I explain all 5 Twilight movies while caught in a love triangle with mythical beasts

[@Drjordanbreeding]

If you liked this hard-to-make video, consider checking out our PATREON: www.patreon.com/drjordanbreeding or channel memberships! kzbin.info/door/UfeQmlNZVQdzjiFBSwjOrQjoin . They’re identical in all the ways that matter *winks slowly and knowingly and vampire-like*.

[@mrdillerfar]

Please, or his kids are going to starve.

[@KeithElliott-zd8cx]

"she thought she died and like, came to take her gamecube" Pretty much literally happened to me. Lived with my mom, she died, landlord and his kids drop in, i'm like 'no, someone's still here', and the kids had already taken my gamecube.

[@Drjordanbreeding]

@@KeithElliott-zd8cx That's wild haha

[@KeithElliott-zd8cx]

@@Drjordanbreeding yeah, just sort of funny that, not only did they come in looking for shit after a death, but it was actually a gamecube.

[@Bethsabee_Sheba_Newrose]

@@KeithElliott-zd8cx That’s so friggin’ illegal 😳

[@SomeGuyNamedJason]

It's absolutely criminal how little exposure this channel is getting.

[@Drjordanbreeding]

I feel like the videos actually do pretty well considering the channel size! They just get there over time rather than all at once.

[@zakbrown9256]

You single handedly became the face of Cracked while being just as funny as the original people, you kick ass Breeding! Plus you're dedication to this awesome format actually feels fresh which is so rare these days on YT. Not only that you engage with your audience and always did even on Cracked, we've had many back and forths over the time you've been doimg this, it's awesome, we all just think you deserve a bigger audience for your efforts! If you get the chance to sell out, do it and tell em Zak sent you! 🤣

[@Drjordanbreeding]

@@zakbrown9256 This is all extremely kind. If I sell out, I'll be sure to mention you haha

[@VGobaira]

I know, right? ❤

[@elcapitan008]

8:31 Jokes on you. Everyone knows that the Snyder Cut of Twilight is actually Fifty Shades of Grey.

[@Drjordanbreeding]

Oh crap you're so right

[@kazza6078]

The john cena edit is NOT played out, the callbacks to familiar jokes always kill me.

[@alexx5064]

*PATHETIC!!*

[@hubsternova]

how to flirt with a twilight vampire: "sniff me like a countertop in a 70s disco bathroom"

[@Drjordanbreeding]

Works every time!

[@tatsukinomiya]

From the jokes, the sound bites, the music references, the Dave convos, the callbacks, & overall production this video is a 10/10 & surely up there with Beernado for me. Keep doing your thing bro

[@Drjordanbreeding]

Amazing! So glad you think so!

[@aint2proud2meg]

I’ve been coating on the body glitter for HOURS. Let’s goooo ✨

[@Drjordanbreeding]

Oh man you're so ready!

[@sebastianacevedo9444]

Love Dave's mask with the glasses

[@Drjordanbreeding]

Haha that was his idea, actually

[@yourGalDee]

Hey Jordan, this is a weird thing to put in a comment. I'm two days recovering from a nearly fatal mental health event, and seeing this popup has put a hard shot of cheer into my life. Thanks for putting these out there. You're the fucking man.

[@Drjordanbreeding]

Oh man I’m sorry to hear that, but I’m glad this video could help in some small way!

[@yourGalDee]

@@Drjordanbreeding hey Jodan, what's your hot take on the longest film series of all time: Protestantism. Are good works enough?? Or is Calvin (the cartoon character) right again?

[@Drjordanbreeding]

@@yourGalDee There are definitely some good moments

[@RecRoomPlays]

"are they always like this?" "It's getting worse with old age" with the name tags made me cackle out loud, and it's only five minutes into the video. This is gonna be a good ride.

[@Drjordanbreeding]

Hah yeah I love that little bit

[@yourfriendlyinternetmeatshield]

​@@Drjordanbreedingthe best part is going to be how well this comment age. You KNOW you're children in the future will not listen to past you

[@melkorthefallen7580]

I'm disappointed that you didn't make the connection between this series and the film "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. Jasper was turned into a vampire during the civil war and Lincoln was killing vampires aiding the confederate army. Same universe

[@Drjordanbreeding]

Ha I thought about it (I’ve read that book, actually) but I just didn’t have anything to say haha

[@melkorthefallen7580]

@@Drjordanbreeding fair enough love the vids

[@gabedavis4458]

This man saved Cracked singlehandedly. He deserves millions of views per video.

