I Found The Perfect Boyfriend

[@goobysooby]

as a woman i can confirm that yes every single piece of clothing i have has been personally chosen for me by this man

[@chocolateaddictedartist5924]

As another woman I can confirm that this internet stranger buys my articles of clothing.

[@amandaburton5868]

as a lady*

[@cayseaxo]

its true, I'm the clothing

[@BeefIsCheese]

@@amandaburton5868 what's the difference? /Gen

[@ri_s9671]

yes, he buys all of the shitty clothes i have come to possess as well

[@addieloomis218]

This man writing his own self insert fanfics, I respect it

[@bucketman5138]

i dont

[@addieloomis218]

@@bucketman5138 you know what, i respect that too

[@bucketman5138]

@@addieloomis218 lmao

[@vogelvrouw]

Hes doing imagines but with himself and yn

[@addieloomis218]

@@vogelvrouw cutting out the middle man

[@beth4692]

I love how an integral part of the fantasy is that the girl patiently waits until his game is over, like picture her just hovering there for 35 minutes

[@Tw0Dots]

Bold of you to say its only 35 for this guy

[@2-d_in_a_bag]

like that meme of the guy doing housework and he's like "it's all a part of the foreplay".

[@TheShpilyaOfigela]

My husband used to be a dota2 player. I was waiting for like an hour

[@skitterly]

Ikr it’s like “I’m so selfless! I make my wife wait for me to finish the game before I return her affections!”

[@gaylittlepixie]

i knowwww that part killed me, the "you wait patiently" 😂

[@tyetuia8665]

"Only if your skin is white" made me choke on my water. 🤣

[@tyetuia8665]

@@liamsteamwalsh8421 lol no lies detected.

[@weavesnatched7957]

i remember feeling so bad for my poc sisters who were 1D fans when that vid came out 😭

[@rayquarizard2911]

Tbf if you listen to one direction you’re probably white

[@peggy_bobeggy]

@@weavesnatched7957 wait am i stupid but why was the 'being white' part said?

[@sinfulshoulder]

⁠@@peggy_bobeggybecause 1D has more than just white fans, but they only used white girls as the pov for viewers so it kinda felt like they were leaving out the people of color fans :/

[@kurtisconnorsyeeyee2853]

Kurtis casually mentioning his tour bus burning down in every video from now on is actually both so sad and funny

[@ukrivu]

it's absolutely fucking hilarious i hope he continues with it

[@AAAAAA-613]

Wait, did that actually happen???

[@paadoxal]

i thought it was a joke first time he said it but i do think it's the funniest fucking thing even tho it actually burned down

[@annah2284]

@@AAAAAA-613 yes it did unfortunately! no one was hurt but they lost a lot of merch and belongings in the fire. but kurtis posted recently that they got a new tour bus and were able to continue the tour :)

[@AAAAAA-613]

@@annah2284 oh no! At least everyone was fine and they were able to keep going

[@k_rinabeena]

every segment with mr. "ladies is it weird" felt like nails on a chalkboard but the stitch language part took me tf out, caught me off guard and will haunt me for days now

[@KreeZafi]

I'm lowkey embarrassed to admit that the Stitch language made me feel nostalgic, because I was OBSESSED with Lilo and Stitch as a kid and would speak in the Stitch voice a lot when I was like 7 lmaooo

[@andshereadstoo7809]

@@KreeZafi I loved Lilo and Stich but this was too much for me 💀💀💀

[@howl8406]

It's the "think about it" right after that makes me immediately wanna just click away LOL

[@beab2583]

"Ladies is it weird that ..." YESSSSSS , if he was my boyfriend i would be freaked tf out , ladies is it weird that I find it creepy af instead of stimulating ?

[@klitzy]

Resurrected cringe culture

[@miss.emaline]

I’ve never heard the term “emotional thirst trap”, but it’s straight up the perfect way to describe these kinds of videos holy shit

[@fricketyfracktraintrack]

@Türkiyeyi seviyorum how deep is your love

[@Tattooineismycity]

Damn the bots working overtime 💀

[@notaburneraccount]

Man I'd make good money if I had a voice like his 🥲

[@SunshowerWonderlab]

@@fricketyfracktraintrack as deep as the bottomless pit I have in my backyard that I use to dispose of bodies.

[@caprimann87]

it is called manipulation as he makes that bs up.

[@floppyj.burger5402]

Why does it always look like kurtis is stuck in a bowling alley in the 80s offering kids cigarettes

[@s0Shi]

Underrated comment

[@LoreleiCatherine]

Stoppppp 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 omg why is this right though?!

[@Noodlemonkey7]

No no. Cocaine

[@KingOfGaymes]

Nah man he’d give kids the stink eye while he smokes in the bowling alley

[@bigdawg2004]

@@KingOfGaymes he would definitely cough and plug his nose when he walks by someone who is sweaty (and look at them judgementaly)

[@nellypjensen]

i love how committed you are to never letting that horrible Ninja tweet be forgotten

[@FeeshUnofficial]

@im calling saul deez

[@echomoth9270]

Where

[@nikkivergakes1089]

LMAOOO YESS

[@RedCaio]

which tweet?

[@mofubunsart]

@@echomoth9270 4:44 he’s mocking the tweet lol

[@devons.3481]

the second this guy said "actively seek out hugs" i knew he says "where's my hug?" reflexively to every woman he is even slightly acquainted with

[@alec2627]

ew...we used to call those ppl a human vacuum cleaner, because they suck the life force out of your life using emotional manipulation to "get hugs"

[@kellygreen7236]

Also the "Hey gurl..." "Um...." "Did you know" "That you look beautiful?" from 2012 Facebook memes *edited to correct typo*

[@Kiannka]

Omg yes... I know too many people like that

[@BunniesAreAdorable]

Yes. I don’t like those people it makes me feel uncomfortable luckily my dad is protective!

