My Wife Is Mad I Suggested Kicking Out Our Daughter From Our Home r/Relationships

[@geekbabe100]

The 1st story, the young couple paid for ALL their personal expenses including food, shampoo toothpaste etc. I am glad they all talked & worked things out.

[@leaflet1686]

Story 1: Why do parents never talk to their kids? My parents did the same thing... Got tired of my grandma stressing us all out during the christmas dinner and decided to celebrate christmas alone in sweden, leaving me behind again. Did they tell me why? No... I cried thinking I lost the last bit of family thing I had! We don't have get togethers. We never went anywhere together, except once as I was younger. As soon as I hit puberty I was left alone. TALK TO YOUR KIDS!

[@ScaryBoomBoomGun]

Story 3 - OP ITA. A huge one. He couldn't even give her notice that he wanted to sell it? Couldn't give her the chance to buy it? He certainly seems to be heavily favoring his son.

[@xElvirax]

He clearly hates her. She went home ror a visit, meaning she has a life and a home somewhere else, and he doesn't give two shits how dangerous it can be for women in a big city without proper transport.

[@ScaryBoomBoomGun]

@@RealJacior He didn't have to be a jerk and not even let her know well ahead of time that he was going to sell it. How he handled the selling of the car is what makes him TA.

[@Imjustkendall]

Story 1: My feelings are…complicated. I’m Mexican and we don’t kick our kids from the house. Ever. But if they aren’t paying any sort of rent…Just have a conversation about it with everyone. If OP kicks them out without one they would be TA.

[@iplayfoofee3547]

tats roughly the same for most asian household, u dont move out unless u are married. or really well off to live on ur own.

[@1kokokala10]

RIght like I get wanting your kids to do more but if your immediate thought is to toss them out and have them figure it out it won't garner a strong relationship with them. Hell I come from a black household we always have someone here because they fell on hard times and sometimes those hard times don't go away no matter how hard you work.

[@jenniferfoote5442]

My kids and i had to move back in with my mom a while back for a few years when shit got rough..we were able to move out eventually so i think every family deals with it..i think as long as you're working on whatever needs it, having your parents/family to support you through is super important..im from a white household just to round off the diversity here Lol

[@EarthAngel504]

Story 3. Before he even went into detail about buying his son a car and not only not offering to buy his daughter one, But also refusing to help her with her college tuition, but agreeing to buy a Cheap used car for her that she can Borrow until he sell it.. Not only is he an A-hole. He's a very fucked up parent who plays favorites.. What immediately tipped me off was at the beginning when he opens with;" I have 2 children and i don't like 1 more than the other". Why would you need to start out with such a disclaimer.. As they say, Hit dogs holler. and A guilt conscience needs no accusing.

[@skeywoo318]

I just heard your last sentence today and now I see it here.

[@EarthAngel504]

@@skeywoo318 When stuff like that happens.. something is trying to tell you or alert you about something. maybe about something that has happened, or is about to happen.

[@RealJacior]

But... he graduated trade school and she hasn't graduated? Its a graduation present, ypu people are really entitled to think a high schooler going into college deserves the same as someone who just finished school.

[@EarthAngel504]

@@RealJacior he did not say it was a graduation present. Also. it is tradition, that parents tend to buy their child a car when they graduation high school, usually a used car because it's usually their 1st time stepping their foot into the real world with jobs and college.

[@prin0428]

Story 3: Tell me your son is your favorite child without telling me your son is your favoritre child! Holy cow, I cannot do enough mental gymnastics to get to a place that I understand, even a little, the dad's thought process regarding the rewards and help he gives the son over the daughter. He rewards his son and seems to punish his daughter. It is crazy. I am not saying the sons decision to go to school for hvac and finish is not wonderful, I just cannot get over the blatant favoritism! OP is absolutely 💯 the AH. Shame on him

[@xElvirax]

He isn't just the AH, he also hates her with every fibre of his being. It sounds like if he could backcharge her for all the money he spent on her as a kid he would in a heartbeat. I don't hear anything about a mom, maybe she left him and looks a lot like her? Either way he is a major AH

[@ScooterBond1970]

OP: "I treat my kids equally BUT..." ME: "Oh boy, here we go."

[@laurenevers8644]

RealJacior There just always has to be people like you spamming the comments section with the same copied and pasted comments defending/enabling assholes and abusers -_-

[@luke_at_my_art]

Extra info on the last story: OP is like "I'm a great father and I paid for daughter's dental work and she needs braces but it's only cosmetic" basically saying that there was no favoritism because he paid for his daughter's dental work that sounded like it was necessary but played it off as for cosmetic purposes and he sounded like he was doing her a favor when she was younger

[@RainyDays2790]

so he thinks being a parent and taking care of his kid isnt showing favoritism?? also idk a soul that would ever wear braces as a style choice so he's grasping at some thin ass straws there

[@xElvirax]

Because he hates her. All the way through all I could see is that he hates his daughter for some reason. He doesn't even like her.

[@drako8343]

@@RainyDays2790 there are some groups that get braces when they can because it’s an indicator of wealth in that community. Not saying that applies to OP, just that it’s a thing.

[@Knives7777]

did you not read the part where he said to her he would be selling the car. the part she agreed to .

[@llcdrdndgrbd]

@@Knives7777 he decided to sell the car after literally a year or so, while she is still in college, after she spent a significant amount on fixing it up, so that he can make a massive profit. A dumb kid agreeing to a bad deal doesn’t make the guy trying to defraud the kid in the right, especially when he is her actual father. This guy clearly hates that he had a daughter or something, I don’t know what his problem is but he is a slimy pos.

[@poetryqn]

OMG, first poster! Finally! Hey, Mark! Story 3 makes my blood boil. OP's mental gymnastics to justify his favoring his son take this story to Mount Everest levels of cluelessness. Of course he's the AH. No one expects you to treat your children the same, but basic fairness demands you treat them with equal consideration and respect.

[@Yume10605]

Not to mention he made his daughter pay for his project car and plans tokeepall the proffet but half the paint job.

[@RealJacior]

But... he graduated trade school and she hasn't graduated? Its a graduation present, ypu people are really entitled to think a high schooler going into college deserves the same as someone who just finished school.

[@dorianleakey]

@@RealJacior Stop using this word entitled when the son was entitled and she actually worked. You keep talking bullshit about this acively lying about the circumstances.

[@TsukiKageTora]

Edit 2 of the last story is really worrisome. Like he bought the car for his daughter and let her fix it up just to sell it because “90s BMW in good shape are desirable” He was never going to let her keep the car because he knew he’d let her fix it up just to sell it even before buying it! He doesn’t even seem apologetic about it or even seem to see what the commenters see. He is an awful parent to the daughter. He only let her keep it because he got called out for favoritism towards his son.

[@themayhemofmadness7038]

Yeah. The favoritism is deep on that one and OP saying “I like both my kids equally, however…” is the equivalent of someone saying “I don’t mean to offend anyone, but…” and then promptly offending people.

[@oldwelshlady6584]

It was the mama wasn't ut?goes to show....

[@Knives7777]

did you not read the part where he said to her he would be selling the car. the part she agreed to .