[@Drjordanbreeding]

Ha well thank you. I feel good about the track we are on!

[@maxmfpayne]

I just wanna say, since i found your channel like a week ago I've basically been watching your videos non-stop. It's so great to have quality, entertaining long form content to listen to/watch while I'm at work or playing games. Hell they even play in my sleep because I can't stand silence. Practically nobody can produce content this good on this scale consistently, and man do I appreciate all the work it must take to put these things out so fast. So to you, Dave and anyone else working on these bad boys, I say bravo. Keep up the good work guys! And thanks for the laughs

[@Drjordanbreeding]

I appreciate the kind words and support, means a lot! So happy you found the channel too!

[@biancaportillo6552]

funny enough i saw the first twilight in a theatre yesterday and seeing that masterpiece in the big screen as an adult is crazy

[@Drjordanbreeding]

People really have fun with those haha

[@bobbythepirate1430]

Yooo that zoom in on Kristen Stewarts preggo mirror face where she looka likea Gollum will haunt my dreams forever omg

[@Drjordanbreeding]

Sorrrryyyyy

[@bobbythepirate1430]

@@Drjordanbreeding hahahaha s'aight homie

[@mzmendy]

Swaim convinced you didn't he?

[@TheCheat420]

26:50 I genuinely cheered lol. I love that that's a thing now so much.

[@Drjordanbreeding]

Haha me too

[@pattierotondo1108]

These videos just make me so happy. They always fall on days when I really need the laughs, so thanks for that. Also, that's a lovely picture of your family. They look like a fun group. Keep up the great work and tell Dave to get out of the salad dressing.

[@Drjordanbreeding]

That’s so great to hear! I’m glad you dig them

[@PaulaElaineMiles]

That Don Broco mention is top tier. ✨chef's kiss✨

[@Drjordanbreeding]

yesssss

[@PaulaElaineMiles]

@@Drjordanbreeding just got to the Attack Attack! joke. Another top tier mention, sir

[@Ryans_world215]

Another Dr.Breeding video, I’m fresh off of work too I’m about to be glued…! Thanks for the great content

[@Drjordanbreeding]

Hope you enjoy it!

[@bored588]

weirdest thing in the world is Charlie, bellas dad, looks exactly like my father, was awkwards dragging him to see the movie for that reason xD

[@Drjordanbreeding]

Be he loved that haha

[@watertowercat]

Love the callbacks to prior Twilight talks, and the ever-expanding B(reeding) O(nline) U(niverse). When does Dave get his spinoff streaming show?

[@Drjordanbreeding]

Haha who knoooooows

[@zachofragnarok3067]

Thank you for suffering for our entertainment as always Dr. Breeding! Your framing device was still a better love story than Twilight.

[@Drjordanbreeding]

Haha hell yeah thank you

[@Lei-AICPhD]

I don’t even care, the sparkling in the sun is everything. I said what I said. But as a girl who loves glitter, diamond like, and the like things… I’m not upset.

[@GhOstD4ddy]

I love how after Indiana jones you do these sitting down

[@Drjordanbreeding]

Just wait for Mad Max haha

[@hellishrain1835]

I want updates on your nephews growth. 5’11 sister marrying a 6’7 Brazilian sounds like the perfect recipe for a gargantuan child

[@Drjordanbreeding]

Will keep you updated

[@DrGuthals]

Who needs the new Bridgerton season when THIS JUST DROPPED TODAY

[@Drjordanbreeding]

RIGHT!?!

[@elevensonacevedo1588]

Wasn't expected him to know about Bilmuri

[@Drjordanbreeding]

Hey, I was a musician long before I was an internet weirdo haha

[@Aureilia]

Ayyy I just finished work, this is the perfect thing to wind down with 🥳

[@Drjordanbreeding]

I hope you dig it!

[@yourfriendlyinternetmeatshield]

​@@Drjordanbreedingdud I love how many peoples days are legit improved by your longform videos. Whether they watch at work ("F*** the corporate world!"- Wu Tang Clan) After work, to wind down, as background as the do homework or whatever. It's really awesome. You are the totally not chill, rando lowfi beats drunk on natty light for the rest of us lol.

[@thisismyhome]

Fuuuuuuuuck that intro is FANTASTIC!!!!

