I Handed My Husband A Divorce Papers Over His Reddit Account And A Bag Of Chips r/Relationships

[@poetryqn]

Story 1: OP's husband is 15 years older and has already escalated to physical abuse when he ripped the Airpods out and destroyed them. PLEASE, OP, stop broadcasting your plans in advance and posting on your regular account. This could escalate VERY quickly into a life-threatening situation for OP. Get help - lawyer, therapist, women's shelter - ANYTHING to keep you safe and hidden.

[@marleneperry6972]

Please, do not forecast what you are going to do WHILE still in this abusive relationship....they can still hurt you. A friend kept her shit off social media Until her divorce was complete.😊

[@jerriewyatt905]

Story 2.. As long as OP’s not standing in the window showing off his junk , he’s not breaking the law.. are the neighbors just peeping Tom’s ? That is against the law… maybe plant some fast growing trees inside his property line to block each other’s view?

[@AngelaVEdwards]

That’s what I said yesterday when I saw this story. It’s not illegal in the US to walk around your house naked. Don’t look into other people’s windows and you won’t see stuff like that.

[@terramarini6880]

@@AngelaVEdwards Most definitely NOT public indecency to walk around your own home naked, now you don't get to holler about privacy but you can do it. Douche nozzle next door needs to block his family from viewing on his side if it's such an issue for him. And he lost any sympathy from me when he continued to complain even though shorts had been donned. Screw him, no one is obligated to be fully dressed in their own homes at all times. Neighbor dude needs to put up his own blinds and keep them drawn in the AM or put up his own window cling.

[@LadyPii]

​@@jerriewyatt905 if the guy flashes his morning wood to neighbour's kids, this could be a problem.

[@Mia-dt3gl]

OP: My boss was murdered by her husband. Husband: I’ll sure they’ll get through it. Seriously, WTF?! I’m so glad OP got away from him.

[@ToxicSunrise132]

It's triply creepy when you realize the creep's also a cop. So glad OP had the foresight to leave the state

[@Mia-dt3gl]

@@ToxicSunrise132 Since the stbx is a cop, I’m starting to wonder if he knew what happened to OP’s boss _before_ OP found out and just let her find out at work instead of breaking the news to her himself.

[@sonialinsey8083]

@cassie battaglia it actually makes more sense that way, he probably sees murders regularly. My husband is in medicine and stuff regarding health and the body that freaks me out doesn’t even register to him. Still think her husband is worth leaving, tho.

[@violette2139]

And he was also like I wonder what made him do that. As if there is anything that could justify killing your wife

[@JW-vd4il]

@@violette2139 That made my blood run cold! Then BOIL!!!

[@hothotheat3000]

To that girl in the bathroom, you’ll never know it but you saved a woman’s life with your kindness.

[@ZoeAlleyne]

I was so shocked about him saying "let's wish both of them luck and move on" that I had to rewind. Like... huh... is there another way "k wording her" could be interpreted? And then she confirmed it by calling her a dead lady. Floored.

[@liabowden8526]

Me too. I paused & wracked my brain fir what the heck k-worded could be if lady was viable enough to "wish well" may that man never get laid again (and thus never trapping another victim in his misogynistic web.

[@Sugar-Foot]

it's also a racial slur in countries outside the US, if you take the whole story that way, she's being super dramatic. if she actually said "k-worded" out loud, her husband is probably confused too, but she probably did mean dead.

[@GoldBlackLotus]

@@Sugar-Foot I can't even work out what racial slur your referring to is. Also obviously she didn't say k-worded out loud. People say that or unalived because otherwise your posts get removed, on youtube you can be demonitised.

[@WobblesandBean]

​@@GoldBlackLotus It rhymes with "sike"

[@Sugar-Foot]

@@WobblesandBean oh yeah there's that one, i was thinking of a different one mostly in South Africa that was heavily used during apartheid that's similar for the word for fermented milk.

[@cattyanamontes5724]

Smh. When she said “fellow officers” I wasn’t surprised. When I worked at a domestic violence safe house we had many perpetrators that were police.

[@KittenUndercover]

Fellow officers. Of course the guy is a cop. Cops make notoriously terrible partners.

[@WaitingxInxSilence]

My internal alarm went off when I heard that. It’s incredibly isolating knowing if she tried to reach out to authorities, it would be his friends.

[@Davtwan]

Ah yes, the career that has outdated training, poor regulations, and enables terrible behavior. Cops being good partners are the exception rather than the rule.

[@DerekScottBland]

@@WaitingxInxSilence - mine too. Such a quick mention that so many didn't catch, but I've known enough cops to know how terrible they are and how abusive they are, especially when they don't get their way.

[@erenssister.5535]

I made a right decision to never date cops or someone from the legal field. Cops have one of the highest rate of domestic abuse. I am glad of that decision. I have seen people who date cops getting their life crushed.

[@Azulakayes]

You can say that again.

[@precious_toebeans]

S1: buying the groper a drink after literally made me gasp. First op was absolutely groomed to accept this horrible behavior. This poor woman...

