I Don't Want Kids (Unplugged Ukulele)

The 2nd in my series of Unplugged Tom B Wild Esq. originals in the run up to the release of my Ukulele Songbook.
I'm very pleased to announce, that the Thomas Benjamin Wild Esq. Ukulele Songbook is now available to buy for £8 as a PDF download from my website! It features the lyrics, chords and chord diagrams for 18 original songs, including I've No More Fs to Give, I Don't Want Kids and many more!
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This song is featured on my 2018 album Awkward Encounters While Walking My Dog, which is available from:
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[@hectorberber6391]

"I don't want kids": weak argument, prone to questioning and nitpicking "This bloodline dies with me": strong and firm statement, no one will question you for it. Makes you sound like a viking

[@iamwhoyousayiam6773]

Except vikings were smart enough to know that not breeding means extinction and the bloodline continues with siblings

[@maaingan]

@@iamwhoyousayiam6773 that's why he's saying it dies with him, doofus. there's 8.5 billion people on a planet that can't feasibly support half that number, we don't need any more children yet. We need to learn to work with what we already have or we're going to build ourselves into a corner and kill everyone by having way too damn many people

[@seiboldtadelbertsmiter3735]

I told My mother the bloodline dies with me she didn't take it very well. I refuse to fuck up a kid like she fucked me up. I love her because she is my mom but I hate her for turning me into a neurotic mess who can't let anyone get close enough to have a relationship for fear they will hurt me.

[@WereBringingItBack]

@@seiboldtadelbertsmiter3735 This bloodline dies with *us*, brother. Sometimes a mother doesn't want a kid, they just want a living monument to themselves and their narcissism. I know the feeling well.

[@skankhunt-nx3kt]

@@maaingan 100% agree.

[@SuperSarandipity]

I'm 73, childless...with pets....and no regrets! I love this song!

[@Dermacrosis]

I agree. I got the snip at 16, it took a lot of arguing to get it, though not wanting kids got it turned down when I first tried. It was on my second go a month later and I mentioned genetic abnormalities in my family and it was approved.

[@LaydiNite]

I'm a 30 year old woman. The number of times I've had people suggest for the last 12 or so years that I'll change my mind about wanting to have kids makes this hit pretty close to home.

[@morgfarm1]

As a 29 year old guy that is still single - Yep. I now have the studio version of this song in my phone for whoever next suggests kids to me. Step or otherwise.

[@tK-be6ns]

I decided as a teen that I wouldn't birth any Kids, and if I REALLY wanted Kids I could adopt.....but as the years rolled by I found more and more reasons not to have kids. I love that I can send them back to their parents

[@thedjinn2873]

I'm 32 and same. Not sure why this is such a hard concept. Lol

[@itcouldbeanyone]

People find it so challenging when someone makes this choice, not all of us want children, I have exactly as many children as I said I was having from a very early age. A cat.

[@AlexWehpunkt]

A friend of mine got so pised on that topic she started to answer the "why don't you have kids?" Question with "I had numerous miscarriages". A bit drastic solution, but it worked wonders, she claims :D

[@tomcutts9200]

"I don't want kids, but if it will make you happy, for the purposes of this conversation I'm willing to pretend that I do, and that I don't suspect that you wish you hadn't."

[@docbill224]

A slight change in the lyrics, then we have the Grandparents version. "I don't want your kids"

[@joisagirlsname]

🤣🤣

[@teebobaggins]

Ha ha you're the man, Bill!

[@ericjill8024]

Lol

[@Katzztar]

"I've done my time, now it's your turn to crash and burn." I remember that saying: They say that grandparents and grandkids get along because they have common enemy: you.

[@thatsagoodquestion5889]

as a child, I totally get his point

[@bengriffiths2860]

We're all children...

[@glasslicker2829]

@@bengriffiths2860 ?

[@CptDionysos951]

Same here

[@krzysztofdabrowski9399]

As a former child I concur.

