I Hate Life: The Video Game

[@Valefisk]

Play War Thunder now with my link, and get a massive, free bonus pack including vehicles, boosters and more: playwt.link/valefisk

[@nathaniellazo5912]

This will be fun!!

[@male07mdl]

no, mang, war thunder sucks

[@simonlolC]

the updates to warthunder break more then it fixes

[@Estebanf259]

hello

[@ortuluna]

Wart hunder

[@StarWarsGirl2011]

i love when vale doesnt even have to make the torture part himself, this time we can just thank the 1960s for that

[@ThefifthBishopofGord]

I think he should make his own game of life.

[@seventeen777]

​@@ThefifthBishopofGord I Love Life: The Video Game

[@hamper6511]

Vale's Game of Life

[@xekon14]

@@ThefifthBishopofGord there are no brakes on Vale's wild ride of life

[@builderbasti9773]

​@@hamper6511 screwing up the screwing up of the word hampster is on a whole other level of genius 🤯

[@AChamber]

Playing the Game of Life is the closest thing that these guys will ever get to touching grass

[@NM-wd7kx]

Unless there's a bit of green outside a the Inverness canine fertility clinic.

[@bunnybro1176]

317 likes with 412 views?

[@zaakoarolikin1643]

I'm allergic to grass That's no joke

[@theangrygermanlad1328]

@@zaakoarolikin1643 how…

[@NM-wd7kx]

@@zaakoarolikin1643 my ex used to get rashes from grass

[@JacobRabold]

i love how they just totally didn’t read the rules, you can’t land on the same space as one another, you have to move forward to the first open space

[@thesupported5430]

But it's no fun to play like that

[@garbaegpandea8074]

who the fuck plays Life like that? sure, the rules of monopoly also say 'Have fun' doesn't mean you are going to.

[@inval1dus3r]

How would that work with "Stop" spaces?

[@Epelpaj]

​@@inval1dus3r Because when you land on Stop, you then resolve the instructions and then roll again, therefore leaving the space open

[@GoodlyData86596]

@@garbaegpandea8074 rules are there to give you the most accurate experience playing the game as possible and to not leave anything up to “figure it out, asshole” Although it is your right as the consumer to ignore the rules that hinder your enjoyment of the board game. Also tbh that ability to ignore rules (with the consent of the majority/all players involved) is one of the few advantages board games have over video games. they also have the edge of being limited by only imagination, not hard/software.

[@flashbacker8935]

I love how with Vale, he will straight up make an entire new game to scare his friends, design a massive human board game to torture his friends, but when it comes to LIFE, nothing needs to be done, its already torture enough haha

[@timothymclean]

LIFE is the Civilization: Beyond Earth of board games.

[@Streetcleanergaming]

I remember a time when my dog played this game ( I gave her a piece and made her take every risky decision) and she won by millionaire tycoon. The number was chosen when she picked the 8th treat in a line of ten

[@trumpeterswan8175]

@@Streetcleanergaming the mental image I have of you and your dog playing life together is beyond adorable lmao.

[@ariustemod8481]

It isn't real torture if you are the one laughing at the end and vale is in pain.

[@tannerjw]

Vale is uniquely positioned in that he's both a sadist and masochist.

[@UtterlyShagged]

@@tannerjw that is what we call, a switch.

[@RusticGhost]

​@UtterlyShagged so that's why he's so relatable!

[@Ilias2]

@@tannerjw Sadomasochism.

[@jonaut5705]

@@tannerjwhe just enjoys all pain

[@lilytemel4036]

"If you get more than 4 children, just crowd them in as you do in real life." is an alarming line in the rulebook.

[@DiamondAppendixVODs]

I like how it completely disregards the law that says you shan't crowd more than 5 people in a car

[@janehrahan5116]

Based 60s America. Disregard laws!