[@anotherone1532]

Wait she married a cop? She better leave the state

[@Sassy_Kat]

Right?! I couldn’t believe she hadn’t realized sooner that his abuse was escalating after he admitted to stalking her through his fellow officers. But, Mark didn’t mention or barely mentioned the argument that she told him she wasn’t ready for kids and he told her she wasn’t a “real woman” if she didn’t have a baby with him and threatened to get her pregnant against her will. That’s when she had started considering divorce. The guy was seriously psychotic and a creep that’s been hiding behind his badge and getting away with it.

[@HoodieHorizon]

“His fellow officers” there it is. Remember folks: a reported 40% of officers abuse their spouse

[@joan-mariacbrooks]

Mother finally learned this part; it took forcing her onto a plane to make her understand the danger she put herself and us in and to leave him.

[@youwereboringd59]

Folks should also remember that bestiality is a crime

[@l.b.9522]

@@youwereboringd59 wth lmao You! 🤣

[@lauraanderson8785]

I feel bad that OP's ex wouldn't even let her have a burger once in a while. That's so controlling 😔 It's such a small thing but it tells a lot that even the small things in her life were controlled by her husband

[@sonialinsey8083]

I know I’m big into fitness and staying thin but the reason I’m not eating burgers isn’t because someone told me to. That’s just too much in a relationship, you have to go get a treat sometimes.

[@TheFoodGuideOfL]

Unfortunately reminds me of my grandparents. Even when my grandma was sick, my grandpa tried to insist she stay on a "healthy" diet. That she wasn't eating. Which... Starvation isn't healthy! So we'd take her out to get food, or share meals with them that appealed to her I do think in our case it had good intentions behind it (he's a health nut that focuses on longevity, and holds himself to the same standards). But it was still controlling and abusive af

[@WobblesandBean]

​@@TheFoodGuideOfL No. Controlling what a woman eats never has good intentions behind it.

[@MONKEYDZETS]

@@WobblesandBean unless it’s doctor’s order and u do all the cooking

[@simonO712]

​@@WobblesandBean Why can't it? There are plenty of actions that are well intentioned but awful in every other way. "The road to hell is paved with good intentions" is a saying for a reason after all.

[@youarehere594]

last one, there's a film you can put on your windows to give you privacy but still have the view you want, we got it because our bathroom window was low and I always felt uncomfortable about it, but hated the blinds always being drawn. We put the stuff on the lower window, left the upper window bare and I felt a lot more comfortable about that. OP might not mind walking around in the nude but the neighbors deserve the same amount of respect that he demands.

[@AndyyWithAY]

15, 15, 15 frikkin years older?? That's almost double 8 which is what he told her at first. What a creep You can tell OP's father really indotrinated and groomed her because the husband is like cartoon villain level evil. I don't blame her for not seeing the signs. But just yikes on bikes. Getting a masters is manly, her hobbies are manly, buying an abuser a drink, berating OP for not being devestated her abuser died, saying she should be glad he's the only one she has to clean after, not letting her ever eat a burger? So many red flags. I'm glad OP is seeing the signs now and choosing herself

[@BlackLotus30]

They are adult sorry but age gap is just a scapegoat here.

[@itsalwayshalloweenexceptwh5118]

​@@BlackLotus30 it's highly relevant to the situation. It would have been different if she was in her late twenties when they met. But she was 20 iirc, and he 100% used her lack of life experience to his advantage.

[@sonialinsey8083]

@BlackLotus30 she literally said it’s DOUBLE what he told her, so you’re right it’s not the age gap it’s that he gave her an age 8 years younger than he is so the problem is obviously DISHONESTY 🙌.

[@JuanRodriguez-tf7fh]

@@sonialinsey8083 agreed

[@Lily_of_the_Forest]

@@BlackLotus30 no, big age gaps are VERY BAD! Stop excusing it!

[@bricksloth6920]

Hey everybody, I quit my job where I was underpaid and undervalued, and got myself a new job that pays significantly more and has benefits. I'm on the spectrum so making the switch was monumental for me but I'm super proud

[@Marchaland]

Proud of u! Hope the new job/coworkers treat you well

[@haitianalphagaming8324]

You deserve it. Keep working hard and remember that you should always be where you are valued and feel most able to thrive.

[@carolsh1983]

Congratulations from a fellow spectrum dweller! That’s a huge deal.

[@pee74332]

As you should be. Congrats on the new job😊!

[@Rhaenarys]

Congrats dude! 🎉 😊

[@TheFlowerchild712]

My heart hurts for OP in story 1. She didn't have anyone in her corner her whole life. Her father and then her soon to be ex were horrible to her. I wish her all the best and I hope her ex has 4 flat tires every single day for the rest of his life. Story 2: ESH. Curtains or some sort of two way mirror attachment to the window would go a long way. OP can continue their daily routine without flashing the neighbors.

[@jcsjcs2]

They guy should just put on some shorts before he gets up and moves around in his room where he's clearly visible from the outside... I remember a story about a hotel at an Marriott airport hotel (EWR) where a guest stepped to the window naked. Some people in the parking lot across the street must have had the best vision on earth and called the police for public indecency. He was arrested and is probably on a sex offender list now. I think that outcome is ridiculous. But i still think it's easy to avoid flashing your neighbors daily.

[@professorroundbottom438]

Syory 2: If the neighbor calls the police over OP's nudity, OP should file a counter-complaint against the neighbor for peeping.