[@akatstrut]

We are all SOMEONE'S children haha

[@crShelidon]

“Your kids are fine ‘cause they’re not mine” is like Grammy-level lyrics, sir: you looked into my heart and put it to music.

[@miciarokiri5182]

As a mother who adores her kids, I love this! Having kids is a big responsibility, and one some people just don't want to take on, there are others they would rather. Just as I wouldn't want having my kids to be judged and harped on I don't want those who choose not to have kids to be treated like they are wrong. And I don't get why this is soooo hard for some people.

[@adamschank7703]

I have a few ideas: either they want the other person to suffer just like they did or the other person not having kids makes them question whether having kids was a good idea and they don't like that.

[@bueno07]

"Life without children sounds divine" ☺️☺️ 💯

[@AgentFulgoreBasedDepartment]

it is divine. literally the best.

[@Drifter.Dreams]

I'm officially adopting this as my childfree anthem moving forward. Thank you for what you do.

[@WardyLion]

Parents ask me constantly why I don’t want kids any my response is always: “Because you keep telling me what it’s like!”

[@alerobabes01]

People tell me how lucky I am being child free. It's the best decision I made.

[@s.p.3587]

@@alerobabes01 I can guarantee you that half of them are being facetious.

[@Luv2sing836]

There’s a kernel of truth in every joke

[@alerobabes01]

Zero regrets no PTA meetings.

[@katherinecolson2350]

😂😂😂

[@MagicLanternProds]

53 years old, 23 years married & happily childfree. No regrets at all! Well played (and sung) Mr. Wild

[@DarrenBoss1984]

I just play this song when I get asked 'why aren't you having kids?'.

[@Whirlbee]

Brilliant

[@margareteastman4188]

I've been known to ask people if they remember the comic strip "Calvin & Hobbes." When they say "yes," I say "It's because I'm afraid I'd have Calvin."

[@thehaveninthehand]

Sadly, it only works if the people asking speak English, or at least understand it

[@SomeGuy86780]

"Do I want kids?......Pass me that ukulele!"

[@xXniomeXx]

@@SomeGuy86780 *mic tap* "Hello! Is this thing on?"

[@ylime5544]

I do want kids but I hate people being offensive when others don’t. Do what you want.💛

[@JohnSmith-cc3ud]

Right on 👊

[@CallmeOzymandias]

Totally!

[@manictiger]

I want a kid, but I'm not sure I want a partner. Go figure. Look, this society is diseased and full of narcissistic sociopaths more interested in virtue-signaling through Instagram selfies, than actually fixing this world, or even just being decent to others... So, yeah, I'm not sure I want a partner. I've had a blast being single.

[@maaingan]

teach and train them well. the future is going to be an impossibly dangerous and constantly famished world when compared to our comfortable and excessive society.

[@didgit6495]

I want a few little shits to teach cool shit to. I hope shit happens.

[@evanulven8249]

My friends: "Why don't you want children?! Me: "Because I *remember what I was like!* "

[@kitdubhran2968]

Thank you for this! 42 years child free and going strong, and loving every moment of it.

[@AgentFulgoreBasedDepartment]

same, except i’m 36 🎉

[@Alexshik12]

I need to learn this song and translated it to Spanish so I can sing it to my Mexican relatives...

[@pwest2kuk]

