I Gave My Boyfriend an Ultimatum (Still No Ring!)

[@rpbbabb1673]

Never ever beg a man to marry you.

[@mrs.americanpie2079]

Not eva.

[@alwaysyouramanda]

You are the source, ladies. You multiply all of his efforts, be sure he deserves that magic

[@Mushroom321-]

Right !!😮😮

[@illpegyourdad973]

And thats all thats gotta be said

[@azeemahnakhoda1869]

Although I agree with the sentiment. In this video it’s the opposite, she’s literally using marriage to get away from him

[@sw6118]

His advice to break up immediately is spot on.

[@bigbuzin555]

That’s horrible advice. She will soon see the grass isn’t greener for single mom with 2 kids.

[@sw6118]

@@bigbuzin555 She already IS a single mom with two kids and an additional adult dependent…

[@bigbuzin555]

@@sw6118 How is he a dependent if he works all the time and takes care of the kids. Stop justifying bullshit

[@commonsenseprevails1433]

​@@bigbuzin555 Well, he is living in her house, so...

[@bigbuzin555]

@@commonsenseprevails1433 Yup she’ll be a single mom with a house who doesn’t have a man

[@lindawilson4625]

Never issue a threat or an ultimatum unless you are 100% prepared to carry it out. Never bluff.

[@sonjamiller8266]

100%

[@MineMeMineMeMineMe]

she already has kids from two different men.. men are hesitant to marry those women; even f they do.. they will walk away. everybody wants to see what is best for them? everybody wants to capitalize.

[@alwaysyouramanda]

She’s a young woman.. she probably means it 🤭 and he’ll be in a home by 65. It’s a male* loneliness epidemic because those kids never see their fathers (big strong men? They can see their kids if they want to.)

[@peachesandpoets]

​@@MineMeMineMeMineMethen he should leave. He is wasting her life with lies and future faking.

[@actingmajor8473]

💯

[@martinalbert29]

The sad thing is if you leave him he will marry the next girl he dates within months

[@karengodfrey290]

This literally happened to me when I was in my 20s.

[@baileyb8619]

Yes! It happened tome. What is that about?

[@Ana-jf1ch]

Same with me ​@@karengodfrey290

[@actual_doge3221]

A power flex? I've never had that experience but that's what it sounds like to me..​@@baileyb8619

[@lucypembroke3574]

So what???

[@szarahsshow5321]

I love that he’s not attacking her, but rather talking her thru a logical & healthy thought process.

[@rvog6584]

That's how John rolls. (!!)

[@hollyobrien4665]

That call probably resonates with so many women out there. It sure did with me! 20000%.

[@TeqTony]

Never let a man tell you he doesn’t want you more than once -Judge Lynn toler

[@GriBlanco]

I thought it was Steve Harvey who said that. But either way, I agree with the quote.

[@valbailey5983]

​@GriBlanco It was Judge Lynn Toler. She said her grandmother told her this. I believe when Steve said it, he gave credit to Judge Toler.

[@Mewa-tv6qc]

Too redundant, I’ve seen this quote too many times, find a new one

[@zammymynakersnackstbmoth]

​@valbailey5Her grandmother wasnt the first to say it. Its a common phrase. 983

[@SasaSasa-wy9wu]

@@Mewa-tv6qcn it still holds truth so what

[@juanrocha8544]

We don’t need ultimatums. Either we want to marry you or we don’t. If you have to give him an ultimatum, there’s your answer.

[@animatedaries6806]

Exactly!

[@whitneyw.7919]

Thank you for this comment. People need to hear the truth.

[@sherriewoods8015]

If he doesn't want to be with her, then why is he with her? If he doesn't need an ultimatum and either he will marry her or not, he is still with her.

[@ST-rj8iu]

@@sherriewoods8015 because she provides other services. Cooking, cleaning, and seggss. She is not his ideal partner or he just doesn't want marriage. He also needs her to split the bills.

[@DarthFurie]

​@sherriewoods8015 I say this with all due respect, your comment reflects a very naïve mindset that a lot of women have. Men will stay with a woman they don't truly love or plan to be with long term because it's convenient and easy. The relationship is a placeholder until he finds a woman he wants to genuinely commit to. The girlfriend is "good enough for now" but not "the one"

[@Ryan-wx1bi]

If he wants to marry you, he will ask. Its that simple.

[@greenAbbot]

Different people take different amounts of time, but it sounds like this relationship exists only in her head.

[@Ryan-wx1bi]

@@greenAbbot my question is, if you're someone who doesn't feel they are ready for marriage, why even date? I know some people take more time, but if you're 5 years in and still going "I don't know if I'm ready for marriage yet" you shouldn't have even been dating

[@sherriewoods8015]

@@Ryan-wx1bi Well said. This guy has no business with this girl if he has no intention of every marrying her.

[@peekaboots01]

​@@Ryan-wx1bimen date for sex.

[@Jkaye13]

@@sherriewoods8015 It would seem that he's just in it for the financial convenience, and that they are more roommates in his mind..

[@Keasha274]

Every man I have ever asked the question has told me they knew whether or not they wanted to marry a woman within the first year, and if they didn't know it was because they didn't want the responsibility of marriage and family at that point at all. Ladies don't let anyone waste your time.

[@supernotnatural]

If he is not marrying her ,he is doing her a favour, not wasting her time. If he gets alon with her, he will cheat

[@theman25040]

My husband, told me that the first time he saw me, he was going to marry me. I thought he was weird, but God had other plans…I got to know him for 3 yrs, before I agree to marry him. It’s been 23 yrs married and I am so grateful for a loving husband that God blesses me with him.

[@Suzoebas]

Same here. Men will make things happen when they want to be with her. Statistically, if you move in together before marriage it is likely that it won’t last, so it prob better to remain in your own place, and independent until commitment.

[@lifeaccordingtotheo9643]

He will propose when he knows hes getting kicked out. He WILL say I will do anything. And it wont last. Do NOT marry him or he will get half the house.

[@kathyaakananabluebird]

I wonder if he has a job and pays half the mortgage? No body said....

[@firefly9838]

If he wanted the house why not get married already

[@JudithLawrence718]

In SC once you live with someone for 27 days, they are legally automatically to inherit half of everything.

[@Kittycakes22]

He’s a hobo sexual

[@seekingserenity1902]

😮​@@JudithLawrence718

[@coolaunt516]

Marriage is the seal of approval for whatever behavior is already present. When a man knows he wants to marry you, he won't need an ultimatum.

[@em77775]

Yes. And if there are things going on now that you aren't happy with, it will only get exponentially worse after marrying.

[@joesillamanrs7189]

This.

[@greenAbbot]

Well said. This is the exact opposite of the “why buy the cow when you get the milk for free” nonsense. As a man I can tell you that a marriage is great when you get married not to get something you can’t have, but to keep having something wonderful for the rest of your life.

