I have a REAL PROBLEM with the self help or self care industry...

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Kati Morton

Kati Morton

Жыл бұрын

Hey, I wanted to have a real honest chat with you about the self care industry. Some of you may ask, well aren't you in the self care industry? And yes, perhaps you could technically say that. But my focus has always been to provide free educational resources here on KZbin for those who are unable to access some of the higher priced mental health resources that are offered. The real problem that I have, which I talk about in this video, is at large the industry as a whole that requires high costs for resources. And also, the self help or self care books, tools, workshops, podcasts, seminars that promise grandiose results all by spending a certain amount - and without backed research and professional training. There is also the element of shame, which I talk about in this video. And how shame influences how we interact with mental health resources, therapy or therapists or counselors and the stigma that sometimes surrounds it. My goal isn't to make an exposed video or to expose the industry at large, because the self care industry isn't all good or all bad - and there are some great resources available. The truth is we live in a world where people try to capitalize on vulnerable people so we must watch out for toxic positivity conversations or fake gurus or grandiose problems all with the goal of payment or profiting off of you. It's just important to do your research on the people writing these books or leading these workshops or providing this information.
For more Kati Unfiltered videos where I take my therapist hat off and provide my real, honest thoughts about subjects mental health related: • I need a break...
I have to also share this video about when The Simpsons exposed the self help industry because it is too relevant not to share: • How The Simpsons Expos...
I also found this video helpful, The Toxic World of Self Help: Hustle Culture, Toxic Positivity, Addiction, and Fake Gurus: • The Toxic World of Sel...
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Пікірлер: 1 200
@ujalabashirch7469
@ujalabashirch7469 Жыл бұрын
I needed this so much. No one talks about how tough it is to do self-care when you are struggling with a mental illness. Thank you for always talking about realistic and relatable things❤
@snoozyq9576
@snoozyq9576 Жыл бұрын
There are definitely people who talk about this
@Struzzylive
@Struzzylive Жыл бұрын
Only not enough. I need someone I can talk through my struggles Sharing thiers, etc
@manicmode
@manicmode Жыл бұрын
Still millions of people, in rural small farm towns are isolated. Need help. But no money, so poor and no transportation for many. Places like Kansas etc.
@nytro-nick7660
@nytro-nick7660 Жыл бұрын
Advising people to take prescribed medication from legal drug dealers isn't realistic or relatable for me
@marraine7299
@marraine7299 Жыл бұрын
seconded
@onlyinsomniac
@onlyinsomniac Жыл бұрын
The monetization of human wellbeing has 100% become a monster preying on people desperate to feel happy and well.
@albussnape2
@albussnape2 Жыл бұрын
So true! The psychotherapy industry is also corrupted by corporatization, $$$ focus, online businesses like BetterHelp (which is not better help-it’s a big business all about profits). 😣
@call_in_sick
@call_in_sick Жыл бұрын
💯
@Katimorton
@Katimorton Жыл бұрын
Agreed.. it's so frustrating and sad. xoxo
@paulmaddison8556
@paulmaddison8556 Жыл бұрын
@@Katimorton Thanks for being brave enough to say this from your industry
@manzanitakatznellenbogen2870
@manzanitakatznellenbogen2870 Жыл бұрын
Not only is the question "are you happy?" rather "are you happy enough?" It's a nasty vicious circle...
@ciphersage93
@ciphersage93 Жыл бұрын
Open the camera app on my computer and recording myself talking about my feeling and then listening to me helps me to spot my own self deceiving mechanisms, and notice how much love that guy deserves.
@steggopotamus
@steggopotamus Жыл бұрын
Great strategy. Sort of a video journal rather than a regular journal.
@Martina_E
@Martina_E Жыл бұрын
I do a video journal too
@undomiel466
@undomiel466 Жыл бұрын
That's so sweet
@LauraAmanda8888
@LauraAmanda8888 Жыл бұрын
That's so sweet! The guy definitely deserves so much love ❤️
@ratelhoneybadger
@ratelhoneybadger Жыл бұрын
Wow! Thank you🙏🏾
@igeorgoudi
@igeorgoudi Жыл бұрын
Self care is not ( only) meditation, happy walks and cherrful smiles 24/7. It is setting boundaries, discipline ourselves to sleep , eat healthily, build mental health and workout habits, entering psychotherapy but most importantly respecting ourselves and others. Taking care of yourself became trendy but what the definition of it is has not been ardressed yet.
@Katimorton
@Katimorton Жыл бұрын
Yes!!! I love all of this and totally agree :) xoxo
@RainRemnant
@RainRemnant Жыл бұрын
Well said!
@paulmaddison8556
@paulmaddison8556 Жыл бұрын
Cheerful smiles is the main one, great point. Its about feeling better within yourself that is what mental health is all about. There is a danger the marketing blitz online is actually forcing people into depression etc rather than helping because of the way it is so rigid. Also don't forget this is a worldwide audience with different cultures and the main ages watching KZbin is 10=19 years of age. This all needs to be taken into consideration
@igeorgoudi
@igeorgoudi Жыл бұрын
@@paulmaddison8556 you are right about toxic positivity !
@Lenlenz21
@Lenlenz21 Жыл бұрын
This!! After my last relationship breakdown, I went through a period of depression. My therapist (at the time) asked me what I do for self care and I was stumped for an answer… she listed off things as simple as cleaning the house, tending to my basic needs… proper sleep hygiene..basic everyday needs that I was attending to (though struggling none the less) but never thought of them as forms of self love and self care.
@alexyssaubrie1606
@alexyssaubrie1606 Жыл бұрын
My problem with the self help/ self care industry is how they say that everything bad in your life is caused by negative thinking. I know that there is power in a positive mindset, but not everything that happens to you is your fault. Sometimes bad things happened and it puts the blame on the victim when you blame everything on having negative thoughts. We can’t control all our thoughts so it’s really harmful to tell people it’s possible.
@O_Cum_O_Cum_Emmanuel
@O_Cum_O_Cum_Emmanuel Жыл бұрын
You just put in words what I struggled for years to do so, thank you. it kinda saved me
@zendrox.von-laixer9192
@zendrox.von-laixer9192 Жыл бұрын
​@@O_Cum_O_Cum_Emmanuel ❤
@mariahconklin4150
@mariahconklin4150 Жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for this! I'm the stupid one for giving men a chance and then I meet predators it's exahusting then a woman has to tell me that these men are trying to get me to join their prawn club it's just sick. But stories like that that just make me sick these men are so far gone that they are predators it's disgusting. No wonder I don't trust anyone.
@mariahconklin4150
@mariahconklin4150 Жыл бұрын
My problem with mental health is that they will blame my parents for everything so I'm stuck hating their guts how does that help? I mean yes my parents suck and I feel abandoned but people have been raped by their parent's so the whole blaming the parents doesn't really work for me
@areuarealman7269
@areuarealman7269 Жыл бұрын
Yeah I don't buy the my thinking is not what society thinks I should be maybe I'm just crazy and don't think like a normie and don't care too I can pretend though good enough .
@sage9836
@sage9836 Жыл бұрын
I went from can't hardly get myself to move to self care queen, because after the most basic things, I let myself feel like I won a medal or climbed Everest. I had lemon water, a soft workout, breakfast, and a shower. Champion! It's hard to admit. I give myself a gold star every day! (And no one knows what I am smiling about.)
@Katimorton
@Katimorton Жыл бұрын
I love it!!! xoxo
@helenarichard
@helenarichard Жыл бұрын
Do you suffer from chronic illness?
@FabulousSquidward
@FabulousSquidward Жыл бұрын
Fuck yeah.