[@dandotvid]

@@Knives7777 selling it after a year after she put the work and money into fixing it up is just a slap in the face. Generally, in this situation you'd think that the car would be sold once she finished school and could buy her own with whatever job she had, not a year into her schooling just because OP thinks he can make some good money off it. And he was only going to reimburse her for half of the cost of the paint job? That's it? Not reimburse for all the repairs she did to bring the value of the car up? Nope, OP is an AH.

[@TsukiKageTora]

@@Knives7777 he wouldn’t sell the son’s car but he admitted to only getting the car for his daughter to sell it when it is fixed up… by her

[@kiwifreund]

Story 3: no denial that the son is favored, really. Just a ho-hum response that the daughter seems "attached" to her car. Huh. My take is that she should finish detaching from her "family" as soon as she can.

[@RealJacior]

But... he graduated trade school and she hasn't graduated? Its a graduation present, its really entitled to think a high schooler going into college deserves the same as someone who just finished school.

[@laurenevers8644]

RealJacior I'm reporting you for unwanted spam at this point. You're completely missing the point of the dad's unfair treatment and arguing all over the place with anyone who disagrees with you. Get a fucking life dude :/

[@cjandauntieyaya1446]

Last Story: OP is clearly TA but he is so clueless and doubles down even after his judgement that this most likely is a systemic issue that he has favored his son and treated his daughter like she wasn't even his. I'm thinking she should try to use up that car as much as possible while she is at school to get a job so she can save up for her own vehicle because I'm thinking her father will either gift her the rust bucket instead of buying her a brand new car or sell it right before she graduates and NOT giving her a brand new car for graduation because he "gave her a car to use" while she was at college. OP is not a reliable father for his daughter and I hope she treats him like he has treated her when he gets old and needs his children to take care of him in his old age.

[@shaylelistoe4992]

I think "babies possibly turning up randomly" is the best sentence I've ever heard...

[@CatsandDragons7]

What the actual hell is wrong with OP in story 3??? I don’t even have words. And all of his comments just get worse and worse. I hope the daughter cuts contact with him

[@RealJacior]

But... the sons car was for graduating trade school? And he's 28? The 18 year old who just graduated high school deserves a car more than her brother... why? The daughter is really entitled to think just because Dad bought brother a car recently for school related stuff, she'd get the same. Its not the same situation at all. If she just graduated college and he didn't buy her a car, sure I'd say favoritism but this is just not... rewarding her for graduating high school... which isn't why her brother got a truck It was always agreed he was going to sell it, if she wanted to put work into it and talk about buying it from her dad sure, or maybe as a graduation present

[@guywhowatchesvideos-z2e]

18:05 - this is the kinda parent who will die wondering why their kids hate them.

[@xElvirax]

"my kids never visit me, they're so mean to me!" There's usually missing missing reasons.

[@Russman67]

Story 2: Look if OP's sister doesn't like Disney items everywhere then she needs to open the wallet and shell out for a different venue. Don't be a choosing beggar. Go somewhere else. Not the asshole

[@shannonbullock2202]

Any struggling adult family member who does NOT feel entitled to your help and is grateful for it deserves the help. It's the ones who act like it's your job to care for them like children who need the tough love kick in the butt to force them to care for themselves

[@lasmirandadennsiewillja9435]

My thoughts on the wedding story: Here is an uncomfortable truth: nobody will remember a wedding for being flawless except the couple and maybe their parents. For everyone else, as life goes on and more weddings happen, the flawless part will bleed into each other and be remembered as "Oh, right Jane and John's wedding. It was nice. Hey, do you remember Jack and Jill who had their dog as their ringbearer but when he was supposed to trot down the aisle, he suddenly trotted over to Aunt Prudence and tried to climb on her lap mid-ceremony? Haha, yes, that was funny!" Flawless isn't interesting enough to be remembered. It's the little harmless hiccups and accidents where nobody gets seriously hurt that will be remembered, especially when everybody had a good chuckle at them, especially the bride and groom. The only thing that would happen if guests saw a private Disney museum would be "Hey, remember how we went to that one wedding hosted by the in-laws who had turned their first floor into a Disney museum?" - "OH, right, that was Sis and Dude's wedding! I had forgotten about it but now that you mention it, remember how stunning her dress looked?" ten years after the wedding because that's how brains work. Also, another hard-to-swallow truth: Wedding guests will not stare at the bride and groom and whisper in awe about their awesomeness every free second of the wedding. in fact, the bride and groom will be the least talked about topic because people will be busy talking about work, Great-Grandma's new partner, Uncle Jim's death, remember little Tommy who lived next to Aunt Amy, he's 50 now and has been diagnosed with kidney stones, talking about kidneys, how are the kids, and is it true that your cousin had to move five hours away for a new job? What were he and his wife doing again? So, if it isn't the sister's pregnancy, the groomsman's hair loss or a brother's Disney collection, it'll be something else they'll talk about. Not that the bride and groom won't be a topic but you can talk about "lovely hair!" and "beautiful dress!" and "nice food" for only so long (aside from the fact that there seems to be an unwritten law of the universe that if you eat in the company of others, everyone at the table is obligated to talk about food experience they had elsewhere). TL;DR: the sister should be grateful that the location offers the guests something quirky that makes the wedding memorable for the people who aren't getting married that day.

[@RockyGems]

Frankly, nobody will fondly remember the sterile picture-perfect wedding. My favorite wedding memory is when I went to my aunt's wedding and watching the bride and her little brother get into a dance-off.

[@niyablake]

It's her second wedding

[@owl7072]

Story 2: How are you gonna ask to use someone's private property for your wedding, not pay a cent, then ask them to completely redecorate an entire floor of their house? Especially when that's not even part of the venue aside from maybe if someone needs to go to the bathroom???? It's disney, people will only care if you make them care.

[@paulastiles5507]

Story #2: Wow, that is some epic audacity from the sister. I'd rescind the offer and stay away from Bridezilla's nuptials.

[@AndyyWithAY]

The depression thing sucks and was unexpected, but it's still good OP brought this up. This prompted them to get help. I am very curious why they have all this debt when they're not paying rent the biggest expense most people have

[@pugsabi]

Eating out, unexpected bills, medication, and only paying off the minimum on the cards.

[@Objective-Observer]

Oh, that's an easy one: they CANNOT pay for all their expenses, despite telling her parents. They put their food and consumables on the card, because the other expenses need cash. Yes, my brother bankrupted my sister that way. He moved in unemployed, and she could give him a part time job. SHE PAID FOR EVERYTHING, including his long distance phone bill that was bigger than the rent! It was her phone bill, so he felt no reason to pay it. She had to put their food and other consumables onto credit cards. When she could finally give him a full time job, she offered to move out and let him keep the inexpensive apartment: HE REFUSED TO LET HER MOVE. CONVINCED HER THEY COULDN'T SURVIVE APART. No, HE couldn't buy all the toys he wanted, if she wasn't paying for everything, but half the rent. That was the ONLY thing he offered to pay: half of the rent. She finally had to abandon her business to him and leave, just to prevent him from driving her further into debt. He said he would send her a portion of the profits, but he stopped after six months. When she contemplated suicide, we brought her into our home and paid for her bankruptcy.

[@jaredmorales5130]

​@Objective Observer Oof. Not gonna sugarcoat it, your brother sucks. Hope your sister's doing better.