[@hunterkaroffa1]

I've never heard anything so accurate in this regard. Thank you 🙌

[@Mushroom321-]

Right !!, exactly!! 😲🙋🏾‍♀️

[@larissaherbert3559]

Make no mistake, when a man wants to marry you, it will be clear as day and there’s no mountain he wouldn’t climb to make this a reality.

[@rachelsmachel6303]

The “leaving like your dad did” comment….Brutal.

[@mariac2472]

It’s been EIGHT YEARS for us and we’re 65!! I’ve been bringing up marriage for years and then all of a sudden I wondered why in the world I’m doing that. HE should be coming to ME if he doesn’t want to lose me! I’ve come to the conclusion he has no intentions of marrying me. I’m moving on. Just wish I didn’t take so long to realize it. And I totally agree with what you say! I don’t want a man that I had to talk into marrying me. For the reasons that you mentioned about it being brought up later on.

[@DiraMcClintock]

Why do you want to get married ? Many people our age don’t want another marriage. We are settled in our lives and all have baggage. Maybe being companions and lovers is enough for him

[@djlivvy46]

​@@DiraMcClintock- there are many legal components to marriage. Many women have lost their homes, not been allowed to make medical decisions for their partners and even been kept away from funerals because they weren't married. If you're not going to get married, then you have to make sure that there are legal documents in place for everything including life insurance and wills.

[@boston312]

marriage in America is a business nowadays. Your boyfriend probably doesnt want the divorce lawyers nor state in his personal finances. It doesnt necessarily mean he doesnt love you or despite you. He just might want a simple life.

[@rarebird_82]

Seems a bit pointless when youre out of your childbaring years, its literally just a bit of paper to lay claim to the inheritance at this point. Bin it off, a 65yo in a wedding dress is just odd 🗑

[@djlivvy46]

@@rarebird_82 - definitely not 'just a bit of paper' for women.

[@alluringbliss4165]

She bought the house and he is living with her. Big Red flag

[@okaycola2]

Moocher

[@MikeBarbarossa]

@@okaycola2 not sure how he's a "moocher" if the title is in her name. Highly likely he is paying the bulk of the incoming bills If, by chance he's not , then he's a moocher. But she said he's focusing on career, so highly unlikely

[@Britty0189]

@@MikeBarbarossafocusing on his career could also be a way or avoiding her and not being home to babysit kids that aren’t his.

[@arfriedman4577]

She sold the home she had to move to another place and I think its the guys home she's in.

[@amilllion1]

@@arfriedman4577Nope looks like she sold her home, moved and bought again only for him to live in her place, which is crazy 😜

[@mistermanman]

If a man doesn't want to lose you, he'll do whatever he can to keep you around. The caller gave him a boundary which he's not choosing to respect. Time to end it.

[@xsgtxbigboy1655]

Lolll dumb comment

[@terriesmith2616]

Men know right away if he wants to marry a certain women or not, the fact that they've been together for five years and he hasn't ask her to marry, should tell her he's not going to marry her. Giving him an ultimatum is not going to change his decision. She's desperate to stay with a man for so long while her goal was marriage and his goal was just to date. Even if her ultimatum worked and he married her, it still wasn't his choice because she forced his hand.

[@Mila-Believer-wife-mamaof3-RN]

@@terriesmith2616sometimes they even marry them and continue to ignore and the affair role in.

[@BlackRedneck1]

@@nomadmgtow Finally some sound logic!

[@diggernash1]

I'm sure a single mother from the streets has other men lined up to marry her...

[@YanitedBT]

it baffles me people see marriage as a solution, in a relationship thats already not working and she obviously resents. This is why the divorce rate is so high. Put on the adult pants and make the right choice !

[@cynthianolder3557]

Here's the bottom line-Unless it's for legal purposes (green card, etc.), why do you need to get married in the first place? & this is a FEMALE thing! You know, if you love me, you'll put a ring on it. Signing a contract doesn't make love any more real. If real love is there, be content

[@samanthayates8812]

​@@cynthianolder3557If not making children, why have s€x with men anyway?

[@DragonBoatKerry]

Why do people need/want marriage? Insurance (both health and if your partner dies/becomes disabled), social security be benefits for both herself and her children), right to make medical decisions on behalf of your partner if they can't, psychological benefits of commitment making the relationship stronger, and just as important, it's what she wants and its important to her, and if it's so important to her, he needs to take that step - assuming he wants to to -because it benefits both of them and makes their relationship stronger and better. If he isn't interested in having a strong, committed relationship, he will let it go and she will know what the situation is.

[@samanthayates8812]

@DragonBoatKerry don't waste knowledge on fools. There are many financial and social benefits in marriage. Anyone who is still asking this question is deff doesn't have a high paying job where you need to be married to get a promotion and hangout in certain clubs, access to better rooms and resources

[@---pu7ke]

@@cynthianolder3557As a woman marriage is more than a contract for me tho. It’s much more about the vows imo. It’s when you decide to commit your romantic life to this person and be partners for good. Dating is where you get to know the person and figure out if this is the person you want to live your life with. (If there wasn’t a legal binding to it I would want still want a social ceremony, vows, etc. to make things official for us and where our relationship stands) (Although yes there are economic benefits etc.)

[@pakilee87]

Girl 5 years? You gave him 5 years!? If a guy hasn't proposed to you after that long he doesn't want to marry you. When a guy I was dating expressed hesitation in marriage because of his own trust issues from previous relationships and a marriage. I knew I couldn't change his mind so I decided to end things. Way too many women think they can a convince a man to marry them if they give him enough time.

[@ladysensei1487]

What did he say in response? Did he understand why you broke up?

[@gotnoname3956]

Bullshit. I know people being together for over 10 years until they married. My wife and me were together for 6 years until we married. If you know your partner and your genuine together, marriage does not change anything about your relationship. And honestly: Ask for yourself if you can’t wait for a proposal. Then you will get a clear answer. However, my wife and I spoke about marriage, expactations about children and so on waaay before I proposed. Most people do not even speak about essential stuff for years (baffles me everytime when I hear such stories).

[@katelyn9677]

There are a lot of healthy couples who wait a long time to get married, either because they started dating young or had other priorities and weren't on a rush. But they are usually on the same page about these things.

[@wendybryan6071]

And you didn't hear the other side of those stories, did you? Emotional baggage can be dealt with in therapy. Don't make it your responsibility.

[@Joe-iq1bu]

Folks don’t ever listen to the least married demographic of women. Their own men don’t want them

[@OopThereItIs77777]

We dated for 4 months & one day in the car, at a light, I looked at him and said “are we gonna get married one day or not?” with a cheeky little laugh. He said “of course. When’s the date?” We both just knew. He had a ring the following week & Had a beautiful little backyard wedding 2 months later ❤ If a man knows, he knows, and he’ll make it happen.

[@godpilled9077]

You ask him to marry you lol

[@VeganPrepper]

@@godpilled9077 It worked out really well lol

[@GhislaineMutombo]

Now I want to read more from this novel 🥰

[@terriesmith2616]

Exactly 💯💯💯 A man knows right away if he wants to marry you or not, you don't have to force him or give him an ultimatum. If you have to force his hand, or give him an ultimatum, then you already know he's not the one for you.