@JimmyJaxJellyStax
@JimmyJaxJellyStax Жыл бұрын
Yes! I pushed for a daily morning habit of taking all my vitamins and walking at-least 20mins every morning and a few months of this with about 98% consistency has led to much greater morning workout regimens and eating healthier too. The little daily stuff adds up so much - the healthy stress and efforts need our greatest priority to outweigh the inevitably toxic stressors life will present. I feel like I'm learning so much more about how the daily exercised engaged and respected body is our ultimate medicine for the mind and I've done occasional exercise for the past decade and yet really exploring how far it goes has revealed new benefits I didn't know existed for the mental health. For a relatively sound body, there's always so much more gas in the tank than we might think.
@kalismols606
@kalismols606 Жыл бұрын
Dang how cause I literally do not know how to get up im basically waiting to die
@zengamer21
@zengamer21 Жыл бұрын
Speaking of showers... my hot water has been out for about 4 days so I wasn't taking showers because the water was ice cold. Finally, this morning I decided to just shower at my gym. So, I took a shower when I got there, because working out after 3 days of no showers is not cool, and then another shower after the workout. That was a slice of heaven... the water was so hot and it just felt amazing.
@infinitedreaming222
@infinitedreaming222 Жыл бұрын
Ummm what did your grandmother do when there was no hot water….. she bathed 🧼 you better get in there stinky. Never allow others judgement motivate you to get gunk off your back 😂 you better do that for you
@Katimorton
@Katimorton Жыл бұрын
Yay!!! So glad you were able to get that shower and enjoy it :) xoxo
@zengamer21
@zengamer21 Жыл бұрын
@@Katimorton Kati! ❤
@MegInWhispers
@MegInWhispers Жыл бұрын
i do this too when i need a long hot shower / when our hot water heater was broken.
@TreesNotBeach
@TreesNotBeach Жыл бұрын
I don't have a shower/ bath at home. Pretty much never had. And that brings my mental health down. I try to go once a month to a sauna, wash myself. But it actually is hard, it doesn't feel good, it feels like another burden. Gather things, take 2 busses, pay, all that.... I often get super angry before I have to go, I throw things around, yell... And it's my parents fault that we don't have a shower. If I ever bring up the topic, my dad just gets pissed and I shut down. I can't move away, it costs too much.
@SurferJoe1
@SurferJoe1 Жыл бұрын
Living in clutter and chaos becomes an expression of depression, a cry of "I don't care and I can't cope". Something that has worked for me at times is to choose one easy task- say, all the unsorted mail on the coffee table, nine months' worth- and do just that one small thing while choosing tomorrow's similar one task and committing to it. As the chaos slowly recedes and the obstacle shrinks, you find yourself emboldened to doing a little more each day. Kitchen counter done, clothes sorted, work stuff put away, rug vacuumed...I did this once in the space of a week and the place just sparkled. My girlfriend walked in with me late on a Friday night and shrieked, her knees shook, she almost cried. It was a nice moment.
@bookFreak8191
@bookFreak8191 Жыл бұрын
Absolutely. This is one of the ways my depression manifested itself, but like you, I finally decided to just one on one tiny task at a time. Over the span of a couple of months, my home went from one of my biggest stressors to one of my safest havens. It sounds so cliche, but taking it one baby step at a time is often a great road to getting better.
@SurferJoe1
@SurferJoe1 Жыл бұрын
@@bookFreak8191 I'm long since back where I started, but need to get going again. Today's the day. Thanks for the inspiration.
@RainRemnant
@RainRemnant Жыл бұрын
It seems like a process too, more than "just" cleaning up the house, I've felt the last time I did that but did it slowly and good, something in me changed a bit too, can't even describe it but it could be like a therapy too, something you did yourself to be proud of instead of setting the bar too high and feeling you failed yourself. But now it's nice you can enjoy your cleared up home 😊
@fdocument2889
@fdocument2889 Жыл бұрын
Yes this is a known thing, Jordan Peterson mentioned tidy your room and Buddhism mentions cleaning and simple tasks. You mentioned nothing new in your comment but glad it helps.
@mollymcginnis5348
@mollymcginnis5348 Жыл бұрын
Its nice to hear someone else talk about something i struggle so much with. When im in that state, its like i dont even SEE the mess. Literally tunnel vision. And by the time you realize how bad youve let things get, you feel so ashamed that you just want to lay in bed and pull a blanket over yourself and pretend everything doesnt exist... you dont even want to show your face because it feels like everyone can just see through you and how much of a mess you are and the isolation just makes things worse .. hate it so much.
@positrondesign6514
@positrondesign6514 Жыл бұрын
When I find myself shit talking about my past failures I try to say - "Okay... I might have made a mistake in the past. I tried my best with the tools I had at that time. What can I do today to make tomorrow better?" I try to refocus on my future, instead of beating myself up for my past.
@manzanitakatznellenbogen2870
@manzanitakatznellenbogen2870 Жыл бұрын
I like this :)
@charlespancamo9771
@charlespancamo9771 Жыл бұрын
do you care more about that past stuff because other people's real or assumed perception of you?
@mr.hidden9242
@mr.hidden9242 Жыл бұрын
So basically, money is the root of all the problems. Sounds about right. I wonder how much of our collective stress would go away if we could get our basic needs met without worrying about finances. 😑
@kathleengivant-taylor2277
@kathleengivant-taylor2277 Жыл бұрын
I have thought and said this many times
@axeslinger94
@axeslinger94 Жыл бұрын
The fact that many people who aren't in political spaces can see this is all the confirmation I need that we all see the issues as they are now. Now it's time to change things.
@lindajung8556
@lindajung8556 Жыл бұрын
There was an interesting show on PBS over 5 years ago which discussed this and the studies linked to it. To put it in a nutshell: Poverty/ low income financial stagnation creates constant stress and misery because your basic needs are not met & no chance to take a vacation to recharge-(and you cannot meditate this stress away, no matter how much these self- help gurus preach about it). Contentment happens when you are doing well enough to be able to have your basic needs met plus the extras in life up to a certain income, having more money over that comfort income line becomes only emotional diminishing returns when it comes to happiness and contentment. So a certain amount of money does buy happiness up to a certain point.
@saramoldrup
@saramoldrup Жыл бұрын
@@lindajung8556 This makes so much sense. My dream is to be able to support my self and my family to have what we need, and be able to help friends and family with what ever they need to get their basic needs met.
@paulmaddison8556
@paulmaddison8556 Жыл бұрын
You can in the UK its called the National health service 😀
@rebeccajones9757
@rebeccajones9757 Жыл бұрын
Journaling is my low cost mental health task
@Katimorton
@Katimorton Жыл бұрын
I love it!! One of my favs too :) xoxo
@steggopotamus
@steggopotamus Жыл бұрын
I also love the youtube therapists. Not just kati. There's a few great therapists that got traction during covid and they have helped a lot of people fill in their mental health needs. Their wellness programs are optional. And you know what to expect because they have hundreds of videos for perspective. Patrick Teahan is a great youtube trauma therapist, for people to start with. He gives good journal topics to dissect your childhood.
@selfdiscoverysupport
@selfdiscoverysupport Жыл бұрын
I love the guided journals written by therapists that you can get on Amazon now. So helpful to go through properly guided care for 12 to 20 dollars. Those have helped alot for minimal cost.
@yousfiabdelali
@yousfiabdelali Жыл бұрын
@todd weiss just curious if you ever wrote morning pages as well?
@rebeccaoprea9917
@rebeccaoprea9917 Жыл бұрын
Sometimes the best self care is taking things off you’re plate . It’s hard going through life when it feels heavy and never ending .