[@Kiannka]

@@BunniesAreAdorable my dad once asked me if Id feel better if he beat the people up that crossed my boundaries and abused me. Maybe Im crazy but just him saying that made me feel better already

[@Juliet-ow1wy]

Listening to kurtis half heartedly talk about how great tour is while looking like he's about to pass out is so funny to me

[@Juliet-ow1wy]

The bots omg

[@chickennuggetpaw]

Relatable

[@perplexed1783]

Hi! you finally found a human in the replies, Suprising right?

[@annabeatrizzimmermann7708]

@@Juliet-ow1wy i fell for it lol the one with the kurtis picture and name 💀 im so done

[@looseginger]

@Kurtis Соnnner 🅥 kick rocks

[@zamn2079]

Finding a Kurtis Conner video you haven’t watched, is like finding a twenty dollar bill in your winter coat you haven’t worn for 9 months.

[@nothanks7660]

Especially when there's a song in it too

[@sarahdoesrobloxandgacha7883]

Relatable

[@beetroten7178]

Kurtis reciting the Ninja “braless wife” tweet is my personal rickroll

[@heaven5gate]

@Wrath 🅥 shut up

[@lydiamv21]

Fr

[@d3adxb0yxwalk1ng]

i want him to replace his intro with that tweet

[@SuperNintendoChalmers_]

Honestly my favourite lmaooo

[@Oddi0]

I forgot that was Ninja lmao

[@Goldendoodlegamer11]

I’m going to permanently have the phrase “let’s watch another tink tonk” in my head forever

[@mathddv]

I love tink tonk

[@mountaindewbajablasst]

@Thank me later 🅥 where's the video where he gets exposed for giving people polio

[@EmmaJohnsonShenanigans]

it’s not the first time he’s said that but each time i hear it i can’t unhear it

[@arin1902]

what's with all these spam bots

[@tallic967]

Alright, somebody own up, who ordered the Spam Bot Special?

[@manderly33]

“Ladies, is it weird that I think you’re all the same and want exactly the same things?” Yes. Yes it is.

[@sallyversace]

This is what bothers me about it too, like its directed at all women because we're just a monolith

[@jf2801]

@@sallyversace it feels like it goes further, tbh. Not only what he thinks women want, but also blatantly projecting what he wants. I feel kinda bad for the guy. Seems lonely. But, also, I'm still really uncomfortable with his videos. He's like...either trolling us all. Or, he actually thinks those comments from 12 year old girls is an indication of how he's perceived by all women. In which case, yikes. Edited bc I realized that the sandwich part i mentioned (since took that out of my comment) was Kurtis. Oh boy. 😅

[@dontbefatuousjeffrey2494]

@@jf2801 um... I thought the sandwich bit was Kurtis satirising him? Or did I miss something?

[@2-d_in_a_bag]

some guys forget that we're human beings too. and it really sucks.

[@Ashh602]

@@jf2801 what? The sandwich bit was a ninja reference

[@mollymoo2452]

he’s definitely the ‘where’s my hug’ kind of dude

[@brianaverly6391]

Nah he's the " you wouldn't date me bc I'm so ugly"

[@EdgieAlias]

These are not mutually exclusive, and they usually lead into each other. ​@@brianaverly6391

[@StinkyWetRat505]

“Babe don’t kys you’re too sexy haha “

[@arush1iii]

@@brianaverly6391he’s both ngl

[@cora0420]

He's also the "women only want bad guys..." kind of dude

[@frisubm1261]

hearing that boy asking all those things is like reading a fanfic out loud, just cursed imo

[@moth3072]

the “imagine if” bit was just a one direction imagine from 2013 i got war flashbacks

[@rae4007]

"I tied my long, golden hair into a messy bun and threw on my favorite cropped top that hugged my hourglass figure tightly. I always hated looking at myself in the mirror, I stared at my icy blue orbs while they stared back at me examining my body. I hated how small and petite I was. I hated my sharp jawline, flat stomach, clear skin, naturally straight,white teeth.I hated that I wasn't like other girls, I hated makeup and shopping, i loved reading and eating pizza and playing video games. After hating on everything about myself I rushed downstairs to see my alcoholic guardian that hates me. They said to pack my bags because they've sold me to a popular boy band so that they could buy more alcohol"

[@shiannafoxx]

@@rae4007 Amazing 10/10 would read again

[@linda4015]

Kurtis: tour is a lot Also Kurtis: *creates 100 hilarious skits over a single tiktok AND the new disney prince anthem*

[@justyuan0907]

@yes that's a bot

[@Alex-hd4yr]

@@justyuan0907 that user is also a bot

[@rachelcookie321]

Disney prince anthem?

[@1Sariat5]

Legit what I was thinking :D He puts so much effort into his vids, even the ones that have simpler concepts

[@justyuan0907]

@@Alex-hd4yr oh damn

[@natalie_sipes]

don’t be silly kurtis, we all know the indoor boyfriend is the most perfect

[@abri3902]

Word

[@goob7341]

Obviously 🤭

[@hayashidraws]

yes

[@N_IRL]

I am so sorry for your replies

[@ThunderSpecial]

What a reference

[@Mostly_Roblox]

My theory is he is an alien and is trying to find out what's normal

[@sawyernorthrop4078]

"Is it normal? No, really, is it? I don't know I'm so tired"

[@WankiTank]

like that one and key and peele sketch "what is thaaat" or smth like that

[@dusjling]

autistic me growing up LMAO

[@666_cthulhu]

ummm no shit sherlock? he’s stitch, weren’t you listening 🙄 (/s)