[@kingasif9265]

Only 4 months! What a simp 😂

[@DarthFurie]

It doesn't take a man years to figure out if he wants to marry you. If he's wasting your time, you're not the love of his life. You're not the one, move on so you can be happy

[@greenAbbot]

It took me years. I knew the good things were great, but we needed to figure out if we could fix the problems. And we did. It took five years, but since then I’ve never had a second thought, cold feet, or regret. Thank you so much sweetie for giving me the time I needed.

[@diggyrat]

I hate this saying, but it's like beating a dead horse🤷‍♀️

[@YoSuhDude]

Dude that’s such bullshit, I have lived with my woman for 3 years. Right now it’s just not financially responsible or feasible, we know we are committed to one another. The day will come where we tie the knot, but until we get ourselves ahead it just isn’t in the cards. Has absolutely nothing to do with our love or commitment. Such an ignorant comment

[@Spookyaki1]

Marriage is a legal contract. “Love of your life.” You watch too many romance movies 😅

[@dianecarman1979]

She has two illegitimate children? She's messy

[@KiLovely]

She resents him for a choice she made to sell her house to move closer to a dude she wasn't married to in the first place. She moved to a whole new state for this guy and he's not even into her enough to take her out or have sex. This poor woman. She didn't need an ultimatum to break up with him, she should just do it especially because she has the security of owning this new house and the financial position to kick him out. Be done with it!

[@FrankS111]

Her choices in life have led to this. She’s a single mom of two with two different fathers. Her options are VERY limited and odds are those who would marry her she will not want so that’s it 🤷‍♂️

[@alluringbliss4165]

Maybe she can’t be without a man and was looking for a father to her kids.

[@Mr.Boring_Man]

​@@FrankS111 - Exactly!!!

[@CrystalM1917]

I'd rather be a single mom than playing wifey to someone who doesn't want to make a commitment

[@liz-vr2gz]

@FrankS111 There are single dads out there who may be a better fit for her. With that being said, she will be better off when she learns to love herself and live happily alone. It will take time. Being a single parent is difficult, but choosing someone out of desperation makes life much worse.

[@SM-ic9xy]

Her desire for not wanting to be alone is clearly genuine. I feel sad for her. She needs different picking criteria

[@YoSuhDude]

She needs to take responsibility for her life instead of pawning her problems on other men and then making them deal with her problems(kids, bills, etc)

[@michaelmitchel3471]

Her criteria will always be "somebody. So I'm not single"

[@bellablow4287]

@@YoSuhDudeshe owns the house & he's living in it

[@anndeecosita3586]

Man or woman, I don’t think you should allow someone you are not married to to live with you and your kids. I was in a relationship with a guy with children. He asked me to move in and I said no. I also refused to stay over when they were with him. Eventually I realized I was unhappy in the relationship and flat out told him I was never going to marry him. Yes he asked. It’s was just hard to completely break it off because the kids had started calling me mommy although I discouraged this. It’s very cruel to children when they develop attachments to whoever you are with.

[@GAFB1122]

Lot of people giving this girl a hard time. I get it, she's got two kids to two different men. But did you all make it toward the end of the call or stop early. She has a job, makes good money and IT IS HER HOUSE!! Throw the free loader out and make better decisions when it comes to men in the future. Oh and birth control is real 😉👍

[@miketheyunggod2534]

Her kids are still messed up.

[@terriesmith2616]

No high value men want to marry a single mother with two kids by two different men. The only men who will want to be with her are freeloader losers because she can't attract a high value man. Good high value men don't want to have to deal with two different baby daddies.

[@briskettacos]

Older men prey on näive young women tell them what they desperately want to hear. I wonder if the children had older fathers.

[@deirdrekiely6187]

She needs to stop uprooting her life or home for men who won't marry her. Stupid decision-making and poor emotional intelligence.

[@teem3249]

@@miketheyunggod2534iupu

[@LaKishaWilson-qd9gy]

It took my now ex-husband 8 years to propose. Wish I would have broke it off instead of prolonging the process. However, I am forever grateful for our amazing daughter.

[@greenAbbot]

It took me six years to propose. But the marriage just kept getting better and better…

[@natashadame4397]

@@greenAbbot care to share why it took you that long?

[@aprilchow-chee5281]

​@@greenAbbot😮

[@LeticiaMichelle93]

​@greenAbbot how is things getting better and better? And if you don't mind sharing your story please

[@herefortheshrimp1469]

@@greenAbbot Did you ever apologize for waiting that long and the confusing pain that probably caused her?

[@judekiv]

I think the situation of having 2 kids with 2 other men (one where the father isn't even in the picture) while wanting to marry a third proves this lady may not have the best skills of judging someone's character. Not trying to be mean but she needs a lot before she's ready for marriage herself.

[@MrMistajone]

FACTS

[@Alvin-xs7db]

Well that is true..

[@molly5262]

Exactly! Best statement!!

[@liz-vr2gz]

She should not have moved a guy in her house. No single mom should. The kids get attached to a man who may not be there for the long term.

[@jackcoleman5955]

Agreed!! The ‘ultimatum’ is the least of her problems. Let this guy go and figure himself out. Then, get a babysitter one weekend, sleep in, get a cup of coffee and decide how to make better decision in the next 5 years.

[@thecarouselpitch]

🗣️Girl he’s using youuuuu. Your kids will be so happy to live with a happy mom and he has no claim on custody, you’re SET being single will feel so good.

[@michaelmitchel3471]

Is she unhappy in general, or just for her relationship?

[@lisajoplin6415]

No, I would say she's has been using him to be a father to her kids, and for financial reasons

[@truebengalsfan]

@@lisajoplin6415women think is a honor for another man to take care of their kids

[@iati6294]

Yeah hopefully she brakes up with that guy so he can upgrade and get a young childless women

[@d05wtt]

No. Just no.

[@Lil-Whiskies]

The only good thing about this deal is she didn't have another kid with this man.

[@liveloveresell2886]

Don’t give them everything and then demand a stronger commitment. They already have what they want and you don’t. Relationships need to be equal and on the same path you both want

[@miltoncat]

Girl, he is not interested in marrying you. Cut your losses and move on.

[@miketheyunggod2534]

He would have dodged a bullet.

[@jeromehenry4484]

Ladies, please listen all the way to the end of this video, there are a few unexpected twists. Caller's live-in BF is a quasi-hobo-sexual. He has a career path (so does caller) and he uses that as an excuse to stay-put at caller's house (yes, caller is the homeowner in this relationship, not BF) even though relationship (dating/sex/affection) died on the vine around 2 years ago. He does minimum to play father-figure role in her household. Caller failed to realize BF is not only using her for shelter, but also for social status. However, it's apparent caller is not his "dream girl", but he will squat in caller's house & caller's family life until he can level up in a personal relationship that will also make him look better in his professional circle. As soon as he finds his dream girl, he will dump caller/family, probably no explanation will be given. Just because a guy is not broke/unemployed, is in fact a professional, that doesn't mean he isn't a hobo-sexual. Highly likely BF has been stacking his finances at caller's expense. Watch out for these guys! Best to never let a man live with you unless you are legally married.