[@Kjf365]

​@DiamondAppendix Seatbelts are a very recent invention, and an even more recent requirement by law. My mom and her family got into a crash when she was little, half the family were sitting freely in the back. No one died, but other than that it went as well as you'd expect. Edit: and the important part is that they did not get in trouble for those seating arrangements.

[@lilylohmann614]

Since seatbelts were invented in the 70’s, it makes a harrowing sort of sense

[@tealcorehedgehog2425]

If anyone needs a clear vision of this rule, pause at 9:15

[@IvanSidaruk]

Torture your friends by playing a stellaris multiplayer game with a map that is just a circle, one hyperlane wide that goes all the way around

[@Phonixfire]

Amazing idea, though it scares me. Especially once jump drives come into play.

[@nullclips3700]

It would be funny tho

[@hardcorelace7565]

​@@Phonixfire jump drives would jump you like 3 systems so It wouldn't even be very advantageous

[@rebelgaming1.5.14]

​@@hardcorelace7565 yes it would. Imagine avoiding an entire enemy fleet with jump drives to circumvent their defenses.

[@Phonixfire]

@@hardcorelace7565 It would also mean that your fleet no longer has to travel 10 years in a loop around the galaxy. Suddenly defenses that where safe aren't.

[@sirllamaiii9708]

>Gets hit by tornado >Instantly made 10 years younger if only

[@Deliveredmean42]

That reminds me of that one episode of Courage the Cowardly dog.

[@lankymaccrazyhair264]

Let me know if this opportunity in 8-12 years, i might be interested in that when I'm in my thirties, but i sure don't want to go through puberty again.

[@X-SPONGED]

I love the surprisingly complex improv lore built from this Life session. Dyno is the American mathematician who broke Vegas and then the Stock Market before writing an article about it for the press, because in this timeline he's also an investigative journalist. Currently, he's hot on the trail of an alleged communist CIA mole, "Lee Teddy Oswald" who has been making a lot of money from very questionable sources. Famous paintings, stock market shares, all highly untraceable sources of income, and his response to Dyno's exposé piece? *_"I am a businessman doing business"._* Truly one of the life moments of all time.

[@godzillaworks4585]

American mathematician Edward O. Thorpe was my favourite character

[@Saltyoven]

That's legit like 99% of how to actually make the game of life fun.

[@Jgamer-jk1bp]

Basically turn the game session into a story with LOREEEEEEEE.

[@kittyshippercavegirl]

the only way to make the game fun is to make the game lore

[@Virtrial]

My most memorable line this video is telling Vale to use his shield potions lmao

[@karkatvantas978]

Hey it's the funny guy

[@godzillaworks4585]

​@@karkatvantas978thank you for your input on the situation karkat vantas homestuck

[@50_Foot_Punch]

Nah it was the stench farm qoute I believe Lynx said

[@Virtrial]

@@50_Foot_Punch I said MY most memorable quote this video; not Lynx's most memorable quote this video

[@justindieterich1773]

The fact that somewhere there's a school out there using Gregor Samsa bucks as legal tender is hilarious to me. Next there will be an initiation to a fraternity where you have to win Crypt.

[@theapexsurvivor9538]

With default options turned on, and a follow-up hazing ritual of Crypt w/ Friends where everyone is gaslighting you.

[@Finamajig]

Pros of being friends with Valefisk: -Friend group to play board games with Cons of being friends with Valefisk: -Torture

[@AmandaDavis6130]

I half expected the Cons to just be “Friend group to play board games with” 😅

[@Candybust]

Pro - Me Con - Teddy

[@Finamajig]

@@Candybust Would you candy, make the statement that Teddy classifies as a threat to all life on Earth?

[@Candybust]

@@Finamajig yes

[@Finamajig]

@@Candybust Thank you for that statement Candy; I’ll be submitting it to the UN for consideration

[@zanewolf2509]

The fact that teddy is both Sal-Adin and Teddy Roosevelt makes me laugh every time.