[@enkiimuto1041]

It was unexpected because OP didn't bother to mention, but sure decided to talk his daughter was having sex with the soon to be husband

[@ruthsaunders9507]

@@enkiimuto1041 Doesn't really matter. They're still freeloading. They know exactly what they're doing and the pity party is the latest way to get away with it.

[@babygirl_lunaa9096]

Story 3: Much of the value from that car was most likely from the overhaul the daughter did on it. If he sells it, he owes her most of the profit after he recoups the cost of purchasing. I hate it when people don't treat their kids equally based on how successful they might me. Growing up, I was always sad looking at how other people got gifts for good grades/high averages, etc (outside of my family), because I felt like my efforts weren't rewarded the same. Obviously I could get over it because it just wasn't something my whole family did, but if my dad did this to me??? I'd probably think he hates me or something, especially if he didn't even have the courtesy to give me a heads up before listing the car.

[@TheSilentChloey]

If I were OP I would have just used the money from selling the car to get her a newer car that is better than the first one.

[@babygirl_lunaa9096]

@@TheSilentChloey I wouldn't do this without even consulting her first, though. It honestly sounds like she liked the car a lot and I think the dad should have just transferred it into her name

[@xElvirax]

He absolutely does hate her for just existing for some reason.

[@RealJacior]

But... he graduated trade school and she hasn't graduated? Its a graduation present, ypu people are really entitled to think a high schooler going into college deserves the same as someone who just finished school.

[@RealJacior]

​@@babygirl_lunaa9096 but that was always the deal. He'd let her use the car but it was his and he would sell it when he wanted. She's not entitled to anything here

[@origamisteve]

OP in the last story really peeved me off. He clearly realized he was in the wrong in the edits but doubled down anyways. Idiot didn't learn a damn thing and him being shamed was the only reason he let his daughter keep the used car. (If he's telling the truth) Smh.

[@ronniec427]

Story 2: Honestly, OP shouldn't be letting the guests use their bathrooms anyways. That is a lot of wear and tear on a plumbing system. If I was OP, I would tell my sister, "I'm glad you brought to my attention that having the guests using my bathrooms will be a problem. You will have to rent toilets as to not put that much stress on my plumbing." Win-WIn.

[@Nevertoleave]

Saying someone is an adult and should deal with alone is such a sad way to view life. We’re a social animal. We do better as a society when we work together. There’s a difference between someone taking advantage and someone needing help

[@ceasarvsnepolion7789]

Story 3. If she had to pqy for an engone and transmission rebuild, she might as well have bought the car herslef.

[@gottathinkupanewone]

Last story: So you reward you son for not achieving more, and punish your daughter for all her achievements? Yeah; sounds about right -- if you want your daughter to walk away and never speak to you again.

[@RealJacior]

But... the sons car was for graduating trade school? And he's 28? The 18 year old who just graduated high school deserves a car more than her brother... why? The daughter is really entitled to think just because Dad bought brother a car recently for school related stuff, she'd get the same. Its not the same situation at all. If she just graduated college and he didn't buy her a car, sure I'd say favoritism but this is just not... rewarding her for graduating high school... which isn't why her brother got a truck It was always agreed he was going to sell it, if she wanted to put work into it and talk about buying it from her dad sure, or maybe as a graduation present

[@jeannettethorsby7085]

Story 2: It's your home. So decorate it as you want to. She is being controlling. Inform her to rent a port-a-potty. Your home is off limits to her guests. She don't like that? Oh well. Find another venue!

[@juliebiggerbear7300]

Story 3. I have had a fair variety of vehicles over the years, and had to have parts in some of them repaired or replaced. OP is talking about this car like his daughter put a couple of seat covers in there so she shouldn’t be upset. She had Transmission work, Engine work, Exterior and Interior work done, all to ensure upkeep and with the understanding that OP would sell the car eventually. There are a lot of words I colored the air with regarding OP that I will not post here, because I don’t want to make sailors cry, but I formally nominate this guy as YTA dad of the year. He seriously thinks going in halvsies on the paint job is sufficient?!? Based on her responses to the very little he did do, as well as his post, this poor young lady has been dealing with the short end of the stick for a long time. I hope that this shit that she’s currently been slung is the wake up call she needs to cut this guy out of her life, because he is not being a good father to her. She isn’t even done with school yet FFS.

[@BruinPhD2009]

I think you should make the sailors get a little weepy, at least. If not, I’ll be crying because I really wanted to hear if what you were thinking was as bad as what I was thinking. 😂

[@ceeshnia]

Right? Like she still has, likely, 3 more years at least that she needs the use of a car; that is aside from the point of his audacity. Likeliness is, he saw how good of a job she did and wanted to profit off of it now. What a loathsome piece of rotted margarine.

[@RealJacior]

But... he graduated trade school and she hasn't graduated? Its a graduation present, ypu people are really entitled to think a high schooler going into college deserves the same as someone who just finished school.

[@laurenevers8644]

RealJacior Dude, just STOP!! Do you really have so much time on your hands that you spam the same copied and pasted comment every single chance you get?

[@AtorrisVsChadinel]

Story 3 is an example of of why are you here man? Did he really think he wasn’t going to be the AH? At minimum he shouldn’t have let her do any work on the car if he was gonna sell it. Bad enough he gave is daughter a car just to take it back.

[@Yume10605]

Yeah op litterlerly made her pain for the really pricey repairs while she is in collage and he is only going to pay her half the cost of the paint job.

[@RealJacior]

But... he graduated trade school and she hasn't graduated? Its a graduation present, ypu people are really entitled to think a high schooler going into college deserves the same as someone who just finished school.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Story 3 I think you're the AH unless you pay her for ALL the repairs and upgrades. Like why now? Especially when you bought him a BRAND NEW car. The daughter has always had her 💩 together and seems to get punished for that. OP majorly sucks. TF is wrong with him to think this isn't favoritism and AH behavior.

[@dorianleakey]

Blaming the price increase on the pandemic, not the fact its a far better car because of all she did.

[@xElvirax]

He hates his daughter. It's so clear.

[@hendider876.4]

​@@dorianleakey I mean, prices did skyrocket during the pandemic. But mainly prices for well kept examples, which by OPs own admission is only true for the car bc his daugther restored it

[@RealJacior]

But... he graduated trade school and she hasn't graduated? Its a graduation present, ypu people are really entitled to think a high schooler going into college deserves the same as someone who just finished school.

[@hendider876.4]

@@RealJacior That is besides the point that the dad just wanted to sell the car right after the daugther restored it, without warning and without paying her back the amount of money she put into the car to make it actually worth something.

[@KateKanenator]

Story 1: both of their dreams are transferable to real jobs. . . Daughter can apprentice as a tattoo artist (sounds like shes a good artist), and son in law can become a content editor (which is a real job. . .). It sounds like they need to work smarter.

[@tiffanylemmons4842]

I like/love my kids equally. Anytime I hear that phrase in one of these stories, I know I am going to get a story that fully contradicts that sentence.

[@drako8343]

People should understand that love and like are two different things. You can love people equally, but if you don’t like them enough to say you would be friends with them if you weren’t related by blood, there’s going to be favoritism

[@RealJacior]

But... he graduated trade school and she hasn't graduated? Its a graduation present, ypu people are really entitled to think a high schooler going into college deserves the same as someone who just finished school.

[@tiffanylemmons4842]

@RealJacior And if the father had said, "I am planning to give her a car when she graduates," I would agree with you. Funny, the father never says that, does he? Still, that's not the main issue. The daughter has put a lot of money into the used BMW. That deserves compensation.