Estoy cansado de las conversaciones con mis amigos y mi familia. Sobre lo que creo que nos depara el futuro a mi mejor chica y a mí Entiendo completamente exactamente a qué se dirigen Y desafortunadamente mi respuesta tiende a dejarlos algo planos Las insinuaciones poco sutiles se encuentran con incomodidad Entonces siento que debo confesar No quiero niños No puedo prever que este será uno de mis grandes arrepentimientos. Solo quiero mascotas No puedo prever que este será uno de mis grandes arrepentimientos. Tus hijos están bien Porque no son mios Para mi una vida sin hijos suena divina Intento poner excusas cuando la gente llega con su bebé No hay nada que temo más que alguien dándomela Pero rechazar ofertas para que se apoyen en tu rodilla Hace a uno un paria dentro de la sociedad educada La habitación mira a su alrededor con ojos de pura consternación. Y nadie lo creerá cuando digas No quiero niños (no quiero niños) Solo quiero mascotas (solo quiero mascotas) No puedo prever que este será uno de mis grandes arrepentimientos. Tus hijos están bien (tus hijos están bien) Porque no son míos (porque no son míos) Para mi una vida sin hijos suena divina Se que los niños pueden ser divertidos Y a la tuya le tengo mucho cariño, es verdad La ventaja es que cuando me canse de su ruido Puedo dirigirlos de vuelta a ti No quiero niños (no quiero niños) Solo quiero mascotas (solo quiero mascotas) No puedo prever que este será uno de mis grandes arrepentimientos. Tus hijos están bien (tus hijos están bien) Porque no son míos (porque no son míos) Para mi una vida sin hijos suena divina No quiero niños (no quiero niños) Solo quiero mascotas (solo quiero mascotas) No puedo prever que este será uno de mis grandes arrepentimientos. Tus hijos están bien (tus hijos están bien) Porque no son míos (porque no son míos) Para mi una vida sin hijos suena divina

[@huhhuh9598]

@@pwest2kuk I applaud you sir

[@pwest2kuk]

@@huhhuh9598 Google did the legwork. 😁

[@thisnuts69]

La neta que SI !

[@millywhitlock9002]

xD

[@rudra62]

As has been said before, "If you're thinking of having a child, get a puppy. If you don't do well with the puppy, give it away and don't dream of having kids. If you do well with the puppy, consider how you would like to have the somewhat destructive, messy, and disobedient moments over that 18 months extended for 18 years. At the end of that, you've got your decision on having a child.

[@WhiteScorpio2]

What's the human equivalent of having a cat?

[@Hair8Metal8Karen]

@@WhiteScorpio2 a stoned college student

[@MrRaven420]

My roommate got rid of his pets and has a chaotic child

[@matildastanford7019]

@Amanda Aquafina I think that you have not had kids and sincerely hope you don't. They do cry, tantrum and go off but if they do so every 3 hours there's definitely something wrong and it's not with the child.

[@SeanHarlow]

Not to mention that risk that your kid is either born with or develops some problem that turns 18 years in to a life sentence.

[@broodlord8795]

I don't want pets either .... But as a 59 year old female I can categorically say I have never, ever, not for one nanosecond regretted not having kids (quite the opposite ). Fantastic song !

[@Snibble]

Good for you sunshine.

That's fantastic. I would like to point out the irony of your name however XD

[@broodlord8795]

@ It was not lost on me, but it is a specific reference to Leader of the genestealers (see Games Workshop 'Space Hulk')

[@om617yota8]

Well put. I've known without question all along I didn't want kids. Whatever it is that makes people think the hassle is worth the trouble, I was born without that. I remember during "the talk" with my dad, he was stressing the importance of using condoms to prevent unwanted things. I said yes, like kids. He said not just kids, an STD that could kill you! My response was that's fine, I'd rather die than have a kid. 36 years old now and that's still true.

[@princessblazena]

It's so wonderful to live in a time with this kind of communication, so we can discover that we are not alone, and our opinions are valid 😊😁

[@schattentaenzerin]

That bit about getting a baby handed to you and everyone looking at you, like your some kind of psychopath for not wanting to hold it, is hitting really close to home. Thanks for this gem of a song!

[@DaMugix3]

Yeah well, having some snotty nosed brat smear his bodily fluids on me, probably with a dirty diaper, doesn't sound very appealing to me. And honestly, who tf thinks it's 'adorable'?