[@axolotlsupremacist4831]

He’s a business man doing business

[@shamasmacshamas7135]

I am *delighted* that you guys have heards of Campaign for North Africa. I think you could make an entire video from just looking at the rulebook and riffing on it ('Italian Pasta Rule', 'Rommel', etc.)

[@ya1dnif]

I got so excited when he said that, I really hope we get a video on the game in some form.

[@sfrinzi429]

👀

[@dynamo8846]

Theres been many jokes made, the funny is over now though, its now pain

[@DiamondAppendixVODs]

in that flash screenshot, it says 1500 hours, that can't actually be true though, right? That's longer than I have in any one videogame, lifetime

[@iplaygames8090]

​@@DiamondAppendixVODs 15 hours per 1 turn and the games has 100 turns

[@lionbryce10101]

The game of LIFE is a great allegory for real life. You get very little input and unless you get the opportunity to change your path you're probably pre-determined to be poor

[@theapexsurvivor9538]

"...and have a terrible time waiting for it to just be over already" let's not forget that part

[@Waffle4]

Vale I'm begging you, I promise on my life that I would legitimately unironically enjoy watching the entirety of the uncut version of both insane monopoly playthroughs. Please release the full version, I've been waiting. I need it. Please. I am 100% serious and certain in my decision.

[@simplyydream]

Yess I would also like to waste my life away watching hours of monopoly

[@dontshootmex5588]

I second this

[@cubergo]

We need the Snyder cut!

[@ninj2798]

Full uncut version of them playing Campaign for North Africa

[@hooliganhandful1564]

I would as well, PLEASE DO!

[@josephschultz3301]

I love that everybody in this group is highly familiar with world history just so they can be bigger goblins to each other xD

[@J_Pawsadas-PTSDEnjoyer]

vale, one time i got drunk with random people in the restuarant at a furry con's hotel's lobby. afterwards i went to the apartment of a girl i just met, ate an edible, and played a board game called "therapy" where me and the rest of these strangers psychoanalyzed each other using only the info we had learned while drinking together. i highly suggest you find a version of therapy and force your friends to play it, too.

[@katethegoat7507]

Man I want that

[@Кто-то621]

What a surprise to find another furry (probably a furry)!

[@J_Pawsadas-PTSDEnjoyer]

@@katethegoat7507 i envy my past self too tbh, one of the guys there was loaded and paid for... now that i count, $50-ish dollars worth of fancy cocktails for me.

[@katethegoat7507]

@@J_Pawsadas-PTSDEnjoyer yeesh invite me over next time

[@QuinnArgo]

That sounds amazing, you have any idea where I can get that therapy game?

[@tristanstefanovic]

"we gotta do this in 15 minutes" Narrator: It would not, in fact, take 15 minutes.

[@Ian-qu6mg]

I just realized that Vale made 2 mistakes in this video. His second mistake was when he gained $10k for the shrunken head instead of paying for the museum to accept it (then again he can't read so who can blame him, 26:40). The first mistake of course was playing the game in the first place

[@Winasaurus]

Actually he made 3 mistakes. He didn't drink his shield potions when he picked them up, which is much more relevant to the game of life.

[@sofiyums]

This is easily my favorite genre of video at this point

[@hyun-shik7327]

They should make a new life game where as you age over the course of decades, the references and amounts of money move with the game.

[@theapexsurvivor9538]

Every decade the money you get goes up 50% and the money you pay goes up 150%

[@enderboy1824]

22:57 the pure mild rage from Vale yelling “ITS A SPINNER!!” Is delightful

[@mischiefwargaming]

If I only learn one thing from this video; it's that Teddy is a Businessman doing Business. Totally not a CIA operative.

[@PerfectZeroMusic_]

Vale might be calling it filler content. But for me this is still content that i can rewatch like 5 times before it starts losing its value!

[@PixelRockett]

Only 5? Chump numbers, I can watch it TWENTY times before it starts losing its value!

[@Guile_The_Exile]

The original game of Life being a game that literally plays itself is an ironic analogy thatbis not lost on me... Life plays out whether you want it to or not, but it keeps going forward and waits for no one. It's up to you if you wanna take a chance and participate in it.