[@TheMarie2000]

Agreed

[@AndyyWithAY]

Story 2 I'm petty I'd tell her to GTFO and choose her own venue. And most people like Disney anyway. I don't think anyone is going to say "that was the worst f**king wedding I've ever been to, the homeowner had *gasp* Disney. It was the worst! I'm traumatized forever". NTA you're too nice to even consider her outrageous demand.

[@Plaprad]

I honestly don't even like Disney. But I've been in a few homes like theirs. My reaction... "Cool, you like Disney." I'm hoping they stuck their guns on this and didn't change a thing. The icing on the cake would be for the next few months everyone talking about the "Cool Disney house" their friend got married at.

[@bloonh8tr619]

I understand the depression. I failed my first term in college and i was so stressed and depressed i procrastinated meeting with counselors thinking i would be kicked out. But i forced myself to go and forced myself to study and with the support of my mom i only need three more terms to graduate University, and im happy again. So glad OP is there to help them out.

[@ellicerslavic]

Might sound weird from an internet stranger but I'm proud of you, I hope you are proud of yourself too! Your persistence in the face of struggle is admirable, glad to hear you're happier!

[@bloonh8tr619]

@ellicerslavic not weird at all. Thank you, I appreciate the kind words. Hope you have a lovely day!

[@jameshutchinson2817]

The bride knows people will be more interested in the disney decor then they are of fawning over the groom and her. It always cracks me up when people thibk everyone is as invested in their wedding as they are

[@HaleyJo1992]

Yeah, 90s BMWs are very desirable, especially fixed up. OP probably saw it spruced up and knew he could make bank on it. I hope he actually let her keep it and didn't say that just to get reddit off his back.

[@RealJacior]

I dont get this take anywhere here. He gave his son a trade school grad present. He didn't give him anything for high school graduation? And like, the fact he even got her a car to use is going above what he did for his sons college life it looks like? He didn't help the son pay for any college, why is the daughter entitled? Because she got into a better school?

[@laurenevers8644]

RealJacior Yes, obviously you don't get it. And instead of trying to understand it you hyper-focus on one single point in as many comment threads as you can without taking any other point into account :/

[@chasefrost1401]

For the second story, if theres any memorabilia thats actually valuable, get the chemical toilets. I doubt they know everyone that their sister invited.

[@Sherwoody]

I had friends, they’ve since moved away, that were huge sci-fi fans. Walking into their house was like a visit to an mini Comic con before Comic con existed. Movie posters, a full sized cutout of Worf, flying saucer lamps, the works. So if someone enjoys Disney decorations, who cares. Also keep in mind how many people have sports memorabilia of their favourite team as decor.

[@Plaprad]

This is a serious concern. I don't have anything super expensive, but I have a few things I've collected worth a good bit more than they appear. I always get nervous if someone I don't know is in my house.

[@chasefrost1401]

Which is why I think the nicer portapotties are a good idea. Prevents any stress down the line of having to deal with theft.

[@JoJoGranum]

I’m expecting my 14 yo son to be still living with me as an adult. Things are hard nowadays and this has been going on since my generation (x) were in their 20s.

[@jay2thaudy]

Hey waffle gang! My wife and I just bought our first home this week! We're so excited!! It's been a really rough 8-9 months so it's awesome to have some positive news!

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Awww congratulations so happy for yall🤗🤗💜💜

[@OhHeyItIsNano]

Ayyyyyy congratulations my guy. 😎👏 Edit: I hope y'all make some good memories despite the rough times. 🙏

[@pugsabi]

That's awesome! Congratulations! It's so nice to come home to your own place every night.

[@baileymch7088]

That's so amazing so happy for yall

[@juanrangel3535]

Good for you buddy

[@habituallearner7680]

The father of the year OP in story three will be making surprised Pikachu face when daughter goes NC (And he still won't figure out what he did wrong probably for the kids' whole lives .)

[@RealJacior]

I dont get this take anywhere here. He gave his son a trade school grad present. He didn't give him anything for high school graduation thats worth mentioning?

[@davidnash8208]

@@RealJacior They don't want to listen, they prefer going the sexism route.

[@wildblue0]

Story 2: If the only reason guests would have to go in the house is the bathroom, that's an easy solution... She can rent port-a-potties. Story 3: What an AH. If he insists on selling it, she deserves first refusal.

[@drako8343]

Idk any college students that can afford market price for a used car in this current economy.

[@wildblue0]

@@drako8343 Her upgrades are a large part of the new price, so what she's spent on it already should count. Decent parents aren't supposed to profit off their kids anyway.

[@TziporaRaphaella]

Mark- you crochet?! I don’t really use social media outside of KZbin these days but that geeked me out. Congrats on your scarf! I picked up crochet myself this year and have been doing a lot of crafting to cope with a really traumatic and difficult time in my life. I started watching lots of KZbin too because I found I didn’t cope with silence so well anymore. So I wanted to thank you for being one of the voices keeping me company and making my life just a little bit better. I’m working on my first blanket right now. It’s going to be queen size. I’m homeless living in a hotel right now with my cat and a lot of complex medical issues but dreaming of the day I finally get my life more stable and have my own bed to put the blanket on and I’ve made lots of punch needle and needlepoint and Diamond dot crafts to hang on my walls. Crafting to survive but also to keep the dream alive of what I’m fighting for. Probably oversharing but after all the times I’ve heard you say “a bit of crochet?” And hearing you were crocheting too. I just had to cheer another crochet newbie along. I know you’ve shared so openly about your own life and depression and family. I hope you find as much comfort and solace in your crochet as I am. ❤

[@LaineyBug2020]

Story 1- Most decent apartments won't rent to you unless you can prove their rent would only be 1/3 of your combined income, you have their target credit score or higher, you have a history of renting somewhere else and/or at least have had utilities in your name that have a good payment history. What they could do to help them to start building that history is switch the current utilities to their name and have them start paying them. Another thing that would help would be to have a legal tenancy agreement drawn up and decide on a fair amount of rent for them to pay each month, I'd think 1-2 hundred in addition to the utilities would be fair. A third option, and I do mean the optional part (it also may help them and the wife not to think of the 1-2 hundred as rent), keep that amount in a separate high yield savings account that makes money off the market (there are different kinds depending how much risk you want). When they go to interview at the next apartment, they use you as a landlord reference, have the history with utilities in their name that will also boost their credit score. If they get it, and you chose option 3, you sign the account over to them to help whatever they need or continue to save if they're smart, and can save towards a house. Also have them look into low income housing, they may be able to find a rent to own situation on an actual house and skip the apartment. *edited for typos

[@markiusgalfordii9248]

The first story you just gave your daughter the best kick in the butt she needed. They both needed it. And that's why now they are trying to find better work so they can leave. If you did not bring this up they would still be in the same place as they were sometimes we all need that little push in the right direction to help us.

[@juliearmfield2634]

Sometimes the best thing you can do for a person is give him a swift kick in the butt to get them moving

[@markwalker4823]

Story 3! What a AH that dad is a piece of work! His double standards and mental gymnastics are phenomenal! That girl will end up justifiably hating dad and brother!