[@Drjordanbreeding]

Hey thanks! I’ve really liked the more standardized intros

[@susangurnoe9611]

I've been going through a lot. Losing my home while trying to sound like I got it. I don't but thanks for being fun and funny

[@Drjordanbreeding]

Shoot I’m so sorry to hear that. I hope these videos can at least offer some distraction while you collect yourself.

[@Darkwun_DQ4]

Ive had a word with the community and weve come to the decision we'll allow you to do the Madea thing. Trust me, you have my word 🤞🏿

[@JanterCyrano]

"...to keep us to ever finding Joy..."

[@Drjordanbreeding]

It worked

[@JCash119]

Watching this early so Dave can Imprint all of us #breeders

[@Drjordanbreeding]

OH NO

[@TrumpetKid4]

"You guys think I'm just some KZbin nerd..." I knew Breeding wasn't just a family name.

[@Drjordanbreeding]

I EARNED my family name

[@jeremypage3370]

Another masterpiece Doctor!

[@Drjordanbreeding]

Thank you!

[@louisvictor3473]

Oh man, this is so fresh! I never came for a video faster! No, wait, that came out wrong... GODDAMN IT I did it again immediately!

[@Drjordanbreeding]

No you meant exactly what you said and I approve

[@louisvictor3473]

@@Drjordanbreeding Oh baby yeah, my ploy worked! I can finally say, I am techncially Breeding approved! Gonna make so many babies now!

[@elionswhitestripes]

Heeeeey wait a minute....this isn't every Starship Troopers movies! =O

[@Drjordanbreeding]

Sorrrrry

[@yourfriendlyinternetmeatshield]

​@@Drjordanbreedingapparently they made 4 "wild things" movies (sorry)

[@tree1568]

Awww feel better now I know my gran is just gifting me a bachelor pad

[@Drjordanbreeding]

Oh that's sad haha

[@The_finestsocialworker]

What a treat!!

[@Drjordanbreeding]

Hope you like it!

[@trailblazerlazerrazerd9027]

I'm still just starting off this video and I really hope that Madea think never happens. That would be too funny but also definitely edging towards or stepping over a certain line somewhere. Not Robert Downey Jr and Tropic Thunder levels of stepping over the line, but pretty close. Which he barely got away with that if not protected by his Iron Man cred. Lmao And I'm saying that because one of the worst parts of me equally ironically wants to see that 😅🤣🤣🤣

[@Drjordanbreeding]

I mean, it's definitely a joke haha

[@edmaned21]

What was the 3rd obscure band you played with the guy pushing a lawnmower and a dog?

[@aint2proud2meg]

I was curious too. Someone else in the comments mentioned a band called “Bilmuri” (sp?) and that’s not one of the names he said I think. So probably that?

[@Drjordanbreeding]

Yeah it's Bilmuri (Better Hell Than You is the song, I think)

[@edmaned21]

@@Drjordanbreeding thanks doc!

[@edmaned21]

@@aint2proud2meg it was, pretty good song.

[@lorehammer40k4]

Okay, listen, we make a lotta funny haha jokey-jokes in these comments, but I have to be real for a second here. Jordan, my good man, 16:30 "World War Onesies" might just be the best joke I've heard in the past few weeks, and all done with just three words. Well done sir, well done.

[@Drjordanbreeding]

YES. I loved that joke haha. So small, but felt so silly

[@augustjsb]

Do the Medea movies!! Maybe not in a black suit, but still!!

[@Drjordanbreeding]

Ha yeah I dunnooooo

[@JakupandTheThetaState]

After you mention Don Bronco and Sleep Token, what’s the name of the song for the video of the guy in his lawn?

[@Drjordanbreeding]

Bilmuri!

[@JakupandTheThetaState]

@@Drjordanbreeding I like the name… sounds familiar

[@LarryTownsend]

I knew twilight was the first and breaking dawn was the last, but I didn't know what order the other movies were in.

[@Drjordanbreeding]

And now you do!

[@MelodicQuest]

🎶How did we get here When I used to know you so well?🎶

[@ironreed2654]

1:11:00 I mean idk, Dave seems pretty knowledgeable...did you even try?

[@Drjordanbreeding]

I’m Soaked

[@Darkwun_DQ4]

Ok im only 7 minutes in and I'm making a prediction... Bella "I know what you are... You're *JOHN CENA!!!!!!*"

[@Darkwun_DQ4]

Noooooo I was wrong! This literally has never happened ever!