@jsmithsemper4848
@jsmithsemper4848 Жыл бұрын
Bingo & always remember it won’t feel this way forever. It will get better!😊
@WisconsinWanderer
@WisconsinWanderer Жыл бұрын
Gosh Katie I can’t tell how much I needed to hear this video. I’m a 66 year old guy and have struggled most of my life with mental health issues, but since 2016 it’s really been super hard and to be honest I didn’t want to around anymore but thanks to your support and advice I’ve made it through that dark period! Self care for me is getting outside and spiritual guidance through nature that was crucial for me and helped save my life! Thank you so much 😊
@nicholaserwin988
@nicholaserwin988 Жыл бұрын
I just love that people say to people who commit suicide or people who have mental health issues...to reach out or why didn't they reach out....the MAIN reason is the damn expense. I would have gone to therapy over a decade ago if I could afford it lol
@mariarossi6719
@mariarossi6719 Жыл бұрын
Yes, I agree. And even friends and family often don’t have a clue how to support someone. They’ll often say invalidating things like “tomorrow’s a new day” or “come on. Chin up” etc. When this is the level of support, I can really understand why people just check themselves out of Planet Earth.
@M0101EP
@M0101EP 11 ай бұрын
Agree friend. In my country there is not enough therapists in the Healthcare system. That's also bad. No one chooses to feel bad
@christinedge7627
@christinedge7627 Жыл бұрын
Unfortunately a lot of my self care has to happen at work. I have come to the realization that my parents are one of my triggers. They are not outright abusive, but I keep connecting to videos and things about emotional neglect. Plus whenever I’m around I just have this uncontrollable instinct to hide my phone or hide what I’m doing, even if it’s nothing bad. I didn’t realize this was affecting my work until I found myself wanting to hide a mistake from my boss. My coworker told my to be straight with her. When I was, I almost broke down out of relief of not being in trouble over a mistake. Right now my Big Thing is putting a stop to the near-constant “I hate myself”, “I’m so stupid”, and “Just kill me”; and learning to love the parts of me my parents are not proud of. Because I’M proud of those parts.
@helenarichard
@helenarichard Жыл бұрын
Yeah it's nerve wrecking to make mistakes you never know if it can get you fired. But the more confident you are about it, the less it can affect you. You don't get fired for a small mistake. And even if they would do that, then you don't want to work there. I am deadly afraid of making mistakes and I realised it is because I studied law, but not only that, but I had a passive agressive nosey mother who nagged for me every day to study. Me, a grown ass woman. I am not thankful for her "support" at all. All she gave me was low self esteem and a fear of failure.
@ravensmoonart
@ravensmoonart Жыл бұрын
My mom was exactly like that. When you get your own place, you have got to tell them how their behavior is hurting you. If they do not apologize and change immediately then they will always be toxic and have got to go.
@christinedge7627
@christinedge7627 Жыл бұрын
@@ravensmoonart Yeah…I still love them, and I have a huge family, so I don’t want to completely cut them out. But I have already started noticing that, the not apologizing thing. I was talking about one of my interests and immediately said “I know, it’s weird” to which my mom started asking why I thought it was weird. That’s when I called her out for always saying that when I would watch something Sci-Fi related that had an alien or something stereotypically sci-fi happen, she would say “You watch some crazy/weird crap.” She got really quiet, never apologized, and just started staying quiet when watching things like that that I love. Still doesn’t give it a chance (which is fine, people have their interests, but at least she’s not insulting it😂).
@christinedge7627
@christinedge7627 Жыл бұрын
@@helenarichard Same! My mom’s a teacher; and I think she used that as parenting. I’m not blaming her or anything, but it’s like she found a way to command authority and then just applied that to her own kids. What do you get as a result? A kid who’s terrified of making a mistake because every conversation feels like a reprimand, and negative emotions lead to arguments.
@helenarichard
@helenarichard Жыл бұрын
@@christinedge7627 same for my ex. Very good professor but behind closed doors he has crippling insecurity, anxiety, depression. He is an economics professor but when he was studying, he banged his head against the wall when he thought he would fail his economics exam. I did the same before my economics exam. The things we put ourselves through out of fear for our parents. Guess what, his parents were teachers too. They never even struck me as being strickt. So there you go! My parents also look like cool casual people but when it was study time oh Lord they interfered too much with my business. Now I have been unemployed for 13 months and living with them because of depression and anxiety. Sometimes I think I have munchausen by proxy or something, or Stockholm syndrom, or good old mental underdevelopment.
@lynetteadams7415
@lynetteadams7415 Жыл бұрын
If you've been given the message that you're selfish or spoiled, being kind to yourself feels so incorrect that you can believe you've just conned the person who's giving you that advice.
@tonymckeown5393
@tonymckeown5393 Жыл бұрын
Yes I do understand this. I feel manipulated by kindness and praise; I must add, the fact that I can admit to having received praise is a quite new experience and I am trying it out here, as it were, experimentally. I hope my comment is not intrusive.
@RinuTheSwede
@RinuTheSwede Жыл бұрын
I didn't get the hang of the "self love" and "self care"-thing, until I changed tactics. Now, I imagine that I am my own support worker to coach myself when I am being anxious or depressed. If I am lucky, my own supporting and helpful voice can overpower the self hate-voice and guide me to take steps to do healthier choices.
@positivevibes5684
@positivevibes5684 Жыл бұрын
My mother was very toxic throughout my childhood and way into my adulthood. Learning about self-care for daughters of narcissistic mothers changed my life and helped me realize why I wasn't able to do healthy things for myself
@violincatch
@violincatch Жыл бұрын
Same here
@Inug4mi
@Inug4mi Жыл бұрын
I find breaking down tasks into smaller bites helps, too. Especially with exercise which I hate. I hate exercising. So what I do when I walk on something like a treadmill I say, “okay let’s go five minutes” and then I do that, and then I gently ask myself, “okay, can we do a few more minutes. And then I do that. And I keep doing that until I get to 30 mins which is the goal. Not sure if anyone else has had success with that.
@Katimorton
@Katimorton Жыл бұрын
I love that!! It makes it more doable and can make us feel more accomplished too!! xoxo
@ylana4444
@ylana4444 Жыл бұрын
I absolutely love exercise! It has to be fun and you have to “feel” it. This is the joy! Do something that’s fun..play Pickleball, go surf , do Pilates, walk your dog for an hour. When you move your body regularly, you can’t do without it, it becomes part of your life. Like flossing your teeth, I can’t do without it!
@avp6730
@avp6730 Жыл бұрын
I do that with cleaning. It‘s something that‘s really problematic for me because I leave it till it becomes so bad I‘m overwhelmed. I literally have to talk to myself. Its the only thing that helps. Can you do just this bit? That wasnt so bad, maybe a bit more over here?
@Chloe_Titles
@Chloe_Titles Жыл бұрын
This hit home. I can’t afford the help and life doesn’t slow down enough to work at a pace that’s useful for me. I’m always fighting against the current and I’m tired of trying
@amarie5620
@amarie5620 Жыл бұрын
same here
@TheAngryVikingTherapist
@TheAngryVikingTherapist Жыл бұрын
I can't push "like" on this video enough times! As a licensed therapist it scares me the number of untrained, unlicensed, and unregulated people are in social media selling self-help programs for a ridiculous amount of money, and their only skill to teach you is that they worked hard so, working hard must work for everyone.
@MegaBuuHuu
@MegaBuuHuu Жыл бұрын
I just wanted to add that you asking "have you eaten in the last 3-4hours" made me tear up because it's still really hard to accept that I'm inherently worthy to consume enough food. Everytime someone doesn't use food as subject of dieting or weightcontrol I heal a little bit more. Even that you emphasized that you don't mean healthy food made me smile. Just shows me how well you know what specific words can do to a eating disordered head. Thank you for that :)
@GrannyGooseOnYouTube
@GrannyGooseOnYouTube Жыл бұрын
I get that! I raised both of my children while I was struggling with addiction, an eating disorder, and undiagnosed ADHD I'm 63 now and I still struggle with so much guilt. I have an overwhelming feeling that I HAVE to literally go back in the past and feed them before I can eat myself (which is impossible of course). It took a lot of therapy before I was able to realize this. My children are in their 40s now and I'm still kicking my own ass. Sometimes we're told to forgive ourselves.... sometimes I think we actually need the forgiveness of others. Blessings.