[@sarahjaynescott545]

BOOM

[@shannonrose4916]

At this point, he's just a Hobo and no sexual.

[@MikeBarbarossa]

You're making a wild ( and likely untrue) assumption he isn't paying most, if not all the bills. He's likely paying mortgage, bills, whole family's cell phone bills, etc .She said he's focused on his career. She also aired all her grevances and not pulling his weight was not included You ladies HARPING on the fact she has the home title (for whatever reason that is) as a reason he's " a mooch" and "using her for a roof over head" " line -in BF" and "hobo" riddled throughout the comment section is baffling.

[@jeromehenry4484]

@@MikeBarbarossa Please provide minute-mark where caller states BF is paying those specific bills you enumerated in your reply. Thanks.

[@sarahjaynescott545]

Mike, we all know what is going on here. He is using her to get his finances up, and then will marry the woman he really wants. Its not rocket science. She needs to kick him out today. @@MikeBarbarossa

[@halesrerouted]

I had 2 partners like this. First one I met at 19, was with for 4 and he got tangled in an arranged marriage. The other I met at 24, was with for 3 years and I ended it because I couldn’t stand to be with someone who constantly made excuses to not work on themselves - highly emotional, constantly the victim. Now at nearly 29, learning more about myself, I met my soulmate and we are planning to get married. We both knew it 2 weeks in. If you’re not in the same page after a year, move on. It’s not worth it, your person is out there.

[@peekaboots01]

Not my person.

[@erin22222]

Thanks, your comment gives me hope. I just got out of a relationship like the one you’re describing having at 24. Mine lasted 3 years as well. I’m single now and working on myself. 😊

[@liz090833]

This unexpectedly hit me in the feels. It's sad when love dies.

[@LOLZHAHANOTFUNNY]

My husband asked his mother for her diamond 12 months after we were introduced by a mutual friend. All our friends couldn't believe we had even waited that long. It was so clear we both had found exactly who we'd always dreamed of. I hope for something just as wonderful for every single person I care about.

[@greenAbbot]

I’m glad you’re happy, but I’m not sure that that’s relevant for the caller.

[@thejuliasaro]

@@greenAbbot exactly

[@Mr_Gabbles]

⁠@@greenAbbotit’s relevant because it demonstrates how men will act when they actually want to marry you

[@geo865833]

You are one of the elite 1% who are lucky enough to experience that. I hope you realize it.

[@ourhomeiscool]

@@greenAbbot Allow me to interpret it for you: when a man wants to marry you , he will. There is no need to force anything.

[@saltandpepperandmint]

Having to beg for the ring is so heartbreaking. No good man would ever let you question anything

[@biffm.2806]

Not true. I basically begged my husband for marriage. We had a history that did give him some reservations. 10 years of marriage (together 17 total), and 5 kids later our relationship is better than ever.

[@saltandpepperandmint]

@@biffm.2806 did you do something to make him unsure of you? Then of course but that’s on you then and not him and that is not what I’m talking about

[@shimmeringchimps3842]

​@@biffm.2806Is that what you would advise your daughter, sister, or best friend to do? "Beg for marriage"? There are exceptions to every rule but it's not solid advice for the majority of women.

[@YellowStarrx3]

Mmm no ​@biffm.2806

[@biffm.2806]

@@shimmeringchimps3842 depends on the relationship. The caller definitely is wasting her time with the guy she’s with. I wasn’t wasting my time and it worked out. I also never said I would advise it. I was just saying the original comment isn’t always true.

[@jermainebennett7473]

He may love you. He just doesn’t see you as his wife. Move on and don’t force it

[@ThingsILove2266]

I love this perspective- I hope they pin your comment.

[@miketheyunggod2534]

She’s broken.

[@111111c]

When my Girlfriend gave me an ultimantum it made me sit down and really think. I told her I felt that merriage counseling would help us discuss things I felt we would need to move forward. I did love her, and im glad we did the counseling because I was able to learn so much about her and myself. Long story short, Married coming on 4 years and I am so happy that we Married. Looking back now I was a man child and my Wife knew I had so much potential as a man and her husband. Marriage will NOT make her happy, but stepping up everyday as a partner definetly will. I understand we are the exception and not the rule

[@amendaalmonte2236]

It’s hard to walk away after five years but I promise you after the year of grieving life will be way better than what it’ll be if she married him

[@oilnurturelady2347]

You deserve better than a "lukewarm" relationship. Don't ever let yourself be treated like an after thought! He's not doing you any favors when he's 'playing house.' You can hire out for household repairs! You need a loving partner, not a platonic roomate!

[@boston312]

She already picked two losers for her previous baby daddies. What childless man in his right man would want to take on her baggage?

[@geometerfpv2804]

Eh...even after you had a child out of wedlock with a deadbeat dad? ...there's a certain point where you have to start to compromise. She said he was a great dad. That's more than she deserves. She should count her blessings. I'd believe one bad man, but 3? Two that you had *kids* with? Come on, this is not a sober and sane person. She's not gonna land a really nice guy, no well-positioned guy is signing up for the this situation. She's gonna get a guy that is in a compromised situation...just like her. That's how it works. People can be so unrealistic. Asking a man to love another man's child is a biiiiiiiig ask... Then what, the new guy has another kid with her? So she can have 3 kids from 3 dads? TF is this lol. She is the common denominator in these terrible situations.

[@sweetyface4672]

Excellent advice! You helped her look at her situation realistically. I think we always KNOW the answer within ourselves, but fear and the anxiety of being alone and starting over makes us stay!

[@caramelese8520]

No one is perfect. I believe she might have issues but saying that she deserves less than a great dad is crazy. She can get over her issues with therapy. She can't keep living with someone who doesn't value her. If he feels that way then he should leave. She didn't kill anybody or steal from anybody. Your take is so unfair ​@@geometerfpv2804

[@lacouerfairy]

Does she? She seems like an idiot at best.

[@Apostylicpoet]

Like Dr John basically said, a marriage ultimatum is a bad idea because you will always question your value in the relationship. Shucks, having to give a man a deadline already means you don't know where you stand with him. I've learned to be direct and ask what do you want? If his actions contradict his words, I point it out and let him correct it. We don't want to, but you have to teach people how to treat you sometimes because they've never been challenged to do so in other relationships. If a man course corrects, that's a good sign. But if he keeps doing whatever he wants, he's not willing to change and you just have to accept it and leave.

[@boxesbinslidsllc]

If a man wants to marry you, he will. Personally five years is too long. Giving him a ultimatum to marry you is crazy. Just move on. Never beg someone to love you, the right man will see and know your value instead of keeping you as a backup option. Sounds like he's in it for a secure roof over his head. Wait for the man that will love you and your babies like they're his own.