[@jakeking974]

Gotta love when Maivi devolves into a schizophrenic episode, just slowly succumbing to the voices that say "Do it. You know where they live. You can kill them all before the game is over. Just do it, you know you want to" because I definitely believe Maivi would succumb to those pokes. I mean, she regularly wants to make Vale unalive, so it's not a far stretch of the mind.

[@whimsicality_index]

Does she actually have schizophrenia??

[@toaferon1822]

I can't believe we got to finally see, not only the years-old prophecy of Vale playing Fortnite be fulfilled, but also the unexpected but undeniably satisfying conclusion to the GeoGuesser saga. What a time to be alive! And he calls this 'filler content' pshaw

[@TheOnlyVee]

Not sure if its on the workshop but theres a game called midlife crisis that we played once in a PSHE class in school nearly a decade ago and its not torturous but the tiles you can land on are absolutely insane and you should definitely look into it

[@duncanquan5471]

with the title, I assumed Vale had gone and made a version of the game of Life, which is called I Hate Life, it would line up with the previous board game experience of vale.

[@EclipsaMyrtenaster]

Some clarification, Vale. Uranium doesn't glow in the dark. It glows under a black light. What you're thinking of is Radium which does glow in the dark (even more so if mixed with Phosphor). That's why they're in old clocks/watch dials and paint

[@St3lla-MaR1s]

Valefisk can somehow make the most mind numbing game into something somewhat entertaining

[@richodude5455]

7:42 fun fact, the first card counting system wasn't published until 1962, and the Hi-Lo system didn't come out until 1963, meaning the imaginary character would've had to win some other way since the game was published in 1960. Regular slots didn't pay anywhere close to $50k and the first ever wide area progressive slot (one linked with similar slots across the country with jackpots over $1 million) didn't come out until 1986. Table games did not offer high enough payouts, since you would likely play more than 1 hand of blackjack or 1 spin of roulette on a Vegas trip. That means our imaginary character most likely was playing live keno for $2 and managed to match 9 of 9 numbers on his card paying exactly $50,000. Odds are about 1.4 million to 1

[@mynameisntpatrick1476]

Hahaha omg the nostalgia. My dad had this 60s version of Life and we used to play it as kids decades after it was published. Its the superior version. Absolutely unforgiving.

[@Donteatacowman]

When I was a kid, the goal of the game of life was to buy unwanted children off other parents and collect them. Ideally enough so that they had to have their own car. And now I'm an adult looking to adopt foster kids 😂 I promise, LEGALLY, and not a full dozen.

[@Urpuss]

30:00 I know the site he's talking about! You can find similar once for The Office, Seinfeld, It's Always Sunny et.c. Generally also with the cut-content from episodes added back which normal streaming sites don't have, it's great!

[@christophervanoster]

Vale doesn’t even need to change life to make it a torture game 😂

[@timothymclean]

LIfe is truly the _Civilization: Beyond Earth_ of board games.

[@tristanlee8495]

That 1960 version is literally the one I have at home, box cover, green plastic hillocks and everything. It's my dad's from when he was a kid, it's crazy seeing it in this video.

[@xm-1-24-b4]

It’s weird that the campaign for North Africa takes around 25% of the time to complete that the longest Minecraft modpack takes to beat on average. GTNH is a hell of a thing

[@tillsoppa9806]

this man really needs a vod channel. i wanna see the whole sitting

[@zhubwat]

Dear Valefisk, I liked the buttplug joke at 3:20 I thought it was funny even though it was just a passing remark before the game even started, The humour in that joke had a lot of layers that I choose not to penetrate into too deeply as it would be slightly uncomfortable to describe in great detail, but I liked how meta it was. Sincerely, Moses

[@thevocatiousunspeakables709]

Bro, this is a youtube comment section. You don't need to sund eloquent...