[@florytb]

no wonder he wants to larp as stitch

[@nahin2974]

Kurtis's skits are like a dream, you don’t know wtf is going on until it's over

[@sophiapilling1405]

I dunno, I watched the whole thing and still have no idea wtf is happening

[@Miriam-pq4vx]

i had a dream that i was swept away by a tornado... this felt the same

[@maddygeezkneez1155]

Yes, in the skit where he was confessing a kink that lead into the "I'm the joker" twist was so wild lmao

[@haz.fellie]

Fever dream*

[@ryleeanderson3678]

Or you think you know until the end😭

[@aeromotex]

this is the kind of dude that wants to act like the sweetest, most sensitive guy and as soon as you say you don't wanna go on a date with him he tells you you're worthless and don't deserve to live

[@sianmilne4879]

Yup, "But I'm PERFECT how could ANYONE not want to date me, you must be stupid!" 😂

[@heyspeckle8782]

yes!! the nice guy energy is strong with this one

[@dollpickle]

he’s incredibly cringy and weird

[@JujusCandy]

he seems like one of those dudes that are like "where is my hug at?? 🤓🤓"

[@surprisedsock]

@@JujusCandy Alex Meyers reference?

[@wunschbrunnen686]

he doesn't want a girlfriend, he just wants to be a fashion stylist

[@katthestranger]

Why does this have 3k likes but no comment💀 I'm confused

[@Locita_Lulu]

Nah fr

[@Random-sk6hm]

@@katthestranger don't question it.

[@Remandcoke]

​@@katthestrangerthere's nothing to respond to straight facts with 😂

[@gruby5478]

​@@katthestranger10K with 5 comments including me lol

[@breemac7525]

These were all so hard to watch but the last one has me physically recoiling

[@DiMagnolia]

I collapsed into myself like a dying star the voice was my ultimate undoing

[@Random-sk6hm]

@@DiMagnolia omg astrophysics joke

[@emciclez]

so... you don't wanna be his boojiboo? 🥺

[@archivalsociety]

I'm so proud of you Kurtis for finding yourself such a wonderful boyfriend!

[@perplexed1783]

Seems like I am the only human here, The AI is taking over and this is the first step

[@businessmudkip4548]

Why are there so many bots in this reply section????? Aaaaagh

[@expiredmilk85]

@@perplexed1783 yes it is >:^)

[@mjt1517]

@@businessmudkip4548 don't stop them...they're scamming each other!! xD

[@hel2727]

I'm so gay for him 😌🎉

[@sammieq6728]

“Since I’m on the road I unfortunately don’t have time to make more complex videos” proceeds to act no less than 3 characters in a skit as a girl actively seeking hugs

[@Cheerleaderfan6]

and makes a full musical number lmao

[@dorinhaaaaa]

Kurtis saying he cant do high production videos because he’s on tour then proceeding to make a whole song is funniest thing

[@cbabaint]

well its a song, not a video

[@nataliap.3519]

And a 16 minute video with so much editing

[@Nightswarmer]

Our goodest boi has some serious ADHD vibes

[@yourbootyholeisyourbeautyhole]

infp vibes babyyy 🤟

[@c0zmozys]

@@cbabaintnice pfp

[@rich_granny]

As a genderfluid person i can say that when i feel femenine, this man buys me all my clothes, and when i don't, he breaks into my house and steals every single piece of clothing i have

[@curvedline5328]

I should have really realized I was a trans dude earlier when he bought my sister clothes but if I took any of them he’d set my closet on fire

[@DiMagnolia]

Help I’m non-binary but I look so femme he won’t stop buying me dresses my home is completely inundated by dresses I’m drowning I can’t find the door to escape my house please I’m

[@oliverthedum2129]

@@DiMagnoliaoh no they just died from drowning in dresses

[@toceeno874]

@@oliverthedum2129 "dresst" in peace 😔

[@oliverthedum2129]

@@toceeno874 😭😭😭

[@bren959]

I was crying over a boy who didn’t love me until I watched this video. Now I have the ick. Not all hero’s wear capes. Thanks Kurtis!!

[@lacasalingadimoabit2317]

Some wear a mullet

[@RubyCoughDrop]

If this is being loved, I want no part!

[@seebrenn]

Kurtis has the power to break the spell from any boy lmao

[@blending_in]

Same

[@WhatExcellentBoiledPo-ta-toes]

I had never experienced the ick until this video. Turns out I don't like new experiences 💀

[@danijelseep225]

i dont know if its just me but this man is fucking terrifying. everything about him is so strangely chilling anytime i hear him say “ladies” i get full body chills. if i saw this man in public id run as far away as i could

[@laceyrainbolt5432]

hard same. the first couple videos were all i needed to be convinced he is an abuser. he’s sending the message that the bare minimum is special and other men won’t do it. he’s the only one who can provide the emotional intimacy that is required in any relationship. that is absolutely an emotional manipulation tactic. he disturbed me so much i kept covering the screen and talking out loud to myself to drown out his voice lol

[@laceyrainbolt5432]

he’s also specifically targeting women who are victims of previous abuse because they’re the only ones who might actually believe that what he’s advertising isn’t normal behavior. predators seek out easy prey.

[@sodiumsodiumsodium1109]

Because it seems fake as hell and you wonder what he's really like under the surface 🧐

[@brigade7678]

@@laceyrainbolt5432 what in the hell are you talking about. Thats really horrible what you just said dude. The guy is cringe not a danger to society, seriously you need to grow up and watch what you say about other humans cus that is some insane accusations you just threw out over some silly cringe behavior. he is targeting, at worst, lonely people who want silly cliche cute things in their life. Speaking as a "victim of previous abuse" you are deeply ignorant to throw around words like -abuser-. STOP diminishing the meaning of serious shit by using it on BASIC ass cringe behavior. he is uusing "pick me" behavior, not "abusive manipulation against victims". ffs

[@blackstarninja6785]

It’s his expression too, he is so smug and self satisfied while he oozes this toxic sludge.