[@LadyPii]

How are the neighbours supposed to know how long they have to keep their curtains closed? At 6, 8 or 10 am?

[@wmdkitty]

@@LadyPii Considering they have to make the effort to look, maybe they could STOP LOOKING?

[@LadyPii]

@@wmdkitty who said that they need effort?

[@NikoWasTakenBruh]

Why are they awake before the sun AND looking into his bedroom tho?

[@corlenajames1381]

It's on the neighbor. OP is in his own home, on his own property, in his bedroom where people are allowed to be naked. If neighbors don't want the show, but also don't want to keep their windows covered, then neighbors are free to invest in landscaping that will provide coverage to block their view of OP's bedroom activities*.

[@maemae527]

I was in an elevator to a bio lab and a woman turned to me and complimented my scarf and asked if I made it myself. I did, and I think about that minor interaction a lot.

[@JW-vd4il]

I hope you reach out, Mae Mae, to find some more people like that. Personally I'm something of a lone wolf and I'm not always up for the effort to make new friends but I realized l get SO MUCH out of little interactions with neighbors and acquaintances. Where I live now, I sat on the front steps one summer evening and then that went on and now I know everybody walking their dogs! I hope you find more friends too if you need that but I wanted to point out to the shy or introverts you can still get some human -- and puppy 🐕 -- interaction without TOO much effort, if you need some little steps to take, first.

[@JW-vd4il]

I also want to know about this scarf! I'm a crafty lady, too. 😁

[@damien678]

I always try to compliment people while I still can (I'm FtM but still look like a woman, and I'm still not sure how I'd go about complimenting others when I look male) Sometimes I get anxious that I'm being annoying so hearing stuff like this makes me feel better about it

[@damien678]

​@@JW-vd4il Little interactions with people is honestly great. I have a lot of reasons why I'm also more of a 'lone wolf' type, but having people even remember me and just sharing pleasantries and some smaller talks is really nice

[@JW-vd4il]

@@damien678 I wanted to reply to you more but this almost got lost in my comments/notifications! 💞 just give me a thumbs up or reply and I'll be back. KZbin does NOT make it easy!.. Only reason I took so long to reply! 💞😺

[@notacatnt]

*gets down on one knee* Mark, your reaction to the first story is reassuring. In a world where it's so common to hear "we don't know what she did to deserve x", it's nice to know that some men feel the shock and horror we do.

[@DarkDesertRose]

Story 2: I don't get people who don't have curtains. I felt so creeped out by the gaping windows in my apartment when i first moved. Curtains were the first things I bought lol

[@beverlywhitman303]

i dont get nudity taboos, what is the issue? it's the 21 century, not 1800s, most EU countries dont have any laws against public nudity, this kind of story is considered nutty neighbors

[@solmas2111]

Hypothetically, why should I have to get curtains to entertain you? Get your own curtains/blinds or stop being a peeping tom. (I literally don't care if you see, but if you do care, then just don't look.)

[@abbie_joan]

​​@@beverlywhitman303 alright but consider: just because can do something doesn't always mean you SHOULD do something... nobody is saying he should stop going nude they're saying that maybe he shouldn't be walking in front of his uncovered windows naked when the neighbors with kids are close enough together to have a clear view of his naked ass and it's not going to kill him to put on underwear or put up a freakin curtain

[@WobblesandBean]

I don't, either. Just buy curtains dude, it's not that hard.

[@damien678]

Some people just honestly have a bit more of an exhibitionist streak in them

[@AndyyWithAY]

We should wish her luck?? Did you miss the part where she's dead. It really doesn't matter if he was listening or not. If he wasn't listening, that's a pattern of behavior.

[@valicefenris325]

I want to see a blooper reel of Mark's actual reactions to some of these stories lmao

[@ninirossau2304]

that is a hell of large baggage OP is carrying around. she has to unlearn past behaviour and starting from scratch building her own personality.

[@ronniec427]

Story 2: There are one way window films, sheer curtains, and depending on his height, if he is tall enough, he can just film the bottom half of his window and then even when he is naked, he will be covered.

[@britnicox3929]

I just desperately hope she works through her guilt about not leaving. When you’re taught and conditioned by everyone you care about or who should care about you from when you were old enough to know anything that your opinion doesn’t matter and your thoughts and feelings are not important, that you should be grateful for less than the bare minimum bc “it could be worse,” it doesn’t make it easy to get out. Especially when he’s isolated her to the point she has no friends or family. Reminds me of the story of the elephant who was raised tied to a post their whole lives and therefore never leaves the post even when they’re untied as an adult bc that’s all they know. I just want updates of her life getting better and better, and I’m so glad she crossed the state line so him being a cop would cross jurisdiction and get him in a lot of trouble if he or his friends tried to do anything to her for leaving

[@AndyyWithAY]

As I've gotten older my opinion on age gap relationships have changed. When I was younger, I thought a relationship with an older man was the greatest thing in the world. Ib still support age gap relationships but until you're in your 30s in most cases anything over 5 years is too much. As someone now in my 30s I majorly side eye my contemporaries dating barely legal people, college age, fresh out of college. What do you have in common with someone that age?? It CAN work sometimes, but in general the younger you are the more potentially suspect your relationship is

[@catherinecox573]

I'm only 27 and I can't imagine dating someone more than 3 years younger 😭 it just seems weird.