@marie-ie5no
@marie-ie5no Жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for this. I had a meltdown earlier today because my depression has gotten worse and I feel frustrated about not getting better despite the amount of times I try. I'll try to be kinder to myself.
@joanolisa1
@joanolisa1 Жыл бұрын
🫂 hugs. Just one foot after another. ❤
@SuperJoe0001
@SuperJoe0001 Жыл бұрын
you are awesome. I wish I could find a care provider as real and engaged as you. its amazing watching your videos and realizing there's actually trained people out there and not just fake 9-5ers. I know the internet is flooded with bull but I watch everything and make my own decision and I am so thankful to have access to you. it often feels like a battle just with my care team to get treatment and poor treatment at that
@darrensimpson4160
@darrensimpson4160 Жыл бұрын
Hang in there brother everything will work it’s way out for you ….these videos are helping me too just goes show that everything online is all bad cause Kati is So Awesome 😀🙏🏾
@mudswallow5074
@mudswallow5074 Жыл бұрын
Me: "Please help, I can't manage to [brush my teeth, shower, exercise, etc.]." Every therapist/psychiatrist I've ever seen: "Why not?" or "You need to show yourself love." Me (to myself, with sarcasm): "Thanks a lot, that was super helpful." Don't kick yourself, Kati. I've never met any mental health professional who sees into the pit.
@Katimorton
@Katimorton Жыл бұрын
xoxoxo
@RainRemnant
@RainRemnant Жыл бұрын
@@audreybell2878 same here but with borderline mostly, but got a very sweet understanding therapist
@tondacallahan1884
@tondacallahan1884 Жыл бұрын
@mudswallow check out KC Davis How to do laundry when you're depressed. It's on KZbin and TED talk. She gives good work arounds for selfcare like buying toothbrushes with toothpaste already on them and Wiping down with baby wipes if you can't bring yourself to shower.
@DugEphresh
@DugEphresh Жыл бұрын
God bless this woman! I am still alive because of people that really care like her.
@rebeccajones9757
@rebeccajones9757 Жыл бұрын
I'm glad you're still around!
@michelinelalonde2217
@michelinelalonde2217 Жыл бұрын
^^^
@M0101EP
@M0101EP 11 ай бұрын
@AmandaSbarros
@AmandaSbarros Жыл бұрын
I'm studying psychology and I wanna be a therapist. You are such an inspiration for me. Thank you for being so kind
@chrisbinns3392
@chrisbinns3392 Жыл бұрын
When you are a therapist and you feel like you are not helping no one just remember this YOU ARE NOT HELPING NOBODY!
@Katimorton
@Katimorton Жыл бұрын
Want to see more Kati Unfiltered, my videos where I share my real, honest thoughts as it pertains to mental health? Here’s a full playlist with those episodes: kzbin.info/aero/PL_loxoCVsWqxMGZ1jTkj_mR_bxi1Pl1kV
@bradjohn9804
@bradjohn9804 Жыл бұрын
Hi Kati, great video. I am working as a therapist intern and recently learned IFS work. I wonder if this 'parts' work could be really effective for processing shame around trauma and the conflicting states you speak of in this video. IFS acknowledges that there are no 'bad' parts and all parts are welcomed. We have protectors and fire fighters that whilst good intentioned usually lead people to arrive in therapy in the first place. IFS can be an effective and empowering way of supporting the client to access 'self' and bring harmony and voice to parts, and create cohesion within the whole system.
@sunnyaz1508
@sunnyaz1508 Жыл бұрын
This comes from a caring place, hope you don’t take it the wrong way. You look like shit in this video, Kati. Are you taking care of yourself? You seem so burned out and trying to keep pushing through. Your eyes, face expression, and the dark circles speak louder. The content of this video is amazing! But at the same time I can’t shake the feeling you are pushing yourself past your limit to deliver it. You need a much much longer break! Take it before your body makes you take it. We all want you to be healthy. ❤
@dan1grrl
@dan1grrl Жыл бұрын
I really enjoyed this video (and many of your others). Breaking feelings down into realistic 'chunks' with practical, simple (not easy) solutions plus encouragement is always helpful. Thanks.
@whotelakecity2001
@whotelakecity2001 Жыл бұрын
The big picture is that we live in very toxic world but the responsibility for changing it is downloaded on each individual.
@numedia4me
@numedia4me Жыл бұрын
Yes!
@blondie-1112
@blondie-1112 Жыл бұрын
I love how you describe self care. It should not send you cash strapped. We call this "boring" self care. This vid is a great reference 👍
@Katimorton
@Katimorton Жыл бұрын
I am so glad you enjoyed it!! xoxo
@TiredSunflower
@TiredSunflower Жыл бұрын
Thank you for that extra thing by ‘notice I didn’t say healthy’ it really helps coming from someone with an ed! ❤
@MsTinkerbelle87
@MsTinkerbelle87 Жыл бұрын
Thank you for saying this! 2:31 Dang the likes are telling…we all needed this reminder. Your patients are so lucky to have you, we NEED therapists like this!
@MorgynGreyWolfASMR
@MorgynGreyWolfASMR Жыл бұрын
Part of it for me is not having energy to do anything. I mean like not even having energy to watch or listen to anything just lay in bed and sleep. Sometimes no energy to eat.
@avery-brown
@avery-brown Жыл бұрын
Same. It sucks because not eating makes me more tired, which makes me skip meals even more frequently
@gail9566
@gail9566 Жыл бұрын
Do you need lab work?
@MichelleBanda77
@MichelleBanda77 Жыл бұрын
When you switch your mind to treating yourself like you deserve to live like royalty, life becomes awesome. Honey I’ve had 3+ mental illnesses, have chronic Depersonalization (which is tough btw) + take anxiety meds to manage it and am on modest or low income. You don’t have to be super rich, or have it all to feel like you’re living your best life. I got myself a complete meal, 2 cards and some of my favorite candies- all for myself on Valentine’s Day. There is toxicity everywhere but don’t let it spoil your life even if you’re suffering. I love my life and myself right now. It’s crazy I’m saying this because when I got hit with Depersonalization, I thought it was the end of me. It only gets better if you let it become possible 🌹💄 God bless 🌹
@lizardwitch89
@lizardwitch89 Жыл бұрын
I love how raw and real your videos are. I was wondering if you ever have tips for your patients with chronic illnesses? I've been struggling so much with my Lupus and also some new scarier symptoms (waking up blind with a hypertensive crisis for almost a year straight) and this has become the biggest concern and biggest impact on my mental health. I've been expressing this to my therapist(s) and getting nowhere -- so I am in the process of searching for a new therapist, but I am struggling SO HARD. Not just with self-care -- but processing that deep fear of death and releasing how immenent it could be. I'm trying to embrace radical acceptance while also finding a health balance of distracting myself and focusing on my daily tasks, but its so much. Even grieving my health... I barely have received helpful therapy in regards to grieving my mother's death and now I am trying to process grieving the loss of my health. ALSO I do love that you say taking care of your basic needs are self-care... because sometimes that is all I can do
@mhm1767
@mhm1767 Жыл бұрын
Hi, 20 year lupus patient into remission here. Best advice I can give you is to disempower the story you have about lupus killing you by allowing yourself to do little activities that DO NOT center around lupus or its limitations. These can be carefree hobbies or even low impact workouts like a short walk or sitting down and stretching however you want for five mins. Your mental health MUST come first because you will hear everything under the sun from doctors and specialists about what not to do, what to take, and essentially everything you should WORRY about and forget that you’re a human who wants to live. Talk to your doctors and FIRE any who do not support you making alternative decisions that can healthily put your lupus on the backburner for a DAY. Did you notice how long I said I lived with lupus? I was diagnosed as a kid btw. It doesn’t have to kill us, and my health drastically improved once I made the decision to LIVE and decided to dream and imagine my future in remission. Inspire YOURSELF, and watch how bit by bit, this act of self care will transform your healthcare journey and let you take back your life while lupus stands down. They call us warriors for a reason, but make sure you are not fighting against your humanity and dreams not matter what! You’ve got this! 💜
@arielchubb2719
@arielchubb2719 Жыл бұрын
5:59 It’s a vicious cycle for me. I hate seeing clutter but I’m so overwhelmed I don’t know where to start. I know I’ll feel better if things are tidy and I feel bad about myself when that fire isn’t lit under me.
