win the approval of her parents (which is evident in her character change as she grew older). Tia is still perpetuating the family dynamic, not OP by helping Maya and having her in his life.

[@xxratsrcutexx3494]

Story 2 reminds me of that rainbow baby wedding Story... hope that poor little girl doesn't end up with the same behaviour as him :(

[@crazypyp5871]

Even if she is genuinely remorseful, she was still an abuser. Even though she became a victim of that same abuse after her own victim escaped, she still tormented someone for years. She isn’t a “different person” but the same person. Except now she is regretful of her actions and wants to make amends. But she is that same person. Calling her a different person paints it as her not actually being the one to do these things but someone else. When that is not the case. Maya needs a good home but not at the expense of Tia.

[@momshardrockvideos]

Please don’t ever give in to your sil/bil. They are the complete AHs and you need to uninvite them. They gave caused to much drama and you know they will absolutely say crap about you at the wedding to make it all about them.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Story 2 this miracle baby foolishness is just dumb AF. For you to be thankful to God or whatever deity if any you acknowledge, I'm all for it. But expecting anyone else to make wild concessions for YOUR child is just absurd. SIL is a manipulative AH, crying after being turned down for something she shouldn't have had the gaul to ask. This is such an abusive thing to do to your child. When life bites them in the bum and let's them know you lied their whole life and they're not that special, your bad patenting will be to blame. NTA

[@haannishh]

My niece was flower girl when she was a toddler but that was also my sister, her mom's wedding. So yeah op did the right thing

[@drea4195]

Story 1: imagine you were severely bullied in childhood, and that as an adult your sibling insisted that your childhood bully come live with you "or you can just leave". Why? "Because they were bullied too, and you just need to learn to forgive them." Uh, no. That's not how any of that works.

[@user-nb8tk6hh6x]

She’s not the only victim she’s an adult I could never imagine dropping a teenager for an adult couldn’t ever be me, Tia is selfish

[@BraveryWing26]

I am so glad everyone called out first OP. He really failed Tia.

[@FanFicnic]

It’s very normal for the golden child to become the target when the others leave.

[@silverwurm]

Story 1: core advice was valid, and I’m glad op corrected course but seriously, he deserves exactly NONE of the hate he got.

[@dream6562]

And honestly I'm angry at tia, yes she doesn't have to forgive Maya, but she also shouldn't stop op from accepting her forgiveness if he wants to

[@Yume10605]

​@@dream6562 thank you for seeing the real issue.

[@Yume10605]

Agree yes moving Maya in without caring how Tia felt wasn't the best. But he is trying to save his sisters from the seriously bad situation they are all in.

[@rachelmartin5187]

Yes! I was thinking the exact same thing. It's terrible that Tia was abused and that that Maya was the source of said abuse (even thought she dealt with a bulk of abuse and manipulation herself). But people seem to have forgotten that the OP was abused too!! He also has trauma which forced him to move out and grow up fast. This man is putting both of his sister's needs above his own well-being and instead of showing a little compassion, everyone is calling him an TA. Funny how Reddit is quick to call attention to Parentification and taking care of one's mental health, yet no one seems to be saying any of that, here.

[@dream6562]

@Rachel Martin that's because they see it as Maya automatically bad so anyone helping her is bad

[@LisaApril]

Story two: I would have a child free wedding with only my step children.

[@Josku2411]

Oop early and i can feel the exited jitters of imma gonna meet my friend soon but first i gotta sit in the fecken train for like 3h and then we get to do the same for another 3h

[@nikkid7838]

Can you imagine the monster the “miracle baby” is going to be?? The sheer entitlement she will have 😮 Growing up with the feeling “I need to be honoured “ Honour me” 🙄

[@InevitableSecrets]

It took three years, 6 or 7 medical procedures and hundreds of shots to get pregnant with my son who was then born two month early and had to be in the NICU. We tell him all the time he’s our little miracle and that we waited so long for him and he’s so precious to us. The key words there are WE and US and OUR. He’s not the world’s little miracle and he’s not so precious to them and we make sure he knows that as well. Also in what world does a niece take president over the actual child of one of the people getting married. And on top of that a six year old is FAR more reliable as a member of a wedding party than an unpredictable two year old. SIL needs to be a story over in r/entitled parents.

[@vickiclarke8788]

Pp

[@lyragwen1895]

2nd story: Tell the parents for them to honor her and you'll just love her as your niece. The answer is NO period.