[@Jkaye13]

And she's in it for a sit-in daddy for her kids, not a husband.. with two kids in tow, she's not likely to find a man to take on that baggage.. js. That's why she's been afraid to let him go, even though deep down she knows he's not good husband material.. she knows it will be devastating on her kids to get rid of the only dad figure they have.. and she so desperately wants to be a 'family'

[@franciscotabarus5742]

Them shes more into him that he is into her

[@truebengalsfan]

Why get married on bad terms

[@kristinrichmond8185]

They should have never moved in together. Move in AFTER you are married.

[@lucialuciferion6720]

Better yet, don't get married or live together, it's pointless.

[@RavenVapor873]

@kristinrichmond8185 that's a pretty hard core suggestion. Living together before considering marriage is much less complicated. She has to make it clear that she is the owner of the house. He's been given the privilege to live there too. But he has no rights to it. It's done all the time when the man owns the house.

[@kristinrichmond8185]

@@RavenVapor873 I get that it’s commonplace for people to move I together before they are married. This didn’t used to be the case. It used to be be, marriage first, then cohabitation. I could be wrong, but I think there is a correlation between marriage first, and marriages lasting. I bet there is a statistic proving that to be true.

[@Daily_Bread84]

Everyone I know who has lived together before marriage had more complications than those who married first. Sadly the divorce rate is higher for couples who lived together first. And this call is a great example of that.

[@annielovesvintage]

@@Daily_Bread84I wonder if the reason for this is that couples who marry and then live together are more likely to be religious and therefore less likely to divorce? I have heard this and I believe it but I don’t necessarily think the two things are directly related.

[@sarahw.mcelyea5655]

John is so compassionate. I could listen to him all day!!!

[@mustangthings]

Ultimatums are the start of every successful marriage.

[@fire12731]

Are you kidding?

[@knightfox4121]

Lmao

[@jaybah836]

Says no one ever

[@carnivoreRon]

Not. Lol

[@mustangthings]

@@fire12731 Yes. Are you that dense?

[@em77775]

"I've got priorities right now that are not you." Exactly. You get him to marry you and then he'll constantly treat you like that in the marriage. You really don't want that. Break up, move on and don't look back. A man needs to choose you or you will always feel like you can't get him to commit enough to you.

[@melissab3217]

As hard as it is to hear, if they're already in a bad place, marriage will just make things worse. There are plenty of guys who just won't commit, but with this situation, it seems like there are good reasons why. My sister dated a guy for 6 years and tried to force a commitment that never happened. They broke up, and she's now with someone better. The caller should take a step back from the relationship and focus on the kids instead. If he doesn't chase her, she has her clarity to move on.

[@joeriveracomedy]

Her exes had kids with her and didn't commit. Why should this guy?

[@stevezelaznik5872]

“Leave and see if he’ll chase you” is also terrible advice. You’ll lose the men that respect your boundaries and attract the ones who cross them.

[@melissab3217]

@@stevezelaznik5872 I don't mean actually leave. I mean stop centering the relationship and see if he even cares. Because it seems like he's checked out.

[@DragonBoatKerry]

Focus on HERSELF and her children.

[@jennifermiller5041]

Runnnn!!!! This was what my husband did as well, and after 22 years of marriage, he disposed of me, told lies, and turned people against me.

[@andrephillips7764]

I bet you didn’t do anything to cause tat relationship to end huh? 😒

[@jennifermiller5041]

@@andrephillips7764 Actually, no, he has an addiction. I'm not perfect, that's for sure.

[@cazmorgan2330]

19 years and counting. I’ve been lead to this video and even cried at how hard it hits home but I need to prepare for what I must do. Thank you so much for this.

[@jeantaeoneal]

All the best.

[@mollyhappymum4816]

Best wishes - you’re doing the right thing for you. We survivors know what we’re talking about so join the club and keep strong. 🇬🇧☘️🎉🎉🥰

[@gwenj5419]

If you've been dating for more than a year, unless there is a practical reason (need to finish school first) and there's no move toward marriage (and I don't mean shacking up) then break up.

[@chrissyellem7397]

Yes

[@adjectivenoun12]

Good point. I wish someone had spelled it out to me when I was young

[@greenAbbot]

I don’t know how you come up with that boundary, but my wife and I waited five years (including shacking up, which was a move toward marriage) and I’m really glad we waited.

[@gwenj5419]

@@greenAbbot Because? Statistically couples who live together before marriage are more likely to end in divorce. But this could be for other factors like the fact that those who don't live together before marriage are more likely to be religious. The idea that living together as a precursor or trial to marriage is a very new concept in human civilization.

[@kristalliiite6408]

I agree

[@AmandaErrrrr]

You got your answer. It sucks and it's hard, but take the time sink and go.

[@hommy1614]

So sad that the children have most likely bonded to this man who does not want to be their father. It would be better to be without him, than to try and make him

[@boston312]

That man isnt their father. They need to find and locate their biological fathers. This lady makes horrible choices when it comes to procreating

[@BillionaireForever]

It actually sounds like he does want to be involved with them, he’s just either not sure about marriage or her. I know of men who genuinely bonded and stayed in the lives of nonbiological kids from previous relationships. It’s extremely rare, but it does happen. Some men are mature enough to realize the emotional impact of them leaving the kids life. We of course don’t know these people but let’s hope he at least stays in touch!

[@merlion6613]

I remember my Uni bf begging me not to leave him after I told him I decided to do so. He offered to leave his high-pressure job (he was a year above me) to take me to a South Pacific island where I always wanted to go. He said he would do anything to be with me. This was after dating him for several years, secretly wishing he’d propose but never discussed the topic. I asked him if he ever wanted to marry me after I told him of my decision. He said he did but was afraid of not being able to make it happen. I left. I was heartbroken, but I know I did the right thing.

[@anastasia10017]

OMG - women, NEVER SELL YOUR HOUSE TO FOLLOW A MAN !!!! Even if he marries you, DO NOT SELL YOUR OWN PROPERTY.!!!!

[@wadejones2567]

Than stay single

[@anastasia10017]

​@@wadejones2567 Who would want to marry a man who can't spell ?

[@mikeshaw4610]

Sounds like they are good friends who happen to live together but not more. Getting married will not fix current issues.

[@PriestessHephzibah]

You are probably not right for each other, he knows that in his heart

[@theluckienurse]

People in the comments are focusing too much on shaming her for having two children with two different men. Yes, it’s an indication that she’s made poor choices in the past. But saying that he is too good for her simply because of that or that’s the reason why he won’t marry her doesn’t make sense- when he met her, she was in that situation and he willingly decided to attach his life to her and her kids. He’s been in the youngest child’s life for their entire life basically. Clearly, being with a single mom wasn’t the issue for him. They have no communication, no intimacy, and years of resentment. Those sound like the reasons why he doesn’t want to propose… And she probably doesn’t want to marry him either if she’s honest with herself… but at this point he is so intertwined in her children’s lives that breaking up with him would feel like breaking up her family. Something women usually don’t do lightly.