@lunarose9042
@lunarose9042 23 күн бұрын
Dana K White has doable and brilliant process for this. Please go check her out! You will want her "no mess method". It's accessible for depression/low energy/fatigue etc. ❤ Hope you're doing good enouh.
@markjones2349
@markjones2349 Жыл бұрын
Now that you mentioned it, it's almost time for my monthly shower.
@Katimorton
@Katimorton Жыл бұрын
I hope you enjoy it!! xoxo
@viktoriab4293
@viktoriab4293 3 ай бұрын
😂😂😂😂
@somewhereisgone
@somewhereisgone Жыл бұрын
Katie - I never comment, you probably won't see this, but I really needed to hear this today. My mornings have been so hard for months, even years, often crying for hours trying to be optimistic switching between why can't I be better, and I Can do this. I didn't realize there was cognitive dissonance there and that I was shaming myself for not being good enough. I'm lucky and am able to see a therapist, but not even my therapist was able to point this out to me over a year. The idea of bridge statements is going to be life changing, I can tell. I know you are fighting the good fight and know what it's like to find the cause you choose to fight draining sometimes as well. Thank you again and wishing you all the love and peace in the world. 💖🕊️
@RobertWGreaves
@RobertWGreaves Жыл бұрын
Mental health services are economically unworkable. The people who need it most are usually not employed so as to be able to afford it. And those who need it most are also least likely to have adequate insurance coverage. Finding the right therapist client connection is not easy. Add to this, the stresses of debt and bills is enough to stress out many in the lower 50%. I do not know what the solution is, but the current distribution of services model is not sufficient for the size of the problem.
@Caprieye789
@Caprieye789 Жыл бұрын
As Therapist, I have this conversation with clients often. Especially in the context of the over emphasis on individual healing/work while ignoring the importance of community.
@SurferJoe1
@SurferJoe1 Жыл бұрын
I've thought for years about pioneering the self-hindrance industry, with titles like "Always Say What You Really Think!" "It's Everyone Else's Fault!" "The Only Way To Not Lose Is To Not Play!" and "That House Isn't Going To Lie Around Itself!" But my inevitable literary triumph would debunk me. On a different note, though, thank the God of your choice for Kati Morton. She's a blessing on this world.
@JazzyLour1
@JazzyLour1 Жыл бұрын
Think I might just put this video on every day as a reminder. I work from home and more often than not, I'm left to my own devices to find work, do work, and contact others. If my long-term ptsd and adhd get in the way of my work, the first thing that goes is any form of self-care - because I stop feeling deserving of it. If I'm not doing successful work, it's my fault and it's something I have to then sacrifice my own wellbeing to make up for lost time. Even if I don't make up that lost time, I don't take care of myself, because my success with work and my deserving to be happy and healthy are so tied in together. Thank you for the reminder that this doesn't have to be the case. Hopefully I'll learn it and make it stick at some point. Hopefully I won't beat myself up if I can't.
@Kristen10-22
@Kristen10-22 Жыл бұрын
My self care is letting the sun hit my face, watching the clouds, taking care of my animals, making a cup of tea, cleaning at times. I find the back & forth movement of vacuuming helpful. If anxious I do 20 jumping jacks, holding ice in both hands.
@Janae609
@Janae609 Жыл бұрын
Woke up to you on Dr.Phil and I was so excited and proud. You're doing a amazing job spreading mental health awareness 💖
@ForViewingOnly
@ForViewingOnly Жыл бұрын
KATI! Thank you! From 7:05 when you talked about trauma leading to PTSD-like responses, and that there is usually an element of SHAME that comes with that... this was ground-breaking for me in understanding my struggles with self-care.
@ItsJustJessOkay
@ItsJustJessOkay Жыл бұрын
Go to the Dollar Tree with $5 and get some good smelling bodywash or a bath bomb, a candle, and a bottle of sparkling juice. Chill the juice, run a bath, light the candle and put some music on your phone. If you have a shower, get a face mask or face scrub instead and do some skincare. Even just hugging yourself and going within to remind yourself that you're okay and you're loved can be helpful. I love your videos, Katie. Thanks so much for being so real with us as we navigate this world together. I'll be 41 in March and I'm just now moving into the part of my life where I'm okay with who I am and where I am, no longer hanging judgements on myself. You've helped me so much. Xoxo
@sherrylaatz4105
@sherrylaatz4105 Жыл бұрын
Thanks Kati!! I really needed this video! I’ve been working on some very degrading stuff in therapy. Very shameful stuff that has been impacting me in very negative ways. Thank you so much for helping me see the important things to look at instead of the self destructive, unimportant, negative things!! You’ve been so very helpful in helping me get back on tract!
@frecklesandlightning4402
@frecklesandlightning4402 Жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for this. This is such a messed up part of the “wellness” movement. I have chronic mental and physical health conditions and I now can’t go online without being bombarded with ads of how to love myself (for $99.99). Like their isn’t enough shit to sift through in my head already. 😂 I started working in the medical marketing industry this year and I quit pretty quickly after realising often your medical details get used as “data” for content creation (for their profit). You are doing amazing work. Thank you ❤❤
@ZAB_Nailz
@ZAB_Nailz Жыл бұрын
I related to this second part so so so much. I’m an MSW (to be LSW), so I know all the self-help and coping skills. But I don’t believe, truly believe that I’m worthy of taking care of myself. Because like you said, I’m like “what’s wrong with me?”, “why can’t I just shower and brush my teeth and get dressed every day like everyone else”. And so it spirals and self-care takes so many spoons and when I feel like I don’t deserve to feel clean, or feed myself, or get out of bed, I simply just don’t. Sorry for the Ted talk, but this really resonated with me.
@storytellerhut3488
@storytellerhut3488 Жыл бұрын
Thank you Kati! Shame is so crippling. I feel like I get better with coping skills for a bit but then crash again, with Shame. I love that you talk about doable free self care things. One of the best things I learned from you was when you said “sometimes self care sucks! Sometimes self care means doing something shitty today so ‘Tomorrow Kati’ can rest.” It’s my ONE way I can self care without gagging in shame and disgust.
@JennyGaston
@JennyGaston Жыл бұрын
Yes, thanks for being so honest about the reality of getting mental health. This is why I offer a sliding scale and discounts for college students♥️
@jansimpson4364
@jansimpson4364 Жыл бұрын
Hardest thing right now is setting boundaries and not feeling bad about myself for doing it when the other person reacts negatively. I also realize that I’m way too late on setting the boundary so I’m having to be more forceful, also due to not feeling like they are going to take me seriously…
@jJust_NO_
@jJust_NO_ Жыл бұрын
yep.. can relate. ive become conflict averse and more propelled by right conduct mentality. like a pacifier of a chaotic environment. but im naturally a recluse person so dealing too much with other stickiness has become less of an issue. now my ultimate want is financial independence which gives me a lpt of anxiety thinking about
@angko-pe
@angko-pe Жыл бұрын
Omg I need a longer video about self-care, negative self-talk, bridge statements and how to navigate that. I don't feel like I'm talking trash to myself, but I have this voice (my adoptive mother's voice) in my head 24/7 telling me all the horrible things she said to me growing up. I'm close to 40 and "the voice" has gotten louder and meaner lately. I find myself not being able to trust anything I feel, think, say or experience because the voice is always telling me negative things. I'm so exhausted. My therapist has urged me to take up going to the gym as a form of self-care and also to help me regulate my emotions. I've tried telling her that's impossible, I cannot do it. Not in a million years. I strongly and wholeheartedly feel I don't deserve self care and a way to regulate my emotions.