[@Bibobbelcher]

The “actively seeking out hugs” skit was so fucking funny truly peak comedy

[@honeybun3596]

i have matching onesies with my girlfriend and i will never get this out of my head now thanks alex

[@izzybobizzyy]

if you don’t call her boojiboo while wearing the matching onesies i’ll be very upset

[@jas6207]

i nearly gagged at the video then realizing i have a matching onesie with my boyfriend

[@valentinajaimes2348]

imagine being irl friends with this guy, i wouldn't be able to look him in the eyes without making fun of him

[@perplexed1783]

@Zyzz The bot itself is betraying his kind wow

[@thelameg6]

id call him budgyboo in public and then explain to any woman he met that he wanted her to crush him sexually.

[@Yippeprincess3]

@Zyzz the bot betrays his own kind

[@calvinlee8103]

This is not a man who has friends in real life.

[@ratkeep]

@@pheebsvv that account is also a bot, it posted a link right above that comment, it's trickery, perhaps even witchcraft

[@maksillorenzo9480]

It’s crazy that Kurtis thinks this video isn’t a big video - cuz the work and amount of editing in this is so much especially for on tour and in a hotel room

[@Mariea4926]

Yeah it just felt like a normal video. Very funny and light hearted. And the song at the end 👏👏

[@liv3835]

honestly id say this is one of his best videos yet

[@sianburke2282]

Yes, I feel fully fed

[@greendayyylmao3427]

i thought he has editors

[@roxieab]

“I don’t have the time to make a complex video” *writes and films a song, fully edited* I love you Kurtis

[@jongkittae]

this man's out here fully writing his own fanfic in asmr on twitch stream I'm dying this is the zoomer male version of all the tween girls who wrote twilight smut in 2008 😂

[@isabella6292]

The Spider-Man kiss was actually in a One Direction fanfic😭😭 I’m pretty sure y/n was dating Harry

[@WankiTank]

you've put it into words

[@hayleypatin7899]

I'm tempted to say that Kurtis's new boyfriend comes across as a classic "pick me" boy. But I'm endeavoring to be a better person and I can see this guy makes our Mayor happy, buys him all the clothes that exist, and got him matching Disney onesies so bless you both and mazel tov

[@ange4048]

😂😂 I was about to ask what’s the name for an indoor Chad then I saw a Chad had responded 😂😂😂

[@yalllouu1094]

Congratulations, Kurtis! I hope your girlfriend doesn't mind.

[@genericname2747]

Polyamory

[@Live_Laugh_Loathe]

Love the suzuya pfp

[@Sillylilgrill]

@@genericname2747 yes

[@skylerk126]

jesus christ the bots… is this what it’s like to be early

[@zoe-pi4rm]

@Kurtis Соnnner 🅥 😩

[@xCindyLouWhox]

Fun fact: I only watch Kurtis’ videos so I can hear Barbie say “balls” all the time. Edit: this might be the most likes I’ve ever gotten on a comment and it’s about Barbie saying “balls.” 💀

[@blending_in]

These replies are killing me 💀

[@Virtual.punk77]

He's used it so many times yet it still gets me every time 💀

[@rolo0o]

The way I scream every time it’s played

[@rolo0o]

It has truly been the only thing keeping me here since the extra greeting stopped

[@eszti_eszti]

i personally come for the bratz girl saying "ew" but "balls" is a pretty good one too

[@gocry3930]

as a lesbian this man makes me physically recoil back in my seat when i watch any of his tik toks and i find it hilarious

[@SR-lr7he]

As a straight woman, same 😂

[@placeholderdoe]

I am a man who doesn’t know his sexuality(fun), he makes me wanna crawl out of my skin, run away to a different country, and take 5 1/2 baths

[@lillienicholas4581]

My organs are shriveling up and turning to dust just hearing his voice

[@gocry3930]

Onggg@@lillienicholas4581

[@gocry3930]

real omg@@placeholderdoe

[@ABigHandsomeMan]

he seems like the type to text you twelve times in a row lile "are you mad at me?" "idk what i did wrong but im sorry" "please answer me dont be mad at me" when you dont answer for half an hour because youre at work

[@abracadanielle9647]

Blech I just had so many flashbacks to high school

[@anyalaASMR]

Gross gross gross gross gro-

[@emmi9634]

No literally

[@hannahwatson4003]

except he would probably say "i'm sowwy 🥺"

[@LadyCererra]

Omg I used to do this when I was raised as a man and now that I'm like. Evolved, men will do it to me as well and I'm like omg is this what it was like????

[@winniepenkethman6809]

me and my sister saw you in Chicago; we laughed, we cried, we peed, we pooped. Y’all were incredible 10/10 - thank you for a delightful show.

[@TheToobNube]

That’s good to hear. I’m having trouble pooing, so I guess I’ll definitely get a ticket now.