[@lee48lee68]

She should not live with a man she’s not married to. That was a big mistake.

[@theluckienurse]

@@lee48lee68 he’s living with her. It’s her house.

[@liz-vr2gz]

@@theluckienurseExactly. She needs to break things off and move him out.

[@lee48lee68]

@@theluckienurse -I got to that part. She has all the advantages but doesn’t seem to know it.

[@terriesmith2616]

​@@theluckienurse She moved HIM into her house. What single mother of young kids does that? Her poor choice in allowing him to live with her is on her. If her two kids get attached to him, that's on her too because she allowed a man who was not her husband to move in with her.

[@Lucy_0neL0ve]

This hit home. Move on girl. ❤there’s another worthy person out there.

[@frostnova2144]

*"I'm giving you a high five for the courage to say that out loud"* This is as far as this nice man would ever go to avoid calling someone like this a dumbass

[@loliwelch9151]

Could you elaborate?

[@latonyahylton8690]

This young lady needs to get ready to leave this relationship and ask him to go peacefully or start the legal process to evict him. You should never make a man tell you more than once that he doesnt love you. He has shown by his actions that he doesnt want to be with her. She will be ok. But the best is yet to come for her!

[@jocelinyyy]

did she agree to move out of state with someone who wasn’t even her husband or even had proposed to her yet?? sold her house off too?! wow ….. just WOW

[@ThingsILove2266]

If he doesn’t have clarity in a year, move on. He should want to secure his place in your life. 5 years is someone playing with your expectations, youth and heart. Just say, “Next, please”.

[@RepentImmediately]

There is no such thing as securing a place in someone's life when divorce exists.

[@ThingsILove2266]

@@RepentImmediatelyPeople who intend to stay in your life long term will not treat you in a way that will make you think of ending the union.

[@michelejohnson6459]

Another year! Are you crazy? 🤪

[@leahsiblerud9537]

She sounds so emotionally intelligent but terrified to leave the security, albeit negative security, of the relationship she knows. I hope she finds her strength she possesses and fights for a better happiness for herself and her kids ❤️

[@suzziezhills]

My grandmother always said “ don’t ever have to get married” meaning pregnant because a man will resent you for it. She was wise.

[@suzziezhills]

@@clearsky4003 gotta laugh! You have to be a woman! Women hope sex will make men fall in love with them. Then they hope to change them. Men fall in love with a woman as she is. He doesn’t want to change her. Once you sleep with someone your relationship gets stuck there. If you wait till you truly know each other and want to commit to each other then you lay a firm foundation for your offspring. They see an example of love with their parents and have a foundation for their lives . Families are made on this foundation. Even if a man pays child support it doesn’t mean there’s a family for children. Dads matter! A LOT! Irreplaceable. I’m a woman but raised my son to know if you have a baby with a woman you don’t know then who will influence that child? I won’t argue about this. I did marry and create babies with the wrong man. I did also come from parents who were married 69 years. My dad never liked him. I tried to prove him wrong but he was right,

[@suzziezhills]

@@clearsky4003 the children are the ones who pay

[@gata1887]

When will we start realizing that ultimatums never work?!

[@melinda67]

Sometimes they do

[@callmecordelia7181]

It’s a boundary for yourself. If he doesn’t want to marry you, you know and you can move on.

[@1981lashlarue]

​@@callmecordelia7181I don't understand how that's a boundary. Besides, you don't need an ultimatum for that. Just straight communicate and ask..

[@terriesmith2616]

​@@callmecordelia7181 If it's a boundary for yourself, then it doesn't even need to be said out loud to the other person. Personal boundaries are private, there's no need to give ultimatum. Once your goal doesn't align and he crosses that boundary, you LEAVE, no ultimatum needed.

[@l-train7876]

They’re not supposed to “work”. They’re supposed to provide an either/or plan for whoever sets the ultimatum, but they must follow through.

[@ryancarmello_music]

Having only read the title so far, I would bet my life this girl is gonna get hit with a “behavior is a language”… and I can’t wait lol

[@ryancarmello_music]

Update, she did indeed ✔️

[@kimberlysoto5109]

😂😂😂

[@YasminMahnaz]

😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@genxx2724]

Living together is not an on-ramp to marriage.

[@joywebster2678]

Some couples make it. I watched my cousins son who was studying to be a chef, the low pay, slow climb, meet a dream girl for him, but her career? Bartender. They were very in love, it was so obvious. They moved in together quickly. ( we all were hesitant). As time went on they added 3 kids. I thought that's it for them. Well when he hot his first head chef job, he threw a wedding for his bride, and their daughters were their attendants. They are still very happy 20 yrs in. I'd not do it that order but they did, and it worked.

[@genxx2724]

@@joywebster2678 I’m glad they’re happy, but that scenario is quite disturbing to me. They cared about a fancy, expensive wedding more than they cared about their children being products of a marriage. Kids being attendants at their own parents’ nuptials is perverse, and I do not use the word as an insult. It’s like participating in one’s own conception. Impossible.

[@andromeda3780]

Most of the stories here starts with the person trying to explain what kind of problem they are facing. As the narrative progresses they turn out to be their own problem. This show helps me a lot to reflect on my own shortcomings. Dr. John is extremely quick wit and does great interacting with callers. The advices he gives are so sincere, wise, and on point.

[@yourhollywooddream]

I’m a single mom and what I’m hearing is she started to lean on his involvement in her kids’ lives. That’s common with single moms. If she moves on I’d suggest not to rely on a relationship to help raise your kids. It’s scary but if you own raising your kids on your own then you start attracting healthy relationships into your life

[@AnthonyMcNeil]

If you have to give someone an ultimatum, especially about marriage then its a sign to move on.

[@Chicky1234-m3f]

If a man wastes your fertile years he either doesn’t care or he doesn’t think about your situation enough to see what he is doing is wrong. Which also means he doesn’t care. It’s okay to love someone and then realise you cannot meet their needs but true love is letting that go. Keep in mind I’m not talking about couples who don’t want marriage or kids. But she clearly wants marriage he knows that and just doesn’t care.

[@MikeBarbarossa]

" wastes your fertile years" She has 2 kids from 2 different other men. Your comment makes no sense

[@texasdazzlers]

Why is the focus of this call not on these poor kiddos? When you have multiple children with different daddies and then bring an additional man into their lives AND their home with no marriage, no commitment, no nothing…is there any stability in these kids’ lives? Girl, get single and stay single. It’s over…he isn’t marrying you.

[@Zeneyez]

I knew a couple that were together since school, since they were 13. They got married at 25, so that’s 12yrs together. Split up 6mth later, got divorced. Both quickly got together with others, and both got married and had babies within about 3yrs.

[@becca53444]

This is why you never move in with a boyfriend before marriage. He has an easy out from ever fully committing because he gets all the perks of having a wife without having to sign the documents.