@michaelkeller5927
@michaelkeller5927 Жыл бұрын
Positive affirmations worked for me. Before bed and right when I wake up. 7 affirmations that are about my core needs and core pains. I have 8 that I repeat. # 2. I'm smart, I'm funny, I'm capable, I'm appreciated. I no longer talk down or berate myself when I make a mistake. It takes about 6 weeks, but it's literally changed my life. I'm 43 and started this about 5 months ago
@Katimorton
@Katimorton Жыл бұрын
Here's another video about it that could help too!! xoxo kzbin.info/www/bejne/p52xo6KObNiUftU
@angko-pe
@angko-pe Жыл бұрын
@@Katimorton thank you 😘
@LadyRevania
@LadyRevania Жыл бұрын
KZbin recommended this video to me and I love it! I'm not a fan of this whole positive talk, it feels like lying to myself... I get my hopes up and it's for nothing, because I get disappointed. Being pessimistic is less risky and when something good happens I actually enjoy it, because I didn't expect it to happen. Usually what powers me is my anger and frustration, I've noticed that after dropping people who were mistreating me I'm feeling much better. So the thing that I really needed was to acknowledge I deserve basic respect. But I don't need to fake positivity when I'm not in the mood for that, all of my feelings are valid.
@arenzejeanette1120
@arenzejeanette1120 Жыл бұрын
Phew, my body did that under a really uncomfortable conversation, just shaking with no controle. I was even under a blanket, no cold no nothing, just violent shaking 😵‍💫
@Evoke_1
@Evoke_1 Жыл бұрын
Therapy was unbelievably expensive. So was the medication. I couldn't afford either when at the time I lost my career job during covid. It took time, but I realized after 2 years that I was the only one who could help myself. Now, I'm in a great place where life used to be unbearable. I'm not saying therapy is not a choice. But for me, it wasn't
@call_in_sick
@call_in_sick Жыл бұрын
I e always found d therapists willing to Negotiate on price. Maybe I’ve just been very lucky. But I’ve always found where there’s a will there is a way. I’m glad you got to a good place.
@Katimorton
@Katimorton Жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for sharing and I am glad you were able to help yourself and get yourself to a great place :) xoxo
@Evoke_1
@Evoke_1 Жыл бұрын
Thank you, Hugs 🫂 I dare say I feel better now after all the hardships. As if I see life and myself with new eyes. Anyone who reads this. Just know that there is always an open ear. U just need to speak to the right one
@MariaOnYT
@MariaOnYT Жыл бұрын
It's so refreshing to see someone without makeup and a full "ready for the camera" look. Thank you for all the work you've been doing.
@MS-bn3rg
@MS-bn3rg Жыл бұрын
What's crazy is some mindset channel popped up on my channel and it started this desire for change in me and some of the things you discuss here are things I've been considering self care. Doing breathwork for anxiety or going for a walk when anxious( regulating my nervous system), learning how to work on boundaries, practicing assertiveness. Just saw your channel pop up on my feed, and I'm subscribing to see more. I don't think spending excess money equates to self care, I'm unemployed currently and that makes me feel loads better than buying something for temporary gratification
@apcxpo
@apcxpo Жыл бұрын
wow, thank you for caring sooo much about people you don't know and doing everything you can to help them!
@oliviaanderson8532
@oliviaanderson8532 Жыл бұрын
KATIE, you’re my favorite person😭❤️
@oliviaanderson8532
@oliviaanderson8532 Жыл бұрын
oops Kati*
@Katimorton
@Katimorton Жыл бұрын
xoxox
@rickm8443
@rickm8443 Жыл бұрын
There will always be people selling “Snake Oil” as the cure-all for everything…..unfortunately. We just have to be ever vigilant to do the research into the products and services that people are offering.
@MrRubgov
@MrRubgov Жыл бұрын
It's nice you post videos like these. It reveals your humanity. Way too often among content creators or maybe even people in general, it's hard to pinpoint or even see a sliver of humanity in them, partly because of differences among people and the connections you speak of. I appreciate you showing your humanity a lot - that's fantastic. One thing I wanted to ask and doubt I'll receive a response to is how much time you spend feeling suffocated despite your effectiveness in every day life.
@bek___
@bek___ Жыл бұрын
Thank you Kati for sharing. This video is incredibly helpful. I've been struggling with self care since starting therapy a few months ago. My mind is constantly on an endless spiral, trying to use coping skills while living with anxiety, depression and PTSD. I appreciate you highlighting how trauma makes self care difficult.
@AdaraFukuchi
@AdaraFukuchi Жыл бұрын
wait... you're turning 40?!?!?!?!?! MAN YOU DONT LOOK A DAY OLDER THAN 30!
@el-jay_
@el-jay_ Жыл бұрын
right ?? - I may be blind, but I truly appreciate Her zero use of makeup 🥹
@Katimorton
@Katimorton Жыл бұрын
Aww thanks!! xoxo
@Jordan-gw7ct
@Jordan-gw7ct Жыл бұрын
Is Dr. Phil not a part of the problem? Has he not a made a career out of capitalizing on vulnerable people?
@polinanikulina
@polinanikulina Жыл бұрын
Thank you!! Now I get why when my therapist tells me to try and notice my emotions and signals from my body as well as my thoughts, it makes no sense! In our family, only moderate to severe physical symptoms were enough to cause concern, so I've learned to minimize and ignore anything that doesn't affect my ability to function physically.
@trevorgrondin1512
@trevorgrondin1512 Жыл бұрын
i can’t believe how long i have been watching you and benefiting from your presence here on YT! thank you for continuing to reach people where they are and give us an opportunity to stride towards self healing and recovery:)
@morganrobertson3721
@morganrobertson3721 Жыл бұрын
I so appreciate this video, I struggled to understand self care for many years and still working on it, especially that a lot of it has to do with addressing unresolved trauma I went through. I had strict parents that sheltered me a lot, my mom stayed in a bad marriage with my dad up until I was about 15, my mom passed away when I was 16 from cancer, a lot of my needs were not met the right way from them, but yet they met a lot of my brother's needs, no matter how much I complained to my parents about certain needs, they refused to honor them and always justifying how they wanted me to be. My mom did a bad job homeschooling me where I had to beg her for regular School, and that she had a Doctor diagnose me with Asperger's syndrome which I believe I outgrew or never had because my mom's lack of skills. They made me play the piano, I did not like it at all even though I was good at the time, if I wanted to quit they wouldn't let me and started manipulating me if I ever did quit, they would not allow me to make my own decisions for a career field I wanted. My brother passed away from a form of cancer about 8 years after my mom, then my dad passed away in 2018 from a heart attack, I did not have a good relationship with him a majority of my life because of his abuse, I stopped talking to him about 11 years before his passing. I'm lucky to have Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins I'm close to. It took me so many years to understand the trauma I was exposed to and how it hurt my cognitive ability. I'm 39 now, but I'm still working on healing, prior therapy before the pandemic, I did not understand the past trauma that was not processed right. I do rely on my faith a lot and know that God took my parents and brother for a reason. I'm so thankful I found your channel as it is helping my healing journey besides my other therapy. Today, I work a job in the Criminal Justice field helping to change prisoners lives that I enjoy with a passion, and unfortunately, my parents would probably not be supportive if they were around because they were too set in their ways and wanted control over every part of my life. I'd like you to talk about how being exposed to trauma impairs cognitive and motor skills and reasons why some parents want control over every part of their children.
@Rubester-cl6op
@Rubester-cl6op Жыл бұрын
Agreed and as far as self help books and what not most are bs and written by scammers. As far as self care goes sure a message or shopping trips can be self care, but so can saying no, simply going for a walk , if you read enjoy reading a book, sleep well, and yes medication and showers , laundry lots of stuff.