[@Drjordanbreeding]

Sorrrrrrrry

[@kazza6078]

Look, my guilty pleasure is shitting on twilight and watching YT videos of funny people shitting on twilight. I'm barely a few minutes in and you've pointed out something I've never noticed about the movie before (why the fuck does he park between two driveways??). So already you have brought something new to the 300 thousandth video making fun of twilight ❤

[@Drjordanbreeding]

Yessssssss

[@JohnRapheal7]

Im just gonna say this once Bon Ivor is the shit!

[@Drjordanbreeding]

They’re fine haha

[@benjaminredfern3810]

1:11:20 I’m in Australia and have never heard of the Kansas City Chiefs and then not only are they mentioned here and how there’s some obvious controversy around the team’s name, but the kicker Harrison Butker is currently getting destroyed publicly for attempting to claim the title of king misogynist during the commencement speech he just gave at his university. Just wanted to mention that, thought it was a crazy coincidence of controversy.

[@Drjordanbreeding]

That is actually quite weird haha

[@knightwing1224]

okay... I just watched Lars and The Real Girl. I don't like that you put that in the video. Making me think this is all a simulation!! xD

[@Drjordanbreeding]

I’M ALWAYS WATCHING

[@knightwing1224]

@@Drjordanbreeding *shivers in fear*

[@shawnlynch9826]

i cant stop laughing at the how to make a brillion dollars in youtube money while dave is called a fluffer

[@Drjordanbreeding]

Haha I think it's going to work

[@rileyxsko]

I need that Madea video asap. It's gonna get you canceled but as a Black man and a fan I just ...I gotta see it. TO THE PATREON!

[@Drjordanbreeding]

Uhhhhhh haha

[@Halflife2-y2m]

I am Team Edward

[@Drjordanbreeding]

Somebody needs to be haha

[@Dirty0o0Jester]

We can all agree the only attractive thing about twilight is the jokes we can infinitely make about, yeah? And we can also all agree that making tired, constant, stale jokes is the next best thing to aphrodisiac? Cool I'm glad we can do that. :)

[@mobiusfrost]

Bella had some insane unspeakable rizz.

[@Drjordanbreeding]

Apparently!

[@jacobsatenberg8678]

Please do the Tyler Perry movies... that would be awesome..,.or the last one lol

[@Drjordanbreeding]

I'm scared haha

[@jacobsatenberg8678]

Yeah you would have to apologize to Jessie Jackson

[@JoeyD_3636_]

Yo yo yo more family friendly informative content thanks Dr. Breeding

[@Drjordanbreeding]

But of course!

[@Richard_Nickerson]

"Making mud pies" is playing with mud and pretending to eat it...

[@Drjordanbreeding]

I don’t think so

[@Richard_Nickerson]

​@@Drjordanbreeding I know so though, so... I'm not the only person I'm asking about this who agrees, and not everyone I'm asking grew up where I did.

[@Richard_Nickerson]

​​@@Drjordanbreeding Sometimes you fill some sort of container with mud, sometimes you just slap it in your hands. It's a messy version of playing bakery.

[@Richard_Nickerson]

​@@Drjordanbreeding I just googled "mud pies" and this was the first result: "Mud pies are a children's game where they mix soil and water to make a ball and pretend to bake a pie. The quality of the stick together indicates the ingredients in the soil. Mud pies are not meant to be eaten, but they can be thrown in the face." Then there were a bunch of recipes for real desserts called mud pies. They seem to be based around chocolate pudding. Didn't even see your version on the first page of results. I know it's a euphemism for that, but it's clearly not that use here 🤷‍♂️

[@Drjordanbreeding]

@@Richard_NickersonGoogle is wrong

[@facelessdirewlf]

Make the madea video please for the love of dave

[@Drjordanbreeding]

I don’t think I’m allowed

[@sparkzyfulton5774]

Yeah after all of them were over I thought "why didn't they just lie to the first 3 vamps in the first place and say she's already protected with permission from the valtori?" Like seriously that alone would have gotten him the girl but prevented the fight in the first one which in turn would have prevented issues in most others since it's mostly about his girlfriend coming for revenge 😅. Yeah if they went and said something to the v that would have still been a issue probably but that issue tho hyped up was actually the least of an issue every time 😅. Plus wtf Alice... you can see the future and stuff like that but never when it's most useful or something? And also why does jasper power work on Bella but not his and Alice's works kinda too? Really strange rules for how the powers work. Doesn't explain if it has limits or is like funny at certain times or whatever else. Only she naturally even before being a vampire is "protected" and has like a bubble shield but why would the bubble shield let some stuff at her but not his at all? And even if the valtori did get involved if they were still so much more determined to get Alice in there group then Alice if cares enough about Bellas safety should just go. Why is it such a problem to go live in Italy as crazy rich and powerful people plus she could just leave again on her own eventually if truly wanted... her "dad" did it and left he seems fine😅