[@jakeking974]

Interacting with CIA operatives is so weird. Our old neighbor (we moved last year) was a former operative and he would occasionally reference experiencing the intense cold of desert nights and having to remain motionless for hours or even days. He was a nice guy, but he basically radiated an aura of "I could kill you long before anyone can call the cops" that made him intimidating despite his biggest hobby being maintaining his yard and garden. Only time I ever saw him mad was when he talked about wanting to shoot the rabbit that had been eating his vegetables.

[@Candybust]

And he finally fulfilled the 100k subscribers prophecy....

[@convexpolygons3816]

A monthly episode of Campaign for North Africa would be amazing.

[@green_2159]

This is a mythic game. Legendary, all skulls on in all ways.

[@calebcamrud4648]

This is actually the version I played growing up. The recreation is very accurate, green rocks included.

[@revolutionstudios5052]

17:08 And some say you can distantly hear the distinct sounds of a corpse thrashing at 35,000 RPM inside the grave of Huey Long.

[@iwa12354]

About the ending. You DID spend time with your loved ones, you DID experience the life to the fullest. Laughing with friends, doing stupid sh*t. That's what life is about and it brings tons of joy and happiness.

[@chad3166]

I played this with my wife once, i had no kids, and kept landing on the space where you have to donate to the orphanage if you have no kids, and that space is right before the toll bridge, which is right before a move backwards space

[@Winasaurus]

The 1960s really said "Poor + no kids + slow + L"

[@blix17]

My dog died today, but another valefisk board game video is a step in the right direction to help my sadness.

[@lucifersatan8240]

24:42 Well according to the satisfactory video it can only have been Maivi.

[@sarkhan_guy]

Oh hey another part in my favourite reality show "Valefisk and friends voluntarily torture one another".

[@tac6557]

Damn, I really needed this vid rn, my life's coming down around me and this grants me at least a little bit of escape

[@vanadis2420]

It’ll get better eventually, man. Although I do agree that Vale’s content js the best for having a breath of fresh air in the middle of a… difficult life.

[@AMasondude]

You will survive, use it

[@aaronhelmsman]

You need to make your own version, with punishments and skill challenges

[@virtualcarrotman732]

I remember loving the 1960 version of Life, I played it all the time with my Grandparents at their house when I was little. Bad game, good memories.

[@dasamont8274]

Been watching your 24 hours halo stream these last few days, and my head is getting to be pretty full of valefisk by now. Weird coincidence that you would upload right now though

[@NovelPond]

Ah so you have heard the word of the prophet then

[@dasamont8274]

@@NovelPond Maybe, if you mean the quote "I need a weapon" and the prophecy of Vale's second account NovelPond, which people should definitely subscribe to for groundbreaking content

[@l_spagal7649]

This is pretty much the version I've played so hearing y'all talk about things from what I assume is the version everyone else has played is wild.

[@Anikat-ox4pn]

my family has a version of the game of life from 1978! it made me cry when i was 6 cuz i kept on getting this pea fog space that sent you back to start.

[@MarkoIronFist]

I tested the claim that life requires little player input and turns out there were 10 total player inputs for the whole game.

[@StardustCorvid]

I can't believe M-Preg is canon to the Valefisk Cinematic Universe™

[@IsiahTomas]

0:07, "Not the elephants!"

[@Mylifeintechnicolor]

Would love to see a Valefisk edition of Life, with all the BS tiles and punishments.

[@witherblaze]

Maybe with cues from NRB

[@fredrickatchison4542]

You're in luck

[@colin9164]

I actually HAVE the 1960 edition of Game of Life that was made from that time. Came in a cool wooden case too. I never even knew there was another version of the game until I around 16.

[@iankemp2627]

34:28 "You know this game has a supposed time to play of 60 minutes?" yeah but that playtest wasn't done with 6 muppets :p

[@zainmalik1872]

This is the first time I've heard Valefisk suffer from his own toture session

[@roasted_fish]

It's always a good day when there is a new valefisk video

[@curlytop3194]

This is the exact version of the board game my parents still have in the basement. I always liked stacking as many blue and pink pins in the little cars as possible more than I liked actually playing the game.