[@maryp9923]

Pee time 😊😮

[@blairylame]

ayeee i was there too, i can’t believe everyone pooped on the floor at the same time

[@lavenderlaceration]

I saw him in Chicago as well!! Laughed so hard I almost lost my voice 😁😁

[@winniepenkethman6809]

@@lavenderlaceration they were all so good :,,,,)

[@andrewlewis4046]

The “double it, triple it, double it, double it” killed me. Haven’t laughed that hard in a while😂

[@lindboknifeandtool]

Double it, I need all of it Yes it’s me

[@giftmakumbibiye1486]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/g3zKnYSEh9Kbfqs

[@elizabethnguyen9774]

@shad shad I don’t like it, it looks like a cement block with a top hat

[@VirandoGringa]

Me too

[@jadenalexzandria8840]

i was literally coming to comment this im still cracking up

[@theanxiouspotato1177]

Fun fact he used to make shower thoughts videos before doing this

[@ineza2425]

explains the way he talks in to the microphone

[@Shang19.05]

never thought in my 17 years i would hear a grown man call himself a golden retriever

[@Cera_01]

Have you not heard of furries

[@calvinlee8103]

17 is super young. Once you're old and sad like me, you'll be much less shocked by people saying *much* worse things. The internet is a truly awful place.

[@bingusdingus8239]

@@calvinlee8103 it's truly a cesspool but I still be spending all my time here

[@mammoneymelon]

i don't think it's weird to compare yourself or someone else to the behavior of another animal? like golden retrievers are known for their open affection, friendliness, and loyalty so he's saying he'd give this hypothetical girl the same affection and loyalty a golden retriever would give their person it's a weird way of saying he's a bit too into women showing the littlest bit of physical affection but the dog comparison is one of the least weird parts of the video lol

[@melinoess]

girl you got so many more years...... thats not even the beginning

[@eilisinivy]

Kurtis: sorry i dont have time for a more complex video Kurtis: *acts out multiple Hollywood level skits & writes a disney song foy a tink tonk boi* You're doing God's work Kurtis

[@vantruongthi9105]

ok

[@michaelmyersonrr9926]

oK

[@blackparademistress1]

If this isn’t a complex video then every other KZbinr needs to step up.

[@cheoa1473]

ok

[@notaburneraccount]

Is it w e i r d that I watched this video twiceee?! XD

[@sr72013]

kurtis: “at the end of the day, this content is harmless” me: *violently throwing up every time he says “is it? 😌🤪”*

[@tagliatelle]

LITERALLY I can't believe Kurtis was able to watch the clips and laugh, I was looking away and gagging the entire time

[@isopodcritter]

EXACTLY i just really hate the concept of praising someone for the bare minimum

[@joachimlewandowski9229]

I literally hate his voice so much I wanted to throw up

[@sr72013]

@@isopodcritter fr, i can’t cope 😭

[@ona512]

the chances of this content being harmful is low. but not zero

[@binarystarkillers5299]

what a lovely reminder that i'm a lesbian

[@theawantikamishra]

Hahaha

[@Liz-cw6pg]

Ladies, is it weird that i want us BOTH to wear the Angel onesie? 😳💞

[@dianaberlin4767]

"Oh my God men are horrible and I.. Wait, not my problem!"😂

[@ben_baudelaire]

“Ladies, is it normal that I’d transition just to be your boyfrie...” don’t you dare dude, don’t you dare

[@lillienicholas4581]

SAME 😅

[@sarahgs_]

I’ve never been more uncomfortable. Thanks, Kurtis!

[@tophiana9575]

This video shaved several decades off of my life

[@blackparademistress1]

Every time I think I’ve been the most uncomfortable in my life, Kurtis raises the bar.

[@he.said.teenjiejer]

if i had a nickel for every time kurtis wrote a song about being a boyfriend, i’d have two nickels. which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice, right?

[@garfield_tv]

3 if you count blood-related!!!

[@buzzfeedhater]

🎶DOOFENSCHMIRTZ EVIL INC- CORP-O-RATED🎶

[@kaleefisher2928]

Phineas and ferb

[@unicorn69]

Ah, Doofenshmirtz

[@he.said.teenjiejer]

@@garfield_tv oh shit yeah

[@rammypaige]

I feel like this guy would make a killing if he did those boyfriend rp asmr things. Right up his alley.

[@dontbefatuousjeffrey2494]

I thought this WAS him doing that lol

[@aniiahie]

isnt that what hes doing lol?

[@seiros575]

@@dontbefatuousjeffrey2494 Same

[@ز.ينب]

Oml noOOOOOAJSKEISJ I can definitely see that happening

[@medicalgirl3]

He's got the voice for it

[@Strbwycake]

The ‘is this weird’ rant turning into a joker monologue has me rolling

[@jeanpierrepolnareff9009]

This man makes me want to run away with enough force to turn an indoor boyfriend into an outdoor boyfriend

[@oliviamiller4494]

DAWGGG U MADE ME LOL

[@Asumi441]

So trueee😂

[@cheerleaderofdoom766]

This was an excellent comment

[@DrunkScience1]

Polnareff? 🐢

[@gabbieh5680]

this made me audibly exhale from my nose

[@wooderlyn2224]

Ya know this dude is definitely not the worst of the bunch, kinda weird how he poses it as a question like “is it weird that-“ instead of just being like “dude I’d love to just have romantic cute moments with a girl” because like, I don’t see anything wrong with saying how you want to do wholesome romantic things

[@jayflight5351]

Probably gets him more comments

[@cupriferouscatalyst3708]

@@jayflight5351 I bet you're right on the money. Phrasing the narration/caption in social media content as a question is a classic tactic for increased interaction. Typical examples are "is it weird that...?"/"What would you do if...?"/"Have you ever seen...?"/"How cool is...?".

[@KäptnKrückschwank]

@@jayflight5351of course; so all the 14yr old girls go „what nooo that‘s NOT weird! You are perfect!“ or „I want that too, can you imagine? Let‘s be weird together“

[@casrrole]

cringe culture isn’t dead. It’s just searching for its next victim. Like the queen.

[@Noxinq]

Rip, your comments are full of bots

[@manboy4720]

damn, britain was too cringe that it killed the queen.