[@sandruki]

I hold them and then make jokes about how tasty they look and how nice they roast in the oven with salt and pepper... I even tell that to small kids sometimes who get scared when they are young but then they get the joke better than adults. My best friend's nephew started to ask me when will I cook him when he was 7 or so.

[@alietheartist734]

@@sandruki Oh come on, that's ridiculous! You can't have roast baby without adding some garlic, rosemary, and sage! Or at least a little parsley!

[@leonirourke7859]

I love how this song talks about how society automatically expects everyone to have children then this ukulele genius raises the flag for those who just don't 😎😎... In the most hilarious way possible! 🤣🤣 Keep up with the fabulous work! 😁✨✨

[@RandomNexus]

This. This is one of the songs of my people. As a woman who doesn't want to have children, I have long had to put up with all manner of intrusiveness from friends, family, and strangers. Thank you, sir, for putting it not only into clever words, but a jaunty tune, as well. 💜

[@mauiwonderland]

This!👏🏼

[@alerobabes01]

Not having kids was the best decision I made. No Parent teacher conferences.

[@csgaiao33]

This man wrote a whole song about this. He is my hero.

[@mortezanv8990]

"Your kids are fine cuz they're not mine" Thats so harsh😂

[@Asperger0815]

But true - and I say that as a father....

[@psychedashell]

Best kids in the worlds are ones you can choose not to tolerate.

[@Raycheetah]

Other people's children: The world's most effective birth control. =^[.]^=

[@mortezanv8990]

@@psychedashell that's a life saving quote

[@cameronjadewallace]

It's kinda how I feel about dogs....

[@chrissy4301]

Random person/family member: "You don't want kids? You'll change your mind." Me: "Oh, so you're paying the expenses and doing impromptu 'sitting' for that life decision for the next 20+ years on my current income? Thanks for volunteering as tribute!" Them: *Stank face* I can barely afford the dog that adopted me that my mother and sister wanted in the first place. 11+ years and counting. Love that handsome fluff nugget.

[@accountforwastingtime]

No one cares if you can AFFORD to or not. No one even cares that I physically can't, not to mention am not even in a relationship LOL then I get my favorite answers "just" adopt or "just" foster. They never have any idea how expensive it is to adopt or how hard it can be, and they act like fostering kids is like taking in kittens. My favorite though is that when I mention to these same people about wanting a dog, then I get people telling me I don't have time for a dog or "dogs are expensive" :D

[@manictiger]

I have the money and the will. My problem is the issue of who I'd have them with. With so much narcissism and backstabbery in this world, I literally don't trust anyone except myself. I have people put into tiers. The best rated people I know are in the "highly reasonable" tier. No one is in potential allies or confirmed allies tier. An ally is someone you'd take a bullet for and whom would take one for you. You could leave them with your literal stash of gold and they wouldn't run off with it. No one.

[@inevitableruin290]

@@manictiger I have those same trust issues

[@snowy-g9p]

fucking hate this, or when they go "oh a women will change you"

[@WifeWithoutKids]

This is GOLD! 😃 There's nothing wrong with choosing a childfree life if that's what you want.

[@eliser4536]

Then you deserve less of a say in society ;)

[@matildastanford7019]

@@eliser4536 only when it has to do with raising a child I do agree.

[@folkmarcmetal]

Tell that to my mom, and grandmother and everyone telling me how kids are great

[@ZainAhmed-ns2di]

@@eliser4536 why?