[@RealJacior]

But... the sons car was for graduating trade school? And he's 28? The 18 year old who just graduated high school deserves a car more than her brother... why? The daughter is really entitled to think just because Dad bought brother a car recently for school related stuff, she'd get the same. Its not the same situation at all. If she just graduated college and he didn't buy her a car, sure I'd say favoritism but this is just not... rewarding her for graduating high school... which isn't why her brother got a truck It was always agreed he was going to sell it, if she wanted to put work into it and talk about buying it from her dad sure, or maybe as a graduation present

[@gigga143]

S3: idk how this dad could possibly think he’s not the AH. it’s clear he favors his son. i hope the daughter goes NC cause it’s clear he really doesn’t care about her.

[@Sherwoody]

If you look up A**hole in the dictionary, OP’s face is there.

[@TheFlowerchild712]

The crazy thing is it will probably fall to the child he shafted to care for him when he needs it. His golden child certainly won't do it!

[@RealJacior]

But... the sons car was for graduating trade school? And he's 28? The 18 year old who just graduated high school deserves a car more than her brother... why? The daughter is really entitled to think just because Dad bought brother a car recently for school related stuff, she'd get the same. Its not the same situation at all. If she just graduated college and he didn't buy her a car, sure I'd say favoritism but this is just not... rewarding her for graduating high school... which isn't why her brother got a truck It was always agreed he was going to sell it, if she wanted to put work into it and talk about buying it from her dad sure, or maybe as a graduation present

[@davidnash8208]

@@RealJacior Exactly.

[@TarisLuna]

Story 3 YTA Op is clearly favoring the son. Even if he would let his daughter keep the car and put it in her name, he's favoring his son, simply because he got a brand new one for him and an old one for her that needed extensive repairs.

[@RealJacior]

But... the sons car was for graduating trade school? And he's 28? The 18 year old who just graduated high school deserves a car more than her brother... why? The daughter is really entitled to think just because Dad bought brother a car recently for school related stuff, she'd get the same. Its not the same situation at all. If she just graduated college and he didn't buy her a car, sure I'd say favoritism but this is just not... rewarding her for graduating high school... which isn't why her brother got a truck It was always agreed he was going to sell it, if she wanted to put work into it and talk about buying it from her dad sure, or maybe as a graduation present

[@messinalyle4030]

I'm about half over how embedded it is in Western culture, especially America, to assume from the jump that people who don't seem to be getting anywhere are lacking motivation. When are people going to grow some sense and some compassion and start thinking as their first thought, "So and so doesn't have their own apartment yet? Wonder if they are okay? Are they dealing with something I don't know about? Might there be something I could help them with?"

[@blakezummo264]

The moment I heard like equally instead of love equally in story three immediately gave away what kind of dad OP is

[@liabowden8526]

I feel like everyone is missing something about the last one. She was *Visiting* after finals. How much later is this?! One semester? One year? I can see why she's so surprised! How is she supposed to get back to school?! Is she working while in school? What about getting to work then?! I think he just realized he had a chance to make good money off all her work on it and jumped on it. And it also seems like he's trying to get her to fail. And even if all that wasn't true, I'm sorry, only give her *Half the Paint Cost?!* You MF! If she was on board for the sale you better effing give her her *Percentage*! You paid X-amt for car, she paid Y-amount in initial repairs & QOL additions (like the paint and the first deep cleaning). Whatever percentage Y is of X+Y is around what she deserves give or take a lil depending on any repairs needed before selling (as in she is responsible for repairing the Usage wear & tear). So yeah, completely TA. What a jerk.

[@Reikotsu]

Story3: the only thing he is teaching his kids is that he will reward bad behavior and punish if you thrive.

[@RealJacior]

Im sorry, what? He rewarded his one son, who already graduated high school, community College and now trade school with a car. So he rewards graduating college. The daughter... hasn't graduated yet? She just got through high school. She's just really entitled and whined to get a car that she thought she'd get to keep just because she put extra work in on her own dime. She's already getting more than her brother did then. Its not punishing her to sell the car he told her he was always going to sell

[@TheFlowerchild712]

The saddest part about the third story is that when he inevitably needs care, it won't be his golden child son, it will be the scapegoat daughter who steps up to care for him. And then when he dies, he'll screw her over again and leave everything to the son because he for reasons unknown doesn't love her.

[@RealJacior]

But... the sons car was for graduating trade school? And he's 28? The 18 year old who just graduated high school deserves a car more than her brother... why? The daughter is really entitled to think just because Dad bought brother a car recently for school related stuff, she'd get the same. Its not the same situation at all. If she just graduated college and he didn't buy her a car, sure I'd say favoritism but this is just not... rewarding her for graduating high school... which isn't why her brother got a truck It was always agreed he was going to sell it, if she wanted to put work into it and talk about buying it from her dad sure, or maybe as a graduation present

[@TheFlowerchild712]

@@RealJacior In the comments of post OP says he felt like he didn't owe her anything because she was sick as a child and he spent a lot of money on her illness so now he's gonna spend money on his son. As a person who from childhood has suffered and still suffers from chronic illness, this made me so sad. This girl didn't ask be be born sick. My parents may not be saints but they never made me feel like less for having chronic illness.

[@bgcorporation]

Story 1: Dad: "I think it's safe to say that everyone in the situation knows that they are freeloading." Also Dad: "They don't let us pay a single cent for any of their expenses, and they take care of every single personal expense they have." Me: "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."

[@alexanderhenby1362]

Dad used "freeloading" to mean "not paying rent"

[@drako8343]

@@alexanderhenby1362 don’t forget utilities

[@dcg590]

Princess Bride ref! They are freeloading

[@RuminatingRaptor]

@@dcg590 They really aren’t freeloading.

[@enkiimuto1041]

Guy doesn't set rent and then complains they aren't renting, basically. Also, notice how he mentioned the golden child is doing great but decided to leave the other daughter to be having sex in her home, with her soon-to-be husband (gasp!) but nothing about any of their history with depression. I wonder why she had the impression to that he called her a loser outloud at random.

[@themayhemofmadness7038]

OP in the last story says that there would be no reason for a college girl in a large city to own a car. She can just use public transportation, even late at night and just hope she doesn’t end up alone in a dangerous situation or place, open to attack because she had to depend on public transportation…. Oh, and just because he gave his son a new car doesn’t mean he needs to give his daughter a new car, but he is not going to give her money to help with her post secondary (college) education because he did not give his son help with post secondary education. So is he treating them equally/equivalently or not? Sounds to me like he is just making as many excuses as possible as to why he can and needs to help his son, while at the same time, can’t or shouldn’t have to help his daughter…. The favoritism is strong with that one….

[@RealJacior]

But... the sons car was for graduating trade school? And he's 28? The 18 year old who just graduated high school deserves a car more than her brother... why? The daughter is really entitled to think just because Dad bought brother a car recently for school related stuff, she'd get the same. Its not the same situation at all. If she just graduated college and he didn't buy her a car, sure I'd say favoritism but this is just not... rewarding her for graduating high school... which isn't why her brother got a truck It was always agreed he was going to sell it, if she wanted to put work into it and talk about buying it from her dad sure, or maybe as a graduation present

[@panicattheanimationstudio5673]

Damn I'm EARLY Story 1: maybe it's just me but like.... she doesn't really sound like a freeloader. A freeloader is usually someone who makes you pay for everything and they're paying everything but rent

[@peryton5258]

Same lol

[@swearimnotarobot3746]

Hi EARLY, I’m dad.