[@perplexed1783]

@Emotional Damage For a second I thought you were one of the bots lmao

[@seayuh]

these bots also killed the queen

[@GabbaaGhoul]

my face watching that guy😦😳🫣😵

[@wanderingseth]

"actively seeking out hugs" means "as opposed to passively accepting the hugs that I creepily force on you"

[@barghest94]

I think just any physical contact initiated by a woman gets this guy going.

[@theonlyrosy]

This is just the right amount of tomfoolery. I felt rather silly when watching this video, and hope to see this level of goofiness again

[@gj5748]

Same

[@beatrizsilva7916]

just a silly goofy mood

[@elipeeli]

Not gonna lie, having a job where you find out who needs a hug because they are having a bad time seems really cool. Not enough people get hugs when they need them

[@dandy10195]

professional cuddlers are a thing!

[@perplexed1783]

Suprised your comment didn't get blasted with bots, Ig they hate hugs

[@DeathPetalArt]

Right? I'd love that.

[@beejuice_]

i need a hug

[@ralek592]

Unless they're professional football players who are sick and traumatized from getting tackled

[@agrad12]

This video made me want to get a restraining order against every Alex in the world including myself.

[@thecraziestcrayon]

Alex Meyers is cool.

[@tsxxcea]

I love kurtis’s commitment to reference that ninja tweet in every opportunity he gets

[@josephmatthews7698]

This has to be parody. I can't live in a world where this dude is doing this unironically.

[@kaluca]

agreed

[@SSLjournal]

And he’s famous for it 🥴🥴🥴

[@v.xien.]

he doing it to manipulate impressionable girls

[@harvey8138]

Congratulations Sherlock you cracked the case

[@josephmatthews7698]

@@harvey8138 my faith is restored and mother will be so proud once I print this comment section out for her.

[@selfsessions3515]

“Instead of lifting his shirt to show you his abs, he’ll lift up his shirt to show you his heart” I’m cackling at how I said heart at the same time as Kurtis 😂😂😂😂

[@thenotsoamazinggracetnsag3463]

That actually sounds terrifying if you take it literally.

[@smashingpumpkins27]

Me too!!

[@tylerelizabeth5150]

only kurtis could get me to sit through those excruciating tiktoks

[@_sleazy_c]

Guys with dedicated and practiced Stitch voices are such a personal red flag I swear to god

[@Confusion7182]

This is an entire type of guy???

[@AlinaProbably]

I'm stunned you've met more than one (bc I've met zero so far, not including this Alex guy)

[@lunanewyear]

Yes omg 😭

[@chipchap3990]

I absolutely love it when people actively seek out breathing air

[@justgonnacomment]

BAHAHAH sorry for ur replies btw

[@MoonchildDontCry]

OmG yOu are SOOOO weIrD 🤪🤪🥵

[@pissapocalypse]

Its so hot when they inhale oxygen and exhale carbon dioxide

[@hannagee7]

Kurtis mentioning his tour bus burning down is the new extra greeting we deserved

[@averypineda215]

13:22 - 13:23 has the most threatening energy I have ever seen. Kurtis, due to the harsh lighting casting an even harsher shadow, has this soulless look and even the shine of his eyes are GONE. 10/10 it fits with the shallowness of the song absolutely perfectly. Cinematic masterpiece.

[@lmr10-c4z]

Practically deserves an Oscar in the short film category

[@AshleyBubbles27]

Omg nice catching that. Its like he is slowly coming for you 😂

[@fyreice3697]

I'M SO GLAD I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO WAS REALLY CREEPED OUT LMAOOO

[@maggiemcleod6840]

I love that at 05:30 you can see the clock changing time behind him lol. It took him 6 minutes to say two lines.

[@busound2401]

Kurtis reenacting the thirst trap with Jerma's chat overlay was just perfect. I see that PSYCHO everywhere

[@vissersixty-nine6246]

and the fucking energy of someone donating RIGHT as he's starting a tiktok is incredibly jerma-esque it's insane!!!! i can legit see jerma remaking one of these as a bit and getting it interrupted by chat for 30 minutes straight

[@lizkavanagh]

@@vissersixty-nine6246 very similar vibe to the FNAF chill stream bit

[@malmamia8912]

God damn it Kurtis, you’ve gotten me with the Ninja braless wife tweet like 20 times

[@oliviahartmann9647]

I was at your show yesterday and wow it was so good I haven’t laughed that hard in so long dude I’m really proud of how far you have come

[@oliviahartmann9647]

OMG HE HEARTED MY COMMENT IM SO HIGH AND CONFUSED

[@darkenedskyy8876]

4:15 watching this the day Liam died

[@Anna-ud2qt]

This guy is the embodiment of a pick me… so many more reasons to die single.

[@justgonnacomment]

Im sorry for ur replies apart fron the ppl making fun of the bots (which i think may also be) bots but eh they r fine

[@jvillanueva2978]

omg a pick me guy lmao

[@lautre.]

click on the like button. dont worry about what i wrote previously

[@milktea6676]

I have All the Abs

[@jsas2047]

Idk these things don't really sound like the bare minimum. The bare minimum/basic respect should be met in 100% of relationships and well, i wouldn't want him doing basically any of the things he described. I think these are actually pretty romantic scenarios if you're into that kind of stuff, to me it's mostly creepy/uncomfortable lol

[@cryforhelp7270]

@@jsas2047 It doesn't feel romantic to me either honestly... Sounds like something I'd see in a fanfiction tho. The random dancing thing was cute, and I'd smile if I saw it in a book is all lol

[@elephorofonius]

can't relate

[@jsas2047]

@@cryforhelp7270 truee i mean the Disney stuff can be cute if you're also a Disney adult but.. I'm not, so this is definitely not the bare minimum/standard for my relationship (or relationships in general, I'm pretty sure most people aren't disney adults lmao).