[@madelynstorms4609]

I’m 23 and I cant imagine dating a 30 year old and people think I’m crazy

[@ZoeAlleyne]

​@Maddie Silver you are one of the smart ones girl. It takes some of us WAY too long to realise that a man in his 30s/ 40s/50s who is interested in younger girls is likely VERY immature and women his own age won't put up with it. I'm honestly so glad to hear people like you exist, it makes me feel hopeful that one day this will be a more common attitude.

[@Wtfamidoing2970]

This. All of this. I remember back in high school one of my friends was dating someone who was 25 when we were roughly 16 at the time. So many people thought it was so cool that they were together. I thought that it was probably just a thing I would understand when I truly fell in love with someone who was older than me. Nope. Even to this day I have a hard time talking to people more than 5 years older than me as there just isn’t that much to connect with each other with since we are at different stages in life.🤷🏼‍♀️ Looking back now I can see it for all of the red flags that it was. Especially since she didn’t have a job or anything outside of school she went to to even meet someone that much older than she was, meaning he was looking for younger girls online. Honestly scares the crap out of me to this day.

[@bridgetbenson6291]

Yep when I was about 30 I went through the same realization. I'm 41 now and I make sure all the young people in my life understand the dangers of age gaps 5+ years.

[@bunnyslippers191]

"If you eat a burger you'll get fat and I won't love you any more." Holy crap, he even controls what she eats and tells her he only loves her because she's not fat. Run, OP, run!

[@Kirby-zp6cg]

Good morning/afternoon/night everyone! Let’s all enjoy Mark’s story telling todayyyy

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

🤗🤗💜

[@bantubrat343]

That woman she met in the bathroom is definitely how I try to be in my day to day life. I’m always quick to say hello, ask someone how they’re doing and to compliment them on something new. Haircut, new perfume ect. I just love seeing people smile

[@swearimnotarobot3746]

10 year age gap. 😅 I feel that’s going to be related. I love that he tried to complain about her on reddit, and got torn to shreds. 😂

[@HaliaStone]

It’s very rarely not, it seems, and gives age gap relationships a bad rap. Glad she’s out of there and away from the prick.

[@SCP01986]

Usually when an older man is sniffing around barely legal young women, it's because no woman his own age will put up with his bs.

[@swearimnotarobot3746]

@@HaliaStone well I’m sure there are some age gap relationships that are fine. But most Reddit stories are about conflict and bad relationships. Usually. So we only hear about bad age gap relationships. Because people wouldn’t have any reason to complain and rant on Reddit if it was a healthy relationship.

[@annabellehe4307]

Wasnt it 15?

[@untitled-gv3qp]

@@swearimnotarobot3746 It's still a bad sign though. Creeps and abusers look for people that don't have that much experience with relationships so they can fool the people into thinking that their behavior is normal. Not every age gap relationship is like that but it still makes you think about why someone would be interested in someone so much younger or how they even found someone so much younger since most 30 y/o's wouldn't be hanging around the same places as 20 y/o's.

[@juliebiggerbear7300]

Last story. OP should get reflective clingers for his windows, that way he can walk free in his sunny bedroom, and his peeping neighbors can also enjoy the reflected morning glory 😂

[@danishaussie63]

When you got to the 'at least he brings me flowers' part made me have a remembrance. Many years ago one of my friends used to brag about how often her husband would bring her flowers and I thought well, it would be nice if mine did that once in a while right.... turned out it was every time he fooled around he brought her some home.....

[@isabelmorgado5675]

Me and my ex, we used to see watch the news and if ever came up that a man beat a woman or killed her, anything like that. I would be like “oh my, that is horrible, poor woman”, his response was “ you don’t know what she did for him to do that”. First time he said it I was in shock, I was like, I need to run out of here… And I eventually did, he was ready to marry me, take me out of the country to work elsewhere and have kids. I had to run fast, the red flags were beyond 👀

[@nathryl03]

Story 1: Hearing the words "at least he brings me flowers" reminded me of a poem I heard when I was a teenager (for anyone interested, look up "he brought me flowers today") and made me hope the OP leaves her husband for good this time

[@jasmine1327]

My favorite quote is this one “The best time to plant a tree is 7 years ago, the next best time is today.”

[@maxinemyers9215]

That poor girl in the first story, I wish her happiness and love💐

[@iamalbertwesker2]

Story 1 Update: love that 19 Y/O's clapback xD

[@rokuth]

On the last story, if OP wants to get petty, he can get one of those mirror reflective privacy film for his windows. If his windows face East for the sunrise, then the full force of the rising sun will be reflected into his neighbor's house every morning...

[@angelaa7388]

Dude, I would call the cops on the neighbor for peeping. What a creep.

[@wrenpeach6707]

Mark, I don't always comment because I listen to videos while doing physical work, but I just want you to know that you brighten my day constantly. You have such a kind heart and fun personality, when I am dealing with hard times it makes me feel good to know there are sweet people like you in the world. Sending you much love and happiness, and wishing you continuing success and joy in your life ❤

[@ivy4104]

MARK! I hope you’re doing great, as always thank you for the video, have a fantastic week!!