[@LandoBando-pj5ox]

@@eliser4536 why that makes no sense

[@idib4091]

This should blow up

[@noleafclover3681]

Definitely

[@squiddyt]

I couldn’t find the lyrics on another comment so I decided to put them 😉 I'm tired of conversations with my friends and family About what I think the future holds for my best girl and me I fully understand exactly what they're driving at And unfortunately my answer tends to leave them somewhat flat Unsubtle hints are met with awkwardness So I feel I am required to confess I don't want kids I just want pets I can't foresee that this will be one of my great regrets Your kids are fine 'Cause they're not mine To me, a life lived without children sounds divine I try to make excuses when folks arrive with their baby There's nothing I dread more than someone handing it to me But declining offers to have them rested on your knee Makes one a pariah within polite society The room looks 'round with eyes of pure dismay And no one will believe it when you say I don't want kids (I don't want kids) I just want pets (I just want pets) I can't foresee that this will be one of my great regrets Your kids are fine (your kids are fine) 'Cause they're not mine ('cause they're not mine) To me, a life lived without children sounds divine I know children can be fun And yours I'm very fond of, it is true The advantage is that when I grow weary of their noise I can direct them back to you I don't want kids (I don't want kids) I just want pets (I just want pets) I can't foresee that this will be one of my great regrets Your kids are fine (your kids are fine) 'Cause they're not mine ('cause they're not mine) To me, a life lived without children sounds divine I don't want kids (I don't want kids) I just want pets (I just want pets) I can't foresee that this will be one of my great regrets Your kids are fine (your kids are fine) 'Cause they're not mine ('cause they're not mine) To me, a life lived without children sounds divine I don't want kids (I don't want kids) I just want pets (I just want pets) I can't foresee that this will be one of my great regrets Your kids are fine (your kids are fine) 'Cause they're not mine ('cause they're not mine) To me, a life lived without children sounds divine

[@488Knight]

Can we get some upvotes on the OP. It would be nice to have the lyrics at the top.

[@fjeldfross9327]

🥰 As a women who knew since the age of 16 that I prefer having Cats and dogs instead of children and after a lot ankward conversations with all familymembers and knew-it-all people... I Love this Song!

[@ryudragon7]

This song speaks to me on a personal level.

[@Witherstorm1606]

69 likes nice

[@ToxicNeon]

This was an amusing song lol. I've gotten so sick of trying to makeup excuses for not wanting kids. Bottom line, i just don't want them. I don't need a deeper answer. But it does perpetually amuse me when people looked shocked or uncomfortable or confused by my answer, especially if i talk about how much i love kids. I absolutely love kids. I adore them. I would happily babysit, be the favorite aunt, etc. Kids are an utter delight to me. I just dont want them * *shrugs* *

[@lavendersprig2905]

Perfectly worded ! My favorite song ! I enjoy being without kids and taking care of my pets !!!!

[@alerobabes01]

I have house plants Christmas cactus and aloe plants.

[@petuniasevan]

He's playing my song. Over the years I got asked (everyone), nagged (Mom), heard suggestions (friends/coworkers with kids)..... Finally got old enough that folks just assumed my kids had moved out. Nope! No kids, at home, other places, anywhere!

[@rowdyreidgirl]

I knew from a very young age that I didn't want children, just cats. They're my furry children, and I'm very content. People think I'm the stereotypical cat lady, but I'm not. My house is uncluttered and smells like lemon and my heart is full. I have 4.

[@angela_tarantulas]

In the future I don‘t say anything, I just play that song. 37yo here, don’t want kids, just pets 😂👍🏼

[@meggancox3320]

Me too!!!

[@bueno07]

Same here I am 32 and Don't have kids, don't want them. I have my cat and I am happy ☺️

[@jaggerra7]

I'll do you one better. 37yo, no kids, roommate has a pet. All the benefits of a pet, with even fewer of the worries and responsibilities 🤣. When I settle down I'll get myself a maine coon, but right now I've still got places to see and things to experience.

[@bueno07]

@@jaggerra7 🤣🤣

[@Jo.La84]

Hey, me too! I'm 37 and just two days ago I was told it's still not late to have kids and that I will regret it later if I don't 😂😂😂😂😂 I got two cats, two dogs, no BF. What would I do with a kid right now if I got one?