[@tdylan]

Haven't watched the video. Commenting for engagement. Gonna let it run in while i do chores so google thinks that I watched the ads, then come back and re-watch it "Ad free." I'm clever.

[@Drjordanbreeding]

GENIUS

[@TitularHeroine]

​@@DrjordanbreedingBRILLIANT

[@GnarlyRaePepsi]

MARVELOUSLY ENDOWED!

[@quasarsurfer]

Aww that's so nice.

[@Bethsabee_Sheba_Newrose]

I had no idea such a clever trick exists! So you just let it end all the way, then press replay? Or manually move the little cursor thingy back to the beginning?

[@Ganymedia9]

My favorite part of Twilight is Bella going "omg, Jacob, you're basically a baby and way too young for me" with their two year age gap. Ma'am, your boyfriend died during WWI.

[@Drjordanbreeding]

Right!?

[@Drjordanbreeding]

YES I KNOW THIS IS THE WRONG THUMBNAIL BUT IT'S CLEANER AND CLEARER I'M SORRY.

[@ronat16]

This kind of wildcard behaviour is exactly why Dave's parents thought you were feral, I stg 😂

[@JCash119]

And you called this a democracy?!

[@modnarer]

Not yet, but you will be.....

[@Drjordanbreeding]

@@ronat16 Holy crap you're probably right haha

[@Drjordanbreeding]

@@JCash119 I NEVER SAID THAT

[@TheCheat420]

"I mean... Its fuckin weird." Probably the best way to describe the style you've honed and I love it so much

[@Drjordanbreeding]

Thanks haha

[@iness1802]

babe wake up new comfort video just dropped 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

[@Drjordanbreeding]

BABE HURRY

[@TheCheat420]

This may be a little deep for a KZbin comment but I lost my best friend almost 2 weeks ago now. The guy I started this channel with, my GoldenEye friend, my Dave. I've been understandably off since but sitting down and watching this video after work last night was the first time I was genuinely cracking up laughing again consistently since he passed. Watching your stuff reminds me of hanging out and riffing with my now gone best friend and THAT is why I love your stuff so much sir. Please keep up the amazing work.

[@Drjordanbreeding]

Shoot, I'm so sorry to hear that. That really, really sucks. I'm glad this got to be a bit of a distraction at least.

[@VGobaira]

❤❤

[@Galvamel]

What I was hoping throughout the whole series was that when Jacob's grandfather turned into a wolf his wheelchair would turn into a doggie wheel chair. All the Oscars for Twilight if it had done that.

[@aint2proud2meg]

I love this so much

[@Bethsabee_Sheba_Newrose]

I don’t think I can live in this world anymore, considering that didn’t happen.

[@marcusmiller5443]

Can't wait for the Medea content!😂❤

[@Drjordanbreeding]

Haha uhhhhhh

[@JohnRapheal7]

​@@Drjordanbreeding get the same one martin Lawrence used in big mama to

[@lbrowne2x]

No he’s gotta do the big mommas house movies first 😂.

[@TheSaxDragon]

Early Breeders, let's go! "Dave, put your pants back on! And what's up with the salad dressing?" XD

[@Drjordanbreeding]

Haha YES

[@TheSaxDragon]

@@Drjordanbreeding Here's hoping Casper makes an appearance in the review and the prophecy is fulfilled! P.S. Great job on the intro and theme song. Short and sweet motifs getting right to the point but identifiable enough. Really digging it.

[@Drjordanbreeding]

@@TheSaxDragon Haha thanks!

[@librarianseth5572]

If you did a follow-up video where you discussed the several legal ways the vampires and werewolves would get screwed over in the modern day. Trail cameras, social security numbers, it's a gold mine.