[@MarkNarrations]

IVY! Hello, hope all is well too :)

[@lorianabanana6066]

Anyone else not surprised at all to learn that OP's (ex)husband was a cop? Ya zero shock here.

[@khaleesireyna731]

Not surprised at all. I'm always telling people about all the times I've called the police for a legitimate emergency and they've done fuck all (one instance was potential bomb threat that thankfully turned out to be false and the other instance was someone trespassing into my house and assaulting me).

[@afrogwitch]

I hope she's safe... she's so brave and patient, I hope she finds a lot of friends, healing, and whatever she wants in the future.

[@WobblesandBean]

Her abusive ex is a cop. No, she absolutely isn't safe.

[@sandeesandwich2180]

I'm assuming k-worded == killed, which makes his comment "let's wish both of them luck and move on with our day" particularly absurd/callous. It's like he hasno mental space to feel empathy for his wife or any other woman. SO glad OP got herself out of there. The best is yet to come for her, I am sure.

[@BonazaiGirl]

Hearing the sheer horrible crap OP had been put through by her husband and finally deciding to get out of the situation and away from her POS of a husband is both heart-wrenching and cathartic. Poor woman had to deal with the worst men in her life and I’m so glad she’s finally making the steps to move on from the toxic radiation that was her husband.

[@jeannebuttons5301]

It took me the second time listening to the story that OP just casually mentions that he's an 'officer' and that she went over state lines where he does not have 'pull'. As soon as that clicked in my head I just thought "wow another poster child for 1312"

[@illbeyourstumbleine]

Omg the husband is a cop too! I wanted her to go back to the house with the police with her since she said she doesn’t have any friends to help, but now I see this poor woman truly feels like she has no help and can’t rely on even the cops to be there in her time of need. I am sure he would’ve still snatched those earbuds off with his buddies there. If I knew she was by me I would help her and let her stay in our guest house. Get her far away from him before him and his buddies destroy her life like they did my sisters after she left her cop scumbag abuser husband.

[@ra881tjones]

"Guess I'm a loser magnet or something." Best creep shutdown ever.

[@ironman_546]

Story 1: In case anyone missed it, this guy is an OFFICER. A POLICE OFFICER. And if the force knew about all this, they would do absolutely nothing

[@ciomaria6137]

The last story… i have a question… typically, when it is lighter outside than inside, you would see reflections in the window, rather than what is going on inside, unless the neighbors house is so close that it is shading OP’s house and OP has the light on inside. If the neighbor’s house is that close, then OP should do something like translucent cling film along the bottom of the windows… just enough to create a censor bar from the waist down is enough, lol. If the neighbor’s house is pretty far, so that his kids are using binoculars to see OP, that’s the neighbor’s problem to manage.

[@JustAnotherBuckyLover]

"Fellow Officers" - welp. Why am I not at ALL surprised...

[@ineedhoez]

I commend her for being honest about her participation in her own demise. It didn't feel right to her. If the grooming was successful, she wouldn't have felt wrong when all of those things happened. She knew it didn't feel right but she stayed. And then she took her power back. I appreciate her so much for her honesty and acknowledgement that she was a willing participant. She is fully empowered. I hope she is ok

[@carolsimpson4422]

The part of this story that hit me the hardest was of how happy she was to have a 5 minute conversation with a random lady in the washroom. The importance of women having community with other women cannot be understated.

[@elalogar7340]

Just reached the 12:20 mark. OMG. Poor OP. The way she had been brainwashed, first by her father and then her husband, I really admire her strength and will that helped her to break free from the abusive jerk. I just want to give her a hug.

[@wcs35fox]

In most states (USA), the victim DOES NOT have to file charges against the perpetrators; the police can file charges without any compliance from the victim(s). Follow up on the ex's sister! If she's still being abused, REPORT IT!!

[@mmakoshark]

if you tell a man how another man harmed a woman and he says "well what did the woman do" "we dont know the full story" thats a sign to leave

[@Snowshowslow]

That's a sign to have left a long time ago... But given that obviously didn't happen, it's a sign to leave with extra precautions as the fact that the most dangerous time for women is when they're getting out of a relationship is unfortunately very true.

[@haroldvazquez]

That depends on the story! There was a guy that had to knock out his ex wife.....why? She shot him with the gun going through his forearm while holding is two month old son. She actually attempted to shoot him in the head but luckily the gun jammed. So yeah we do have to ask what the person did. Just to clarify I don't agree with domestic violence one bit! This guy a real piece of work! She had to leave.

[@diarradunlap9337]

​@@haroldvazquez Oh, once she shoots at you, it's time to end her.

[@jerrychicks2420]

Comments like this is why dudes who get falsely accused self deletes.