[@CatsandDragons7]

Right?? OP is like “they’re freeloaders! (Proceeds to describe how they are not actually freeloading)”

[@Sherwoody]

@@CatsandDragons7 I felt like after the update I was listening to Paul Harvey's, “and now The Rest Of The Story”.

[@dcg590]

Theyre total freeloaders. They’re adults and need to go

[@allisoncastle]

Man story #1 is sooo relatable. I’ve gone through the EXACT same thing (minus having a partner involved).

[@ScarletSerenade]

Story 2: I am sick to death of the bad reputation that Disney Adults have. When OP was explaining in detail how they’re Disney Adults but they can hold a conversation on topics other than Disney, I felt so bad for them because I’m in the same boat. I’m also a huge fan of the films and parks and decorate my apartment with Disney merch but it’s all very stylish and intentional. I hate having to overexplain when people ask about my hobbies and I tell them I like learning about the history of the Disney parks. But I’m well-versed in plenty of other topics and feel like I always have to make it clear that “I’m a normal adult, too”. Let people have their hobbies and fixations. There really shouldn’t be a stigma around this or any hobby, for that matter. I’m always of the mindset that when people tell you what they’re passionate about to hear them out and encourage it (as long as it’s not hurting themselves or others, of course).

[@momofboys6203]

I have never heard of babies turning up randomly. That statement made me laugh out loud. I knew what you meant but the way you said it was very funny to me. Thank you for the laugh and all the videos

[@luciferandassociates9255]

Story 3:... The Fuck dude?!

[@RealJacior]

But... the sons car was for graduating trade school? And he's 28? The 18 year old who just graduated high school deserves a car more than her brother... why? The daughter is really entitled to think just because Dad bought brother a car recently for school related stuff, she'd get the same. Its not the same situation at all. If she just graduated college and he didn't buy her a car, sure I'd say favoritism but this is just not... rewarding her for graduating high school... which isn't why her brother got a truck It was always agreed he was going to sell it, if she wanted to put work into it and talk about buying it from her dad sure, or maybe as a graduation present

[@gcarr1089]

Last story - daughter should get a brand new car seeing as she finished school just like son did when he got his. After all OP loves them equally or does he. Can't see anything to show he does.

[@AndyyWithAY]

A lot of people have to live at home as adults. Cost of living is completely out of control and the panini made housing prices out of control. But, they need to get full time jobs. 2 people should be able to afford it. I live at home right now but I pay rent and all my own expenses. They are just being lazy and not laying down the law is enabling them.

[@drako8343]

Yeah OP got guilt tripped into enabling them to a degree still

[@dcg590]

They need to go

[@MemristerBoogieDown]

…you know, my grandma always said never trust a sandwich. F-ing paninis f-ing everything up.

[@RuminatingRaptor]

@@dcg590 You need to go. You’re heartless. Hopefully you don’t have kids because you’d be a horrible parent.

[@RuminatingRaptor]

@@drako8343 That’s not what happened at all. Helping family isn’t enabling. I feel sorry for your family members, with someone who thinks a little help is enabling them. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

[@chasefrost1401]

OF COURSE SHE'S ATTACHED TO THE CAR SHE CANT AFFORD ANYTHING ELSE AND HAS SUNK WHAT LITTLE MONEY SHE HAS INTO IT. That father is a total selfish prick. What ever suits his percieved needs, is what goes. Ridiculous.

[@RealJacior]

But... the sons car was for graduating trade school? And he's 28? The 18 year old who just graduated high school deserves a car more than her brother... why? The daughter is really entitled to think just because Dad bought brother a car recently for school related stuff, she'd get the same. Its not the same situation at all. If she just graduated college and he didn't buy her a car, sure I'd say favoritism but this is just not... rewarding her for graduating high school... which isn't why her brother got a truck It was always agreed he was going to sell it, if she wanted to put work into it and talk about buying it from her dad sure, or maybe as a graduation present

[@chasefrost1401]

Well, I don't accept that. Even if they agreed on him selling that car, there's still clearly favoritism. A cheap messed up bmw will only go for like 5-6k, a brand new pickup for his HVAC work, which most is likely the largest truck, meaning it will be more expensive, which would be around 60-80k depending on the manufacturer. Give the fuckup brother the good stuff, and get something crap to shut their daughter up. It's coming off as though you're being defensive about this story. Yeah, make it nice and easy for the brother, and make the daughter work twice as hard when her father could've been helping out. Very big lack of support from this guy, does he even like his daughter?

[@AM-cv9fi]

OMG the last story. You can clearly tell the OP backpedaled hardcore when all the comments started coming YTA. Yeah, he clearly has a favorite and if I were the daughter I'd take him to court for all the repairs.

[@RealJacior]

But... the sons car was for graduating trade school? And he's 28? The 18 year old who just graduated high school deserves a car more than her brother... why? The daughter is really entitled to think just because Dad bought brother a car recently for school related stuff, she'd get the same. Its not the same situation at all. If she just graduated college and he didn't buy her a car, sure I'd say favoritism but this is just not... rewarding her for graduating high school... which isn't why her brother got a truck It was always agreed he was going to sell it, if she wanted to put work into it and talk about buying it from her dad sure, or maybe as a graduation present

[@Solarstormflare]

Hi Mark, i was able to help a pidgeon on the way to work. It was trying to get at a tiny bit of water in a bowl under a tap. I went to turn the tap on for it and obviously it flew away before i could get close, but once i moved away, it came back and had a proper drink 😀

[@My_scootie_world]

Posting 2 videos a day, even if not everyday, is impressive and hard work. Thank you.

[@CatLoverX74]

I’d tell the sister she can find another venue since my home is so horrible. No one is gonna care they have Disney items decorating the home 🙄 The sister and parents are being ridiculous! I have a ton of Disney stuff and I’m not hiding it from anyone. If anyone doesn’t like it oh well they don’t live here do they? So not my problem. If I was her I’d go to the wedding wearing mouse ears 😂

[@DameNickum]

I like your style! Perhaps mouse ears are just the beginning.😂😂😂

[@TheMarie2000]

Lmao 😂

[@giginewbern5162]

Story 2. I would send a text. We completely understand the Disney decorations are a deal breaker. We know u will find the perfect venue. Can’t wait to see it

[@HonorWillow]

Story 1: It makes me so sad how hard everyone came down on the daughter and fiance without any clue as to what it may be like from their perspective. It sounded like they were way ahead of me in regards of life progress. OP was the AH for how he talked about them and for jumping to conclusions. It's not hard to see that a lot of people in the same position will probably have a lot going on behind the scenes

[@dcg590]

Nope. The world does not owe them (or you) understanding. They’re adults. They’re freeloading big time. Idc what’s going on. Grow up You must be a millennial because us gen exers don’t want to hear it. Provide for yourself.

[@kichikitsu]

honestly! christ! OP is a huge asshole, but at least he has the moral integrity to feel bad about his assholeness once he actually listened to his kid. and the "I didn't mean to do that" in reference to calling her a loser... yikes. didn't even try to deny it, just "oops :(".

[@enkiimuto1041]

Thank you for the warning, i skipped the comments because it started to become pretty clear what was going on and I was pissed already.