[@LexysamaIllustrations]

Story 1: I think the people who are calling Tia selfish don't realize just how bad it was for her. All this, "Maya was a child" and "Tia is an adult she can get over it" is such bullshit. It doesn't matter the age. I know because I was treated similarly, except unlike Tia, I didn't have any allies. So imagine what it's like for Tia, to feel betrayed by the OP not once, not twice, but THREE times. The first when he moved out and she was left with no ally for five years. The second when he gave her an ultimatum and nearly kicked her out in favor of one of her abusers, and then there's the whole fiance thing. Now when I say this, I'm saying TIA feels this way. Is it unhealthy, yes, but it's still valid. I think Tia's biggest fear is the OP leaving her, and I doubt it has anything to do with incest and more that she fears her one ally in life will move on without her and that she'll be alone. Especially because the OP is choosing to have a relationship with one of her abusers and almost kicked her out over it. If I was in her situation, I'd feel betrayed too. She's more than likely feeling this way toward the fiance because she no longer trusts that the OP will be her ally after Maya reached out and he accepted her. She's also scared she's going to lose him altogether if he gets married. It's extremely unhealthy but it's purely based on FEAR, fear that is justified even if her actions are unhealthy. I say unhealthy specifically because everyone is calling it abuse and that's so stupid. What Maya did was abuse. Even though being the golden child is a form of abuse, it only truly turned abusive once the scapegoats were gone. And I've seen some people be skeptical of Maya and her intentions and they are VALID. Maya may have been a child back then but this was years upon years of learning how to manipulate others to get what she wants. I don't care how much Maya claims to have changed, that behavior doesn't just go away, nor do those skills. And people want to immediately call out anyone who are skeptical of her action as "gross" and "horrible" but it IS a possibility, and a very VALID one. Because she didn't reach out until AFTER her parents turned on her. Tia has a right to be suspicious, especially when the OP is choosing to have a relationship with Maya even after witnessing everything that happened to Tia. If I was Tia, I'd think that Maya was trying to manipulate the OP to her side and its VALID to think that way. So many people want to invalidate Tia's feelings because she's an adult but adults can still be traumatized from childhood abuse. Saying "Grow up" is the most immature response to someone suffering from trauma I've ever seen. Tia is valid and the OP is still TA because he knew what she went through and was willing to KICK HER OUT. I'm hoping that she can heal through therapy and find other people that she can trust to have her back, because I wouldn't trust the OP a single bit after that.

[@randomusername3873]

Thank you It's incredible that the more a person is a victim the higher the standard they are held to While the tormentor can just apologize and it's all cool

[@dream6562]

​@Random username you forget op was abused as well except op is willing to forgive Maya and try to reestablish a relationship, Tia can choose not to forgive maya but she can't control if op chooses to forgive her

[@LexysamaIllustrations]

@@dream6562 And the OP can’t force Tia to forgive Maya, which is something he wanted and basically tried to force her to do under the threat of kicking her out if she didn’t. He was dismissing her feelings even though she got the worst of the abuse. The OP was wrong, clear and simple.

[@dream6562]

@@LexysamaIllustrations I said she was free to not forgive her

[@LexysamaIllustrations]

@@dream6562 I know you said that. But your comment sounds more like you’re absolving the OP for the shitty thing they did. And even after everything he still wished Tia would just forgive Maya. The way he phrased it, it’s like he was saying she should get over it and seemed upset and disappointed that she wouldn’t after he was told he was the AH.

[@jerriewyatt905]

Story 2… Having a two year old as flower girl while cute, is unpredictable at best.. even if that role hadn’t already been promised to the groom’s daughter… to take that role away from a 6-7 year old it was promised to , would be unforgivable in my opinion.. not to mention the issue it might cause between the bride and groom…OP should point out she’s not willing to risk hurting her future stepdaughter just to appease her SIL and brother..If they can’t understand that, maybe they should just stay home..

[@TheBusyHoneyBee]

Story02. Flip the script. Doesn't SIL love her only niece? Doesn't your daughter have the right to be a flower girl on her own father wedding? Would SIL consider getting married again so your daughter can be the flower girl?

[@jmarie9997]

According to SIL, there ARE no other children in the world. This child is in for a shock when she finds out the real world doesn't see her as the second coming.

[@LoveableNiki]

My favorite outro!!! 💃🏿💃🏿💃🏿

[@emcustard]

How do you decide which song to use in the closing credits? Is it a rotation between the songs or just whatever you feel like?

[@SilveryBlue1010]

S2, some people gonna make a spoiled monster if nothing change.

[@yellit1975]

Story 1. While I think that moving Maya regardless of how Tia felt was an AH move, I’m not sure that I’d say that OP is an AH. I think that he was reacting to his conditioning to be a white knight in this situation, I think that he needs therapy to deal with his trauma from his parents. Story 2. NTA, OP’s niece isn’t the centre of the universe. I think that brother and SIL need help otherwise their child is going to end up being a spoilt entitled brat who no one is going to want to spend anytime with.

[@TheJuaneato]

Story one both sisters are being horrible and using their brother. If the brother can move out and figure things out on his own why both his sister can't do the same thing.

[@scifriskyxy]

Story 2 The op doesn't NEED to make the nease the flower girl The sister in law WANTS the nease to be the flower girl It's not the sister in laws wedding she has no say in the matter, she wouldn't have been the asshole if she had just suggested the nease to be the flower girl but she became the asshole when instead just demanded and tried to force the OP I have a feeling if the sister-in-law doesn't get therapy now she's going to lose her daughter either by CPS or when the daughter reaches 18 and or just raise either a monster or a spoiled brat The op is NTA in the situation