[@houndsraddforb4284]

This man's humor on point

[@VeteranHedonist]

I'm 45 and I concur. I've stumbled on your channel by accident. The best accident I've had in a long time. I'm quite happy with my Dachshund and I feel very uncomfortable when my family expect me to handle their offspring, especially babies. You've really cheered me up, as my Dachshund has gone in this morning to be neutered. I've also listened to your cider song and empathise with you. I feel inadequate with my comment and my grammar, as your elocution is brilliant.

[@thedarcbird]

I have one child who is now 19. I'm glad I only had one. I have great respect for anyone who doesn't want children. This planet has more than enough people as it is....

[@zaranea7920]

I declare from here on out that my answer to "why don't you wanna have kids" will now and forwver be a link to this video and NOT A WORD MORE!

[@TheMagnoliaWitch]

This is a most excellent song. I personally did want kids, so I had a couple, and having done so I very much FULLY SUPPORT anyone who does NOT want kids and chooses not to have any.

[@attesmatte]

One of the first things I said to my partner when we met online was "I don't want kids, just so you know." His reply was "Awesome, neither do I!" 😁 That was almost ten years ago now, and we're very happy and child free. 😜 This is definitely our anthem! 😂

[@adarateranroldan]

❤️

[@MarkRosengarten]

Never wanted kids, never wanted a relationship, I am in my mid-50's with three cats and I could not be happier.

[@sangoswoman]

My three dogs are the best kids ever

[@amysanchez3699]

That I even have to dignify the question "why don't you want kids?" with an answer is too much for me. It's really galling for anyone to try to get so deeply into my life, much less to advise on such a decision which doesn't affect their lives at all. I've answered so many ways, like "I have a disease", "I'm infertile", and so on to try to shame them, but then they say to adopt and then I have to just scream "I don't want them!!!!"

[@pnpark]

Amy check out the original song “Childfree” written for women by a woman an anthem for women who happily live a life without children by choice it features 55 happy women on the cover kzbin.info/www/bejne/eKumdYBjgZhlj5o

[@amysanchez3699]

@@pnpark thank you!! Really a lovely song ❤❤

[@clairecarlia-jones5979]

This should be the anthem for my life!😆😆😆

[@StefanAxelsson]

Me and my gf have been singing along to this one in the car more than once. Hits the spot in so many places. :)

[@thomaslecomte1570]

Very happy with my kid (and maybe another one in the future), but I hate people that say it’s the only way to be happy. This song is spot on and you’re a charm!

[@ryltair]

Best anticonception is the stories told by co-workers with kids every single day.

[@clairejenkinson8117]

Preach my dude preach

[@florabeltaine4620]

This is perfect. I'm considering blasting this everytime I get asked that dreaded question. You're fast becoming my new favorite artist!

[@andrewweitzman4006]

I just love how he sings this with a big smile that tells everyone that he is pissing on you from a height akin to low earth orbit.

[@jesse79988]

Today is father's day and love listening to this song on this day. Still no kids, still don't want kids, still love this song!!

[@alerobabes01]

I'm going to play this song on mother's day. Especially when people say happy mother's day.😂 I tell them I don't have kids

[@atrixEbitch]

When people ask me why I don’t want kids I’ve started bringing up that there are over 117K orphans stuck in the foster system as we speak. Why aren’t you adopting?

[@SWATDRUMMUH]

All jokes aside, I recently watched a ted-ed video discussing the topic of not having kids. No matter what we choose, we all suffer consequences. Be it the extraordinary amount of money for college funds, or the long list of vet bills; all choices have their issues and regrets. It's a paradox that we define each other by what we could have done rather than what we have done.

[@acmcbride-olson9320]

Good point!

[@Johnnysgaming1010]

I love this song!!! I don't want kids, I just want pet. So happy!!!!!!

[@SuperMrHiggins]

I love kids, long as I don't have to raise them - your kids will do just fine!