[@Drjordanbreeding]

Haha maybe somedayyyyy

[@donaldcolbert8317]

As well as age of consent laws

[@yourfriendlyinternetmeatshield]

Trail cameras: super human senses, smell hearing etc. Electronic device emit a high pitch while or some kind of noise outside of most human hearing range. Social security numbers: often they have dominate, or the ability to just hypnotise and command people into whatever and leave them with no memory of it. Or there's the Skyrim solution of unaliving someone and now your them. Yeah lots of issues to be sure but easier than you think

[@Bethsabee_Sheba_Newrose]

Daddy Doctor Cullen’s income taxes…

[@andiward7068]

At least they never have medical bills!

[@abbynormal5849]

Bet you show more emotion than Kristen Stewart did in the whole series

[@Drjordanbreeding]

Man, I hope so

[@Sarahc-mn1tr]

😂

[@boomboomskidskid]

Trilogy?

[@abbynormal5849]

@@boomboomskidskid, my bad. Corrected now. Thanks!

[@paultapping9510]

I liked it when vampires were confused by a handful of corn. I'm oldskool like that

[@Drjordanbreeding]

That's MY vampires!

[@The_Broddha]

One kernel, ah ah ah, two kernels, ah ah ah... sixty-nine thousand, four hundred and twenty kernels ah ah ah

[@aint2proud2meg]

They get….cornfused? I suppose there’s a kernel of truth to that.

[@decium1846]

​@thebroddha9153 the count lives ah ah ah.

[@paultapping9510]

@aint2proud2meg lol! Yes, they have to stop to count the corn, or pins or whatever other small, numerous, objects you drop in front of them. Giving you time to escape

[@GibertPlays]

"Edward might as well eat every estate lawyer in the world, buy a wig, and pretend that he found a bag of money" Gold.

[@patricequeen1156]

I had too much self respect to have watched any of these movies, but look at me now. No pride, just love for Jordan and Dave.

[@Drjordanbreeding]

Nobody here has any respect for ANYTHING

[@Bethsabee_Sheba_Newrose]

I found my people!

[@kapmando]

Had a surreal experience. A 5-second commercial popped up at exactly the moment you’d normally do a cutaway gag and it took the whole commercial to realize it wasn’t intentional. For the record, it was a possibly sparkly vampire in the sun moment cutting to the commercial that goes “light it up!” and then a sax solo. It’s a weird way to say I enjoy your cutaway jokes but cannot predict them.

[@Drjordanbreeding]

I do actually intentionally place ads in spots like that haha

[@kapmando]

@@Drjordanbreeding also, was that an Edward Penishands reference?

[@TaurusWitch29]

That's too good 😂 light it up! ✨Sparkly jazz hands✨

[@michaelgoldberger596]

Long: ✓ Brutal: ✓ Good actors, acting badly: ✓ Somewhat competent filmmaking: ✓ Ahhhh yes the proper sweet spot for DR. J Breeding.

[@Drjordanbreeding]

This is where I THRIVE

[@Bethsabee_Sheba_Newrose]

@@Drjordanbreeding It was awesome; but how did you get through that entire video without even once poking at the author’s Mormon background being the driving force behind Edward’s staunch refusal to do the naughties with her until she turned 18 and they could get married?

[@Drjordanbreeding]

@@Bethsabee_Sheba_Newrose this may surprise you, but I do basically zero research for these haha

[@andiward7068]

The marriage only had to wait because LDS doesn't want attention brought to parental consent bypassing the age requirement.​@@Bethsabee_Sheba_Newrose

[@Bethsabee_Sheba_Newrose]

@@Drjordanbreeding …you know what? A lot more things make sense now that I’m aware of this.

[@10000Winters]

Wait… your children feed on the blood of patrons? Is that why I’m so weak and tired all the time? You mean, it WASNT law school?!

[@Drjordanbreeding]

It’s BOTH

[@berserkerciaran]

Every time I think of Twilight, I'm reminded of a Wattpad retelling I read a few years ago, where Charlie is Italian, Bella goes to see SmackDown in Phoenix, and later makes friends with CM Punk, there's a cameo of Stephanie Meyer, the La Push girls have their own werewolf pack (and also a D&D group), and the Undertaker kills a vampire with a scythe.

[@Drjordanbreeding]

Wow that sounds better

[@librarianseth5572]

@@Drjordanbreeding The scythe thing alone sounds as rad as heck

[@070haste.]

Wtf

[@niceguy191]

​@@librarianseth5572Doesn't that happen in Interview with the Vampire?