[@HonorWillow]

@@enkiimuto1041 I’m glad you at least skipped past the rest. It got to me too as someone who is also 27 and doesn’t even have my equivalent of a tattoo selling side gig. Sending you well thoughts and look after yourself 💜

[@temari105]

OP is not a mind reader. Like it's up to the daughter and FSIL to tell them. Remember there's 3 sides to a story OP, Daughter and FSIL, and the truth

[@sherrygibbs7547]

Sister can have her guests remember her wedding, for the bank of outhouses they had to use. OP maybe shouldn't be letting guests into their house, "to use the bathroom," just in case some of the Disney memorabilia gets manhandled/damaged/stolen.

[@kerribottriell-baxter7345]

Story 2: "Okay sis, fine, if you have a problem with my Disney items IN MY HOME then you can find a different venue for you wedding" Sister: "Oh, but..." "No buts! If you're so insecure with what isn't even your home then find elsewhere"

[@jessiejeanne9717]

Dear narcissist parents: this is a couple of genuine questions- why do you have a favorite and when the scapegoat does exceedingly better, you screw them over? Like, how are you able to justify doing for 1, but not the other(s)? What kind of mental gymnastics is required to see that you've been fair and not see the blatant favoritism? Are you new to reddit? (Last question is because all the "golden children" grow up and end up being the wrong place to put your bet).

[@RealJacior]

But... the sons car was for graduating trade school? And he's 28? The 18 year old who just graduated high school deserves a car more than her brother... why? The daughter is really entitled to think just because Dad bought brother a car recently for school related stuff, she'd get the same. Its not the same situation at all. If she just graduated college and he didn't buy her a car, sure I'd say favoritism but this is just not... rewarding her for graduating high school... which isn't why her brother got a truck It was always agreed he was going to sell it, if she wanted to put work into it and talk about buying it from her dad sure, or maybe as a graduation present

[@enkiimuto1041]

7:09 you didn't expect because all you care is "chasing big things look at her sister!"

[@katie6731]

Comparing her with OP's other children was a red flag.

[@roowyrm9576]

My son and his partner of 6 years live in his partner's mother's house. His partner's mother, and younger sister also live there. All 4 of them are unable to work for genuine medical reasons. They all live on state benefits (UK). My son and his partner pay £500 a month rent, pay for most of the household groceries, and pay most of the other bills. Partner's mother uses her own money, and her youngest daughter money for herself, and is continuously asking my son and his partner for more money. They are desperate to find somewhere for themselves to live, on their own, to live their own lives but - 1. Private rents in our area are close on double their current rent for a small private flat (apartment) 2. They cannot get anywhere applying for social housing, since they "have a roof over their heads" 3. They both wish they could work, so that they can become independent, but previous experience has shown that physically and mentally it cannot and will not work for either of them 4. I live in a single bedroom flat, and simply do not have anywhere for them to stay. My daughter is in the same position, except she has a 2 bedroom house, for herself and her daughters 9yrs and 12yrs. She doesn't have space for them either. I wish I could wave a wand for them, but I can't.

[@demontoaster5670]

Debt can be really hard to deal with. Know that it isn't impossible, it isn't shameful to speak to people close to you for advice, do know that some people are zero help despite doing fine themselves. Not everyone can give advice.

[@gigga143]

S2: NTA. Tell your sister to find another location. who has issues with Disney decorations? honestly i’m judging anyone who would feel some type of way over seeing Mickey Mouse, Goofy, etc on someone else’s property.

[@guywhowatchesvideos-z2e]

20:00 - probably lying to reddit about not selling the car. Like the kinda person who claims they gonna donate to a charity then don't.

[@RealJacior]

Way to make a random assumption based on nothing.

[@rylashadow18]

S1) Some places have finicial understanding classes offered for free for those of low income/ unemployment. Some programs depending on where your based also run free training/job placement possibilities. There are job programs through shelters, Goodwill and with some even through their state. S2) This is where portapodies would be brought in. Everything would be moved to tents and she'd be told your house is no longer going to be accessible. She's getting your farm house for free when you could get a nice charge from someone who could give to less of a cares about there being disney stuff. Tell her if she brings it up again she's getting charged the full price of booking without access to your home. She can either accept your generousity or go pay to have it somewhere else. If she whines to your parents about your boundaries just say "I'm so glad you're going to help her pay for the venue she wants to go to cause she's no longer welcomed here. Do take your golden child and stay out of our lives yes?" S3) So let me see if I got this straight. You son is a failure to launch mooching bum who feels entitled to be rewarded for doing the bare minimum and gets it in the form of a brand new truck. Your daughter is hard working, career and educated driven and asked for your help only for you to turn her down. So how can you say you care for them equally when she's putting in the effort to earn what she wants only to be told she's not good enough by you? Have you always shown her that her brother is the golden child? There's no need for her to have a car in a city where there are rapist, muggers and all kinds of shady character who roam at night risking her safety? Dude do you like the hole your digging for yourself here? So to do the less then bare minimum she gets a used car in your name she pays to repair, restore, repaint and maintain only for you to take it, have it have more value thanks to her money being put into it (which I'm betting she paid more in maintence and repairs for it than you did in buying it) than want to sell it? Yeah you'd be so dead to me after that point. So? She still needs reliable transportation to and from school. She paid into this car at this point far more than you have and should be given it to put it into her name. Again just so I'm clear she had to pay for this cars repairs, maintence, upkeep, insurance, paint job and detailing and you think she's not entitled to that while also getting into school, keeping her grades up and possibly working to pay for these repairs. Dear lord I hope as soon as its in her name she cuts you out for good.

[@bookgirl2]

I often wonder about relationships like OP1's daughter. I question if it is healthy for the two of them to be together, or if maybe being together is holding them both back?

[@Mirtis66]

If this post was by another sibling talking about how mom and dad favor one kid and give them extra treatment because they claim mental health issues every single comment would be about how the parents should be fair and work to not coddle the other child.

[@SorenPenrose]

Story 3: yeah he’s the a-hole…but his inability to grasp that makes me wonder about his mental health.

[@RealJacior]

But... the sons car was for graduating trade school? And he's 28? The 18 year old who just graduated high school deserves a car more than her brother... why? The daughter is really entitled to think just because Dad bought brother a car recently for school related stuff, she'd get the same. Its not the same situation at all. If she just graduated college and he didn't buy her a car, sure I'd say favoritism but this is just not... rewarding her for graduating high school... which isn't why her brother got a truck It was always agreed he was going to sell it, if she wanted to put work into it and talk about buying it from her dad sure, or maybe as a graduation present

[@SorenPenrose]

@@RealJacior he did things for his son that he refused to do for his daughter and then sold the car while she was still using it. It was a dick move.

[@RealJacior]

@@SorenPenrose Um... what did he do for his son he didn't do for his daughter? He didn't buy his son a car put of high school... he didn't pay for his sons schooling... yeah it was a dick move not to mention it before he put it up for sale, but from whats here, getting a car for her to use is more than he did for the son at that age?

[@SorenPenrose]

@@RealJacior …right so you clearly failed math

[@WobblesandBean]

OP 3: YTA. Way to punish your daughter for being more ambitious and successful. That's not a diss on trade school, I think trade schools should be embraced and offered as a viable option to graduating high schoolers, not treated as a last resort. But you're CLEARLY favoring your son for accompling less. SHE fixed the car up. SHE gave the car the value it has. Don't be surprised when your daughter goes NC with you, I doubt an HVAC salary can pay for a decent care home for you when you're older.