[@ThatGuyMikey1]

I actually found out I’m trans because I never received clothing from this guy. True story.

[@chef_Jeremy]

This is very funny. well done

[@placeholderdoe]

Nice that’s he’s respectful like that

[@fatomfatom2867]

😭😭😭😭😭😭

[@husaynbootwala1729]

Barney? Is that you?

[@bunzbunz1442]

oh you too? 🧐

[@COVELYN-m1p]

2:06 the fox in my neighborhood barks whenever I play this part 😀

[@enigmaticembers]

He's cornering the romance novel market and should not be underestimated

[@wpc456cpw]

LMFAOOOOOO

[@checynhadi2815]

Shiiiii we ain’t complaining 😌😏

[@dklee.01]

this

[@imadoinwat8994]

Can I just say that the fact that he buys me a new piece of clothing every day is really annoying. I don’t have any space in my drawers anymore. I’ve tried to talk to him before, but he kept sending me clothes. I’m under some real stress from this and I’ve been talking to my therapist about it. She totally understands, she has the same issues with him

[@alexamuhlach9951]

underrated comment

[@imdad4252]

Omg. I have the same issue! At first, I found it really flattering but I have already rented out my 3rd apartment just to store these clothes. I already told him to stop but then he kept asking me if he's weird so I relented. Please help

[@alissajacobs1887]

Around 13:20 I started to feel personally threatened, like Kurtis was looking directly into my soul telling me how great of a boyfriend he'd be

[@blending_in]

Lmao

[@VincentVaIentine]

IM DDYINGG

[@vicpilled]

as a trans man i can confirm that this man purchased all of my clothing before i came out and promptly broke into my house and stole them all after i transitioned

[@VagueOracle]

People I have met that act like this end up being super controlling and abusive behind closed doors

[@MS-wh7ec]

Yup! Love bombing to the max!!

[@momomomo69]

True, people who are nice don't have to go around telling everyone how nice they are

[@genericname8727]

While I do agree with that, I think he’s basically playing a bit of a character since he’s basically doing thirst traps for large audiences. Idk though. I think it’s kind of like how love interests in romance novels are often toxic, because it can be fun to fantasise about things even if those things would be unpleasant irl. Some people (not you) have been acting like he’s definitely done something awful, and I think it’s because his behaviour feels too familiar. I do think we can criticise the content though while not assuming anything bad about him. I’ve definitely shared your experiences with guys who act like this irl, and I personally don’t like how it’s presented as desirable.

[@Oxana_Ko]

💯💯💯

[@zellelietta1553]

True

[@bigmilk13_]

Love how much flare you were able to put into a video filmed in a hotel room. Also the skits were fantastic! You have a knack for dropping the punchline JUST as the skit is about to become cringe. That sounds almost insulting... no, like, it's absolutely hilarious how you manage to pull it off with perfect timing.

[@lol-sl4oj]

lmaoo i so get the cringe part and i agree he has a talent for that😭

[@shepard6895]

Some of those skits had me crying with laughter, my chest hurts after this lol

[@lareinabrown]

Imagine actually dating this guy and trying to explain this to your friends💀

[@wiselordasianjesusthegreatest]

but would he actually post this shit if he had a girlfriend? 💀

[@oohhheneedsomemilk]

@@wiselordasianjesusthegreatest thank youuu

[@rocketamadeus3730]

Repress the urge to vomit long enough and you get a new wardrobe ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[@aubreyplazasuncle]

@@liamsteamwalsh8421because this is fucking weird. a thirst trap is shallow.

[@aubreyplazasuncle]

@@liamsteamwalsh8421 emotional cuts deeper than surface level sexual thirst traps. if that's not an obvious fact to you you're probably from a different planet and that's fine

[@igudon284]

"Is it weird that I want your voice to be my alarm?" Yes, yes it is.

[@BoringTroublemaker]

I need to find this guy on twitch Edit: found him and watched his reaction stream to this video. He laughed a bunch and clearly found it funny, his chatters though- yikes. They were not happy to see their boyfriend being poked at. They had things to say about Kurtis’ mullet 😂😂😂 and also called his fans “toxic” for not understanding and being mean in the comments. Lol

[@e.k_liadon]

So they accused Kurtis' fans of being toxic while exhibiting toxic behavior themselves? 🤔 Yep! That sounds like Twitch! xD

[@BoringTroublemaker]

@@e.k_liadon haha yeah

[@mrselfdestruct7605]

Its always incredibly strange when the person themselves is completely fine with and seemingly self aware with their content being cringe but their fanbase takes it painfully seriously

[@hiinsanity]

possibly brainwashed

[@genericname8727]

To be fair to those toxic chatters, I have seen some popular toxic comments here too. Glad the guy took it well and could have a laugh.

[@peebbeep4830]

The way Kurtis explains that he can’t make the type of videos he would like to while on tour at the beginning of this masterpiece. Such a humble guy

[@Andyyoureastar]

my soul ascended when he started the Stitch voice. you just cant predict all this man has to offer and that's why i cant look away

[@maliareann8202]

Underrated comment

[@datsephardicboi9358]

this guy reminds me of the old adage "a good person doesn't feel the need to tell everyone what a good person they are". I dunno, I'm sure he's a perfectly nice guy, he just seems a bot too eager to show everyone what a great boyfriend he'd be...

[@imdad4252]

I agree

[@imdad4252]

His "sweetness" is like artificial processed sugar.

[@rumis.dollsss.15]

I think this is so famous because of how normalised toxic relationships are. It's the same thing as the romance genre. Most of the things there are easily doable but in a world where girl being more emotionally tasked in a hetero relationship is normal, the mutual affection in the genre seems like a fantasy.