[@racheljohnstone9574]

Some of my family are very traditional and do t like that I'm 24 and not attached let alone have children, my favourite line is, "I've meet this family, I'd rather not raise one us just yet." It's a quick diversion into stories of dumb injuries or stubbornness. While I've heard most of them before, it's still an easier conversation.

[@dragontaletarot]

I have three beautiful bunny kids 🐰🐰🐰🤣💖 this is the anthem of my life!! Happy every day that I chose Pet’s and never had kids 😁🙌

[@ShadowPoet174]

My husband and I are perfectly happy having critters and being cool uncle and auntie to our nieces, nephews, and friends' kids. We love kids, but don't want any of our own.

[@bensy1704]

this is my anthem

[@sjmclean0]

You sir have won the internet.

[@thecovidprisoner]

As a bachelor totally agree with this sentiment, another brilliant comment on society by this chap. 😀👍✌

[@jacquelinecarty8579]

I'm glad to be a grandmother, but I love the song!

[@micheleheddane3804]

I have 5 grown up children that I love BUT I don’t like kids , you see my kids are mine and so absolutely wonderful

[@NoiseDay]

I'm so glad that my mom seems to understand that my three cats are the closest she's getting to grandchildren.

[@DepoverS]

I don't want kids. But I do want to be the best godfather I can be to my new born niece.

[@jeremyredd4232]

I adore your brand of comedic music. You have expressed my feelings about children very lyrically. Well done!

[@juliawitts7270]

Love it. Got to 70 and no regrets!

[@1beatcher]

But who's going to take care of you when you're ol.......? Just kidding btw.

[@daisytwotoes]

I'm 61. Never had kids. No regrets.

[@roxanneweichinger9318]

Robyn Richards, I’m 58, and don’t have any kids either.

[@daisytwotoes]

@@roxanneweichinger9318 Any regrets?

[@roxanneweichinger9318]

@@daisytwotoes, I have no regrets because I knew for my own personal reasons that I definitely would’ve made a terrible mother! I believe every person who is born deserves to have a decent life. If that cannot be provided to them then it’s just not fair that they should have to suffer throughout their lives because they’re neglected or abused by their folks. This is just my humble opinion.

[@daisytwotoes]

@@roxanneweichinger9318 I'm with you 100%. I realized when I was 14 years old that I didn't want kids. It was a realization, not a decision.

[@roxanneweichinger9318]

@@daisytwotoesIt sounds like you were pretty mature at 14 yrs old to be able to come to the realization that you didn’t want to be a mom.I was asked a few times when I was younger why I didn’t have children, the person asking me looked at me like something was wrong with me because I didn’t have any. Now that there’s probably close to 8 billion people on the planet it’s not such an issue any more for a woman to decide not to have children.

[@RamenNoodle1985]

Omg this song is me exactly!

[@suprstraight2421]

Simpsons cat lady in making 🤣

[@weecoo4563]

@@suprstraight2421 Oh look, someone with children being hurtful to someone without them. It's almost like it's the ENTIRE POINT OF THIS SONG! Well done for being a stereotype, mate.

[@suprstraight2421]

@@weecoo4563 hurtful? Why everyone nowdays have to Play a victim? Cat Ladies and melting snowfIakes everywhere🤦🏼‍♀️

[@weecoo4563]

@@suprstraight2421 if you don't like being called out for being an a$$hole, then try not being one. Just saying.

[@suprstraight2421]

@@weecoo4563 yea people who speak truth in your face are assholes. Sorry Karen but world needs people like me. Needs more truth in your face. Go to your safe space or pet a cat I'm busy playing minecraft with my son. Take care

[@TBirdHEX]

I'm 36. Never had kids. Adopted a dog 9 years ago. Winning Winning Winning.

[@notamommalifepodcasthostra2581]

Will be sharing this with my childfree community 💯💯💯💯💯

[@lynseyfree]

This is fabulous and oh-so-catchy! Thanks for being a [very talented] voice for us childfree folks!