[@Claudia-lq3ns]

I disagree; I think it's wise to understand what it's like living with someone... for at least four seasons... before committing to a lifelong union. Same thing with $ex. I understand you're rational, tho. But, I lived with my husband for almost 4 years when *he* brought up marriage.

[@Claudia-lq3ns]

@@DuffyGabi Hi there. I think that non-married couples need to be very careful about combining any finances or investments, such as buying a house together. Unfortunately, I think too many people rush into that. When I was living with my SO's, I had no stake in their homes or the apartment. If I was going to be on the lease, it would only be me on the lease. I always thought about an exit plan just in case.

[@viannyp2028]

PERIOD. I always say this. If you already acting like a wife whihout the commitment of married, what incentive does he had to marry you in the first place?. They just gonna say why get marry if we are already practically married. Like, would you work any day in your life if you was getting money doing nothing?. No, no one would. Required marriage or at lrast engagrment because investing in a man

[@viannyp2028]

​@@Claudia-lq3nsYes i agree, is very important to live togheter before marriage to know more the dinamic now that you're gonna be togheter 24/7, but there's a lot of things you can know whithout living with them. I believe in at least engagement before moving in and live togheter 6 months to a year before getting married. The intetion has to be there. Many woman ended up being forever girlfriends and placeholders😢😢

[@Claudia-lq3ns]

@viannyp2028 Oh, girl, I agree, and I've seen it. Because men get a lot of benefit from cohabitation before marriage. Someone to split the bills, play wife by cooking and cleaning (usually), a warm body to sleep with at night... without feeling "trapped" by marriage or commitment to marry. These are the dudes to avoid. It's almost like they are waiting for something better or are just afraid to grow up (in a sense). Re: engagement before moving in: I would also not require the ring... but a committed date as well. Invites go out?? Good time to move in together. Still time to test the waters before walking down the isle. Re: living together before marriage: I've seen and experienced a whole different man once cohabitation began. I would rather know what's up before getting tangled in a marriage 😢 A little more about me: I'm 47 and on my second marriage. I actually wasn't looking to get married to my husband since I already went down that road. It was his second marriage, too, and he brought it up. I have to say that I really REALLY lucked out with my husband. We've been together for almost 12 years, and he has always treated me like a queen. Every gal should be loved like this ❤️

[@jackcoleman5955]

I’m not against ultimatums, per se. honesty and clearly communicating your desires and goals is healthy. But if man-boy doesn’t come back with hard answers within a week, best set him free to go find himself…

[@brightpage1020]

I had to listen to this 3 times. This girl was good. She was in a good place - that attracted him. And then she dumped it to be with him… and has been yanked on his chain ever since. Oaaauuughhhoh oh. This girl is mad at herself. She had her happy life and she risked it all - on this bet - on this guy. And he hasn’t come through with the promise he represented to her even if he never actually promised it himself. She was a grown up and took the risk to treat him like a husband even though he had not proposed. For her kids. Because he was good… To them… until he wasn’t very good to their mom anymore. And there she stayed, stuck… hoping and pretending. Not wanting to be the bad guy. Holy smokes years without a date or holding hands or connection?!! Jee whiz. There is no reward for him in marriage to her, he has already lost her. He lost her within a year of her moving for him without a ring. She just hasn’t left yet. Or kicked him out. Because he’s not like *that* bad. And hurting her kids with his absence would be. Aouhw, Momma. Momma… Let it go. It’s already gone. You can be like, “thanks I appreciate the opportunity to get to know you. You are such a special person and always will be to my kids for all you have done, for being there for them. That is not nuthin’, that is huge, but I need somebody both willing and able to commit to their mom with his whole heart, and if you’re not it, then we owe it to each other to end it here and say goodbye today. I love you enough to see that we just aren’t on the same page right now, and to let that be ok while wishing you the best in your future.”

[@NenaVA1]

Wait...so you're willing to manipulate the situation instead of being upfront with him and end it yourself...somethings gotta give chile

[@pegzpat]

If he wanted to, he would've done it already. A love forced is not worth having.

[@kieranm8844]

He’s a paycheck, comforter, a crutch to her. She’s now looking to justify her poor life decisions by blaming others.

[@razmiddle9410]

I find the rhetoric of "well you're not going anywhere" as why someone doesn't want to do something for someone else in a relationship to be disturbing - it's a line that Delony brings up a lot. But I don't do things for my husband while making the calculation of "is this something that will result in him making a credible threat to leave me," I do things for him because I love and want to care for him. If your only reason to not marry someone (or whatever the thing is) is "she won't leave me and I'm comfortable, and her suffering is not a deciding factor in what I choose to do," then that alone is a reason to rethink the relationship.

[@okaycola2]

Yep. Agreed.

[@LauraSnow-in3nx]

You had a house you owned, good schools for your kids & you were settled. Tell me again why you needed this guy?! Just leave him & stop bothering with relationships with men.

[@okaycola2]

Yep

[@pinacolada1393]

✅

[@MikeBarbarossa]

Women so often tell on themselves You're making the argument here that you think men are only good for utilitarian use

[@stephaniemarie3231]

BREAK UP!!!!! Broke up with my ex after 6 and a half years and it was the same crap over and over. He is TELLING you no by staying and never delivering. 9 months after meeting my now fiancé I was engaged! Was the best choice ever

[@tigermaple4883]

Fiancé sounds like a simp after vetting you for only 9 months 🤣

[@gillespaling7039]

​@@tigermaple4883You must be really slow minded if it takes you longer than 9 months to vet someone.

[@desdior1207]

@@tigermaple4883well maybe your grandfather and descendants are “simps” too

[@mattbackus]

This lady is a wreck. She is however, very honest. Time to forget about men and focus on parenting….

[@janetwarren3051]

She owns the house! You go girl!

[@joesillamanrs7189]

She’s afraid to be alone as a single mom with kids with different dads is why she’s keeping him. It’s going to be very difficult to find another guy willing to take that on.

[@boston312]

Sadly, Dr John sells these women a dream (im guessing the majoroty of his audience is female). Women need to hear from guys like Kevin Samuels (Rip) who would tell them that their value drops significantly as a single mother and as they age. They need to cash in on marriage (and divorce) when they are young and childless

[@sherriewoods8015]

God is in control of her life. If he wants her to have a man, she will have a man kids or not.

[@sherriewoods8015]

@@boston312 This is not a true statement. A woman's value is not based upon a boy's childish opinion. And what do these men have in their past that makes their value sustainable? There are men out there getting these women pregnant and then leaving them like a bunch a cockroaches so the cockroach exceeds in value over the woman and the child? In fact, they are priceless in the sight of God, and I would be mighty afraid to have such a haughty opinion when God is your Creator.

[@hillarybillary21]

@@boston312 and a man’s value declines with age as well. Are you a multi multi multi millionaire? Most men are not. Sit down.

[@AntiAshley]

@@sherriewoods8015God is not in control of her life- as we have free will.