[@toshavanopstall6746]

Came for the Game of Life, stayed for the final resolution of the Completely Rigged Geoguessr Tournament

[@howdytherestranger2139]

I want vale to make everyone play 5d chess with multiverse and time travel

[@elliotli]

I wonder if theres ever going to be a point where everyone in these videos is going to require reimbursement for the psychological torture he puts them through

[@Rorek0fNol]

I like how everyone puts themselves behind the wheel on different sides!

[@sn8wball]

“A nugget of finest green!” I fucking love black adder so much, thank you vale

[@LynxHylix]

waste of time

[@eggdoo]

very worthwhile im not sure what you mean

[@etherdeef4303]

He loves it

[@Theo.Grayson]

WHY WAS MY FIRST THOUGHT "wow! the graphics are pretty good for a video game released in the 60s!"

[@hashem6356]

😅 this puts a tear to my eye. Although I don’t know if this is joyful tears or tears for the misery your friends are gonna go through

[@samuelmalaby7498]

Hey, I actually have this version of the game! good memories playing, though that was mostly due to the people I was playing it with.

[@bongosbongos]

Valefisk in a month making the Game of Death:

[@Samuel115]

I live for these videos right now~ thanks again for great content!

[@vincentbarwell5943]

If i ever get arrested I shall now say "I'm a business man doing business things"

[@woomod2445]

"You make no choices and it's an entirely luck based." ahhhhhh, yes, that does sound exactly like life.

[@MisterFribble]

At some point we need the full, uncut recording of this masterpiece.

[@sharplydressedrabbit3604]

There's nothing I would love more than a Campaign for North Africa playthrough. The ultimate form of torture.

[@echomjp]

Wonderful! Another wonderful addition to add to my collection! My collection of videos which allow me to live vicariously through the suffering of you and your friends! My thanks.

[@moredac2881]

I like how this isn’t even a torture game. This is just an old version of the Game of Life. No twist. Just play a regular board game lol

[@ChaosMind55]

I thought they were going to play the really old one, where you could die.

[@unslept_em]

can't wait to watch the campaign for north africa! i'll be sure to set aside a couple weeks to watch the edited video

[@NLRAspect]

10:20 what an exceptionally based Blackadder reference. Don't hear enough of those nowadays.

[@jumpgecko]

“I need to sleep immediately. As soon as my head hits that pillow I’m out.” HOLY SHIT BOYS NEW VALEFISK VIDEO 😈

[@creditsunknown7974]

40:05 Amenmemant the III before a flood

[@cheyannegiles9772]

Text color Vale: white Candy: blue Dyno: Purple Teddy: yellow Novel: light green Maivi- pink Temod- jade (?) Lynx- light blue

[@lukaskubik4698]

A journalist causing things like JFK assassination and the Watergate to sell articles is definitely a theory no one has spearheaded yet, but I'm 100% in support of it.

[@hedgeearthridge6807]

The Game of Life, from 1960. Life, in 1960. Good lord. I see why it's agonizing

[@AndGoatz04]

congrats vale, among the pain of life, you are the only person who i've watched play a full round of fortnite

[@woost1678]

How did I not realize I've only played the 1960 version until watching this video...

[@irithylldragon]

i clicked on this video and, after five minutes, realised "this isn't Torture Game of Life, this is *Old* Torture of Life" and i'd been watching it at the point where i stopped watching it last time. great video thank you galefisk

[@Maplefrog7]

at 3:00 i have the 1960 version and can confirm that, that space does exist

[@TJ_4870]

After 3 months of watching this I realised, this isn't a torture video. This is literally just the 1960s game of life.

[@MrsProudlyCanadian]

All Vale content is the best content. And honestly I think this version might be better than modern-day Game of Life. At least this has some variety

[@Rosfuture]

the backstories that come into beeing are the best part!