[@jeepmanxj]

This sings to my soul more than anything.

[@angelbechtol7873]

As someone who has been questioned for years abt kids its nice to see a joking song talking abt how insistent some people are about children

[@angelbechtol7873]

Also the awkward moment when you meet someone new and they try to talk abt future plans like having children so you just kinda nod along without saying anything bc saying you dont want them can sour their view of you right off the bat but you know youll have to correct them eventually

[@ChrisN-km4ng]

I keep thinking Ive found the best song of this guy and then I find another thats just awesome

[@sonderer7424]

I don't want kids, but I do want your hat.

[@LandoBando-pj5ox]

That hat nice

[@SchazmenRassir]

This might be one of the most relatable songs for millennials and Gen Z'ers.

[@paulgallagher5889]

For Millennials and Gen Zers!!! Why even have kids when pets exist?!?!

[@CarolynOsborne]

It's also great for this non-regretting, childless boomer.

[@erynwald2164]

Gen X too!

[@Reman1975]

TBH, There's quite a few of my friends who have "Gen Z" kids, and most of them surprise me by managing to get dressed and find the way to work/school without help......... often on their first try ! :)

[@skankhunt-nx3kt]

@@erynwald2164 agreed.gen x rules.

[@boogaria554]

Your facial expressions & humor reminds me a bit of Robin Williams. Great work. I do want to hear more of your rmusic and funny lyrics!

[@CasualGamerGameplay]

I've got a friend to who this song will hit right home

[@acingtravel]

the 'your kids are fine because they aren't mine' line hits hard when you work with children on a daily for your job but don't want any of your own cuz at the end of the day the parents just pick up their kids and you go home to a quiet house lmao

[@badasszombiekillingmachine7000]

"Throws money after you" More please! ❤

[@paragonplays6919]

Oh this is a HUGE mood. Love kids, but I don't want any. Happy with my kitties.

[@kenny995]

"You're kids are fine, cuz they're not mine!" Yes 👏🏼

[@burntmarvmallow141]

Now this is my jam

[@kristiansullivan7048]

Didn't even need to listen to it just know I was going to love it

[@SkunkdMonk]

This is the anthem to my life.

[@thecookiemangaming5646]

Can we stop for a moment and say his vocals are absolutely spot on 😎

[@theraggedydoctorofgalifrey9526]

Love this guy's singing voice and how well he plays.

[@dramdarmody7239]

This song is so perfect 😁

[@MrPecksniff]

I agree. Goats can be a handful 🐐

[@philbarrett6762]

Love this song however I can’t get the barber shop quartet singing the chorus echo out of my head... 😂

[@sinlobo84]

Now I need that cover

[@hailmammonmoments7568]

Clever and charming as always. And... People don’t have a problem with others not having kids. They have a problem asking if they themselves really want them.

[@mnirwin5112]

This is definitely the anthem of my life! Thank you!

[@benjamintaylor3934]

I became a dad much later than most, and it's fantastic; however, this is how I felt for the whole of my twenties! 😄 Many of my friends still hold the same sentiments, and they are thoroughly enjoying their lives with new cars and multiple overseas holidays per year, but they absolutely love having a few hours with my little human every so often ❤

[@amymcgraw4310]

Freaking great tunes. Love your jingles on my .opening drive. You rock man. Thanks again for your jams.

[@sandothemando8924]

Us childfree comrades now have an official anthem/theme song just for ourselves... :)

[@williamlancaster5136]

Greetings comrade😂

[@katajanosi2108]

Thats my new jam 🎵

[@BrieyaSilverweb]

This needs to go mainstream, on radio, more push, everything. We don't have to have kids! We don't have to want them! Visiting kids are fine, they leave after a couple hours. Not everyone has to have their own kids. No, after 50 years, no regrets and loved well by my dogs and birds.

[@HCP5]

This is now my Anthem. Huzzah to you, Sir.