@TheGuinElla
@TheGuinElla Жыл бұрын
I suddenly started crying while watching this video. I have been having those shame thoughts and at the same time doing some ineffective coping. Thank you for talking about this, Kati.. ♥️
@melligolightly
@melligolightly Жыл бұрын
I can't help to be incredibly grateful to work as a mental health professional in Germany. Here, it is covered by health insurance, which - not like in the US - is compulsory to every citizen.
@rebeccajones9757
@rebeccajones9757 Жыл бұрын
The US is so messed up. I had to send in proof of my marriage so I can keep my husband on my health insurance. Heaven forbid we let someone get medical care without proving they are worthy.
@caitlynneko3023
@caitlynneko3023 Жыл бұрын
On the other side I find it so difficult to get a therapist in Germany. From my experience it's linked to calling through a list of 10+ therapists in your area, getting often times rejected because there is not even a waiting list anymore. I understand that it's great to have insurance coverage & that offices that are obligated to provide an emergency meeting, but I feel soo discouraged getting into therapy. I've even been thinking of paying for therapy myself because it would (probably) help tremendously in the shameful and discouraging process of finding a therapist.
@melligolightly
@melligolightly Жыл бұрын
Yes, sadly, this is true. So, theoretically, psychotherapy is available to everyone here, but there are just too little capacities right now. 😔
@Viva_la_natura
@Viva_la_natura Жыл бұрын
@@caitlynneko3023 I'm a clinician in the US, and it's the same thing here. It's extremely difficult for people to find a qualified licensed therapist, and our patchwork of private insurances make it even more difficult because even if you can find a therapist, chances are they don't accept your insurance. The waiting lists are ridiculous.
@teslagoth9401
@teslagoth9401 Жыл бұрын
A nice hot shower is totally mood boosting. If you have a towel warmer it’s life changing ❤
@Katimorton
@Katimorton Жыл бұрын
Totally life changing!!!! xoxo
@mariafrias2500
@mariafrias2500 Жыл бұрын
This video was amazing. I’m poor. I’m barely surviving. And I needed to hear this. Sigh
@hollo0o583
@hollo0o583 Жыл бұрын
the thing that helped me is realising that not doing something is actively self harming. That self sabotage isn't just inaction or a feeling that makes things difficult but actual harm. Seeing the body as a holy temple/ vessel that should be treated accordingly. I'm not a religious or particularly spiritual person but life and continuousness is a miracle. A gift that ought to be cherished and honoured and kept alive for as long as it is possible. Looking at what I do and see and imagining someone else in the exact same situation doing the same thing, a best friend feeling the same way, and how wrong that feels. How dare the most Wonderfull person talk this way.
@ericapoe
@ericapoe Жыл бұрын
Taking hot showers, doing basic skincare helps a lot for me.. listening to music for me is self-care. I love massages but they’re so expensive. Taking care of my space helps at times.. lighting candles I also find that helps me. Thanks Kati!
@albussnape2
@albussnape2 Жыл бұрын
You have so much good to share. Wish you’d look into and honestly address the damaging downside of corporate “mental health” industry, including BetterHelp and similar online businesses. Terrible exploitation of both contracted “therapists” and of desperate people in need. It is not better help. It is big business out for profits. It would be a service to people to address the corporatization corruption in the mental health industry.
@enamored1
@enamored1 Жыл бұрын
My biggest problem is the lack of confidentiality in therapy. Putting people in psych wards or calling the police is not helpful.
@enamored1
@enamored1 Жыл бұрын
@@eddieh3580 don’t they deserve to have a safe place to talk to someone???
@kathleengivant-taylor2277
@kathleengivant-taylor2277 Жыл бұрын
Agree
@kathleengivant-taylor2277
@kathleengivant-taylor2277 Жыл бұрын
They deserve too be treated with dignity and respect. Unlike they are treated in us mental health care system most times. It creates more trauma then it solves. Ur mental health care system needs mayor overhaul
@cheerbeerification
@cheerbeerification Жыл бұрын
@@eddieh3580 Fair. But imagine a world where they send a counselor to talk to you and offer kindness and an alternative. Today you get the police at your door and a handcuffed ride to the hospital where they pump you full of drugs and discharge you.
@ashwinrebbapragada7626
@ashwinrebbapragada7626 Жыл бұрын
You provided some good tips and suggestions for self-care. I agree self-care steps don't have to require tons of money. For me, I like reading free online books. I read educational articles and view academic websites. There are good career and educational videos on KZbin. I listen to classical music. Thanks again for the support, encouragement, and advice.
@gina.marie13
@gina.marie13 Жыл бұрын
Thanks for talking about this. The self-care is a multibillion dollar, never-ending assembly line. I'm a clinician and I honestly find the perpetuation of the self-care narrative frustrating. I listen to Glennon Doyle's podcast and she said the vast majority of self-care products marketed to women are actually beauty products, which is appalling.
@ragtimegals
@ragtimegals Жыл бұрын
Growing up I was constantly told how filthy and dirty I was and that no one would ever marry a dirty person like me. But they never taught me how to clean and I was a child who shouldn’t have had to do much cleaning anyway. This has created a really bad shame spiral for me where I feel literally “triggered” by cleaning. I’m constantly either feeling like by cleaning I’m trying to prove my family wrong, which bothers me because I don’t want to feel like I’m trying to get their approval. Yet cleaning itself just drums up all those memories of being told how lazy, dirty, useless I am and I’ve had to learn to drown out those voices. I have to separate the act of cleaning from their perception of it and make it my own. Unfortunately, my mother in law likes to rub it in my face as well how dirty/messy I apparently am and she actually goes so far as to blame it on my race. I can’t tell you how painful and humiliating that was for me and she didn’t even understand why I was upset, and actually refused to come to her own granddaughters birthday party because I stood up for myself. Sorry for the rant but this is just such a perfect video for this situation im going through right now.
@dawna4185
@dawna4185 Жыл бұрын
...sending you lots of hugs❤
@onlyinsomniac
@onlyinsomniac Жыл бұрын
Love how I got a BetterHelp ad before this video 🤦‍♀️
@albussnape2
@albussnape2 Жыл бұрын
BetterHelp and similar corporate “mental health” businesses are expensive and a terrible corruption of the mental health industry
@Katimorton
@Katimorton Жыл бұрын
hahaha!! Omg!! lol
@tassiasmith
@tassiasmith Жыл бұрын
The thing that really helped me to learn to practice self care and dismantle that voice inside that was constantly criticizing and demeaning myself was when my counselor told me that the child I had been who endured all that trauma was still inside me, still a part of me and that the child deserved better. I don't know, it helped me to think of not doing things for myself, but for that child, who like all children, deserved to be cared for. Probably not relevant for people who aren't carrying around a bunch of childhood trauma, but it might help someone. It helped me a lot when I couldn't be kind to myself.
@zombieeatslollipop
@zombieeatslollipop Жыл бұрын
I'm so grateful for you and your channel.
@Katimorton
@Katimorton Жыл бұрын
Aww of course!! xoxo
@sweetlolitaChii
@sweetlolitaChii Жыл бұрын
There's so much I could rant about when it comes to insurance companies, wellness exploitation, and the broken system we live in but I feel like you already summed it up well. I was wondering if there could be a video on practicing self care while caring for a newborn and ways to manage/resources for someone low income living on their own? Things that are free or just small ways to feel even 1% better
@jsmithsemper4848
@jsmithsemper4848 Жыл бұрын
Go outside. A lot. Pack some snacks & push that sweet lil baby all around until you feel better ❤
@isabellabass5346
@isabellabass5346 Жыл бұрын
I’ve found so many ways to take care of myself that don’t include therapy. I can’t go back, I can’t have another therapist that talks bad about me to my loved ones. I’ve started believing more therapists are corrupt and do more damage than those who are good.
@rainbeau9752
@rainbeau9752 Жыл бұрын
one of the best pieces of advice I have ever gotten. not only did I feel validated and understood, but given a remedy for a better way of thinking and living with my condition and struggles. thank you, Kati, so very much!