[@mmakoshark]

@@haroldvazquez girlypop i am so very clearly talking about situations when the man ks clearly the abuser

[@seabreezeblank1513]

My ex used some of those same tactics not talking to me not picking up after himself cooking and leaving food all over the house when I get home at work at 3:00 in the morning have to clean up The kicker was when he told me he was withholding sex to teach me a lesson after I stopped laughing I packed my stuff and left. My birth certificate and passport were missing

[@cjandauntieyaya1446]

Story 1: OP needs to record her life in the other state. If her STBX stalks her or tries to use his badge to harrass her, she can contact the FBI because he then broke the law in another state and breaking state boundaries makes it a Federal offense. It is less likely that he can hide behind the blue line. She needs to expose him as he might be trying to get another PYT to replace her. He did get her when she was only 20 afterall.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Girl!! What a title! 😱 I am shook Then those trigger warnings 😱😱🤔

[@Boundwithflame23]

I went from being like “you can’t be serious right?” in reaction to the title to wanting to punch the husband

[@BruinPhD2009]

Right? I was listening in my car and after the warnings I yelled out "damn!"

[@amysunday0]

Story 1: when op said she picked up woodworking and her husband was demeaning about it, it broke my heart. I'm currently a carpenter in training and I get it. As a woman in manual labour you do get shit from men from time to time, but the fact that her husband is so convinced woodworking is for men to the point he thinks it makes her trans is just disgusting. That man is obviously a walking red flag anyway, but that just stuck out to me. My heart goes out to you op, do what you love and don't let assholes stop you. A "man's job/hobby" becomes a woman's job/hobby also the second a woman does it. Edit: spelling

[@nickymouse1698]

Story 1: Coming from a abusing father makes it difficult to relearn new behavior as a girlfriend/wife. It takes often quite a bit to learn it's not normal.

[@sarawilliamson5420]

Story 1: I felt this..... The best thing to come out of my divorce was putting my lawyer's fees on an airline credit card. When it was done I flew to Europe on the miles.

[@ineedhoez]

😂😂😂😂

[@carlrood4457]

What a lot of people don't get is that the vast majority of life is the small stuff. It's not often about life changing trauma. It's the buildup between small pleasant vs. unpleasant interactions that really determine happiness. The truth is that the person who brings you coffee every morning is doing more for your overall happiness than someone sending you big bouquets of flowers a couple times a year.

[@pugetsound1272]

I agree with you 100%. That's why I hate Valentine's day. People go to so much trouble on that one day and then the rest of the year, spouses are rude and cold to each other 🤷‍♀

[@goldenpaladin]

Warning for murder and self deletion in this comment This story kinda of hit home because my sisters husband killed her and himself infront of there kids I have no love for people like ops husband

[@slantos2668]

I am so sorry for your loss.

[@__-sp1ly]

The last story I feel the cops would say it's a civil matter and the court would probably side with op since he was there first and another of the time the deciding factor really is that basic. Also, why would you buy a house that looks directly into your neighbors house? How close are these houses that his neighbors are looking into his house regularly?

[@ynmonroe]

And, if they are really that bothered, why haven't they bought the blinds? Or just stop looking out early morning? This is a them problem, not an OP problem, assuming anyone other than the husband is actually looking.

[@ianesgrecia8568]

@@ynmonroe Because they expect the OP to spend money and not them.

[@colleens1107]

I remember this post, I’m glad she updated because the part about him fake out punch (not sure if I’m calling it right) AND that he defended the abuser…yeah he totally would have gotten physical eventually. That fake out will eventually become real.

[@Phatse]

"A retirement plan that isn't young women" 😂😂😂😂 why am I laughing so hard at that

[@astronautviolet153]

Story 1 Op we'll find a better husband, and life partner, and hopefully, children if she wants them.

[@veronica5lmaa]

I hope she find good friends

[@LusterDust]

So scary that he's a police officer, too. That makes this ALL the more scary. She needs to move far far away. Unfortunately, she should just forget about her passport. She doesn't go into that much, but him bringing his "Fellow officers" and going over state lines where "He doesn't have as much pull there." My heart is pounding for this girl.

[@chantristrammell6088]

I've heard story one before. After some things that have happened in my life since then makes me understand what is going on in my life and know what choices I have to make. Thanks for reading this story Mark.

[@jennifersilves4195]

Last story... Neighbors need to stop looking in OP's windows. That's some creepy stuff.

[@CarinaCoffee]

Story 1: can we highlight the point where OP's husband is an officer and had is fellow officers spy on her?! I'm glad she's staying over state lines and I hope she can stay save from him and his buddies.

[@lorrainemontagnon1537]

Good morning all! Marks voice and narrative style is all I need to have a great day

[@kathyniebylski6735]

I've seen the cheetos story too, but worse. My mom had went through a lot worse and had to leave with 3 kids (including me) somewhere else and 10 years later there is still so much trauma left that I'm slowly going through.

[@grimdarkmalarkey5402]

Story 2: Could OP plant some shrubs to replace the treeline maybe? If price is an issue, shrubbery might be more expensive than blinds/take too long to grow large enough to block the view. But I'd personally take any excuse to make my lawn something other than a flat patch of grass. Could attract birds and other wildlife too depending on what species he gets (but if he lives somewhere it snows it'll need to be an evergreen).