[@JohnDoe-jc3cl]

If you push some one into something, it’s going to back fire. Sooner or later. Spend time on many double dates and privately ask for your friends personal opinion. They may show you some things you can’t see because you’re “ in love “ Ask your friends valued opinions. Don’t just spend all your time with just your girlfriend or boyfriend.

[@KENTUCKYUSA1]

"Your clock is ticking" doesn't really work if you already have 2 kids by 2 different men. It is time to toss the biological clock and this man aside and focus on the kids you already have brought into the world.

[@terriesmith2616]

​@@Austenfan177 Her actions say she's not traditional but she still wants the marriage, so he can help her pay the bills while also paying for her two kids from two different men.

[@sweetiespoon5150]

​@Austenfan177 It's her house. Dude needs to nut up & move out.

[@rachelmaddowswife8713]

@@Austenfan177 Maybe he doesn't want kids, he just wants the caller to continue being his sugar mama and live in the house she paid for. He doesn't want marriage, because that entails financial responsibility to her (and possibly to the kids if the idea is that he would adopt them). He isn't interested in that, this one sided relationship is working well for him.

[@boston312]

This comment has more sense and logic than anything Dr John tells her (snake oil). This lady needs to stop looking for romantic partners and focus on raising her kids

[@rachelmaddowswife8713]

@@boston312 True, but she says in the call that all he brings to the table is help raising the kids, they haven't had a romantic relationship in years. It's a hell of a lot easier raising kids with a partner than it is on your own. Settling for him would mean that she HAS stopped looking for romance and is exclusively prioritizing her kids. Honestly I know married people like this. They stopped having a relationship years ago and are just roommates who stay in the same home to raise the kids. One friend admitted to me that she'd leave her husband in a heartbeat if they could afford two homes.

[@tayden08]

If he wanted to, he would…my husband proposed after 3 months, married at 6 months. We’ll be celebrating 20 years of marriage in July 💕

[@kaiteeet7325]

How old were you guys when you met?

[@tayden08]

@@kaiteeet7325 19/22 when we met. 20/23 when we got married!

[@slimnaz00]

I did that to my ex of 6 years after he proposed to me 2 weeks in the relationship he wanted me back when I left, but I left and when I met my husband now within a few weeks he proposed one year later we married! Do not let a man lead a relationship ladies make marriage a requirement or move on!!! I’m telling you a man knows 6 months if he will marry you and if you wait for him to get financially stable able 3 years his not ready move on!

[@amydoran9987]

His actions unfortunately speak loudly. Five years is a long time to wait and partner with anyone who is not willing to commit. If he has not given her a ring by now, he probably won’t.

[@Julian-zc9vm]

“We’re not communicating and intimacy is out the window so I gave him an ultimatum to propose to me so that he says no and I can tell my friends that it’s his fault the relationship ended”.

[@JustBree716]

Crazy 😅 right!

[@middleagedcrazy5297]

Spot on

[@anndeecosita3586]

I don’t understand why marriage solves any problems. If anything it creates more because of the expense of divorce.

[@katydid917]

@@anndeecosita3586Clearly you’ve never looked up the facts on marriage. It helps men in particular to live longer, they make more money when they’re married (show me a politician that isn’t married), and there are social security benefits if your spouse dies that you’re not entitled to if you’re unmarried, etc.

[@MichelleyB-zk3eh]

It was 8 years later that my live in boyfriend asked mw to marry him. He later got angry with me when he said he only asked because he was so sure I would say no. Two days before the wedding it was called off. Now I'm having trouble getting baptized bc we live together. Finances keep us together. Just a sad vibe in the house now. He couldn't care less, happy the way things are. I never thought I would end up like this

[@boston312]

Why would you want to get the state involved in your financial affairs (marriage) especially in this chaotic economy? Also, the church is filled with pedophiles and sex deviants. Consider yourself lucky they wont baptize you.

[@Asapgross]

If your boyfriend isn’t talking about marriage within months don’t look forward to anything

[@IlIIIlllIlIlllI]

2 kids from 2 previous partners and now pressuring her current boyfriend with an ultimatum? I understand the boyfriend completely

[@YasminMahnaz]

The real question is.. how hell this woman with 2 kids from different men.. got the house.. please explain and if it was credit. Or daddy money or ex money... fishy😅

[@xsophia22x]

@@YasminMahnazI know 4 women who have houses without baby daddy money. It’s not that hard. I also know at least 10 women who are dollar millionaires. Once she gets rid of male parasite 🦠, her finances only go up

[@zumurudlilit]

@@YasminMahnazwell, maybe she is a good lawyer like my aunt? Who is now 83 and always provided for her kids, bought them flats and so on. In our capital city btw.

[@GitanAnimex]

The boyfriend that is living rent free in her house and doesn't want to marry her but he still doesnt break up with her yeah he js a hobosexual

[@boston312]

@@YasminMahnaz she divorce raped her previous husbands. This boyfriend is smart not to join the victimization crew

[@elyse443]

She has incredible self-awareness. Good for her!

[@ufchighlights1]

Or maybe lack of.

[@terriesmith2616]

More like lack of self awareness because she keeps staying with losers. Her actions don't match her words. She can say all the right things but she still stayed with him. By choosing to stay, that's her actions.

[@colbymann]

She doesn't seem bright to me to put up with this BS

[@tishanasimon7600]

Self awareness does not mean you choose to do the better you know. You can be a mess, know it and still go be messy.

[@boston312]

Incredible self awareness? Having 2 children from 2 different baby daddies sounds pretty dysfunctional to me

[@animatedaries6806]

I have never understood why people want to force someone else’s proposal on their timeline.

[@djlivvy46]

So many relationships seem to be predicated on the fact that women are afraid to be alone with themselves and would rather be alone with a partner.

[@rebeccaiop9061]

Truth!

[@rosebud040686]

100%. That’s why when men on the internet tell me I’m a loser for the fact I’m single, I think it could be worse.. I could be in a relationship where I’m not wanted

[@djlivvy46]

@@rosebud040686 - the fact that they try to bully us into relationships where they fully intend to abuse us is wild.

[@celestialbunny]

@@rosebud040686there's no reason to feel bad. i mean, this entire show is based off of people's relationship problems. then you have people in the comments sharing a similar experience. like is being committed even worth it ? idk 😭🥺

[@deekang6244]

Not true. I, really great by myself. I wanted a family. Not kids, a family. Meaning a husband and children. If he doesn’t want to, fine. But don’t drag it out then. Let me go find someone else who wants the same things.

[@Eric_Bassett]

She won’t do it, she’s afraid to be doing it on her own again. It’s not about the money, it’s about companionship. She doesn’t wanna be the old cat lady later in life.

[@marilynpeppers1356]

Fingers crossed you didn’t get tied up with the guy. You don’t want to be married to the wrong person when the right one comes along.🤞

[@henrie.c]

She needed to say that out loud to understand she will be ok as a single mom. The negativity came after she met him. ♥️ . I became a single mom of 4, one of my daughters is special needs…I struggled for a bit until I learned how to manage everything to my control and what I couldn’t control I left it in God’s hands. 🙌🏼