[@RealJacior]

But... the sons car was for graduating trade school? And he's 28? The 18 year old who just graduated high school deserves a car more than her brother... why? The daughter is really entitled to think just because Dad bought brother a car recently for school related stuff, she'd get the same. Its not the same situation at all. If she just graduated college and he didn't buy her a car, sure I'd say favoritism but this is just not... rewarding her for graduating high school... which isn't why her brother got a truck It was always agreed he was going to sell it, if she wanted to put work into it and talk about buying it from her dad sure, or maybe as a graduation present

[@wendyh2708]

Daughter/SIL: For the love of god OP, take their credit cards away and cut them up or lock them up until they are paid off.

[@dm9078]

Why should they work? They have these ATMs to live off of.

[@MONKEYDZETS]

The wife is delusional she being one of those parents that will do anything for there child my dads like that I could move in today and he would never want me leave!

[@chasefrost1401]

Ah communication, never fails.

[@CircusoftheMoon]

So he bought his son a what $50-60K truck (at least) and his daughter got braces and a used BMW that she maintains? I wonder which child OP loves more? 🧐

[@RealJacior]

But... the sons car was for graduating trade school? And he's 28? The 18 year old who just graduated high school deserves a car more than her brother... why? The daughter is really entitled to think just because Dad bought brother a car recently for school related stuff, she'd get the same. Its not the same situation at all. If she just graduated college and he didn't buy her a car, sure I'd say favoritism but this is just not... rewarding her for graduating high school... which isn't why her brother got a truck It was always agreed he was going to sell it, if she wanted to put work into it and talk about buying it from her dad sure, or maybe as a graduation present

[@CircusoftheMoon]

@@RealJacior Even if you remove the coddled son and his bribe truck, sorry “gift”, OP is still the AH. He didn’t discuss it with her or give her the option of purchasing the vehicle. On top of that the money she put into it would’ve increased its value.

[@RealJacior]

@@CircusoftheMoon Where do you see coddled? Rewarding graduation? I guess sure. But it just looks like man hating when you make wild assumptions all over the place

[@CircusoftheMoon]

@@RealJacior I’m not repeating myself. “Man hating” lol I guess I hate myself. Nice try, though.

[@Crosby69]

People who are inept with finances should not be allowed to even make a credit card.

[@sparklemotion8377]

First story the father was right and him complaining about it turned on their pilot lights. That's a good thing.

[@HobieInTheBox]

Im a big anime and cartoons fan, if someone borrowed my home for free and then told me to take down my hobby stuff, they would no longer be borrowing my home for free.

[@catr5716]

Story 3: that girl needs to take that car and run. Her father is showing discusting amounts of favoritism. I would never speak to him again. What a jerk. He's only letting her keep it cuz of the push back from the internet. Still doesn't see where he's wrong. Just like, I guess she's attached to it now, so she can keep it. But I know those body styles are super desirable (still thinking selling it). Girl run.

[@RealJacior]

But... the sons car was for graduating trade school? And he's 28? The 18 year old who just graduated high school deserves a car more than her brother... why? The daughter is really entitled to think just because Dad bought brother a car recently for school related stuff, she'd get the same. Its not the same situation at all. If she just graduated college and he didn't buy her a car, sure I'd say favoritism but this is just not... rewarding her for graduating high school... which isn't why her brother got a truck It was always agreed he was going to sell it, if she wanted to put work into it and talk about buying it from her dad sure, or maybe as a graduation present

[@jenniferfoote5442]

Story 2: I am a lifelong Disney lover and at 54 yrs old i wear Disney shirts carry Disney handbags drink coffee out of Disney mugs collect Disney pins..i could go on but there is nothing wrong with adults loving Disney especially when it is within their own space Anyone who wants to be in your space can STFU and deal with it Lol

[@lulusinner]

Stories like story 1 always make me feel bad. I'm 25 nearly 26 I live at home and dont pay rent, I've been unemployed for a year and not trying to work currently. I suspect I'll live at home until Im at least 30 probably later. I can't imagine what reddit would think of me 😢

[@ettinakitten5047]

Story 1: I hate how all of the comments are taking for granted that adults living with their parents is a bad thing. OP didn't even raise any concerns other than a vague "I feel like they're not adulting properly" and everyone is basically agreeing with OP automatically. It used to be commonly accepted that some people just kept on living with family, going from care recipient to roommate/helper to eventually care provider for their parents. I think OP needs to have a conversation about this because clearly he and his wife aren't on the same page, but I don't think OP is necessarily in the right solely because his daughter is an adult living with her parents.

[@Violet-fj3lr]

I think this is a cultural issue. I come from a culture where children aren't expected to move out until they're married (they can and do move out sooner, but nobody gets the boot) so I know exactly what you mean about how it's a little shocking how widespread the expectation is that kids get shipped out on their 18th birthday and if they come back they're a loser. It can be stifling to live with your kids/parents when everybody is an adult, but it can also be a normal and healthy arrangement where everyone takes care of the house and each other.

[@jessilyngray1223]

The second story...my a star wars girl I love it. I'm also a mother of two in my late 30s and my kids like baby Yoda and that's about it (it's okay it's an in). For my birthday one of my besties got me a really cool purse with what looks like watercolor pastel flowers and Mando and boba Fett's helmet among the flowers. I love this bag! Was talking to my mom over video chat (we live on opposite sides of the country) and I showed it to her and she said "my god grow up already" when I said "why grow up like that? Why grow up and not have the joy it brings to me. By the way how is Dad's Lego collection going?"

[@TheSergio1021]

Buying one kid a new truck period makes them the favorite. Buying the other a beater and then have her pay for the repairs before putting it up for sale without prompt is adding the idea that you loathe your other kid even more.

[@Donald43]

Story 3 is one of those stories that OP clearly didn't proofread what they wrote and realised that they were TA after rereading it.

[@fallenmar9894]

What? She's attached toba car she put a lot of time and effort into to get it working and looking nice ??? Shocked!

[@RealJacior]

But... the sons car was for graduating trade school? And he's 28? The 18 year old who just graduated high school deserves a car more than her brother... why? The daughter is really entitled to think just because Dad bought brother a car recently for school related stuff, she'd get the same. Its not the same situation at all. If she just graduated college and he didn't buy her a car, sure I'd say favoritism but this is just not... rewarding her for graduating high school... which isn't why her brother got a truck It was always agreed he was going to sell it, if she wanted to put work into it and talk about buying it from her dad sure, or maybe as a graduation present

[@unicorn12345]

S3: I bet the daughter’s graduation present is going to be son’s old truck, and son gets another brand new one from daddy.

[@Nevertoleave]

Story one, before update. I would definitely suggest talking to them because they may not be as irresponsible or stuck as OP thinks without talking to them. They’re engaged, right? So why not assume they’re saving up for the wedding or a down payment on a house? There could be jobs or things going on in their life that they haven’t brought up because they don’t want to jinx it. If OP heard the daughter say they’re in a rut a better use of time would be brainstorming to see how they can get out of it rather than sink or swim.

[@kellywaters643]

oh no, they need more than 1 job that pays, they weren;t looking. my parents let me stay, as long as I was actively looking or employed