[@TsukiKageTora]

The neighbors are ridiculous. They still complain about the few seconds he gets up and puts on shorts… how about you not be in the line of sight those few seconds…? But I do agree OP should put up the stuff that looks like a mirror so only the neighbors see their own reflection for trying to look at exactly when OP is naked in his own house, they are the weirdos for that

[@owl7072]

​@TsukiKageTora honestly 💀 like how often/long are they looking at Op's house, and into their bedroom window, to notice a brief few seconds of someone walking by in the nude to get dressed. At that point they've clearly memorized when Op gets up so maybe just don't look at the window during that brief moment 😭 Kinda reminds me of a story where Op had her window open (can't remember if she didn't have blinds/curtains or if she just had them open at the time) and a neighbor's kids were going out of their way to creep on her while she would change, and when the mom found out, she tore in _Op_ and told her to quit being indecent in front of her kids 😭 Obviously this isn't exactly the same, especially cause we don't know how close these houses/windows are to each other, but it reminded me of that.

[@lsmmoore1]

@@owl7072 And what's more, why did he make the kids' room the one that's right next to the neighbor's window. If he's so worried about the kids I can only assume that's the case, which means that is on him too. He should have picked a different room for his kids. Especially if they have more than one bedroom.

[@jessicaable5095]

I'd say net curtains would be the best way to go about it. Cheapest way to ensure nobody has to change their lifestyle and feel comfy in their own homes

[@MicheleLeBourgeois]

Why does OP have to put up cling on his windows, let the neighbors do it if they are so worried about it. Why does he have to change how he lives? The father should have taken that action to begin with if he is being insulted about OP’s nudity!

[@skyepilot4074]

I hope OP is able to heal and thrive

[@Nikkimommyof4]

That comment about the brief moment of human contact that offered a stranger a moment of warmth really stuck with me. There have been times I've looked for opportunities to show kindness to a random stranger because they looked like they needed a moment of warmth. I've been told that it only takes a moment like this to change a person's life for the better and I sincerely hope that perhaps maybe I helped someone in some small way. I doubt I will ever know but I am going to keep sowing seeds of kindness and respect to others because I believe that in return there may be a time when I may need that very same warmth and kindness and it will return to me. A smile, a compliment on something I'm wearing or even something they heard me say as they passed by and I was on the phone. My husband's favorite thing to do is to pick a random table at a restaurant and pay their bill and walk away hopefully before they realize it's been paid. The point isn't to get thanked it's just to let them know that someone out there sees them and cares. Someone did it for us when we were first time parents and it stuck with us after more than 30 years. I encourage anyone reading this to please consider doing the same types of things. Who knows how many others we can inspire to join us. I know it sounds kind of hippy dippy but I just want to spread peace and love wherever I can. We need it.

[@phionella7]

Any cop that helps a fellow cop stalk their wife should be fired with the husband cop. Disgusting!!

[@averycheesypotato]

Fired is the minimum. Charged is more like it. Figures of authority should be held to higher standards than the general public, not less!

[@wildone9946]

Story 2 made me a little annoyed that the neighbors kept looking into OPs house. Like are they purposefully doing that? I lived in a neighborhood where houses were right next to each other and my roommates walked around naked all the time. Never had an issue with neighbors looking into our house and getting flashed by them. It just reminds me of those stories where some creepy person wouldn't stop spying on the neighbors.

[@LadyPii]

Do you think it's ok to flash morning wood to neighbour's kids?

[@wildone9946]

@@LadyPii why did you make it sound like OP is going outside naked and doing this on purpose? He wasn't trying to flash the neighbor's kids. He was getting out of bed. Why are the kids looking into someone's personal home every morning? If their beds are facing that, just move the beds or simply move the pillows to the other side of the bed. If it's the kitchen, then yeah, I can understand the frustration because you can't just move everything around. If anything, I am all for OP getting those one way mirrors so that problem is solved. Just I'm sure someone's going to complain about being flashed in a different manner because of the reflected light.

[@jessicaable5095]

They should pay for him to get some nice net curtains. That way they don't have to be paranoid around their own windows that, unfortunately, directly face his, and he gets to enjoy his old comfy morning routine and full sunlight in the morning. Everyone has right to comfort in their own home and everyone has the right to use their own windows without the fear of getting flashed or complained at.

[@wildone9946]

@@jessicaable5095 exactly! The neighbors are the ones having a problem, not OP. He's already tried to compromise, but that wasn't enough

[@MrPikaGammer]

​​@@wildone9946even if it's not intentional that's exactly what OP is doing every morning, if you have neighbors especially ones with kids and go about with your dick you can expect complaints. Complaints that can be solved by being a reasonable human and putting up some privacy film on your windows instead of pushing your exhibitionism on everyone who lives around you.

[@telinhajp]

Good morning, Mark and Poppy! Wishing you an awesome Tuesday! ❤️🤗

[@carolynv8979]

I got super into the musical Six a few years ago. I was babbling one night about how I’d never realized how YOUNG Katherine Howard was and how tragic it is. And my dad said something about gold diggers being as old as time itself. I had to re-evaluate everything I thought I knew about him. I’ve pulled back a lot since then.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

I'm barely a minute in and I'm already horrified by this story. 😰 Poor OP and that poor, poor lady! 😭 This story wants me want to cry and rage! 😭😡 I absolutely despise people like OP's husband and sperm donor father. The only good thing is that there's no innocent children and therefore no link to tie OP and that ogre together. I'm so glad OP reflected on how much she had been manipulated and gaslit to oblivion, but she shouldn't blame herself too much. Her sperm donor father had ruined her view on the world and basically treated her like a possession her whole life, and he's going to have so much to answer for. In any case, OP was lucky to escape from this hellish marriage alive. Her boss wasn't nearly as lucky. I really think she should go to therapy for a long while to unpack the last two decades of her life and move forward in a healthy way. I can only hope that OP is safe and doing well after all this. ❤

[@BitterSimplicity]

“At least he does x, at least he doesn’t do y.” Fuck, that part made me cry. I’ve played the justification game, too.