[@lareinabrown]

Oh my god I’ve never thought of this. You might be onto something

[@rachelmcdonough1506]

why must you @ me like that!?

[@aubreyplazasuncle]

@@liamsteamwalsh8421nah. i think you feel personally attacked by some of the comments here

[@omeletteokks]

agreed!

[@99.butterflies]

@@Yggdrasil9872I cringe so hard looking back at when I thought Love Actually was romantic 😫 mans is straight up obsessed and still didn’t leave her alone after she married his best friend

[@Live_Laugh_Loathe]

Maybe the perfect boyfriend was the friends we made along the way

[@tireolive3180]

I decided to write this comment so your only replys wont be bots.

[@Live_Laugh_Loathe]

@@tireolive3180 thank u :)

[@faec0re]

ladies i have a serious question for you. is it weird to love your romantic partner? is it weird to want to treat your romantic partner like a romantic parter? idk, people always tell me its weird. so, is it?

[@anokat]

Yes

[@joyc.e.7511]

F**k, it might be

[@iamobsessedwithshadowsight]

As a woman, idk dude I think that’s kinda weird… /j

[@ssspottyyy]

Ew, that’s not normal. Please get help

[@rgs8970]

that was pretty serious

[@avxd7]

kurtis the song at the end. made me cry jovial tears. thank you

[@nataliewilliamson_media]

he says he’d do all these things for this girl. someone date him to see if he’s actually a man of his word.

[@bloblovlalalulu3422]

Yea ,I really wanna see a lady step up

[@JayV27]

Ain't nobody want his ass 💀

[@savannaho3664]

No you do it I'm scared

[@nataliewilliamson_media]

@@savannaho3664 not even for a million dollars

[@pissapocalypse]

I already have a boyfriend so I have an excuse to not do that lol

[@yawninglion1677]

These videos really are way funnier if you interpret them as him talking to every single girl. Like, yes, yes it would be weird if you made my voice your alarm, we don't know each other, why do you love me

[@LavroseRovender]

I love this

[@detectivedance]

would he make every single girl's voice his alarm, just all of them layered on top of each other ??

[@celestialshiii]

@@detectivedance just a cacophony of voices that he wakes up to every single morning . like just the voices of so many girls saying random shit all strewn together and he just wakes up smiling cause it's oh so romantic . truly serial killer behaviour 🤸🏻‍♀️

[@genevievesweir]

EXACTLY thats what i was thinking the whole time... like is he imagining his ideal girl or literally every girl that he doesn't know but could theoretically date...all at once??

[@beepbop1762]

Imagine if he made his alarm to be the voice of every single girl on the planet. He wakes up to hear what is basically a horrifying amalgamation of more than a billion voices, like those biblical angels saying B̴̦̎ͅȨ̴̜̫̟̰̻̠̯̈͑̍̈́̓͐͘ ̴̨̛̻͎͖͖̙̙̿̀̎͊̓̚Ņ̴͚͗͂̽̔͌̅͒Ó̴͎̪̥̐͊͂T̸̛̘͈̒́̈̃̎͘ ̴͈̞͖̀͝͠A̵͍̘̅͌͂͛̆̽F̷̮̯̝̩̻̟͑̍͆̀R̴̨̙̙͚͍̞͒̉̏̿̑̈̚ͅA̵̳̙͈͂̍̆͝Í̶̥̙̳͍̱͓̔͝D̵̡̨̮̱̤̫̞͆̄̈́̊́͌͗̇ͅ

[@jovanadjordjevic1709]

This might be a “quick video” cuz he’s on tour but I legitimately haven’t laughed this much in a long time

[@toaster400_]

Right??? Is it just me or have his vi os gotten even funnier lately? Like they jokes and punchlines in the skits & the bits are so cleanly well done

[@jovanadjordjevic1709]

@@toaster400_ YES

[@jaylen2638]

he was the senior who went up to the freshman girls talking about “where’s my hugggg? no hug today?”

[@fool9899]

11:30 how the freak did kurtis go from being a pick-me-boy to the joker so smoothly

[@kazuhaluvscara]

society

[@Treyman-yi7ei]

When you think about it they're one in the same

[@NJ-td6hx]

“But only if your skin is white” had me cackling

[@emilybennett7864]

He reminds me of this customer I have at work. Every time he comes in he says "Hey. Just got kind of a weird question..." And then proceeds to ask perfectly normal questions like "Do you happen to know when [video game] is coming out?" Or "Do you happen to know if you have a copy of [video game]?" One of my favourite customers lol

[@Purplesquigglystripe]

Aww sometimes you just gotta say something more rehearsed before you can get out the real question

[@Abby_Liu]

@@Purplesquigglystripe could just say 'I got a question' instead of 'I got a weird question'

[@kimberleya5408]

I feel like I’m someone who says ‘I have a weird question’ when I’m actually asking a normal question ahahah

[@AnSop]

Might have social anxiety

[@sianmilne4879]

@@Abby_Liu Yeah, definitely some self-esteem issues in my estimation, poor guy

[@those_aresomemadbeatsyo]

I will never be able to get over how Kurtis looks in the thumbnail, how is no one pointing this out. I'm scared and I can't tell if it's photoshopped or smth. I'm actually genuinely afraid.

[@notaddie2287]

it’s scary

[@ReiAnikaAyanami]

it's definitely photoshopped or has those smile filters on it

[@lizoliver3021]

i think it's faceapp

[@prosistutesandlesbians]

THSNK YOU IVE BEEN LOOKING IN THE COMMENTS SEARCHING FOR SOMEONE TO BRING THIS UP