[@dondon160]

Dave kidnapped my family AGAIN! and said if I didn't watch, like and comment, he would force them into life long servitude as your channel editors. So here I am, enjoying myself for them.

[@Drjordanbreeding]

Your sacrifice is noted

[@Mad_Pretty]

It's crazy that Twilight speedran into their baseball arc. In anime, you usually get at least a half season before that happens.

[@TheCheat420]

15:55. "this joke is played out..." NEVER GIVE UP!

[@2014wolfy]

I was in actual high school when these movies came out and I still don't look as old as these "permanent teenagers" did.

[@Drjordanbreeding]

Haha yeah

[@MrsHighwind]

I’m trying to enjoy, but all I can think is wow what a beautiful window seat that is…

[@Drjordanbreeding]

I'll let my parents know haha

[@RevanXIII]

Love that editor call out. your videos are really funny and well done. I never had any interest in this movie series but for you I'd watch a video about anything. Keep up the great work.

[@Drjordanbreeding]

Wow, thanks! Yeah every video is usually divvied up between several of us, although this one was mostly me (except the first section was mostly Bryan!)

[@punkrocker1377]

“Dan did you meet any cullens…?” Was just…. *chefs kiss*

[@Drjordanbreeding]

Haha thank you

[@sleigh70]

That Ezra Miller joke 😂💀

[@Drjordanbreeding]

Ha thank you

[@erikwilliams1562]

I had to pause the video😂

[@jmcpike01]

Couldn't stand to leave Jordan hanging @ 48:55, so I air-fived him back. Facts.

[@Drjordanbreeding]

I felt it!

[@kazza6078]

"You cant go to Switzerland! You said you were Switzerland! They cant both be true!" Man i love these videos 😂

[@Drjordanbreeding]

IT'S TRUE THO

[@DtRSowfeeld]

3 minutes in and I've already had enough Madea in this twilight retrospective.

[@Drjordanbreeding]

Ha sorry

[@reggierodriguez5685]

Hahaha you're the best man! Perfect timing just saved me from having nothing to listen to at work right now 😂

[@Drjordanbreeding]

Enjoy!

[@DoesNotEqual]

Dammit, DJB, that's another set of movies you've saved me the trouble of watching! They looked positively grueling to sit through, much less edit, so my hat's off once for the effort and once again for the jokes. Oh, and one more hats-off for the sneaky Cat-Stevens-via-Sheryl-Crow clip. Thanks!

[@Drjordanbreeding]

Glad you enjoyed it haha

[@absurdwordslearns]

I'VE BEEN CHECKING THE CHANNEL EVERYDAY FOR A MONTH JUST FOR THIS ONE VIDEO, I AM SO HAPPY

[@Drjordanbreeding]

I hope the wait was worth it!

[@Skeletextman]

Every video gets more chaotic and brilliant. I can't wait until a few years from now when the videos have reached their true form: several hours of non-stop boner and poop jokes.

[@Drjordanbreeding]

That’s all I’ve ever wanted haha

[@TaurusWitch29]

Im making too many comments, but I think its poignant to point out that the writer of Twilight was/is a devout Mormon and thats why theres soo many times of old fashioned thinking about sex and marriage and souls and baby keeping. And in the book, Bella wears a long khaki skirt and sweaters (for modesty) to formally meet his family, and in the movie they wanted to keep her covered up to kind of reflect that without outright saying it. But I just found it interesting that when you apply some good ol religious beliefs to the moral ambiguity of the movie, you can kinda tell there was some mini-fundamentalism in there lol. Especially the books

[@Drjordanbreeding]

Huh... well there you go!

[@yourfriendlyinternetmeatshield]

I did not know that. Interesting.... I bet the writer partook in the sin of caffeine while writing their series of books about demons and stuff. I bet they even skipped family night and didn't go to Temple!

[@MatthewCaunsfield]

At this stage I now know more about Twilight then any other film series I haven't actually watched

[@Drjordanbreeding]

Yay? Haha

[@NobodyDrinksFromMyGal]

Well, knowledge is power, so knowledge about the Twilight series must be....uh, no, that doesn't sound right. 🤔

[@kazza6078]

I dont care how many people cover twilight, I'll watch all the videos. My love for twilight is based firmly on how much i can make fun of it

[@Bethsabee_Sheba_Newrose]

It is so supernaturally sucky.

[@TitularHeroine]

An hour fifty-four?! I like this return to short-form content!

[@Drjordanbreeding]

It was a BREEZE