[@HobieInTheBox]

Last story: that's just willful ignorance. The EHS and YTA comments are right, there are solutions

[@bellswhalen7684]

Story 2: If OP is getting up and immediately puts on shorts then whatever the neighbors are seeing is from prolonged, sought out peeping rather than an unfortunate glance and therefore is their problem, not his problem

[@isaacnation4116]

Bruh. This dude is literally just a bunch of red flags wrapped up in a human costume.

[@LovesGaming37]

Story one is just more proof that women need an education past high school and work experience and a good saving account.

[@squeakybb]

Story 2 is why I will never buy a house with neighbors nearby.

[@catsithx]

Story one remember everyone the net always remembers. Especially reddit.

[@luvondarox]

S1 Stories like this are the main reason i hesitate at the idea of dating a cop. Too many "brothers" seem ready and willing to support a creep and make someone's life a cage to "help a buddy."

[@maggpiprime954]

That last story sure was... cheeky!

[@Timbulathespidermonk]

“His fellow officers”………yep, this checks out

[@orchidoxs126]

Story 2: Esh. Get blinds. Honestly both people here should get blinds, op didn't have to worry about people before, but now he has. It would be different if they were going out to see and complain about it. But just like op, they have the right to have their open too Do what you want behind closed doors and out of sight, but if you know you're flashing people because you're in front of a window, then there's a problem. And with blinds (depending on the ines you get, he can still get that sun in his eyes without flashing his neighbors, or just get pajama shorts. There can be a compromise here they can reach. Though I do think the neighbors suck for being rude sbout though.

[@Plaprad]

I agree with the ESH. He's acting like a jerk, but so is the neighbor. It would help to know more specifics though. But, to be honest, if someone came to me "ordering" me to do something in my own home, I'd probably go the jerk route as well. I'm just wondering how the neighbor knows it though. If OP is being honest, there's maybe a one to two minute window of him on display. If the neighbor is making that big of a deal, is he actually watching? Is his wife? Did she make a comment? Seems like the neighbor may have something going on as well.

[@jennifertaylor2013]

OP isn't the one with the problem. The neighbour is.

[@fleacythesheepgirl]

You cannot flash people even from your own home. That’s illegal. They have children. He could be charged with some pretty serious crimes. This guy is playing a really stupid game of chicken. It’s not worth it.

[@jessicaable5095]

They should pay for him to get some nice net curtains. That way they don't have to be paranoid around their own windows that, unfortunately, directly face his, and he gets to enjoy his old comfy morning routine and full sunlight in the morning. Everyone has right to comfort in their own home and everyone has the right to use their own windows without the fear of getting flashed or complained at.

[@melosidhe779]

Hearing about the woman in the bathroom just cements my belief to give small compliments as often as possible. It costs nothing to be kind and it can really change a strangers day

[@grimdarkmalarkey5402]

K-word definition: to quote SAO abridged, "Sometimes, things are born. They live, then they stop. Forever."

[@candiebarr6745]

... 28 year old dude and neighbours need some curtains.

[@usneod9329]

As a man I will tell you I despise men like this. This is abuse plain and simple. My own brother treated his wife like this. It affected our relationship since the day I discovered his abuse to this wonderful woman. Long story short. I got her out of this abusive trap. I financed her escape. Years later when she was becoming quite successful he found out that I helped her escape and instead of being pissed off at me he accused me of having an affair with her. The price was this affected our relationship permanently. I loved my sister in law like a sister and still do. I would do the same thing all over again without regret.

[@averycheesypotato]

Glad to hear she got out! Thank you for helping her. You know that relationship with your brother wasn’t worth it. He would have burned you too in time, somehow

[@joan-mariacbrooks]

You're a gem!

[@Russman67]

I completely get OP and how her mind is working through this separation, preparation for divorce. She hit a tipping point. When people say the straw that broke the camel's back, they forget about all the other straw that was there before. And the fact that she's left this guy four times says there was already a fair amount of straw in play here. Her father pre-programmed her to get in the relationship with someone this abusive. Thankfully she recognized that.

[@jennilynne1977]

I hope everyone is having a great day/afternoon/night! Peace ☮️, hugs 🤗 and love 😘!

[@thebigmystery7841]

Youll never know true kind of compassion until youre working at a bar, go to clean the bathrooms to see a gaggle of college girls. completely drunk and having the time of their lives as they proceed to compliment you from your hair to your ass and want to pump you up before going back out to work more. It comes from a really pure place and id never want any less

[@justkali97]

The part where OP stepped on the chip, screamed, and grabbed the seperation papers, i just imagined that scene from Mean Girls where Regina George lets out that primal scream all the way home and grabs the burn book lol

[@dianedupree-dempsey2402]

Been meaning to comment on this - I love the outro music on these videos. It makes me want to dance a bit.