@lauragill6019
@lauragill6019 Жыл бұрын
I love how you bring it back to basics of simple ways to do self care. Also, I like how bring up the issue of how profoundly shame effects our ability to do self care.
@daviddanielsson3643
@daviddanielsson3643 Жыл бұрын
From a Swedish perspective it's similar to some extent, but still different. Few Swedish people have private insurance (no such system has developed due to a historical antipathy from the ruling Social democratic party to privatization of health care), in theory all citizens are insured by Försäkringskassan (government agency), but in practice there are some additional problems: 1. Due to the shortage of private psychotherapists and the fact that the money payed out from Försäkringskassan won't cover private health care anyways the large majority of all people in need of treatment are referred to the county counsil-driven psychiatry, which is largely underfunded and basically have been reduced out of existence due to cut downs. The lines are extremely long, sometimes years, especially if you're in line for specialized treatment such as trauma therapy which is much harder to access. 2. Psychiatry in Sweden is strictly organized in line with DSM-5 and if it's not in DSM, they won't treat it. In my case I struggled through the system for nearly a decade in hope for treatment for C-PTSD (which is in ICD-11 both not DSM-5) only to learn that they agreed to put me on the waiting list for PTSD-treatment (this was a year ago and I still have not heard back from them), but made it clear that they could only treat an index-trauma (simple, singular) and if I needed additional treatment I would have to find a private therapist and pay for it myself. Luckily, with the help of a family member, I'm now in private therapy since last summer. Point being: Self care can only get you so far and such as in the case of trauma (or multiple traumas with chronic dissociation, such as in my case) the psychiatric illness may be of such a nature that self care is, especially in the early stages of treatment, something that is most beneficial or perhaps only possible if it's used complementary with proper therapeutic (and medical) interventions. There are, however, some free resources that can help such as the app PTSD-coach (developed by the national center for PTSD and available in several languages) and also DBT-apps for your phone. MUSE (google it, it's an app + a headband with meditations and neurofeedback) have also helped me a lot, although it's a bit costly. Sorry for the wall of text, but I had to vent.
@gaelle4328
@gaelle4328 Жыл бұрын
And also from a Swedish perspective the last 20 years plus the regions which are responsible for healthcare has been in majority and all over the country ruled by rightwing majorities which has meant cutbacks in salaries ( and corruption scandals) plus at the same time rightwing budgets on a national level for most of those years which together has meant a severe crises both in healthcare and other social systems at the same time. The gaps in society has markedly increased and both SD ie Swedish democrats and Moderaterna Ie the Conservatives have been clear about that it has been on purpose but the supposed economic benefits to society at large has not come about. What has come about are record breaking psychiatric problems.
@gaelle4328
@gaelle4328 Жыл бұрын
My personal take both for Sweden and all over Europe remove partially or wholly taxation on non- profit foundations that provide public service such as healthcare, care for the elderly, housing etc and for sweden make it a lot easier to work a private specialist but be paid by the public means. And close the income and social gaps in a major way by putting capital gains tax apart from private housing at the same level as income tax to start off with and raising funds for healthcare, socialsystems, infrastructure etc. Whilst putting much harder anti-corruption laws in place for public spending .
@Katimorton
@Katimorton Жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for sharing!!! This is incredibly helpful and I honestly think that all systems have their faults and issues :( I feel like as a world we need to do better, especially in the mental health space. It's my hope that the more we talk about it the more pressure our governments and insurance companies will feel to change and improve their systems. xoxo
@PropertyRecoveryAgentCLE
@PropertyRecoveryAgentCLE Жыл бұрын
After being on different ssri's for years I found one that worked great for my depression! Trintellix was the best ssri I was ever on. Here was the problem. I had no insurance and it cost $300 a month. My old psychologist would give me samples. So for years, literally years she gave me samples. Then they couldn't provide samples anymore and I couldn't afford to buy it and have never been able to get back on them. I live in the USA. Wish I lived elsewhere in regards to mental health care!
@Katimorton
@Katimorton Жыл бұрын
Ugh I am so sorry :( Sometimes GoodRX or assistance through the company who makes it can help. That has saved a few of my patients over the years. xoxo
@sekischro5093
@sekischro5093 Жыл бұрын
im on this medication right now. but, after how long does the improvements come?
@micael8343
@micael8343 Жыл бұрын
I LOVE these less scripted honest chat videos you put out! I appreciate your desire to create more scripted, concise content. That being said, I find these unscripted videos to be the most helpful and easily relatable for me. I hope and would love to see more of them on your channel ❤
@mfroling123
@mfroling123 Жыл бұрын
Kati…I’m recovering from a stroke, while schooling to become a coach to help people overcome addiction. I’ve learned so much doing this. I found you accidentally and ended up taking your class on boundaries recently. Know that you are Amazing, and have a real gift with relatability. I’m blessed to have learned from you, and look forward to much, much more. Keep doing “you”…we all need it. Thank you…
@markuswunsch
@markuswunsch Жыл бұрын
A self-help channel rightfully criticizing the bad side of the self-help industry ;-) I think it really depends on who is producing what for which reason and how.
@call_in_sick
@call_in_sick Жыл бұрын
💯
@christiegrows2022
@christiegrows2022 Жыл бұрын
I love the conversational open way you’re filming now. ❤
@Katimorton
@Katimorton Жыл бұрын
Aww yay!! Thanks for the feedback. I sometimes get nervous doing these more relaxed off the cuff types of videos. xoxo
@kawtharahmed1311
@kawtharahmed1311 Жыл бұрын
This is the most relatable and realistic video uve watch is a long time. Thank you for sharing this! Very helpful 🙌🏽
@airohwalker2478
@airohwalker2478 Жыл бұрын
Something I’ve found really helpful is to pause and give myself the opportunity to do things differently when I’m struggling. Sometimes I really want to do something to take care of myself, but it feels so impossible. I end up doing nothing and feeling inadequate. In moments like that I try to notice and ask myself, “what is one thing I can realistically push myself to do right now?”. The realistically is the key though! On harder days that could mean something as small as trying to wiggle my toes instead of trying to walk to the bathroom. Not every day is a good one, but every day you deserve compassion from yourself and others
@seidenschnabelfederflugel5441
@seidenschnabelfederflugel5441 Жыл бұрын
Aurora the singer said something like that: If by the end of the day we made it in our own bed alive, where are successful humans. ♥️ I love her she is amazing. I definitly need to cut me some slack from time to time. I'm very hard on myself and always need to do more and more. But i made it in my own bed tonight, alive. I'm successful. ♥️💟 Hope you all have a good night. Sending lots of love and virtual hugs. We got this. We are not alone. I see you. And even though we will never meet: i love you stranger. Also: I love you my inner child. Be safe. ❣️ Everything will be fine. You got this.
@s.e.i9419
@s.e.i9419 Жыл бұрын
Thank you for all the hard work you put in .
@Katimorton
@Katimorton Жыл бұрын
Of course!! I am so happy to do it :) xoxo
@lanagievski1540
@lanagievski1540 Жыл бұрын
Needed to hear this from someone within the industry. Really validates the issues I’ve been having with all this stuff
@Dukkyjames200
@Dukkyjames200 Жыл бұрын
I think it’s wonderful that professionals like yourself are opening up a discussion like this. It’s important and I feel like a majority of companies exist to take advantage of vulnerable people.
@auraliax1323
@auraliax1323 Жыл бұрын
i love this video so much and i relate to everything you said, thank you♥
@Katimorton
@Katimorton Жыл бұрын
You're so welcome!
@SilkCityIndependent
@SilkCityIndependent Жыл бұрын
Kati, do you feel that therapists' KZbin channels can inadvertently contribute to this problem with the increasing need for followers?
@Katimorton
@Katimorton Жыл бұрын
They totally could.. but I think it's the brand deals that could be worse. We have to be careful what we offer or talk about and how accessible that thing is. You know? xoxo
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